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1
00:02:21,202 --> 00:02:24,204
[rock music]
2
00:02:24,205 --> 00:02:32,145
� �
3
00:02:43,891 --> 00:02:46,692
(The Faint)
� I feel a warm resistance �
4
00:02:46,693 --> 00:02:49,562
� beneath the outer layer. �
5
00:02:49,563 --> 00:02:52,565
[muted music]
6
00:02:52,566 --> 00:02:56,736
� �
7
00:02:56,737 --> 00:02:59,906
That's too goddamn elegant
not to be true.
8
00:02:59,907 --> 00:03:04,177
(The Faint)
� Not speaking, prince,
now, are you? �
9
00:03:04,178 --> 00:03:08,547
� Not breathing
one more breath. �
10
00:03:08,548 --> 00:03:09,849
� �
11
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:11,417
(man)
Oh, yeah, that's a full load.
12
00:03:11,418 --> 00:03:12,919
That is a full load.
13
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:16,122
[coughing]
14
00:03:16,123 --> 00:03:17,056
Wow.
15
00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:19,159
Next!
16
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,860
No, no, no.
I can do one more.
17
00:03:20,861 --> 00:03:22,929
Dude, can you, like,
OD on pot?
18
00:03:22,930 --> 00:03:24,864
(man)
I guess we're about
to find out.
19
00:03:24,865 --> 00:03:26,032
[muted music]
20
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:29,202
[man and woman
breathing heavily]
21
00:03:34,141 --> 00:03:36,609
Oh, my God.
22
00:03:37,978 --> 00:03:40,280
How can I even think?
23
00:03:40,281 --> 00:03:43,283
[relaxed rock music]
24
00:03:43,284 --> 00:03:48,888
� �
25
00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:54,194
(Grateful Dead)
� As I was walking
round Grosvenor Square, �
26
00:03:54,195 --> 00:03:56,930
� not a chill to the winter
but a nip to the air. �
27
00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:57,931
Wanna dance?
28
00:03:57,932 --> 00:04:00,166
Yes!
29
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:02,001
� From the other direction... �
30
00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:03,402
With me?
31
00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:05,338
Denied!
32
00:04:05,339 --> 00:04:10,877
(Grateful Dead)
� It could be an illusion,
but I might as well try. �
33
00:04:10,878 --> 00:04:13,213
� Might as well try. �
34
00:04:13,214 --> 00:04:16,249
� �
35
00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:18,318
[telephone rings]
36
00:04:18,319 --> 00:04:19,719
beep!
37
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:20,887
(man)
Hello, Bickford.
38
00:04:20,888 --> 00:04:22,355
It's Dad.
39
00:04:22,356 --> 00:04:23,756
I'm still trying to reach you.
40
00:04:23,757 --> 00:04:25,491
It's been a couple of weeks
already.
41
00:04:25,492 --> 00:04:28,861
I hope no news is good news,
but call, okay?
42
00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:31,064
I don't want to have
to send another search party.
43
00:04:33,634 --> 00:04:35,835
beep!
44
00:04:35,836 --> 00:04:39,772
� �
45
00:04:39,773 --> 00:04:41,007
[laughs]
46
00:04:41,008 --> 00:04:42,842
Busted robbing a fridge.
47
00:04:42,843 --> 00:04:45,278
How embarrassing.
48
00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,181
Attractive, uh...
49
00:04:48,182 --> 00:04:49,182
toga.
50
00:04:49,183 --> 00:04:50,216
Thank you.
51
00:04:50,217 --> 00:04:52,352
It's very me.
52
00:04:52,353 --> 00:04:53,853
So when they say "toga party,"
53
00:04:53,854 --> 00:04:56,856
it means you have to actually
wear a toga to the party.
54
00:04:56,857 --> 00:04:57,857
Duh!
55
00:04:57,858 --> 00:04:59,125
What did you think it was?
56
00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:00,293
I don't know,
57
00:05:00,294 --> 00:05:02,895
a state of mind, like,
"Come prepared to toga."
58
00:05:02,896 --> 00:05:06,232
To toga,
or not to toga.
59
00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:07,334
Shakespeare, right?
60
00:05:07,335 --> 00:05:09,169
That's a good imitation.
61
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:10,937
Shh.
62
00:05:10,938 --> 00:05:14,207
I'm going to steal
this H2O.
63
00:05:19,746 --> 00:05:22,449
So are you having fun
at the,
64
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:25,352
you know, party?
65
00:05:25,353 --> 00:05:27,287
Oh, yeah, mad fun.
You?
66
00:05:27,288 --> 00:05:29,089
Uh...
[laughs]
67
00:05:29,090 --> 00:05:30,756
Not yet.
68
00:05:30,757 --> 00:05:32,592
I've just been on my own
so far,
69
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,427
banging my head
against a brick wall
70
00:05:34,428 --> 00:05:35,962
metaphorically.
71
00:05:35,963 --> 00:05:39,065
So then your head must
metaphorically hurt.
72
00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:40,600
Some days, yes.
73
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,969
But Zeus had a headache,
and out popped Athena, right?
74
00:05:42,970 --> 00:05:44,270
Goddess of wisdom.
75
00:05:44,271 --> 00:05:46,639
Oh, my God.
76
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:47,974
Space-out.
77
00:05:47,975 --> 00:05:50,143
I used to know mythology.
78
00:05:50,144 --> 00:05:52,112
I totally loved that class.
79
00:05:52,113 --> 00:05:53,946
What--
80
00:05:53,947 --> 00:05:56,282
oh, paranoia.
81
00:05:56,283 --> 00:05:57,917
Paranoia.
82
00:05:57,918 --> 00:05:59,452
Whoa.
83
00:05:59,453 --> 00:06:01,287
All right.
84
00:06:05,859 --> 00:06:07,627
Banzai.
85
00:06:11,365 --> 00:06:15,168
(The Concretes)
� You can't hurry love. �
86
00:06:15,169 --> 00:06:18,304
� �
87
00:06:18,305 --> 00:06:21,408
� You can't hurry love. �
88
00:06:21,409 --> 00:06:25,011
� �
89
00:06:25,012 --> 00:06:29,615
� You can't hurry love. �
90
00:06:36,390 --> 00:06:37,957
(male voice)
You shall not pass.
91
00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:40,060
Yow!
92
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:45,231
You shall not pass.
93
00:06:48,235 --> 00:06:51,171
You shall not pass.
94
00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:54,040
Fucking righteous.
95
00:07:01,515 --> 00:07:04,517
[upbeat rock music]
96
00:07:04,518 --> 00:07:07,220
� �
97
00:07:07,221 --> 00:07:10,890
(Fuzz Townshend)
� Have you got
a light for me? �
98
00:07:10,891 --> 00:07:14,360
� If so, can you get me
out of this place? �
99
00:08:02,109 --> 00:08:04,810
[acoustic guitar music]
100
00:08:04,811 --> 00:08:07,713
(man)
� Elevation far below you. �
101
00:08:07,714 --> 00:08:10,116
(man)
Hey, look at that guy!
102
00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:12,852
(man)
Oh, come on.
Jump, dude!
103
00:08:12,853 --> 00:08:15,321
(woman)
Yeah, go!
104
00:08:15,322 --> 00:08:17,990
Isn't that the whack-job
that lives in the basement?
105
00:08:17,991 --> 00:08:19,425
Jesus, yeah.
106
00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:20,493
Hey, uh,
107
00:08:20,494 --> 00:08:22,462
Bickford,
you want to hang
108
00:08:22,463 --> 00:08:24,930
with us, man,
away from the ledge there?
109
00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:26,266
(Bickford)
No can do, pal.
110
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:27,733
I'm not in conversational mode.
111
00:08:27,734 --> 00:08:29,402
I thought I was,
112
00:08:29,403 --> 00:08:30,570
but fuck it.
113
00:08:30,571 --> 00:08:32,272
What's he saying?
114
00:08:32,273 --> 00:08:35,775
Uh, what you
talking about, Bick?
115
00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,877
The problem.
116
00:08:37,878 --> 00:08:40,213
I thought I could forget
about it for a while
117
00:08:40,214 --> 00:08:43,416
and mingle, toga, whatever,
but no.
118
00:08:43,417 --> 00:08:44,917
No dice.
119
00:08:44,918 --> 00:08:46,852
I'm lobe-locked.
120
00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:50,456
Bro, what's up with
the term paper, all right?
121
00:08:50,457 --> 00:08:51,957
You're making us all
look bad.
122
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:53,125
It's not for class.
123
00:08:54,195 --> 00:08:55,195
The problem
124
00:08:55,196 --> 00:08:56,796
is just a cool idea.
125
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,198
What is it?
126
00:08:58,199 --> 00:08:59,499
What's your cool idea?
127
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,867
A unified theory of everything.
128
00:09:03,837 --> 00:09:06,038
It's not a big deal.
129
00:09:06,039 --> 00:09:08,974
[breathing heavily]
130
00:09:18,452 --> 00:09:21,787
Holy God, wow.
131
00:09:23,156 --> 00:09:24,691
Damn!
132
00:09:24,692 --> 00:09:25,725
So we're living
133
00:09:25,726 --> 00:09:27,627
in an unimaginably giant
black hole.
134
00:09:27,628 --> 00:09:28,761
We're antimatter.
135
00:09:28,762 --> 00:09:31,497
And antimatter
negates existence.
136
00:09:31,498 --> 00:09:34,100
I'm definitely matter,
Einstein.
137
00:09:34,101 --> 00:09:35,235
Check out the gut.
138
00:09:35,236 --> 00:09:36,402
[laughter]
139
00:09:36,403 --> 00:09:37,770
All right, proof two.
140
00:09:37,771 --> 00:09:42,141
Subatomically, 99.99% of you
is empty space,
141
00:09:42,142 --> 00:09:43,409
including your gut,
142
00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,478
brains, everything.
143
00:09:45,479 --> 00:09:46,946
So how you can assert
your existence
144
00:09:46,947 --> 00:09:50,516
when basic physics prove
that you're overwhelmingly
145
00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:52,151
composed of empty space?
146
00:09:52,152 --> 00:09:53,386
But thinking.
147
00:09:53,387 --> 00:09:54,854
How can you think
if you don't exist?
148
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:57,857
You know, I think.
Therefore, I am.
149
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,659
That works for me, man.
150
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,395
Even Descartes believed
that he was incorrect.
151
00:10:02,396 --> 00:10:03,529
You know what changed his mind?
152
00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:05,732
Did he hit the monster bong?
153
00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:06,932
[laughter]
154
00:10:06,933 --> 00:10:09,502
No, Descartes did not hit
the monster bong.
155
00:10:09,503 --> 00:10:12,838
Better: the invention
of metaphysics blew his mind,
156
00:10:12,839 --> 00:10:14,741
the idea that everyone
157
00:10:14,742 --> 00:10:17,877
experiences life solely,
uniquely, impenetrably
158
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:20,045
from their own point of view.
159
00:10:20,046 --> 00:10:21,247
No offense, bro,
160
00:10:21,248 --> 00:10:24,417
but all these ideas
are just paradoxes.
161
00:10:24,418 --> 00:10:26,152
I've had deeper thoughts
watching Oprah.
162
00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:30,856
Not that I do.
163
00:10:32,359 --> 00:10:33,526
(man)
Who is it?
164
00:10:33,527 --> 00:10:35,127
It's me, Trent.
165
00:10:35,128 --> 00:10:36,763
Jennifer?
166
00:10:36,764 --> 00:10:39,832
It's Sara.
167
00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:43,169
Hey.
168
00:10:43,170 --> 00:10:45,171
Hi.
169
00:10:45,172 --> 00:10:47,607
Hi.
170
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:58,484
Look what I liberated.
171
00:10:58,485 --> 00:11:00,453
What is this?
172
00:11:00,454 --> 00:11:01,987
Rocket fuel.
173
00:11:01,988 --> 00:11:04,023
Rocket fuel?
174
00:11:05,992 --> 00:11:10,062
[music playing in the distance]
175
00:11:10,063 --> 00:11:13,533
� Going to the-- �
176
00:11:13,534 --> 00:11:15,234
No.
177
00:11:15,235 --> 00:11:22,008
No!
178
00:11:22,009 --> 00:11:24,310
Is that Bick?
179
00:11:24,311 --> 00:11:26,379
Which one of you callous,
spineless worms stole The Book?
180
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:28,180
Yo, Bick, what's wrong, man?
181
00:11:28,181 --> 00:11:29,348
What's wrong is,
182
00:11:29,349 --> 00:11:31,283
some cretin at this party
stole The Book.
183
00:11:31,284 --> 00:11:32,284
What book?
184
00:11:32,285 --> 00:11:33,620
Did someone steal
his Bible?
185
00:11:33,621 --> 00:11:36,122
No, not some generic Bible,
you little toga hussy.
186
00:11:36,123 --> 00:11:37,423
My book of cool ideas,
Ralph.
187
00:11:37,424 --> 00:11:39,425
(man)
Hey, geek boy.
188
00:11:39,426 --> 00:11:40,426
Go cry somewhere else,
will ya?
189
00:11:40,427 --> 00:11:41,861
I'm no geek, you knave.
190
00:11:41,862 --> 00:11:43,830
And I'm not shutting up
until I get The Book back.
191
00:11:43,831 --> 00:11:45,698
Have it your way, buzz-kill.
192
00:11:45,699 --> 00:11:47,767
(man)
Oh, check it out.
Fight, fight!
193
00:11:47,768 --> 00:11:48,801
(Ralph)
Come on!
194
00:11:48,802 --> 00:11:51,004
This is my house, man.
195
00:11:51,005 --> 00:11:53,406
Ow!
196
00:11:53,407 --> 00:11:55,408
Ya!
197
00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:57,143
Fucking creep.
198
00:11:57,144 --> 00:11:58,845
What?
199
00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:06,285
[sighs]
200
00:12:06,286 --> 00:12:08,454
Shit.
201
00:12:08,455 --> 00:12:09,722
Help!
202
00:12:09,723 --> 00:12:12,992
Police!
203
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,028
Officers, I've been raped.
204
00:12:15,029 --> 00:12:16,062
(man)
You what?
205
00:12:16,063 --> 00:12:17,830
I've been raped.
206
00:12:17,831 --> 00:12:19,198
Geez.
Where'd it happen?
207
00:12:19,199 --> 00:12:21,568
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
208
00:12:21,569 --> 00:12:23,870
No, no, no, no, not raped
like sexually raped.
209
00:12:23,871 --> 00:12:25,304
Raped like the Earth
has been raped.
210
00:12:25,305 --> 00:12:27,406
My cool ideas,
they're in this book,
211
00:12:27,407 --> 00:12:29,042
a notebook.
212
00:12:29,043 --> 00:12:30,777
Kid, kid, kid--
213
00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:31,844
I live in a basement.
214
00:12:31,845 --> 00:12:34,180
So, what,
you were not raped?
215
00:12:34,181 --> 00:12:36,248
(Ralph)
Hey, hey!
216
00:12:36,249 --> 00:12:38,051
Sorry.
Yeah.
217
00:12:38,052 --> 00:12:39,986
Hail, Caesar.
218
00:12:39,987 --> 00:12:40,987
[laughs]
219
00:12:40,988 --> 00:12:42,088
Toga party, officer.
220
00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:43,456
No shit.
221
00:12:44,592 --> 00:12:45,758
You been drinking tonight, son?
222
00:12:45,759 --> 00:12:48,127
Absolutely not.
No, sir.
223
00:12:50,764 --> 00:12:51,998
Smoke a little weed?
224
00:12:51,999 --> 00:12:53,499
No.
225
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,068
So if I were
to pat you down,
226
00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:56,302
I wouldn't find
any weed on you?
227
00:12:56,303 --> 00:12:57,870
No, sir.
228
00:12:57,871 --> 00:13:00,907
Not even, like,
a small bud?
229
00:13:00,908 --> 00:13:02,441
Nope.
230
00:13:02,442 --> 00:13:03,776
A little roach
or something?
