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>> Talk Show Host: Ten points
lower for the word, first.

What was wrong with it?

>> Rick: Well I thought the
first one was too rough.

But compared to the second one,
which was a lot easier-going-

>> Rick's aunt: From
Topeka, Maryland,

Morris Total news nine.

>> Rick: Sir, what
is the toga to you?

>> Student: Well, the toga is
definitely a phallic symbol

representing the sexual
freedom at the time.

>> Rick: Good evening
I'm Rick Kirkham.

>> Rick: Good morning
I'm Rick Kirkham.

>> Rick: Reporting from North
Texas, Rick Kirkham NBC News.

>> Rick: Mr. Brokaw,
Rick Kirkham

with the affiliate
in Wichita Falls.

>> Tom Brokaw: Hi, how are you?

>> Reporter: Who are you with?

>> Rick: Rick Kirkham, with
TV 3 in Wichita Falls Texas.

>> Reporter: uh huh,
that's right.

>> Rick: Is it hard
to handle the stardom

that the network stars
are getting in comparison

with the political stars here?

>> Rick: Things have quieted
down here on the strip only

in the last hour or so

>> Rick: Walker went
back and forth

to the house continually
screaming several times

for the police to shoot him

>> Rick: Going along on a raid
requires a lengthy debriefing

as well as a bullet-proof vest.

>> Police: Freeze!

Hands up! Don't move!

>> Rick: This raid is
part of a major crackdown

on crack, or rock cocaine.

>> Rick: As long as drug
dealers supply this,

customers will continue
to supply this.

>> Reporter: Rick Kirkham
is in Oakland at the site

of the rescue attempts.

>> Rick: Bill I'm standing
about 60 yards away now

from the worst scene
of destruction here

in here the Oakland area.

>> Rick: This was the scene
just seven hours after the
delivery

of the verdict in
the Rodney King case.

>> Rick: According
to Bert Wilkoff,

it was his girlfriend
Stephanie Pacheevus

and his own son Michael
who took this weapon

to the apartment that night.

>> Sandra: Good morning Rick.

>> Rick: Good morning Sandra
and good morning Australia.

>> Rick: Why is it that you
have done so many good things?

>> Rick: What basically is
happening down here Chuck?

>> George Bush Sr: This guy
is a real point of light

and he can do far more
than government can do.

>> Rick:
Have a great weekend.

>> Rick: It's February 28, 1990

>> Rick: September 17, 1991

>> Rick: It's the
29th of June 1992

>> Rick: Here I am, in Jamaica.

>> Rick: Christ Church,
New Zealand.

>> Rick: It was London
then back to New York then

to Vegas, LA onto New Zealand

>> Rick: I've interviewed Dick
Clark, Joe Walsh, Johanna Lulu

for the weekend back to
California for the weekend

>> Rick: I've uh spent the day
with the playmate of the year

out on lake mead jet skiing.

And here I am, back in
Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

>> Rick: There's been a
lot of bad things as well.

A lot of problems that I've
had, personal problems,

>> Rick: A minor cocaine
problem has has snuck up again,

and it has to be
nipped in the bud.

Screwing up every
relationship that comes along,

not wanting to work now that
I've hit the peak of success

and then life was going
down and I've been in- into,

into that pattern
now for over a year.

>> Rick: This video may prove
may prove very beneficial

>> Rick: It's been a good year.

Season's over with now, uh, I
got the senior reporter title,

Had some really good
shows this year.

I thought that'd I travel

around Europe I brought a
backpack, and uh, that's it.

Passport and money.

So I'm gonna take some pictures
im gonna check out all of Europe

by train and check
out Amsterdam.

>> Rick: Hey, hey what can
I say Brussels, Belgium.

>> Rick: Dusseldorf, Germany

>> Rick: We're in Paris now.

We're with the girls,
they're gonna take me

out get me in trouble.

>> Rick: These people
are crazy here in Spain.

>> Rick: Good afternoon.

Welcome to my humble
abode here on the ocean.

Let me just put it this
way, I if I did die I went

out the way I wanted to go.

In a blaze of glory.

>> Rick: ready for
a cigarette yeah.

Ok, it's the second
day of November 1992.

I'm working here in
Christchurch, New Zealand and a
couple

of days ago I found out
that my girlfriend back

in the states, Tami,
is pregnant.

Quite a shock and uh I
guess it's gonna result

in quite a change in my life,
um, I fully intend to marry her

and I love her a lot
and I'll love our child.

And I can only say that to my
unborn child whenever you watch

this someday, you may
not have been planned

but you'll be welcomed into
the world and ill be so glad

that uh everything
worked out the way it did.

>> Rick:
I'm in love with a Texas girl,

she means all the world.

To me.

When she walks into the room,

I can smell her sweet perfume

Her eyes they look at me.

I see that she loves me.

>> Rick: You're nervous.

look at that.

>> Family:

>> Rick: That's, that's
34 years of waiting.

Tami Carrell will you marry me?

>> Tami: Yes

>> Rick: well, here it
is Christmas morning

and look what Tami is doing.

>> Tami: I'm gonna kill you

>> Rick: What ya doin' honey?

>> Tami: Get that thing off me.

>> Rick: Hey be nice,
it's Christmas day.

>> Tami: I don't
care, I look terrible.

>> Rick: I think it's
a great Christmas

if Tami would just smile
and have a good time.

>> Rick: You've been crying?

>> Tami: I'm gonna slap
the shit out of you.

>> Rick: You have.

>> Tami: I know
I've been crying.

We've already talked
about it so don't try

to get it on videotape.

>> Rick: Why don't you tell me

about the burdens
you dealing with?

>> Tami: Repeat.

Rewind. Zzz.

Instant replay of
what just happened.

>> Rick: No.

Just tell me what you're
feeling burdened about?

>> Tami: Life.

>> Rick:

It's just after Christmas hun.

New years is this weekend.

You're gonna get married in
about 3 and a half weeks.

What's the problem?

You should be excited.

>> Tami: I wanna throw up

>> Rick: Why aren't
you excited? Huh?

>> Tami: 'Cause
I wanna run away.

>> Rick: Why are you
putting me on camera?

>> Tami: You what?

>> Rick: I what what?

>> Tami: What'd you say
about the wedding band?

>> Rick:

I'm making my list

>> Tami: What'd you say
about the wedding band?

>> Rick: I'm making my
list here of everything-

>> Tami: And checking it twice?

>> Rick: -that has to be done

>> Tami: You what?

>> Rick: And I-

>> Tami: If you're not wearing
your wedding band we're not

getting married.

>> Rick: I just asked if I
could put the wedding band

on the list?

>> Tami: Are you
wearing a wedding band?

>> Rick: We could
just cut right to-

I don't wanna wear a
wearing wedding band.

I don't like rings.

>> Tami: Then, Then
we're not getting married.

>> Rick: C'mon hun.

>> Tami: Nope.
>> Rick: Tami.

>> Family member:
You nervous yet?

>> Rick: I'm getting a little.

Just a little.

>> Crowd: Cheers

>> Old Relative:
You said I could go

on the honeymoon with ya.

>> Tami: Hmm, what?

>> Rick: Are you
getting a little nervous

to find out what it is?

>> Tami: Yeah. Are you?

>> Rick: What do
you want it to be?

>> Tami: I don't care

>> Rick: I'm anxious
to know what it is too.

>> Doctor: It looks like a boy.

