Original subtitles

Look at what's happened to me

I can't believe it myself

Suddenly I'm up on top of the world

It should have been somebody else

Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air

I never thought I could feel so free

Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer

Who could it be

Believe it or not it's just me

Just like the light of a new day

Hit me from out of the blue

Breaking me out of the spell I was in

Making all of my wishes come true

Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air

I never thought I could feel so free

Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer

Who could it be

Believe it or not it's just me

Well, I asked for Bill Maxwell.

I mean, if Johnny finds out

that I am testifying against him,

do you know what he'll do?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, how come they sent you?

Somebody here, somebody made a mistake.

I wanted Bill Maxwell.

The FBI doesn't make mistakes, Miss Wild.

Uh huh.

You're gonna be just fine.

I'll have you down in front of the grand jury

in L.A. in no time flat.

Got a plane standing by.

I never should've quit the line in Vegas.

I was doing so good.

Vegas was great for getting presents.

Does Johnny the Dancer Damanti give good presents?

Johnny?

No, no, not Johnny.

He gives pain.

Johnny's in the um, heavyweight pain business.

Get out, get out, and cross the field.

The Shrew?

You're gonna have them do The Taming of the Shrew?

See Pam, you're doing just what everyone else does.

You act like just because these kids

get into a little bit of trouble

they oughta be put in a zoo or something.

This play is one of Hinkley's better ideas.

Do you think so?

Despite all the hyperactivity, these kids are bright.

Believe me, they're anxious to learn.

All I have to do is open their eyes a little bit.

This play is perfect.

I'm gonna ask their parents to come in

and help paint the sets.

I think it'll help set up

a constructive parent proof situation.

Okay, but why Shakespeare?

Why not, I'm supposed to be teaching them, aren't I?

Now, they'd never read Shakespeare,

but if we put it on I'll be exposing them

to one of the greatest playwrights who ever lived,

and we'll have a lot of fun at the same time.

Your players await you, my Lord.

Something tells me this could be brutal.

Shakespeare must be up there somewhere

with his head in a bag.

Okay, hold it down, hold it down.

Hey, come on, turn the lights on chump, hey.

What're you doing here?

Thank you.

Hey, Mr. H.

You know how these drama club guys make these blades appear?

I can't figure out how to get the blade back in the handle.

Hey, what's going on Mr. Hinkley?

How come we have to wait after school?

Okay, okay, look now, tomorrow starts spring break.

Now, I know everyone's looking to take off,

to hit the streets,

but I want you all to help me with something

over these next two weeks.

Now, it'll only take a couple hours a day.

Oh yeah, what's that, Mr. Hinkley?

I want us all to put on

one of the greatest plays ever written.

What do ya mean, like act in a show,

do parts, stuff like that?

Exactly, Tony.

All of us working together, acting, painting the sets,

and I wanna ask your folks

to come down in the evenings and help out.

What are you kidding?

My mom ain't gonna paint sets.

She's a cocktail waitress, you know.

Well listen, ask her anyway.

Maybe she'll come down early before work.

So, what's the name of the play, Mr. H.?

Okay, okay, good question.

Okay, the play's name is Taming of the Shrew.

Eh, I seen that play, right, with Brando.

He did the movie with Liz Taylor.

Two guys break outta jail

and goes around stickin' up gas stations, right?

I don't think this is the same play, Tony, no.

Isn't it a Shakespearean play, Mr. Hinkley?

Right, one of the best.

It was written in the early 1600s.

It's about a woman named Kate, who's a shrew

who's tamed by the love of a man named Petruchio.

Shakespeare, what are you crazy?

Those guys run around in tights.

I ain't puttin' on no long johns.

I know how you feel about that, Tony,

but I talked to Mr. Knight,

and he said if we put this on,

he'll give everybody three units of credit in literature.

That's pretty good, huh?

Three units in literature

for putting on a play and having a ball.

It's not going over.

Couldn't we do like, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?

I'd love to play Maggie the cat.

Yeah right, Brando did that one, right?

That was good with Brando.

Paul Newman did the movie.

Man, what is it with you and Brando?

Hey, come on now, it's all showbiz.

How about it?

I mean, who knows?

Maybe there's a star waiting to be born here, huh.

Just give it a go.

