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1
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,474
Neighbors!
2
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,610
I have an announcement for you.
3
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:49,982
I have never seen such
a collection of dirty windows.
4
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:53,352
Now, I want to see all of you
out there on the fire escapes
5
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:57,523
with your Mr. clean bottles,
and let's snap it up!
6
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,192
Murray, do you have to shout
like that every morning?
7
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,261
Clears my head.
8
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,428
Say, Murray,
9
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,496
were you planning maybe today
to look for a job?
10
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:05,697
Do what?
11
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,132
Look for a job, Murray.
12
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,302
Murray
13
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,738
Murray, what did you
get me down here for?
14
00:01:12,807 --> 00:01:14,540
I mean, I just...
Nick, what time is it?
15
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:15,808
It's about 7:20.
16
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,744
Look, Murray, now, I have to...
17
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:24,316
Nick, in a moment, you're
going to see a horrible thing.
18
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,318
What's that?
19
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,422
People going to work.
20
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,769
Gee, Murray, I hope
it's not gonna be a long visit
21
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:20,926
with the junkman today.
22
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,272
I have something
I have to discuss with you.
23
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,229
Junkman?
24
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:27,866
Perruccio here is a dealer
in obsolete structures.
25
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,435
Are you still getting a buck for this?
26
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,703
Half a buck?
27
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,438
Perruccio...
28
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,439
2 bits.
29
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,341
Deal.
30
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,911
Murray, not another eagle.
31
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:44,249
Nick... You can't have
too many eagles.
32
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,785
Hey, wait a minute.
33
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,520
Why did you follow me down here?
34
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,222
Why aren't you in school today?
35
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,690
Well, it's a holiday.
36
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,693
Yeah, it's Irving r. Feldman's
birthday, like you said.
37
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,628
No, Irving r. Feldman's
birthday
38
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,730
is my own personal national holiday.
39
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,866
I did not open it up for the public.
40
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,367
He is proprietor of perhaps
41
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,636
the most distinguished
kosher delicatessen
42
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:05,937
in our neighborhood,
43
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,440
and, as such, I hold the day
of his birth in reverence.
44
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:11,043
Well, you said you weren't gonna
look for work today
45
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,245
'cause it was
Irving r. Feldman's birthday,
46
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,414
so I figured I'd celebrate, too,
a little.
47
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,417
Don't kid me, Nick.
48
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,886
I thought you liked
that damn genius school.
49
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,989
I figured I'd better stick
with you today...
50
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:26,091
Something I got to discuss.
51
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,928
See, because it's this
special school for big brains,
52
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,131
they watch you
and take notes and make reports
53
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,300
and they smile at you a lot.
54
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,371
Murray, they're very nervous there.
55
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,108
And there was this composition
I wrote in creative writing
56
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:46,211
about the advantages
of unemployment insurance.
57
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,313
Why did you write about that?
58
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:49,514
It's on my mind.
59
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,416
And once they got my record out,
60
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,486
they started to notice what
they call "significant data."
61
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,889
Turns out they've been keeping
this file on me for a long time,
62
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,292
checking with
that child-welfare place...
63
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,427
Same place you got those letters from.
64
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,597
I never answer letters
from large organizations.
65
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:06,843
Well, anyway, when they come over there,
66
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,907
I just thought we could...
67
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:10,602
Wait a minute.
When who comes over where?
68
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,505
Our apartment.
69
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,906
This child-welfare crowd...
70
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:17,476
They want to take a look
at our environment there.
71
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,644
Why didn't you tell me about this before?
72
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,480
Well, you know,
the past couple of nights,
73
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,548
we couldn't get together.
74
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,782
That was unavoidable.
75
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,917
You know, when I have a lot of work,
76
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,386
you stay up at Mrs. Myers.
77
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:30,789
Murray, your work
forgot her gloves last night.
78
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,360
Well, anyway,
for these child-welfare guys,
79
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,362
I figure we'd better set up
some kind of a story
80
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:38,897
this morning before they get there.
81
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,166
You know, you make it sound
like a vice raid.
82
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:42,801
I mean, for one thing, Murray,
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00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,703
you don't even have a job right now.
84
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,004
Hey, have you ever been
85
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,240
to the top of the empire state building?
86
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,142
Four times with you in November.
87
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,676
Really?
88
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,112
Have you ever been
to the statue of Liberty?
89
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,547
No, Murray, I...
90
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,783
Today is
Irving r. Feldman's birthday.
91
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,552
We shall go to the top
of the statue of Liberty
92
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,721
and watch the queen Elizabeth come in,
93
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:05,690
full of all those tired,
poor, huddled masses
94
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,325
yearning to breathe free.
95
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,154
Murray, will you listen to me?!
We have to...
96
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,913
Murray, couldn't I just
read you from the times again,
97
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,582
like last week?
98
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:35,187
Okay, read me from the paper.
99
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,326
Hey, Murray,
this paper is three days old.
100
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,028
So, what do you want me to do, bury it?
101
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,596
Is it starting to rot or something?
102
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,064
Come on, read me from the paper.
103
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:49,434
Yeah, but most of these jobs,
somebody must have taken them.
104
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,936
I'll go get a newer paper.
105
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,971
No, we do not need a newer paper.
106
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,507
All the really important jobs
stay forever.
107
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,977
Now, start on the first page
of "help wanted... male"
108
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,779
and read me from the paper.
109
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:01,980
Okay.
110
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:07,586
"Exec-assist, ex-oppty,
$90 to top sal."
111
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:08,920
What's that?
112
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,557
Executive assistant,
excellent opportunity, nothing.
113
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,626
Keep reading.
114
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,396
Hey, here's a perfect one.
115
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,898
It says, "writer wanted."
116
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,367
"Writer/editor, industrial periodicals.
117
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:25,070
"To write handbooks, reports,
and promotion
118
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,605
on electronic equipment."
119
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,173
Say, what you got there, kid...
120
00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:29,741
The want ads or the obituaries?
121
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,079
Okay, kid, read me some more want ads.
122
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,526
You know, Murray, you don't
want a job, is the whole thing.
123
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,695
Would you just concentrate
on being a child?
124
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:26,731
Because I find your imitation of
an adult hopelessly inadequate.
125
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,767
You want to be your own boss, Murray,
126
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,670
but the trouble with that is
you don't pay yourself anything.
127
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,639
You're not paying yourself anything.
128
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,375
Hey, that's a good line.
I got to remember that.
129
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:40,912
You ever consider being the
first 12-year-old boy in space?
130
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,815
Murray, I am upset.
131
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,850
Now, for me, as an actual child,
132
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,420
the way you live in this house
and we live
133
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,755
is a dangerous thing for my later life
134
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,757
when I become an actual person.
135
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,627
Now, an unemployed person,
like you are for so many months,
136
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,929
is bad for you as the person involved,
137
00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,931
and it's definitely bad for me,
138
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,133
who he lives with in the same house
139
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:05,070
where the rent isn't paid up
for months sometimes,
140
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,339
and I wish you'd get a job, Murray!
141
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,913
Please!
142
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,920
You're absolutely right.
143
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,567
What's wrong, Murray?
144
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,471
I don't know, Nick.
145
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:42,941
Murray, are you all right?
146
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:53,585
Hey... I enjoyed
the statue of Liberty a lot.
147
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:56,554
Hey, it was great.
I'm glad we went.
148
00:10:59,393 --> 00:11:01,393
Hey, it is a great view, isn't it?
149
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:04,162
Yeah.
150
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:07,499
Otto... Otto...
151
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,768
We have reached at last the mainland,
152
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,804
and we must now get the rocket
plans from agent x-22.
153
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,507
The French, you fool.
154
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:16,808
We is being observed.
155
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,110
It is essential we are not observed.
156
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,914
Hey, is you really
secret spy x-12?
157
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,082
I wouldn't tell you.
158
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,417
And why not?
159
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:26,985
Because it's a secret, you fool.
160
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,640
Hey, spy, listen,
I'll tell you something.
161
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,009
You know those poison capsules
they give us
162
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,343
to take when we get captured.
163
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,645
Ja?
164
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,658
I think I know how they're
giving them to us now, Otto.
165
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:56,815
What's that?
166
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,750
They're putting them
in the cracker Jacks.
167
00:11:58,819 --> 00:11:59,819
That... that's crazy.
168
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,586
That's a silly thing, what you said.
169
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:04,422
That's silly, that's silly.
That's a silly thing.
170
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,791
They are putting them in the
171
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,128
wait a second.
172
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:13,431
This... this is ridiculous.
173
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,267
They're putting the prize in the package!
174
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,237
It... Is... A killer.
175
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,972
Excuse me.
176
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,574
Are you Mr. burns?
177
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,976
Only for a couple more seconds, buddy.
178
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,411
They poisoned my cracker Jack.
179
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,413
Yes, I see.
180
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:31,716
You are
Murray n. Burns?
181
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,885
Excuse me.
How are you?
182
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,687
How do you do, Mr. burns?
183
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,891
I am Mr. amundson,
and this is miss markowitz.
184
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,094
Miss markowitz and I
are a social-service unit
185
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,096
from the child welfare board.
186
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,832
We have been asked by the bureau to...
187
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,468
And this must be young Nicholas.
188
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,103
Hello.
189
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,806
Mr. burns, we...
Miss markowitz and I
190
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:58,443
have been asked by the bcw
to investigate and examine
191
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:01,146
certain pupils of the revere school.
192
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:05,617
There's a... may we,
see you for a moment?
193
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,419
Certainly.
194
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,563
There is certain information
195
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,466
which the school and the city
would like to have,
196
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,334
regarding young Nicholas.
197
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,836
Here, won't you sit down.
198
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,405
I'll just get rid of these things.
199
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:32,143
I... I'd like to explain
just why we're here, Mr. burns.
200
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,746
Well, say,
would anybody like some coffee?
201
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,748
Well, thank you, Nicholas.
202
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:37,817
Miss markowitz?
203
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,951
Yes, thank you.
204
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,254
Watch it.
205
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,562
It might be best, Mr. burns,
for the child
206
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,364
if perhaps you were
to send him downstairs
207
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,568
to play or something
while we have our discussion.
208
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,103
Yes, it would be more advisable,
Mr. burns,
209
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,905
if the child were not present,
210
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,174
since miss markowitz will be discussing
211
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:04,542
the psychological area.
212
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,678
That is, we will be
discussing certain matters.
213
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,746
You gonna talk dirty?
214
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,450
I appreciate the, informality
215
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,720
with which you approach
this meeting, Mr. burns.
216
00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:18,423
However, due to the fact
that you have chosen
217
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,860
not to answer our letters and
several of our phone calls...
218
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:25,330
Miss markowitz,
may I know your first name?
219
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,265
It's Sandra.
220
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:31,469
And you are the psychologist
part of the team, Sandy?
221
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,072
That's right, Mr. burns.
222
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:38,343
And you, sir, I take it,
are the brawn of the outfit.
223
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,112
Perhaps I-i should explain,
Mr. burns,
224
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:45,149
that the social-service teams
which serve the revere school
225
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,853
are a carefully planned
balance of social caseworkers,
226
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:52,223
such as myself and...
Thank you, Nicholas...
227
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,959
And a psychological social worker,
228
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:58,997
such as miss markowitz...
Or, actually, Dr. markowitz.
229
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,932
Together, we form a rather...
230
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,800
Say, is the coffee any good?
231
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,570
Yes, very good.
Thank you, Nicholas.
232
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,472
Very nice, Nicholas.
233
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,274
Nicholas, are you drinking coffee?
234
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,209
Don't you think it would be better...
235
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,044
No, it's milk.
236
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,713
I like to drink it from a cup.
237
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,849
Now, aren't you ashamed of yourself?
238
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,453
Mr. burns,
Mr. amundson and I
239
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,556
have several cases to examine today,
240
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:29,327
and we would appreciate
a certain amount of cooperation.
241
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,728
East Bronx, mosholu parkway.
242
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,797
And a couple of years
in maybe Massachusetts.
243
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:33,898
No!
244
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,434
Excuse me.
245
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:40,138
Nick and I are merely testing
our sense of voice and accent.
246
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,074
Nick insists
he is better at this than I am.
247
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:46,144
Actually, I took my graduate
work with a professor...
248
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,780
A man with a very strong
new england accent,
249
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:51,516
who could very well have
influenced my speech.
250
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:52,750
Nick is quite right.
251
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,086
Wow, thank you, lady.
252
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:58,156
You certainly have
a fine ear for sound, Nick.
253
00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,958
Do you and your uncle play
254
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,527
many of these sorts of games together?
255
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,629
Well, yes, we play many wholesome
256
00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:06,898
and constructive-type games
together.
257
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,401
You're a big phony, Nick.
258
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,871
This lady is here for the facts.
259
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,373
Quite so, Mr. burns.
260
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:19,777
We wish also to investigate
those intangibles, those...
261
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,179
Jersey city.
262
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:24,582
Maybe Newark and a little bit of Chicago.
263
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,250
Aha, I think you hit it, Nick!
264
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,553
Well, that's really quite remarkable!
265
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,255
Albert... Mr. amundson...
Is from New Jersey.
266
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,558
He went to the university of Chicago.
267
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,327
Sandra, this is really
quite beside the point.
268
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:39,297
But, Albert, I think
it's really quite remarkable!
269
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,499
Suppose I just plunge right in here
270
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,868
with several of the facts required.
271
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,783
The honeydew melon's in season,
but they're not really ripe,
272
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,240
so I figured that the cantaloupe...
273
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,975
I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company.
274
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,143
See ya, Nick.
275
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,544
See ya, uncle Arnie.
276
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:58,616
There's somebody else
living here with you?
277
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,518
No, that's just my brother, Arnold.
278
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,121
He brings fruit every morning
on his way to the office.
279
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,255
He's a fruit nut.
280
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,591
Yes, I see in our files
281
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:09,961
that your brother acts as your agent.
282
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,896
Our research team spoke to him,
I believe.
283
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:15,666
Say... Do you really do
a lot of that stuff...
284
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,236
Calling people,
going into my personal life?
285
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,872
You've refused
for quite some time, Mr. burns,
286
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,174
to answer any of our regular inquiries.
287
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:26,477
We understand that you have been
unemployed, at this point,
288
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,912
for nearly five months...
289
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:30,548
Well, he has an excellent oppty
to be an exec-assist.
290
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,583
And that, previous to this,
291
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,152
you were the chief writer
292
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,554
for the "chuckles the chipmunk" show.
293
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,822
Right, Albert.
