Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.BZ

-Hey Jennifer.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ

I'm making you this video, and I know what you're thinking.

You're watching it and you're thinking, why?

Why, why is he making me this video?

And it's because, it's because, baby, I know.

I know you've been cheating on me.

So I got your text, come over and finish

what we started last night.

OFFSCREEN: It's uh, it's not really-- uh, there you--

JOEY: Can she see that?

Can see it?

OFFSCREEN: Uh, we're going to have to--

JOEY: You know what? We'll put it in post.

OFFSCREEN: Yeah, we're going to have to put it in the post.

-I'll cut this video together for you, Jennifer.

Because I want you to know that I know.

We're going to go over, we're going

to go over to your place tonight.

And we're going to stake it out.

And we're going to catch you in the act.

So that you know that it wasn't my fault that any of this

happened, Jennifer.

That any of the stuff that's about to happen happened--

it's your fault.

Because you can't be a cheating whore

and have no repercussions, Jen, baby, come on.

So this video is for you.

And I think you're going to like it.

JOEY: And through the magic of editing,

here's your fucking text message.

JOEY: So, is the light on?

It's on.

So Jennifer, I bet you're wondering--

-Get that shit out of my face, dude.

JOEY: Come on Steve, just look at the camera for a sec.

This is my cousin, Steven.

-Fucking woke me up at like four in the morning, dude, to film

some stupid fucking little video for you.

JOEY: Steve, this is important.

So--

-Fucking, get-- the fucking light is in my fucking face,

bro.

JOEY: We need to see you.

So this is Steve.

Steve is going to help me catch you in the act, Jen.

He's going to be filming us.

-Yeah, I am.

JOEY: He's going to be filming us.

And we're going to wait.

It's so cold, man.

We're going to wait all night in the cold until we find,

we find you.

-We gotta fucking fly back to fucking bum fuck,

where you fucking live.

JOEY: Well, that's right, Jen.

Steve's going to hop on a plane with me,

and we're going to go back.

We're going to go back to catch you, both of us.

-Yeah, we are.

JOEY: And the whole world is going

to know that you shouldn't be a skanky ho,

'cause you get caught.

-Yeah.

It's cold as fuck.

JOEY: Let's go inside.

-Yeah.

-So, uh, I just, I just booked our flights.

And we're coming back, um-- and I'm listening to the song

that I wrote for, for you.

And you know, I just-- I guess it's making me realize that um,

that I, maybe I always cared more for you

than you than you did for me.

It's not surprise, I guess.

It's not a surprise that you would do something like this.

So.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

STEVEN: Joey, turn that shit off--

-Sorry man, sorry.

Sorry.

STEVEN: Go to bed, man.

JOEY: I'm going.

[FAUCET RUNNING]

-You know, I know I said I was going to go to sleep, Jennifer,

but um-- you know, I'm trying to be strong here.

I really am.

But this is-- this is pretty messed up.

You know, I just really hope that this just ends well.

And that It's just a misunderstanding.

Because I don't know, I don't know what I'd do without you.

OK.

I don't know.

STEVEN: Joey, Joey.

Joey.

-What?

STEVEN: Wake up, man.

Wake up, bro.

Come on.

-Stop man.

STEVEN: Why are you so sleepy, dude?

Didn't you sleep last night, dude?

-Yeah, I slept last night.

Yeah.

Why did you poke me, man?

God.

You know I hate flying.

STEVEN: Yeah, well, we've got to get boarding soon, man.

I'm just trying to wake you up.

Do you want to get something to eat, or drink, or something?

-Yeah.

STEVEN: Want some coffee?

-Yeah.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Ladies and gentleman,

this is the final boarding call for Flight 2430,

Dallas-Fort Worth.

All passengers with boarding cards may now proceed to 47B.

Final boarding.

STEVEN: That's us, man.

-All right, All right, let's go.

JOEY: Turn it off.

Turn it off, turn that thing off.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

STEVEN: Oh, little Joey's scared.

JOEY: It's not funny, shut up, man.

Shut up.

STEVEN: We're going to take off, he's so scared.

You know the plane's going to crash, Joey.

-Turn it-- turn it off.

STEVEN: I'm not turning it off.

You're scared.

[STEVEN LAUGHING]

JOEY: Fuck, man.

-Look.

Hey man, the plane's gonna crash.

The plane's going to crash.

JOEY: You're making me believe that, stop.

STEVEN: Look, we're in the air.

Oh no.

JOEY: Oh my god.

[KNOCKING]

STEWARDESS: Sir?

JOEY: Oh, Jesus Christ.

STEWARDESS: You can't be in there right now.

JOEY: Just leave me alone, I'm OK.

Just leave me alone.

Fuck.

What the fuck is this bitch doing?

STEWARDESS: Don't talk to me like that.

JOEY: Just leave me alone, I'm fine in here.

Just go away.

I just need a second-- STEWARDESS: Open the door.

JOEY: No.

STEWARDESS: Or I'll get the Air Marshall.

JOEY: This plane is going to go down, I know it.

I know the plane is going to go down.

STEWARDESS: Air Marshall.

STEVEN: So, Joey had a panic attack because of the plane,

as well as, I guess, things that are going on with Jennifer.

And uh, we had to take him to the ER.

Um, It's actually kind of funny.

JOEY: It's not funny.

STEVEN: Because uh-- he was like, I'm dying.

I'm dying.

And then we brought him here.

JOEY: It's not funny.

The airport people almost arrested me.

-We got off the plane, and he had a panic attack,

it was hilarious.

I guess it's jet lag at it's finest, right?

-Can we just-- we need to get home now.

Let's just get out of here.

STEVEN: Well, we gotta wait for them to release you.

We'll check back when they uh-- when they release him.

-Don't put that in the video to Jennifer.

That's not going--

-You see what you do to him, Jen?

STEVEN: Four fucking days later.

Fuck.

-Dude, I'm going to call Martin real quick.

Nah, man.

Nah.

STEVEN: I already fucking called him, dude.

Seriously.

He's going to be here soon.

JOEY: OK, well, where is he? Just let me call him, man.

STEVEN: No.

Bro.

Like, seriously.

I'm sorry, like, you kind of fucked up.

Like, I already told him they released you.

It's cool.

You don't need to call him.

-This whole situation's so fucked up, man.

STEVEN: Yeah, well you shouldn't have

fucking been all like fucking Joey Bin Ladin up in there.

And fucking getting us put on a fucking no-fly list.

-I told-- I told you that I don't like flying.

STEVEN: I might--

-I told you.

STEVEN: I might even be on a fucking no-fly list,

thanks for that, bro.

Seriously.

-Next time, we'll just take

STEVEN: Yeah.

Whatever, man.

Just fucking call him then.

-Calling him.

STEVEN: Hey, dude.

Dude. Speakerphone that shit.

-Can't get any fricking reception over here, man.

There's a stupid plane.

-Yo.

Yo, you there?

STEVEN: Turn it up, I can't hear it.

-Hello, yo.

Martin.

Martin, you there?

There you are, man.

You almost here?

MARTIN: Uh, where you guys at?

You guys still at the hospital?

-Yeah, we're still at the hospital, man.