What do you say, okay?

All right, sound good?

It's all settled.

Now, Pam here who minored in theater arts in college,

she's gonna help us with the blocking, the nuances,

the production, the lighting,

the set design, everything, okay.

Here's yours.

All right, now let's just start by reading it.

Okay, enter uh, Gremio, uh Trainio, and Baptista,

um where, uh stage uh.

Uh, enter stage right.

Hi everyone.

Hi, I gotta talk to the teacher.

Company, take five and leave the hubcaps

on the tan sedan alone.

Hey, don't worry about your hubcaps, Jack.

You know, they bring like 35 cents on the open market.

Give the kids some air.

We'll find a quiet place, it's important.

Everybody take five here.

What's going on, Bill?

Okay, for openers this is a briefing,

and we are already running thin,

because you and me

are on a seven o'clock flight to San Francisco.

What do you mean

we're on a seven o'clock flight to San Francisco?

Bill, I can't just pick up and leave.

I gotta get a babysitter for Kevin.

Done, I covered it out of the bureau.

She's on her way to your house now.

Next problem?

I just talked these kids into doing this play.

Now, I'm not going to dessert them now.

Bill, you can not go around

changing peoples lives to suit yourself.

Sure I can.

We're doing this one my way kid,

by the book with procedural and operational precision.

Well, I've got about a million things I've gotta do,

so if you guys don't need me.

Freeze Davidson.

You're in this.

I've been giving you a lot of thought.

Freeze Davidson?

From time to time we're gonna need a utility man.

You know, third string backup.

When that happens we call you.

Maybe you'll start out bring us coffee and burgers,

but uh, you'll work your way up.

Later on I'll let you handle

some easy field work, how's that?

A utility what?

That goes and gets what?

It's not as much fun when he spills over onto you, is he?

I am not gonna run your errands for you, Bill.

Counselor, we can't go blabbing this thing

all over everybody.

So far, you're the only other person

knows Ralph's got the suit.

It's gotta stay that way.

I hate this.

There is a certain moronic logic to that.

Okay, we're on a kind of a tight schedule.

I gotta girl in San Francisco willing to testify

against one of the biggest dope dealing slugs in America.

15 years I've been trying to nail Johnny Damanti.

This time I got him.

Johnny Damanti, isn't that the guy

they call Johnny the Dancer?

Yeah, the disco prince.

I got his girlfriend to testify against him,

because he dumped her.

Uh Ed was shot last night trying to bring her down, Ralph,

so from now on it's up to you and me.

There's D.A. standing by

with a specially convened grand jury

tomorrow at one o'clock right here in L.A.

We're gonna get this guy, Ralph, that's it, finally.

Sounds like a lot more

than profession interest to me, Bill.

15 years, I've been trying to roast this turkey.

Weekends other guys hit the beach,

I hit the bureau library,

look up his old testimony,

trying to make old cases come up against him again.

I need this one kids.

If we get this girl down here in one piece

we wipe out one of the biggest dope operations

in the country,

and I take Johnny the Dancer off the streets

for about 20 big ones.

Okay good, then it's settled, let's go.

Ralph.

I'm sorry, Pam.

Listen, would you take over rehearsal for me?

Set one up for tomorrow afternoon.

There's invitations folded up in a box

at the side of the proscenium

asking the kids parents to come and join us.

Oh, that sounds like

good third string utility work for old Pamela.

Come on, Ralph,

Starlet is not gonna last up there indefinitely.

He's already tried to kill her once, let's go.

Starlet Wild, the showgirl?

The one that was in People Magazine?

Ralph, she's beautiful.

Well, if you like that sort of thing, yeah, she's...

Yeah, she's beautiful.

You can't find her I.Q. in a searchlight.

Let's go, Ralph.

Where's the suit?

Cute kids you got, real cute.

Make it snug.

I wanna show my waist now that I lost 20 pounds.

Hey Mike, you think a yellow velvet bow tie

is too much for this bash?

Hey Johnnie, it's the Grammys.

Have you seen those record guys?

They're into satin shirts and gym shoes.

Yeah, hey Larry, not on the phone.

What's the matter with ya?

Sure, okay, I'll tell him.

Is this guy done yet?