294
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,668
For three years,
I wrote scripts for Leo Herman,
295
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,492
better known as chuckles the chipmunk,
296
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,961
friend of the young'uns
and seller of chuckle chips,
297
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,297
the potato chips
your buddy chuckles the chipmunk
298
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,632
chomps on and chuckles over.
299
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,234
Would you care to describe
the circumstances
300
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,537
under which you left the employ of the...
301
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,305
I quit.
302
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,474
You felt that this was not
the work for you?
303
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:59,744
No, I felt that I wasn't
reaching all the boys and girls
304
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:01,679
out there in television land.
305
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,347
Actually, it was not so much
306
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,650
I wasn't reaching the boys and girls,
307
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,586
but the boys and girls
were starting to reach me.
308
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:11,622
Six months ago, a perfectly
adult bartender asked me
309
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,825
if I'd like an onion in my Martini,
310
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,427
and I said,
"gosh 'n' gollies, you betcha."
311
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,430
Well, I knew it was time to quit.
312
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,033
May I ask if this is a pattern?
313
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,267
That is, in the past,
314
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,603
has there been much shifting of position?
315
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,773
No, I always take an onion in my Martini.
316
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:30,875
This is a constant, and I...
317
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,045
Mr. burns,
perhaps you're not aware
318
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:37,548
of just how serious your situation is...
319
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,618
The circumstances
of the child's environment,
320
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:41,786
the danger of...
321
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,454
Our investigation,
Mr. burns...
322
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,223
substantial development and...
323
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,557
is the result
324
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:51,529
of what the bureau considers
to be almost an emergency case.
325
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,834
Yeah, but he just likes
to kid around, lady.
326
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,303
Really, we've got
a great environment here.
327
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,973
Relax, kid.
328
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,809
Look, people, I am sorry.
329
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:07,245
Let's get on with the questions.
330
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,514
Nick, suppose that you and I
331
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,216
have a little chat right here.
332
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:15,753
Fine, I was gonna suggest that myself.
333
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:23,895
Well, I'm sure there are times
when the fun stops
334
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,763
and you have nice talks
335
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,599
and your uncle teaches you things.
336
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,768
I can do a great Peter lorre imitation.
337
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,003
Murray taught me.
338
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,905
Nicky, what miss markowitz means...
339
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,040
You can't hang me.
340
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:37,875
Is that you and your uncle must...
341
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,310
I didn't do it, I tell you.
342
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,912
No, Nicky.
That's not my knife!
343
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,548
That's not what we mean.
It was all a mistake!
344
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,982
Nick...
I'm innocent!
345
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,250
I'm innocent!
346
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,019
Nicholas...
I...
347
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,188
That happens to be a very good imitation.
348
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:52,423
Well, perhaps,
but we're trying to establish...
349
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,358
Can you imitate Peter lorre?!
350
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:57,228
I can also do a pretty good James cagney.
351
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,597
I mean, it's not fantastic
like my Peter lorre,
352
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:00,765
now, Nicholas, please!
353
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,633
Try and pay attention.
354
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,669
Now, if I may proceed...
355
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:08,873
Albert, if you'll just
let me handle this area...
356
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:19,250
All right, Nick,
let's talk about games, okay?
357
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,484
Okay.
358
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,288
Now, do you have
any favorite games or toys
359
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,524
that you'd like to show me...
360
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:30,962
Some plaything that's just
the most favorite one of all?
361
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,332
There's bubbles.
362
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,901
I don't think you'd be
interested in seeing bubbles.
363
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:46,143
See, bubbles is what
you'd call an electric statue.
364
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,384
It's got an electric
battery timer in there
365
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,686
that makes it go on and off like that.
366
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,323
Is this your favorite toy, Nick?
367
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,759
Well, after a while,
it gets pretty boring.
368
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,995
Tell me, Nick, do you like best the fact
369
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,063
that the chest of the lady lights up?
370
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,298
Well, you got to admit,
371
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,333
you don't see boobies
like that every day.
372
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:12,603
Anybody want any toast
or orange juice or anything?
373
00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:18,042
Say, would you want to see the effect
374
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:21,445
when the lights are out
and when the room is dark?
375
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:27,151
Tell me, Nick, is that what
you like best about it...
376
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:30,421
The fact that you can be alone
in the dark with it?
377
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,656
Well, I don't know,
378
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:34,392
but, in the dark,
they really knock your eye out.
379
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:38,062
Perhaps, don't you think
we ought to turn off...
380
00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:41,766
Nick, does bubbles...
Does she in any way...
381
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,535
Does her face remind you at all
382
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:48,806
of, let me see,
your mother, for... for example?
383
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,241
No, it's just a doll.
384
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,710
It's not a statue of anybody I know.
385
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,812
I got it in a store downtown.
386
00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:57,315
H-her chest...
Is that something...
387
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:00,251
Well, it's something,
all right, isn't it?
388
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,920
When you think about your mother...
389
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,955
I don't think about her too much.
390
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:06,924
But when you do think about her,
391
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,660
do you remember her face best
or her hands or...
392
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:12,096
I remember, she has a terrific laugh.
393
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:15,399
See, it's the kind of laugh
that, when she laughs,
394
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,168
it... Makes you laugh, too.
395
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:20,404
Of course, she overdoes that a lot.
396
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:23,908
But I mean, physically,
when you think of her, do you...
397
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:26,143
Well, when you see bubbles there,
398
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:28,779
and bubbles goes on and off like that...
399
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,248
Sandra, his mother's chest
did not light up.
400
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,920
Mark that down in the file, Albert.
401
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:40,358
Nicky, I wonder
if you would turn those off...
402
00:22:40,426 --> 00:22:41,992
I mean, her off.
403
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:43,661
See, mainly, I like to read books
404
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,296
that are healthy, constructive,
405
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:47,231
and extremely educational for a person.
406
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,500
Don't push it, Nick.
407
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:52,002
He has no unusual fixations, Sandy.
408
00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:54,872
I mean, he's no more
abnormally interested
409
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:58,075
in your bust
than Mr. amundson is.
410
00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,911
Mr. burns, it is not necessary
to make that...
411
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,414
Of course, I might be wrong about that.
412
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,483
Our interest in that doll is...
413
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:08,619
Say, you really are interested
in that doll, Albert.
414
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,654
Our...
Our interest in the doll...
415
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,790
Well, I'd sell it to you for $2.
416
00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:15,126
That's 50 cents less than I paid for it.
417
00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:18,696
Sandra, I fail to see what's so amusing.
418
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:21,632
I'm sorry, Albert.
419
00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:23,868
Well, it was just funny.
420
00:23:25,037 --> 00:23:26,303
Suppose I pursue, then,
421
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:28,139
the psychological part
of this examination.
422
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,607
Really, Albert, I really do feel
423
00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:31,308
that it would be better if I were to...
424
00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:33,043
Look, Albert, the lady was just laughing
425
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:34,512
because something funny happened.
426
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,680
That's the best thing to do
under the circumstances.
427
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,149
Mr. burns...
428
00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:40,985
Say! How would you all like
to go to the statue of Liberty?
429
00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:43,421
Now, I have it on good authority
from the weather lady
430
00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:46,557
that today is a beautiful day.
431
00:23:46,626 --> 00:23:47,658
Mr. burns!
432
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:49,427
Now, this interview
has reached a point...
433
00:23:49,495 --> 00:23:51,595
I-I'm gonna get
my educational books now.
434
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:53,364
I-I left them
out on the street.
435
00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:55,833
Mr. burns, this interview
has reached a point...
436
00:23:55,902 --> 00:23:57,001
Mr. burns...
437
00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:58,736
Now, damn it, Sandra, don't interrupt me!
438
00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:01,305
For goodness' sakes, Albert.
439
00:24:01,374 --> 00:24:04,475
Sandra, perhaps we...
440
00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:06,610
Would you excuse us
for a moment, Mr. burns?
441
00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:08,813
I'd like to have a short
conference with Sandra...
442
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:13,350
Mi... Dr. markowitz...
For a moment, please.
443
00:24:17,190 --> 00:24:18,689
Dear, what are you doing?
444
00:24:18,758 --> 00:24:20,291
Have we lost all control?
445
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,594
Are you seriously talking to me
about control, Albert?
446
00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:25,196
Now, dear, I told you...
447
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,134
I told you,
and I told Dr. malko,
448
00:24:30,203 --> 00:24:33,704
it is much too soon for you
to be going out on cases.
449
00:24:33,773 --> 00:24:37,341
You need another year
in the office, behind the lines.
450
00:24:37,410 --> 00:24:40,277
I told you both.
You simply are not ready.
451
00:24:40,346 --> 00:24:42,980
Albert, you hardly let me get started.
452
00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:47,051
See, I was attempting to deal
on the basis of the whole child.
453
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,399
Three months out of grad school,
454
00:24:48,454 --> 00:24:50,199
and you want to go
right into the front lines.
455
00:24:50,223 --> 00:24:51,255
Really.
456
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,556
You get too involved, Sandra.
457
00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:56,260
Each case, you get
much too emotionally involved.
458
00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,662
Now, we are scientists, dear.
459
00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:00,464
You seem to lose sight of that fact.
460
00:25:00,533 --> 00:25:02,867
Albert, this is no way to deal
with this man's problem.
461
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:05,035
That's fine, that's fine.
462
00:25:05,104 --> 00:25:06,203
How are we doing?
463
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,640
You know, personally, I don't think
464
00:25:09,709 --> 00:25:12,243
you're going to solve
your problems with each other,
465
00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:15,713
but I'm glad you came to me,
because I think I can help you.
466
00:25:15,781 --> 00:25:18,382
Al, Sandy is not going to respect you
467
00:25:18,451 --> 00:25:19,984
because you threaten her.
468
00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:22,586
No, respect will have to come gradually,
469
00:25:22,655 --> 00:25:24,655
naturally, a maturing process.
470
00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:26,991
Mr. burns,
the child welfare board
471
00:25:27,059 --> 00:25:30,494
is thoroughly aware that
Nicholas is not legally adopted.
472
00:25:31,631 --> 00:25:34,031
Consequently, they have, I assure you...
473
00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:36,667
Now, you don't assure me
of anything, buddy.
474
00:25:36,736 --> 00:25:38,168
You make me damn nervous.
475
00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:40,571
Mr. burns,
according to the bcw,
476
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,173
the child's continuance in your home
477
00:25:43,242 --> 00:25:45,743
is in serious and immediate doubt.
478
00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:56,253
Burns, aren't you at all willing
to give some evidence
479
00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:59,023
in your favor for our report...
480
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:03,193
Some evidence to support
your competency as a guardian?
481
00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:11,802
All right, Albert.
482
00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:27,551
Look, folks, what's all the trouble?
483
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:28,919
Nick is my nephew.
484
00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:31,655
He's staying with me
for a while. He's visiting.
485
00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:33,457
How long has he been here?
486
00:26:33,526 --> 00:26:34,992
Seven years.
487
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:40,831
Nicholas' father...
Where is he?
488
00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:43,334
Well, that's not a "where" question?
489
00:26:43,402 --> 00:26:44,935
That's a "who" question.
490
00:26:45,004 --> 00:26:48,872
N-Nicholas' mother...
She is still alive?
491
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:52,509
My sister is unquestionably alive.
492
00:26:52,578 --> 00:26:54,945
But her responsibility to the child...
493
00:26:55,014 --> 00:26:56,580
Well, now, for five years,
494
00:26:56,649 --> 00:27:00,184
she did everything she could
for the child but get married.
495
00:27:00,252 --> 00:27:01,952
Now, that's not easy to understand,
496
00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:04,355
since she used to get married
to everybody.
497
00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:06,490
You might call Nick a bastard...
498
00:27:06,559 --> 00:27:07,791
Or a little bastard,
499
00:27:07,860 --> 00:27:10,861
depending upon how whimsical
you feel at the time.
500
00:27:12,331 --> 00:27:13,631
I tell ya, folks,
501
00:27:13,699 --> 00:27:16,834
I got a real social worker's
paradise here.
502
00:27:16,902 --> 00:27:20,838
Well, my sister Elaine
arrived here one day
503
00:27:20,906 --> 00:27:24,808
with two suitcases, a hatbox,
a blue parakeet,
504
00:27:24,877 --> 00:27:28,312
a dead goldfish,
and a 5-year-old child.
505
00:27:28,381 --> 00:27:29,847
A few days later,
506
00:27:29,915 --> 00:27:34,551
she went downstairs to buy
a pack of filter-tip cigarettes.
507
00:27:34,620 --> 00:27:35,786
Six years later,
508
00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:38,856
she returned for the suitcases
and the hatbox.
509
00:27:38,924 --> 00:27:41,258
Now, the parakeet, I'd given away.
510
00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:44,862
The goldfish, I had long since
flushed down the toilet.
511
00:27:44,930 --> 00:27:48,432
And the 5-year-old child
had, with very little effort,
512
00:27:48,501 --> 00:27:49,900
become 6 years older.
513
00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:52,770
When Elaine returned for her luggage,
514
00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:54,705
I reminded her of the child
515
00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:57,508
and the fact
of filter-tip cigarettes.
516
00:27:57,576 --> 00:28:03,213
And then, I don't know,
I slapped my sister.
517
00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:04,982
Sister cried at some length
518
00:28:05,051 --> 00:28:08,385
and then proceeded calmly,
briefly, to explain to me
519
00:28:08,454 --> 00:28:11,689
her well-practiced theory
on the meaning of life...
520
00:28:11,757 --> 00:28:15,192
A philosophy falling somewhere
to the left of whoopee.
521
00:28:15,261 --> 00:28:19,897
Well, that was almost a year
ago, and I still got Nick.
522
00:28:19,965 --> 00:28:24,134
But, I am sure she
must have had some concern
523
00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:27,304
about Nicholas...
About the child.
524
00:28:27,373 --> 00:28:30,040
His name is not Nicholas or even Nick.
525
00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:32,609
You see, not having given him
a last name,
526
00:28:32,678 --> 00:28:35,713
Elaine felt reticent
about assigning him a first one.
527
00:28:35,781 --> 00:28:38,916
How did you communicate with...
528
00:28:38,984 --> 00:28:41,485
I made a deal with him when he was 6,
529
00:28:41,554 --> 00:28:45,155
up to which time he was known
rather casually as chubby,
530
00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:47,991
that he could use
whatever name he wished,
531
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:51,428
for however long he wished,
until his 13th birthday,
532
00:28:51,497 --> 00:28:55,165
at which time he'd have to pick
a name he liked permanently.