>> Rick: Are you sure?
>> Tami:

>> Doctor: It's what it looks
like.

>> Rick: Cuz it really-
I mean can you really?

>> Doctor: Sure looks like it.

>> Tami: It is. I think so.

>> Rick: How- How
often can you be wrong?

>> Now See look, see those
two little things right there?

They look like testicles to me.

>> Rick: Yes!

A Ricky Junior.

Oh god.

>> Rick: This is the Inside
Edition big island bureau.

Where we don't do fuck.

This is the incriminating
evidence

at the Inside Edition
bureau on the big island.

Tank makers.

Tank makers pump out and
they make big buck story

>> Reporter: So after basically
ripping off the fucking Hawaiian

bats for all their weed down
here, have a look at this.

A pack of Lo-lo. We told them a
lot of lies.

We told them we'd tell their
story but that's bullshit.

We're not gonna tell their
story we're just doing a story

about a bunch of
fucking lunatic bats.

We have dope.

>> Rick: C'mon Tookie can
we be wild when we take off?

>> Rick: Well it's, uh,
May 9, 1993 and, phew,

I'm checked in as an
in-patient in the, uh,

chemical dependency unit

at Hoag Memorial Hospital
here in Newport Beach.

And it's something I
guess that I needed to do

for the last ten years,
maybe fifteen years,

and as much as I didn't want
to, I'm glad that it's all come

down the way that it has.

The boss has intervened
with me about ten days ago.

I've been in the program a week

and it was probably the greatest
thing anyone ever did for me.

They set everything up and

standing behind me a hundred
percent so I can get rid

of this cocaine problem.

Never thought I'd end up
in a chemical dependency

unit though.

It uh....Real blow to the
ego at first.

But then when you
understand it's a disease

and that something you
have to treat, y'know,

with a recovery program you
begin to feel a lot better.

So anyway, things are
gonna be great this summer.

My first child will be here
in couple of months and Tami

and I will have uh
beginning a perfect life

that we always wanted.

So a couple more weeks of
CDU and I'm going home.

>> Tami:

>> Rick: He's coming
honey, look!

>> Doctor: All right!

>> Rick: What you call real
first home movies, huh?

My grandma just became
a great grandma.

And my mom a grandma
for the first time.

>> Tami: And you a daddy.

>> Relative: Yeah.

>> Rick: June 28, 1993.

Little Ricky is here.

Nothing really seems all that
important anymore except, uh,

making sure that that Tami and
Ricky are happy and healthy.

I laid in bed all night
last night watching her get

up with him and I kept thinking,

God don't let anything
happen to him.

Don't let him get sick,

don't let him stop
breathing or anything.

This is what it's all about.

We've started our family
and I've waited a long time

for it, I'm glad it's here.

>> Rick: Hey, are you trying
to break into this house?

>> Tami: Yeah.

>> Rick: M'kay.

As you come in, you
have a nice view here.

immediately off to the left
we have the dining room.

Here's the formal living room.

And the study of course,

with the French window
pane doors, notice that.

That was my option.

And a key lock to
keep the kids out.

It's also designed
to keep Tami out.

>> Tami: Get this on tape.

Uh, never mind.

I thought he was
gonna roll over.

>> Rick: this could be a big
event here on live television.

As he tries to roll over
only for the second time.

>> Tami: Push on over.

There you go.

>> Rick: Are you having fun now?

Are you daddy's goony, huh?

Are you daddy's gooby?

Santa's going off to
play with the elf.

>> Tami and Rick:

>> Rick: This has gotta be the
worst part of the last nine-

ten months, is that Tami's
gotta take me to the airport

so I can fly back to new
york and go back to work.

For almost ten months now, we've
been doing this, where I fly

for a couple days
every two weeks.

I know it tears her up,
and it's really tough on me.

And god only knows about him,
it's gotta be hard on him too.

But, if we can just
hang in there I know

that things can work out.

It makes it really difficult.

>> Rick: We've been waiting
a long time for this.

Here it is. Race time.

>> Sports announcers:
So at the line.

It's Kirkham.

Now let's go down
and meet our winner,

Rick Kirkham in Victory Circle.

>> Rick: I don't think
I've ever been on top

of the world quite
like this before.

You can't describe this feeling.

>> Friend: No you can't.

>> Rick: There's no way
to describe this feeling.

>> Friend: Nope.

>> Rick: I just can't imagine

that the inside adventure
series has done so well.

This career is so important
to me because of coming

from no where, y'know just a kid

from Oklahoma I wanna
be somebody,

I wanna be something big that
people talk about that people

respect and admire.

This is going to be a big
year in my career, um,

my only hope is that I can keep
my family tight and together

and not lose Tami and not
lose the opportunity to be

with Ricky growing up.

I want that family and uh
and I feel like the best way

to provide them with everything
they wanted in life is

to keep this career
going as it is.

That's about where I'm standing
right now, hanging in there.

>> Rick: Happy fathers
day to me.

Happy fathers day to me.

And there's my little guy
who made it all possible.

Hey little man, what you
doing out of your robe?

>> Tami: Can you see him?

>> Rick: No.

>> Tami: Come here daddy.

>> Rick: How come you
not wearing your robe?

That's weird.

Where ya going?

>> Tami: Oh my god!

>> Tami: That's funny.

>> Rick: Last week, Tami
told me she was pregnant

which is pretty exciting.

it has really opened my eyes
to the fact that I have

to really stay ambitious and
keep things going and I need

to change and, it's like,
ready get out of the

business if I can't
get something bigger

and better going.

I need to get healthy,
I need to exercise, uh,

I need to stay away from
the vices of all kinds.

I need to find

that, that that light
that charges me

and helps me really
look at what's going on

and what's ahead of me.

>> Tami: My husband's gone.

He wanted on videotape of
him leaving and all that.

But what he doesn't ever
videotape is momma getting up,

making coffee, making
bottles, changing diapers,

ironing shirts, getting
his suits together,

picking out ties.

Anyway, I love my
husband and now hes off

to earn his living now he's
gonna have a very very busy busy

day cause he's working hard
and he's trying to do real good

for them and for the family.

>> Rick: I'm sure someday I'll
appreciate the fact that I sat

down and videotaped this.

Although it's very
uncomfortable doing so.

Today is my 37th birthday
and here I am sitting here,

fiending, to get these
things out and get 'em

into a makeshift little pipe
so that I can get a buzz.

And that's how horrible
the addiction is,

and yet it takes over your mind.

I mean the whole time back
in the cab ride from 93rd

and Amsterdam where I've
been countless times.

All I'm doing is trying
to hold down my stomach

because it's anticipation
of what's to come

and, y'know, keep the
shakes from setting in.

It's like it's completely like
a second life, it really is.

It's like a second life and

yet you can't really believe
it's happening but it is.

It's just an addiction.

And It's an overwhelmingly
strong drug,

which makes for an
overwhelmingly,

overwhelmingly strong addiction.

>> Rick: That's it right there.

It's a makeshift pipe.

Crack cocaine.

See the packets?

Crack itself.

It's definitely not
an easy thing to do.

I can only hope that I'll
learn from it down the road.

I know I learned from
some other things,

but this addiction is gonna kill

and me the terrible thing is
you don't think about your
family,

your friends, your career.

All you think about
is doing this shit.

>> Rick: Um it's kind of a-

this is really weird talking
to a camera doing this.