231
00:13:03,777 --> 00:13:06,746
No.
232
00:13:06,747 --> 00:13:08,547
Shit.
Damn.
233
00:13:08,548 --> 00:13:10,182
Hey, we found
your book, man.
234
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:12,118
Oh.
Yeah.
235
00:13:12,119 --> 00:13:13,519
(Bickford)
Where? Who? How?
236
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:14,887
(Ralph)
Some dumb jerk brought it
237
00:13:14,888 --> 00:13:16,656
and read it on the toilet;
I don't know.
238
00:13:16,657 --> 00:13:18,925
Somebody found it there,
like, right after you left.
239
00:13:18,926 --> 00:13:20,259
The toilet?
Yeah.
240
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:21,728
That ignorant scum.
241
00:13:21,729 --> 00:13:23,863
(Ralph)
So thank you, officers.
242
00:13:23,864 --> 00:13:25,464
Seriously, really.
Please, thank you.
243
00:13:25,465 --> 00:13:27,700
But I think
we're okay now.
244
00:13:27,701 --> 00:13:29,135
You're all right,
yeah?
245
00:13:29,136 --> 00:13:30,937
Okay, get him home,
Brutus.
246
00:13:30,938 --> 00:13:35,008
Freaking college kids
with their frickin' books.
247
00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:38,945
It's Saturday night,
for Pete's sake.
248
00:13:38,946 --> 00:13:41,648
[laughs]
249
00:13:41,649 --> 00:13:43,716
Shit.
250
00:13:45,753 --> 00:13:50,890
Ralph, the shattered cosmos
once again align.
251
00:13:50,891 --> 00:13:52,659
You saved my life.
252
00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:54,393
Thank you.
253
00:13:54,394 --> 00:13:55,561
Yeah, Bick, I--
254
00:13:55,562 --> 00:13:58,464
I lied, man.
255
00:13:58,465 --> 00:14:00,299
I mean, I didn't find
your book.
256
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,968
I just--
257
00:14:01,969 --> 00:14:03,369
What do you mean,
you lied?
258
00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:06,673
You lied about the--
you lied lied?
259
00:14:06,674 --> 00:14:07,740
Yeah, Bick, I mean--
260
00:14:07,741 --> 00:14:09,008
You lied about
The Book, Ralph?
261
00:14:09,009 --> 00:14:10,109
You lied about The Book.
262
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,377
I had to, Bick.
263
00:14:11,378 --> 00:14:12,979
We can't have cops
around the house
264
00:14:12,980 --> 00:14:14,213
with that rager.
265
00:14:14,214 --> 00:14:16,683
Everyone's drinking,
drunk, and I mean,
266
00:14:16,684 --> 00:14:17,784
God, even worse.
267
00:14:17,785 --> 00:14:21,620
I mean, seriously,
we could get fined.
268
00:14:21,621 --> 00:14:23,690
Oh.
269
00:14:23,691 --> 00:14:25,992
Are you okay?
270
00:14:25,993 --> 00:14:27,927
Oh, holy shit.
271
00:14:27,928 --> 00:14:30,496
(Dad)
It's not the end
of the worlds, Bick.
272
00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:31,964
Maybe it's a blessing
in disguise.
273
00:14:31,965 --> 00:14:34,834
Maybe this will get you
to stop thinking so much
274
00:14:34,835 --> 00:14:36,969
and get out there and do.
275
00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:38,237
Out there? In there?
276
00:14:38,238 --> 00:14:40,173
It's all the same,
and nobody gets it.
277
00:14:40,174 --> 00:14:43,076
I mean, I talk, and I can
see it in their faces;
278
00:14:43,077 --> 00:14:45,244
people think I'm a lunatic.
279
00:14:45,245 --> 00:14:46,879
At least with The Book, I--
280
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,082
I've had enough
of the same conversation
281
00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:52,284
over and over and over.
282
00:14:52,285 --> 00:14:54,253
I think I just need
to come home.
283
00:14:54,254 --> 00:14:55,722
I don't think I'm ready
for school.
284
00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:59,092
We all agreed--
you, me, the doctor--
285
00:14:59,093 --> 00:15:00,693
that school would be
the best next step.
286
00:15:00,694 --> 00:15:02,895
I know, but that decision
was based on a set of facts
287
00:15:02,896 --> 00:15:06,165
that have changed materially,
Dad, entirely.
288
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:09,202
I mean, I think I just need
to come home
289
00:15:09,203 --> 00:15:10,870
until The Book is finished,
290
00:15:10,871 --> 00:15:12,939
solve the thing,
start from scratch.
291
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:14,573
And I can't do that here,
292
00:15:14,574 --> 00:15:17,676
wallowing in this cesspool
of soon-to-be-Deltas
293
00:15:17,677 --> 00:15:19,078
of the brave new world.
294
00:15:19,079 --> 00:15:24,683
Coming home
won't bring back Mom, Bickford.
295
00:15:24,684 --> 00:15:26,753
beep!
296
00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:33,659
"Every physical structure
in the universe,
297
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:36,562
"including ourselves,
is in a constant state of flux,
298
00:15:36,563 --> 00:15:40,599
"minimally and maximally,
continuously, continuously.
299
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,301
"Yet our lives are lived
300
00:15:42,302 --> 00:15:44,937
"in ever-flowing still frames
of reality,
301
00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:48,207
"sanity being the delusion
of a comfortable continuity
302
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:52,044
within the vortex
of infinite chaos."
303
00:15:52,045 --> 00:15:54,413
"Vortex
of infinite chaos"?
304
00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:56,682
Come on, you've got to admit,
that rules.
305
00:15:56,683 --> 00:15:58,785
I get it.
306
00:15:58,786 --> 00:16:00,486
Well, okay.
307
00:16:00,487 --> 00:16:01,654
Then he goes on to talk
308
00:16:01,655 --> 00:16:03,389
about how we're all
subatomically in flux
309
00:16:03,390 --> 00:16:04,456
and emotionally in flux
310
00:16:04,457 --> 00:16:06,492
and consciously
and mentally in flux.
311
00:16:06,493 --> 00:16:08,761
I mean, even our flux
is in flux.
312
00:16:08,762 --> 00:16:10,196
So what?
313
00:16:10,197 --> 00:16:11,831
It's just that when you put
314
00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:13,833
all these ideas and theories
and facts together
315
00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:15,467
and think about them all
at the same time,
316
00:16:15,468 --> 00:16:18,971
interconnected,
your brain kind of orgasms.
317
00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:20,539
You must be stoned
off your head.
318
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:21,774
No, I am telling you.
319
00:16:21,775 --> 00:16:24,476
This book actually made me feel
these ideas--
320
00:16:24,477 --> 00:16:26,745
I mean, like, tingly in my toes.
321
00:16:26,746 --> 00:16:28,747
'Cause you were on a stoner
safari when you found it.
322
00:16:28,748 --> 00:16:30,482
Like the time you watched
323
00:16:30,483 --> 00:16:31,750
The Seventh Seal stoned
324
00:16:31,751 --> 00:16:33,085
and we didn't do anything
for the next month
325
00:16:33,086 --> 00:16:34,453
but stay in and watch
stupid Swedish movies.
326
00:16:34,454 --> 00:16:37,924
Ingmar Bergman isn't stupid.
327
00:16:37,925 --> 00:16:39,959
Ha!
328
00:16:41,094 --> 00:16:43,562
I should just go
sleep with this guy.
329
00:16:45,632 --> 00:16:48,801
"Copyright Bickford Shmeckler."
330
00:16:48,802 --> 00:16:50,803
What kind
of sick, twistoid parents
331
00:16:50,804 --> 00:16:53,172
would name their kid
Bickford Shmeckler?
332
00:16:53,173 --> 00:16:54,974
I'll ask him.
333
00:16:56,509 --> 00:16:58,077
Okay.
334
00:16:58,078 --> 00:17:00,746
You win; I'll read it.
335
00:17:00,747 --> 00:17:03,149
Shit, I got to get to practice.
336
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:06,252
9:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning?
337
00:17:06,253 --> 00:17:08,487
That is so not rock and roll.
338
00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:10,556
Yeah, well,
we are not rock and roll.
339
00:17:10,557 --> 00:17:12,191
We're adult contemporary.
340
00:17:12,192 --> 00:17:14,593
There's a difference.
341
00:17:14,594 --> 00:17:17,396
So you really think
this book is that good
342
00:17:17,397 --> 00:17:19,398
that you would actually bang
the guy who wrote it?
343
00:17:19,399 --> 00:17:20,399
Yeah.
344
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,334
But I'm a nymphomaniac.
345
00:17:23,270 --> 00:17:24,770
And a klepto.
346
00:17:24,771 --> 00:17:26,705
Hey, quit knocking my hobbies.
347
00:17:26,706 --> 00:17:28,640
You're their prime beneficiary.
348
00:17:28,641 --> 00:17:34,313
[Bickford screaming]
349
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:37,750
Fucking Tarzan wanna-be
motherfucker.
350
00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:41,720
I hope he's not down there
slitting his wrists
351
00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:44,590
or hanging himself,
you know, OD'ing on pills,
352
00:17:44,591 --> 00:17:46,158
something horrible
like that.
353
00:17:46,159 --> 00:17:48,694
Dude, why are you so uptight
about Dickford?
354
00:17:48,695 --> 00:17:50,396
He doesn't even like us.
355
00:17:50,397 --> 00:17:52,331
Yeah, quit being
such a fag.
356
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:53,432
[laughs]
357
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:54,466
Pole smoker.
358
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:55,768
Butt pirate.
359
00:17:55,769 --> 00:17:56,769
Fudge packer.
360
00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:58,170
Ass bandit.
361
00:17:58,171 --> 00:17:59,438
Ha ha.
362
00:17:59,439 --> 00:18:01,407
Jiz guzzler.
363
00:18:01,408 --> 00:18:03,475
Yuck.
364
00:18:03,476 --> 00:18:04,476
Dude,
verbal violation.
365
00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:05,477
Dude, that was all net.
366
00:18:05,478 --> 00:18:06,979
All net, man.
367
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:08,680
(man)
No, you don't throw
"jiz" out like--
368
00:18:08,681 --> 00:18:09,681
Gentlemen.
369
00:18:09,682 --> 00:18:11,918
I found this
most telltale object
370
00:18:11,919 --> 00:18:13,386
adjacent to the location
371
00:18:13,387 --> 00:18:15,721
my Tootsie Pops
formerly occupied.
372
00:18:15,722 --> 00:18:17,390
Huh?
373
00:18:17,391 --> 00:18:19,558
There was
an exceeding bodacious blonde
374
00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:20,893
at the party last night.
375
00:18:20,894 --> 00:18:23,862
She had a wreath-type
flower thing in her hair.
376
00:18:23,863 --> 00:18:25,131
We conversed in the kitchen.
377
00:18:25,132 --> 00:18:28,167
I think she may be it,
the one, the culprit.
378
00:18:28,168 --> 00:18:29,868
That was Sara Witt.
379
00:18:29,869 --> 00:18:31,070
Sara Witt?
380
00:18:31,071 --> 00:18:32,671
She is pretty.
381
00:18:32,672 --> 00:18:34,941
Sara Witt
is a stone-cold fox, bro.
382
00:18:34,942 --> 00:18:36,175
Amen.
383
00:18:36,176 --> 00:18:38,877
And she's all
for free.
384
00:18:38,878 --> 00:18:39,878
All for free?
385
00:18:39,879 --> 00:18:40,947
Yeah, you know.
386
00:18:40,948 --> 00:18:41,981
Alpha Zeta Gi?
387
00:18:41,982 --> 00:18:43,416
It's a sorority.
388
00:18:44,717 --> 00:18:47,019
Down on Washington Street?
389
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:49,188
Alpha Zeta G.
390
00:18:49,189 --> 00:18:53,159
Washington Street.
391
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,228
(.38 Special)
� You see it all around you, �
392
00:18:56,229 --> 00:19:00,266
� good loving gone bad. �
393
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:02,501
� And usually it's too late �
394
00:19:02,502 --> 00:19:07,873
� when you realize
what you had. �
395
00:19:07,874 --> 00:19:11,543
� So hold on loosely, �
396
00:19:11,544 --> 00:19:15,381
� but don't let go. �
397
00:19:15,382 --> 00:19:18,985
� If you cling too tightly, �
398
00:19:18,986 --> 00:19:20,018
� you're gonna... �
399
00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:21,620
I am ten times
more socially relevant
400
00:19:21,621 --> 00:19:23,923
than this geek.
401
00:19:56,055 --> 00:19:57,556
Sara Witt?
402
00:19:58,792 --> 00:20:00,325
Yeah, all right.
403
00:20:00,326 --> 00:20:02,828
I stopped by that sorority
house thing of yours,
404
00:20:02,829 --> 00:20:05,364
and your friends,
"sisters," droogies,
405
00:20:05,365 --> 00:20:07,432
whatever you call them,
told me I could find you here.
406
00:20:07,433 --> 00:20:12,705
Look, I want my book back
now, all right?
407
00:20:14,574 --> 00:20:17,743
You are the girl who stole
my book, are you not?
408
00:20:17,744 --> 00:20:21,614
You're Bickford Shmeckler,
409
00:20:21,615 --> 00:20:24,216
the man with
the metaphorical headache.
410
00:20:26,786 --> 00:20:29,889
And thank you so much.
411
00:20:29,890 --> 00:20:31,289
Oh!
412
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:32,558
For what? For what?
God.
413
00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:33,592
Inspiration.
414
00:20:33,593 --> 00:20:35,360
God, I read your words,
415
00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:37,530
and look what exploded
out of me.
416
00:20:37,531 --> 00:20:40,032
I think this is
my best work ever.
417
00:20:40,033 --> 00:20:43,301
What's the black spot
in the middle mean?
418
00:20:43,302 --> 00:20:45,203
That's my clitoris.
419
00:20:45,204 --> 00:20:46,438
It's a motif.
420
00:20:46,439 --> 00:20:48,574
I always put it somewhere
in each of my paintings.
421
00:20:50,043 --> 00:20:51,243
Do you like it?
422
00:20:51,244 --> 00:20:53,345
Your clitoris?
423
00:20:53,346 --> 00:20:56,582
No, the painting, silly.
424
00:20:56,583 --> 00:21:00,085
It's, uh...
425
00:21:00,086 --> 00:21:03,088
look, Sara, I want
my fucking book back,
426
00:21:03,089 --> 00:21:04,222
all right?
427
00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:05,323
I'm sorry.
428
00:21:05,324 --> 00:21:07,026
I'm just a little
too distracted right now
429
00:21:07,027 --> 00:21:09,428
to do superficial stuff
like look at art.
430
00:21:09,429 --> 00:21:12,330
Mm, well, distraction
is a vibration
431
00:21:12,331 --> 00:21:15,734
felt in the conscious mind,
sent by the subconscious,
432
00:21:15,735 --> 00:21:17,570
begging it
to pay attention.
433
00:21:17,571 --> 00:21:23,341
It is a whisper from
the mother of invention.
434
00:21:23,342 --> 00:21:25,210
That's--
435
00:21:25,211 --> 00:21:28,313
One of your cool ideas?
436
00:21:28,314 --> 00:21:33,752
It's very bizarre
to hear you say that.
437
00:21:38,058 --> 00:21:40,125
Trent.
438
00:21:40,126 --> 00:21:42,728
Meet my new friend,
Bickford.
439
00:21:42,729 --> 00:21:46,264
Craptastic.
440
00:21:46,265 --> 00:21:48,133
(Sara)
How could you throw it away
441
00:21:48,134 --> 00:21:49,935
after how much I told you
it meant to me?
442
00:21:49,936 --> 00:21:50,936
I thought it sucked.
443
00:21:50,937 --> 00:21:52,170
Oh, bullshit.
444
00:21:52,171 --> 00:21:53,438
You're just jealous.