533
00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:58,736
Now, he went through
a long period of dogs' names
534
00:28:58,804 --> 00:29:00,270
when he was little,
535
00:29:00,339 --> 00:29:04,007
king and rover having
a real vogue there for a while.
536
00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:09,446
For three months, he referred
to himself as big Sam.
537
00:29:09,515 --> 00:29:15,319
Then there was little Max,
snoopy, chip, rock, Rex, Mike,
538
00:29:15,387 --> 00:29:17,888
Marty, lamont, che...
539
00:29:22,728 --> 00:29:27,364
Chevrolet, woodrow, lefty, the phantom.
540
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:30,334
He received his library card last year
541
00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:32,903
in the name of Raphael sabatini.
542
00:29:32,972 --> 00:29:37,241
His cub scout membership lists
him as Dr. Morris fishbein.
543
00:29:37,309 --> 00:29:40,144
Nick seems to be the one
that'll stick, though.
544
00:29:40,212 --> 00:29:41,879
His mother... where...
545
00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:45,415
Elaine communicates
with my brother and myself
546
00:29:45,484 --> 00:29:47,351
almost entirely by rumor.
547
00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:52,723
Well, I don't
think I've left anything out.
548
00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:56,426
I was not aware that Nicholas
was an o.W. Child.
549
00:29:56,495 --> 00:29:57,928
O.W.?
550
00:29:59,165 --> 00:30:00,464
Out of wedlock.
551
00:30:00,533 --> 00:30:03,700
For a moment there, I thought
you meant "prisoner of war."
552
00:30:03,769 --> 00:30:06,570
I think it's that natural warmth
of yours, Albert,
553
00:30:06,639 --> 00:30:08,505
that leads me to misunderstand.
554
00:30:08,574 --> 00:30:12,843
Yes, but, as concerns the child...
555
00:30:12,912 --> 00:30:14,044
Where is the child?
556
00:30:14,113 --> 00:30:16,814
You preferred not having him
here anyway, Albert.
557
00:30:16,882 --> 00:30:18,382
I'm perfectly aware, Sandra,
558
00:30:18,450 --> 00:30:20,884
of what I prefer
and what I do not prefer.
559
00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:26,056
I don't care for that tone
of voice at all, Albert.
560
00:30:28,727 --> 00:30:31,962
Sandra, I understand perfectly
what has happened here.
561
00:30:32,031 --> 00:30:34,498
We have allowed this man to disturb us,
562
00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:36,867
and we have both gotten a bit upset.
563
00:30:36,936 --> 00:30:38,569
Now, I really do feel that it's time
564
00:30:38,637 --> 00:30:42,306
we got over to that family
problem in queens.
565
00:30:42,374 --> 00:30:44,808
It's there in your file...
The ledbetters...
566
00:30:44,877 --> 00:30:46,276
The introverted child.
567
00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:48,879
We've given an unreasonable
amount of time to this case.
568
00:30:48,948 --> 00:30:50,914
This interview,
I'm afraid, Mr. burns...
569
00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:53,750
Albert, I personally feel
that it would not be advisable
570
00:30:53,819 --> 00:30:56,486
to leave this particular case
at this particular time.
571
00:30:56,555 --> 00:30:58,422
Sandra, we have done here this morning...
572
00:30:58,490 --> 00:31:00,924
I feel that we've not really
given Mr. burns a chance.
573
00:31:00,993 --> 00:31:03,660
Sandra...
It's time we left for queens.
574
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,133
Here's the ledbetter file.
575
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:11,902
I'm staying here.
576
00:31:13,472 --> 00:31:14,472
Sandra...
577
00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:17,241
I've decided to pursue this case.
578
00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:20,310
Have we lost all professional control?
579
00:31:20,379 --> 00:31:24,381
You just go yourself to the leadbellies.
580
00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:28,652
You... Go on to queens,
why don't you?
581
00:31:28,721 --> 00:31:31,822
May I just talk to you
for a moment, please?
582
00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:36,326
Dear, what is this?
583
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:37,828
What's happened to you today?
584
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:39,029
What are you doing?
585
00:31:39,098 --> 00:31:41,064
I am doing what I think is right.
586
00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:43,901
I understand how you feel,
but there's nothing...
587
00:31:43,969 --> 00:31:46,970
Are you really going to leave
that man here like that?
588
00:31:47,039 --> 00:31:48,872
You're not going to try to help him
589
00:31:48,941 --> 00:31:51,808
or tell him about the board
separating him from the child?
590
00:31:51,877 --> 00:31:52,943
I mean, just so cold.
591
00:31:53,012 --> 00:31:55,345
Darling, of course I want to help,
592
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:56,813
but, let's not forget,
593
00:31:56,882 --> 00:31:59,950
the child is the one
who needs our protection.
594
00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:02,152
Listen, you have...
You have spent too much time
595
00:32:02,221 --> 00:32:04,755
in that graduate school and
not enough time in the field.
596
00:32:04,823 --> 00:32:06,256
You've got to learn your job.
597
00:32:06,325 --> 00:32:07,991
Don't give me any of that nonsense.
598
00:32:08,060 --> 00:32:10,093
This is not the time
nor the place for this.
599
00:32:10,162 --> 00:32:12,763
You know, graduate school
wouldn't have done you any harm,
600
00:32:12,831 --> 00:32:13,931
believe me.
601
00:32:13,999 --> 00:32:16,767
That's the most terrible thing!
602
00:32:16,835 --> 00:32:18,402
Do you know what you are, Albert?
603
00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:21,004
You're...
604
00:32:21,073 --> 00:32:23,440
I don't know,
but I'll think of something.
605
00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:27,778
Mr. burns...
Mr. burns, you can assume...
606
00:32:27,846 --> 00:32:29,947
Mr. burns?
607
00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:37,354
Mr. burns...
608
00:32:37,423 --> 00:32:39,523
You can assume, at this point,
609
00:32:39,591 --> 00:32:43,160
that miss markowitz is no longer
involved with your case.
610
00:32:43,228 --> 00:32:45,429
Now, the board will be informed
611
00:32:45,497 --> 00:32:49,132
that she's no longer involved
with this particular case.
612
00:32:49,201 --> 00:32:52,703
And her continuing to discuss
your case at this point
613
00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:54,571
is entirely unofficial.
614
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,808
You can dismiss any, conference
615
00:32:57,876 --> 00:33:02,145
which may resume when I leave...
A-after I leave here...
616
00:33:02,214 --> 00:33:04,748
From your mind.
617
00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:07,784
And regardless of what you think of me...
618
00:33:07,853 --> 00:33:10,454
I think
you're a dirty o.W.
619
00:33:17,062 --> 00:33:19,329
And do you know what you are?
620
00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:21,898
Maladjusted.
621
00:33:21,967 --> 00:33:23,467
Ew!
622
00:33:26,238 --> 00:33:28,638
Good afternoon, Mr. burns.
623
00:33:28,707 --> 00:33:30,741
Good afternoon, Sandra.
624
00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:45,956
Mr. burns?
625
00:33:48,994 --> 00:33:54,197
Mr. burns,
I must apologize to you.
626
00:33:54,266 --> 00:33:57,267
We...
627
00:33:57,336 --> 00:33:59,036
We have put you...
628
00:33:59,104 --> 00:34:03,206
You have been put at
a disadvantage this morning...
629
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:04,541
Mr. burns,
630
00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:08,078
because you've been involved
in a personal problem...
631
00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:11,615
That has, nothing whatsoever to do
632
00:34:11,683 --> 00:34:15,152
with your, particular case.
633
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:18,789
It's entirely wrong for me
to give you this impression
634
00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:21,291
of our,
635
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,563
do you know what?
636
00:34:26,632 --> 00:34:27,864
What?
637
00:34:27,933 --> 00:34:30,367
I hate the ledbetters!
638
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,915
I'm sure, once I got to know
them, I'd hate them, too.
639
00:34:33,939 --> 00:34:36,373
Mr. burns,
you don't understand.
640
00:34:36,442 --> 00:34:38,241
Some of the cases, I love.
641
00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:40,077
And some of them, I hate.
642
00:34:40,145 --> 00:34:42,612
And that's all wrong for my work.
643
00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:44,448
But I can't help it.
644
00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:48,952
I hate Raymond ledbetter,
and he's only 9 years old.
645
00:34:49,021 --> 00:34:52,489
But some of them...
Some of them, I like too much,
646
00:34:52,558 --> 00:34:55,125
and I worry about them all day long.
647
00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:56,893
It is an obvious conflict
648
00:34:56,962 --> 00:34:59,496
against all professional standards.
649
00:34:59,565 --> 00:35:03,800
I didn't like Raymond ledbetter,
so I tried to understand him.
650
00:35:03,869 --> 00:35:06,903
And now that I understand him,
I hate him.
651
00:35:09,108 --> 00:35:14,411
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
652
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:18,248
Albert is gone, and I just lost my job.
653
00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:22,385
I wrote out what my married name
would be...
654
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:26,756
On a paper napkin
last night after dinner...
655
00:35:26,825 --> 00:35:31,595
Mrs. Albert amundson...
To see how it would look.
656
00:35:34,032 --> 00:35:36,633
We were going to be married.
657
00:35:36,702 --> 00:35:39,469
It was all planned.
658
00:35:39,538 --> 00:35:44,474
Mrs. Albert amundson
on a napkin.
659
00:35:46,078 --> 00:35:48,478
You have to understand Albert.
660
00:35:48,547 --> 00:35:52,449
He's really a very nice person
when he's not on cases.
661
00:35:52,518 --> 00:35:56,453
He's a very intelligent man.
662
00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:58,955
Last month, I fell asleep on him twice
663
00:35:59,024 --> 00:36:01,191
while he was talking to me.
664
00:36:01,260 --> 00:36:03,426
Do you have to sit there?
665
00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:05,428
Please go away.
666
00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:10,967
Why don't you go away?
667
00:36:11,036 --> 00:36:12,502
But I live here.
668
00:36:12,571 --> 00:36:15,739
I would like everybody to go away.
669
00:36:15,807 --> 00:36:18,575
Could I get you a pastrami sandwich?
670
00:36:18,644 --> 00:36:20,210
I don't even know you!
671
00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:22,779
I am crying right in front of you!
672
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,748
Please go away!
673
00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:29,886
Now, you're really going to
have to stop crying,
674
00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:32,088
because I'm going out of my mind here.
675
00:36:32,157 --> 00:36:33,390
I cry all the time,
676
00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:36,359
and I laugh in the wrong places
in the movie.
677
00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:40,697
I am unsuited to my profession.
678
00:36:40,766 --> 00:36:42,566
I can't do anything right.
679
00:36:42,634 --> 00:36:45,468
Last night, I burned an entire chicken.
680
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:47,671
And after seven years of school,
681
00:36:47,739 --> 00:36:50,440
I can't work,
and I've got no place to go.
682
00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:51,541
An entire chicken.
683
00:36:53,445 --> 00:36:56,179
This is an awful day.
684
00:36:56,248 --> 00:36:58,415
What am I going to do?
685
00:36:58,483 --> 00:37:03,286
Miss markowitz, this is a beautiful day.
686
00:37:03,355 --> 00:37:05,488
And I'll tell you why.
687
00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:10,227
You're really a jolly old girl,
and you are well rid of Albert.
688
00:37:10,295 --> 00:37:12,195
You have been given the rare opportunity
689
00:37:12,264 --> 00:37:15,999
of returning the unused portion
and having your money refunded.
690
00:37:16,068 --> 00:37:20,470
But my work...
What am I going to do?
691
00:37:20,539 --> 00:37:23,673
But you're a lover,
Dr. markowitz.
692
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:27,577
You are a lover of things and of people,
693
00:37:27,646 --> 00:37:30,046
so you took up work
where you could get at
694
00:37:30,115 --> 00:37:31,648
as many of them as possible,
695
00:37:31,717 --> 00:37:34,517
and it just turned out
there were too many of them
696
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:37,420
and too much that moves you.
697
00:37:37,489 --> 00:37:39,723
But, damn it, be glad it turned out
698
00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:42,025
you're not reasonable and sensible.
699
00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:45,095
Have all the gratitude you can
that you're capable
700
00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:49,399
of embarrassment and joy
and are a marathon crier.
701
00:37:50,736 --> 00:37:53,803
There is a kind of relief
that it's gone...
702
00:37:53,872 --> 00:37:55,705
The job and even Albert.
703
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:58,174
But I know what it is.
704
00:37:58,243 --> 00:38:00,410
It's just irresponsible, that's all,
705
00:38:00,479 --> 00:38:02,879
and I don't have
the vaguest idea who I am.
706
00:38:02,948 --> 00:38:05,782
It's just that there are
all these sandras running around
707
00:38:05,851 --> 00:38:07,250
who you've never met before,
708
00:38:07,319 --> 00:38:10,587
and it's confusing, at first, fantastic.
709
00:38:10,656 --> 00:38:13,189
But, damn it, isn't it great to find out
710
00:38:13,258 --> 00:38:14,858
how many sandras there are?
711
00:38:14,926 --> 00:38:18,094
It's like those little cars
in the circus, you know.
712
00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:22,098
This tiny, red car comes out,
hardly big enough for a midget,
713
00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:24,467
and it putters around.
714
00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:27,904
And, suddenly, its doors open,
715
00:38:27,973 --> 00:38:30,473
and out come a thousand clowns
716
00:38:30,542 --> 00:38:33,343
whooping and hollering and raising hell.
717
00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:41,452
What's this?
718
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,820
That is my undershirt.
719
00:38:43,889 --> 00:38:47,757
Now, how's about going to the
empire state building with me?
720
00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,659
I'll have that coffee now.
721
00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:53,296
Didn't answer my question. Would you
like to visit the empire state building?
722
00:38:53,365 --> 00:38:55,665
No, not really.
723
00:38:55,734 --> 00:38:57,901
Well, then, how about the zoo?
724
00:38:57,969 --> 00:38:59,703
Not just now.
725
00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:01,237
Well, then, will you marry me?
726
00:39:02,474 --> 00:39:03,474
What?
727
00:39:03,542 --> 00:39:05,408
Just a bit of shock treatment there.
728
00:39:05,477 --> 00:39:07,310
I have found, after long experience,
729
00:39:07,379 --> 00:39:09,713
it's the quickest way
to get a woman's attention
730
00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:10,847
when her mind wanders.
731
00:39:10,916 --> 00:39:11,916
Always works.
732
00:39:13,151 --> 00:39:14,184
Mr. burns...
733
00:39:14,252 --> 00:39:16,453
No, no, now that you've cried,
734
00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:18,388
you can't call me
Mr. burns.