It's kind of a a euphoric
almost hard to speak

because of the rush type high.

Um, I'd say within a matter
of seconds, it um, for me,

it becomes a almost, um,
very sexual in a way.

not in a good way by any means.

Very raw, very animalistic,
very lustful.

I hope I'm being honest.

Um, a

very primeval sort of way.

And at last in my experience
with this rotten drug.

How can something be so
euphoric and so terrible.

You do it even though
you know it can kill you.

Why? I don't understand why.

>> Rick: Nine thirty.

Nine o clock in the morning.

I can't move my body.

I can't even talk.

I feel depressed as shit.

This is the result.

This is what you get.

I guess I'm glad
that I taped it.

It's daytime.

I'm supposed to be at work.

I'm gonna try to
finagle my way out now.

>> Rick: The next day
is always a nightmare

because usually I
have to go to work.

Today there was just no way.

That's five times this week
I've done that.

It's gotta stop.

I argued with the
wife on the phone.

She's disappointed in
me 'cause she knows.

I know my boss John knows.

And I don't get anything done.

Nothing.

>> Rick: Well...

twenty-four hours later
this is the result.

Twenty fours hours later, um,

it's debilitating. It's
totally debilitating.

You can't focus on
anything other than

total recuperation,
total isolation,

uh, fighting off the depression.

Debilitating. It's
totally debilitating.

>> Rick: So this is
pretty fucking typical.

It's now forty-eight
hours later.

Yes, I'm fucked up.

Couple of drinks at the
bar is all it takes.

>> Tami: Are you waiting
on daddy to come in?

>> Baby: Yeah.

>> Tami: Is daddy's
airplane gonna come in?

>> Baby: Yeah.

>> Tami: Did you miss daddy?

>> Baby: I have cars.

>> Rick: Yeah.

Look in here.

>> Friend: Today's
Ricky's birthday.

He's upstairs, ok.

There's the old man right there.

You know why they're up here?

Because they're afraid
of Barney.

That's why.

Are you glad you spent the
money and brought Barney

out here for your son?

>> Rick: Oh yeah absolutely.

>> Friend: Look!

Yes, He's a courageous
man just like his dad.

A wimp. Hiding from
a purple dinosaur.

So what do you think
about Barney and your s-

>> Rick: Barney's down
there and my son is hiding.

>> Rick: There he goes.

Say bye Barney.

Say bye Barney.

>> Rick Jr.: Bye Barney.

>> Rick: All right.

There goes Barney!

>> TV Show Host: My first
guest has done it all.

He's been set on fire,
wrestled a nine-foot alligator,

and even boxed with me.

Please welcome my good friend
and senior correspondent

for Inside Edition,
Rick Kirkham.

Take a look at this.

>> Narrator: They call
themselves adrenaline junkies.

People who live life
on the edge.

Bungee cord jumping, swimming
with sharks, skydiving.

Some people are comfortable
just getting

up in the morning
and going to work.

But not these people.

They thrive on finding
the next thrill.

>> TV Show Host: Yikes, set
on fire, shot out of a cannon,

so I'd have to say you're
scariest moment was -

boxing with me?

>> Rick: Uh, y'know-

>> TV Show Host:
Oh oh oh oh oh oh!

>> Rick: What?

>> Tami: We have to
go to the hospital.

>> Rick: Are you serious?

>> Tami: She said they're
gonna put me on a monitor

so they can monitor
the contractions.

>> Tami: Get me to the damn
hospital and quit worrying

about that damn camera.

>> Tami: Daddy's gonna
crash before we make it

to the hospital.

>> Rick: Oh we're
not gonna crash.

You said you wanted
every bit of it on tape.

>> Tami: I'm in labor and
I have to hold the camera

so daddy can drive so he
can get it on videotape.

>> Rick: I'm sorry but
I'm a video junkie

I videotaped everything.

My god I videotaped your
twat when Ricky was coming

into the world, so
you just better-

>> Tami: Our kids are
gonna be watching this

so watch what you say.

>> Rick: Well, I'll
beep out that word

but I videotaped Ricky
coming into the world.

I'm gonna damn well
videotape Dusty.

It'll be just as special.

>> Tami:

>> Rick: It's all right

>> Tami: Oh my god.

>> Rick: It's all right
honey, it's all right.

>> Tami:

>> Rick: There's Dusty.

There's little Dusty honey.

>> Doctor: Do you
wanna cut this?

Wanna cut the cord?

>> Rick: Yeah, I'm
going to on this one.

>> Ok mom, aim the camera.

>> Rick: Where at?
Right in between?

>> Nurse: Yeah, that'll do it.

Alright Dusty hang in there
baby.

This is just like a a movie.

What was that comedy
we saw with, uh,

Robin Williams filming.

Rick: You're awesome honey.

>> Rick: Little Dusty.

After all that trouble
he's here.

This is my second
boy, the Kirkham boys.

Tear up Dallas, alright.

You did awesome.

I love you.

>> Rick: You wanna
stand by the stork?

>> Rick Jr.: Yeah.

>> Rick: ooh.

Is that for your
baby brother Dusty?

>> Rick: Time sure goes by fast.

I mean it seems just like
yesterday I was single

in California, met Tami,

got married, had Ricky, moved
to New York, moved back to LA.

Had Dusty.

It's all in a flash.

My grandmother was right.

Life goes by way to
fast not to enjoy it.

Because while the days may
seem long, over a period

of time it's just a flash.

>> Rick: Within just
a couple hours

of the storm here in downtown.

Within just a couple of hours

of Hurricane Opal ravaging
itself through-ravaging.

Three, two, one, wi- Fuck

I got cars everywhere.

Within just a couple of hours
after Hurricane Opal came

through downtown Pensacola
Florida all was quiet.

In fact there's really
relatively little damage here

but as you can see,
after the calm-

who knows fuckin'
what I'm gonna say?

>> Rick: It's the
second of November 1995,

about ten days ago in Dallas I
finally hooked up with Marty.

First thing I did was hit
the bar with him and got

so wasted, we hit three bars.

The last thing I remember
was being at a titty bar,

my head laid back and a
girl dancing over me.

The next thing I knew I was,
um, out looking for drugs.

I actually spent two hundred
dollars smoking crack cocaine

all night long.

Ended up hooking up with
this gay guy, gay kid,

who had the connection
for cocaine.

And, uh, smoked about two
hundred dollars worth.

And most embarrassing and
most humiliating is I actually

injected it twice.

And, uh,

now I carry with me again

for the next six months
the dreaded worry of AIDs.

I can't believe how
stupid that was,

I just can't believe
how stupid it was.

When I think about my kids,
I think about my little boys,

my two little boys and I
would take a risk like that.

Anyway it's good that it blew
up,

because now I realize how
dangerous substance abuse

and alcoholism can be.

I really do.

Only now is it sinking
in that my goals are

to raise Dusty and Ricky.

>> Rick: Here are
the Christmas lights.

Let's hear the oohs and aahs.

>> Ricky Jr: Ooh ahh

>> Tami: Christmas ninety-five.

>> Ricky Jr: Christmas
ninety-five.

>> Tami: Two Kirkham boys

>> Ricky Jr.: Kirkham boys.

>> Tami: This is
a every year thing.

I remember this.

>> Rick: Santa's a
little busy right now

>> Tami: I know I wanna
get you getting ready

>> Rick: Ho ho ho

>> Tami: There's Santa

>> Rick: Hello little
Ricky, you been a good boy?