445
00:21:53,439 --> 00:21:55,173
What did you expect
when you told me
446
00:21:55,174 --> 00:21:56,775
you'd fuck the guy
who wrote it?
447
00:21:56,776 --> 00:21:58,777
Fuck?
I didn't say it
like that.
448
00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:00,980
(Trent)
Yeah, you did,
as a matter of fact.
449
00:22:00,981 --> 00:22:02,848
"Ooh, ooh, his words
are so orgasmic.
450
00:22:02,849 --> 00:22:03,983
My toes
are just tingling."
451
00:22:03,984 --> 00:22:05,618
Excuse him;
he's an asshole.
452
00:22:05,619 --> 00:22:06,619
Hey, asshole man!
453
00:22:06,620 --> 00:22:08,153
It's not here.
454
00:22:08,154 --> 00:22:09,655
You positive
this is the right can?
455
00:22:09,656 --> 00:22:11,289
Yeah, that's it.
456
00:22:11,290 --> 00:22:12,290
Then where's The Book?
457
00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:13,391
Hey,
I already apologized,
458
00:22:13,392 --> 00:22:14,960
like, a billion times.
459
00:22:14,961 --> 00:22:16,095
What do you want?
460
00:22:16,096 --> 00:22:17,429
Justice!
Come here.
461
00:22:17,430 --> 00:22:18,430
Whoa, whoa, hey.
462
00:22:18,431 --> 00:22:19,498
Just--wait.
Hold on, man.
463
00:22:19,499 --> 00:22:21,967
Look, look, I got
200 bucks, okay?
464
00:22:21,968 --> 00:22:24,202
Oh, Trent,
don't go there.
465
00:22:24,203 --> 00:22:26,538
That's mine?
466
00:22:26,539 --> 00:22:27,606
Take it.
467
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:29,174
Just, you know,
buy another notebook
468
00:22:29,175 --> 00:22:31,543
or diary or whatever
and rewrite it.
469
00:22:32,612 --> 00:22:34,046
Whoa, Bick.
470
00:22:34,047 --> 00:22:36,615
Bick, hey, just--
wait.
471
00:22:36,616 --> 00:22:38,651
Ooh!
472
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:45,124
This isn't about money,
you smug, pretentious lemming.
473
00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:46,925
[grunting]
474
00:22:46,926 --> 00:22:48,293
Come on, Bick.
475
00:22:48,294 --> 00:22:50,062
I didn't know he was going
to throw it away.
476
00:22:50,063 --> 00:22:51,697
It's not even really
my fault.
477
00:22:51,698 --> 00:22:52,765
Let me make it up to you.
478
00:22:52,766 --> 00:22:54,900
Make it up to me?
How?
479
00:22:54,901 --> 00:22:56,769
You've destroyed my life.
480
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,837
You can't make it up to me.
481
00:22:58,838 --> 00:23:01,339
The Book is gone.
482
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:02,474
It's gone!
483
00:23:02,475 --> 00:23:04,309
Gone!
484
00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:08,981
(Autamata)
� I'm going back
where I come from. �
485
00:23:08,982 --> 00:23:13,418
� I'm going back
where I come from. �
486
00:23:13,419 --> 00:23:17,923
� I'm going back
to Jive County. �
487
00:23:17,924 --> 00:23:21,293
� I'm going back
to Jive County. �
488
00:23:21,294 --> 00:23:26,431
[phone ringing]
489
00:23:28,501 --> 00:23:29,668
Hello?
490
00:23:29,669 --> 00:23:31,036
(Bickford)
Ralph?
491
00:23:31,037 --> 00:23:32,971
Hey, Bick.
492
00:23:32,972 --> 00:23:35,307
Where are you?
Out partying?
493
00:23:35,308 --> 00:23:37,876
I'm in the basement.
494
00:23:37,877 --> 00:23:39,178
That's 30 feet away.
495
00:23:39,179 --> 00:23:41,680
Why--why are you calling me?
496
00:23:41,681 --> 00:23:44,216
I just didn't feel
like the hike is all.
497
00:23:44,217 --> 00:23:46,819
I just want to express
my gratitude, Ralph.
498
00:23:46,820 --> 00:23:48,887
Hmm? For what?
499
00:23:48,888 --> 00:23:51,023
I know you don't know me.
500
00:23:51,024 --> 00:23:52,758
I've only been here
a couple weeks.
501
00:23:52,759 --> 00:23:55,627
But I--I appreciate
the honest attempt you've made
502
00:23:55,628 --> 00:23:56,929
to be kind to me.
503
00:23:59,132 --> 00:24:00,999
But...
504
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,168
I'm going away...
505
00:24:03,169 --> 00:24:05,170
for good.
506
00:24:05,171 --> 00:24:07,840
What do you mean,
"for good," Bick?
507
00:24:07,841 --> 00:24:10,743
I was almost finished,
508
00:24:10,744 --> 00:24:15,247
just looking for a way
to tie it all together.
509
00:24:15,248 --> 00:24:16,314
[sighs]
510
00:24:16,315 --> 00:24:17,349
A summation,
511
00:24:17,350 --> 00:24:20,152
a final chapter, an end.
512
00:24:20,153 --> 00:24:23,288
But now I just--I feel
513
00:24:23,289 --> 00:24:25,724
like I'm trapped
in a Moebius strip.
514
00:24:25,725 --> 00:24:28,627
What's a Moebius strip, Bick?
515
00:24:28,628 --> 00:24:31,964
An infinite looping
figure eight, Ralph.
516
00:24:31,965 --> 00:24:34,133
Doomed to repeat
the same things
517
00:24:34,134 --> 00:24:38,603
over and over throughout time
indefinitely.
518
00:24:38,604 --> 00:24:42,674
It's cool, actually, if you--
519
00:24:42,675 --> 00:24:44,643
never mind.
520
00:24:44,644 --> 00:24:47,780
I'm going away, Ralph.
521
00:24:47,781 --> 00:24:50,415
I'm gone.
522
00:24:50,416 --> 00:24:52,484
So long, pal.
523
00:24:52,485 --> 00:24:54,119
Bick, hey--
[dial tone]
524
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,555
Bick. Bick.
525
00:25:17,710 --> 00:25:20,712
[doorbell rings]
526
00:25:21,981 --> 00:25:23,515
[knocking]
527
00:25:23,516 --> 00:25:25,750
One second!
528
00:25:33,226 --> 00:25:35,827
Are you
Bickford Shmeckler?
529
00:25:35,828 --> 00:25:39,097
I'd like to speak
to Sheldon Shmeckler, please.
530
00:25:39,098 --> 00:25:40,765
(woman)
Who may I tell him
who's calling?
531
00:25:40,766 --> 00:25:42,100
His son.
532
00:25:42,101 --> 00:25:43,735
[knocking at door]
533
00:25:43,736 --> 00:25:47,472
(Ralph)
Hey, Bick, someone's here
to see you.
534
00:25:47,473 --> 00:25:49,974
He says he knows
about The Book.
535
00:25:49,975 --> 00:25:51,677
(Dad)
Hello, Bickford.
536
00:25:51,678 --> 00:25:52,711
Bickford?
537
00:25:52,712 --> 00:25:54,379
Bickford, hello?
538
00:25:54,380 --> 00:25:55,414
(Ralph)
Come on, Bick.
539
00:25:55,415 --> 00:25:57,616
Uh...
540
00:25:57,617 --> 00:25:59,818
(Ralph)
His name's Spaceman.
541
00:25:59,819 --> 00:26:01,687
He's a homeless guy
who hangs out in the quad
542
00:26:01,688 --> 00:26:03,322
and begs for quarters.
543
00:26:03,323 --> 00:26:05,224
Everyone knows him.
544
00:26:05,225 --> 00:26:07,826
He's a great Frisbee player.
545
00:26:07,827 --> 00:26:09,561
Thank you.
546
00:26:09,562 --> 00:26:11,730
We're Frisbee
communicators.
547
00:26:11,731 --> 00:26:13,665
Right, and you have The Book?
548
00:26:13,666 --> 00:26:15,667
Just--
549
00:26:21,507 --> 00:26:24,476
What's this?
550
00:26:24,477 --> 00:26:26,911
You ripped out
the first page?
551
00:26:26,912 --> 00:26:28,813
Help us.
552
00:26:28,814 --> 00:26:31,082
Help us,
Bickford Shmeckler.
553
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:33,685
Only you could understand
554
00:26:33,686 --> 00:26:36,121
an extradimensional ship
crashed
555
00:26:36,122 --> 00:26:37,556
into our temporal lobes,
556
00:26:37,557 --> 00:26:39,023
co-opting our sight,
557
00:26:39,024 --> 00:26:41,092
sound perception,
558
00:26:41,093 --> 00:26:43,895
our motor skills,
our most basic fundaments.
559
00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:46,064
They give us
560
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:49,134
horrible, horrible migraines.
561
00:26:49,135 --> 00:26:51,870
He sounds a bit
like you.
562
00:26:51,871 --> 00:26:55,240
He's a severely delusional
schizophrenic, Ralph.
563
00:26:55,241 --> 00:26:57,108
He is?
How do you know that?
564
00:26:59,712 --> 00:27:00,746
Listen,
565
00:27:00,747 --> 00:27:02,614
Spaceman.
566
00:27:02,615 --> 00:27:03,982
If you have my book,
I want it back.
567
00:27:03,983 --> 00:27:05,284
After.
568
00:27:05,285 --> 00:27:06,785
First.
569
00:27:09,455 --> 00:27:11,623
Listen.
570
00:27:11,624 --> 00:27:15,059
[radio static]
571
00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:16,094
That's free digital
572
00:27:16,095 --> 00:27:17,929
acoustic waves.
573
00:27:17,930 --> 00:27:20,265
Is that some funky shit
or what?
574
00:27:20,266 --> 00:27:23,468
I'm lost, man.
575
00:27:23,469 --> 00:27:24,803
(Spaceman)
Bickford Shmeckler,
576
00:27:24,804 --> 00:27:27,472
science and reason.
577
00:27:27,473 --> 00:27:28,707
You understand.
578
00:27:28,708 --> 00:27:35,314
To the stars
we'll go.
579
00:27:35,315 --> 00:27:37,048
They'll go.
580
00:27:37,049 --> 00:27:39,951
Home.
581
00:27:39,952 --> 00:27:42,521
I believe this deranged person
wants me
582
00:27:42,522 --> 00:27:44,055
to get aliens out
of his head.
583
00:27:44,056 --> 00:27:45,223
That's it!
584
00:27:45,224 --> 00:27:47,626
With your help,
I can expurgate
585
00:27:47,627 --> 00:27:49,093
these extradimensionals.
586
00:27:49,094 --> 00:27:50,329
Who?
587
00:27:50,330 --> 00:27:52,564
The aliens in his head
are extradimensionals.
588
00:27:52,565 --> 00:27:54,766
Oh, no, no, okay.
589
00:27:54,767 --> 00:27:58,570
Spaceman, uh,
590
00:27:58,571 --> 00:28:00,905
just give me The Book back.
591
00:28:00,906 --> 00:28:02,507
Then I'll
help you.
No.
592
00:28:02,508 --> 00:28:04,643
Fine, no help,
593
00:28:04,644 --> 00:28:06,945
and you're going to give me
The Book back anyway.
594
00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:08,513
Help us,
or we'll burn it.
595
00:28:08,514 --> 00:28:09,948
You wouldn't dare.
596
00:28:09,949 --> 00:28:11,216
Try us.
597
00:28:11,217 --> 00:28:12,283
You wouldn't like us.
598
00:28:12,284 --> 00:28:13,452
I'll call the police.
599
00:28:13,453 --> 00:28:15,053
That won't save The Book.
600
00:28:17,289 --> 00:28:18,957
God!
601
00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:20,925
I'd say
it's schizo's ball game.
602
00:28:22,962 --> 00:28:25,964
[faint rock music]
603
00:28:25,965 --> 00:28:33,505
� �
604
00:28:34,574 --> 00:28:35,774
Rob.
Wait, Rob.
605
00:28:35,775 --> 00:28:38,176
Let's--let's--
let's talk.
606
00:28:38,177 --> 00:28:40,479
Let's share some thoughts.
607
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,980
You mean, like, talk talk?
608
00:28:41,981 --> 00:28:43,047
Yeah, yeah.
609
00:28:43,048 --> 00:28:44,182
Blow my mind.
610
00:28:44,183 --> 00:28:45,216
Okay, cool.
611
00:28:45,217 --> 00:28:47,552
I can do that.
612
00:28:47,553 --> 00:28:51,022
Sara, you're so sexy.
613
00:28:51,023 --> 00:28:53,925
You're on.
614
00:28:53,926 --> 00:28:57,529
You're fuckably
fuckalicious.
615
00:28:57,530 --> 00:29:00,866
You got me hot as fuck.
616
00:29:00,867 --> 00:29:03,001
You like talking dirty,
don't you?
617
00:29:03,002 --> 00:29:04,436
Oh, sweet tits.
618
00:29:04,437 --> 00:29:06,772
No, no, no,
Rob, no.
619
00:29:06,773 --> 00:29:09,841
Talk, I mean,
like a conversation.
620
00:29:09,842 --> 00:29:12,377
I'll still be sexy later;
I promise.
621
00:29:12,378 --> 00:29:15,046
I thought you said
you and Trent broke up.
622
00:29:15,047 --> 00:29:16,882
Yeah.
623
00:29:16,883 --> 00:29:18,517
Yeah, I--
624
00:29:18,518 --> 00:29:21,620
Rob, I--this doesn't
feel right anymore.
625
00:29:21,621 --> 00:29:22,888
I can't do this.
626
00:29:22,889 --> 00:29:24,890
Sara, you're the one
who wanted to make out
627
00:29:24,891 --> 00:29:26,124
in the first place.
628
00:29:26,125 --> 00:29:28,326
You seduced me.
629
00:29:28,327 --> 00:29:29,494
Yeah.
630
00:29:29,495 --> 00:29:31,963
Yeah, I guess I did.
631
00:29:31,964 --> 00:29:33,498
I just--
632
00:29:33,499 --> 00:29:36,000
I guess it's 'cause
you're kind of hunky,
633
00:29:36,001 --> 00:29:38,537
and I thought
this would be fun, but--
634
00:29:38,538 --> 00:29:40,939
But what?
635
00:29:40,940 --> 00:29:42,607
You're not fun.
636
00:29:42,608 --> 00:29:45,276
I'm not fun?
637
00:29:45,277 --> 00:29:48,046
No, no,
not at all.
638
00:29:48,047 --> 00:29:49,080
What do you mean?
639
00:29:49,081 --> 00:29:52,016
Like, my technique?
640
00:29:52,017 --> 00:29:55,454
Yeah, that,
and also you're just--
641
00:29:55,455 --> 00:30:00,692
you make my skin crawl
just being you.
642
00:30:03,596 --> 00:30:06,364
That's devastating.
643
00:30:06,365 --> 00:30:07,566
Yeah.
644
00:30:07,567 --> 00:30:11,937
Well, sorry.
645
00:30:15,207 --> 00:30:16,641
(Bickford)
Spaceman, regardless
646
00:30:16,642 --> 00:30:19,611
of how I help you interpret
this random collection
647
00:30:19,612 --> 00:30:23,147
of scientific
gobbledygook--
648
00:30:23,148 --> 00:30:24,182
Gobbledygook.
649
00:30:24,183 --> 00:30:26,485
Yeah, regardless
of what we do--
650
00:30:26,486 --> 00:30:28,353
build a rocket ship,
a time machine,
651
00:30:28,354 --> 00:30:30,922
an atomic plasma-powered
slingshot--
652
00:30:30,923 --> 00:30:33,758
Good. That's good,
atomic plasma--
653
00:30:33,759 --> 00:30:34,960
that's excellent.
654
00:30:34,961 --> 00:30:36,294
All right, whatever.
655
00:30:36,295 --> 00:30:37,662
Those aliens are never going
to leave your head,
656
00:30:37,663 --> 00:30:41,633
because you're sick
mentally.