Give me the yellow piping on the lapel,

the yellow tie, and the yellow and black cummerbund, okay.

We'll show those L.A. spandex screwballs

how we do it up in Frisco.

Right, that was Larry on the phone.

Said Maxwell's leaving from L.A.

He's gonna put a tail on him.

This better go down smooth.

It's gonna go down smooth.

The only thing is I hate using that car

unless there's no other way.

One cops spots it and we're liable

to lose two good men and the car.

Put it on the truck and send it south, it's insurance,

but I want this hit to go down in San Francisco county.

I have my alibi set.

I don't wanna have to roll up

in front of the L.A. courthouse and start blasting away.

I love San Francisco.

Look at this town, would ya.

Ah, it's a shame about Alcatraz,

but they still got San Quentin.

Bill, I think it's a good idea bringing Pam aboard,

but you gotta handle that with a little more tact.

She is an attorney, you know.

Yeah.

She's a little overqualified for that kind of work.

You can't just expect her

to sit on telephones and get burgers.

Yeah.

And you gotta remember

this is not like in the comic books.

I mean, I have responsibilities.

I have people who depend on me.

Right.

I can't just be expected to duck into a phone booth,

and wham bam, pass the jam.

Yeah, you're right kid.

I may want you to put on the suit and fly high cover.

I'm not flying anymore.

Don't be silly Ralph.

I just walk around with this red neon jumpsuit

under my arm pretending nothing's wrong.

Everything's wrong.

Listen to me, I'm sitting here talking to myself.

Right kid.

Is it you Bill?

Yeah sweetheart, no other, open up.

Hi, baby.

Who's that?

Ah, my backup man, Ralph Hinkley.

Meet Starlet Wild.

Hello, Miss Wild.

Pleased, I'm sure.

Let me in.

I can't believe I'm actually in this rat trap.

I mean, you should've seen my apartment in Vegas.

Oh, I had some dreamboat art.

You should've seen it.

No kidding, I wish had.

I did, I saw it last August, remember?

Gorgeous stuff, seascape paintings on the black velvet.

You would've loved it Ralph.

Well honey, we got a airplane waiting

for us over in Oakland.

Where's your bag?

Mr. Maxwell um, I won't fly.

I just won't.

Sure you will sweetheart.

That's the only way to do it.

My astro-chart says I shouldn't go on airplanes,

and that other fed, well, he said I should.

Huh, look what happened.

Uh Starlet, honey,

uh you can't ask us to drive you

all the way down to L.A., it's suicide.

Madam Orcus did this like really involved astro-chart,

and I gave her like everything

from the time like I was born till today.

Starlet, angel, that's garbage.

Mr. Hinkley, do um, do you believe in stars?

Um well, Miss Wild, I believe they're up there, yeah.

Yeah, but I mean do you believe

that they can predict your future?

Uh my, my future, well, uh gee, I don't know about that.

Okay, boys and girls, over here please.

Let's put a dimmer on the goo goo eyes,

and try to hold a thought.

We got killers on our tails in the immediate vicinity.

Oh, nobody's around here.

Ralph, Ralph!

Get out there, get 'em.

We're pinned down.

Did you see any movement?

No, nothing.

Get out there, get out there.

I don't wanna get out there.

You get out there!

Someone give me just a little bitty break.

Oh my God, this is the last time, Bill.

The very last time.

Let's get outta here.

I'm, I'm, the roof and um.

Uh, I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion.

I uh, I guess I'll just uh, use the stairs.

Please, as you were.

Costume party in 1013, you like it?

This town is turning into a real toilet.

Hurry up, hurry up!

Come on, let's get outta here, come on!

Look at this guy.

Where do they get these guys anyway?

Would you look at this guy.

That's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

Oh boy.

What was that?

Call for Mr. Henderson.

Judge Henderson?

Telephone for Mr. Henderson.

Call for Mr. Thomas Henderson.

Paging Mr. Henderson.

Call for Thomas Henderson.

Boy oh boy.

Well, when did they start using that uniform?

This afternoon.

I can't take it.

I feel like a fool.

I left my trench coat in here this morning.

I'm quitting, I'd rather go back to working elevators.

Did you get 'em?

I missed them.

How?

I crashed into the penthouse across the street.

Why did you do that?

For laughs, would you let me in please?