MARTIN: Dude.

All right, All right.

STEVEN: What's up, Marty?

-Come on.

STEVEN: Hey, take this, take this.

STEVEN: What's up Marty? JOEY: Give me back my phone.

STEVEN: What up, buddy?

MARTIN: What's going on.

You're at the hospital.

-Yeah, fucking Joey Bin Ladin over here,

got us put on a fucking no-fly list, so we can't even fly.

Hey, bro?

He had like a panic attack, or some shit.

Hey dude--

MARTIN: What do you need bro?

-Can you uh-- like first, after you pick us up, no actually,

before you pick us up, can you grab

the luggage from the airport?

MARTIN: Man, come on.

Really?

STEVEN: Yeah, dude.

Hey move, this car is right here.

MARTIN: All right, All right, All right.

What uh-- All right. I'll go get it.

STEVEN: And also, hey dude.

I need to ask you a favor, bro.

Do you think you can drive us to Joey's house?

He needs to see Jennifer.

MARTIN: What the fuck.

Come on, dude.

I've got--

-All right.

I'll see you in a minute, bro.

Hey, I'll see you soon.

Thanks for taking us.

Hang this shit up.

Hang it up.

Yeah, hey.

So, you'll probably have to give him road head for the ride,

bro.

JOEY: So funny.

-If you want to see Jennifer, you're

going to have to give him road head.

JOEY: Shut up, dude.

-Hey, I think he'll settle for at least just the tip.

-He's not here, I'm walking.

STEVEN: Yeah dude.

He's pulling up right now.

-Jesus Christ, two hours later.

What the fuck's he doing?

STEVEN: I don't know, he's taking his time.

JOEY: He's stoned again, that's what's up.

-What's up?

Come on, let's go. STEVEN: What's up, Marty?

MARTIN: Let's go, baby.

STEVEN: Hey, bitch tits, hop in the back.

MARTIN: What's up, sick boy?

STEVEN: Oh, you got

The door is stuck.

-Come on, don't fuck with my car.

STEVEN: I'm a big boy.

-Let's go, what are we doing, boys?

STEVEN: Uh, fucking-- did you get the luggage, man?

-Yeah, it's in the trunk. STEVEN: All right, for sure.

Yeah, we've been fucking stuck--

-Who's blowing me for getting the luggage, by the way?

STEVEN: We've been fucking stuck at the fucking hospital

for a couple days because of this kid.

Fucking, my beard is all fucked and shit, look at this.

I fucking grew my beard out because this fucker--

they put him fucking on like a psyche eval, or some shit.

Why were you--

MARTIN: Crazy boy, crazy boy.

What happened, man?

What happened?

Come on, talk to us.

JOEY: Nothing happened, they just asked me some questions.

I flipped out on a airplane.

I told this guy I don't like flying.

He doesn't listen to me.

STEVEN: Hey dude, document this shit, it's too hard for me

to hold.

-We're making a video to show Jennifer.

JOEY: We're not putting this in the video.

STEVEN: Why not?

JOEY: You keep shooting stupid stuff.

We're not putting any of the hospital stuff in the video.

STEVEN: Hey, you made me in charge of shooting everything,

and that's what I'm doing.

JOEY: Jennifer's going to think I'm crazy.

-Hey, I know that dude, I know that guy.

Did you see him?

I fucking sold him some shit, like a month ago.

JOEY: This is the shoddiest area, dude.

-You want anything from the store, man?

STEVEN: No, I'm good, dude.

JOEY: OK.

I'll be right back.

STEVEN: Hey dude, I fucking hate how your car

doesn't have fucking four doors.

-Dude, come on. What do you want to do?

You wanna walk to go out tonight?

Carry the chicks on your back?

They'll like that, man.

STEVEN: Yeah, He-Man.

-Dude, what's with the camera?

You're going to film all my shit.

Come on, the light's fucking killing me, dude.

STEVEN: I'm filming all this stuff

for a video Joey is making for Jennifer.

-Fucking Jennifer, Jesus.

It's all he ever talks about, man.

You ever met this girl?

STEVEN: Nah, but he's been with her a while and stuff now.

She uh-- he thinks she's cheating on him.

-Fuck.

Probably, man.

STEVEN: What do you mean, probably?

-Let's just get him laid.

Come on, man.

STEVEN: Well, I mean, like-- I think that might help him,

dude.

But he's having a hard time, for real.

-All right.

What do you want me to do?

I'm here for you.

STEVEN: I think we need to um--

-Get some fucking really good drugs.

STEVEN: No, I think--

-Dude, I have a pill and a half of X back there--

STEVEN: I think we-- I think we need

to drive him to go see her, bro.

Like, seriously, I think he needs it.

He's having a really rough time.

-Come on, dude.

STEVEN: He's having a really rough time, man.

-I'm tell you, man. Give him one night.

One night with me, he's going to be set.

He's not even going to fucking think about this girl.

STEVEN: Fine.

We'll do one night, but--

-Like we used to, come on, Stevie.

STEVEN: All right, bro.

We'll do one night.

But if it doesn't work out, you know.

I think he's coming back from the store.

-What the hell is he doing in there?

STEVEN: I don't know.

-Come on, come on.

Let's go, let's go.

Let's go.

-Straight ghetto, dude.

STEVEN: What?

-Join me.

STEVEN: Yeah, yeah.

One-- Hey, is Jennifer a cop?

-She's not a cop.

Doesn't even make any sense.

-Dude, what the fuck?

STEVEN: I just filmed you smoking.

-Dude, she's not a cop, is she?

-Yeah, she is.

-Is she really a fucking cop?

JOEY: She's a cop.

-This is bullshit.

Don't be doing that to me, man.

Stevie, this shit ain't funny, man, come on.

She ain't a cop, right?

-She's not a cop, dude.

Are you kidding me?

-Fuckers, man.

Bullshit.

Fucking with me.

STEVEN: Dude, she's totally a cop though.

He's lying to you.

-Fuck you and your cops.

STEVEN: He was trying to set you up.

What the fuck do you have that kind of phone for?

-Dude, this is-- look at this shit, it flips.

Huh?

You gotta phone that flips?

Technology, man.

STEVEN: What are you doing over there, buddy?

-I told him, I'm going to hack her fucking Facebook.

STEVEN: What do you mean you're going to hack her Facebook?

-I'm going to hack her Facebook.

I'm going to figure this out.

STEVEN: Why are you trying to hack her Facebook?

-To know if she's cheating on me.

That's the whole point of the freaking movie, man.

You guys won't take me back to my place,

so I'm going to prove it right now.

I'm googling it, right now.

How to hack Facebook.

MARTIN: Dude, are you going to fuck up my computer?

JOEY: I'm just trying to google--

-I do use that shit, I know it's slow, but I do use it.

STEVEN: You know, that's how he's

going to alert the cops to you.

-That fucking light, man.

You're killing me.

I'm going to piss.

Fuck you guys.

-Your friend's insane. STEVEN: You're insane.

You're the one fucking hacking Facebook.

-You won't take me to my place. This is how I'm going to prove--

STEVEN: You should just call her, man.

Seriously, you should just call her.

