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>> Talk Show Host: Ten points lower for the word, first.

What was wrong with it?

>> Rick: Well I thought the first one was too rough.

But compared to the second one, which was a lot easier-going-

>> Rick's aunt: From Topeka, Maryland,

Morris Total news nine.

>> Rick: Sir, what is the toga to you?

>> Student: Well, the toga is definitely a phallic symbol

representing the sexual freedom at the time.

>> Rick: Good evening I'm Rick Kirkham.

>> Rick: Good morning I'm Rick Kirkham.

>> Rick: Reporting from North Texas, Rick Kirkham NBC News.

>> Rick: Mr. Brokaw, Rick Kirkham

with the affiliate in Wichita Falls.

>> Tom Brokaw: Hi, how are you?

>> Reporter: Who are you with?

>> Rick: Rick Kirkham, with TV 3 in Wichita Falls Texas.

>> Reporter: uh huh, that's right.

>> Rick: Is it hard to handle the stardom

that the network stars are getting in comparison

with the political stars here?

>> Rick: Things have quieted down here on the strip only

in the last hour or so

>> Rick: Walker went back and forth

to the house continually screaming several times

for the police to shoot him

>> Rick: Going along on a raid requires a lengthy debriefing

as well as a bullet-proof vest.

>> Police: Freeze!

Hands up! Don't move!

>> Rick: This raid is part of a major crackdown

on crack, or rock cocaine.

>> Rick: As long as drug dealers supply this,

customers will continue to supply this.

>> Reporter: Rick Kirkham is in Oakland at the site

of the rescue attempts.

>> Rick: Bill I'm standing about 60 yards away now

from the worst scene of destruction here

in here the Oakland area.

>> Rick: This was the scene just seven hours after the delivery

of the verdict in the Rodney King case.

>> Rick: According to Bert Wilkoff,

it was his girlfriend Stephanie Pacheevus

and his own son Michael who took this weapon

to the apartment that night.

>> Sandra: Good morning Rick.

>> Rick: Good morning Sandra and good morning Australia.

>> Rick: Why is it that you have done so many good things?

>> Rick: What basically is happening down here Chuck?

>> George Bush Sr: This guy is a real point of light

and he can do far more than government can do.

>> Rick: Have a great weekend.

>> Rick: It's February 28, 1990

>> Rick: September 17, 1991

>> Rick: It's the 29th of June 1992

>> Rick: Here I am, in Jamaica.

>> Rick: Christ Church, New Zealand.

>> Rick: It was London then back to New York then

to Vegas, LA onto New Zealand

>> Rick: I've interviewed Dick Clark, Joe Walsh, Johanna Lulu

for the weekend back to California for the weekend

>> Rick: I've uh spent the day with the playmate of the year

out on lake mead jet skiing.

And here I am, back in Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

>> Rick: There's been a lot of bad things as well.

A lot of problems that I've had, personal problems,

>> Rick: A minor cocaine problem has has snuck up again,

and it has to be nipped in the bud.

Screwing up every relationship that comes along,

not wanting to work now that I've hit the peak of success

and then life was going down and I've been in- into,

into that pattern now for over a year.

>> Rick: This video may prove may prove very beneficial

>> Rick: It's been a good year.

Season's over with now, uh, I got the senior reporter title,

Had some really good shows this year.

I thought that'd I travel

around Europe I brought a backpack, and uh, that's it.

Passport and money.

So I'm gonna take some pictures im gonna check out all of Europe

by train and check out Amsterdam.

>> Rick: Hey, hey what can I say Brussels, Belgium.

>> Rick: Dusseldorf, Germany

>> Rick: We're in Paris now.

We're with the girls, they're gonna take me

out get me in trouble.

>> Rick: These people are crazy here in Spain.

>> Rick: Good afternoon.

Welcome to my humble abode here on the ocean.

Let me just put it this way, I if I did die I went

out the way I wanted to go.

In a blaze of glory.

>> Rick: ready for a cigarette yeah.

Ok, it's the second day of November 1992.

I'm working here in Christchurch, New Zealand and a couple

of days ago I found out that my girlfriend back

in the states, Tami, is pregnant.

Quite a shock and uh I guess it's gonna result

in quite a change in my life, um, I fully intend to marry her

and I love her a lot and I'll love our child.

And I can only say that to my unborn child whenever you watch

this someday, you may not have been planned

but you'll be welcomed into the world and ill be so glad

that uh everything worked out the way it did.

>> Rick: I'm in love with a Texas girl,

she means all the world.

To me.

When she walks into the room,

I can smell her sweet perfume

Her eyes they look at me.

I see that she loves me.

>> Rick: You're nervous.

look at that.

>> Family:

>> Rick: That's, that's 34 years of waiting.

Tami Carrell will you marry me?

>> Tami: Yes

>> Rick: well, here it is Christmas morning

and look what Tami is doing.

>> Tami: I'm gonna kill you

>> Rick: What ya doin' honey?

>> Tami: Get that thing off me.

>> Rick: Hey be nice, it's Christmas day.

>> Tami: I don't care, I look terrible.

>> Rick: I think it's a great Christmas

if Tami would just smile and have a good time.

>> Rick: You've been crying?

>> Tami: I'm gonna slap the shit out of you.

>> Rick: You have.

>> Tami: I know I've been crying.

We've already talked about it so don't try

to get it on videotape.

>> Rick: Why don't you tell me

about the burdens you dealing with?

>> Tami: Repeat.

Rewind. Zzz.

Instant replay of what just happened.

>> Rick: No.

Just tell me what you're feeling burdened about?

>> Tami: Life.

>> Rick:

It's just after Christmas hun.

New years is this weekend.

You're gonna get married in about 3 and a half weeks.

What's the problem?

You should be excited.

>> Tami: I wanna throw up

>> Rick: Why aren't you excited? Huh?

>> Tami: 'Cause I wanna run away.

>> Rick: Why are you putting me on camera?

>> Tami: You what?

>> Rick: I what what?

>> Tami: What'd you say about the wedding band?

>> Rick:

I'm making my list

>> Tami: What'd you say about the wedding band?

>> Rick: I'm making my list here of everything-

>> Tami: And checking it twice?

>> Rick: -that has to be done

>> Tami: You what?

>> Rick: And I-

>> Tami: If you're not wearing your wedding band we're not

getting married.

>> Rick: I just asked if I could put the wedding band

on the list?

>> Tami: Are you wearing a wedding band?

>> Rick: We could just cut right to-

I don't wanna wear a wearing wedding band.

I don't like rings.

>> Tami: Then, Then we're not getting married.

>> Rick: C'mon hun.

>> Tami: Nope. >> Rick: Tami.

>> Family member: You nervous yet?

>> Rick: I'm getting a little.

Just a little.

>> Crowd: Cheers

>> Old Relative: You said I could go

on the honeymoon with ya.

>> Tami: Hmm, what?

>> Rick: Are you getting a little nervous

to find out what it is?

>> Tami: Yeah. Are you?

>> Rick: What do you want it to be?

>> Tami: I don't care

>> Rick: I'm anxious to know what it is too.