Thank you.

Gee Mr. Hinkley, I thought you were in the bathroom.

How come you're out here?

Ah, Bill, you explain it to her.

Uh honey, it would strain, strain you to your limits,

and I don't wanna strain our relationship, right?

I don't understand.

Good, now uh, we have to update this scenario,

'cause I think we can safely assume at this time

that they are definitely on to us.

No flying, that's my one condition.

Now, if you make me fly I'm not gonna testify.

Go on, tell him Mr. Hinkley, no flying.

No flying for me either, Bill.

You're making me sick, both of ya.

I don't know what I did wrong.

That sure must be some real terrific book.

You ain't had your nose out of it since we left Frisco.

Oh, this isn't a book, Miss Wilder.

It's a play, The Taming of the Shrew.

Hey, I saw that movie.

Liz Taylor and Richard Bourbon.

I mean, she's the shrew,

and their like teachers at this college.

No uh, that seems to be a common misconception.

You're thinking about Virginia Woolf.

Hey listen, I think Virginia Woolf

is a terrific actress too.

No, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf

is a play written by Edward Albee,

and The Taming of the Shrew

is a play written by William Shakespeare.

You mean you're reading Shakespeare?

You're actually sitting here reading Shakespeare?

All by myself.

Not even using a ruler.

Man, that is heavy.

Oh, I really think that's neat, Mr. Hinkley.

I really like a guy who's not afraid

to show that he's got a softer side.

You know, between you and me,

I think intellect is very sexy.

I was hoping you'd feel that way.

Okay, that's it.

I'm real tired.

We're gonna pull the wheels up and pitch camp.

We can't stop till Santa Barbara.

Why not?

'Cause it's on my astro-chart.

I'm supposed to never go to sleep except by the water.

That's the biggest crock I ever heard of.

We're stopping at Salinas.

There's an FBI safe house there.

Well, I won't do it.

If you make me I just won't testify.

I'm saying we stay in Salinas.

Ah Bill, I have an idea.

Good, put it in a letter to me.

I'll try to get back to you by the end of the month.

If you listened a little bit instead of just talking.

I can't stand to listen to dribble.

It makes my eyes water.

Well Bill, Miss Wild just said if we don't do it her way,

she won't testify.

Boy, I hate the way this is coming out.

Okay, okay, what's your spark of genius?

Pam's boss has a house in Santa Barbara.

Maybe she can borrow it.

If she hustles she can be up there by one a.m.

She opens it and we stay there.

Does it have cover on three sides?

Are the windows draped?

Is there a garage to hide the car or doesn't anybody care?

I don't know Bill, but it's by the water.

Sounds great to me.

Okay, I can't take anymore of this.

Uh, call Pam, okay,

and I'm sure she's gonna love it.

I hate it.

Look honey, just do it, okay.

We're kinda improvising because Starlet won't fly,

so we're driving down.

We're really bushed.

Okay, okay, I'll meet you there in about two hours.

All right, how was the rest of play practice?

Oh, it was horrible.

Rhonda wants to play Kate like Faye Dunaway,

and Tony's going for a Brandoesque Petruchio.

It's not working.

Come on, kid.

We gotta keep moving.

Uh, that was uh.

I heard, I heard.

Just tell him it's old third string Pam to the rescue.

All right, adios.

She fell in with a hard nose crowd

They drink too much and they talk too loud

They speak their minds with a .44

But she ain't gonna take no more, no

She's running away from the life she led

There's a contract out on her head

With a lot of luck and a little song

She's gonna put 'em where they all belong

Hang on sister

Things are gonna be just fine

Oh, ride on sister

Ride to the end of the line

I was getting worried.

Dynamite Davidson.

Two sides are covered and the beach is wide open.

You really had me worried, sensational.

Hello Pam, gee I'm sorry for all the trouble.

Uh, oh, Miss Starlet Wild,

I'd like you to meet Miss Pam Davidson.

Pleased, I'm sure.

Nice to meet you.

You uh, you ever a dancer hon?

You got a real cute shape.

Uh no, not professionally.

Well, if you're interested, I know this guy in Reno.

He'll give a girl a break.

Of course, you gotta work topless, but the pay is okay.

Thank you, Miss Wild, but uh, I'm an attorney.