>> Rick Jr.: Yes!

>> Rick: You have?

>> Rick:

Daddy loves you.

>> Rick: Aint nothing like a hot
Jacuzzi, a good piece of joint,

and some cold weather outside.

>> Rick: This is my
apartment in New York.

I'll tell ya, New York
can be a lot of fun.

But wherever you live
it's a shit hole.

I guess I'm gonna
be here six months.

But I miss my wife and I miss
my kids and I've only been away

for two days and it's really
really pissing me off.

>> Rick Jr.: Let me
get it, let me get it.

I get it.

>> Rick Jr.: Hello?

>> Rick: Hi is this Ricky?

>> Rick Jr.: Hi Daddy.

>> Rick: Hi little
man, how are you?

>> Rick Jr.: Momma

>> Rick: Momma has what?

>> Rick Jr.: Momma

Ok, whatever that meant.

>> Tami: Are you
through talking?

>> Rick: No I wanna talk to him?

>> Tami: Momma's turn?

Hello?

>> Rick: How you doing?

Put that camera on,
put it on you,

How's my baby?

>> Tami: Your baby's fine.

>> Rick: I miss you.

I miss you a lot.

>> Tami: You just saying
that cause the camera's on.

>> Rick: No I'm not.

Are you, are you getting
yourself on that camera?

>> Tami: I miss you too.

>> Rick: Yea, are
you getting yourself?

>> Tami: Huh, yeah
I'm getting myself.

>> Rick: Yeah?
>> Tami: Yeah.

>> Rick: Well set the
camera down for a second.

>> Tami: Where am
I gonna set it?

>> Rick: Go into the kitchen.

And set, open up the
first cabinet at the top.

And set the camera while
it's recording, set it up,

lean back on the stove bar.

>> Tami: Okay.

>> Rick: You looking
right at it?

>> Tami: Yeah.

>> Rick: Can I talk to
you about a few things?

>> Tami: Okay.

>> Rick: Listen, I love you.

And I know it's a long
distance and a long period

of time that I'm away.

But while we have a chance
to actually record it for

history I wanna tell you
that you're a super woman,

a super wife, I love you
dearly, and I think about you
every day.

>> Tami: You know, I
know you're being sincere

but it's kind of hard for
me to take you serious

when I know the videotapes
are rolling.

>> Rick: I know.

But it's just something I
wanted to have, is to to be able

to tell you that I love
you and I love our kids.

And I know my priorities
in life and I'm doing

so much better, and
I miss you a lot.

And, and I can hardly
wait to get home.

>> Tami: Ok, I will.

Bye.

Oh my goodness gracious- that
man and his video cameras!

I tell ya, the one thing
that's gonna drive me insane,

put me in the loony tune home,

I know when I'm 50 years
old I'm gonna love this.

Rick will be dead and
gone by then you know -

but I'll be sitting there
and watching them by myself.

Joking honey, I'm just joking.

I love ya, I love ya!

>> Rick: Getting off the phone
with Tami is now leading me

to go do something because
I'm so frustrating and I'm

so far away I can't
do anything about it.

So I'm gonna go get some
blow and smoke some blow.

It's a crazy evening.

Third of January, 1996.

Here in my hell hole.

>> Rick: Ahh, well
that's about all it takes.

A little trip down the old block

when you live next
to the projects.

I don't know what
sent me off this time.

I was nice and calm
until I talked to Tami.

Here we go.

Take these, which I doubt
you've ever seen before.

Pour one of them in
there, it's ready to go.

>> Rick:

>> Rick:

>> Tami: Today is
January twenty-second.

Dusty rolled over from
his back to his stomach.

>> Rick: Last night I
had a major breakdown.

Talked to the doctor
cried and cried.

Lot of childhood
memories are coming back.

It's very painful.

It's not memories it's feelings.

Feelings.

>> Tami: And also Ricky,
on the seventeen, January

woke up using the
potty all by himself.

>> Rick: I don't know what got
into me, but the last couple

of days of smoking that
cocaine, waking up at two

in the afternoon, pissed me off.

>> Tami: And tomorrow will
be January twenty-third.

Guess what that is?

Rick and Tami will have
made it to three years.

Phew. Seems like we
been married forever.

I don't know what
these people do

when they say 'oh we've been
married thirty five years'

that's a scary thought.

Very scary thought,
but it'll happen.

It's gonna happen.

We love each other too much.

>> Rick: I can't
be fucking around.

I got two kids.

Two great little boys.

And I plan to have more.

And I got an incredible wife.

>> Tami: Very proud of my boys.

Very very very proud.

All three of them.

That includes Rick, big Rick,
little Ricky, and Dusty.

>> Rick: This is what for seven
years now I've done basically

at least three nights
a week if not more.

>> Tami: Guess that's
it for the day.

Maybe. We'll see ya soon.

Adios, bye.

>> Rick: Yep, another fine day.

As you can see, the uh crew
can't get the door open here

to the van.

People think these
adventures are easy.

Everything goes wrong.

>> Rick: I ain't sayin shit
until we're fucking ready.

I'm tired of screaming.

>> Rick: Here it
is March 8, 1996.

We're doing the Inside
Adventure at Daytona Beach.

Today's the last
day of the shoot.

And it's kind of
a sad day in a way

but in a way it's
kind of a happy day.

This is our last
inside adventure to be

out in the field shooting.

The main thing is, is that I've
had a blast, I've learned a lot.

And what comes up in
the future who knows.

I says itis adventure
quest from now on.

>> Rick: Here we are.

Daddy drove 300 miles to
the Grand Canyon last night.

>> Ricky Jr.:
Daddy!

>> Rick: Boy are we enjoying
the Grand Canyon or what?

>> Tami: Sleepy.

>> Rick: Are you ready?

>> Tami: Yes.

>> Rick: I know.

I wanna get my earplugs,
and something to kind

of kill the pain, and
something that'll knock you

out for about fourteen hours-

>> Ricky Jr.: I want candy.

>> Rick: And you, some candy.

>> Rick: We spent all of
fifteen minutes at the Grand
Canyon today.

>> Tami: That's all
you need to see it

>> Rick: Nag nag nag nag nag

>> Tami: You're dad, I swear
we've had enough of each other.

It's time to split.

Break time.

>> Rick: Does that
mean we can date?

>> Tami: What?

>> Rick: Does that mean
we can date around?

>> Tami: Sure.

>> Rick: Does that mean
we can sleep around?

>> Tami: Sure.

>> Rick: Will you give me crap?

>> Tami: No cause I
can do it too, shit.

>> Rick: You would too,

>> Tami: So would you

>> Rick: I'd lie
about it and say I did

>> Tami: Bull.

>> Rick: Listen to your mother.

This is your mother talking,
someday you will see this tape.

You know it's momma.

>> Tami: What?

What do you mean
'you know it's momma'?

>> Rick: She's not
committed to Daddy.

>> Tami: You're the one-
No, I'm committed to my kids.

>> Rick: May first, 1996.

Then I got back, I got
the letter from Inside.

Dated the sixteenth,
right after that weekend.

'Terminated because
of non-diligent

and unfaithful service.'

That's the part that gets me.

>> Voicemail: Hey Rick, it's
Kip.

Um, yo uh y'know all I can tell
you, y'know, is call me ASAP.