>> Doctor: It looks like a boy.

>> Rick: Are you sure? >> Tami:

>> Doctor: It's what it looks like.

>> Rick: Cuz it really- I mean can you really?

>> Doctor: Sure looks like it.

>> Tami: It is. I think so.

>> Rick: How- How often can you be wrong?

>> Now See look, see those two little things right there?

They look like testicles to me.

>> Rick: Yes!

A Ricky Junior.

Oh god.

>> Rick: This is the Inside Edition big island bureau.

Where we don't do fuck.

This is the incriminating evidence

at the Inside Edition bureau on the big island.

Tank makers.

Tank makers pump out and they make big buck story

>> Reporter: So after basically ripping off the fucking Hawaiian

bats for all their weed down here, have a look at this.

A pack of Lo-lo. We told them a lot of lies.

We told them we'd tell their story but that's bullshit.

We're not gonna tell their story we're just doing a story

about a bunch of fucking lunatic bats.

We have dope.

>> Rick: C'mon Tookie can we be wild when we take off?

>> Rick: Well it's, uh, May 9, 1993 and, phew,

I'm checked in as an in-patient in the, uh,

chemical dependency unit

at Hoag Memorial Hospital here in Newport Beach.

And it's something I guess that I needed to do

for the last ten years, maybe fifteen years,

and as much as I didn't want to, I'm glad that it's all come

down the way that it has.

The boss has intervened with me about ten days ago.

I've been in the program a week

and it was probably the greatest thing anyone ever did for me.

They set everything up and

standing behind me a hundred percent so I can get rid

of this cocaine problem.

Never thought I'd end up in a chemical dependency

unit though.

It uh....Real blow to the ego at first.

But then when you understand it's a disease

and that something you have to treat, y'know,

with a recovery program you begin to feel a lot better.

So anyway, things are gonna be great this summer.

My first child will be here in couple of months and Tami

and I will have uh beginning a perfect life

that we always wanted.

So a couple more weeks of CDU and I'm going home.

>> Tami:

>> Rick: He's coming honey, look!

>> Doctor: All right!

>> Rick: What you call real first home movies, huh?

My grandma just became a great grandma.

And my mom a grandma for the first time.

>> Tami: And you a daddy.

>> Relative: Yeah.

>> Rick: June 28, 1993.

Little Ricky is here.

Nothing really seems all that important anymore except, uh,

making sure that that Tami and Ricky are happy and healthy.

I laid in bed all night last night watching her get

up with him and I kept thinking,

God don't let anything happen to him.

Don't let him get sick,

don't let him stop breathing or anything.

This is what it's all about.

We've started our family and I've waited a long time

for it, I'm glad it's here.

>> Rick: Hey, are you trying to break into this house?

>> Tami: Yeah.

>> Rick: M'kay.

As you come in, you have a nice view here.

immediately off to the left we have the dining room.

Here's the formal living room.

And the study of course,

with the French window pane doors, notice that.

That was my option.

And a key lock to keep the kids out.

It's also designed to keep Tami out.

>> Tami: Get this on tape.

Uh, never mind.

I thought he was gonna roll over.

>> Rick: this could be a big event here on live television.

As he tries to roll over only for the second time.

>> Tami: Push on over.

There you go.

>> Rick: Are you having fun now?

Are you daddy's goony, huh?

Are you daddy's gooby?

Santa's going off to play with the elf.

>> Tami and Rick:

>> Rick: This has gotta be the worst part of the last nine-

ten months, is that Tami's gotta take me to the airport

so I can fly back to new york and go back to work.

For almost ten months now, we've been doing this, where I fly

for a couple days every two weeks.

I know it tears her up, and it's really tough on me.

And god only knows about him, it's gotta be hard on him too.

But, if we can just hang in there I know

that things can work out.

It makes it really difficult.

>> Rick: We've been waiting a long time for this.

Here it is. Race time.

>> Sports announcers: So at the line.

It's Kirkham.

Now let's go down and meet our winner,

Rick Kirkham in Victory Circle.

>> Rick: I don't think I've ever been on top

of the world quite like this before.

You can't describe this feeling.

>> Friend: No you can't.

>> Rick: There's no way to describe this feeling.

>> Friend: Nope.

>> Rick: I just can't imagine

that the inside adventure series has done so well.

This career is so important to me because of coming

from no where, y'know just a kid

from Oklahoma I wanna be somebody,

I wanna be something big that people talk about that people

respect and admire.

This is going to be a big year in my career, um,

my only hope is that I can keep my family tight and together

and not lose Tami and not lose the opportunity to be

with Ricky growing up.

I want that family and uh and I feel like the best way

to provide them with everything they wanted in life is

to keep this career going as it is.

That's about where I'm standing right now, hanging in there.

>> Rick: Happy fathers day to me.

Happy fathers day to me.

And there's my little guy who made it all possible.

Hey little man, what you doing out of your robe?

>> Tami: Can you see him?

>> Rick: No.

>> Tami: Come here daddy.

>> Rick: How come you not wearing your robe?

That's weird.

Where ya going?

>> Tami: Oh my god!

>> Tami: That's funny.

>> Rick: Last week, Tami told me she was pregnant

which is pretty exciting.

it has really opened my eyes to the fact that I have

to really stay ambitious and keep things going and I need

to change and, it's like, ready get out of the

business if I can't get something bigger

and better going.

I need to get healthy, I need to exercise, uh,

I need to stay away from the vices of all kinds.

I need to find

that, that that light that charges me

and helps me really look at what's going on

and what's ahead of me.

>> Tami: My husband's gone.

He wanted on videotape of him leaving and all that.

But what he doesn't ever videotape is momma getting up,

making coffee, making bottles, changing diapers,

ironing shirts, getting his suits together,

picking out ties.

Anyway, I love my husband and now hes off

to earn his living now he's gonna have a very very busy busy

day cause he's working hard and he's trying to do real good

for them and for the family.

>> Rick: I'm sure someday I'll appreciate the fact that I sat

down and videotaped this.

Although it's very uncomfortable doing so.

Today is my 37th birthday and here I am sitting here,

fiending, to get these things out and get 'em

into a makeshift little pipe so that I can get a buzz.

And that's how horrible the addiction is,

and yet it takes over your mind.

I mean the whole time back in the cab ride from 93rd

and Amsterdam where I've been countless times.

All I'm doing is trying to hold down my stomach

because it's anticipation of what's to come

and, y'know, keep the shakes from setting in.

It's like it's completely like a second life, it really is.

It's like a second life and

yet you can't really believe it's happening but it is.

It's just an addiction.

And It's an overwhelmingly strong drug,

which makes for an overwhelmingly,

overwhelmingly strong addiction.

>> Rick: That's it right there.

It's a makeshift pipe.

Crack cocaine.

See the packets?

Crack itself.

It's definitely not an easy thing to do.

I can only hope that I'll learn from it down the road.

I know I learned from some other things,

but this addiction is gonna kill

and me the terrible thing is you don't think about your family,

your friends, your career.

All you think about is doing this shit.

>> Rick: Um it's kind of a-

this is really weird talking to a camera doing this.