-I'm not going to-- you call your girlfriend

and you say, hey babe, um, you texted me

that you wanted to have sex with another guy.

STEVEN: Why don't you bring it up?

Maybe it was for you.

-I'm not going to call her.

STEVEN: I think you should call her.

-Come on, psycho.

Let's go.

STEVEN: I Think we should go out tonight, man.

MARTIN: Joey, you

STEVEN: Come on.

Get some dick wet, dude.

MARTIN: I'm telling you, man, these three girls.

They're guarantees, man.

They're guarantees.

STEVEN: I remember like, look, look.

When I was, you know, when me and my girl go broke up,

OK, I-- I had to hop back on the horse, too.

So what I did is, I sent out like,

all these text messages to girls that I knew.

Sent out a bunch of text messages.

I said, hey babe, I think you're really cute.

And, like, you know, I think you should

uh-- I think we should go on a date some time.

I kind of fucked up, though.

Because I didn't realize that it was a group message.

So all of them saw that I sent it to one another.

So I need to get laid.

OK?

Just like you, OK?

I have, like, 30 girls that won't talk to me now.

MARTIN: No shit.

I bet that didn't work too well.

MARTIN: Yeah, better than your fucking bong rips, bitch.

-Oh, you're missing out on my bong rips, bitch.

STEVEN: All right, let me hit that.

-Take some, brother.

-All right, if I'm going out, I'm shaving, too.

-Dude, don't give the crazy man the razors.

Come on, man.

Chicks love the hair, man.

They'll love your facial hair.

-You don't have the cute baby face that I've got, man.

-I'm shaving.

-We gotta get going.

-I'm shaving.

-Joey's looking all swag and shit.

He has something to say.

-OK-- OK, I'll say it.

Um-- fine.

This-- it might actually be a good time.

I'm going to-- I've decided that Martin might be right, and--

MARTIN: Might be ready, are you kidding me?

Come on, dude.

JOEY: You haven't always been right--

-You tell him I'm always right.

You might be right?

Come on, Joey.

-So I don't know, I snazzed up.

And maybe, you know, meet some people, hang out.

Be fun, right?

Fun, it's going to be fun.

It's going to be fun.

STEVEN: And you're gonna?

-I'm going to talk to some girls--

MARTIN: Your boy's gonna get his dick wet, get his dick wet.

-Ow.

Martin literally just smashed my penis.

So I don't know how wet it's going to get, now.

STEVEN: Wet with your own blood.

-Let's go, though.

It will be fun.

-Boys ready to have your minds blown?

-What's the saxophone, where--

-Come on. STEVEN: Where's the music, bro?

MARTIN: Let's go.

Let's go.

All right.

-What's up?

-How you doing, man?

Good to see you.

Where is everybody?

-I don't know.

-It's all right.

Do you have any weed?

-Dude, what the fuck is this?

Martin, what the fuck?

-Nah, it's good, it's good.

Listen dude--

JOEY: There's like four people here.

-Dude, I've got three chicks coming.

Come on, come on, come on. Let's go.

Joey, come on, Stevie. come on.

STEVEN: Hey, so I'm making this video for my buddy,

my buddy Joey.

His girlfriend cheated on him, and so we're

going to give this video to her--

-Joey?

Who's Joey?

Is that Joey?

She cheated on him?

-No way.

STEVEN: All right, so I want to record something

of people saying something to her.

-Fuck you, Jennifer.

Fuck you.

Joey's my man tonight.

-Um, I thought we agreed I had dibs?

-Oh, OK.

-No, no, no.

STEVEN: All right, thanks.

OFFSCREEN: Fuck Jennifer.

-Fuck that ho.

-Fuck Jennifer.

-Dude, that little cunt--

-Fucking bitch.

-Who the fuck is Jennifer?

-Fuck you, Jennifer.

You're a goddamn slut.

-Dude, you already know how I feel about Jennifer,

get that shit out of my face.

STEVEN: Say fuck you Jennifer.

Say fuck you Jennifer.

-Fuck you Jennifer.

-Joey, Joey, Joey.

Hannah, hey.

Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah

STEVEN: Are you going to drink that, bro?

-Joey, Joey.

Come here.

Hannah, I want to introduce you to--this is Joey.

Joey, this is Hannah. -Hi.

Nice to meet you.

STEVEN: You guys, you guys. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, hey, hey.

Can you guys, can you guys like scoot together for me?

-Hey.

STEVEN: I am making a video for his ex-girlfriend, Jennifer.

Who cheated on him.

And we're giving a video to her and she's

going to be like, watching this.

And can you say something to her for us?

-You are fucking terrible. -Fuck that shit.

-No.

-That is not cool.

That is--

STEVEN: And you are fucking cute.

You are cute.

[GLASS BREAKING]

STEVEN: Marty, Marty, are these the three

girls you were talking about? -Of course, are you kidding me?

Hannah, Joey.

STEVEN: Hey, Joey.

go talk to her.

Go talk to her.

-He needs some womanly advice.

He needs some womanly advice. -Well, I've got plenty of it.

-Oh, come here, come here.

-Go, go talk.

MARTIN: Careful Joey, I'm going to come

in here with these two ladies.

STEVEN: What, no, no, no, hey.

Marty, Marty.

-My girlfriend broke up with me, too.

It was awful, I was so good to her.

I need some attention.

STEVEN: Hey, bro.

Marty, Marty, Marty, hey Martin, you fuck head.

Something is going on outside with Joey.

Hey what the fuck?

[ALL YELLING]

STEVEN: Get off him, get off him.

-What?

What?

What?

STEVEN: Get out here.

STEVEN: Dude, my hand is all fucked up.

Fucked up, Joey.

Say something.

-Fuck you.

-What's his name?

-Joey, Joey.

Did you see how I hit that dude?

-You hit Joey?

STEVEN: No, no, I didn't hit Joey.

OFFSCREEN: Who did you hit?

STEVEN: That one dude.

-Wait.

Let me see-- I'm so sorry, let me see your eye.

JOEY: It's OK, I'm OK.

No, I'm OK, Hey.

I'm OK, I'm OK.

Really, no.

I'm OK.

Yeah, I'm going to go clean it up myself.

I'll be right back.

STEVEN: Hey, where you going?

JOEY: I'm just going to clean up my face, man.

STEVEN: What the fuck, bro?

JOEY: I'll leave-- I'll be back.

I'll be right back.

You see, Jen?

I don't cheat on you.

I'm not that kind of guy.

I could have cheated on you so many times tonight.

I could have cheated on you right--

I could have cheated on you right there.

But I don't.

I don't.

Because I'm not that kind of guy.

But you-- you're that kind of fucking girl.

And you know, I'm going to come down.

No more fucking pit stops with these fucking idiots.

I'm going to come down, and I'm going

to fucking prove to the whole goddamn world

that you are a fucking whore.

I'm coming for you, Jennifer.

And I'm going to show the world who you are.

JOEY: Hey, Mom.

-Hey, Joey.

Hi.

-Hey, I just wanted to call and let

you know that I'm going to be home in a couple days.

-Whoa, what happened to your face?

It looks like it's all bruised-- -Oh, I-- Mom, it's nothing, Mom.