A lawyer, mouthpiece.

Oh.

Davidson, no coffee, no Cokes, no burgers.

There's nothing here.

What happened?

Ralph, I'd like to talk to you, please.

They're holed up in Santa Barbara,

about a mile from here.

Listen Bob, I want this ended.

I know, I know.

I left her at the beach house off the road.

It's in the bag.

I don't want anymore calls.

I wanna read about it in the paper, that's it.

Morning.

What've you got there?

What I got here is a half a box of stale biscuits

that would float in a tub of spit forever.

See, a good backup man plans in advance,

because he knows that speed and efficiently

depend on keeping the field operatives sharp and steady.

An army moves on its stomach, right Bill?

You did good on the house,

but you run a real sloppy feed kitchen, kiddo.

Bill, these are dog biscuits.

I know, what do you think I'm crying about?

Where's Ralph?

He's in the bathroom

putting his red jammies on under his clothes.

She's coming on to him, you notice?

I noticed.

Well, you've got my permission anytime, wacky smacky.

Anytime what?

If she gets outta line with our boy.

Thump, be my guest.

You know, sometimes it's hard to believe

you live in this century, Bill.

Funny, that was my idea about you, Davidson.

I wanna be outta her by 10.

That'll put us in L.A. just after 12.

Grand jury hears this thing at one,

and Johnny the Dancer

gets the proverbial concrete block walls by five.

Anybody in there?

Yoo hoo, come on.

Is anybody in there?

It's me, Miss Wild.

Uh, well how long are you gonna hog the johnny?

Oh come on honey, I don't mind sharesies.

I'll be out in a minute.

I'm just putting on my robe.

We don't say good morning or nothing?

Uh, good morning.

Um look, Miss Wild, would you please not go outside,

and stay away from the windows.

We have to be very cautious.

You know, I never been attracted to a fed before.

It's, you know, kinda weird.

Well, I'm not exactly a fed, see.

Ralph, are you and that um, you know, that lawyer.

Are you guys going together?

Uh, yeah.

Too bad.

Yeah, yeah.

Bill, Bill, they're out there, two guys with a rifle.

Where?

Well, I didn't actually see them.

Kind of tuned in on them with the suit.

Okay, here's the scenario.

Pam, you get Miss Wild in the bathroom on the floor.

That sounds like fun.

Maybe that should be Ralph's job.

Pam, give me a break.

I haven't laid a glove on her.

Hello boys and girls, over here please.

Now Pam, if you hear me yell,

you get her to the car,

and get outta here as fast as you can,

and if you don't you stay put.

You got it?

What're you gonna do?

I'm gone out the front, John Wayne style.

Gonna draw their fire, flush 'em out,

and Ralph's gonna fly up and drop a house on 'em, aren't ya?

I already told ya, I'm spooked with flying.

I'm not even gonna take a commercial flight anymore.

Do we have time for this?

Come on, you're out the back window.

Drop a house on 'em.

Well, here goes nothing again.

I think you got him.

Hello, got this one.

Get the other, up pal.

Hey!

Pull over!

Get out.

Great work kid, terrific.

Only, you gotta get outta here fast.

I called the cops.

They're on the way.

Well, give me the keys to the car.

I can't give ya the car.

This is my collar, federal, remember.

I gotta take these guys in myself,

and uh, I can't give ya the van, come on,

because it's part of the arrest.

Stand up.

Well Bill, I can't walk back there.

You don't seem to understand.

Every time I get caught in public wearing this thing

I end up in the fast lane to the nuthouse.

Well kid, I'll tell ya,

if it was me I'd just take off, you know.

Give the suit some air,

because these uh, these hick cops

ain't really gonna understand, are they?

You know, I don't like the way you're handling things.

You're about that far from the end of your rope with me.

Ralph please, you gotta get outta here.

You're gonna make it.

Now, all you do is you keep your head up,

you point your toes.

You're gonna learn this, now, I'm telling ya, I promise.

Hey, I'm going it!

Oh, no!

Now em, if you boys are really smart, you'll forget that,

because see, I already have.

Of course, it's uh, up to you.

These guys, they're in the Santa Barbara nuthouse.

I talked to one of these topflight mechanics

you picked for me.