735
00:39:18,457 --> 00:39:21,157
Same thing goes for laughing.
736
00:39:21,226 --> 00:39:22,359
My name is Murray.
737
00:39:22,427 --> 00:39:25,762
Well, Murray,
738
00:39:25,831 --> 00:39:27,864
to sort of return to reality
for a moment...
739
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:31,234
I'll only go as a tourist.
740
00:39:31,303 --> 00:39:35,138
Murray...
The child welfare board
741
00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:36,773
could really take Nick away,
742
00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:39,342
but there's some things
that you could do about it
743
00:39:39,411 --> 00:39:41,311
to make your case a little stronger.
744
00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:44,814
Sandra, do you realize
you are not wearing your shoes?
745
00:39:50,689 --> 00:39:53,156
Well, here I am with
some of my favorite books...
746
00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:55,558
"fun in the rain,"
"the young railroader,"
747
00:39:55,627 --> 00:39:57,794
"great philosophers,"
"science for youth,"
748
00:39:57,863 --> 00:39:59,095
and a Spanish dictionary.
749
00:39:59,164 --> 00:40:01,798
I left them out on the street
when I was playing, and I...
750
00:40:01,867 --> 00:40:04,300
Nick, you just killed a whole
month's allowance for nothing.
751
00:40:04,369 --> 00:40:07,303
Miss markowitz
isn't even on our case anymore.
752
00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:10,206
I shouldn't have left.
753
00:40:10,275 --> 00:40:12,509
You got angry and insulted everybody.
754
00:40:12,577 --> 00:40:14,544
Nothing to worry about.
755
00:40:14,613 --> 00:40:18,448
Well, $4 right out the window.
756
00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:23,286
We're in real trouble now, right, lady?
757
00:40:23,355 --> 00:40:26,222
Nick! Nick!
758
00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:29,192
We have a guest...
A music lover.
759
00:40:29,261 --> 00:40:32,262
Let us play our song.
760
00:40:33,565 --> 00:40:35,165
Come on, I'm sure it'll be requested.
761
00:40:35,233 --> 00:40:37,600
Murray, you know, we can't play
songs at a time like this.
762
00:40:37,669 --> 00:40:39,836
Come on, old man, where's
your professional attitude?
763
00:40:41,373 --> 00:40:42,772
This is no time to play songs.
764
00:41:48,073 --> 00:41:50,173
Nice to meet you, lady.
I'll see you around.
765
00:41:50,242 --> 00:41:51,441
Where you off to, Nick?
766
00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:53,643
I'm gonna leave my stuff
over at Mrs. Myers.
767
00:41:53,712 --> 00:41:55,912
See, I figure I'll be
staying up there tonight.
768
00:42:19,971 --> 00:42:22,839
Murray, who do you know
who's leaving on that boat?
769
00:42:22,908 --> 00:42:25,074
Nobody.
I don't get jealous that way.
770
00:42:25,143 --> 00:42:27,143
Hey, atta way to go, Charlie baby!
771
00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:28,278
Have a great trip!
772
00:42:28,346 --> 00:42:29,512
Bon voyage, Charlie!
773
00:42:29,581 --> 00:42:31,614
That's the way!
Have a good trip!
774
00:42:31,683 --> 00:42:33,716
You see, it's a great thing to do
775
00:42:33,785 --> 00:42:36,219
when you're about to start something new.
776
00:42:36,288 --> 00:42:37,420
You see a boat off.
777
00:42:37,489 --> 00:42:41,357
It gives you the genuine feeling
of a beginning.
778
00:42:41,426 --> 00:42:45,328
Hey, bon voyage, Charlie!
Have a wonderful time!
779
00:42:45,397 --> 00:42:48,965
Bon voyage, Charlie!
Have a wonderful time!
780
00:42:50,135 --> 00:42:51,234
Bon voyage, Charlie!
781
00:42:51,303 --> 00:42:52,535
Have a wonderful time!
782
00:42:52,604 --> 00:42:53,803
Have a wonderful time!
783
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:41,584
Wall street...
The lovely view!
784
00:43:41,653 --> 00:43:43,519
The hell with the view.
785
00:43:43,588 --> 00:43:48,091
Right now, at this hour,
it's just me and all that money.
786
00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:53,162
Right now, I'm all alone with $2 billion
787
00:43:53,231 --> 00:43:56,466
in cash, checks, and securities.
788
00:43:56,534 --> 00:43:58,234
And me.
789
00:43:58,303 --> 00:43:59,636
I'm here, too.
790
00:44:02,774 --> 00:44:03,840
Yes, you are, lady.
791
00:44:53,658 --> 00:44:55,892
Light.
792
00:45:06,071 --> 00:45:08,504
No matter what time of day
or what season,
793
00:45:08,573 --> 00:45:10,840
I got a permanent picture out there...
794
00:45:10,909 --> 00:45:12,775
Twilight in February.
795
00:45:12,844 --> 00:45:14,077
One of these mornings,
796
00:45:14,145 --> 00:45:16,145
I'll wake up and that damn building
797
00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:18,347
will have fallen down into 7th Avenue
798
00:45:18,416 --> 00:45:19,782
so I can see the weather.
799
00:45:21,419 --> 00:45:24,587
Using a machine
to call up another machine.
800
00:45:24,656 --> 00:45:27,990
I do not enjoy the company of ghosts.
801
00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:32,095
Hello, weather lady.
802
00:45:32,163 --> 00:45:34,997
Well, I'm fine, and how's your
nasal little self this morning?
803
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:36,966
What's the weather?
804
00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:39,368
That high?
805
00:45:39,437 --> 00:45:40,737
And the wind?
806
00:45:40,805 --> 00:45:43,139
Which way does the wind blow
this morning?
807
00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:45,374
Very good.
808
00:45:45,443 --> 00:45:47,777
All the way from eastport
to block island?
809
00:45:47,846 --> 00:45:51,247
Chance of showers?
810
00:45:51,316 --> 00:45:53,549
Hey, what exactly does that mean?
811
00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:57,053
There you go again.
812
00:45:57,122 --> 00:45:59,088
You simply must learn
not to repeat yourself.
813
00:45:59,157 --> 00:46:01,691
I keep telling you every morning
that once is enough.
814
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:03,526
Well, you'll never learn.
815
00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,995
Chance of showers?
816
00:46:09,868 --> 00:46:12,502
Hello, is this someone
with good news or money?
817
00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:14,270
No? Goodbye.
818
00:46:19,644 --> 00:46:21,811
This is your neighbor speaking.
819
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,013
I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say
820
00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:26,649
that something must be done
about your garbage cans
821
00:46:26,718 --> 00:46:27,984
in the alley here.
822
00:46:28,052 --> 00:46:30,686
It is definitely
second-rate garbage!
823
00:46:30,755 --> 00:46:35,091
Now, by next week, I want to see
a better class of garbage...
824
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,961
More empty champagne bottles
and caviar cans!
825
00:46:39,030 --> 00:46:41,097
I'm sure you're all behind me on this,
826
00:46:41,166 --> 00:46:45,334
so let's snap it up and get on the ball!
827
00:46:55,013 --> 00:46:56,179
Good morning.
828
00:46:57,982 --> 00:46:59,649
Good morning.
829
00:46:59,717 --> 00:47:01,818
How are you this morning?
830
00:47:01,886 --> 00:47:04,720
I am fine this morning.
How are you?
831
00:47:04,789 --> 00:47:06,756
I am fine, also.
832
00:47:09,394 --> 00:47:11,427
Do you have a bathrobe?
833
00:47:11,496 --> 00:47:12,929
Yes, I have a bathrobe.
834
00:47:12,997 --> 00:47:15,598
May I have your bathrobe, please?
835
00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:19,702
Well, I'll get you Nick's.
It'll fit you better.
836
00:47:19,771 --> 00:47:22,238
Sounds like a good idea.
837
00:47:22,307 --> 00:47:23,773
There you go.
838
00:47:23,842 --> 00:47:25,808
Thank you.
839
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:35,785
It's 11:15, and there is
a chance of showers.
840
00:47:40,792 --> 00:47:42,692
Does the bathrobe fit?
841
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,194
This bathrobe fits fine.
842
00:47:49,267 --> 00:47:51,934
Did you happen to see my clothes?
843
00:47:52,003 --> 00:47:56,138
They're in the bathroom.
Shall I get them?
844
00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:57,940
No, thank you.
845
00:48:01,946 --> 00:48:05,281
This isn't the bathroom.
This is the kitchen.
846
00:48:05,350 --> 00:48:07,350
Here are your clothes,
847
00:48:07,418 --> 00:48:10,620
also toothpaste and a toothbrush.
848
00:48:10,688 --> 00:48:12,655
Thank you!
849
00:48:14,792 --> 00:48:15,725
Morning, Murray.
850
00:48:15,793 --> 00:48:17,026
Good morning, Arnold.
851
00:48:20,431 --> 00:48:21,530
Say, Murray...
852
00:48:21,599 --> 00:48:24,200
Chuckles called me again yesterday,
853
00:48:24,269 --> 00:48:27,570
and I told him
I would talk to you, that's all.
854
00:48:27,639 --> 00:48:29,839
Jimmy Sloan's in from the coast.
855
00:48:29,908 --> 00:48:32,942
He's putting a new
panel-show package together.
856
00:48:33,011 --> 00:48:36,245
You know, Arnold, you have
many successful clients.
857
00:48:37,448 --> 00:48:39,026
With all these successful people around,
858
00:48:39,050 --> 00:48:40,850
where are all of our new, young failures
859
00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:42,685
going to come from?
860
00:48:42,754 --> 00:48:45,121
Murray, those people
I saw here yesterday...
861
00:48:45,189 --> 00:48:47,623
They were from the...
From the welfare board.
862
00:48:47,692 --> 00:48:49,558
Is that right?
I tried to warn you.
863
00:48:49,627 --> 00:48:51,260
There's nothing to worry about.
864
00:48:51,329 --> 00:48:53,062
What are you saying, nothing to worry?
865
00:48:53,131 --> 00:48:55,331
The welfare people don't
kid around. Now, do they?
866
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,466
Arnold, I don't mind you
coming here with fruit
867
00:48:57,535 --> 00:48:58,668
if you'll keep quiet,
868
00:48:58,736 --> 00:49:00,503
but you bring a word with every apple.
869
00:49:03,274 --> 00:49:04,907
Is Nick all right?
870
00:49:04,976 --> 00:49:06,809
Now, everything's okay.
871
00:49:06,878 --> 00:49:08,411
Bye, Murray.
872
00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:10,012
Bye, Arnold.
873
00:49:32,570 --> 00:49:35,071
You know, yesterday was the first time
874
00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:37,974
that I'd ever visited
the statue of Liberty.
875
00:49:38,042 --> 00:49:41,143
Funny how you can live
in a city for so long
876
00:49:41,212 --> 00:49:44,714
and not visit one of
its most fascinating sights.
877
00:49:46,484 --> 00:49:48,818
Yes, that is funny.
878
00:50:11,642 --> 00:50:14,477
This coffee isn't bad
for yesterday's coffee.
879
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:17,980
I think it's very good
for yesterday's coffee.
880
00:50:27,925 --> 00:50:31,060
Good to the last drop.
881
00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:32,795
That's right.
882
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:40,903
I have to go now.
883
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,507
Yes.
884
00:50:44,575 --> 00:50:47,343
I have to be on my way.
885
00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:51,347
Well, don't forget your file.
886
00:50:52,483 --> 00:50:54,116
My file.
887
00:51:01,959 --> 00:51:03,292
Bye.
888
00:51:03,361 --> 00:51:04,994
Goodbye.
889
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:17,006
You crazy nut!
I was ready to kill ya!
890
00:51:17,075 --> 00:51:18,974
What happened?
You didn't say anything.
891
00:51:19,043 --> 00:51:21,577
Well, I didn't know
what was going on. I...
892
00:51:21,646 --> 00:51:22,711
Don't let me go!
893
00:51:22,780 --> 00:51:26,682
I'm just putting my coffee cup down here.
894
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:29,618
Murray, I thought about it...
895
00:51:29,687 --> 00:51:32,221
And I probably love you.
896
00:51:32,290 --> 00:51:34,557
That's very romantic.
897
00:51:38,696 --> 00:51:40,162
I probably love you, too.
898
00:54:07,979 --> 00:54:09,111
Rah!
899
00:54:09,180 --> 00:54:11,380
We'll have to do something
about curtains.
900
00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:13,082
We need color there, Murray.
901
00:54:13,150 --> 00:54:16,051
I hope you didn't mind about
the screen around the bed.
902
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,887
I think it gives such
a nice separate-bedroom effect
903
00:54:18,956 --> 00:54:20,256
to that part of the room.
904
00:54:20,324 --> 00:54:22,358
There's so many wonderful things
905
00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:25,561
you can do with
a one-room apartment, really,
906
00:54:25,630 --> 00:54:28,264
if you're willing to use
your imagination.
907
00:54:31,569 --> 00:54:33,202
Do you have an extra key?
908
00:54:33,271 --> 00:54:34,637
A what?
909
00:54:34,705 --> 00:54:38,173
An extra key. Altman's has
this terrific curtain sale.
910
00:54:38,242 --> 00:54:39,441
Sure, a key.
911
00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:42,678
I thought I would go over and...
912
00:54:42,747 --> 00:54:45,014
Hey, you know what, Sandy?
913
00:54:45,082 --> 00:54:47,983
I don't seem to have one...
An extra key.
914
00:54:53,724 --> 00:54:55,891
You better answer that, Murray.
915
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,661
You, sure you don't prefer to...
916
00:54:58,729 --> 00:55:01,997
No, I have no reason to hide
from anybody.
917
00:55:02,066 --> 00:55:04,667
Aha.
918
00:55:07,772 --> 00:55:09,338
Good morning, Mr. burns.
919
00:55:14,779 --> 00:55:16,278
How are you?
920
00:55:16,347 --> 00:55:17,613
May I come in?
921
00:55:17,682 --> 00:55:18,881
Sure.
922
00:55:21,852 --> 00:55:25,354
I... I called you this morning,
Mr. burns.
923
00:55:25,423 --> 00:55:27,289
That was you?
924
00:55:27,358 --> 00:55:28,757
That was me.
925
00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:32,428
Miss markowitz did not show up
in queens yesterday.
926
00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:33,729
So?
927
00:55:33,798 --> 00:55:36,732
Well, her parents are quite upset.
928
00:55:36,801 --> 00:55:39,468
I am quite upset.