It's just um-- it's nothing.

It's just, it's nothing at all.

Don't worry.

-No, there's--

-Hey, Aunt Grace.

-Hey, Steven.

-Yeah, no.

He got punched in the face.

-Hey, shut up, Steve.

-You got punched in the face? -No, Mom.

Mom, it's just a misunderstanding.

-Who punched you in the face?

-It was nothing, it was no big deal.

-He got punched right in the face.

-Steve, shut up. -Did you go to the hospital?

I mean, are you OK?

-No, I don't need to go to the hospital.

-He's already been to the hospital this week.

-Steve.

Steve, fuck off.

STEVEN: Dude.

Man, fuck you, dude.

You're like a little, fucking, whiny bitch.

[DOOR SLAMS]

-Sorry, Mom.

-Is everything OK? -Yeah, I'm sorry Mom.

It's just-- Steve has been driving me crazy.

I-- I was supposed to take a plane, originally, you know.

-Yeah.

-And then decided to go on this stupid road trip.

And they've been taking all these pit stops,

and I just want to get home. I just want to get home.

-Yeah, uh-- I just want you to get home, too.

I miss you.

So uh--

-Jennifer's been acting weird--

-Yeah, she is?

-Mm-hmm.

-I was just going to ask you about her.

Like, uh-- what's up with her?

-She's been weird, Mom.

I don't know.

I just-- she's been acting really-- I don't know.

-I'll tell you what the weird thing is, the weird thing is

that you guys have been going out for, what?

Two years now?

And I've never met her.

That is really weird.

-Yeah, no.

Mom, I, I I-- we've been through this already.

I told you, like, you're never in the same place.

She travels a lot, and you know, and you just-- you've never

been in town when she's in town.

-I accept all of that.

But why can't we have a Skype conversation,

like I'm having with you right now.

That would solve all the problems.

And I can finally meet her.

-OK, you're going to-- I need-- soon.

How about for your birthday?

OK?

-OK, a compromise.

OK.

It's just strange, that's all.

You know that.

-I know.

OK, well, I've got to go.

I gotta go--

-So, when will you-- when will you get home?

-I'm going to be home, I'm going to be home in a couple days,

I promise.

I gotta go apologize to Steve.

-OK.

-I'll be home soon.

-Call me, see?

-I'll call you.

-I love you.

-I love you.

Bye, Mom.

-Bye.

STEVEN: Hey, Martin.

Martin.

Martin.

Martin.

-Fuck, dude--

STEVEN: Marty, get up.

-What?

STEVEN: Dude, dude, dude--

-What?

STEVEN: Joey's putting on make up in the bathroom.

-Get the fuck out of here.

STEVEN: He's putting on make up in the bathroom.

-What the-- what do you mean he's putting on make up?

STEVEN: He's covering up the bruise on his face,

he's putting on make up.

-Fuck you, he's putting on make up?

STEVEN: Come look at this, shh.

shh.

Quiet, quiet, come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Wait, wait wait.

we gotta be like a Navy Seal.

-What?

MARTIN: Hey, pretty boy.

You look good, man.

-Whatever, guys.

-No, hold on. Is that your shade?

Dude, I don't think that's his shade.

I don't think that fits your skin tone right, dude.

JOEY: It looks fine.

-Do you have any lip gloss?

Get the dude some lip gloss.

-Are you seriously making fun of me?

-No, no, you look pretty, it's good.

No.

-Are you seriously making fun of me right now?

-No, it looks good.

Look at his face.

Look how pretty he is, huh?

STEVEN: We should get him a dress.

-I had to cover it up, man.

-Oh, is it-- is Jennifer a lesbian?

Is that what's going on here?

You want to prettier because she's a lesbian?

Fuck.

-I don't want Jennifer thinking I'm a psychopath.

MARTIN: Shit.

STEVEN: Looks good, Joey.

-Yeah?

STEVEN: Yeah, yeah.

it wouldn't even look like you got punched in the face

and fucked the fuck up.

-So funny, you guys.

You're so funny.

So when are we going to see Jennifer, huh?

What?

Come on.

MARTIN: Christ.

JOEY: That's what we're doing.

-Aren't we passed that?

Come on, dude.

JOEY: No, we're--

-Did you have a good time last night,

got the shit kicked out of you, could have gotten laid,

come on.

What else do you want?

-I did that for you guys.

So I'm just hoping that you guys will do something for me,

you know? MARTIN: Shit.

Last night was all for you.

It was all for you.

JOEY: Come on, I did that-- I did that for you guys.

-Dude, I can't go on a trip, OK?

I have responsibilities, I have shit to do.

JOEY: Smoking weed is not a responsibility, Martin.

-Not your world.

Come on, dude.

Listen.

Listen to me.

We live in a world of technology, OK?

We got phones and shit.

Why don't you just call her?

Call her.

STEVEN: He's right, chicks dig when you call them.

-Thank you.

Just call her and deal with this shit, OK?

JOEY: And say what?

-Tell her how much you love her, and she'll tell you the same.

And then it will all be OK.

So, just call her.

Instead of making this fucking trip.

STEVEN: Hey dude, I'm getting one of these, like, you know,

Spike Lee angles.

-I'm getting a little tired

-OK, calling her is not a bad idea.

I'll call her.

But I'm not-- I'm not going to call her from my phone,

because if something is up, she's

just going to avoid my phone call anyways.

-What the fuck are you talking about?

-If she sees it's me, then she's just

going to put-- she's going to silence

it anyways and not on answer it.

-I don't-- dude.

I don't fucking give-- give-- give

him your-- give him this phone. Give him this phone.

STEVEN: No way, I'm busy getting an Academy Award for this.

-Jesus Christ.

Here, use my phone.

OK, call.

STEVEN: I've got to film it.

-She'll love you for it, dude.

Just get this finished, man. STEVEN: The flip phone.

I forgot you had the flip phone.

-Don't fuck with my flip phone.

STEVEN: Hey wait, hold on, hold on.

I want to get a better angle.

All right, Martin.

Let's get a drum roll.

Drum roll, please.

MARTIN: Come on, make the call.

STEVEN: He's going to call Jennifer.

For all you watching at home.

For Jennifer, when you're watching the video.

-We should probably just-- I don't

have to make the call, guys. STEVEN: Just call her.

Come on, dude.

cinematic gold.

He confronts her on the phone.

They talk.

And then--

MARTIN: This is it, Joey, this is your reality show, OK?

Come on. Make your call.

STEVEN: In a world where Joey calls Jennifer--

-Shh.

STEVEN: One man dares to call Jennifer, and his name is Joey.

-I'm calling her now, I'm calling her now.

I'm calling her right now.

STEVEN: Rated PG-13.

-Shh.

[PHONE RINGING]

STEVEN: Ooh, good.

He knows about the speaker phone.

JENNIFER: Hello?

-Hey.

STEVEN: She picked up, she picked up.

JENNIFER: Hi.

Who's this?

-It's Joey.

STEVEN: You called from

how is she supposed to know?

-It's Joey.

Joey, Joey.

JENNIFER: Joey.

Why are you calling me?

STEVEN: Why are you calling me?

What the fuck is that?

-That's what I'm saying, guys.