He says some super guy broke up the hit.

Some super guy, can you dig that?

I think both these guys slipped their tracks.

I want the both of them finished off.

They're unstable.

I'm going to L.A.

I'm gonna supervise this myself,

and you're going with me.

Right Johnny.

The hit car's back in L.A.

I had it shipped last night by truck.

It's in a garage near Mama Rose's Restaurant.

I hired two new guys, Johnny, L.A. talent.

It's gonna happen.

Well, I wonder if he's gonna get his gold stars this time.

Wait here, Starlet.

Okay, I got it from here, good job.

You're good troops angel.

Thanks Bill, I'm really gonna treasure that.

On the other hand,

I'm gonna be working on your attitude, Davidson,

'cause it's stinks.

Ralph, you all right?

Oh yeah, I'm fine.

The ocean is ice cold, that's all.

Let me tell ya something, Bill, I'm through flying.

I'm handing in my little aviators badge.

I'll stick with speed running,

the holographic vision stuff that doesn't make me crazy.

Boy, I really hate a quitter.

You fly great, it's just your landings,

um need a little work.

So, we'll get out one Saturday.

We'll take a lunch maybe,

uh do a few touch and goes, work out the kinks.

I'll help ya.

Oh yeah, what're you gonna do?

Run around underneath me stringing nets,

so I don't get hurt?

No, I'm not gonna string nets.

I'm gonna try to find out why you can't fly straight.

Ralph, if you don't fly, we're outta business.

Here's comes Miss Starlet.

We can ask her.

She's been higher than a kite most of her life.

Maybe in a wind tunnel or something.

Figure out why you're so unsteady.

My number's in here in case you need a friend.

He's got my number Miss Wild, he'll be fine.

Don't get your britches in an uproar, honey.

Now, why didn't I think to say that?

You know, we lack continuity?

Tactically, the two of you are a mess,

and I'm gonna address myself to that

first thing in the morning.

Come on, the DA's waiting inside, along with the big guys.

I bet she signed this with a smiling face.

Oh Pam, would you relax.

I'm not gonna take up with a gangsters girlfriend.

She doesn't fit into my lifestyle.

Can we get outta here, Ralph?

Bill!

Starlet?

Oh, those guys aren't foolin'.

Bill, you all right?

Yeah, it's just a scratch.

Oh, begging your pardon,

but that went right through your leg.

Let me get a tourniquet on that.

Well, I'll be darn, wow.

Miss Wild, if you're all right,

the grand jury is inside waiting for you.

Oh, those guys weren't foolin'.

Sweetheart, say hello to assistant DA, Arnold Turner.

Get her inside, Arnold.

Bill, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay, it's just a through hole.

Get her indoors.

Okay.

Give 'em hell baby.

I'll be walking right beside you all the way.

Well, in spirit.

Mission, successful.

If this is a success,

I'd hate to see one of your failures.

You're losing a lot of blood, Bill.

We better get you to a doctor.

Ain't nothing compared to the way Johnny the Dancer's

gonna bleed when she gets through talking.

I'm invoking my constitutional rights

to the 5th Amendment.

I refuse to answer any questions

on the grounds that they may tend to incriminate me.

In a couple of minutes the smiling face of Arnold Turner

is gonna come up those stairs,

and give me the beautiful blow by blow and there he is.

Doesn't look real happy, Bill.

Ah, they teach them that look at DA school.

Well Arnold, give me the good news.

I wanna hear the juicy stuff.

She took the 5th, we got nothing.

Come on.

I put in a call to your superior.

You said you had a witness.

The taxpayers paid a fortune to convene this grand jury,

and what do I get?

The 5th Amendment.

It's very sloppy work, very sloppy job.

Arnold, wait a minute.

I didn't call her.

She called me.

Said she wanted to nail him.

What's going on here?

I think maybe I know.

What?

Sit down Bill,

'cause this is one scenario you're not gonna like.

Since last night, little by little, you've been,

you've been cornering the market on adhesive tape.

You look like that last soldier off the beach of Dunkirk.

Yeah, so what?

They were trying to kill her.

We took a little gas stopping them, that's all.

Or they were trying to kill you, Bill.

15 years of pulling on Johnny Damanti's chain.

15 years of weekends in the library.