Because, y'know, it can't go

down like this.

You owe me a lot of money.

And I want it y'know, I need it.

I can't afford to, uh, let
this slip by. Alright?

>> Rick: You shouldn't have
destroyed all my stuff.

>> Voicemail: I expect to
hear from you by Monday.

Good bye.

>> Voicemail: This
is Blockbuster video

at Coit and Legacy.

Just calling to let you
know you have two movies
still checked out under-

>> Rick: At least I'm
getting my office fixed

up the way I want it.

The good thing is, I'm no
longer employed with Inside
Edition.

That's a good thing?

I wouldn't have said
that five years ago.

And I'm a lot more
mentally healthy now.

Damn

>> Voicemail: Hey
Rick, this is Kip, uh,

checking in with you man.

Uh, this is ridiculous
that, uh, I'm getting things

in the mail saying you

haven't paid the
bills that I gave you

at the end you said you
were gonna take care of it.

And y'know you were
supposed to send me a check.

I put down all that
money for you..

>> Rick: Tensions are high

because I'm not used
to being home.

Been home for almost
three months now.

It's driving Tami crazy
because I don't know how to
take care

of the kids that well.

Drug problems on my part.

And it's killing her, and
it's really killing me.

I love Tami a lot
and I love these boys.

I love these boys.

Look at little Dusty.

Look at little Dusty
only ten months.

Yeah, Little Dusty
only ten months old.

And he got a little boo boo
from where Ricky hit him right
there.

You gonna get Ricky back?

You gonna get Ricky
the old one two?

Say pow pow pow pow pow, yeah
say ooh aah take that Ricky.

Boom bom bom bomm are
you gonna get him, hmm?

>> Rick: Here it is,
the end of June 96.

Been living at home in Dallas
for god knows how long...

What, four months.

And I'm off to get drugs.

Tami and I had a fight.

She closed my bank
account, she got,

she's hidden all
my credit cards.

I know she means well,
but it's left me feeling

like a worthless piece of shit.

Instead of building me up

and saying hey this
is day number one,

I'm off to smoke crack.

38 years old, I can't
believe I'm doing this.

>> Tami: And you'll get to see
daddy again, I promise, Okay.

You will.

>> Rick: Tell tell Ricky really
what you're doing here, momma.

Tell Ricky what you're doing.

>> Tami: Will you stop?

>> Rick: No I want
this on tape for him.

>> Tami: No I'm not talking.

>> Rick: What's wrong honey?

Let me tell you what's
going on Ricky.

>> Tami: No.
>> Rick: Why?

>> Tami: Don't you dare!
>> Rick: Why?

You're- Because you are
not telling the truth.

>> Rick: You are not taking
my children away from me

after conning me with my
father and with my best friend

>> Tami: You are full of it

>> Rick: to take me
for every dime I have

>> Tami: Ricky, come here.

Don't listen to daddy.

Don't listen to daddy

>> Rick: Ricky, you're momma is
trying to send daddy to jail.

>> Rick Jr.: I have a boogie.

>> Tami: I know
you have a boogie.

Let's get it out.

>> Rick: You're momma is
sending your dad away.

And that's the truth
and you should know it

and I want him to
know it someday.

>> Tami: Okay let,
let me tell it.

>> Rick: Go ahead.

>> Tami: Your mom has been
here through thick and thin.

Your dad is a crackhead.

And he has been gone all
night and sleeping all day.

What are the police here now?

>> Rick: Maybe they are?

>> Tami: So I'm
trying to protect us.

>> Rick: Now listen I
love you and I love you.

>> Tami: Daddy does love you

and momma would never
say that he didn't.

>> Rick: I love you but the
police are gonna take me away

because daddy has
a drug problem.

Ok? You're gonna go live with
papa and you're not gonna get

to see me and it's not
because I don't love you.

>> Tami: Will you stop rick?

Rick, the videotape is not
going to cover up what you have
done.

>> Rick: You stay out
of the office Tami.

>> Tami: What's wrong?

>> Rick: The- that tape is mine.

>> Tami: Don't forget
the baby is in my hand.

The baby is in my hand!

>> Rick: You stay
out of my office.

You've already stolen
enough things of mine.

>> Rick Jr.: Daddy?

>> Rick: It's ok little guy.

It's ok. Let me tell ya, child
support comes from what I earn.

If you put me in
jail I don't earn.

Do you understand that?

Do you want these kids to grow

up on a goddamn mobile
home in Terrell?

>> Tami: Sshh!

>> Rick: Th- then
use your brains.

Use your brains.

>> Tami: what?

I didn't interrupt he
threw the damn phone

and don't talk to me like that.

He threw the phone
down on the floor.

>> Rick: Let me talk to her.

Babette, in the conversation
she had with her sister,

her sister convinced her that
you and I were having a fling

and that you were on my side.

>> Tami: Oh bull.

>> Rick: I've got the tape.

I got it in my pocket.

That's what I fought her to get
to before she could get to it.

>> Rick: Tami don't go

in my office I'm
telling you right now.

>> Tami: I wasn't
in the first place.

What you gonna follow me around?

You scared?

>> Rick: No you're gonna
stay out of my damn office

>> Tami: Why you cursing?

>> Rick: You're going
in the other room

>> Tami: You're not gonna
be alone with my kids

so you can tell them your lies

>> Rick: I'm not gonna
be alone with your kids.

Honey I-

>> Tami: So you can sit there

and tell them what
you're telling me.

>> Rick: Let me- let
me tell you something.

When I heard on that fucking
recorder what you said,

you don't think that hurt me?

You don't think that
destroyed me?

That destroyed my life.

>> Tami: You
destroyed your own life.

>> Rick: How could you think
I'd molest one of my kids?

>> Rick: Here they come.

>> Tami: You gonna
videotape this?

>> Rick: Yeah, absolutely.

>> Police officer:
Your alarm went off.

>> Rick: Yes it did.

Come on in officer.

>> Police officer:
Everything ok?

>> Rick: Uh, not exactly.

Please step inside sir.

I'm Rick Kirkham.

We're having a a problem,
a family dispute here,

basically over a
phone conversation.

>> Tami: I pushed the
button so let me talk.

>> Police officer: Mr. Kirkham
I'll be glad to talk to you

when I'm through with her.

>> Rick: That's fine,
I have no problem.

>> Rick Jr.: Daddy?

>> Rick: Come here,
Listen to me,

I love you and you know I'll
come see you in a few days ok.

Now mama's gonna say
a lot of mean things

but they're not true alright.

Daddy loves ya and
he always loves ya.

Remember we're buddies, okay?

>> Rick: You tell papa
I'll see him later.

>> Rick: God, what is she doing?

My two little miracles
were taken away

from me with police force.

My two little miracles.

The End.

>> Rick: At what point, can
a person really, sanely,

consider themselves
perhaps a little insane.

They've lost a little
touch with reality.

I don't know.

>> Rick: Yeah.

I'm still sleep.

>> Tami: I was gonna
tell ya, they're gonna say

that I wrongly accused you.

>> Rick: Really?

>> Rick: I was just
talking about that.

>> Tami: I was tossing
and turning.

>> Rick: Huh.

>> Tami: Was in there tossing

and turning, tossing
and turning.

>> Rick: Come sit
down if you want to.

See, now we can both
be on .

>> Tami: Life fucking sucks.

>> Rick: I believe
I was speaking

about that a minute ago.