657
00:30:41,634 --> 00:30:43,768
All right?
658
00:30:43,769 --> 00:30:44,970
You need medication.
659
00:30:44,971 --> 00:30:45,971
Do you mean drugs?
660
00:30:45,972 --> 00:30:49,841
Yes, powerful
psychiatric drugs.
661
00:30:49,842 --> 00:30:52,176
Have you ever tried them?
662
00:30:52,177 --> 00:30:54,746
Peridol, Zolam, lithium,
663
00:30:54,747 --> 00:30:56,581
LSD, peyote.
664
00:30:56,582 --> 00:30:57,716
Pretty girl.
665
00:30:57,717 --> 00:30:59,250
Pretty girl in a doily
right behind you.
666
00:31:02,087 --> 00:31:03,855
You.
667
00:31:03,856 --> 00:31:04,856
Bick.
668
00:31:04,857 --> 00:31:05,957
[clears throat]
669
00:31:05,958 --> 00:31:08,459
Contrary to what you
obviously believe,
670
00:31:08,460 --> 00:31:09,828
I am not void of emotions.
671
00:31:09,829 --> 00:31:12,196
I've been feeling
like crap
672
00:31:12,197 --> 00:31:13,899
for days.
673
00:31:13,900 --> 00:31:18,202
And Ralph told me
about The Book and Spaceman
674
00:31:18,203 --> 00:31:19,704
and this whole--
675
00:31:19,705 --> 00:31:20,772
Expedition.
676
00:31:20,773 --> 00:31:22,373
It's--this is
an expedition.
677
00:31:22,374 --> 00:31:24,609
Right.
678
00:31:24,610 --> 00:31:28,613
So I just want you to know
that I--
679
00:31:28,614 --> 00:31:32,017
I can't express
how sorry I am,
680
00:31:32,018 --> 00:31:33,418
not with words.
681
00:31:35,721 --> 00:31:38,423
Draw us a diagram.
682
00:31:38,424 --> 00:31:39,758
[sighs]
683
00:31:39,759 --> 00:31:41,392
I'm involved
in a Herculean struggle
684
00:31:41,393 --> 00:31:42,727
for sanity here, Sara.
685
00:31:42,728 --> 00:31:47,398
I don't have time to deal
with your pithy...pith.
686
00:31:47,399 --> 00:31:52,103
Quit punishing yourself
for being a virgin.
687
00:31:52,104 --> 00:31:53,805
It's the human condition.
688
00:31:53,806 --> 00:31:54,839
We were all born virgins,
689
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,975
and maybe you're just
a late bloomer.
690
00:31:56,976 --> 00:31:58,476
I was too, you know.
691
00:31:58,477 --> 00:32:00,378
So that's my problem now,
lack of sex?
692
00:32:00,379 --> 00:32:01,412
That's it?
Great.
693
00:32:01,413 --> 00:32:03,014
Great.
694
00:32:03,015 --> 00:32:05,149
Thank you so much,
Dr. Klepto.
695
00:32:05,150 --> 00:32:06,384
(Spaceman)
That's his problem,
696
00:32:06,385 --> 00:32:07,752
definitely, sex.
697
00:32:07,753 --> 00:32:09,253
Who asked you?
698
00:32:09,254 --> 00:32:11,489
(man)
Bob, you dickfor.
699
00:32:11,490 --> 00:32:13,859
It took me 20 minutes
to set that dungeon.
700
00:32:13,860 --> 00:32:16,728
You guys are not going
to believe this.
701
00:32:16,729 --> 00:32:17,796
You know Spaceman?
702
00:32:17,797 --> 00:32:19,531
Yeah, that dude who hangs out
in the dyad?
703
00:32:19,532 --> 00:32:20,565
Talks
to aliens.
704
00:32:20,566 --> 00:32:21,566
Plays Frisbee.
705
00:32:21,567 --> 00:32:22,934
Yes, him. Okay.
706
00:32:22,935 --> 00:32:25,103
He comes by the shack sometimes
when I'm working, okay?
707
00:32:25,104 --> 00:32:26,605
I give him, you know,
broken stuff
708
00:32:26,606 --> 00:32:28,339
like keyboards,
remote controls.
709
00:32:28,340 --> 00:32:30,041
Anyway, he knows me,
710
00:32:30,042 --> 00:32:31,810
and he trusts me, right?
711
00:32:31,811 --> 00:32:33,445
(Doug)
Bob, we're mid-battle
712
00:32:33,446 --> 00:32:35,614
with a lich, two Medusa,
713
00:32:35,615 --> 00:32:36,848
and 40 skeleton warriors.
714
00:32:36,849 --> 00:32:38,082
31 skeletons.
715
00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:40,285
My sorceress destroyed nine
with a fireball spell.
716
00:32:40,286 --> 00:32:41,319
Listen to me.
717
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,054
Yesterday Spaceman comes
into the shack
718
00:32:43,055 --> 00:32:44,088
with this book.
719
00:32:44,089 --> 00:32:45,223
He says he wants me
to hold on to it
720
00:32:45,224 --> 00:32:46,658
for safekeeping,
that people are after him.
721
00:32:46,659 --> 00:32:47,726
You know, he'll come back
for it.
722
00:32:47,727 --> 00:32:49,260
I ask him
723
00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:50,529
if it's his diary.
724
00:32:50,530 --> 00:32:52,196
He says, no, he found it
in a garbage can,
725
00:32:52,197 --> 00:32:53,532
doesn't want to have it
on him
726
00:32:53,533 --> 00:32:55,467
in case Interpol comes
and shakes him down, right?
727
00:32:57,437 --> 00:33:03,608
I had to have a peek.
728
00:33:03,609 --> 00:33:05,510
It's unbelievable.
729
00:33:05,511 --> 00:33:07,612
It's brain-melting, poetic--
730
00:33:07,613 --> 00:33:11,082
it is the Communist Manifesto
of cool ideas.
731
00:33:11,083 --> 00:33:13,552
And, therefore, what?
732
00:33:13,553 --> 00:33:15,887
I'm quitting the game.
733
00:33:15,888 --> 00:33:17,221
(Doug)
Quitting?
734
00:33:17,222 --> 00:33:18,957
Why?
735
00:33:18,958 --> 00:33:19,958
For good?
736
00:33:19,959 --> 00:33:21,493
For the foreseeable future.
737
00:33:21,494 --> 00:33:23,829
You know,
after reading The Book,
738
00:33:23,830 --> 00:33:26,230
Dungeons & Dragons
just seems
739
00:33:26,231 --> 00:33:28,366
like a bunch of people,
you know,
740
00:33:28,367 --> 00:33:30,435
taking on imaginary roles.
741
00:33:31,504 --> 00:33:32,904
That's what it is.
742
00:33:32,905 --> 00:33:34,072
(Bob)
Yeah.
743
00:33:34,073 --> 00:33:36,908
But The Book,
it makes life seem
744
00:33:36,909 --> 00:33:39,277
more interesting than D&D.
745
00:33:39,278 --> 00:33:40,846
[people arguing]
746
00:33:40,847 --> 00:33:42,046
You can't quit.
747
00:33:42,047 --> 00:33:43,515
Without your elfin
rogue-illusionist,
748
00:33:43,516 --> 00:33:45,517
we're never going to make it
to the next level.
749
00:33:45,518 --> 00:33:48,353
You're--he's carrying the Wand
of the Crimson Magi.
750
00:33:48,354 --> 00:33:50,088
If you're out,
I'm stealing that wand.
751
00:33:50,089 --> 00:33:51,656
(woman)
You cannot grave rob.
752
00:33:51,657 --> 00:33:53,658
Yes, he can.
He's chaotic neutral.
753
00:33:53,659 --> 00:33:55,126
(Bob)
Read The Book, people.
754
00:33:55,127 --> 00:33:58,429
If you don't agree that it is
a veritable classic that,
755
00:33:58,430 --> 00:34:00,465
but for the grace of God,
whose existence
756
00:34:00,466 --> 00:34:02,166
The Book debates
rather interestingly,
757
00:34:02,167 --> 00:34:05,770
was saved from oblivion
by Spaceman picking garbage,
758
00:34:05,771 --> 00:34:07,939
I will--I will...
759
00:34:07,940 --> 00:34:12,410
I'll buy you, each one of you,
a ticket
760
00:34:12,411 --> 00:34:14,846
for next week's
Buffy and Xena convention.
761
00:34:14,847 --> 00:34:16,581
I'm reading
The Book.
762
00:34:16,582 --> 00:34:17,983
Dibs on Buffy.
763
00:34:17,984 --> 00:34:19,017
Xena.
764
00:34:19,018 --> 00:34:20,018
I'll get both of them.
765
00:34:20,019 --> 00:34:21,219
Let's do it.
You totally wish.
766
00:34:21,220 --> 00:34:22,787
Just read The Book.
767
00:34:24,289 --> 00:34:28,860
(Bickford)
The Moon is 238,857 miles
from Earth.
768
00:34:28,861 --> 00:34:30,629
With the right lens,
769
00:34:30,630 --> 00:34:32,964
it looks like you could
just reach out and touch it.
770
00:34:34,734 --> 00:34:35,934
What I want you to do
771
00:34:35,935 --> 00:34:38,570
is turn
that telescopic view
772
00:34:38,571 --> 00:34:40,839
inside your mind.
773
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,675
I want you to get a good beat
on those aliens.
774
00:34:43,676 --> 00:34:45,476
I want you to see them
775
00:34:45,477 --> 00:34:49,748
and that extradimensional
spaceship of theirs.
776
00:34:49,749 --> 00:34:52,450
I want--I want you
to reach in
777
00:34:52,451 --> 00:34:54,352
and flick them.
778
00:34:54,353 --> 00:34:55,921
You can't just flick
a spaceship.
779
00:34:55,922 --> 00:34:57,422
It's too heavy.
780
00:34:57,423 --> 00:34:59,323
And the trajection
wouldn't even be accurate.
781
00:34:59,324 --> 00:35:03,628
The theory of metalunar
clairvoyant projection is bunk.
782
00:35:05,631 --> 00:35:09,167
Spaceman, I have been
ueberpatient with you,
783
00:35:09,168 --> 00:35:10,334
all right?
784
00:35:10,335 --> 00:35:13,905
But I've had it.
785
00:35:13,906 --> 00:35:14,940
I've had it!
786
00:35:14,941 --> 00:35:17,508
Had it, had it, had it,
had it, all right?
787
00:35:17,509 --> 00:35:20,845
And I've come to a decision
that as far as I can see
788
00:35:20,846 --> 00:35:23,715
is the only cogent way out
of this predicament for me.
789
00:35:23,716 --> 00:35:24,950
I want my book
returned now,
790
00:35:24,951 --> 00:35:26,551
or I will kill you.
791
00:35:26,552 --> 00:35:27,752
Do you understand that?
792
00:35:27,753 --> 00:35:30,521
Even your strange brain
can surely access
793
00:35:30,522 --> 00:35:32,724
the instinct
of self-preservation, man.
794
00:35:32,725 --> 00:35:35,359
Use it.
795
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,829
If I give you your book back,
you'll abandon us,
796
00:35:37,830 --> 00:35:40,131
like everyone else
has abandoned us.
797
00:35:40,132 --> 00:35:41,532
Fine! Fine!
798
00:35:41,533 --> 00:35:42,533
Fine, fine!
799
00:35:42,534 --> 00:35:43,802
All right, that's fine.
800
00:35:43,803 --> 00:35:45,203
That's okay.
801
00:35:45,204 --> 00:35:47,171
That's that, then.
802
00:35:47,172 --> 00:35:48,907
The next time you see me,
803
00:35:48,908 --> 00:35:51,309
I'll be stabbing you to death,
all right?
804
00:35:51,310 --> 00:35:53,177
All of you.
805
00:35:55,781 --> 00:35:58,116
[over bullhorn]
Bickford Shmeckler,
we need your help.
806
00:35:58,117 --> 00:35:59,183
You have to help us!
807
00:35:59,184 --> 00:36:00,652
Please don't leave us, Bickford!
808
00:36:00,653 --> 00:36:02,553
(Bob)
Tired of thinking
809
00:36:02,554 --> 00:36:04,990
the same old shit?
810
00:36:04,991 --> 00:36:06,057
Read The Book.
811
00:36:06,058 --> 00:36:08,593
Are you looking
for a new adventure?
812
00:36:08,594 --> 00:36:09,894
Read The Book.
813
00:36:09,895 --> 00:36:12,764
Look your mind's eye
right in the face.
814
00:36:12,765 --> 00:36:13,965
Get inspired.
815
00:36:13,966 --> 00:36:15,500
It's free.
816
00:36:15,501 --> 00:36:17,636
Tired of the same old shit?
817
00:36:17,637 --> 00:36:18,970
Take a copy, comrade.
818
00:36:18,971 --> 00:36:21,072
The revolution begins
in your imagination.
819
00:36:21,073 --> 00:36:23,775
You don't say.
820
00:36:23,776 --> 00:36:25,376
I do.
821
00:36:25,377 --> 00:36:26,544
Get inspired.
822
00:36:26,545 --> 00:36:29,014
Are you looking
for a new adventure?
823
00:36:29,015 --> 00:36:31,516
Are you tired of thinking
the same old shit?
824
00:36:31,517 --> 00:36:34,853
Oh, take a copy, brother.
825
00:36:34,854 --> 00:36:37,155
Oh, you look a lost soul
who could use it.
826
00:36:37,156 --> 00:36:38,523
I'm busy. Move.
827
00:36:38,524 --> 00:36:40,091
Take a copy.
It's free.
828
00:36:40,092 --> 00:36:42,694
It tickles
the frontal lobe.
829
00:36:42,695 --> 00:36:43,695
Dude, dude.
830
00:36:43,696 --> 00:36:44,796
Damn it.
831
00:36:44,797 --> 00:36:45,830
Dude!
832
00:36:45,831 --> 00:36:46,898
The world doesn't need
833
00:36:46,899 --> 00:36:49,000
any more self-important
student poets.
834
00:36:49,001 --> 00:36:53,071
Ha ha, that's fucking--
cock.
835
00:36:53,072 --> 00:36:55,606
Ah, I don't know.
836
00:36:55,607 --> 00:36:56,708
You were strong.
837
00:36:56,709 --> 00:36:57,709
Yeah.
838
00:36:57,710 --> 00:37:00,178
Good one.
Good one.
839
00:37:00,179 --> 00:37:03,548
Watch this special move.
840
00:37:03,549 --> 00:37:04,849
crash!
841
00:37:04,850 --> 00:37:06,551
(Bickford)
What's that doing there, P.J.?
842
00:37:06,552 --> 00:37:09,821
Jesus Christ,
clean your shit up.
843
00:37:09,822 --> 00:37:13,692
[clattering]
844
00:37:17,697 --> 00:37:20,999
Where are
the butcher knives?
845
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,400
I don't think
we have any.
846
00:37:22,401 --> 00:37:23,968
[Bickford screams]
847
00:37:23,969 --> 00:37:26,104
There's some steak knives
in the drawer.
848
00:37:26,105 --> 00:37:28,606
Steak knives
are too small!
849
00:37:34,479 --> 00:37:35,914
[triumphantly]
Ha!
850
00:37:35,915 --> 00:37:37,215
This is perfect,
it's fearsome.
851
00:37:37,216 --> 00:37:38,216
Wait, wait, wait.
852
00:37:38,217 --> 00:37:40,685
Bick, you're not thinking of--
853
00:37:40,686 --> 00:37:42,253
what are you thinking?
854
00:37:42,254 --> 00:37:43,955
You wouldn't know it
to look at me, Ralph,
855
00:37:43,956 --> 00:37:46,324
but I'm a murderer,
a cold-blooded axman.
856
00:37:46,325 --> 00:37:48,159
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
857
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:49,828
If Spaceman doesn't
give me The Book back,
858
00:37:49,829 --> 00:37:50,829
I swear to God--
859
00:37:50,830 --> 00:37:51,863
Okay, whoa, whoa, Bick!