It's kind of a a euphoric almost hard to speak

because of the rush type high.

Um, I'd say within a matter of seconds, it um, for me,

it becomes a almost, um, very sexual in a way.

not in a good way by any means.

Very raw, very animalistic, very lustful.

I hope I'm being honest.

Um, a

very primeval sort of way.

And at last in my experience with this rotten drug.

How can something be so euphoric and so terrible.

You do it even though you know it can kill you.

Why? I don't understand why.

>> Rick: Nine thirty.

Nine o clock in the morning.

I can't move my body.

I can't even talk.

I feel depressed as shit.

This is the result.

This is what you get.

I guess I'm glad that I taped it.

It's daytime.

I'm supposed to be at work.

I'm gonna try to finagle my way out now.

>> Rick: The next day is always a nightmare

because usually I have to go to work.

Today there was just no way.

That's five times this week I've done that.

It's gotta stop.

I argued with the wife on the phone.

She's disappointed in me 'cause she knows.

I know my boss John knows.

And I don't get anything done.

Nothing.

>> Rick: Well...

twenty-four hours later this is the result.

Twenty fours hours later, um,

it's debilitating. It's totally debilitating.

You can't focus on anything other than

total recuperation, total isolation,

uh, fighting off the depression.

Debilitating. It's totally debilitating.

>> Rick: So this is pretty fucking typical.

It's now forty-eight hours later.

Yes, I'm fucked up.

Couple of drinks at the bar is all it takes.

>> Tami: Are you waiting on daddy to come in?

>> Baby: Yeah.

>> Tami: Is daddy's airplane gonna come in?

>> Baby: Yeah.

>> Tami: Did you miss daddy?

>> Baby: I have cars.

>> Rick: Yeah.

Look in here.

>> Friend: Today's Ricky's birthday.

He's upstairs, ok.

There's the old man right there.

You know why they're up here?

Because they're afraid of Barney.

That's why.

Are you glad you spent the money and brought Barney

out here for your son?

>> Rick: Oh yeah absolutely.

>> Friend: Look!

Yes, He's a courageous man just like his dad.

A wimp. Hiding from a purple dinosaur.

So what do you think about Barney and your s-

>> Rick: Barney's down there and my son is hiding.

>> Rick: There he goes.

Say bye Barney.

Say bye Barney.

>> Rick Jr.: Bye Barney.

>> Rick: All right.

There goes Barney!

>> TV Show Host: My first guest has done it all.

He's been set on fire, wrestled a nine-foot alligator,

and even boxed with me.

Please welcome my good friend and senior correspondent

for Inside Edition, Rick Kirkham.

Take a look at this.

>> Narrator: They call themselves adrenaline junkies.

People who live life on the edge.

Bungee cord jumping, swimming with sharks, skydiving.

Some people are comfortable just getting

up in the morning and going to work.

But not these people.

They thrive on finding the next thrill.

>> TV Show Host: Yikes, set on fire, shot out of a cannon,

so I'd have to say you're scariest moment was -

boxing with me?

>> Rick: Uh, y'know-

>> TV Show Host: Oh oh oh oh oh oh!

>> Rick: What?

>> Tami: We have to go to the hospital.

>> Rick: Are you serious?

>> Tami: She said they're gonna put me on a monitor

so they can monitor the contractions.

>> Tami: Get me to the damn hospital and quit worrying

about that damn camera.

>> Tami: Daddy's gonna crash before we make it

to the hospital.

>> Rick: Oh we're not gonna crash.

You said you wanted every bit of it on tape.

>> Tami: I'm in labor and I have to hold the camera

so daddy can drive so he can get it on videotape.

>> Rick: I'm sorry but I'm a video junkie

I videotaped everything.

My god I videotaped your twat when Ricky was coming

into the world, so you just better-

>> Tami: Our kids are gonna be watching this

so watch what you say.

>> Rick: Well, I'll beep out that word

but I videotaped Ricky coming into the world.

I'm gonna damn well videotape Dusty.

It'll be just as special.

>> Tami:

>> Rick: It's all right

>> Tami: Oh my god.

>> Rick: It's all right honey, it's all right.

>> Tami:

>> Rick: There's Dusty.

There's little Dusty honey.

>> Doctor: Do you wanna cut this?

Wanna cut the cord?

>> Rick: Yeah, I'm going to on this one.

>> Ok mom, aim the camera.

>> Rick: Where at? Right in between?

>> Nurse: Yeah, that'll do it.

Alright Dusty hang in there baby.

This is just like a a movie.

What was that comedy we saw with, uh,

Robin Williams filming.

Rick: You're awesome honey.

>> Rick: Little Dusty.

After all that trouble he's here.

This is my second boy, the Kirkham boys.

Tear up Dallas, alright.

You did awesome.

I love you.

>> Rick: You wanna stand by the stork?

>> Rick Jr.: Yeah.

>> Rick: ooh.

Is that for your baby brother Dusty?

>> Rick: Time sure goes by fast.

I mean it seems just like yesterday I was single

in California, met Tami,

got married, had Ricky, moved to New York, moved back to LA.

Had Dusty.

It's all in a flash.

My grandmother was right.

Life goes by way to fast not to enjoy it.

Because while the days may seem long, over a period

of time it's just a flash.

>> Rick: Within just a couple hours

of the storm here in downtown.

Within just a couple of hours

of Hurricane Opal ravaging itself through-ravaging.

Three, two, one, wi- Fuck

I got cars everywhere.

Within just a couple of hours after Hurricane Opal came

through downtown Pensacola Florida all was quiet.

In fact there's really relatively little damage here

but as you can see, after the calm-

who knows fuckin' what I'm gonna say?

>> Rick: It's the second of November 1995,

about ten days ago in Dallas I finally hooked up with Marty.

First thing I did was hit the bar with him and got

so wasted, we hit three bars.

The last thing I remember was being at a titty bar,

my head laid back and a girl dancing over me.

The next thing I knew I was, um, out looking for drugs.

I actually spent two hundred dollars smoking crack cocaine

all night long.

Ended up hooking up with this gay guy, gay kid,

who had the connection for cocaine.

And, uh, smoked about two hundred dollars worth.

And most embarrassing and most humiliating is I actually

injected it twice.

And, uh,

now I carry with me again

for the next six months the dreaded worry of AIDs.

I can't believe how stupid that was,

I just can't believe how stupid it was.

When I think about my kids, I think about my little boys,

my two little boys and I would take a risk like that.

Anyway it's good that it blew up,

because now I realize how dangerous substance abuse

and alcoholism can be.

I really do.

Only now is it sinking in that my goals are

to raise Dusty and Ricky.

>> Rick: Here are the Christmas lights.

Let's hear the oohs and aahs.

>> Ricky Jr: Ooh ahh

>> Tami: Christmas ninety-five.

>> Ricky Jr: Christmas ninety-five.

>> Tami: Two Kirkham boys

>> Ricky Jr.: Kirkham boys.

>> Tami: This is a every year thing.

I remember this.

>> Rick: Santa's a little busy right now

>> Tami: I know I wanna get you getting ready

>> Rick: Ho ho ho

>> Tami: There's Santa

>> Rick: Hello little Ricky, you been a good boy?