STEVEN: You should have-- you should

have let it play out more.

Why did you hang up?

-Oh my gosh--

[LAUGHTER]

STEVEN: You forgot to hang up?

MARTIN: Dude, just call her back.

Come on, what was that?

STEVEN: Oh my god.

-I'm not calling her back.

MARTIN: She didn't want to talk to you?

What did you do?

-What did I do is right.

STEVEN: Oh, you know women.

They always try to do it. MARTIN: Fuck this shit, man.

Come on.

Fuck her Are you kidding me?

-Can we just--

MARTIN: It's one girl.

How can you get so wrapped up on one girl?

Come on, dude.

STEVEN: What do you want to do, Joey?

-Can you-- Can we please, just one road trip.

One road trip down.

STEVEN: Hold that thought.

MARTIN: You still--

STEVEN: Wait, wait, wait.

Hold that thought.

I want to get the close up on Martin.

-Yeah, you still want to fucking go, after that call?

STEVEN: Ooh.

-She acts like she ignores you on the phone,

but you want to travel across country to see her?

Come on.

STEVEN: He wants to go to catch her--

-Come on, Joey. What the fuck is wrong with you?

STEVEN: No, no, no, no. -What?

STEVEN: He wants to go to catch her in the act, man.

I can make you one of those executive little produpers,

or something. -Come on, man Come on, dude.

STEVEN: On this film.

-Let's just hang out here in my town.

Let's party a couple more nights.

We'll have a good time.

We don't need to do this, full up with this shit.

Come on.

Come on.

Are you on my side, or what Steve?

STEVEN: Joey?

MARTIN: What?

What are we doing?

STEVEN: I don't know.

I'm kind of down to go road tripping, man.

MARTIN: Fuck you.

-Look, look, look.

That's why I told you, I shouldn't call.

I shouldn't call because you've got

to do these things in person.

I've just got to like-- let's catch

her, let's catch her in the act.

So she looks stupid.

Because I'm the one who looks stupid, now.

Now this, now this-- we can-- Martin.

Come on.

We can make this movie, seriously.

-Oh, all of a sudden, this shit's on me?

-No, the movie's going to be good.

I look stupid now.

I don't want to look stupid.

Come on.

STEVEN: He doesn't want to look stupid.

-For guys-- Martin, for guys fucking everywhere,

let's go catch her in the act.

-You owe me for this shit, Steve.

You owe me for this shit.

Let's go.

Fuck, let's go?

You want to do it?

-We're going to do it?

MARTIN: Fucking Christ.

-Martin.

MARTIN: Just get your shit.

Let's go, come on.

STEVEN: We gotta go.

-Let's go.

MARTIN: Fuck dude, I've got to stop.

Guys, I've got to stop.

JOEY: You're joking.

Are you joking?

-No, dude.

No, no.

I know this town--

-What are you talking about, we have to stop?

We've been driving for like, an hour.

MARTIN: No, there's-- this guy in this town I know--

JOEY: You don't know anybody in this town,

there is nothing in this town.

MARTIN: I do, dude.

I'm telling you.

Trust me on this, OK?

Come on.

-You don't know this town.

MARTIN: Did you have fun last night, huh?

Got your ass kicked--

-I got punched in the face last night.

That wasn't fun. -Well then, trust me.

STEVEN: You guys are fucking arguing

so goddamn much on this trip.

MARTIN: Fuck.

Listen.

I know this town. just--

JOEY: Martin, you don't know anybody in this town.

Can we please just keep going?

I thought you were into this, man.

Come on--

STEVEN: Hey Marty, why do you want to stop?

MARTIN: I just need a couple hours, listen.

We can hang out.

You want to catch a nap, we'll get a place.

It will be good, I'm telling you.

OK?

Don't worry about it.

STEVEN: Hey, you're just going to get

a drink or something, right?

MARTIN: It won't take long.

JOEY: What are you talking about?

What do you mean, a place?

MARTIN: I'm just going to get a drink.

JOEY: Martin, there is nothing in this town,

there is no where to stay. Let's just keep driving, man.

Come on.

Let's just keep driving.

MARTIN: No, I know a motel up here, dude.

JOEY: There's no motel up here.

MARTIN: No, there is, there is. Right here, right here.

STEVEN: You guys are being ridiculous.

MARTIN: Royal Hawaiian, right here.

That's the place, I stayed here.

JOEY: What are you talking about, man?

STEVEN: Oh crap, whoa dude. Drive a little better.

MARTIN: All right.

JOEY: This is--

MARTIN: Here we are.

JOEY: This is like, condemned man.

This isn't even open. There is no way this is open.

Are you joking?

STEVEN: Oh shit.

Are the windows fucking busted out?

JOEY: Are you fucking joking me right now?

STEVEN: The door is open, dude.

I want to see this place.

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

STEVEN: I want to see this place.

JOEY: No, can we please just-- STEVEN: Hop right out.

MARTIN: They've got other rooms. STEVEN: Joey, hop out.

I want to see this place.

Let me out, let me out.

Joey, let me out.

-Are you serious right now?

STEVEN: Joey, fucking let me out.

JOEY: Steve, there's

on this thing, man.

STEVEN: Holy shit.

What the fuck?

Dude, there's fucking caution tape and shit.

Look at this shit.

The windows are fucking blown out.

JOEY: Dude, fuck this shit, man. Fuck this shit.

JOEY: Dude, fuck this shit, man. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. STEVEN: What?

Fuck this shit. STEVEN: What?

JOEY: There's fucking blood on the walls, look at the walls.

STEVEN: Holy shit.

Holy shit.

There's fucking blood on the wall, and everything, dude.

Oh my god.

What the fuck?

[SCREAM]

[MARTIN LAUGHING]

STEVEN: Holy shit, dude.

Not fucking cool.

MARTIN: What the fuck is wrong--

STEVEN: Martin, what the fuck?

-Come on, dude.

This room is perfect, are you kidding me?

JOEY: No, you could get fucking murdered out here man.

Obviously someone has been murdered,

nobody fucking knows it.

If you scream out here, nobody--

STEVEN: Hey, come talk with me, come talk with me.

JOEY: No, there's nothing out here, man,

STEVEN: Come talk with me this way, please.

Come on, walk this way.

JOEY: There is nothing out here.

STEVEN: Come on, dude.

It's a fucking crime scene, man.

This hotel is--

STEVEN: They have other rooms, man.

Just let him like, chill, for like, a second, dude.

-Are you serious?

STEVEN: I want to get the sign, dude.

Come on.

Let's check this place out.

Holy Shit.

Royal Hawaiian Motel.

MARTIN: Hey, check this one out.

It's got a dead body in it.

STEVEN: Dude.

JOEY: This place is seriously condemned.

STEVEN: Hey Marty, come here.

Come here.

Get over here, now.

Get over here, dude.

Marty come here.

Hey, bro.

Do we really got to stay here, man?

-Dude, what's the problem, man?

Come on, let's go.

STEVEN: Hey, you're only going to be

gone for like couple minutes, right?

-Dude, just give me like, two hours.

STEVEN: Marty, come on, dude. -Two hours, two hours, Joey.