929
00:55:39,537 --> 00:55:40,969
Where is she?
930
00:55:41,038 --> 00:55:42,538
She's hiding in the closet.
931
00:55:44,575 --> 00:55:47,643
Now, we're really all quite
anxious to know where she is.
932
00:55:50,114 --> 00:55:52,481
I'm not kidding, Albert.
She's in the closet.
933
00:56:11,569 --> 00:56:13,135
She is in the closet.
934
00:56:13,204 --> 00:56:15,604
I wouldn't lie to you, Albert.
935
00:56:17,875 --> 00:56:19,541
Why is she in the closet?
936
00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:21,143
I don't know.
937
00:56:21,212 --> 00:56:24,947
She's got this thing about closets.
938
00:56:25,015 --> 00:56:28,117
Well, that's a very silly thing
for her to be in...
939
00:56:28,185 --> 00:56:29,451
That closet.
940
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,554
Well, don't knock it until you tried it.
941
00:56:32,623 --> 00:56:35,824
Now, what else can I do for you, Albert?
942
00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:38,927
That's a difficult thing
for me to believe.
943
00:56:38,996 --> 00:56:42,698
I mean, that she's
right there in the closet.
944
00:56:42,767 --> 00:56:45,567
You know, you are not a person,
Mr. burns.
945
00:56:45,636 --> 00:56:47,069
You are an experience.
946
00:56:47,138 --> 00:56:49,471
That's very nice, Albert.
947
00:56:49,540 --> 00:56:51,974
I'll have to remember that.
948
00:56:56,247 --> 00:57:01,016
Actually, Dr. markowitz is not
the reason for my visit today.
949
00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:03,719
I came here in an official capacity.
950
00:57:03,788 --> 00:57:05,754
Coffee?
951
00:57:05,823 --> 00:57:07,089
No, thank you.
952
00:57:22,673 --> 00:57:26,475
Now, what's on your mind, Albert?
953
00:57:30,314 --> 00:57:32,381
Burns...
954
00:57:32,450 --> 00:57:35,017
Late yesterday afternoon,
955
00:57:35,085 --> 00:57:39,688
the child welfare board
made a decision on your case.
956
00:57:39,757 --> 00:57:42,925
Now, the decision they've reached
957
00:57:42,993 --> 00:57:46,728
is based on three months
of a thorough study.
958
00:57:46,797 --> 00:57:50,365
Our interview yesterday
was only a small part of that.
959
00:57:50,434 --> 00:57:52,801
Quite thorough.
960
00:57:55,906 --> 00:57:58,807
I want you to understand that
I am not responsible personally
961
00:57:58,876 --> 00:58:00,609
for the decision they've reached.
962
00:58:00,678 --> 00:58:01,777
Now, look, Albert...
963
00:58:01,846 --> 00:58:04,079
Months of research by the board
964
00:58:04,148 --> 00:58:06,548
and reports by the revere school
965
00:58:06,617 --> 00:58:09,218
show a severe domestic instability,
966
00:58:09,286 --> 00:58:11,220
a libertine self-indulgence,
967
00:58:11,288 --> 00:58:13,555
a whole range of circumstances
968
00:58:13,624 --> 00:58:16,758
severely detrimental
to the child's welfare.
969
00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:19,695
Hey, stop tap-dancing
a second, Albert.
970
00:58:19,763 --> 00:58:22,064
Now, what's going on?
971
00:58:22,132 --> 00:58:25,067
Well, it is the board's decision
that you are unfit
972
00:58:25,135 --> 00:58:27,135
to be the guardian of your nephew
973
00:58:27,204 --> 00:58:29,404
and that action be taken this Friday
974
00:58:29,473 --> 00:58:31,039
to remove him from this home
975
00:58:31,108 --> 00:58:34,810
and the deprivation you cause him.
976
00:58:34,879 --> 00:58:38,080
Who writes your material
for you... Charles dickens?
977
00:58:44,648 --> 00:58:49,551
The board is prepared to find
a more stable, permanent home
978
00:58:49,620 --> 00:58:51,253
for your nephew...
979
00:58:51,322 --> 00:58:54,957
A family with whom he will live
a more wholesome, normal life.
980
00:58:55,026 --> 00:58:58,961
Hey, listen, Albert, isn't there
some kind of a hearing?
981
00:58:59,030 --> 00:59:02,131
Well, yes, you will have
the opportunity Thursday
982
00:59:02,199 --> 00:59:04,366
to state your case to the board.
983
00:59:04,435 --> 00:59:07,036
Now, if there is some substantial change
984
00:59:07,104 --> 00:59:08,504
in your circumstances,
985
00:59:08,572 --> 00:59:09,972
if you can demonstrate
986
00:59:10,041 --> 00:59:13,008
that you are a responsible
member of society...
987
00:59:13,077 --> 00:59:14,276
Well, this is Tuesday.
988
00:59:14,345 --> 00:59:16,812
What the hell am I supposed
to do in the next two days,
989
00:59:16,881 --> 00:59:18,180
win the nobel peace prize?
990
00:59:20,684 --> 00:59:24,253
You were to be informed
by the court, but...
991
00:59:24,321 --> 00:59:27,022
In view of the confusion
which took place here yesterday,
992
00:59:27,091 --> 00:59:29,191
for which I consider
myself responsible...
993
00:59:29,260 --> 00:59:31,220
You know, you speak
like you write everything down
994
00:59:31,262 --> 00:59:32,494
before you say it.
995
00:59:34,498 --> 00:59:38,067
Well, yes,
I do speak that way, Mr. burns.
996
00:59:38,135 --> 00:59:41,203
I wish I spoke more spontaneously.
997
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,240
I will always appear foolish
in a conversation
998
00:59:45,309 --> 00:59:47,242
with a person of your imagination.
999
00:59:49,213 --> 00:59:54,650
Please, understand there is no
vengeance in my activities here.
1000
00:59:54,718 --> 00:59:57,252
I love my work, Mr. burns.
1001
00:59:57,321 --> 01:00:00,389
Now, I believe that
you are a danger to this child.
1002
01:00:01,459 --> 01:00:03,559
Now, I wish this were not true,
1003
01:00:03,627 --> 01:00:06,895
because it is obvious
you have considerable affection
1004
01:00:06,964 --> 01:00:08,163
for your nephew.
1005
01:00:08,232 --> 01:00:11,934
It shows in your face, this feeling.
1006
01:00:12,002 --> 01:00:15,771
Well, I admire you
for your warmth, Mr. burns,
1007
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:18,640
and for the affection
the child feels for you.
1008
01:00:18,709 --> 01:00:20,876
I admire this because...
1009
01:00:20,945 --> 01:00:25,881
I am one for whom children
do not easily feel affection.
1010
01:00:25,950 --> 01:00:30,018
I am not one of the warm people.
1011
01:00:30,087 --> 01:00:32,488
But your feeling for the child
1012
01:00:32,556 --> 01:00:36,758
does not mollify the genuinely
dangerous emotional climate
1013
01:00:36,827 --> 01:00:38,460
you have made for him.
1014
01:00:38,529 --> 01:00:40,829
Now, I wish you could understand this.
1015
01:00:40,898 --> 01:00:43,298
I would so much rather you understood,
1016
01:00:43,367 --> 01:00:45,734
could really hear what I have to say.
1017
01:00:45,803 --> 01:00:47,102
For yours is, I believe,
1018
01:00:47,171 --> 01:00:50,205
a distorted picture of this world.
1019
01:00:52,109 --> 01:00:55,210
Then, why don't you send me
to a foster home?
1020
01:00:57,581 --> 01:00:59,982
I was right.
You really can't listen to me.
1021
01:01:00,050 --> 01:01:02,751
You're so sure of your sight.
1022
01:01:02,820 --> 01:01:07,689
Your villains and heroes are
all so terribly clear to you,
1023
01:01:07,758 --> 01:01:11,026
and I am obviously one of the villains.
1024
01:01:16,033 --> 01:01:18,600
Well, god save you
from your vision, Mr. burns.
1025
01:01:27,444 --> 01:01:28,844
Goodbye.
1026
01:01:43,761 --> 01:01:45,027
Hey!
1027
01:01:45,095 --> 01:01:47,296
I'll bet you don't believe
I really do live
1028
01:01:47,364 --> 01:01:49,565
above an abandoned Chinese restaurant?
1029
01:01:49,633 --> 01:01:51,400
Come on, I'll show it to you.
1030
01:01:51,468 --> 01:01:53,468
Murray?
Don't be nervous, lady.
1031
01:01:53,537 --> 01:01:56,538
You're at an awkward stage.
You're between closets.
1032
01:01:56,607 --> 01:01:58,807
Murray, what Albert said about Nick...
1033
01:01:58,876 --> 01:02:00,476
Now, look, Sandy, to tell you the truth,
1034
01:02:00,544 --> 01:02:03,145
it's even better for me if he goes.
1035
01:02:03,214 --> 01:02:05,113
I mean,
he's a middle-aged kid.
1036
01:02:07,785 --> 01:02:09,985
You know, when I signed
with the network that time,
1037
01:02:10,054 --> 01:02:12,287
he sat up all night
figuring out the fringe benefits
1038
01:02:12,356 --> 01:02:14,523
and the pension plan.
1039
01:02:14,592 --> 01:02:18,293
And he started to make lists this year.
1040
01:02:18,362 --> 01:02:20,796
Lists of everything!
1041
01:02:20,864 --> 01:02:22,864
Subway stops, underwear,
1042
01:02:22,933 --> 01:02:25,133
"what are you gonna do
next week?"
1043
01:02:25,202 --> 01:02:26,568
If somebody doesn't watch out,
1044
01:02:26,637 --> 01:02:28,837
he'll start making lists of what
he's gonna do next year
1045
01:02:28,906 --> 01:02:30,072
and for the next 10 years.
1046
01:02:32,509 --> 01:02:35,444
Hey, suppose they put him in
1047
01:02:35,512 --> 01:02:39,414
with a whole family of list makers!
1048
01:02:39,483 --> 01:02:42,084
No, no, I didn't spend six years with him
1049
01:02:42,152 --> 01:02:44,219
so he'd turn into a list maker.
1050
01:02:44,288 --> 01:02:47,356
He'll learn to know everything
before it happens.
1051
01:02:47,424 --> 01:02:49,858
He'll learn how to plan,
1052
01:02:49,927 --> 01:02:54,463
learn how to be
one of the nice dead people.
1053
01:02:54,531 --> 01:02:55,631
Are you listening to me?
1054
01:02:55,699 --> 01:02:57,132
Of course, Murray, I told...
1055
01:02:57,201 --> 01:02:59,601
Well, stamp your foot
or mutter or something
1056
01:02:59,670 --> 01:03:01,603
so I'll know you're there, will ya?
1057
01:03:01,672 --> 01:03:05,540
Want to be sure he knows when
he's chickening out on himself.
1058
01:03:05,609 --> 01:03:08,744
Want him to get to know
the special thing he is,
1059
01:03:08,812 --> 01:03:11,980
or else he won't notice it
when it starts to go.
1060
01:03:12,049 --> 01:03:15,484
Want him to stay awake
and know who the phonies are.
1061
01:03:15,552 --> 01:03:18,754
I want him to know how to holler
and put up an argument.
1062
01:03:18,822 --> 01:03:22,591
I want a little guts to show
before I can let him go.
1063
01:03:22,660 --> 01:03:27,062
I want to be sure he sees
all the wild possibilities.
1064
01:03:27,131 --> 01:03:29,698
I want him to know
it's worth all the trouble
1065
01:03:29,767 --> 01:03:33,335
just to give the world a little
goosing once you get the chance.
1066
01:03:35,072 --> 01:03:40,108
I want him to know the...
Sneaky, subtle...
1067
01:03:40,177 --> 01:03:45,781
Important reason...
He was born a human being...
1068
01:03:45,849 --> 01:03:47,716
And not a chair.
1069
01:03:51,588 --> 01:03:53,588
Hey, I, brought you
all the way down here.
1070
01:03:53,657 --> 01:03:55,357
I didn't even show you the restaurant.
1071
01:03:55,426 --> 01:03:59,861
Hey, "the original lum far's
oriental paradise, rear door."
1072
01:04:01,165 --> 01:04:02,531
Shame they closed it.
1073
01:04:02,599 --> 01:04:05,300
Something to do with not being recognized
1074
01:04:05,369 --> 01:04:06,868
by the united nations.
1075
01:04:09,506 --> 01:04:11,306
Sandy, I don't want him to go!
1076
01:04:11,375 --> 01:04:13,241
I like having him around here.
1077
01:04:15,512 --> 01:04:18,947
What'll I do, Sandy?
Help me out.
1078
01:04:19,016 --> 01:04:22,784
You see...
1079
01:04:22,853 --> 01:04:25,787
I like when he reads me
from the want ads.
1080
01:04:28,926 --> 01:04:32,461
Don't worry, Murray.
We'll do something.
1081
01:04:32,529 --> 01:04:35,163
I know the board, the procedures,
1082
01:04:35,232 --> 01:04:36,898
the things we can do.
1083
01:04:41,505 --> 01:04:46,308
What I'll do is I'll...
I'll buy a new suit.
1084
01:04:46,377 --> 01:04:49,878
First thing is to get a dignified suit.
1085
01:04:49,947 --> 01:04:53,815
If you could just get
some kind of job, Murray.
1086
01:04:53,884 --> 01:04:55,550
Get your brother to help you.
1087
01:04:55,619 --> 01:04:56,718
Yeah, right, right.
1088
01:04:56,787 --> 01:04:58,987
Is there something you can get
in a hurry?
1089
01:04:59,056 --> 01:05:02,023
Yeah, one of those summer suits
with the readymade cuffs.
1090
01:05:02,092 --> 01:05:03,358
No, a job.
1091
01:05:03,427 --> 01:05:05,961
If you could just bring
some proof of employment
1092
01:05:06,029 --> 01:05:07,329
to the hearing, Murray.
1093
01:05:07,398 --> 01:05:09,498
Show them how anxious you are to change.
1094
01:05:09,566 --> 01:05:11,466
Show them you want to be reliable!
1095
01:05:13,837 --> 01:05:16,371
Yeah!
1096
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,307
Reliable!
1097
01:05:19,376 --> 01:05:22,711
Sandy, we will put on
a great, damn show for them!
1098
01:05:22,780 --> 01:05:24,379
Spectacular reliability!
1099
01:05:24,448 --> 01:05:25,781
A reliability parade...