860
00:37:51,864 --> 00:37:53,664
Bick, whoa!
861
00:37:53,665 --> 00:37:55,734
Slow, slow.
862
00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:58,069
Do the math,
all right?
863
00:37:58,070 --> 00:37:59,070
Now--
864
00:37:59,071 --> 00:38:00,271
Ha!
865
00:38:00,272 --> 00:38:04,008
You threaten Spaceman
with that turkey fork, right?
866
00:38:04,009 --> 00:38:06,745
You ask him for The Book,
and he refuses.
867
00:38:06,746 --> 00:38:09,881
And he will refuse,
because he's deranged.
868
00:38:09,882 --> 00:38:11,182
What then?
869
00:38:11,183 --> 00:38:14,352
Then he gets
a free tracheotomy.
870
00:38:14,353 --> 00:38:15,419
And The Book?
What about The Book?
871
00:38:15,420 --> 00:38:16,554
What about The Book?
872
00:38:16,555 --> 00:38:19,891
He's the only person
who knows where it is.
873
00:38:19,892 --> 00:38:22,060
You'll never find it again.
874
00:38:22,061 --> 00:38:24,428
And you'll go to jail.
875
00:38:25,831 --> 00:38:27,766
It's a credible threat,
Ralph.
876
00:38:27,767 --> 00:38:30,268
Mutual assured
destruction.
877
00:38:30,269 --> 00:38:32,003
If it helped to stop
a nuclear war
878
00:38:32,004 --> 00:38:33,204
with the Soviet Union,
879
00:38:33,205 --> 00:38:37,541
surely Spaceman's going
to understand that--
880
00:38:39,378 --> 00:38:42,046
Spaceman isn't going
to understand shit.
881
00:38:42,047 --> 00:38:44,983
No, he won't.
882
00:38:47,787 --> 00:38:50,922
Goddamn tyranny of logic.
883
00:38:58,630 --> 00:39:00,464
[doorbell rings]
884
00:39:02,001 --> 00:39:03,467
Hello.
Hello.
885
00:39:03,468 --> 00:39:04,669
Hi.
886
00:39:04,670 --> 00:39:07,138
I'm Trent Masterton
to see Sara Witt.
887
00:39:07,139 --> 00:39:09,040
Hmm.
You're Trent.
888
00:39:09,041 --> 00:39:10,241
The poser boyfriend.
889
00:39:10,242 --> 00:39:12,343
She called me a poser?
890
00:39:12,344 --> 00:39:13,377
Among other things.
891
00:39:13,378 --> 00:39:14,679
Also a four-letter word
for...
892
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,614
[together]
Penis.
893
00:39:16,615 --> 00:39:17,916
Okay, all right.
894
00:39:17,917 --> 00:39:19,284
Is Sara in or not?
895
00:39:19,285 --> 00:39:20,952
[together]
Maybe.
896
00:39:20,953 --> 00:39:23,454
Okay, well, could you at least
make sure she gets this?
897
00:39:23,455 --> 00:39:24,455
Please?
898
00:39:24,456 --> 00:39:25,523
What's in it?
899
00:39:25,524 --> 00:39:26,858
None of your beeswax.
900
00:39:26,859 --> 00:39:28,226
Is it expensive?
901
00:39:28,227 --> 00:39:29,460
Looks good.
Let me see.
902
00:39:29,461 --> 00:39:32,430
Hey, can you give the box
to Sara, please?
903
00:39:32,431 --> 00:39:33,764
Sure.
904
00:39:33,765 --> 00:39:34,833
We'll get it
to her.
905
00:39:34,834 --> 00:39:36,667
Take care.
Bye-bye.
906
00:39:36,668 --> 00:39:38,602
Hey!
907
00:39:38,603 --> 00:39:41,639
She better get that gift!
908
00:39:59,925 --> 00:40:03,228
Did you know that the Sun
is going to implode
909
00:40:03,229 --> 00:40:05,997
and take out
the entire solar system
910
00:40:05,998 --> 00:40:07,698
and all of humanity with it?
911
00:40:07,699 --> 00:40:10,902
Ideas like that
make me feel sexy.
912
00:40:10,903 --> 00:40:13,404
Then you gotta read this book.
913
00:40:13,405 --> 00:40:16,407
[lively acoustic guitar music]
914
00:40:16,408 --> 00:40:21,612
� �
915
00:40:21,613 --> 00:40:24,215
[beeping]
916
00:40:24,216 --> 00:40:32,156
� �
917
00:40:40,065 --> 00:40:42,400
[clears throat]
Excuse me.
918
00:40:42,401 --> 00:40:44,435
Does one use a withdrawal,
919
00:40:44,436 --> 00:40:46,304
a deferment,
or an incomplete form
920
00:40:46,305 --> 00:40:47,738
if one is flipping out
921
00:40:47,739 --> 00:40:50,441
and one needs some time
to get one's head together
922
00:40:50,442 --> 00:40:52,410
and one doesn't want
to stick his dad
923
00:40:52,411 --> 00:40:54,913
with a useless tuition bill?
924
00:40:54,914 --> 00:40:56,547
You mean you need
a medical leave?
925
00:40:56,548 --> 00:40:59,317
Maybe.
926
00:40:59,318 --> 00:41:07,258
� �
927
00:41:12,397 --> 00:41:16,267
(Frank Black)
� Out on the Eisenhower,
where I lost my speed, �
928
00:41:16,268 --> 00:41:20,438
� just a little bit south
of a town called Weed, �
929
00:41:20,439 --> 00:41:23,807
� I heard a voice,
and I had to stop. �
930
00:41:23,808 --> 00:41:26,477
� She called me
over that mountain top. �
931
00:41:26,478 --> 00:41:29,813
� I was a poor soul lost
in the shady trees. �
932
00:41:29,814 --> 00:41:33,717
� I was going to die.
I was going to freeze. �
933
00:41:33,718 --> 00:41:37,355
� Then she touched me. �
934
00:41:37,356 --> 00:41:39,089
� She was velvety. �
935
00:41:39,090 --> 00:41:41,359
� �
936
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,361
� She's a cat of a creature. �
937
00:41:43,362 --> 00:41:44,362
� She don't care. �
938
00:41:44,363 --> 00:41:48,032
� She's velvety. �
939
00:41:48,033 --> 00:41:52,470
� She made
the strangest sounds. �
940
00:41:52,471 --> 00:41:55,773
[laughs]
941
00:42:04,650 --> 00:42:05,949
(Bob)
Read The Book.
942
00:42:05,950 --> 00:42:08,852
Take it.
Put it in your cranium.
943
00:42:08,853 --> 00:42:12,390
Look your mind's eye
right in the face, huh?
944
00:42:12,391 --> 00:42:13,824
What does it mean?
Read The Book.
945
00:42:13,825 --> 00:42:17,595
Read The Book, buddy.
Read The Book.
946
00:42:17,596 --> 00:42:20,731
Come on, people.
Read it.
947
00:42:20,732 --> 00:42:22,933
Hey, read The Book!
948
00:42:22,934 --> 00:42:24,335
The Book? No.
949
00:42:24,336 --> 00:42:25,936
(man)
May I help you?
950
00:42:25,937 --> 00:42:27,672
Popsicle?
951
00:42:27,673 --> 00:42:29,173
Malt cup?
952
00:42:29,174 --> 00:42:30,974
Frog on a stick.
953
00:42:38,116 --> 00:42:39,817
Laced!
954
00:42:39,818 --> 00:42:42,286
That asshole laced my stuff!
955
00:42:44,690 --> 00:42:46,056
Help!
956
00:42:46,057 --> 00:42:47,991
Hey, I need help.
957
00:42:47,992 --> 00:42:48,992
I am...
958
00:42:48,993 --> 00:42:52,230
hallucinating.
959
00:42:52,231 --> 00:42:53,964
Call 911.
960
00:42:58,637 --> 00:43:00,838
Our senses work in spectrums,
all right?
961
00:43:00,839 --> 00:43:02,373
Take sight, for example.
962
00:43:02,374 --> 00:43:06,844
Your eyes can only see energy
in the visible light spectrum.
963
00:43:06,845 --> 00:43:10,914
Those colors you can see are
only an infinitesimal fraction
964
00:43:10,915 --> 00:43:13,917
of the energy spectrums
that actually exist.
965
00:43:13,918 --> 00:43:17,154
It's the same with sound, taste,
smell, touch, everything.
966
00:43:17,155 --> 00:43:21,559
We exist in this narrow band
of perception.
967
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:22,926
All right?
968
00:43:22,927 --> 00:43:25,162
It makes something as simple
as just thinking clearly,
969
00:43:25,163 --> 00:43:28,031
frankly, impossible.
970
00:43:28,032 --> 00:43:31,101
That's why you're withdrawing
from school,
971
00:43:31,102 --> 00:43:37,775
because of this, what,
cosmic intruding stuff?
972
00:43:37,776 --> 00:43:42,179
Well, I mean, there are
other mitigating factors,
973
00:43:42,180 --> 00:43:45,048
but those are harder
to explain.
974
00:43:45,049 --> 00:43:47,318
[sighs]
975
00:43:47,319 --> 00:43:50,120
Okay.
976
00:43:50,121 --> 00:43:54,158
Bickford.
977
00:43:54,159 --> 00:43:58,796
I think I know
why you're upset,
978
00:43:58,797 --> 00:44:01,532
and it's got nothing
to do with your book.
979
00:44:01,533 --> 00:44:03,501
All right.
980
00:44:03,502 --> 00:44:04,502
Enlighten me.
981
00:44:07,172 --> 00:44:09,607
I mean,
982
00:44:09,608 --> 00:44:14,044
I've had feelings
of loneliness too, you know,
983
00:44:14,045 --> 00:44:16,414
and anxiety
984
00:44:16,415 --> 00:44:20,984
or just hate.
985
00:44:20,985 --> 00:44:22,085
Hate?
986
00:44:22,086 --> 00:44:23,187
And I have to tell you.
987
00:44:23,188 --> 00:44:26,990
I feel safe in telling you,
okay, that--
988
00:44:26,991 --> 00:44:29,393
you look at yourself
in the mirror, okay?
989
00:44:29,394 --> 00:44:30,795
Really look closely.
990
00:44:30,796 --> 00:44:34,898
I bet--I bet
you see someone
991
00:44:34,899 --> 00:44:42,473
who looks a lot,
emotionally,
992
00:44:42,474 --> 00:44:43,474
like me.
993
00:44:45,310 --> 00:44:47,845
Someone who's gay.
994
00:44:53,352 --> 00:44:54,652
[sighs]
995
00:44:54,653 --> 00:44:55,986
You're gay?
996
00:44:55,987 --> 00:44:58,356
Oh, yeah.
997
00:45:01,125 --> 00:45:02,460
Haven't you ever noticed
998
00:45:02,461 --> 00:45:05,796
that some guys just
999
00:45:05,797 --> 00:45:09,600
look really, really good?
1000
00:45:12,471 --> 00:45:15,205
You think that I'm...
1001
00:45:15,206 --> 00:45:16,940
like you?
1002
00:45:16,941 --> 00:45:18,342
Why not?
1003
00:45:18,343 --> 00:45:19,577
There's millions of us.
1004
00:45:19,578 --> 00:45:21,846
Come on.
No, there are millions.
1005
00:45:21,847 --> 00:45:24,014
We're not alone.
1006
00:45:24,015 --> 00:45:26,283
Ralph, uh...
1007
00:45:26,284 --> 00:45:27,618
[telephone ringing]
1008
00:45:27,619 --> 00:45:33,724
I wasn't born in the way
that I would have to be born
1009
00:45:33,725 --> 00:45:38,596
to do the things
that you're proposing.
1010
00:45:38,597 --> 00:45:40,097
beep!
1011
00:45:40,098 --> 00:45:42,933
(Sara)
Bick, it's Sara, the klepto.
1012
00:45:42,934 --> 00:45:44,201
I should--
1013
00:45:44,202 --> 00:45:46,570
You're not going
to believe this,
1014
00:45:46,571 --> 00:45:48,739
but I found your book.
1015
00:45:48,740 --> 00:45:51,642
Oh, I'm sorry, Ralph.
I've got to get that.
1016
00:45:51,643 --> 00:45:54,177
Sara? It's Bick.
1017
00:45:54,178 --> 00:45:57,815
Where are you?
1018
00:45:57,816 --> 00:45:59,550
Oh.
1019
00:45:59,551 --> 00:46:02,119
Uh, can we use your car
1020
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,522
to go pick Sara up
from the hospital?
1021
00:46:04,523 --> 00:46:05,890
The hospital?
1022
00:46:05,891 --> 00:46:08,826
[acoustic guitar music]
1023
00:46:08,827 --> 00:46:15,533
� �
1024
00:46:15,534 --> 00:46:20,170
(Beck)
� Lazy flies
all hovering above. �
1025
00:46:20,171 --> 00:46:25,075
� The magistrate,
he puts on his gloves, �
1026
00:46:25,076 --> 00:46:27,244
� and he looks to the clouds, �
1027
00:46:27,245 --> 00:46:29,947
� all pink and disheveled. �
1028
00:46:29,948 --> 00:46:32,550
� There must be
some blueprints, �
1029
00:46:32,551 --> 00:46:37,321
� some creed of the devil
inscribed in our minds, �
1030
00:46:37,322 --> 00:46:39,857
� a hideous game. �
1031
00:46:39,858 --> 00:46:44,962
� Vanishes in thin air,
the vanity of slaves. �
1032
00:46:44,963 --> 00:46:49,533
� Who wants to be there
to sweep the debris, �
1033
00:46:49,534 --> 00:46:54,204
� to harness dead horses,
to ride in the sun? �
1034
00:46:54,205 --> 00:47:00,110
� A life of confessions
written in the dust. �
1035
00:47:00,111 --> 00:47:05,583
� �
1036
00:47:05,584 --> 00:47:10,488
� Out in the mangroves,
the mynah birds cry. �
1037
00:47:10,489 --> 00:47:15,392
� In the shadows of sulfur,
the trawlers drift by. �
1038
00:47:15,393 --> 00:47:20,498
� They're chewing dried meat
in a house of disrepute. �
1039
00:47:20,499 --> 00:47:25,369
� The dust of opiates
and syphilis patients �
1040
00:47:25,370 --> 00:47:28,105
� on brochure vacations. �
1041
00:47:28,106 --> 00:47:30,173
� Fear has a glare �
1042
00:47:30,174 --> 00:47:32,810
� that traps you
like searchlights. �
1043
00:47:32,811 --> 00:47:35,112
� The puritans stare. �
1044
00:47:35,113 --> 00:47:37,681
� Their souls are fluorescent. �
1045
00:47:37,682 --> 00:47:42,753
� The skin of a robot vibrates
with pleasure. �
1046
00:47:42,754 --> 00:47:47,625
� Matrons and gigolos carouse
in the parlor. �
1047
00:47:47,626 --> 00:47:49,960
� Their hand-grenade eyes... �
1048
00:47:49,961 --> 00:47:52,563
Look, if it's
any consolation,
1049
00:47:52,564 --> 00:47:56,199
I haven't stolen anything
in days.
1050
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,836
Well, only one thing,
but that was for art.
1051
00:47:58,837 --> 00:48:01,972
And I'm giving up pot too...
1052
00:48:01,973 --> 00:48:03,473
for a while,
1053
00:48:03,474 --> 00:48:07,611
at least until the end
of the semester.
1054
00:48:07,612 --> 00:48:09,312
And then maybe
I'll try it again.
1055
00:48:09,313 --> 00:48:11,214
Well,
1056
00:48:11,215 --> 00:48:12,716
I'm glad my misery has had
1057
00:48:12,717 --> 00:48:15,185
such a positive effect
on your life.
1058
00:48:27,065 --> 00:48:29,132
You're my hero.
1059
00:48:49,153 --> 00:48:50,388
It seems all here.
1060
00:48:50,389 --> 00:48:53,290
You like her, don't you?