STEVEN: Marty, come on, dude. -Two hours, two hours, Joey. -Two hours, two hours, Joey. Come on, give it to me.

-Two hours, two hours, Joey. Come on, give it to me.

JOEY: Martin, I'm telling you, if we stay here, we're dead.

That all I'm-- if we stay here, we're dead.

-Steve, will you talk to this guy, huh?

STEVEN: Hey man, if he's only going to be like,

a couple hours, he's only going to be a couple hours,

and then we can leave, dude. -Then we can leave, dude.

STEVEN: Hey, this place creeps me out, too.

But come on.

-A couple hours.

Couple hours, Joey?

Joey's good.

A couple hours.

STEVEN: Hey Joey,

JOEY: No.

STEVEN: Joey, Joey, we're staying here, man.

MARTIN: See you later, brother.

MARTIN: I'm telling you man, I can get this thing to work.

It will work, I promise.

JOEY: The TV doesn't work and there

is one bed in here, Martin.

MARTIN: All right boys, are you all settled in?

JOEY: I don't even think this is a motel?

MARTIN: Relax Joey, Jesus.

STEVEN: Hey, hey, where-- where the fuck are you going, bro?

MARTIN: What are you going to do?

Are you going to film the whole thing?

I'll be back in twenty minutes. STEVEN: Where are you going?

MARTIN: Just settle down, relax.

STEVEN: Hey, pick me up some cigarettes,

pick me up some cigarettes.

pick me up some cigarettes. -We've literally been

-We've literally been

You realize that.

STEVEN: Dude, he said he'd be back in twenty minutes,

he's just getting something to drink.

-If we have to stop every hour, it's going to take a year--

STEVEN: Well, at least, at least we have a place to stay, right?

-This is a place-- the picture is not even straight, man.

-This is a place-- the picture is not even straight, man. STEVEN: Hey, well, I

STEVEN: Hey, well, I

Dude, relax.

-The fucking clock doesn't even work, man.

The fucking TV doesn't work.

Nothing fucking works in this place.

-What's so fucking funny?

STEVEN: You, man.

You.

You're fucking-- seriously, you're

having like a little meltdown.

-It's not fucking funny.

Martin's been gone for like four hours.

STEVEN: So?

-So, we could have been driving for four fucking hours.

We could already be-- halfway be there.

STEVEN: Dude, seriously.

You are on some little, fucking like, Jen trip,

like, all the time.

Oh, Jennifer this, Jennifer that.

Like, dude, Martin's coming back.

He's doing us the service of driving us there.

Chill the fuck out.

-I'll chill the fuck out when Martin comes back.

How about that?

Why don't you give him a fucking call instead of-- stop

filming every goddamn moment.

STEVEN: Fine, I'll call him.

Joey's asleep.

Fucking Martin.

Why do you gotta take so fucking long?

Whoa.

-Ladies, come here, come here.

Oh, Chanel, come here.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. STEVEN: Hey, hey Joey.

Joey.

Joey, he brought some prostitutes.

MARTIN: They're for you.

Look at this, Joey.

Come here, this is Chanel.

And this, this here, this is Pixie.

-Your friend's crazy. You're really cute, though.

JOEY: What the fuck, Martin?

Why the fuck do you think I want this?

-Beautiful one, who do you want, Joey?

-I don't want either of them Martin.

What the fuck do you think I'd want this for?

-He's really mad.

-No, no.

It's OK.

It's OK.

Joey, look.

Look, Joey.

-That one's not even a fucking girl.

-Joey look, huh?

-I am.

-You like this, here?

JOEY: Why would you think I would want that?

-What do you like?

JOEY: What the fuck is your problem?

STEVEN: Hey, Joey, Joey, Joey--

-Steve, are you seriously recording this right now?

STEVEN: Hold on--

JOEY: What the-- shut it the fuck off.

STEVEN: Fucking dude.

You fucking turn the camera off again,

I'm going to fucking dick slap you.

Or, I'm going to have her dick slap you.

-Are you fucking serious?

Dude, we're not showing any of this to Jennifer.

So who the fuck cares?

STEVEN: What do you mean we're not showing this to Jennifer?

Hey, I'm just trying to make a good movie for you.

-An escort, not a prostitute. -Hey, relax.

Joey, Joey, Joey.

-Martin, don't fucking touch me, Martin.

Martin, I fucking hate you.

You are a piece of shit.

STEVEN: How are you guys doing?

-It's OK.

Martin, I'm sorry. -Get the fuck off me.

-Listen--

-Martin, Martin, Martin, get the fuck off me, dude.

Do you-- stop.

-Relax.

-Martin-- STEVEN: Dude, chillax.

Chill out.

-Just relax.

-Fuck you.

-Joey-- ESCORT: God, he's so hot.

-What, see?

Look, she thinks you're hot.

She thinks you're hot.

Listen to me.

I'm not trying to fuck with you, man.

I'm trying to get you laid, that's all I just want to--

STEVEN: You guys want to rape his face?

-I-- see the anger?

It's kind of hot.

-You see Chanel?

Chanel and Pixie?

-Martin, there is is absolutely nothing

that you can fucking do in this moment

that would piss me off more.

ESCORT: Wait, hold up.

Hold the fuck up.

Did I just hear, do you have money?

-No listen, you can fuck them though.

You can fuck them.

Just--

ESCORT: You don't have any fucking money?

-You brought two fucking prostitutes,

and you want me to fucking pay them?

-No, I just--

-Are you fucking serious right now?

Are you fucking serious?

-I'm just asking.

-Fuck you.

-Shit, dude.

Fuck this shit.

Hey, fuck you, Stevie.

STEVEN: What do you mean, fuck you?

-Where the fuck is my money?

Is this some real shit?

STEVEN: Hey, hey, dude.

Who's going to pay the prostitutes?

-I want my fucking money right now.

-I didn't fuck, so I'm OK.

That's some real shit.

Um, but your friend--

-I'm going to go to the ATM.

I'll handle this.

-It's OK.

It's all good.

STEVEN: What about Martin, dude?

You gotta go talk--

-Your friend Martin-- STEVEN: Go talk to Martin.

Be chill, dude.

Please.

-OK, guys, just chill out. I'll be right back.

I'm going to go talk to Martin.

STEVEN: So, what's up guys?

I'm making a video for his uh-- Joey, who's going to pay you--

his uh, ex-girlfriend who cheated on him.

Can you guys say something to her?

-What?

STEVEN: Well, basically, like--

-I'm sorry, I'm just so zoned out.

I'm just thinking about my money.

STEVEN: No, no, no, no.

Can you like, say something to her, though? 'Cause like--

-My dick is way bigger than his.

-My dick's way bigger?

Oh shit.

Oh my god, that's right.

You--

-Shh.

-I don't think your friend knows that.

STEVEN: I think Martin knows it.

-I don't think he does.

He loved it.

STEVEN: Hey, you're pretty cute, though.

-Yeah.

STEVEN: I was talking to her, but-- you already

slept with Martin, I don't homie hop.

-Two hours later.

STEVEN: Joey's coming back with your money.

-It seems like he's struggling to open the door.

STEVEN: Hey, dude, where's Martin?