>> Rick Jr.: Yes!

>> Rick: You have?

>> Rick:

Daddy loves you.

>> Rick: Aint nothing like a hot Jacuzzi, a good piece of joint,

and some cold weather outside.

>> Rick: This is my apartment in New York.

I'll tell ya, New York can be a lot of fun.

But wherever you live it's a shit hole.

I guess I'm gonna be here six months.

But I miss my wife and I miss my kids and I've only been away

for two days and it's really really pissing me off.

>> Rick Jr.: Let me get it, let me get it.

I get it.

>> Rick Jr.: Hello?

>> Rick: Hi is this Ricky?

>> Rick Jr.: Hi Daddy.

>> Rick: Hi little man, how are you?

>> Rick Jr.: Momma

>> Rick: Momma has what?

>> Rick Jr.: Momma

Ok, whatever that meant.

>> Tami: Are you through talking?

>> Rick: No I wanna talk to him?

>> Tami: Momma's turn?

Hello?

>> Rick: How you doing?

Put that camera on, put it on you,

How's my baby?

>> Tami: Your baby's fine.

>> Rick: I miss you.

I miss you a lot.

>> Tami: You just saying that cause the camera's on.

>> Rick: No I'm not.

Are you, are you getting yourself on that camera?

>> Tami: I miss you too.

>> Rick: Yea, are you getting yourself?

>> Tami: Huh, yeah I'm getting myself.

>> Rick: Yeah? >> Tami: Yeah.

>> Rick: Well set the camera down for a second.

>> Tami: Where am I gonna set it?

>> Rick: Go into the kitchen.

And set, open up the first cabinet at the top.

And set the camera while it's recording, set it up,

lean back on the stove bar.

>> Tami: Okay.

>> Rick: You looking right at it?

>> Tami: Yeah.

>> Rick: Can I talk to you about a few things?

>> Tami: Okay.

>> Rick: Listen, I love you.

And I know it's a long distance and a long period

of time that I'm away.

But while we have a chance to actually record it for

history I wanna tell you that you're a super woman,

a super wife, I love you dearly, and I think about you every day.

>> Tami: You know, I know you're being sincere

but it's kind of hard for me to take you serious

when I know the videotapes are rolling.

>> Rick: I know.

But it's just something I wanted to have, is to to be able

to tell you that I love you and I love our kids.

And I know my priorities in life and I'm doing

so much better, and I miss you a lot.

And, and I can hardly wait to get home.

>> Tami: Ok, I will.

Bye.

Oh my goodness gracious- that man and his video cameras!

I tell ya, the one thing that's gonna drive me insane,

put me in the loony tune home,

I know when I'm 50 years old I'm gonna love this.

Rick will be dead and gone by then you know -

but I'll be sitting there and watching them by myself.

Joking honey, I'm just joking.

I love ya, I love ya!

>> Rick: Getting off the phone with Tami is now leading me

to go do something because I'm so frustrating and I'm

so far away I can't do anything about it.

So I'm gonna go get some blow and smoke some blow.

It's a crazy evening.

Third of January, 1996.

Here in my hell hole.

>> Rick: Ahh, well that's about all it takes.

A little trip down the old block

when you live next to the projects.

I don't know what sent me off this time.

I was nice and calm until I talked to Tami.

Here we go.

Take these, which I doubt you've ever seen before.

Pour one of them in there, it's ready to go.

>> Rick:

>> Rick:

>> Tami: Today is January twenty-second.

Dusty rolled over from his back to his stomach.

>> Rick: Last night I had a major breakdown.

Talked to the doctor cried and cried.

Lot of childhood memories are coming back.

It's very painful.

It's not memories it's feelings.

Feelings.

>> Tami: And also Ricky, on the seventeen, January

woke up using the potty all by himself.

>> Rick: I don't know what got into me, but the last couple

of days of smoking that cocaine, waking up at two

in the afternoon, pissed me off.

>> Tami: And tomorrow will be January twenty-third.

Guess what that is?

Rick and Tami will have made it to three years.

Phew. Seems like we been married forever.

I don't know what these people do

when they say 'oh we've been married thirty five years'

that's a scary thought.

Very scary thought, but it'll happen.

It's gonna happen.

We love each other too much.

>> Rick: I can't be fucking around.

I got two kids.

Two great little boys.

And I plan to have more.

And I got an incredible wife.

>> Tami: Very proud of my boys.

Very very very proud.

All three of them.

That includes Rick, big Rick, little Ricky, and Dusty.

>> Rick: This is what for seven years now I've done basically

at least three nights a week if not more.

>> Tami: Guess that's it for the day.

Maybe. We'll see ya soon.

Adios, bye.

>> Rick: Yep, another fine day.

As you can see, the uh crew can't get the door open here

to the van.

People think these adventures are easy.

Everything goes wrong.

>> Rick: I ain't sayin shit until we're fucking ready.

I'm tired of screaming.

>> Rick: Here it is March 8, 1996.

We're doing the Inside Adventure at Daytona Beach.

Today's the last day of the shoot.

And it's kind of a sad day in a way

but in a way it's kind of a happy day.

This is our last inside adventure to be

out in the field shooting.

The main thing is, is that I've had a blast, I've learned a lot.

And what comes up in the future who knows.

I says itis adventure quest from now on.

>> Rick: Here we are.

Daddy drove 300 miles to the Grand Canyon last night.

>> Ricky Jr.: Daddy!

>> Rick: Boy are we enjoying the Grand Canyon or what?

>> Tami: Sleepy.

>> Rick: Are you ready?

>> Tami: Yes.

>> Rick: I know.

I wanna get my earplugs, and something to kind

of kill the pain, and something that'll knock you

out for about fourteen hours-

>> Ricky Jr.: I want candy.

>> Rick: And you, some candy.

>> Rick: We spent all of fifteen minutes at the Grand Canyon today.

>> Tami: That's all you need to see it

>> Rick: Nag nag nag nag nag

>> Tami: You're dad, I swear we've had enough of each other.

It's time to split.

Break time.

>> Rick: Does that mean we can date?

>> Tami: What?

>> Rick: Does that mean we can date around?

>> Tami: Sure.

>> Rick: Does that mean we can sleep around?

>> Tami: Sure.

>> Rick: Will you give me crap?

>> Tami: No cause I can do it too, shit.

>> Rick: You would too,

>> Tami: So would you

>> Rick: I'd lie about it and say I did

>> Tami: Bull.

>> Rick: Listen to your mother.

This is your mother talking, someday you will see this tape.

You know it's momma.

>> Tami: What?

What do you mean 'you know it's momma'?

>> Rick: She's not committed to Daddy.

>> Tami: You're the one- No, I'm committed to my kids.

>> Rick: May first, 1996.

Then I got back, I got the letter from Inside.

Dated the sixteenth, right after that weekend.

'Terminated because of non-diligent

and unfaithful service.'

That's the part that gets me.

>> Voicemail: Hey Rick, it's Kip.

Um, yo uh y'know all I can tell you, y'know, is call me ASAP.