1100
01:05:25,849 --> 01:05:28,016
Bands, clothes, banners, everything!
1101
01:05:33,590 --> 01:05:36,291
Great, keep that laugh.
I'll need it later.
1102
01:05:44,034 --> 01:05:45,400
Hello, margot?
Murray.
1103
01:05:48,372 --> 01:05:51,106
When Arnie comes in, tell him
I need a job in a hurry?
1104
01:05:51,175 --> 01:05:53,375
Tell him to set up
some appointments for lunch
1105
01:05:53,444 --> 01:05:55,610
and straight through
the afternoon if he can.
1106
01:05:55,679 --> 01:05:58,180
Tell him, the people
he mentioned this morning
1107
01:05:58,248 --> 01:06:00,215
can see me today right away, okay?
1108
01:06:00,284 --> 01:06:02,083
Yeah, I'll call him back later.
1109
01:06:02,152 --> 01:06:04,486
Hey, thanks, margot.
Bye.
1110
01:06:04,555 --> 01:06:06,688
Hey, Sandy, I'm gonna buy a new suit now.
1111
01:06:06,757 --> 01:06:09,391
Can I come with you?
I'd love to watch you buy one.
1112
01:06:09,460 --> 01:06:10,460
You better not.
1113
01:06:10,527 --> 01:06:11,893
Sandy, I got to move fast.
1114
01:06:11,962 --> 01:06:13,695
You wait for me upstairs,
1115
01:06:13,764 --> 01:06:14,764
okay.
1116
01:06:17,234 --> 01:06:18,834
Here's a key for you.
1117
01:06:18,902 --> 01:06:20,902
Thank you.
1118
01:06:20,971 --> 01:06:22,404
Look, don't go away?
1119
01:06:22,473 --> 01:06:23,939
No, I won't.
1120
01:06:25,843 --> 01:06:26,843
Say "good luck."
1121
01:06:26,877 --> 01:06:27,976
Good luck.
1122
01:06:28,045 --> 01:06:30,178
Say, "you are
a magnificent human being!"
1123
01:06:30,247 --> 01:06:32,147
You are a magnificent human being.
1124
01:06:32,216 --> 01:06:33,448
I thought you'd notice.
1125
01:06:55,973 --> 01:06:57,439
Mom!
1126
01:06:57,508 --> 01:07:00,575
I know you must have been
going out of your mind,
1127
01:07:00,644 --> 01:07:01,977
and I'm sorry, mom,
1128
01:07:02,045 --> 01:07:05,113
but I'm calling you now
to tell you some wonderful news!
1129
01:07:18,729 --> 01:07:21,963
It's a... it's a really
basic relationship.
1130
01:07:22,032 --> 01:07:28,069
I'm s-so in love with him,
and... and I'm so very happy!
1131
01:07:28,138 --> 01:07:30,906
Well, what do you mean,
what do I mean "happy"?
1132
01:08:19,389 --> 01:08:24,526
Well, I mean...
Well, you know... Happy.
1133
01:08:48,685 --> 01:08:51,419
I got a great,
new panel-show package.
1134
01:08:51,488 --> 01:08:53,555
All ad lib.
1135
01:08:53,624 --> 01:08:56,491
You'll be the permanent member
on the panel.
1136
01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:58,259
Every afternoon, just talk.
1137
01:08:58,328 --> 01:09:00,528
No sweat.
1138
01:09:00,597 --> 01:09:03,932
Great running bit for you on the show.
1139
01:09:04,001 --> 01:09:05,700
What's that?
1140
01:09:05,769 --> 01:09:07,769
Honesty.
1141
01:09:07,838 --> 01:09:09,771
Absolute honesty.
1142
01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:11,072
The minute you come on,
1143
01:09:11,141 --> 01:09:13,174
the first thing that comes
to your cockamamie head.
1144
01:09:14,611 --> 01:09:16,544
Great TV.
1145
01:09:16,613 --> 01:09:19,214
You'll be you... a big nut.
1146
01:09:19,282 --> 01:09:22,951
Have you decided
on your luncheon order, sir?
1147
01:09:23,020 --> 01:09:26,354
Yes, I'll have a hamburger
and a flashlight.
1148
01:09:31,228 --> 01:09:32,961
Beautiful, beautiful!
1149
01:09:34,531 --> 01:09:36,364
You'll be nutsy crazy.
1150
01:09:36,433 --> 01:09:39,100
The audience will love you, Murray...
1151
01:09:39,169 --> 01:09:40,869
A big, lovable eccentric.
1152
01:09:40,937 --> 01:09:43,204
I'll put you on just the way you are...
1153
01:09:43,273 --> 01:09:45,740
A natural phenomenon
like the Grand Canyon.
1154
01:09:45,809 --> 01:09:48,576
You'll have that crazy, nutsy face
1155
01:09:48,645 --> 01:09:50,545
and that cockamamie talk.
1156
01:09:50,614 --> 01:09:52,947
Beautiful.
1157
01:09:53,016 --> 01:09:56,918
Love... the audience
will love you, Murray.
1158
01:09:56,987 --> 01:09:57,987
Murray?
1159
01:10:19,142 --> 01:10:21,476
Mother, now, there's...
1160
01:10:21,545 --> 01:10:24,779
Nothing for you to cry about.
1161
01:10:24,848 --> 01:10:27,649
Guts. Guts.
1162
01:10:27,718 --> 01:10:29,584
See, I told Arnie I wanted to see you
1163
01:10:29,653 --> 01:10:31,119
because there's this new series
1164
01:10:31,188 --> 01:10:33,154
that's going to need a guts attitude...
1165
01:10:33,223 --> 01:10:35,724
Courage kind of thing.
1166
01:10:35,792 --> 01:10:38,660
I ought to run
from a writer with your rep,
1167
01:10:38,729 --> 01:10:40,862
but, I'm a gambler, burns.
1168
01:10:40,931 --> 01:10:42,697
Insecurity excited me.
1169
01:10:44,668 --> 01:10:46,434
Going for a big one this fall.
1170
01:10:46,503 --> 01:10:49,370
Series will be really human,
you know, kind of thing?
1171
01:10:49,439 --> 01:10:51,272
Sort of, well, of our time.
1172
01:10:51,341 --> 01:10:55,176
Quality concepts,
area of kafka, symbolism,
1173
01:10:55,245 --> 01:10:58,480
literate, chekhovian sort of thing.
1174
01:10:58,548 --> 01:11:01,750
We're calling it
"homicide squad."
1175
01:11:01,818 --> 01:11:06,121
Now... I'm just...
Spitballing here.
1176
01:11:06,189 --> 01:11:08,923
You know, I got gut reaction,
but, each week,
1177
01:11:08,992 --> 01:11:11,392
we ought to be able to get in about...
1178
01:11:11,461 --> 01:11:13,928
10 minutes of moral message, you know...
1179
01:11:13,997 --> 01:11:16,564
Race-relations thing,
world-peace thing,
1180
01:11:16,633 --> 01:11:19,033
"understanding brings love" thing...
1181
01:11:19,102 --> 01:11:20,435
"Love brings understanding."
1182
01:11:20,504 --> 01:11:21,636
Controversy a bit.
1183
01:11:21,705 --> 01:11:24,405
You know, tough, you know, but warm.
1184
01:12:41,685 --> 01:12:44,919
You walked out of the restaurant?
1185
01:12:44,988 --> 01:12:46,988
Sloan makes you an offer,
1186
01:12:47,057 --> 01:12:50,024
and you walk out of the restaurant.
1187
01:12:50,093 --> 01:12:51,159
Murray...
1188
01:12:51,228 --> 01:12:54,462
Arnie, I can't get over this office!
1189
01:12:54,531 --> 01:12:56,798
The 22nd floor!
1190
01:12:56,867 --> 01:12:58,666
Ho ho!
1191
01:12:58,735 --> 01:13:02,470
You can see everything.
1192
01:13:02,539 --> 01:13:05,373
For god's sake, I don't believe it.
1193
01:13:05,442 --> 01:13:07,008
What?
1194
01:13:07,077 --> 01:13:09,711
It's king Kong. He's sitting on
top of the time-life building.
1195
01:13:09,779 --> 01:13:10,879
Seems to be crying.
1196
01:13:12,015 --> 01:13:14,115
Ew.
Poor gorilla bastard.
1197
01:13:14,184 --> 01:13:17,252
Somebody should've told him they don't
make buildings the way they used to.
1198
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:19,921
Murray, Sloan didn't make you
such a bad offer.
1199
01:13:19,990 --> 01:13:21,189
No, Sloan is an idiot.
1200
01:13:21,258 --> 01:13:22,724
I've got news for you, cookie.
1201
01:13:22,792 --> 01:13:25,293
With your situation this week,
you're gonna need idiots.
1202
01:13:25,362 --> 01:13:26,561
Now, you do not have...
1203
01:13:26,630 --> 01:13:28,830
You shouldn't holler at me.
I brought you a present.
1204
01:13:28,899 --> 01:13:30,331
Murray!
1205
01:13:36,740 --> 01:13:39,140
A-and that other fella
you sent me to,
1206
01:13:39,209 --> 01:13:41,609
with the TV series...
A killer, Arnie.
1207
01:13:41,678 --> 01:13:45,680
I saw notches on his attach� case.
1208
01:13:45,749 --> 01:13:48,483
Murray, you've got a rotten reputation.
1209
01:13:48,551 --> 01:13:51,185
Even these guys weren't easy to grab.
1210
01:13:52,522 --> 01:13:54,289
Why do you have to build
your own blacklist.
1211
01:13:54,357 --> 01:13:56,157
Why can't you get blacklisted
as a communist
1212
01:13:56,226 --> 01:13:57,358
like everybody else?
1213
01:13:59,095 --> 01:14:00,795
What did you do to him?
1214
01:14:02,032 --> 01:14:04,365
You just left him standing there?
1215
01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:13,975
You just left him standing there?
1216
01:14:17,647 --> 01:14:19,881
Arnie, Arnie, it was beautiful!
1217
01:14:22,752 --> 01:14:25,520
I would've loved to have seen
that. It must have been great.
1218
01:14:31,728 --> 01:14:34,462
Wish to god I didn't enjoy you so much.
1219
01:14:34,531 --> 01:14:37,865
I don't do you
any damn good at all, do I?
1220
01:14:37,934 --> 01:14:41,269
All right, come on, Murray,
no more fun and games with Leo.
1221
01:14:41,338 --> 01:14:42,704
Do you understand?
1222
01:14:42,772 --> 01:14:45,907
He's absolutely all we have left
before the hearing Thursday.
1223
01:14:45,976 --> 01:14:47,241
Don't worry, Arn,
1224
01:14:47,310 --> 01:14:49,711
I figure I could always go back
with chuckles the chipmunk.
1225
01:14:49,779 --> 01:14:51,713
All right, Murray.
1226
01:14:51,781 --> 01:14:55,917
Margot... Get me Leo Herman
on the speakerphone.
1227
01:14:57,153 --> 01:14:59,053
Well, Leo won't be so bad for a while.
1228
01:15:00,156 --> 01:15:02,123
Murray, now, not for a while.
1229
01:15:02,192 --> 01:15:04,859
You're gonna have to stick with chuckles.
1230
01:15:04,928 --> 01:15:07,762
Now, my agency lawyer
gave me all the facts.
1231
01:15:07,831 --> 01:15:09,764
The most the board will allow you
1232
01:15:09,833 --> 01:15:12,600
is a probationary year
with Nick... a trial period.
1233
01:15:12,669 --> 01:15:14,102
And the board's investigators
1234
01:15:14,170 --> 01:15:16,938
are gonna be checking up on you
every week regularly...
1235
01:15:17,007 --> 01:15:19,340
Checking to see
that you still have your job,
1236
01:15:19,409 --> 01:15:21,342
checking with Leo on your stability,
1237
01:15:21,411 --> 01:15:24,746
checking up on the improvements
in your home environment.
1238
01:15:26,883 --> 01:15:29,617
Sounds...
Sounds like a parole board.
1239
01:15:29,686 --> 01:15:32,620
Yes, it certainly does.
1240
01:15:32,689 --> 01:15:36,290
Kidderoonies...
1241
01:15:36,359 --> 01:15:40,862
You take it from your old buddy,
the old chippermunk chuckles.
1242
01:15:40,930 --> 01:15:43,931
If your get-up-and-go
has got up and left,
1243
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:47,468
just one 10-cent bag
of these crispy chuckle chips
1244
01:15:47,537 --> 01:15:50,238
will give you
that barrel-of-monkeys,
1245
01:15:50,306 --> 01:15:54,008
boat-has-never-sunky
feeling again.
1246
01:15:54,077 --> 01:15:56,144
Yay. Yay.
Yay. Yay.
1247
01:15:56,212 --> 01:15:58,046
George.
1248
01:15:58,114 --> 01:16:00,548
Is that a "yay"?
What kind of a "yay" is that?
1249
01:16:00,617 --> 01:16:03,618
I ask for a "yay,"
you give me a death rattle.
1250
01:16:03,686 --> 01:16:04,986
Come on, look,
1251
01:16:05,055 --> 01:16:08,322
if you're gonna rehearse
a "yay," rehearse a yay.
1252
01:16:08,391 --> 01:16:10,024
Yay! Yay!
Yay! Yay!
1253
01:16:10,093 --> 01:16:11,292
Death.
1254
01:16:11,361 --> 01:16:12,827
We're dying.
1255
01:16:12,896 --> 01:16:15,563
With that kind of a "yay,"
the show is dying.
1256
01:16:15,632 --> 01:16:17,065
That's why the show is dying.
1257
01:16:17,133 --> 01:16:19,100
The kids don't have a "yay" attitude.
1258
01:16:19,169 --> 01:16:20,835
Dead dying dead.
1259
01:16:20,904 --> 01:16:22,770
Death... doornail-dying dead.
1260
01:16:22,839 --> 01:16:24,806
Call for you,
Mr. Herman.
1261
01:16:24,874 --> 01:16:25,874
What is that?
1262
01:16:25,909 --> 01:16:27,075
It's a telephone.
1263
01:16:27,143 --> 01:16:29,177
Arnold burns' office calling.
1264
01:16:29,245 --> 01:16:30,878
Great, wonderful, wonderful.
1265
01:16:30,947 --> 01:16:31,879
Hello, Arnie?
1266
01:16:31,948 --> 01:16:33,214
Here I am!
There he is!
1267
01:16:33,283 --> 01:16:35,416
You got my voice
coming out of that speakerphone
1268
01:16:35,485 --> 01:16:36,651
in your office, right?