-Uh--

ESCORT: Probably fucking somebody else.

-Let me talk to you about that in a sec.

Here.

-Thank you.

STEVEN: Wait, you don't want to

-I'm good, man.

STEVEN: He's uh-- he's telling you to leave.

Call me.

-I'm not calling you.

I'm going to call him.

STEVEN: What?

Dude, you've got a prostitute that's going to call you.

-All right, all right.

ESCORT: I love you.

-Jesus Christ.

Um, all right, look.

Uh, Martin's pretty upset.

So he's just going to go back home.

And we gotta continue the venture ourselves.

STEVEN: Well, how the fuck are we going to get there?

-No, he's-- it's cool, man.

He gave me the car.

STEVEN: He let you borrow the car?

How did he get home?

-Took a cab.

It's fucking an hour a way, man.

Of course, he took a cab.

STEVEN: He took a cab for an hour?

-It's like--

STEVEN: Martin has no money.

How did he afford that?

-I got some extra money out of the ATM.

He's back home.

Um--

STEVEN: Dude, I've got to call him.

-Look, you don't got to call him.

He just needs to cool down.

We need to get back on the road right now.

STEVEN: Right now?

-Right now.

STEVEN: All right, man.

Fine.

Fucking Martin.

Hey dude, you sure Martin's OK with this?

-Martin is fine.

He gave me the car, man.

STEVEN: Yeah, but like, what the fuck, dude?

Like, how are we going to get the fucking car back to him?

-You just get the car back to him.

Why are you asking so many goddamn questions, man?

STEVEN: Because Martin's my friend.

-Martin gave me the car so that we could keep going.

Martin doesn't want to go.

We do. STEVEN: OK, it just doesn't--

-Do you want to go? STEVEN: It just doesn't--

-Do you want to fucking go?

STEVEN: Yes, I want to go.

Because I want to finish your little movie, bro.

But seriously, that does not sound like Martin to me.

OK, Martin is a selfish asshole, you know Martin.

OK?

Why the fuck would he let us borrow the car?

It's ridiculous.

And how are we supposed to get it back to him?

Seriously, man.

So fucked.

OK, can I just call him?

Can I use your phone? Can I call him, please?

-No.

You're not-- he said, don't call him.

He said, just leave him be for a little bit,

call him in a couple days, that's it.

STEVEN: Is he drunk, or something?

-No, he's not fucking drunk, OK?

He just wants to be left the fuck alone.

STEVEN: OK, seriously--

-He just-- Steve.

He just wants to be left alone. And so fucking do I, right now.

Can you shut the goddamn camera off?

STEVEN: Fine.

Goddamn it.

STEVEN: Since Martin's not coming with us, man,

can we at least like give him a little shout out in the video,

or something?

Please?

Dude, I've known him since I was a little kid.

I know you don't fucking care about that shit,

but he's my close friend.

OK?

He's been like a fucking brother to me.

Can you at least give him like a little shout out?

-Yeah, fine.

Fuck you, Martin.

STEVEN: What do you mean, fuck you Martin?

He's letting us use the goddamn car.

-Who gives a shit?

We should have been there a couple days ago, man.

STEVEN: He's being really-- dude, you seriously,

you've got a fucking attitude.

-He's being really nice? He's being really fucking nice.

He got me punched in the fucking face,

he made me stay in a goddamn run-down motel,

he tried to make me sleep with a transvestite fucking hooker.

Are you kidding me?

STEVEN: Classic Martin, dude.

What?

Martin's hilarious.

Come on.

Seriously, he's been giving you gold on this fucking movie.

Jennifer is going to love this movie because of Martin.

OK?

Half of the shit that happened in this movie

wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Martin.

Say something nice to him, please.

Be like, Martin, thank you for the car.

At least say that.

-Martin, thanks for an adventure.

Hope you're having fun, wherever the hell you are.

STEVEN: And say, thanks for the car.

-Thanks for the car.

-Yeah, Marty.

Hey, Joey.

Joey, can we pull over man?

It's starting to fucking smell in here.

Fucking I don't know if it's your BO, or my BO.

Or like, Martin took a dump in the back seat, or, something.

But like, it's starting to reek.

And I've got to take a piss.

And I'm hungry.

And I'm thirsty.

And I want to stop at a gas station, dude.

-No.

STEVEN: What do you mean, no?

-I mean no.

STEVEN: Dude, what do you mean no?

-What I said.

I mean no.

STEVEN: Why?

-Because we're getting to Jennifer.

STEVEN: Joey, Joey, it's your cousin Steven, Joey.

Joey, look at me, Joey.

Joey, please, Joey.

-We're not stopping.

STEVEN: Well, dude, I gotta take a fucking piss.

-Then you can pee out the window.

STEVEN: You're a fucking dick, man.

We're almost to Jennifer.

You got anything you want to say to Jennifer

before we get there, dude?

We're getting to the end of this little movie film here.

-Um--

STEVEN: Come on.

-I'll see you soon, Jennifer.

STEVEN: Aww, that's cute, dude.

Do you think she's cheating?

-I hope not.

STEVEN: It's like, this whole movie,

he just had separation anxiety.

I'm excited to meet her, to be honest.

Give her a kiss.

-This is stupid.

STEVEN: Give her a kiss, come on.

Kiss the camera.

Kiss it.

Kiss it.

-Camera on?

STEVEN: Yeah, yeah, the camera's on, bro.

-All right, well, hey Jennifer.

Finally made it.

We are here, we're going right up to your place.

STEVEN: Wait, point again.

Is that it?

With the light on?

JOEY: That's the one, looks like she's home.

STEVEN: All right, so what's the plan?

-We should just stake it out, yeah.

Watch for a little bit, you know?

STEVEN: What?

We're staking it out?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

STEVEN: All right, man.

Cool.

We're doing a stake out.

Turn off the lights.

That's her house, we're filming her house.

JOEY: Who the hell's car just pulled up, man?

STEVEN: I don't know, man.

-That's not-- those aren't-- no, that's not her car.

STEVEN: Oh shit, there's a bug on the window.

JOEY: Steve.

This is fucking serious, dude.

I don't know who's car that is.

STEVEN: There's a bunch of cars driving by, dude.

JOEY: Fuck, dude.

This is the worst goddamn stake out ever.

What the fuck, man?

STEVEN: Hey, dude, dude, dude.

The lights just cut off on the house.

Hey bro, two people are just coming out

of the fucking house.

Looks like a guy and a girl.

-What the fuck, man?

I told you, Steve.

I fucking told you, man.

I just-- what the fuck?

STEVEN: Dude, I've got to get this on video.

I've got to get this on video.

JOEY: What the fuck.

What the fuck, man.

That's two fucking years, Jennifer.

Goddamn it.

STEVEN: Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

JOEY: God fucking damn it.

Are you fucking laughing right now?

Are you serious?

Fuck you, Steve.

Are you serious?

STEVEN: I'm just getting cinematic gold, man.

-Put the fucking camera off, right now.

STEVEN: Hey, what are we doing? -You need to shut the fuck up.

STEVEN: Hey, what are we doing? -You need to shut the fuck up. -You need to shut the fuck up. Just be quiet, I'll tell you.