How just being good to Tami.

She's such a strong lady.

I'm very proud of you.

This is the lowest
we're gonna go, okay.

Ain't gonna be no
lower than this.

Remember, in sickness
and in health

in good times and bad times.

>> Tami: Trust me
I've been through that

in my head a million times.

>> Rick: Do you really love me?

>> Tami: Yes, why?

>> Rick: Even if
we lost this house?

And lost everything?

>> Tami: Yes.

>> Rick: And we're
forced to live

in a mobile home beside your
parents, would you love me?

>> Tami: Yes I'd love you.

I wouldn't be happy
but I'd love you.

>> Rick: That's all
I need to know, baby.

All I need to know.

My wife, I think ill keep her.

One in a million times
a man finds a woman

and becomes love at first sight.

And that's exactly what it
was, love at first sight.

>> Rick: Excuse me, do
you have an invitation?

>> Tami: I didn't know
you were standing there.

>> Rick: This is an
invitation only party.

Nah, sorry you don't
have an invitation?

This is for Dusty's birthday,

his first birthday
you can't come.

No invitation, you
aint comin' in.

No

>> Tami: Blow out the candle.

You gonna blow?

>> Rick Jr.: Yeah.

>> Tami: Ok, Dusty.

>> Tami: All right!

>> Tami: What's the matter?

It's ok, It's too overwhelming.

>> Rick: Yummy, yummy.

>> Rick: Did ya have a good
time at Dusty's first birthday?

>> Tami: Well of course I did

>> Rick: I did too.

>> Tami: First birthday
you weren't hungover at.

>> Rick: Oh haha hah.

Ha hah hah ha

>> Rick: What a good
life it's turning out to be.

Tami and I are getting along.

We're juggling bills
but we're gonna make it.

And, the back yard is
getting cleaned up.

I see you, I see you.

Anyway here we are.

August 22nd.

It's

amazing how things turn around.

Tami went and got those tapes,
came back, and handed 'em to me.

I handed her the tape of her
and her sister's conversation.

Since then, everything's
been fine.

There hasn't been this gut
feeling of not trusting I think.

Ugh, I'm gonna get a pig
nose now.

>> Tami: It's 8:50
in the morning.

Rick's not home.

He's got a lot of
building to do outside,

but for some reason
he wanted to go party.

And do his drugs.

Um, lets see.

I just don't let it
bother me anymore.

I just wanted it on record

that Mr. good guy is not
so good all the time.

Um, anyway..

>> Rick: Well here I gone
and screwed up again,

with the substance abuse.

Tami's just smiling and
happy when I came home.

The shame of sabotaging
everything is hurting me.

Got to focus, got to
find a way to focus.

'Cause I just can't control it.

>> Rick: This is babysitting.

It ain't bad.

I got to enjoy it.

And always always be prepared.

>> Rick Jr.: Stop don't smoke.

Don't do it.

>> Rick: What?

>> Tami- that gun.

>> Rick: I don't trust you,

im afraid youll kill
me in my sleep.

>> Tami: Will you be quiet?

You have a son here.

He's sitting here saying all
kinds of bad stuff in front

of Ricky, and Ricky's
sitting here listening

to everything he's saying.

>> Rick: Give me the phone.

>> Tami: Get your
hand away from me.

>> Rick: Give me the phone.

>> Tami: Get your
hand away from me

>> Rick: Give-

>> Tami: Get your
hand away from me.

Don't kick me or I will
turn you into the police.

>> Rick: Then don't kick at me.

>> Tami: Then leave me alone.
I am talking on the phone.

>> Ricky: Look what you started?

>> Tami: You started it.

Come here Ricky.

>> Rick: Do you realize
when you tell the police

that you struck me first
you're going to jail

>> Tami: I don't care.

and then they're gonna take
me to jail for hitting you.

And then they're taking the
kids to health services.

I did not hit you I threw
a piece of clothing at you.

>> Rick: The kids are gonna go
to a county facility you idiot.

>> Tami: You're the idiot.
>> Rick: Don't you know the law?

Don't you know the law?

>> Tami: I threw a
piece of Dusty's clothing

at him and he came up here-

>> Rick: -and hit me in
the eye with a metal clip.

>> Tami: just calm down
it's ok just give me the gun

and then I walked
away from the fight

and he started beating
the crap out of me.

>> Rick: Tell him tell him
him to call my mother who was

on the phone when you
hit me in the eye.

Tell him to call my mother

>> Tami: Get away from me.

>> Rick: Tell him to call my
mother who was on the phone

when you hit me with that
metal buckle in the eye

>> Tami: Ricky just
witnessed all of this.

>> Rick: I didn't do anything.

It fell over

>> Rick Jr.: Why'd
you knock it over?

>> Tami: I called the police.

>> Rick: It's because they know
all the false reports over here.

>> Rick Jr.: What did
you do to my mama?

>> Rick: I didn't do
anything to your mama Ricky.

Your mama hit me in the eye.

>> Tami: He told me that he'd
take the kids away from me.

He told me I'm a
bad mother and that

he's gonna take me to court
and get the kids away from me.

>> Rick: Honey I got
it all recorded on tape

after you said id never
see them again, ok?

>> Tami: I didn't say that.

>> Rick: You take
you take them away

where I wont see them again,
yes you'll never see them again.

>> Rick: I know.

Your mother's got
some mental problems.

>> Rick Jr.: Where you going?

>> Rick: Just out to the truck.

You wanna come out?

>> Rick Jr.: Yeah.

>> Tami: No

>> Rick: Leave him alone.

>> Tami: It's cold out there.

He'll get..

>> Rick Jr.: No my
mom don't want to.

>> Rick: Your mom or your dad?

>> Tami: My mom
and my dad is not...

Leave me alone Rick stop!

Stop!

>> Rick: What are you
doing with my phone?!

>> Tami: Give me that!

>> Rick: You tell your
side of the story.

You don't want no
other side told.

>> Rick: Don't worry about it.

I'm sure she's getting
ready to shoot me now.

She's calling the police
to take daddy away.

She broke-

>> Rick Jr.: Why'd you take
the phone away from my mama?

>> Rick: So I talked
to your grandpa.

>> Rick: Kenneth?

Hi, um there's been no problem
here and no violence other

than the fact that while
I was talking to my mom

and my mom was calming
me down, Tami came up

and slung a metal
buckle into my right eye

and blinded my right eye.

I freaked out, she started
kicking me, and yes- I did.

I hit her.

I apologize for it, you know

that that is not the
kind of person I am.

But when somebody
blindsides you from behind

and literally digs your eye
out it's a little painful

and all you do is react.

So you need to talk to her.
All right?

She's on the phone with the cops
right now.

I'm sure they'll be
arriving at any moment.

>> Rick Jr.: Is the police here?

Are they?

>> Rick: Yep. They're
here to take daddy away.

>> Rick Jr.: Why?

>> Rick: Come on in.
>> Police officer: Hi there.

>> Rick: Come on in, officer.

No weapons.

>> Police officer: Hi
buddy, how are you?

>> Rick: That's Ricky
by the way.

>> Police officer: Hi Ricky.

>> Rick: Just plain
ole police sticker.

Remember when you got into
the police car last week?

>> Police officer:
How are ya bud?

>> Rick: He's scared.

He's just seen a lot tonight.

>> Police officer: Ok

>> Rick: Come on
please, make yourself-

>> Police officer:
Is your wife in here?