Because, y'know, it can't go

down like this.

You owe me a lot of money.

And I want it y'know, I need it.

I can't afford to, uh, let this slip by. Alright?

>> Rick: You shouldn't have destroyed all my stuff.

>> Voicemail: I expect to hear from you by Monday.

Good bye.

>> Voicemail: This is Blockbuster video

at Coit and Legacy.

Just calling to let you know you have two movies still checked out under-

>> Rick: At least I'm getting my office fixed

up the way I want it.

The good thing is, I'm no longer employed with Inside Edition.

That's a good thing?

I wouldn't have said that five years ago.

And I'm a lot more mentally healthy now.

Damn

>> Voicemail: Hey Rick, this is Kip, uh,

checking in with you man.

Uh, this is ridiculous that, uh, I'm getting things

in the mail saying you

haven't paid the bills that I gave you

at the end you said you were gonna take care of it.

And y'know you were supposed to send me a check.

I put down all that money for you..

>> Rick: Tensions are high

because I'm not used to being home.

Been home for almost three months now.

It's driving Tami crazy because I don't know how to take care

of the kids that well.

Drug problems on my part.

And it's killing her, and it's really killing me.

I love Tami a lot and I love these boys.

I love these boys.

Look at little Dusty.

Look at little Dusty only ten months.

Yeah, Little Dusty only ten months old.

And he got a little boo boo from where Ricky hit him right there.

You gonna get Ricky back?

You gonna get Ricky the old one two?

Say pow pow pow pow pow, yeah say ooh aah take that Ricky.

Boom bom bom bomm are you gonna get him, hmm?

>> Rick: Here it is, the end of June 96.

Been living at home in Dallas for god knows how long...

What, four months.

And I'm off to get drugs.

Tami and I had a fight.

She closed my bank account, she got,

she's hidden all my credit cards.

I know she means well, but it's left me feeling

like a worthless piece of shit.

Instead of building me up

and saying hey this is day number one,

I'm off to smoke crack.

38 years old, I can't believe I'm doing this.

>> Tami: And you'll get to see daddy again, I promise, Okay.

You will.

>> Rick: Tell tell Ricky really what you're doing here, momma.

Tell Ricky what you're doing.

>> Tami: Will you stop?

>> Rick: No I want this on tape for him.

>> Tami: No I'm not talking.

>> Rick: What's wrong honey?

Let me tell you what's going on Ricky.

>> Tami: No. >> Rick: Why?

>> Tami: Don't you dare! >> Rick: Why?

You're- Because you are not telling the truth.

>> Rick: You are not taking my children away from me

after conning me with my father and with my best friend

>> Tami: You are full of it

>> Rick: to take me for every dime I have

>> Tami: Ricky, come here.

Don't listen to daddy.

Don't listen to daddy

>> Rick: Ricky, you're momma is trying to send daddy to jail.

>> Rick Jr.: I have a boogie.

>> Tami: I know you have a boogie.

Let's get it out.

>> Rick: You're momma is sending your dad away.

And that's the truth and you should know it

and I want him to know it someday.

>> Tami: Okay let, let me tell it.

>> Rick: Go ahead.

>> Tami: Your mom has been here through thick and thin.

Your dad is a crackhead.

And he has been gone all night and sleeping all day.

What are the police here now?

>> Rick: Maybe they are?

>> Tami: So I'm trying to protect us.

>> Rick: Now listen I love you and I love you.

>> Tami: Daddy does love you

and momma would never say that he didn't.

>> Rick: I love you but the police are gonna take me away

because daddy has a drug problem.

Ok? You're gonna go live with papa and you're not gonna get

to see me and it's not because I don't love you.

>> Tami: Will you stop rick?

Rick, the videotape is not going to cover up what you have done.

>> Rick: You stay out of the office Tami.

>> Tami: What's wrong?

>> Rick: The- that tape is mine.

>> Tami: Don't forget the baby is in my hand.

The baby is in my hand!

>> Rick: You stay out of my office.

You've already stolen enough things of mine.

>> Rick Jr.: Daddy?

>> Rick: It's ok little guy.

It's ok. Let me tell ya, child support comes from what I earn.

If you put me in jail I don't earn.

Do you understand that?

Do you want these kids to grow

up on a goddamn mobile home in Terrell?

>> Tami: Sshh!

>> Rick: Th- then use your brains.

Use your brains.

>> Tami: what?

I didn't interrupt he threw the damn phone

and don't talk to me like that.

He threw the phone down on the floor.

>> Rick: Let me talk to her.

Babette, in the conversation she had with her sister,

her sister convinced her that you and I were having a fling

and that you were on my side.

>> Tami: Oh bull.

>> Rick: I've got the tape.

I got it in my pocket.

That's what I fought her to get to before she could get to it.

>> Rick: Tami don't go

in my office I'm telling you right now.

>> Tami: I wasn't in the first place.

What you gonna follow me around?

You scared?

>> Rick: No you're gonna stay out of my damn office

>> Tami: Why you cursing?

>> Rick: You're going in the other room

>> Tami: You're not gonna be alone with my kids

so you can tell them your lies

>> Rick: I'm not gonna be alone with your kids.

Honey I-

>> Tami: So you can sit there

and tell them what you're telling me.

>> Rick: Let me- let me tell you something.

When I heard on that fucking recorder what you said,

you don't think that hurt me?

You don't think that destroyed me?

That destroyed my life.

>> Tami: You destroyed your own life.

>> Rick: How could you think I'd molest one of my kids?

>> Rick: Here they come.

>> Tami: You gonna videotape this?

>> Rick: Yeah, absolutely.

>> Police officer: Your alarm went off.

>> Rick: Yes it did.

Come on in officer.

>> Police officer: Everything ok?

>> Rick: Uh, not exactly.

Please step inside sir.

I'm Rick Kirkham.

We're having a a problem, a family dispute here,

basically over a phone conversation.

>> Tami: I pushed the button so let me talk.

>> Police officer: Mr. Kirkham I'll be glad to talk to you

when I'm through with her.

>> Rick: That's fine, I have no problem.

>> Rick Jr.: Daddy?

>> Rick: Come here, Listen to me,

I love you and you know I'll come see you in a few days ok.

Now mama's gonna say a lot of mean things

but they're not true alright.

Daddy loves ya and he always loves ya.

Remember we're buddies, okay?

>> Rick: You tell papa I'll see him later.

>> Rick: God, what is she doing?

My two little miracles were taken away

from me with police force.

My two little miracles.

The End.

>> Rick: At what point, can a person really, sanely,

consider themselves perhaps a little insane.

They've lost a little touch with reality.

I don't know.

>> Rick: Yeah.

I'm still sleep.

>> Tami: I was gonna tell ya, they're gonna say

that I wrongly accused you.

>> Rick: Really?

>> Rick: I was just talking about that.

>> Tami: I was tossing and turning.

>> Rick: Huh.

>> Tami: Was in there tossing

and turning, tossing and turning.

>> Rick: Come sit down if you want to.

See, now we can both be on .

>> Tami: Life fucking sucks.

>> Rick: I believe I was speaking

about that a minute ago.