Maybe you finally got to The Dancer's gag reflex.

What if he had Starlet call you?

All that stuff about Mrs. Orcus and her astro-charts.

We can't stop till we get to Santa Barbara.

We can't fly.

She was leading you through the gauntlet,

and those killers were waiting for us to pass.

Bill, she gets down here and she takes the 5th.

Ah no, um, no.

No, uh uh.

Hello, ain't that something?

Aren't you angry?

You're not?

Nah kid, I'm a pro, it's business.

Well, I'm angry!

What've you got to be angry about?

What am I angry about, huh?

Is that the question, Bill?

What am I angry about?

Well, I'll tell ya what I'm angry about.

I'm angry, one,

because obviously you don't know what you're doing.

Wait a minute.

I'm angry because I'm flying into windows and walls.

Everybody out of the pool, here comes Ralph!

Lower your voice, please.

I mean, everything, everything, Bill.

We have nothing.

All of this was for nothing.

Bull, you're plugged,

because the cupcake turned out to be a wrong number,

and she was puttin' you on too.

Oh, that is so heavy man.

You're so sexy.

And I'm angry,

because maybe I care about what happens to you.

I don't like to see you dressed up

like Lon Chaney in The Mummy's Tomb,

and I'm frustrated,

because I don't know how to use this super suit.

What about me?

15 years bonehead work done the drain.

Johnny winds up going to the Grammy's,

snorting coke, being pretty.

I wind up with counting my sutures.

A partnership is more

than just you calling the shots Bill.

A partnership assumes that the other partner

has something to say about the way it goes.

I don't have too much sympathy

for the concept of partners, Ralph.

Experience tells us in the field

it doesn't work out too well.

No kidding.

You're sitting there looking like an add

for an insurance company.

Bill, what we're doing is not working,

or haven't you noticed?

I'm real tired kid.

I had a bad day.

You're not making it better.

I had a bad day.

What about my day, bucko?

My day ranks right down there with my divorce.

Now, we got some problems here, Bill.

We gotta solve them.

I can't stand this yammering anymore.

I gotta get some cigars.

Give me five minutes.

Yeah right, good idea.

A cigar oughta fix everything.

I tried Johnny, I really did.

I'm sorry, it just didn't work out.

The only thing that's worked out in the last 24 hours

is this tuxedo,

and if I didn't look so good in this thing,

I'd smack you right now.

Johnny here?

Oh yeah.

Hey, hey, they gang's all here.

What the heck do we care

What the heck do we care

Hey, hey, the gang's all here

What the heck do we care now

Ouch, the hand hurts worse than the foot.

You gotta be more careful when you eat this stuff, John.

You got some sauce in your lap.

Freeze, Mike.

Understand you're gone to the Grammy's.

A little bird told me.

Say hello for me to all the pretty people.

Give me your gun, Mike.

You can't, you can't Johnny, it's crazy.

You gonna hire me a couple more pencil necks?

No, nothing doing.

I'm through with this guy.

He's dead, get the car.

Did you get your cigars?

Huh, no, they were out.

Do you wanna drive?

Leg's starting to smart.

No kidding, wonder of wonders.

Look Bill, it's really just a matter

of trying sorting out our problems.

Now, one of my problems

is that you never tell me what you're up to.

Sure I do.

No you don't.

I mean, you give me this need to know

government security Vaseline job.

You act like because you carry around

$20.00 worth of government tin

with your picture on an I.D. card,

you get to be boss.

Well, today's newsflash is partner, I'm not in the FBI.

I can do whatever I want.

I'm as free as a bird.

Even though I can't fly like one.

Sure kid.

I mean I think if we just talk and we communicate

our problems will just sort of disappear.

I got ya kid.

I think you're talking good sense.

Listen, uh, where you headed?

School.

Uh huh, okay good, that'll work, that's good.

You see, like right now for instance.

I mean, you probably haven't even heard a word I said.

For all I know,

we could be heading into the biggest shootout

in the last 20 years.

Yep, right, gotcha.

I'll be working on that kid.

Ow, you still got the uh, the suit on under there?

Yep, it's still damp right down to my little red booties.

Okay, perfect, absolutely perfect.

No way not.

I'm late.

Late for what?

I was supposed to be here at 4:30.