>> Rick: No she's in my study.

Father and one with
her...

>> Male Police officer:
Why don't you talk

to this police officer
right here

>> Rick: Ok, let me- if I
can get a lighter please.

>> Female Police officer: If
you don't, If you don't mind-

>> Rick: Do you have a lighter?

>> Female Police officer:
No -

>> Rick: Ma'am I have
to have a cigarette.

>> Rick: I know, I've
gone through this

with a traffic cop before and
my wife told me I can't smoke.

>> Police officer: No sir,
right now I don't want you

to light that cigarette.

>> Rick: I'm going
to light a cigarette.

>> Police officer: Sir?

>> Rick: You don't
understand I'm

under medication I have
a doctor's prescription.

>> Police officer: Ok then
you shouldn't be smoking

but the point is-

>> Rick: My doctor will
you different.

>> Police officer: Rick.

>> Rick: Yes, sir?

>> Police officer: Just hold
on for a couple minutes.

>> Rick: I don't
mind smoking outside.

>> Rick Jr.: Mom's right here.

>> Police officer: What
where saying is we want you

to hold off smoking until we
get this- just have a seat

and we'll go from there..

>> Tami: I gotta
get off the phone

>> Rick: Tell em-

>> Police officer: Let me
look at the back of your head.

>> Rick: No in the eye.

>> Police officer: Oh ok

>> Rick: Right eye.

>> Police officer: Let
me see your other side.

Ok. Whereabouts in the eye.

>> Rick: Right in the eye.

>> Police officer:
Right in the eye?

>> Rick: Yes sir.

>> Police officer: Let me
look at your other eye there.

Ok and that was the only place
contact was made with you.

>> Rick: Yes sir,
that's correct.

Has it been cleared up as
to who threw the first blow?

>> Police officer: I've got her
her version of what happened.

>> Rick: Did she admit to
that is what I'm asking ya?

>> Police officer: I'm not
going to talk to you while
that's on.

>> Rick: Officer, this
this is a press camera

>> Police officer:
That's a Sony handicam.

>> Rick: Would you like
to see my current Dallas

police credentials?

>> Police officer: I don't
doubt that you have them.

>> Rick: Well then
this is a press camera

>> Police officer: At
this point you are,

are you in a working capacity?

>> Rick: Yes I am sir.

>> Police officer: In that
case as far as that's concerned

in a working condition
you can talk to our, uh,

public information officer.

>> Rick: Well, The
camera doesn't go off

and if you don't wanna answer
those questions then then go

ahead and do what
you have to do.

>> Police officer: Ok, then at
this point I need you to stand

up for me please and place
your hands behind your back.

>> Rick: Okay

>> Police officer:
We're gonna do this this

as easy as possible.

>> Rick: I have no
problem with this.

>> Police officer: Oh I,
you're being very cooperative.

>> Rick: Yeah but I wanna know
why why my children aren't being

placed in a protective custody.

>> Police officer: Let's go

>> Rick: My my wife
has a loaded handgun

and is not stable
and her own father

>> Police officer: No your wife
does not have a loaded handgun.

>> Rick: Her own father
said she should not have it.

Officer, I want my children held

under protective
custody from my wife.

She is not stable, understand?

>> Rick: Two weeks ago I
made a trip to Oklahoma city.

My purpose was to
go to St. Louis

and to confront and
kill my father.

I drove five hundred
miles, got there about

one in the morning and

set there with a 22 rifle and 2
gallon gas can trying to figure

out should I burn him down

or should I kill him
and get it over with?

>> Rick: I guess his telling
me that he didn't wanna give me

or loan me any money and maybe
I needed to lose everything

and live on the streets and

how he didn't wanna support
another woman meaning Tami.

He'd already supported two.

It made me realize that he's
not my dad, he's not my father.

Then I sat there with
a rifle loaded ready

to kill a man that I hate,

a man that's destroyed my
family and I just couldn't
do it.

I just couldn't do it.

But -

odds are, I may have to.

>> Rick: Dusty and
Ricky and Tami,

I guess the only reason
I make this recording is

because I don't want you to
think I made a mistake in life.

I know what I'm setting
myself up for.

I'm setting myself up to
die in the next few days.

I'm just fucked up in the head.

The last seven years or so
have just been so crazy.

I've just kind of lost my mind.

I just don't wanna live anymore.

>> Rick: Now who says an
intoxicated man can't go out

and blow out a little anger?

Whoa!

>> Rick: I wrecked
the jeep last night.

I've virtually destroyed
my life at this point.

Because of drugs, I've
lied to everybody I know.

It's not easy to sit
in front of this camera

and admit that that I've failed

in a big way.

I don't know what
happened to the old Rick.

But I guess, getting fired
from Inside has,

has hurt me a lot deeper
than I think or know.

I felt I'e gone down, I've
gone down as far as you can go.

But I love my kids
and I love my wife.

And I have to find a
way to salvage this.

And the only way I
can do it is bear down

and grit my teeth and do it.

It's never too late.

It's never too late.

>> Rick Jr.: Oh that's broke
because daddy crashed again.

>> Rick: Well tonight I go

into rehab hopefully this
wont be happening no more.

Jesus Christ.

>> Tami: Phew, it's
gone be a tough one.

But we're tough.

We are tough family.

We gotta get rick into
rehab, me out of school,

get rick a job, I get a job.

We gotta get our family ogether.

We're just going through
hard times right now

and it's gonna work out.

One way or the other.

>> Rick Jr.: Momma?

>> Tami: What?

What is it?

>> Rick Jr.: I want dad home?

>> Tami: You want what?

You want daddy to come home?

>> Tami: These precious
baby boys.

Precious.

Their lives are gonna
be destroyed

if their dad doesn't
straighten his act up.

We could have it all.

We have a beautiful family.

>> Rick Jr.: Momma?
What is it?

>> Tami: We could
just have it all.

>> Rick Jr.: What.
It's ok mama.

>> Tami: I know
sweetie I'm sorry.

Mom's just getting
a little emotional

because she loves
her family so much.

>> Rick: Daddy's slept on
concrete floors of jails,

jail cells, padded cells, um,

uh lumpy um bug infested uh
psycho ward cells suicide-watch

cells uh the, um,
mental hospital cells.

Sure was nice to sleep
at home last night.

>> Tami: We made it.

We're all together.

>> Rick: Barely.

But we made it.

>> Rick Jr.: momma?

>> Tami: Momma likes
this new man.

>> Rick: Happy thanksgiving
momma and all the kids.

Daddy's cooking.

>> Tami: Daddy made all
our breakfasts this morning.

>> Rick: Yeah daddy
made breakfast.

Is it good Ricky?

>> Tami: Mhm.

>> Daddy's making breakfast.

>> Rick: I just can't
believe we made it this far.

>> Tami: Why not?

>> Rick: Cause now I feel like

we're gonna no doubt
make it all the way.

>> Tami: Don't you wanna
count your blessings?

>> Rick: I'm counting 'em but
there's too many to count.

>> Rick: I don't
know why you kept me.

>> Tami: I love you

>> Rick: Why'd you go
through all that and stay?

>> Tami: Because I knew
this person right here was

in there somewhere.

We just had to find him.

>> Rick: Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

>> Rick: So Monday
January 20, 1997.

I'll tell you pain.