How just being good to Tami.

She's such a strong lady.

I'm very proud of you.

This is the lowest we're gonna go, okay.

Ain't gonna be no lower than this.

Remember, in sickness and in health

in good times and bad times.

>> Tami: Trust me I've been through that

in my head a million times.

>> Rick: Do you really love me?

>> Tami: Yes, why?

>> Rick: Even if we lost this house?

And lost everything?

>> Tami: Yes.

>> Rick: And we're forced to live

in a mobile home beside your parents, would you love me?

>> Tami: Yes I'd love you.

I wouldn't be happy but I'd love you.

>> Rick: That's all I need to know, baby.

All I need to know.

My wife, I think ill keep her.

One in a million times a man finds a woman

and becomes love at first sight.

And that's exactly what it was, love at first sight.

>> Rick: Excuse me, do you have an invitation?

>> Tami: I didn't know you were standing there.

>> Rick: This is an invitation only party.

Nah, sorry you don't have an invitation?

This is for Dusty's birthday,

his first birthday you can't come.

No invitation, you aint comin' in.

No

>> Tami: Blow out the candle.

You gonna blow?

>> Rick Jr.: Yeah.

>> Tami: Ok, Dusty.

>> Tami: All right!

>> Tami: What's the matter?

It's ok, It's too overwhelming.

>> Rick: Yummy, yummy.

>> Rick: Did ya have a good time at Dusty's first birthday?

>> Tami: Well of course I did

>> Rick: I did too.

>> Tami: First birthday you weren't hungover at.

>> Rick: Oh haha hah.

Ha hah hah ha

>> Rick: What a good life it's turning out to be.

Tami and I are getting along.

We're juggling bills but we're gonna make it.

And, the back yard is getting cleaned up.

I see you, I see you.

Anyway here we are.

August 22nd.

It's

amazing how things turn around.

Tami went and got those tapes, came back, and handed 'em to me.

I handed her the tape of her and her sister's conversation.

Since then, everything's been fine.

There hasn't been this gut feeling of not trusting I think.

Ugh, I'm gonna get a pig nose now.

>> Tami: It's 8:50 in the morning.

Rick's not home.

He's got a lot of building to do outside,

but for some reason he wanted to go party.

And do his drugs.

Um, lets see.

I just don't let it bother me anymore.

I just wanted it on record

that Mr. good guy is not so good all the time.

Um, anyway..

>> Rick: Well here I gone and screwed up again,

with the substance abuse.

Tami's just smiling and happy when I came home.

The shame of sabotaging everything is hurting me.

Got to focus, got to find a way to focus.

'Cause I just can't control it.

>> Rick: This is babysitting.

It ain't bad.

I got to enjoy it.

And always always be prepared.

>> Rick Jr.: Stop don't smoke.

Don't do it.

>> Rick: What?

>> Tami- that gun.

>> Rick: I don't trust you,

im afraid youll kill me in my sleep.

>> Tami: Will you be quiet?

You have a son here.

He's sitting here saying all kinds of bad stuff in front

of Ricky, and Ricky's sitting here listening

to everything he's saying.

>> Rick: Give me the phone.

>> Tami: Get your hand away from me.

>> Rick: Give me the phone.

>> Tami: Get your hand away from me

>> Rick: Give-

>> Tami: Get your hand away from me.

Don't kick me or I will turn you into the police.

>> Rick: Then don't kick at me.

>> Tami: Then leave me alone. I am talking on the phone.

>> Ricky: Look what you started?

>> Tami: You started it.

Come here Ricky.

>> Rick: Do you realize when you tell the police

that you struck me first you're going to jail

>> Tami: I don't care.

and then they're gonna take me to jail for hitting you.

And then they're taking the kids to health services.

I did not hit you I threw a piece of clothing at you.

>> Rick: The kids are gonna go to a county facility you idiot.

>> Tami: You're the idiot. >> Rick: Don't you know the law?

Don't you know the law?

>> Tami: I threw a piece of Dusty's clothing

at him and he came up here-

>> Rick: -and hit me in the eye with a metal clip.

>> Tami: just calm down it's ok just give me the gun

and then I walked away from the fight

and he started beating the crap out of me.

>> Rick: Tell him tell him him to call my mother who was

on the phone when you hit me in the eye.

Tell him to call my mother

>> Tami: Get away from me.

>> Rick: Tell him to call my mother who was on the phone

when you hit me with that metal buckle in the eye

>> Tami: Ricky just witnessed all of this.

>> Rick: I didn't do anything.

It fell over

>> Rick Jr.: Why'd you knock it over?

>> Tami: I called the police.

>> Rick: It's because they know all the false reports over here.

>> Rick Jr.: What did you do to my mama?

>> Rick: I didn't do anything to your mama Ricky.

Your mama hit me in the eye.

>> Tami: He told me that he'd take the kids away from me.

He told me I'm a bad mother and that

he's gonna take me to court and get the kids away from me.

>> Rick: Honey I got it all recorded on tape

after you said id never see them again, ok?

>> Tami: I didn't say that.

>> Rick: You take you take them away

where I wont see them again, yes you'll never see them again.

>> Rick: I know.

Your mother's got some mental problems.

>> Rick Jr.: Where you going?

>> Rick: Just out to the truck.

You wanna come out?

>> Rick Jr.: Yeah.

>> Tami: No

>> Rick: Leave him alone.

>> Tami: It's cold out there.

He'll get..

>> Rick Jr.: No my mom don't want to.

>> Rick: Your mom or your dad?

>> Tami: My mom and my dad is not...

Leave me alone Rick stop!

Stop!

>> Rick: What are you doing with my phone?!

>> Tami: Give me that!

>> Rick: You tell your side of the story.

You don't want no other side told.

>> Rick: Don't worry about it.

I'm sure she's getting ready to shoot me now.

She's calling the police to take daddy away.

She broke-

>> Rick Jr.: Why'd you take the phone away from my mama?

>> Rick: So I talked to your grandpa.

>> Rick: Kenneth?

Hi, um there's been no problem here and no violence other

than the fact that while I was talking to my mom

and my mom was calming me down, Tami came up

and slung a metal buckle into my right eye

and blinded my right eye.

I freaked out, she started kicking me, and yes- I did.

I hit her.

I apologize for it, you know

that that is not the kind of person I am.

But when somebody blindsides you from behind

and literally digs your eye out it's a little painful

and all you do is react.

So you need to talk to her. All right?

She's on the phone with the cops right now.

I'm sure they'll be arriving at any moment.

>> Rick Jr.: Is the police here?

Are they?

>> Rick: Yep. They're here to take daddy away.

>> Rick Jr.: Why?

>> Rick: Come on in. >> Police officer: Hi there.

>> Rick: Come on in, officer.

No weapons.

>> Police officer: Hi buddy, how are you?

>> Rick: That's Ricky by the way.

>> Police officer: Hi Ricky.

>> Rick: Just plain ole police sticker.

Remember when you got into the police car last week?

>> Police officer: How are ya bud?

>> Rick: He's scared.

He's just seen a lot tonight.