1061
00:48:53,291 --> 00:48:55,359
Sara?
1062
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:59,296
I mean, she's--
she's a knockout.
1063
00:48:59,297 --> 00:49:00,998
You should go for it.
1064
00:49:00,999 --> 00:49:03,100
I mean, that.
You should--
1065
00:49:03,101 --> 00:49:05,469
She totally
violated me, Ralph.
1066
00:49:05,470 --> 00:49:07,170
I mean,
she utterly destroyed
1067
00:49:07,171 --> 00:49:09,306
any confidence
I could ever have in her,
1068
00:49:09,307 --> 00:49:12,610
although she does keep
kissing me,
1069
00:49:12,611 --> 00:49:14,077
which is, frankly,
pretty cool.
1070
00:49:14,078 --> 00:49:15,713
"Keeps"?
What do you mean, "keeps"?
1071
00:49:15,714 --> 00:49:19,817
Like, she kissed you like that,
like what I just saw, before?
1072
00:49:19,818 --> 00:49:21,985
Yes, once.
1073
00:49:21,986 --> 00:49:24,955
Only this time,
it was more lingering,
1074
00:49:24,956 --> 00:49:27,124
and she threw in
some tongue.
1075
00:49:27,125 --> 00:49:28,459
Pleasant surprise.
1076
00:49:28,460 --> 00:49:29,894
Her body is astounding.
1077
00:49:33,298 --> 00:49:37,200
Her mind is, like,
perky, you know?
1078
00:49:37,201 --> 00:49:40,871
Listen, Ralph, I'm sorry
I'm not, like you said,
1079
00:49:40,872 --> 00:49:42,339
one of the millions.
1080
00:49:42,340 --> 00:49:44,241
Don't--stop--please--I--
1081
00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:47,110
[laughs]
1082
00:49:47,111 --> 00:49:50,815
I would have just broken
your heart anyway, Bickford.
1083
00:49:58,022 --> 00:50:00,458
(Bob Dylan)
� Well, I'm walkin'
down the line. �
1084
00:50:00,459 --> 00:50:02,693
� Yeah, I'm walkin'
down the line. �
1085
00:50:02,694 --> 00:50:04,094
� Well, I'm walkin'
down the line. �
1086
00:50:04,095 --> 00:50:05,395
� My feet'll be a-flyin' �
1087
00:50:05,396 --> 00:50:06,864
� to tell you
'bout my troubled mind. �
1088
00:50:06,865 --> 00:50:08,466
� On the corner was a man. �
1089
00:50:08,467 --> 00:50:11,201
� On the corner
was a man. �
1090
00:50:11,202 --> 00:50:13,303
� On the corner was a man,
a shotgun in his hand, �
1091
00:50:13,304 --> 00:50:14,905
� and I really didn't
understand. �
1092
00:50:14,906 --> 00:50:16,574
� That's why
I'm walkin' down the line. �
1093
00:50:16,575 --> 00:50:19,009
� Well, I'm walkin'
down the line. �
1094
00:50:19,010 --> 00:50:20,410
� Well, I'm walkin'
down the line. �
1095
00:50:20,411 --> 00:50:21,612
� My feet'll be a-flyin'... �
1096
00:50:21,613 --> 00:50:23,280
[scoffs]
1097
00:50:23,281 --> 00:50:24,414
Hello?
1098
00:50:26,852 --> 00:50:28,051
Excuse me.
1099
00:50:36,127 --> 00:50:37,828
May I have your attention,
please?
1100
00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:40,163
Uh, you got it.
1101
00:50:40,164 --> 00:50:41,932
Look, I'm Bickford Shmeckler.
1102
00:50:41,933 --> 00:50:43,601
I'm "Anonymous."
1103
00:50:43,602 --> 00:50:45,102
I know this guy.
I know this guy.
1104
00:50:45,103 --> 00:50:48,105
You're the--
you're the poet-hater guy
1105
00:50:48,106 --> 00:50:50,107
who hangs out in the quad
with Spaceman, right?
1106
00:50:50,108 --> 00:50:52,409
Poet-hater, no.
I'm a poet fan, believe you me.
1107
00:50:52,410 --> 00:50:54,778
And I'm the author of this book
you scofflaws
1108
00:50:54,779 --> 00:50:56,246
have been distributing.
1109
00:50:56,247 --> 00:50:57,548
You wrote
The Book?
1110
00:50:57,549 --> 00:50:59,216
He wishes.
1111
00:50:59,217 --> 00:51:00,384
Yes, I wrote The Book.
1112
00:51:00,385 --> 00:51:01,652
I can prove it.
1113
00:51:01,653 --> 00:51:03,787
I believe the book
in your possession
1114
00:51:03,788 --> 00:51:05,088
is missing its first page.
1115
00:51:12,697 --> 00:51:14,197
Let me see that.
1116
00:51:18,737 --> 00:51:20,871
It's the same handwriting.
1117
00:51:23,842 --> 00:51:26,043
Whoa.
1118
00:51:26,044 --> 00:51:27,878
Bickford Shmeckler?
1119
00:51:27,879 --> 00:51:29,680
You're him?
1120
00:51:29,681 --> 00:51:30,814
You're the guy.
You're the guy.
1121
00:51:30,815 --> 00:51:32,983
I thought
you'd be more...
1122
00:51:32,984 --> 00:51:33,984
Abbie Hoffman.
1123
00:51:33,985 --> 00:51:35,185
Yeah.
1124
00:51:35,186 --> 00:51:37,220
Want to hear
some of our cool ideas?
1125
00:51:37,221 --> 00:51:38,522
We got about nine pag--
No? Okay.
1126
00:51:38,523 --> 00:51:41,158
They're not, you know,
as cool as yours, but--
1127
00:51:41,159 --> 00:51:43,226
They're still fairly intensely
thought-provoking
1128
00:51:43,227 --> 00:51:46,030
and mildly pleasurable.
1129
00:51:46,031 --> 00:51:47,598
(Bob)
We're more...
1130
00:51:47,599 --> 00:51:49,266
sociopolitical,
I guess.
1131
00:51:49,267 --> 00:51:52,536
But, you know, in the tradition
of the great book.
1132
00:51:52,537 --> 00:51:53,671
If I could just
1133
00:51:53,672 --> 00:51:55,706
lay this on you,
if I may.
1134
00:51:55,707 --> 00:51:59,443
"Governments derive their power
from the masses,
1135
00:51:59,444 --> 00:52:02,046
"but when disenfranchised voters
turn against the institutions,
1136
00:52:02,047 --> 00:52:03,447
which vest power
in authority"--
1137
00:52:03,448 --> 00:52:05,082
Listen,
numbskull.
1138
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:06,717
That sort of
"we, the people" rap
1139
00:52:06,718 --> 00:52:07,885
went out
with Ben Franklin.
1140
00:52:07,886 --> 00:52:09,119
I'm the one
with the cool ideas here,
1141
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:10,554
and you people are infringing
on my copyrights.
1142
00:52:10,555 --> 00:52:12,022
I want my book back now.
1143
00:52:12,023 --> 00:52:13,057
Plus, I insist
1144
00:52:13,058 --> 00:52:14,558
you dimwits cease and desist
1145
00:52:14,559 --> 00:52:16,560
distributing my book
immediately.
1146
00:52:16,561 --> 00:52:18,729
Anything less, and I'll return
to your little shop here
1147
00:52:18,730 --> 00:52:20,564
with a gas can
and a box of matches.
1148
00:52:20,565 --> 00:52:23,133
Listen,
you don't understand.
1149
00:52:23,134 --> 00:52:24,534
We're your biggest fans.
1150
00:52:24,535 --> 00:52:26,303
Yeah.
(man)
Yeah.
1151
00:52:26,304 --> 00:52:29,106
This shop is ground zero
for the reality revolution.
1152
00:52:29,107 --> 00:52:30,774
Reality r--
1153
00:52:33,712 --> 00:52:35,212
(Bickford)
All right, all right.
That's it.
1154
00:52:35,213 --> 00:52:36,213
I'm taking all this stuff--
1155
00:52:36,214 --> 00:52:37,948
hats and T-shirts.
1156
00:52:37,949 --> 00:52:40,117
What the hell are those?
1157
00:52:40,118 --> 00:52:42,519
"Reality isn't" shot glasses.
1158
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:43,921
Shot glasses?
1159
00:52:44,990 --> 00:52:46,389
You people are hopeless.
1160
00:52:46,390 --> 00:52:47,491
(Bob)
You know what?
1161
00:52:47,492 --> 00:52:48,492
Here.
1162
00:52:48,493 --> 00:52:49,927
You're not even cool.
1163
00:52:49,928 --> 00:52:52,129
Yeah, you're just some
arrogant loser
1164
00:52:52,130 --> 00:52:54,632
who doesn't even
comprehend merchandising.
1165
00:52:54,633 --> 00:52:55,699
Get this guy a box.
1166
00:52:55,700 --> 00:52:57,567
Take all this crap
out of here.
1167
00:52:57,568 --> 00:52:59,637
I can't believe I quit D&D
for you, man.
1168
00:52:59,638 --> 00:53:00,771
D&D?
1169
00:53:00,772 --> 00:53:02,106
I had the Wand
of the Crimson Magi,
1170
00:53:02,107 --> 00:53:03,340
but it doesn't matter.
1171
00:53:03,341 --> 00:53:04,574
Hey, Slim,
hand me those mugs.
1172
00:53:04,575 --> 00:53:06,309
Gave it up for you,
but whatever.
1173
00:53:06,310 --> 00:53:07,811
Why don't you get out?
1174
00:53:07,812 --> 00:53:09,046
Take it.
Take it and get out.
1175
00:53:09,047 --> 00:53:10,781
Why don't you leave the store?
How about that?
1176
00:53:13,718 --> 00:53:14,652
Whoa.
1177
00:53:17,522 --> 00:53:19,256
Dork.
1178
00:53:19,257 --> 00:53:21,625
(Violent Femmes)
� I-M-N-O-T-H-I-N. �
1179
00:53:21,626 --> 00:53:23,794
� I-M-N-O-T-H-I-N. �
1180
00:53:23,795 --> 00:53:28,799
� I'm nothing.
I'm nothing. �
1181
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,768
� Are you a Republican
or a Democrat, �
1182
00:53:30,769 --> 00:53:33,170
� a liberal fascist
full of crap? �
1183
00:53:33,171 --> 00:53:38,375
� I'm nothing.
I'm nothing. �
1184
00:53:38,376 --> 00:53:40,911
� Somebody somewhere
might be something, �
1185
00:53:40,912 --> 00:53:44,181
� but everybody everywhere knows
that I'm nothing. �
1186
00:53:44,182 --> 00:53:47,918
� �
1187
00:53:47,919 --> 00:53:49,153
� Politics and dirty tricks. �
1188
00:53:49,154 --> 00:53:50,620
� I got no time
for stones and sticks. �
1189
00:53:50,621 --> 00:53:52,255
� Politics and dirty tricks. �
1190
00:53:52,256 --> 00:53:53,691
� I got no time.
I'm chasing chicks. �
1191
00:53:53,692 --> 00:53:57,861
� I'm nothing.
I'm nothing. �
1192
00:53:57,862 --> 00:54:00,263
� Somebody somewhere
might be something, �
1193
00:54:00,264 --> 00:54:03,767
� but everybody everywhere knows
that I'm nothing. �
1194
00:54:03,768 --> 00:54:07,470
� �
1195
00:54:07,471 --> 00:54:12,142
� I'm nothing.
I'm like a cloud. �
1196
00:54:12,143 --> 00:54:18,281
� I'm free to be alone
in a crowd. �
1197
00:54:18,282 --> 00:54:20,751
� What's your reality? �
1198
00:54:20,752 --> 00:54:23,520
� It's not real to me. �
1199
00:54:23,521 --> 00:54:25,789
� What's your anomaly? �
1200
00:54:25,790 --> 00:54:33,263
� It is my destiny. �
1201
00:54:33,264 --> 00:54:35,498
� �
1202
00:54:35,499 --> 00:54:38,235
� I-M-N-O-T-H-I-N. �
1203
00:54:38,236 --> 00:54:40,537
� I'm nothing. �
1204
00:54:40,538 --> 00:54:42,740
� Nothing. �
1205
00:54:42,741 --> 00:54:43,673
� Nothin'. �
1206
00:54:45,110 --> 00:54:46,744
Wrong.
1207
00:54:46,745 --> 00:54:48,946
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!
1208
00:54:51,449 --> 00:54:54,317
Wrong.
1209
00:54:58,223 --> 00:55:00,157
(Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings)
� Let 'em talk. �
1210
00:55:00,158 --> 00:55:02,826
� I don't care if it's right. �
1211
00:55:02,827 --> 00:55:05,562
� You see,
the hour's getting late. �
1212
00:55:05,563 --> 00:55:08,899
� �
1213
00:55:08,900 --> 00:55:14,471
� If those two lips
are gonna resist me, �
1214
00:55:14,472 --> 00:55:19,109
� you better come on, boy,
come on over here �
1215
00:55:19,110 --> 00:55:20,144
� and kiss me, yeah. �
1216
00:55:20,145 --> 00:55:22,146
[woman clears throat]
1217
00:55:22,147 --> 00:55:25,082
Before we get started,
1218
00:55:25,083 --> 00:55:30,254
is Bickford Shmeckler
in class today?
1219
00:55:30,255 --> 00:55:31,822
Bickford Shmeckler,
are you here?
1220
00:55:31,823 --> 00:55:33,390
[man laughs]
Bickford Shmeckler.
1221
00:55:33,391 --> 00:55:35,159
Present.
1222
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,295
Will you please come see me
after the lecture?
1223
00:55:38,296 --> 00:55:40,164
[students giggling]
1224
00:55:40,165 --> 00:55:41,665
Okay.
1225
00:55:41,666 --> 00:55:44,467
Great.
1226
00:55:47,305 --> 00:55:49,940
(man)
Where are you off to now?
1227
00:55:49,941 --> 00:55:52,642
All right,
I'll see you over there.
1228
00:55:54,279 --> 00:55:56,313
Professor Adams.
1229
00:55:56,314 --> 00:55:58,348
Bickford Shmeckler.
1230
00:55:58,349 --> 00:56:01,285
I did some research
and discovered
1231
00:56:01,286 --> 00:56:05,856
the anonymous young man
who wrote this remarkable book
1232
00:56:05,857 --> 00:56:09,026
was none other than one
of my very own students.
1233
00:56:13,131 --> 00:56:14,264
Bickford.
1234
00:56:16,868 --> 00:56:20,370
I had no idea anyone
was paying attention--
1235
00:56:20,371 --> 00:56:23,941
not in an undergraduate
class, anyway,
1236
00:56:23,942 --> 00:56:26,609
not at a level
so penetrating,
1237
00:56:26,610 --> 00:56:30,447
profound,
dare I say passionate?
1238
00:56:30,448 --> 00:56:31,882
Uh, Professor Adams.
1239
00:56:31,883 --> 00:56:36,019
Your class has nothing to do
with why I wrote The Book.
1240
00:56:36,020 --> 00:56:39,389
I know all this
fundamental stuff already.
1241
00:56:39,390 --> 00:56:40,858
I need the credits
to graduate.
1242
00:56:40,859 --> 00:56:42,792
I know.
1243
00:56:42,793 --> 00:56:46,363
I'm pulling your leg.
1244
00:56:46,364 --> 00:56:49,466
I enjoyed your work
so much,
1245
00:56:49,467 --> 00:56:51,401
I took the liberty
of passing it on
1246
00:56:51,402 --> 00:56:54,137
to a publisher friend
of mine in New York.
1247
00:56:54,138 --> 00:56:56,406
What?
No, you didn't.
1248
00:56:56,407 --> 00:56:57,640
Yes, I did.
No.
1249
00:56:57,641 --> 00:56:59,442
Yeah, he loves it,
1250
00:56:59,443 --> 00:57:00,978
and he wants to fly out here
to meet you.