Pain is filling out the
papers to go bankrupt,

not having a job,
being two weeks away

from losing your house.

And just not knowing
what's gonna happen.

Being straight is a lot
more painful than hiding

from all your problems.

But you know what's been
bugging me more than anything?

I've cried a couple
times because a couple

of weeks ago Tami went to
buy Ricky's shoes and, um,

had to go to a second hand
store to buy him a pair of
shoes.

Less than two weeks from
being foreclosed on,

and Ricky is wearing someone
else's second hand shoes.

>> Voicemail: Hello Rick,
this is Cliff- General Manager

of K-TEN television
in Denison,Texas

>> Rick: I got the job.

Rick Kirkham, news
director, main anchorman

for K-TEN television,
Sherman Denison Texas.

I got the job.

>> Rick Jr.: My dad's the man.

>> Rick: April Fool's Day,
my first back day at work

>> Rick: I'll be back
in a little while.

Listen-

>> Rick Jr.: Don't leave me.

>> Rick: I'll be
back in a little bit.

>> Rick Jr.: You can't leave me.

>> Rick: Daddy's
gotta go to work.

I'll be back in a little bit.

>> Tami: Ssh, baby.

>> Anchorman: In case you just
tuned in a few minutes ago,

this is our new anchor and news
director here Rick Kirkham.

And welcome aboard.

>> Rick: thank you,
it's great to be here.

You know Allen and I worked
together fifteen years ago.

>> Anchorwoman: I know
I can't believe it.

You're dating yourself.

>> Rick: It's kind of- well we
were six years old at the time.

>> Anchorwoman: Right.

>> Tami: What's wrong honey?

>> Rick: Moving.

>> Tami: What are you moving?

>> Rick: Moving from
Plano to Pottsboro Texas.

>> Tami: Pottsboro, Texas?

That sounds like
a hillbilly place.

>> Rick: It is.

>> Rick: Hey family, we're
home for the first time.

Everybody ready to
go to our home.

Living a log cabin life.

>> Rick: What are ya doing?

Please do not flush
the toilet anymore.

>> Rick: How do you
like your log cabin?

>> Tami: I love my log cabin.

I feel like I'm in Arkansas.

>> Tami likes it and I like it.

If Tami likes it
then I really like it.

>> Tami: And the boys love it.

>> Rick: The boys love it.

The boys love it

>> Rick: Those are my
boys those are my boys.

The Kirkham boys.

>> Rick: Well I have to admit.

This is a little
hard to believe.

I've been news director
here in Denison Texas.

It's just so weird
being a news director.

I mean, it's weird enough
being a news anchor.

The senior news anchor but
being a news director is just
whoa.

I guess the greatest
thing about working here,

I got a bar downstairs.

Go down to the bar have a
few drinks come back up.

We joke so much on
set. It's so much fun.

This is the fun part I
guess in the news business.

Doing local television
in a smaller market

where you can get away
with murder and have fun.

I love it.

>> Rick: Well I haven't
made a videotape diary entry

in several months.

Life has been so fucked up.

I'm on a paid suspension,

after my boss asked
for my resignation.

Nine months into my job at
K-TEN as news director and
anchorman.

I don't even know if I can
be in this business anymore.

How can you be in the public
eye with a past like mine?

This shit is killing my wife.

It's absolutely killing Tami.

Our life is being
destroyed once again.

If I had a gun in my
hand, I'd sit right here

in this parking lot in Ricky's
school and blow my brains out.

Goddamn I wish I had
a gun right now just

to blow my freaking brains out.

>> Anchorwoman: Finally
tonight I know you know,

those of us here at Region 10
News regrettably bid farewell

to our news director and
my co-anchor Rick Kirkham

and Rick is in our control room,

and Rick I understand
you are off

to a new adventure
in your career.

>> Rick: That's right Ash it's
a little strange being on

this side of the camera.
>> Anchorwoman: I bet

>> Rick: As you know I've
been working on a book

over the last eight years
about my my eight or ten years

at Inside Edition as senior
correspondent and I kind of,

gotten away from that with
all the extra hours here

at Region 10 so I've
got to wrap that up

and get it to the publishers.

In addition of course
my little boys Ricky

and Dusty haven't seen a
whole lot of daddy lately.

Now they're gonna get to.

>> Anchorwoman: Well thank you
and I hope you'll come back

and visit and promise
me an autographed copy

of that book when it comes out.

>> Rick: You get the first copy.

>> Anchorwoman: Thanks Rick.

Good luck to you
and we'll miss you.

>> Rick: It's about ten
minutes to midnight.

December 31, 1997.

It's been a rough year,
not as bad as last year.

I can only hope that 1998 is
gonna be a lot better year.

Happy new year 1998,
my last year

>> Tami: Whooo.

Yeah, god.

What'd it do?

Squirt you all over the face?

>> Rick: Let's hope
98 is better than 97.

Happy New Year

>> Tami: Happy New Year.

>> Rick: I hope we're
together forever.

>> Tami: We will be.

It's on tape.

>> Rick: Last week, I think it
was how soon can I get away?

>> Rick: Alright baby.

>> Tami: Today is
all that matters.

>> Rick: '97 is history.

Let's go inside and start '98.

>> Tami: K, Let's get warm.

>> Rick: Long Saturday.

I'm just sitting here battling,
man, to either go do drugs

or fight this and stay
here and not do anything.

And I hate it.

I mean it's like everything
inside of your fucking gut,

everything in your
soul you fight it.

I fucking hate this.

I hate it.

>> Rick: It's like, at this
point all you do is hope

that you don't fucking end
up going back for more.

Pray to god you don't
go back for more.

>> Rick: The bottom
line is, ok I fell.

But I didn't fall bad.

I cannot remember a time
in the last fifteen years

that I didn't go back
for more for a second.

So I'm all right.

I shouldn't drank that much, I
shouldn't have got that excited,

I shouldn't have
been that lonely.

All the triggers fired.

And I, I see that.

But I fought it,

I buried my head in a
pillow, and I didn't go back.

>> Rick: Figuring out the
answer will never bring my
career back,

it'll never bring my wife back,

my money my cars
my fame my fortune.

I'll never have it again.

But it has brought me
six years of being clean.

It has also given me
back, the very thing

that helped me get clean
in the first place.

These are my sons
Ricky and Dusty.

Their mother, my former
wife, also honors me

by sitting amongst you
today along with my sons.

I promise you from experience,
life isn't worth living

with substance abuse,
but the good news is,

it is never too late
to turn it all around.

Congratulations.

>> Rick: Here you hold that.

>> Dusty: I'll be
taking pictures of daddy.

>> Rick: Ok.

You do that.

Thank you, you little wild man.

>> Dusty: Here ya go.

>> Rick: Oh yeah here
you go, here's your coke.

>> Dusty: Thank you

>> Rick: I'll trade ya.

Thank you.

>> Rick: Ok, Ricky
crawl back in here.

Gonna get cold out there.

Gotta stay good, we
don't wanna get sick.

>> Rick: If I had one wish,
on this Christmas Eve,

it would be to go back to 1993
and come out of that rehab

and truly have learned
my lesson of drugs.

I just wish that my
family had made it-

that that one marriage,
one wife, the two kids,

maybe a third, that
we had made it.

If I could go back in time and
know what the drugs had done

to me and what the
fame had done to me and

all the money I was
making had done to me.

I would have done
everything different.

Everything I would
have done differently.