1269
01:16:36,719 --> 01:16:39,053
Am I coming through?
Am I coming through there?
1270
01:16:39,122 --> 01:16:41,055
Clearly, Leo.
Murray's here.
1271
01:16:41,124 --> 01:16:44,659
Murray, Murray, the wonderful wild man!
1272
01:16:44,727 --> 01:16:47,962
Hey, kidderoonies, looks like
your old uncle Murray's
1273
01:16:48,031 --> 01:16:51,599
coming back to write some of
those wonderful scripteroonies
1274
01:16:51,668 --> 01:16:54,402
for us again!
1275
01:16:54,471 --> 01:16:57,472
Yay!! Yay!!
Yay!! Yay!!
1276
01:16:57,540 --> 01:16:59,040
Murray, what did you do?
1277
01:16:59,109 --> 01:17:00,475
The job.
1278
01:17:00,543 --> 01:17:01,742
The hearing.
What...
1279
01:17:50,293 --> 01:17:52,260
Well, say, did you do all this?
1280
01:17:52,328 --> 01:17:54,562
Yes, Nick.
Do you like it?
1281
01:17:54,631 --> 01:17:56,497
I think it's superb.
1282
01:17:56,566 --> 01:17:59,867
I mean, imagine my surprise
when I saw it.
1283
01:17:59,936 --> 01:18:03,504
Murray went downtown
to see your uncle Arnold.
1284
01:18:03,573 --> 01:18:05,439
He's going to get a job!
1285
01:18:05,508 --> 01:18:08,309
No kidding?!
Hey, that's terrific!
1286
01:18:08,378 --> 01:18:10,778
That's just terrific!
1287
01:18:10,847 --> 01:18:14,482
See, lady...
He was developing into a bum.
1288
01:18:14,551 --> 01:18:17,318
I mean, you don't want to see
someone you like
1289
01:18:17,387 --> 01:18:20,121
developing into a bum
and doing nutty things.
1290
01:18:20,190 --> 01:18:21,889
You know what he does?
1291
01:18:21,958 --> 01:18:23,691
He hollers.
1292
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:26,360
Like, we were on park Avenue last Sunday,
1293
01:18:26,429 --> 01:18:28,696
and it's very early in the morning.
1294
01:18:28,765 --> 01:18:30,998
There's no one in the street, see,
1295
01:18:31,067 --> 01:18:33,768
just all these big,
quiet apartment houses.
1296
01:18:33,836 --> 01:18:36,771
And he hollers, "rich people!"
1297
01:18:36,839 --> 01:18:41,943
"I want to see you all out
on the street for volleyball,
1298
01:18:42,011 --> 01:18:43,611
and snap it up!"
1299
01:18:43,680 --> 01:18:45,346
And you know, sometimes,
1300
01:18:45,415 --> 01:18:48,316
if we're in a crowded elevator someplace,
1301
01:18:48,384 --> 01:18:50,718
he'll turn to me and he'll say,
1302
01:18:50,787 --> 01:18:54,055
"Max... There will be
no more of this self-pity.
1303
01:18:54,123 --> 01:18:55,957
"Now, you're 40.
1304
01:18:56,025 --> 01:18:58,793
It's time you got
used to being a midget."
1305
01:19:00,263 --> 01:19:02,063
And everybody stares.
1306
01:19:02,131 --> 01:19:04,165
He has a wonderful time.
1307
01:19:04,234 --> 01:19:07,802
What are you gonna do with
someone who hollers like that?
1308
01:19:07,870 --> 01:19:10,972
You know, last week,
in Macy's, he did that.
1309
01:19:12,775 --> 01:19:15,042
Well, if you want to know
the truth, lady,
1310
01:19:15,111 --> 01:19:16,277
that was pretty funny.
1311
01:19:26,122 --> 01:19:29,023
I think you're a very nice lady.
1312
01:19:29,092 --> 01:19:31,058
What do you think of me?
1313
01:19:31,127 --> 01:19:34,328
I think you're very nice, also.
1314
01:19:34,397 --> 01:19:36,197
You know, a very nice quality you have
1315
01:19:36,266 --> 01:19:37,798
is that you're a good listener,
1316
01:19:37,867 --> 01:19:40,268
which is important to me
because of how much I talk.
1317
01:19:41,671 --> 01:19:43,838
Hey, you are a laugher, aren't you, lady?
1318
01:19:43,906 --> 01:19:44,839
I guess so, Nick.
1319
01:19:44,907 --> 01:19:45,907
Yeah.
1320
01:19:49,512 --> 01:19:51,512
Would you like some fruit?
1321
01:19:51,581 --> 01:19:53,347
We got lots of fruit.
1322
01:19:53,416 --> 01:19:56,384
No, thank you, Nick.
1323
01:19:56,452 --> 01:19:59,654
If you'd like to call
your mother or someone,
1324
01:19:59,722 --> 01:20:02,523
please feel free to use the telephone.
1325
01:20:02,592 --> 01:20:07,428
Or my desk if you want to read
a book or something.
1326
01:20:07,497 --> 01:20:08,729
Or any... any of the chairs.
1327
01:20:08,798 --> 01:20:11,766
I will.
Thank you, Nick.
1328
01:20:11,834 --> 01:20:12,900
Okay.
1329
01:20:17,907 --> 01:20:23,311
Well... You gonna be staying
around here for a while?
1330
01:20:23,379 --> 01:20:26,414
I might. Yes.
Yes.
1331
01:20:39,429 --> 01:20:41,429
Well...
1332
01:20:41,497 --> 01:20:43,064
Good luck to you, lady.
1333
01:20:43,132 --> 01:20:44,732
Murray!
1334
01:20:44,801 --> 01:20:47,301
What a nice suit you bought!
1335
01:20:47,370 --> 01:20:48,402
Hi.
1336
01:20:48,471 --> 01:20:49,970
Yeah.
1337
01:20:50,039 --> 01:20:51,039
How is everything?
1338
01:20:51,107 --> 01:20:52,640
Which job did you get?
1339
01:20:52,709 --> 01:20:55,142
Still going good, Violet?
1340
01:20:55,211 --> 01:20:56,977
Marvelous!
1341
01:20:57,046 --> 01:20:58,446
She's in her third month.
1342
01:20:58,514 --> 01:20:59,613
She's pregnant?
1343
01:20:59,682 --> 01:21:01,615
No, unemployment insurance.
1344
01:21:01,684 --> 01:21:05,052
Don't keep me in suspense.
Which job did you get?
1345
01:21:05,121 --> 01:21:07,688
I shall now leave you breathless
1346
01:21:07,757 --> 01:21:10,458
with the strange and wondrous tale
1347
01:21:10,526 --> 01:21:14,462
of this sturdy lad's adventures
today in downtown oz.
1348
01:21:14,530 --> 01:21:16,964
Now, picture, if you will, me.
1349
01:21:17,033 --> 01:21:20,534
I am walking on east 51st street
about an hour ago,
1350
01:21:20,603 --> 01:21:23,104
practicing how to say "I am sorry"
1351
01:21:23,172 --> 01:21:24,605
with a little style.
1352
01:21:24,674 --> 01:21:25,740
Sorry for what?
1353
01:21:25,808 --> 01:21:26,841
Well, for anything.
1354
01:21:26,909 --> 01:21:28,309
Just rehearsing.
1355
01:21:28,378 --> 01:21:30,111
Well you know how it is
1356
01:21:30,179 --> 01:21:32,546
when you're walking down the
street, talking to yourself...
1357
01:21:32,615 --> 01:21:34,448
How suddenly you say something out loud?
1358
01:21:34,517 --> 01:21:35,816
So, I said, "I'm sorry."
1359
01:21:35,885 --> 01:21:38,652
And this fella coming by...
A complete stranger...
1360
01:21:38,721 --> 01:21:40,654
He looks up a second and he says,
1361
01:21:40,723 --> 01:21:43,791
"that's all right, Mac,"
and he goes right on.
1362
01:21:43,860 --> 01:21:45,326
He automatically forgave me.
1363
01:21:45,395 --> 01:21:46,494
I communicated.
1364
01:21:46,562 --> 01:21:48,829
Now, 5:00 rush hour in midtown,
you could say,
1365
01:21:48,898 --> 01:21:51,031
"sir, I believe your hair is on fire,"
1366
01:21:51,100 --> 01:21:52,933
and they wouldn't even hear you.
1367
01:21:53,002 --> 01:21:56,070
So I decided to test the whole
thing out scientifically.
1368
01:21:56,139 --> 01:21:58,806
I just stood there
on the corner of 51st and Lex
1369
01:21:58,875 --> 01:22:01,776
saying "I'm sorry"
to everybody that came by.
1370
01:22:01,844 --> 01:22:03,878
"I'm so sorry, sir."
1371
01:22:03,946 --> 01:22:05,846
"I'm terribly sorry, madam."
1372
01:22:05,915 --> 01:22:08,182
"Say, there, miss,
I'm sorry."
1373
01:22:08,251 --> 01:22:11,452
Of course, I got a few funny looks,
1374
01:22:11,521 --> 01:22:15,289
but I swear, Sandy,
75% of them forgave me.
1375
01:22:15,358 --> 01:22:17,224
Something had happened to all of them
1376
01:22:17,293 --> 01:22:19,560
for which they felt somebody
should apologize.
1377
01:22:19,629 --> 01:22:20,828
It was fabulous.
1378
01:22:20,897 --> 01:22:23,531
I had tapped some vast reservoir.
1379
01:22:23,599 --> 01:22:25,399
I just said "I'm sorry,"
1380
01:22:25,468 --> 01:22:28,502
and they were all so generous, so kind.
1381
01:22:28,571 --> 01:22:29,703
Murray?
1382
01:22:29,772 --> 01:22:32,606
Yeah, Sandy, I could run up
on the roof right now
1383
01:22:32,675 --> 01:22:34,008
and holler "I'm sorry,"
1384
01:22:34,076 --> 01:22:36,744
and a half a million people
would holler back,
1385
01:22:36,813 --> 01:22:39,747
"that's okay, just see
that you don't do it again!"
1386
01:22:41,017 --> 01:22:43,517
Murray, you didn't take any of the jobs.
1387
01:22:43,586 --> 01:22:48,622
Sandy, i...
1388
01:22:48,691 --> 01:22:52,259
I'm sorry.
1389
01:22:52,328 --> 01:22:54,361
I'm very sorry.
1390
01:22:57,967 --> 01:23:01,235
Well, damn it, lady,
that was a beautiful apology.
1391
01:23:01,304 --> 01:23:04,705
I mean, you got to love a guy
who can apologize so nice.
1392
01:23:04,774 --> 01:23:08,209
I rehearsed it for over an hour.
1393
01:23:08,277 --> 01:23:11,011
Sandy...
1394
01:23:11,080 --> 01:23:14,515
That's the most
you should expect from life...
1395
01:23:14,584 --> 01:23:18,652
A really good apology for
all the things you won't get.
1396
01:23:20,857 --> 01:23:23,190
Murray, I don't understand.
1397
01:23:23,259 --> 01:23:26,126
What happens to Nick?
What about the welfare board?
1398
01:23:26,195 --> 01:23:27,361
Sandra, I...
1399
01:23:27,430 --> 01:23:29,630
Murray, if you didn't like
the job... jobs
1400
01:23:29,699 --> 01:23:32,333
your brother found for you,
then take any job.
1401
01:23:32,401 --> 01:23:34,301
Sandy, it isn't the job.
1402
01:23:34,370 --> 01:23:39,073
I have had no effect on you at all.
1403
01:23:39,141 --> 01:23:41,475
I've made no difference.
1404
01:23:41,544 --> 01:23:45,379
Sandy, you are a cute, jolly lady.
1405
01:23:45,448 --> 01:23:48,816
Sandy, hey...
1406
01:23:48,885 --> 01:23:52,386
There's a great sailing tomorrow...
1407
01:23:52,455 --> 01:23:56,257
The embarkation of the season.
1408
01:23:56,325 --> 01:24:00,394
53rd street dock at 1:00...
1409
01:24:00,463 --> 01:24:05,332
The Montana maru, Pearl of the Atlantic,
1410
01:24:05,401 --> 01:24:10,304
bound for Europe, khorramshahr, sumatra,
1411
01:24:10,373 --> 01:24:14,108
and Beirut, and points east.
1412
01:24:14,176 --> 01:24:17,311
We'll stand on the dock and watch it go.
1413
01:24:17,380 --> 01:24:20,080
Gives you the genuine feeling
1414
01:24:20,149 --> 01:24:21,949
of the beginning of things.
1415
01:24:22,018 --> 01:24:26,420
Hey, bon voyage, Charlie!
Have a wonderful time!
1416
01:24:31,527 --> 01:24:34,328
I can see why Nick liked it here.
1417
01:24:34,397 --> 01:24:37,698
I would like it, too,
if I was 12 years old.
1418
01:24:41,771 --> 01:24:45,205
Hey, stick with me,
Dr. markowitz.
1419
01:24:45,274 --> 01:24:46,941
You know, anything can happen above
1420
01:24:47,009 --> 01:24:48,375
an abandoned Chinese restaurant.
1421
01:24:53,716 --> 01:24:57,418
There are so many
really attractive things
1422
01:24:57,486 --> 01:25:00,821
that you can do
with a one-room apartment
1423
01:25:00,890 --> 01:25:04,391
if you're willing
to use your imagination.
1424
01:25:06,228 --> 01:25:07,428
Goodbye, Murray.
1425
01:25:20,076 --> 01:25:22,710
You forgot your files!
1426
01:25:22,778 --> 01:25:24,511
Hey! Damn it!
1427
01:25:24,580 --> 01:25:26,313
You forgot your files.
1428
01:25:31,621 --> 01:25:35,289
I've been attacked
by the ladies' home journal.
1429
01:25:36,959 --> 01:25:43,030
Place has an unusual quality
now... a kind of fun gothic.
1430
01:25:48,871 --> 01:25:52,006
Where is my eagle?!
1431
01:25:52,074 --> 01:25:56,610
Well, what have we got here...
Sunnybrook farm?!
1432
01:26:33,916 --> 01:26:38,118
Everybody, onstage
for a Hawaiian number, please!
1433
01:27:10,920 --> 01:27:12,453
Now I'm insulted.
1434
01:27:12,521 --> 01:27:14,855
You walked out of my office.
1435
01:27:14,924 --> 01:27:19,626
That wasn't a nice thing
to do to me, Murray.
1436
01:27:19,695 --> 01:27:23,097
You come to my office today
like George god.