1251
00:57:00,979 --> 00:57:02,212
I think he wants
to publish you.
1252
00:57:02,213 --> 00:57:03,513
And what exactly
does that mean?
1253
00:57:03,514 --> 00:57:07,484
Well, it means
that you owe me
1254
00:57:07,485 --> 00:57:10,587
a very, very big favor.
1255
00:57:12,891 --> 00:57:16,660
You fascinate me.
1256
00:57:16,661 --> 00:57:19,663
[tropical music]
1257
00:57:19,664 --> 00:57:25,201
� �
1258
00:57:25,202 --> 00:57:27,103
All right, there it is.
There it is.
1259
00:57:27,104 --> 00:57:28,271
Yup, there it is.
1260
00:57:28,272 --> 00:57:29,539
Oh, yeah.
Get a good one.
1261
00:57:29,540 --> 00:57:31,174
Tip it.
Did you get it?
1262
00:57:31,175 --> 00:57:32,175
Ooh, yeah.
Yeah?
1263
00:57:32,176 --> 00:57:33,242
Yeah?
Taste the juice?
1264
00:57:33,243 --> 00:57:34,510
Pineapple.
Citrusy.
1265
00:57:34,511 --> 00:57:35,979
That's it.
1266
00:57:35,980 --> 00:57:37,847
Hey, Bick,
want to join the party?
1267
00:57:37,848 --> 00:57:39,348
Eh.
1268
00:57:39,349 --> 00:57:41,184
"Eh."
1269
00:57:41,185 --> 00:57:42,518
The genie's out
of the bottle.
1270
00:57:42,519 --> 00:57:44,721
The Book's out there,
way out there.
1271
00:57:44,722 --> 00:57:46,856
Everything is becoming
extremely tight,
1272
00:57:46,857 --> 00:57:48,091
closing in.
1273
00:57:48,092 --> 00:57:49,092
You know Professor Adams?
1274
00:57:49,093 --> 00:57:50,359
You're not going
to believe--
1275
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:51,461
Bick.
1276
00:57:51,462 --> 00:57:53,129
I'm all tapped out
of compassion.
1277
00:57:53,130 --> 00:57:55,465
You got
your book back, man.
1278
00:57:55,466 --> 00:57:57,734
Your nightmare,
it's over.
1279
00:57:57,735 --> 00:57:59,869
Move on, please.
1280
00:57:59,870 --> 00:58:03,206
But you, I thought,
were my friend.
1281
00:58:03,207 --> 00:58:04,540
Yeah, yeah,
and as your friend,
1282
00:58:04,541 --> 00:58:07,711
I'm telling you,
just be happy.
1283
00:58:07,712 --> 00:58:10,981
But happiness isn't just
a switch in your head
1284
00:58:10,982 --> 00:58:12,415
that you can flip on
at will.
1285
00:58:12,416 --> 00:58:16,052
Yes, it is.
1286
00:58:17,788 --> 00:58:19,288
Happiness is a switch?
1287
00:58:19,289 --> 00:58:21,290
That's so...
1288
00:58:21,291 --> 00:58:22,659
masturbatory.
1289
00:58:22,660 --> 00:58:24,060
Well, isn't masturbation
1290
00:58:24,061 --> 00:58:26,796
one of the greatest inventions
of all time?
1291
00:58:26,797 --> 00:58:28,364
Ralph, come on.
1292
00:58:28,365 --> 00:58:29,432
I'm in crisis mode here.
1293
00:58:29,433 --> 00:58:30,967
All right.
1294
00:58:30,968 --> 00:58:32,836
What's masturbatory
1295
00:58:32,837 --> 00:58:37,240
is thinking all those
heavy thoughts all day long.
1296
00:58:37,241 --> 00:58:39,408
There is no need to be
so intense
1297
00:58:39,409 --> 00:58:41,344
about everything, Bick.
1298
00:58:41,345 --> 00:58:44,881
You're living your book
too much.
1299
00:58:44,882 --> 00:58:47,383
No, you just got
to flip that switch
1300
00:58:47,384 --> 00:58:51,655
and take some time
and just--just chill.
1301
00:58:51,656 --> 00:58:53,322
[sighs]
1302
00:58:53,323 --> 00:58:56,893
Believe me;
you need it, pal.
1303
00:58:59,130 --> 00:59:02,098
I'll catch you later.
1304
00:59:34,565 --> 00:59:37,067
[rapping]
1305
00:59:42,673 --> 00:59:44,741
You disappeared on us.
1306
00:59:46,577 --> 00:59:48,311
Yeah.
1307
00:59:48,312 --> 00:59:52,315
Yeah, I constantly
disappear and reappear.
1308
00:59:52,316 --> 00:59:53,850
It's a thing I do
subatomically.
1309
00:59:53,851 --> 00:59:55,418
Yeah.
1310
00:59:55,419 --> 00:59:57,821
It's happened several times
in this conversation already,
1311
00:59:57,822 --> 01:00:00,056
but it happened so fast,
you couldn't perceive it.
1312
01:00:04,261 --> 01:00:08,164
How are
the extradimensionals?
1313
01:00:08,165 --> 01:00:10,934
The extradimensionals
need you back.
1314
01:00:10,935 --> 01:00:14,270
They want us to rescue them
from the misery.
1315
01:00:16,373 --> 01:00:18,908
You can save us.
1316
01:00:20,711 --> 01:00:24,981
We need you
to solve the problem.
1317
01:00:45,169 --> 01:00:47,070
You never call.
You never write.
1318
01:00:47,071 --> 01:00:49,773
And then you just show up
out of the blue.
1319
01:00:49,774 --> 01:00:51,775
You really are cultivating
1320
01:00:51,776 --> 01:00:54,144
that whole mysterious guy
thing, aren't you?
1321
01:00:54,145 --> 01:00:57,546
I--I just need
to talk to someone.
1322
01:00:57,547 --> 01:01:00,884
[women giggling]
1323
01:01:11,495 --> 01:01:13,496
Okay, secret agent man.
1324
01:01:13,497 --> 01:01:15,098
What's the rumpus?
1325
01:01:15,099 --> 01:01:18,601
I, uh...
1326
01:01:18,602 --> 01:01:20,870
I think a publishing company
in New York
1327
01:01:20,871 --> 01:01:22,471
wants to buy The Book as-is.
1328
01:01:22,472 --> 01:01:24,040
Wait, wait, wait,
rewind.
1329
01:01:24,041 --> 01:01:26,475
Buy it?
You mean publish The Book?
1330
01:01:26,476 --> 01:01:28,311
Yeah, I don't know--
1331
01:01:28,312 --> 01:01:31,047
I don't know
all the details.
1332
01:01:31,048 --> 01:01:32,381
Some guy wants
to meet me.
1333
01:01:32,382 --> 01:01:33,616
He's flying out
from New York.
1334
01:01:33,617 --> 01:01:36,119
Bick, that is so cool!
1335
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:38,754
Yeah.
1336
01:01:38,755 --> 01:01:41,490
That is cool,
isn't it?
1337
01:01:45,262 --> 01:01:46,395
I'm sorry.
1338
01:01:46,396 --> 01:01:47,430
I need to go.
1339
01:01:47,431 --> 01:01:49,232
Bick, what is wrong?
1340
01:01:49,233 --> 01:01:52,802
Why did you even come here
in the first place?
1341
01:01:52,803 --> 01:01:57,106
I, uh...
1342
01:02:03,848 --> 01:02:05,348
Whatever it is,
1343
01:02:05,349 --> 01:02:07,116
it can't be that bad,
can it?
1344
01:02:07,117 --> 01:02:09,452
I killed my mom, Sara.
1345
01:02:09,453 --> 01:02:12,188
What, honey?
1346
01:02:12,189 --> 01:02:13,556
I can't sell The Book.
1347
01:02:13,557 --> 01:02:15,892
I only started it
because of my mom.
1348
01:02:15,893 --> 01:02:17,760
You killed her?
1349
01:02:17,761 --> 01:02:20,063
No. How?
1350
01:02:20,064 --> 01:02:21,397
With a butcher's knife?
1351
01:02:21,398 --> 01:02:23,233
A butcher's knife?
1352
01:02:23,234 --> 01:02:25,401
Ralph told me
about your episode
1353
01:02:25,402 --> 01:02:26,870
with the turkey fork,
and--
1354
01:02:26,871 --> 01:02:31,241
I killed my mom
with a car, Sara.
1355
01:02:31,242 --> 01:02:35,278
The car flipped
four times.
1356
01:02:35,279 --> 01:02:39,215
My mom died the next day
at the hospital,
1357
01:02:39,216 --> 01:02:41,684
the other driver instantly.
1358
01:02:41,685 --> 01:02:45,588
And...
1359
01:02:45,589 --> 01:02:47,556
I didn't suffer a scratch.
1360
01:02:47,557 --> 01:02:49,792
It sounds like that accident
1361
01:02:49,793 --> 01:02:52,561
wasn't even close
to being your fault.
1362
01:02:52,562 --> 01:02:56,399
That's what I told myself.
1363
01:02:56,400 --> 01:03:00,203
I was stoic to the bone.
1364
01:03:00,204 --> 01:03:06,709
After a while,
I guess you could say
1365
01:03:06,710 --> 01:03:11,047
I got deluded.
1366
01:03:11,048 --> 01:03:14,650
I thought that people thought
I was speaking gibberish,
1367
01:03:14,651 --> 01:03:16,685
and when I heard them speak,
1368
01:03:16,686 --> 01:03:19,022
they just sounded
like shallow, petty idiots.
1369
01:03:19,023 --> 01:03:23,159
Well, that wasn't
your imagination, Bick.
1370
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:29,032
People can be
shallow, petty idiots.
1371
01:03:29,033 --> 01:03:33,569
It got so bad,
I couldn't leave my apartment.
1372
01:03:33,570 --> 01:03:39,542
My textbooks would talk
and sing to me.
1373
01:03:39,543 --> 01:03:43,746
And food
in the refrigerator
1374
01:03:43,747 --> 01:03:48,484
would become these,
like, wild cartoons.
1375
01:03:48,485 --> 01:03:50,286
Trip out.
1376
01:03:52,589 --> 01:03:55,325
And there was a knock
at the door.
1377
01:03:55,326 --> 01:03:58,461
It was my dad
1378
01:03:58,462 --> 01:04:04,600
and some doctor guy
from a mental institution
1379
01:04:04,601 --> 01:04:09,672
and a cop trained
in the handling
1380
01:04:09,673 --> 01:04:12,108
of psychotic individuals.
1381
01:04:12,109 --> 01:04:13,742
They forced you...
1382
01:04:13,743 --> 01:04:16,679
To a looney bin.
1383
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:17,746
Yeah.
1384
01:04:20,317 --> 01:04:24,487
And that, Sara,
1385
01:04:24,488 --> 01:04:28,024
I have never told anyone.
1386
01:04:28,025 --> 01:04:31,760
And they gave me
a notebook,
1387
01:04:31,761 --> 01:04:33,896
so I wrote.
1388
01:04:33,897 --> 01:04:35,298
And the more I wrote,
1389
01:04:35,299 --> 01:04:39,602
the more refined
my thoughts became.
1390
01:04:39,603 --> 01:04:41,371
[sighs]
1391
01:04:41,372 --> 01:04:44,673
Six weeks later,
they let me out.
1392
01:04:44,674 --> 01:04:48,077
And a month after that,
I showed up to school
1393
01:04:48,078 --> 01:04:53,782
relaxed, rested,
and ready for action.
1394
01:04:55,785 --> 01:04:57,786
And then you stole my book.
1395
01:05:00,157 --> 01:05:02,158
I'm so sorry.
1396
01:05:02,159 --> 01:05:05,995
I just--I loved it.
1397
01:05:05,996 --> 01:05:10,400
And I'm so glad
you got it back.
1398
01:05:16,573 --> 01:05:18,774
I'm going to end up
like Spaceman.
1399
01:05:18,775 --> 01:05:19,808
[laughs]
1400
01:05:19,809 --> 01:05:22,878
No, I am.
1401
01:05:22,879 --> 01:05:25,981
Like Spaceman, homeless
on some college campus,
1402
01:05:25,982 --> 01:05:28,384
collecting recyclables,
begging for quarters,
1403
01:05:28,385 --> 01:05:30,286
and trying to expurgate
extradimensionals
1404
01:05:30,287 --> 01:05:31,587
from my head.
1405
01:05:31,588 --> 01:05:33,556
No, you're not
mentally ill, Bick.
1406
01:05:33,557 --> 01:05:37,260
Not like that,
not even close.
1407
01:05:37,261 --> 01:05:39,128
You're just...
1408
01:05:39,129 --> 01:05:44,333
an anxious, self-absorbed
perfectionist,
1409
01:05:44,334 --> 01:05:47,236
all good qualities
under different circumstances.
1410
01:05:49,239 --> 01:05:52,275
You know what you need?
1411
01:05:54,644 --> 01:05:57,146
An end to The Book?
1412
01:05:57,147 --> 01:06:00,216
No.
1413
01:06:00,217 --> 01:06:04,153
A new beginning.
1414
01:06:24,108 --> 01:06:25,174
(man)
Da-da-da-dum.
1415
01:06:25,175 --> 01:06:26,876
This contract contains
1416
01:06:26,877 --> 01:06:29,144
the terms
we're willing to offer,
1417
01:06:29,145 --> 01:06:32,047
including a $20,000 advance
against royalties,
1418
01:06:32,048 --> 01:06:34,216
a 10,000-copy
first printing,
1419
01:06:34,217 --> 01:06:37,319
and a guarantee to market
the book accordingly.
1420
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:41,757
There's an awful lot
of fine print.
1421
01:06:41,758 --> 01:06:42,825
[laughs]
1422
01:06:42,826 --> 01:06:44,494
Well, that's because
1423
01:06:44,495 --> 01:06:46,061
we mean business.
1424
01:06:46,062 --> 01:06:52,535
Sir, the only reason
that I'm here is because--
1425
01:06:52,536 --> 01:06:54,804
well, there's this girl
1426
01:06:54,805 --> 01:06:57,006
who thought I would be a fool
not to meet you.
1427
01:06:57,007 --> 01:06:58,941
He has a girlfriend.
1428
01:06:58,942 --> 01:07:01,978
Yeah, he's informed me.
1429
01:07:01,979 --> 01:07:07,550
Well, I just want to say,
from the start,
1430
01:07:07,551 --> 01:07:08,684
The Book isn't finished.
1431
01:07:08,685 --> 01:07:10,452
Oh, of course.
1432
01:07:10,453 --> 01:07:12,187
No, it could use some editing.
1433
01:07:12,188 --> 01:07:14,857
But, Bickford,
I want you to understand
1434
01:07:14,858 --> 01:07:16,993
I don't expect you
to sign anything here and now.
1435
01:07:16,994 --> 01:07:19,294
Take the contract home.
1436
01:07:19,295 --> 01:07:21,497
Show it to your mom and dad,
a lawyer.
1437
01:07:21,498 --> 01:07:23,666
You could even have
a law student friend
1438
01:07:23,667 --> 01:07:25,234
review it pro bono.
1439
01:07:25,235 --> 01:07:27,269
[laughter]
1440
01:07:27,270 --> 01:07:28,905
Ah, I find
this collegiate atmosphere
1441
01:07:28,906 --> 01:07:30,072
very invigorating.
1442
01:07:32,609 --> 01:07:34,043
I also think,
1443
01:07:34,044 --> 01:07:35,978
if you'll forgive me
for being so forward--
1444
01:07:35,979 --> 01:07:38,514
but, hey, that's why I'm paid
the big bucks--
1445
01:07:38,515 --> 01:07:40,516
you may want
to give some thought
1446
01:07:40,517 --> 01:07:44,119
to finding a title
other than The Book
1447
01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:45,187
for the book.
1448
01:07:45,188 --> 01:07:46,422
Yeah.