>> Police officer: Ok

>> Rick: Come on please, make yourself-

>> Police officer: Is your wife in here?

>> Rick: No she's in my study.

Father and one with her...

>> Male Police officer: Why don't you talk

to this police officer right here

>> Rick: Ok, let me- if I can get a lighter please.

>> Female Police officer: If you don't, If you don't mind-

>> Rick: Do you have a lighter?

>> Female Police officer: No -

>> Rick: Ma'am I have to have a cigarette.

>> Rick: I know, I've gone through this

with a traffic cop before and my wife told me I can't smoke.

>> Police officer: No sir, right now I don't want you

to light that cigarette.

>> Rick: I'm going to light a cigarette.

>> Police officer: Sir?

>> Rick: You don't understand I'm

under medication I have a doctor's prescription.

>> Police officer: Ok then you shouldn't be smoking

but the point is-

>> Rick: My doctor will you different.

>> Police officer: Rick.

>> Rick: Yes, sir?

>> Police officer: Just hold on for a couple minutes.

>> Rick: I don't mind smoking outside.

>> Rick Jr.: Mom's right here.

>> Police officer: What where saying is we want you

to hold off smoking until we get this- just have a seat

and we'll go from there..

>> Tami: I gotta get off the phone

>> Rick: Tell em-

>> Police officer: Let me look at the back of your head.

>> Rick: No in the eye.

>> Police officer: Oh ok

>> Rick: Right eye.

>> Police officer: Let me see your other side.

Ok. Whereabouts in the eye.

>> Rick: Right in the eye.

>> Police officer: Right in the eye?

>> Rick: Yes sir.

>> Police officer: Let me look at your other eye there.

Ok and that was the only place contact was made with you.

>> Rick: Yes sir, that's correct.

Has it been cleared up as to who threw the first blow?

>> Police officer: I've got her her version of what happened.

>> Rick: Did she admit to that is what I'm asking ya?

>> Police officer: I'm not going to talk to you while that's on.

>> Rick: Officer, this this is a press camera

>> Police officer: That's a Sony handicam.

>> Rick: Would you like to see my current Dallas

police credentials?

>> Police officer: I don't doubt that you have them.

>> Rick: Well then this is a press camera

>> Police officer: At this point you are,

are you in a working capacity?

>> Rick: Yes I am sir.

>> Police officer: In that case as far as that's concerned

in a working condition you can talk to our, uh,

public information officer.

>> Rick: Well, The camera doesn't go off

and if you don't wanna answer those questions then then go

ahead and do what you have to do.

>> Police officer: Ok, then at this point I need you to stand

up for me please and place your hands behind your back.

>> Rick: Okay

>> Police officer: We're gonna do this this

as easy as possible.

>> Rick: I have no problem with this.

>> Police officer: Oh I, you're being very cooperative.

>> Rick: Yeah but I wanna know why why my children aren't being

placed in a protective custody.

>> Police officer: Let's go

>> Rick: My my wife has a loaded handgun

and is not stable and her own father

>> Police officer: No your wife does not have a loaded handgun.

>> Rick: Her own father said she should not have it.

Officer, I want my children held

under protective custody from my wife.

She is not stable, understand?

>> Rick: Two weeks ago I made a trip to Oklahoma city.

My purpose was to go to St. Louis

and to confront and kill my father.

I drove five hundred miles, got there about

one in the morning and

set there with a 22 rifle and 2 gallon gas can trying to figure

out should I burn him down

or should I kill him and get it over with?

>> Rick: I guess his telling me that he didn't wanna give me

or loan me any money and maybe I needed to lose everything

and live on the streets and

how he didn't wanna support another woman meaning Tami.

He'd already supported two.

It made me realize that he's not my dad, he's not my father.

Then I sat there with a rifle loaded ready

to kill a man that I hate,

a man that's destroyed my family and I just couldn't do it.

I just couldn't do it.

But -

odds are, I may have to.

>> Rick: Dusty and Ricky and Tami,

I guess the only reason I make this recording is

because I don't want you to think I made a mistake in life.

I know what I'm setting myself up for.

I'm setting myself up to die in the next few days.

I'm just fucked up in the head.

The last seven years or so have just been so crazy.

I've just kind of lost my mind.

I just don't wanna live anymore.

>> Rick: Now who says an intoxicated man can't go out

and blow out a little anger?

Whoa!

>> Rick: I wrecked the jeep last night.

I've virtually destroyed my life at this point.

Because of drugs, I've lied to everybody I know.

It's not easy to sit in front of this camera

and admit that that I've failed

in a big way.

I don't know what happened to the old Rick.

But I guess, getting fired from Inside has,

has hurt me a lot deeper than I think or know.

I felt I'e gone down, I've gone down as far as you can go.

But I love my kids and I love my wife.

And I have to find a way to salvage this.

And the only way I can do it is bear down

and grit my teeth and do it.

It's never too late.

It's never too late.

>> Rick Jr.: Oh that's broke because daddy crashed again.

>> Rick: Well tonight I go

into rehab hopefully this wont be happening no more.

Jesus Christ.

>> Tami: Phew, it's gone be a tough one.

But we're tough.

We are tough family.

We gotta get rick into rehab, me out of school,

get rick a job, I get a job.

We gotta get our family ogether.

We're just going through hard times right now

and it's gonna work out.

One way or the other.

>> Rick Jr.: Momma?

>> Tami: What?

What is it?

>> Rick Jr.: I want dad home?

>> Tami: You want what?

You want daddy to come home?

>> Tami: These precious baby boys.

Precious.

Their lives are gonna be destroyed

if their dad doesn't straighten his act up.

We could have it all.

We have a beautiful family.

>> Rick Jr.: Momma? What is it?

>> Tami: We could just have it all.

>> Rick Jr.: What. It's ok mama.

>> Tami: I know sweetie I'm sorry.

Mom's just getting a little emotional

because she loves her family so much.

>> Rick: Daddy's slept on concrete floors of jails,

jail cells, padded cells, um,

uh lumpy um bug infested uh psycho ward cells suicide-watch

cells uh the, um, mental hospital cells.

Sure was nice to sleep at home last night.

>> Tami: We made it.

We're all together.

>> Rick: Barely.

But we made it.

>> Rick Jr.: momma?

>> Tami: Momma likes this new man.

>> Rick: Happy thanksgiving momma and all the kids.

Daddy's cooking.

>> Tami: Daddy made all our breakfasts this morning.

>> Rick: Yeah daddy made breakfast.

Is it good Ricky?

>> Tami: Mhm.

>> Daddy's making breakfast.

>> Rick: I just can't believe we made it this far.

>> Tami: Why not?

>> Rick: Cause now I feel like

we're gonna no doubt make it all the way.

>> Tami: Don't you wanna count your blessings?

>> Rick: I'm counting 'em but there's too many to count.

>> Rick: I don't know why you kept me.

>> Tami: I love you

>> Rick: Why'd you go through all that and stay?

>> Tami: Because I knew this person right here was

in there somewhere.

We just had to find him.

>> Rick: Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

>> Rick: So Monday January 20, 1997.

I'll tell you pain.