Pam set it up.

What do you mean everyone?

The joint's empty, schools out, there's nobody here, right?

Oh no no, it's not empty, look.

Hey Mr H., we've been waiting for ya.

Hey, Mr. H. Is here.

All right.

What are you trying to do to me?

Who are these people?

See now Bill, that's what I've been talking about.

I've been telling ya all day, Bill.

These are the parents that are helping us put on the show.

Show.

Well, here goes nothing.

Most of these parents

need to be introduced to their kids

before we get started.

That bad, huh?

Ah, partner, we, we got a leading problem here.

Ah, ladies and gentlemen,

ah, may I have your attention please?

Ah, listen up.

We got a condition red here.

I want everybody in the place down on the floor,

between the chairs, between the seats, please!

Pam, call the cops!

What've you done to me, Bill?

Find someplace to change.

This is a school Bill, this is where I teach.

This really stinks.

Ralph, Ralph, where are you?

Coming!

Ralph!

Coming!

What's was that?

Ralph, do something!

Huh, son of a gun.

Oh boy, the heat's on the way, Bill.

I gotta get outta here.

Yeah.

How do we get 'em out?

Ah Johnnie, you wanna come out nice,

or you wanna be convinced, a little shake and bake?

You're nothing, Maxwell.

You're a dead man.

Okay Ralph, we got the chicken in the bag, shake 'em up.

Johnny, that's the shake.

Now what, you want the bake?

Answer up now.

Maxwell, you rat fed.

Guys just never learn.

Okay, okay, I had enough.

Okay Johnny, come to papa.

Ground floor, Ralph.

You done terrific kid, sensational.

I gotta hand it to you.

Get up here.

Ah, just an idle question, Bill.

How did this car, these guys get here?

Well, when I went for the cigars I had a little accident.

Dumped a plate of spaghetti in Johnny's lap.

Oh I see, and then you neglected

to tell me about it, right?

Well, you were ranting and raving kid.

I uh, didn't wanna add to your problems.

Boy, you know, you and I got a long way to go.

We got a long way to go.

Terrific, I wish you'd start now.

Come on, fly outta here, Ralph.

I'll bring your duds.

Ah, get going, they're coming around the building.

You're him.

They weren't crazy.

That's the super guy.

Not really, John.

Now, I'm gonna give you

the same friendly advice I gave your hit guys,

but they didn't listen,

so they wound up in the rubber room in the funny jackets.

You didn't see this.

It never happened.

I have no problem with that.

Damn.

Hey, come here everybody, come here, come here.

I wanna talk to you.

Okay, I want you guys to go out there,

and knock them dead, all right.

I mean, go out there and have a really good time.

Just have a lot of fun, okay.

Do you have butterflies?

I don't have no butterflies.

Is that a question you ask me, come on.

You got 'em, Tony, admit it.

The whole school is out there.

I told ya, I don't get butterflies, all right.

You keep this up,

they're gonna have to carry you on the stage,

and lean you against the wall, you know.

Okay, okay, now listen.

Remember, if you're up on your lines

I'll be in the wings with some line prompting,

so just kind of move over and I'll feed it to you.

All right gang, it's showtime.

The director always sits in the audience opening night,

so I'm gonna be out there watching.

Break a leg.

I ain't breakin' nothing.

Okay, Oscar, let's go.

Hey, I'm excited.

Well hey, thanks Pam for helping me out.

It was great.

Yeah.

Maxwell's out there.

I'm surprised he came the way he feels about these kids.

Yeah, I know, I guess he knows how hard we worked.

Or maybe it's his way of saying he likes us.

Well, with Bill you never can tell.

I'm proud of you.

You didn't do bad yourself.

Thanks.

Let's go.

Verona, for a while I think I'll take my leave

to see some of my friends in Padua,

but of all my best and beloved friends and approved,

Hortense and I think this is his house.

Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.

Thanks for coming, Bill.

I appreciate the support.

Ah, forget support.

I don't support nothing.

Come on, I love Shakespeare that's all, shh.

Pena smacks it into right field

for a double.

Here comes Garvey.

Here comes Cey.

Dodgers score three to two in the seventh

with one out and Lopes on second.

The Phillies come out swinging

in the top of the sixth with five.