1449
01:07:46,423 --> 01:07:47,924
It's--well,
it's a tad pretentious.
1450
01:07:47,925 --> 01:07:49,792
And I fear
people may mistake it
1451
01:07:49,793 --> 01:07:51,226
for some kind
of religious text.
1452
01:07:51,227 --> 01:07:57,700
How about Bickford Shmeckler's
Cool Ideas?
1453
01:07:57,701 --> 01:08:00,002
'Cause you're Bickford,
1454
01:08:00,003 --> 01:08:03,305
and it's your cool ideas.
1455
01:08:03,306 --> 01:08:06,709
Bickford Shmeckler's
Cool Ideas.
1456
01:08:06,710 --> 01:08:08,310
I like it.
1457
01:08:28,665 --> 01:08:30,866
[dog barks]
1458
01:08:38,709 --> 01:08:40,743
(Sara)
You know, Bick,
1459
01:08:40,744 --> 01:08:42,578
if I'm reading this
correctly,
1460
01:08:42,579 --> 01:08:44,880
when the book goes
into second printing,
1461
01:08:44,881 --> 01:08:49,284
if it does, you could
make out like a bandit.
1462
01:08:49,285 --> 01:08:51,453
[groans]
1463
01:08:51,454 --> 01:08:54,724
I just can't stop thinking
this is a bad idea.
1464
01:08:54,725 --> 01:08:56,425
[sighs]
1465
01:08:58,762 --> 01:09:01,196
It'd be dedicated
to your mother.
1466
01:09:01,197 --> 01:09:04,867
Yeah, and she's really,
what, going to enjoy
1467
01:09:04,868 --> 01:09:07,069
spending
the royalty checks?
1468
01:09:07,070 --> 01:09:08,871
[sighs]
1469
01:09:08,872 --> 01:09:11,273
You know, Bick,
1470
01:09:11,274 --> 01:09:13,175
you should put
a warning label on your book.
1471
01:09:13,176 --> 01:09:14,443
"Author full of a shit
1472
01:09:14,444 --> 01:09:17,579
and doesn't understand
one word of what he wrote."
1473
01:09:17,580 --> 01:09:18,814
Where are you going?
1474
01:09:18,815 --> 01:09:19,915
Oh, does it matter?
1475
01:09:19,916 --> 01:09:21,717
I'm not even
in this dimension, right?
1476
01:09:21,718 --> 01:09:23,919
Are you breaking up with me?
1477
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:25,287
[laughs]
1478
01:09:25,288 --> 01:09:27,723
After six days, it's not called
"breaking up," Bick.
1479
01:09:27,724 --> 01:09:31,661
It's called using your head
and steering clear.
1480
01:09:31,662 --> 01:09:33,663
You're dumping me
because I won't sell out
1481
01:09:33,664 --> 01:09:35,397
to the lemmings.
1482
01:09:35,398 --> 01:09:36,832
How could you,
of all people,
1483
01:09:36,833 --> 01:09:38,433
be that materialistic?
1484
01:09:38,434 --> 01:09:41,603
I couldn't care less
about the money, Bick.
1485
01:09:41,604 --> 01:09:42,938
You've written The Book.
1486
01:09:42,939 --> 01:09:44,040
It's finished.
1487
01:09:44,041 --> 01:09:45,641
It has been
since I met you.
1488
01:09:45,642 --> 01:09:47,043
So deal with it.
1489
01:09:52,348 --> 01:09:55,951
Misery may love company,
but I don't.
1490
01:09:55,952 --> 01:09:58,387
I like fun.
1491
01:10:07,297 --> 01:10:12,267
"Author full of shit."
1492
01:10:12,268 --> 01:10:14,737
"Author
full of shit."
1493
01:10:14,738 --> 01:10:16,105
"Warning.
1494
01:10:16,106 --> 01:10:17,573
Warning:
Author full of shit."
1495
01:10:17,574 --> 01:10:19,408
Huh?
1496
01:10:19,409 --> 01:10:21,610
Tell me, stranger,
do you doubt that you exist
1497
01:10:21,611 --> 01:10:23,445
standing there,
listening to my voice?
1498
01:10:23,446 --> 01:10:25,614
Uh, no?
1499
01:10:25,615 --> 01:10:26,782
Of course not.
1500
01:10:26,783 --> 01:10:27,917
Because, ultimately,
1501
01:10:27,918 --> 01:10:29,318
that horny little artist girl
is right.
1502
01:10:29,319 --> 01:10:30,720
I've been thinking
my brain fried
1503
01:10:30,721 --> 01:10:32,354
for two years,
and now where am I?
1504
01:10:32,355 --> 01:10:34,790
Nowhere.
1505
01:10:34,791 --> 01:10:37,359
You hear that, God?
1506
01:10:37,360 --> 01:10:38,594
I've seen through
your secret plan.
1507
01:10:38,595 --> 01:10:39,661
No matter how smart,
1508
01:10:39,662 --> 01:10:41,463
how clever
we all think we are,
1509
01:10:41,464 --> 01:10:44,834
ultimately, we all know,
I know nothing.
1510
01:10:44,835 --> 01:10:46,301
Shit.
1511
01:10:46,302 --> 01:10:49,338
There is no theory
of everything.
1512
01:10:49,339 --> 01:10:50,505
We know nothing.
1513
01:10:50,506 --> 01:10:52,041
And anyone who thinks
they need to know
1514
01:10:52,042 --> 01:10:55,978
every single goddamn thing
is a...
1515
01:10:55,979 --> 01:10:57,679
dipshit.
1516
01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:00,549
If I let that girl
walk out of my life--
1517
01:11:00,550 --> 01:11:01,650
You're the dipshit?
1518
01:11:01,651 --> 01:11:04,519
[laughter]
1519
01:11:04,520 --> 01:11:06,188
I'm the dipshit.
1520
01:11:06,189 --> 01:11:12,461
[cheers and applause]
1521
01:11:21,571 --> 01:11:24,506
(Bob)
"Warning: Read at your own risk.
1522
01:11:24,507 --> 01:11:27,309
"The following ideas
are dangerous and addictive.
1523
01:11:27,310 --> 01:11:31,814
"Repeated use can induce
insomnia, delusional fantasy,
1524
01:11:31,815 --> 01:11:33,282
"fits of libidinous
frustration,
1525
01:11:33,283 --> 01:11:34,750
and other psychiatric
conditions."
1526
01:11:34,751 --> 01:11:36,152
Yeesh.
1527
01:11:36,153 --> 01:11:38,821
"When reading, place feet
firm to the ground,
1528
01:11:38,822 --> 01:11:40,189
"tongue firm to cheek,
1529
01:11:40,190 --> 01:11:42,858
"and fasten your mental
safety belt tightly.
1530
01:11:42,859 --> 01:11:45,560
"Above all, remember
that as the fabric of reality
1531
01:11:45,561 --> 01:11:47,263
"begins to rip around you
1532
01:11:47,264 --> 01:11:52,067
"and uneasy feelings overtake
your sense of self,
1533
01:11:52,068 --> 01:11:55,004
breathe deep and have fun."
1534
01:11:57,941 --> 01:11:59,541
Having fun--
1535
01:11:59,542 --> 01:12:05,848
pure, unadulterated,
high-octane physical sensation.
1536
01:12:05,849 --> 01:12:07,449
It's, like,
the most important thing,
1537
01:12:07,450 --> 01:12:08,918
and I forgot that.
1538
01:12:08,919 --> 01:12:11,420
So you're just giving us
The Book?
1539
01:12:11,421 --> 01:12:12,621
On one condition:
1540
01:12:12,622 --> 01:12:15,057
that you keep
giving it away for free.
1541
01:12:15,058 --> 01:12:17,860
I don't want anybody
to profit off of it.
1542
01:12:17,861 --> 01:12:19,761
That's not The Book.
1543
01:12:19,762 --> 01:12:21,730
Which means,
no merchandising.
1544
01:12:21,731 --> 01:12:22,764
Sorry, Bob.
1545
01:12:22,765 --> 01:12:23,966
Well, I don't know--
1546
01:12:23,967 --> 01:12:25,201
Douche bag.
1547
01:12:25,202 --> 01:12:27,069
You see,
he's got a contract.
1548
01:12:27,070 --> 01:12:28,704
The guy's blowing
20 grand on us.
1549
01:12:28,705 --> 01:12:29,939
[whispers]
So zip it.
1550
01:12:29,940 --> 01:12:31,040
I don't get it.
1551
01:12:31,041 --> 01:12:32,908
Why would you give us
The Book
1552
01:12:32,909 --> 01:12:35,277
when it is obviously
your life's work?
1553
01:12:35,278 --> 01:12:36,511
Yeah.
1554
01:12:42,719 --> 01:12:46,355
All I can say is,
in the last couple weeks,
1555
01:12:46,356 --> 01:12:50,192
I had a life-changing,
quasipsychedelic epiphany.
1556
01:12:51,761 --> 01:12:53,929
And I got my fun back.
1557
01:12:53,930 --> 01:12:58,433
I had one of those, uh--
1558
01:12:58,434 --> 01:13:02,104
I had one of those epiphanies
reading The Book.
1559
01:13:02,105 --> 01:13:04,340
But if you had one
of those epiphanies
1560
01:13:04,341 --> 01:13:05,474
and you wrote the book--
1561
01:13:05,475 --> 01:13:07,776
Oh, oh,
that's a good one.
1562
01:13:07,777 --> 01:13:09,178
Oh, yeah.
1563
01:13:09,179 --> 01:13:11,914
[breathes heavily]
1564
01:13:11,915 --> 01:13:13,415
What's wrong
with them?
1565
01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:15,351
Brain-gasm.
1566
01:13:15,352 --> 01:13:17,719
(Doug)
That's the main reason
right there
1567
01:13:17,720 --> 01:13:18,854
that The Reality Isn't Club
1568
01:13:18,855 --> 01:13:20,189
was ten times more popular
1569
01:13:20,190 --> 01:13:23,859
than Advanced Dungeons
& Dragons ever was.
1570
01:13:23,860 --> 01:13:26,328
This response
actually happens
1571
01:13:26,329 --> 01:13:27,963
when people read
The Book?
1572
01:13:27,964 --> 01:13:29,899
Ga!
1573
01:13:29,900 --> 01:13:31,200
Ha!
1574
01:13:31,201 --> 01:13:32,167
Sometimes.
1575
01:13:33,370 --> 01:13:34,970
How utterly curious.
1576
01:13:34,971 --> 01:13:36,972
Just stop talking
one moment, please.
1577
01:13:36,973 --> 01:13:38,107
(woman)
You didn't know
1578
01:13:38,108 --> 01:13:39,174
that happened?
1579
01:13:39,175 --> 01:13:40,809
(Bickford)
I had no idea.
1580
01:13:40,810 --> 01:13:43,512
I didn't intend for people
to ever read The Book.
1581
01:13:43,513 --> 01:13:46,715
But it escaped.
1582
01:13:46,716 --> 01:13:48,817
It had a will of its own,
I guess.
1583
01:13:48,818 --> 01:13:52,554
[people gasping]
1584
01:13:52,555 --> 01:13:53,956
Whoa.
1585
01:13:56,126 --> 01:14:01,397
So do we have a deal
or what?
1586
01:14:01,398 --> 01:14:03,966
You betcha.
1587
01:14:06,369 --> 01:14:09,371
[lively rock music]
1588
01:14:09,372 --> 01:14:16,345
� �
1589
01:14:16,346 --> 01:14:19,181
(Dressy Bessy)
� My dear,
I've painted a picture. �
1590
01:14:19,182 --> 01:14:21,817
� I've painted a picture
for the questioned wall. �
1591
01:14:21,818 --> 01:14:24,686
� I'll hang it up
with the rest soon, �
1592
01:14:24,687 --> 01:14:27,356
� right up with the next few
that come along. �
1593
01:14:27,357 --> 01:14:28,557
� One more. �
1594
01:14:28,558 --> 01:14:32,561
� There's room for just more. �
1595
01:14:32,562 --> 01:14:35,498
� Once more, make room
for just one more. �
1596
01:14:35,499 --> 01:14:37,032
Dad, it's Bick.
1597
01:14:37,033 --> 01:14:38,066
I had sex.
1598
01:14:38,067 --> 01:14:39,502
(Dad)
You had sex.
1599
01:14:39,503 --> 01:14:42,838
Yeah, a bunch of times.
1600
01:14:42,839 --> 01:14:45,407
I never knew
what I was missing.
1601
01:14:45,408 --> 01:14:47,443
Hmm.
1602
01:14:47,444 --> 01:14:51,247
The human body
is the most marvelous thing.
1603
01:14:51,248 --> 01:14:54,216
Well, that's good news,
I guess.
1604
01:14:54,217 --> 01:14:58,320
And you're being--
what's the expression--safe?
1605
01:14:58,321 --> 01:14:59,855
Uh, yeah.
1606
01:14:59,856 --> 01:15:02,791
And everything else is okay.
1607
01:15:02,792 --> 01:15:05,227
Everything's awesome.
Fundamentally.
1608
01:15:05,228 --> 01:15:07,496
That's awesome
that it's awesome.
1609
01:15:07,497 --> 01:15:08,497
I gotta go.
1610
01:15:08,498 --> 01:15:10,899
Okay. Bye, Bick.
1611
01:15:24,314 --> 01:15:26,348
(Sara)
What are you writing?
1612
01:15:29,286 --> 01:15:31,320
An epic poem.
1613
01:15:31,321 --> 01:15:33,822
An epic sex poem.
1614
01:15:33,823 --> 01:15:35,224
About you.
1615
01:15:35,225 --> 01:15:37,326
It's kind of a sequel
1616
01:15:37,327 --> 01:15:38,360
to The Book.
1617
01:15:38,361 --> 01:15:39,795
Is it a porno?
1618
01:15:39,796 --> 01:15:41,664
[laughs]
1619
01:15:45,001 --> 01:15:46,835
Yes.
1620
01:15:46,836 --> 01:15:50,072
[laughs]
1621
01:15:50,073 --> 01:15:53,242
But it's going to be smart
and crazy subversive.
1622
01:15:53,243 --> 01:15:57,446
Ooh, I like
crazy subversive.
1623
01:15:57,447 --> 01:16:00,749
(Simon & Garfunkel)
� Slow down.
You move too fast. �
1624
01:16:00,750 --> 01:16:03,686
� You got to make
the moment last. �
1625
01:16:03,687 --> 01:16:07,356
� Just kicking down
the cobblestones, �
1626
01:16:07,357 --> 01:16:12,894
� looking for fun
and feeling groovy. �
1627
01:16:12,895 --> 01:16:17,666
� Ba da-da da da da da,
feeling groovy. �
1628
01:16:17,667 --> 01:16:20,035
� �
1629
01:16:20,036 --> 01:16:21,503
� Hello, lamppost. �
1630
01:16:21,504 --> 01:16:22,971
� Whatcha knowing? �
1631
01:16:22,972 --> 01:16:26,174
� I've come to watch
your flowers growin'. �
1632
01:16:26,175 --> 01:16:29,712
� Ain't ya got
no rhymes for me? �
1633
01:16:29,713 --> 01:16:35,217
[electricity crackling]
1634
01:16:35,218 --> 01:16:38,220
� Ba da-da da da da da,
feeling groovy. �
1635
01:16:38,221 --> 01:16:40,822
Ah hoo!
1636
01:16:40,823 --> 01:16:44,727
� I got no deeds to do,
no promises to keep. �
1637
01:16:44,728 --> 01:16:47,162
� I'm dappled and drowsy
and ready to sleep. �
1638
01:16:47,163 --> 01:16:48,530
Bye!
1639
01:16:48,531 --> 01:16:51,233
� Let the morningtime drop
all its petals on me. �
1640
01:16:51,234 --> 01:16:52,767
� Life, I love you. �
1641
01:16:52,768 --> 01:16:55,971
� All is groovy. �
1642
01:16:55,972 --> 01:16:59,841
� Ba da da da da da da da.... �
109780
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