Pain is filling out the papers to go bankrupt,

not having a job, being two weeks away

from losing your house.

And just not knowing what's gonna happen.

Being straight is a lot more painful than hiding

from all your problems.

But you know what's been bugging me more than anything?

I've cried a couple times because a couple

of weeks ago Tami went to buy Ricky's shoes and, um,

had to go to a second hand store to buy him a pair of shoes.

Less than two weeks from being foreclosed on,

and Ricky is wearing someone else's second hand shoes.

>> Voicemail: Hello Rick, this is Cliff- General Manager

of K-TEN television in Denison,Texas

>> Rick: I got the job.

Rick Kirkham, news director, main anchorman

for K-TEN television, Sherman Denison Texas.

I got the job.

>> Rick Jr.: My dad's the man.

>> Rick: April Fool's Day, my first back day at work

>> Rick: I'll be back in a little while.

Listen-

>> Rick Jr.: Don't leave me.

>> Rick: I'll be back in a little bit.

>> Rick Jr.: You can't leave me.

>> Rick: Daddy's gotta go to work.

I'll be back in a little bit.

>> Tami: Ssh, baby.

>> Anchorman: In case you just tuned in a few minutes ago,

this is our new anchor and news director here Rick Kirkham.

And welcome aboard.

>> Rick: thank you, it's great to be here.

You know Allen and I worked together fifteen years ago.

>> Anchorwoman: I know I can't believe it.

You're dating yourself.

>> Rick: It's kind of- well we were six years old at the time.

>> Anchorwoman: Right.

>> Tami: What's wrong honey?

>> Rick: Moving.

>> Tami: What are you moving?

>> Rick: Moving from Plano to Pottsboro Texas.

>> Tami: Pottsboro, Texas?

That sounds like a hillbilly place.

>> Rick: It is.

>> Rick: Hey family, we're home for the first time.

Everybody ready to go to our home.

Living a log cabin life.

>> Rick: What are ya doing?

Please do not flush the toilet anymore.

>> Rick: How do you like your log cabin?

>> Tami: I love my log cabin.

I feel like I'm in Arkansas.

>> Tami likes it and I like it.

If Tami likes it then I really like it.

>> Tami: And the boys love it.

>> Rick: The boys love it.

The boys love it

>> Rick: Those are my boys those are my boys.

The Kirkham boys.

>> Rick: Well I have to admit.

This is a little hard to believe.

I've been news director here in Denison Texas.

It's just so weird being a news director.

I mean, it's weird enough being a news anchor.

The senior news anchor but being a news director is just whoa.

I guess the greatest thing about working here,

I got a bar downstairs.

Go down to the bar have a few drinks come back up.

We joke so much on set. It's so much fun.

This is the fun part I guess in the news business.

Doing local television in a smaller market

where you can get away with murder and have fun.

I love it.

>> Rick: Well I haven't made a videotape diary entry

in several months.

Life has been so fucked up.

I'm on a paid suspension,

after my boss asked for my resignation.

Nine months into my job at K-TEN as news director and anchorman.

I don't even know if I can be in this business anymore.

How can you be in the public eye with a past like mine?

This shit is killing my wife.

It's absolutely killing Tami.

Our life is being destroyed once again.

If I had a gun in my hand, I'd sit right here

in this parking lot in Ricky's school and blow my brains out.

Goddamn I wish I had a gun right now just

to blow my freaking brains out.

>> Anchorwoman: Finally tonight I know you know,

those of us here at Region 10 News regrettably bid farewell

to our news director and my co-anchor Rick Kirkham

and Rick is in our control room,

and Rick I understand you are off

to a new adventure in your career.

>> Rick: That's right Ash it's a little strange being on

this side of the camera. >> Anchorwoman: I bet

>> Rick: As you know I've been working on a book

over the last eight years about my my eight or ten years

at Inside Edition as senior correspondent and I kind of,

gotten away from that with all the extra hours here

at Region 10 so I've got to wrap that up

and get it to the publishers.

In addition of course my little boys Ricky

and Dusty haven't seen a whole lot of daddy lately.

Now they're gonna get to.

>> Anchorwoman: Well thank you and I hope you'll come back

and visit and promise me an autographed copy

of that book when it comes out.

>> Rick: You get the first copy.

>> Anchorwoman: Thanks Rick.

Good luck to you and we'll miss you.

>> Rick: It's about ten minutes to midnight.

December 31, 1997.

It's been a rough year, not as bad as last year.

I can only hope that 1998 is gonna be a lot better year.

Happy new year 1998, my last year

>> Tami: Whooo.

Yeah, god.

What'd it do?

Squirt you all over the face?

>> Rick: Let's hope 98 is better than 97.

Happy New Year

>> Tami: Happy New Year.

>> Rick: I hope we're together forever.

>> Tami: We will be.

It's on tape.

>> Rick: Last week, I think it was how soon can I get away?

>> Rick: Alright baby.

>> Tami: Today is all that matters.

>> Rick: '97 is history.

Let's go inside and start '98.

>> Tami: K, Let's get warm.

>> Rick: Long Saturday.

I'm just sitting here battling, man, to either go do drugs

or fight this and stay here and not do anything.

And I hate it.

I mean it's like everything inside of your fucking gut,

everything in your soul you fight it.

I fucking hate this.

I hate it.

>> Rick: It's like, at this point all you do is hope

that you don't fucking end up going back for more.

Pray to god you don't go back for more.

>> Rick: The bottom line is, ok I fell.

But I didn't fall bad.

I cannot remember a time in the last fifteen years

that I didn't go back for more for a second.

So I'm all right.

I shouldn't drank that much, I shouldn't have got that excited,

I shouldn't have been that lonely.

All the triggers fired.

And I, I see that.

But I fought it,

I buried my head in a pillow, and I didn't go back.

>> Rick: Figuring out the answer will never bring my career back,

it'll never bring my wife back,

my money my cars my fame my fortune.

I'll never have it again.

But it has brought me six years of being clean.

It has also given me back, the very thing

that helped me get clean in the first place.

These are my sons Ricky and Dusty.

Their mother, my former wife, also honors me

by sitting amongst you today along with my sons.

I promise you from experience, life isn't worth living

with substance abuse, but the good news is,

it is never too late to turn it all around.

Congratulations.

>> Rick: Here you hold that.

>> Dusty: I'll be taking pictures of daddy.

>> Rick: Ok.

You do that.

Thank you, you little wild man.

>> Dusty: Here ya go.

>> Rick: Oh yeah here you go, here's your coke.

>> Dusty: Thank you

>> Rick: I'll trade ya.

Thank you.

>> Rick: Ok, Ricky crawl back in here.

Gonna get cold out there.

Gotta stay good, we don't wanna get sick.

>> Rick: If I had one wish, on this Christmas Eve,

it would be to go back to 1993 and come out of that rehab

and truly have learned my lesson of drugs.

I just wish that my family had made it-

that that one marriage, one wife, the two kids,

maybe a third, that we had made it.

If I could go back in time and know what the drugs had done

to me and what the fame had done to me and

all the money I was making had done to me.

I would have done everything different.

Everything I would have done differently.