-You need to shut the fuck up. Just be quiet, I'll tell you.

Follow me. STEVEN: That's Jennifer's house.

Wait up, wait up.

[DOG BARKS]

STEVEN: They have a dog?

What are you doing?

I can't fucking jump up there.

-Just follow me, we're going to get in.

STEVEN: Holy fuck, oh shit. Shit, they're pulling up.

I'm going to get a good angle, dude.

JOEY: Steve, what are you doing?

JOEY: Steve, what are you doing? Steve.

Steve.

Steve, no.

STEVEN: They don't know me, I'm just going to walk right by.

They don't know me, I'm going to walk by.

I'm going to walk by.

They don't know me, I'm just going to walk by.

JOEY: Steve, no.

STEVEN: Hey, do you guys know what time it is?

Do you know what time it is?

-Uh, 7:47.

STEVEN: Thank you.

Sorry.

-It's OK.

STEVEN: My car is this way.

What the fuck? Chill out, chill out.

JOEY: Are you fucking serious?

STEVEN: Dude, dude, dude, come on.

They fucking saw me, I had to say something.

I have a fucking camera.

JOEY: You fucking walked past them

with a goddamn camera in you hand?

Are you serious, Steve?

STEVEN: I wanted to-- It's for your fucking movie.

Come talk with me in the car, dude.

-No, you sit your ass in the fucking car.

I'm going.

-So, what's the plan, dude? What are we going to fucking do?

-Stop-- we're not doing anything.

You're going to sit right fucking--

-What do you mean I'm going to sit right fucking here?

-You're going to sit right here--

-No, no, no, no, hey, look.

I can go into the trunk, I can get the flashlight--

-No.

Steve.

You're not going into the goddamn trunk.

Steve, stop.

Do one thing for me.

Steve, please.

One goddamn thing for me, just sit--

-But what are you going to do?

Are you going to go confront her?

Are you going to--

-I'm going to confront her, I'm going to confront--

-Can I go watch, please?

-No.

Well then, at least take the fucking camera--

-No.

I don't want the fucking camera, Steve.

-Why do you not want the camera with you?

-I don't want the goddamn camera.

-What about the video?

-Steve, I just want you to do one thing

for me, one last goddamn thing.

Just fucking sit here, please.

-No, no, no, no, what about the video?

-I don't care. -What about the fucking video?

The whole fucking point of the trip was a goddamn video.

You fucking asshole.

Fuck. Fuck this, I'm going inside.

Oh, dude, fucking Joey left the trunk open?

Score.

Marty?

[CRYING]

STEVEN: Fuck, I'm sorry, bro.

[BREATHING HEAVY]

[DOOR SLAMS]

STEVEN: Joey?

Joey, why is Martin in the trunk?

Joey, if you don't come out, I'm

Joey?

Fucking dogs.

Joey, we need to go.

Fucking lights don't fucking work.

Joey?

What the fuck is this place?

Joey?

Joey, I swear to god, come the fuck out.

Where the fuck are you?

Joey, this is not fucking cool, man.

Joey.

Joey, did you kill Martin?

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fucking mirror.

What the fuck?

Joey?

Joey?

JOEY: Steve.

STEVEN: Joey.

JOEY: Weren't you supposed to wait in the car?

STEVEN: Joey, Joey, Joey, stay right there.

Joey, what the fuck did you do? Joey, where's Jennifer?

Jennifer?

[THUDDING DOWN STAIRS]

[GASPING]

JOEY: Steve, you were supposed to wait in the car, man.

Hey, Jennifer.

Babe.

Babe, it's just you and me now.

Babe, we can finally be together.

Come on, babe.

I know you put that restraining order on me as a joke, right?

Come on.

'Cause you know we're meant to be together, babe.

Jennifer, come on.

Was it because of your stupid boyfriend?

Because you know uh-- babe, you're single now.

You're single.

Jennifer.

Jennifer.

Come on, bring your cute ass out here.

Come on, Jen.

Jen, where you at?

Jennifer.

You're my girl.

Come on out.

Come on, Jen.

Jen, why you hiding from me babe?

Come on.

Come on, Jen.

Are you-- are you serious?

Come on.

Come out, babe.

Jen, I'm not going to hurt you.

Come on, what do you think this is?

Come on, what do you think this is? Jennifer.

Jennifer.

Jennifer, come out.

Come on, Jen.

I'm not playing this stupid game anymore with you.

Jen, where are you at?

Jennifer.

Jen, baby, come on.

Jennifer.

Jennifer.

Jennifer.

Jennifer.

Come on.

Come on out, Jennifer.

Baby.

Hey, babe.

Come on, babe.

Come on.

What-- you haven't seen me in so long, that's the face I get?

-Why are you doing this--

JOEY: Come here, come on, babe.

-No. JOEY: Come here.

-Stay back.

JOEY: Come here, look, it's the wedding castle, give me

a kiss-- Jennifer, what are you doing?

Come here.

-Get back.

JOEY: Jennifer come on, babe.

-What did you do?

JOEY: Come over here, Jennifer.

What's your problem, babe?

-What are you doing?

JOEY: I have something to show you.

-What do you want?

-Jen, Jen.

I want to show you something.

-I called the cops.

They're coming.

They're on their way.

JOEY: You shouldn't have done that.

Nothing can break us apart.

Open the fucking door.

Jen, get your-- sit fucking still, Jen.

Jen.

Why are you trying to run away from good things, Jennifer?

-I don't know you.

JOEY: Yes you do, Jen.

I'm Joey.

We talk all the time.

We have been dating for two years, Jennifer.

-No, we haven't.

-Yes we have, yes we have.

Yes.

Nod your head yes, nod your head yes.

Yes.

-No we haven't JOEY: Yes we fucking have.

Yes, we fucking have, Jennifer.

Nod your goddamn head yes.

Nod your head.

Yes we have, yes we have, see?

We have.

Yes, we have.

Yes we-- give me a kiss.

Come on, Jen, give me a little kiss.

Give me a little, come on, Jen. Give me a little kiss.

[SCREAMING]

JOEY: Jennifer.

But you know what?

You broke my heart.

You broke my fucking heart, 'cause you're a cheating whore.

-Just let me go.

JOEY: No, Jennifer, not until you watch something.

Made it just for you.

-OK, I'll watch.

JOEY: Sit down.

OK?

I made this just for you,.

Jennifer, what the fuck are you doing?

You sit fucking still, goddamn it.

JOEY: Jennifer, you thought this was over, huh?

Oh baby, we're just getting started.

Let's play some music, huh?

I brought my guitar.

This is for you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[JOEY SINGING]

JOEY: You know, you don't like it?

Fine.

We'll start writing something new right now, how about that?

How about this?

Jennifer, you're acting like a ho.

Sleeping with other guys you know.

I snuck in while you're giving him head,

And then I went and stabbed him dead.

And you were like, no.

That's good, I liked it.

Let's do another.

Jennifer, don't you even know?

We've been together since you first said hello.

Cheating, I don't take to kind to.

So now I'm going to see this whole thing through, Oh.

And you're like, no.

You'll be breathing your last breath saying no.

What do you think of that, Jennifer?