1437
01:27:23,165 --> 01:27:24,698
Everybody's supposed to come up
1438
01:27:24,767 --> 01:27:27,101
and audition for human being
in front of you.
1439
01:27:27,169 --> 01:27:29,169
I called Leo back.
I apologized.
1440
01:27:29,238 --> 01:27:31,271
I told him the phone broke down.
1441
01:27:31,340 --> 01:27:33,874
I... everything
is going to be fine.
1442
01:27:33,943 --> 01:27:36,176
Arnie, you said I insulted you.
1443
01:27:36,245 --> 01:27:39,313
Well, damn it, get angry.
1444
01:27:39,381 --> 01:27:42,950
Come on. Raise your voice...
At least, your eyebrows.
1445
01:27:43,018 --> 01:27:46,487
Please, please have an argument with me.
1446
01:27:46,555 --> 01:27:47,688
Murray, you're just...
1447
01:27:47,757 --> 01:27:49,523
You're just getting excited, that's all.
1448
01:27:49,592 --> 01:27:51,358
Now, look, I've got Leo to come over.
1449
01:27:51,427 --> 01:27:52,626
He's gonna see you tonight.
1450
01:27:52,695 --> 01:27:54,828
Everything is gonna
turn out fine. You'll see.
1451
01:27:54,897 --> 01:27:57,464
Arnie, will you forget that?
Will you forget it?
1452
01:27:57,533 --> 01:27:58,533
Look at...
1453
01:27:58,567 --> 01:27:59,767
If you love Nick
1454
01:27:59,835 --> 01:28:02,603
or whoever it is
he's calling himself this week,
1455
01:28:02,671 --> 01:28:06,140
you have got to take any kind
of a stupid job to keep him.
1456
01:28:06,208 --> 01:28:09,643
Now, I even thought maybe
Shirley and me would take him,
1457
01:28:09,712 --> 01:28:12,880
but, you know, with our
three kids, she'd go crazy.
1458
01:28:12,948 --> 01:28:14,381
Don't worry, Arnie.
1459
01:28:14,450 --> 01:28:17,785
This, welfare crowd,
they know what they're doing.
1460
01:28:17,853 --> 01:28:20,320
They'll put Nick with a good family.
1461
01:28:20,389 --> 01:28:22,389
Yep.
1462
01:28:22,458 --> 01:28:24,558
Murray, I finally
figured out your problem...
1463
01:28:24,627 --> 01:28:28,962
There is only one thing
that really bothers you...
1464
01:28:29,031 --> 01:28:30,497
Other people.
1465
01:28:30,566 --> 01:28:32,065
The enemy.
1466
01:28:32,134 --> 01:28:34,101
Watch out, Murray.
1467
01:28:34,170 --> 01:28:35,669
They're everywhere.
1468
01:28:35,738 --> 01:28:37,437
Go ahead, Arnold.
Give me advice.
1469
01:28:37,506 --> 01:28:39,406
At $30,000 a year, you can afford it.
1470
01:28:39,475 --> 01:28:40,607
I get it.
1471
01:28:40,676 --> 01:28:43,010
If I'm so smart, why ain't I poor?
1472
01:28:43,078 --> 01:28:45,379
Well, you better get a damn good
act of your own, buddy,
1473
01:28:45,447 --> 01:28:47,281
before you start
giving mine the raspberry.
1474
01:28:47,349 --> 01:28:49,483
What's this game you play
gonna be like in 10 years
1475
01:28:49,552 --> 01:28:50,617
without youth?
1476
01:28:50,686 --> 01:28:51,852
Murray, I can't watch this.
1477
01:28:52,855 --> 01:28:54,121
You've got to shape up.
1478
01:28:54,190 --> 01:28:55,522
Shape up?!
1479
01:28:55,591 --> 01:28:56,757
That's right... shape up.
1480
01:28:56,826 --> 01:29:00,260
Arnie, what the hell happened to you?
1481
01:29:00,329 --> 01:29:03,797
You got so old I don't know you anymore.
1482
01:29:03,866 --> 01:29:05,999
Who is it?
1483
01:29:06,068 --> 01:29:10,737
When you quit Harry the fur king
on 28th street, remember?
1484
01:29:10,806 --> 01:29:12,339
That's 20 years ago, Murray.
1485
01:29:13,676 --> 01:29:15,943
Harry said you weren't
behaving maturely enough
1486
01:29:16,011 --> 01:29:17,244
for a salesman.
1487
01:29:17,313 --> 01:29:20,614
Your, clothes didn't match or something.
1488
01:29:20,683 --> 01:29:23,917
So the next day, you dressed perfectly...
1489
01:29:23,986 --> 01:29:25,786
Homburg gray suit, cufflinks,
1490
01:29:25,855 --> 01:29:28,322
carrying a briefcase
and a rolled umbrella,
1491
01:29:28,390 --> 01:29:33,327
and you came into Harry's office
on roller skates.
1492
01:29:33,395 --> 01:29:34,595
Where'd they go, Arnie?
1493
01:29:34,663 --> 01:29:36,630
What happened to your roller skates?
1494
01:29:36,699 --> 01:29:39,600
I don't do practical jokes,
anymore, if that's what you mean.
1495
01:29:39,668 --> 01:29:40,734
Practical.
1496
01:29:40,803 --> 01:29:45,172
That's right...
A way to stay alive.
1497
01:29:45,241 --> 01:29:48,141
Hey, if most things aren't funny, Arn,
1498
01:29:48,210 --> 01:29:51,211
then they're only exactly what they are.
1499
01:29:51,280 --> 01:29:53,714
Then it's just
one long dental appointment,
1500
01:29:53,782 --> 01:29:56,350
interrupted occasionally
by something exciting
1501
01:29:56,418 --> 01:29:58,252
like waiting or falling asleep.
1502
01:29:58,320 --> 01:30:01,421
What's the point if I leave
things just the way I find them?
1503
01:30:01,490 --> 01:30:03,423
Then I'm just adding to the noise,
1504
01:30:03,492 --> 01:30:06,226
I'm just taking up
some more room on the subway.
1505
01:30:06,295 --> 01:30:09,196
Murray, the welfare board
has these specifications.
1506
01:30:09,265 --> 01:30:11,832
All you have to do
is to make up your mind...
1507
01:30:11,901 --> 01:30:14,501
God. Arnie,
you don't understand anymore.
1508
01:30:14,570 --> 01:30:17,804
You've got that wide stare
that people stick in their eyes
1509
01:30:17,873 --> 01:30:20,207
so nobody will know their head's asleep.
1510
01:30:21,610 --> 01:30:24,478
You have to be a moaner, a shuffler.
1511
01:30:24,546 --> 01:30:27,314
You want me to come, sit,
and eat fruit with you
1512
01:30:27,383 --> 01:30:28,949
and watch the clock run out.
1513
01:30:29,018 --> 01:30:31,818
You start to drag and stumble
under the rotten weight
1514
01:30:31,887 --> 01:30:34,421
of all the people
who should have been told off.
1515
01:30:34,490 --> 01:30:37,758
All the things you should have said,
1516
01:30:37,826 --> 01:30:41,461
all the specifications that aren't yours.
1517
01:30:41,530 --> 01:30:43,597
You know, the only thing
you've got left to reject
1518
01:30:43,666 --> 01:30:44,998
is your food in a restaurant.
1519
01:30:45,067 --> 01:30:46,800
If they do it wrong, you can send it back
1520
01:30:46,869 --> 01:30:48,502
and make a big fuss with the waiter.
1521
01:30:51,106 --> 01:30:55,208
Five months ago, I was
on a subway on my way to work.
1522
01:30:55,277 --> 01:30:58,912
I was sitting on the express,
the same as every morning,
1523
01:30:58,981 --> 01:31:00,514
looking out the window,
1524
01:31:00,582 --> 01:31:03,450
watching the local stops go by
in the dark
1525
01:31:03,519 --> 01:31:06,119
with an empty head and my arms folded,
1526
01:31:06,188 --> 01:31:09,356
not feeling great, not feeling rotten...
1527
01:31:11,427 --> 01:31:13,627
just...
1528
01:31:13,696 --> 01:31:16,063
Not feeling.
1529
01:31:16,131 --> 01:31:20,233
And for a minute,
I-i couldn't remember.
1530
01:31:20,302 --> 01:31:24,738
I didn't know,
unless I really concentrated,
1531
01:31:24,807 --> 01:31:29,776
whether it was a Tuesday
or a Thursday or a...
1532
01:31:32,414 --> 01:31:37,217
For a minute,
it could have been any day, Arn.
1533
01:31:37,286 --> 01:31:39,653
I got to know what day it is.
1534
01:31:39,722 --> 01:31:42,823
I got to know what's the name of the game
1535
01:31:42,891 --> 01:31:46,860
and what the rules are
without anyone else telling me.
1536
01:31:46,929 --> 01:31:50,364
You got to own your own days
and name them...
1537
01:31:50,432 --> 01:31:53,400
Each one of them...
Every one of them.
1538
01:31:53,469 --> 01:31:55,736
Or else the years go right by,
1539
01:31:55,804 --> 01:31:58,205
and none of them belong to you.
1540
01:31:59,641 --> 01:32:04,378
And that ain't just for weekends, kiddo.
1541
01:32:06,115 --> 01:32:08,315
Well
1542
01:32:08,384 --> 01:32:10,951
here it is the day after
Irving r. Feldman's birthday,
1543
01:32:11,020 --> 01:32:12,420
and I never even congratulated him.
1544
01:32:12,454 --> 01:32:14,221
Murray!
1545
01:32:19,395 --> 01:32:20,694
Well, what's so funny?
1546
01:32:20,763 --> 01:32:22,396
I scared myself.
1547
01:32:26,101 --> 01:32:29,903
Murray, I've long been aware...
1548
01:32:31,874 --> 01:32:34,775
I've long been aware that
you don't respect me so much.
1549
01:32:34,843 --> 01:32:38,378
No. I suppose there are a lot of
brothers who don't get along,
1550
01:32:38,447 --> 01:32:44,885
but... In reference to us
and considering the factors...
1551
01:32:44,953 --> 01:32:46,686
Sounds like a contract, doesn't it?
1552
01:32:48,891 --> 01:32:52,859
Unfortunately, for you, Murray,
you want to be a hero.
1553
01:32:52,928 --> 01:32:54,594
If maybe a fellow falls into the lake
1554
01:32:54,663 --> 01:32:56,029
you can jump in and save him.
1555
01:32:56,098 --> 01:32:57,631
There's still that kind of stuff.
1556
01:32:57,699 --> 01:33:01,501
So, who gets opportunities
like that in midtown Manhattan
1557
01:33:01,570 --> 01:33:03,136
with all that traffic?
1558
01:33:05,307 --> 01:33:07,607
I'm willing to deal
with the available world.
1559
01:33:07,676 --> 01:33:10,110
I don't choose to shake it up,
but to live with it.
1560
01:33:10,179 --> 01:33:12,379
There's the people who spill things,
1561
01:33:12,448 --> 01:33:14,981
and there's the people
who get spilled on,
1562
01:33:15,050 --> 01:33:17,451
and I don't choose to notice the stains.
1563
01:33:17,519 --> 01:33:19,686
I have a wife, and I have children,
1564
01:33:19,755 --> 01:33:22,222
and business, like they say, is business.
1565
01:33:22,291 --> 01:33:24,825
I'm not an exceptional man,
1566
01:33:24,893 --> 01:33:28,795
so it's possible for me to stay
with things the way they are.
1567
01:33:28,864 --> 01:33:30,297
I'm lucky.
1568
01:33:30,365 --> 01:33:33,200
I'm gifted.
1569
01:33:33,268 --> 01:33:38,038
I have talent for surrender,
and I'm at peace, but you...
1570
01:33:38,107 --> 01:33:44,044
You're cursed, and I like you, Murray.
1571
01:33:44,113 --> 01:33:45,545
So it makes me sad.
1572
01:33:45,614 --> 01:33:49,683
You don't have the gift,
and I can see the torture of it.
1573
01:33:49,751 --> 01:33:53,653
All I can do is worry for you,
but I will not worry for myself.
1574
01:33:53,722 --> 01:33:56,990
You can't convince me
that I'm one of the bad guys.
1575
01:33:57,059 --> 01:33:59,993
I get up.
I go.
1576
01:34:00,062 --> 01:34:03,130
I lie a little.
I peddle a little.
1577
01:34:03,198 --> 01:34:06,333
I watch the rules.
I talk the talk.
1578
01:34:06,401 --> 01:34:09,236
We fellows have those offices
high up there
1579
01:34:09,304 --> 01:34:13,173
so that we can catch the wind
and go with it however it blows,
1580
01:34:13,242 --> 01:34:17,144
but... and I'm not gonna
apologize for it...
1581
01:34:17,212 --> 01:34:19,880
I take pride.
1582
01:34:19,948 --> 01:34:24,284
I am the best possible Arnold burns.
1583
01:34:31,126 --> 01:34:33,426
Give my regards
to Irving r. Feldman, will you?
1584
01:34:33,495 --> 01:34:34,761
Hey, Arnie.
1585
01:34:34,830 --> 01:34:37,564
Murray, please, allow me once
to leave a room before you do.
1586
01:34:51,246 --> 01:34:52,712
Hey, Murray, watch it.
1587
01:34:54,283 --> 01:34:55,782
Yeah, it's okay now.
1588
01:35:02,925 --> 01:35:05,025
Hey.
That's great Murray.
1589
01:35:05,093 --> 01:35:06,326
Hiya, Nick.
1590
01:35:06,395 --> 01:35:08,628
You don't give it enough play,
it goes into a dive.
1591
01:35:08,697 --> 01:35:09,930
Let's go downstairs.
1592
01:35:09,998 --> 01:35:11,765
Murray...
I want to talk to you.
1593
01:35:11,833 --> 01:35:14,401
This afternoon in school,
I made a decision.
1594
01:35:14,469 --> 01:35:17,103
Right in the middle
of creative geography class,
1595
01:35:17,172 --> 01:35:19,906
I decided that since
you were getting a job today,
1596
01:35:19,975 --> 01:35:22,609
then I made up my mind
it was time for me, also,
1597
01:35:22,678 --> 01:35:26,012
to finish a certain matter
which I've been putting off.
1598
01:35:26,081 --> 01:35:27,814
See, for the past couple of months,
1599
01:35:27,883 --> 01:35:29,716
I've been considering different names,
1600
01:35:29,785 --> 01:35:31,518
'cause in 4 weeks I am gonna be 13,
119929
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