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You know, back when I was with the department, every so often you'd find

yourself, um, burying your nose in something, uh,

interesting, let's say. And so you'd drag it back to the precinct

and it would just disappear.

Typically, there's a series of nasty coincidences without

explanation. Money's pretty good that, uh, it's a part of something you're

not supposed to understand.

(static)

(ominous music) (camera zooming) We

have some breaking news right now. The Boston PD is

investigating after a body was found on the side of the Charles River.

A man's body pulled from the Charles River. A body found in Boston's Charles

River. They recovered a man's body from the Charles River.

Detectives are on the scene at the Charles River...

where a body was pulled from the water late this afternoon.

Now to us live in

particular,

Andrea Messina...

(dramatic music)

Do you ever go fishing with your dad? Did I ever go fishing with my

dad?

One of the most wholesome things a boy can do is go fishing

with his

dad.

(dramatic music)

We're live on WFORC TV, bringing you this breaking news story right now.

We're standing in front of the Kenmore Square exit.

If you just look to our left went on, there's the playground and right off here,

in the Charles River, uh, a man's body was found partially submerged along the

riverbank.

(police sirens).

(instrumental music)

(camera snapping)

Justin. Fuck! What the fuck? You guys just

ditched me back there. Where were you? I was just at the bar getting a tray of

shots and when I came back, you were gone. Um, did Jen tell you we were going

to Frank's boat ramp? No. What'd she say? Justin. Hold

on, Jen wants to speak with you. You should come suck dick with

us.

The son of Amari Cosmetics founder, Catherine Amari,

went missing nearly a year ago. The police don't

care, but I do.

Because her net worth is 18 million. Mr.

Rathke, I'm not under any illusion that my son is

guaranteed to be found alive. But if that's the

case, (tense music) I wanna know what happened, and I

wanna know who's responsible. Well, listen,

Catherine. You got nothing to worry about. This is the majority of the cases that I

deal with. 82% of the time when a kid like Justin goes missing,

he's usually just out of state with a friend, maybe doing something he shouldn't

be doing, but alive. What about

the other 18%?

Dead.

Makes me sick. Makes me want to

hurl.

(retches) Sorry. (laughs) I'm sure

that's not the case.

Um...

(ominous music)

Rathke. German maybe? To be honest with you,

it sounds made up, like a character from a Chandler

novel. Liet Hotel of

Tremont.

(phone dings) You're gonna give me five stars. You're gonna give me five

stars. You're gonna give me five stars. You're gonna give me five

stars.

Oops. What's up, man? Why are we

moving? Do I gotta hit the app or something?

Name's Ian, right? We know each

other? Phone's at Ridge, but you're Ian

Savaris.

(clicks tongue) Devlin Caberra.

We took a class together at Parklands Regional. And it was only a semester,

but I never forget a face and, uh, I think the last time I saw you

was, uh, graduation.

Were you one of the retarded kids?

(ominous music) Like any good artist, the

Charles River Killer had his period of stumbling, his years of tee-ball before

finally breaking through and earning authoritative third-party observation.

Dylan Larson may have been his first victim, but the only thing that counts in

the eyes of the national stage will be Dennis Norseland and everyone that comes

after.

(ominous music)

(phone dings)

Justin's meds have been causing him to, uh, act out.

(phone dings) For real this time? Or are you just sick of fucking

him?

I'm right outside. Did you... All right. I'll meet

you in there.

(footsteps)

Your brother phoned the other night. He wanted to know whether

you were coming home for Christmas. What's it matter to him?

He's still got seven to 12.

I suppose maybe he'd like to know if there's still some semblance

of functionality in our family.

Well, I, I promised Trish I'd go to his union Christmas party,

so... Union?

Carpenter? (laughs) He does, like, kids'

birthday parties. How about New Year's? I got

plans. Was gonna get dinner from Professor Zieger and then go to some bars with some

friends afterwards, so. Are you ever gonna come home?

(laughs)

You're missed around here, you

know? Yo,

what the fuck was with all that noise last night? S-

sorry. It's my... my meds were making me hallucinate these little

orby things. You sure you weren't on

acid?

You going out tonight? Yeah. All right. Look, I'm gonna be in

P-town for a couple of weeks. I got some parties lined up.

And stay the fuck out of my bedroom this time. Last time I gave you the keys to the

house, I came home, there was green and yellow stains all over my pillows.

Enough of that shit. Are you

sure that wasn't grease paint? Don't get fucking smart with me.

(cheering)

How do we even know it's working? I feel like a fucking guinea pig.

As long as you're taking your recommended dosage, there should be nothing

wrong.

Janine is one of the top psychiatrists in all of New England.

I wouldn't send you to her if she wasn't

effective.

She hasn't helped me in the slightest.

Fine. No more

therapy. The only

therapy you need is

self-care.

(exhales) The only way you'll ever forgive your father is if you

fuck. I want to watch.

(sighs)

Your TaxiGo driver is in the area. Estimated wait time,

16 minutes.

Is

somebody there?

(wind blowing)

(eerie music playing)

(gasps) (knife cutting) (screams) (music plays) Oh,

shit. Oh, you son of a

...

(instrumental music playing)

(keyboard typing) You fat bitch.

Come on, you fat bitch.

(instrumental music playing)

Shit. (keyboard typing)

(instrumental music playing) No, it doesn't sound

right. Say, "Hey book," Mari Party sale. Say, "Hey book," Mari Party

sale. Say, "Hey book," Mari Party sale.

Mario Party. Say, "Hey book." Say, "Hey

book." Say, "He-it's-a me, Mario."

Yoon He Kim, long-distance girlfriend of two

years. The worst thing about

her. I came across her on a dating

website. She had a statistic on her

profile, a cute throwaway line. "I know 71%

of all online dating matches wind up in failure and breakups,

so at least make your pickup line something to remember." That let me know

it through a search engine until I found her Instagram.

I friended what appeared to be distant acquaintances of hers...

the polite follows that come after forgettable meetings.

It was important to make it seem as if we had overlapping circles.

I then studied her posts and made a list of all her local haunts.

I proceeded to visit two of these places and posted from there.

One month later, I followed her. She didn't follow me back right away,

so I had to reply to a couple of her stories with,

like, a thumbs up emoji and the, the sunglasses guy and the blushing fa...

Listen, it was very degrading behavior, but it worked.

I engineered a meeting for coffee at her second favorite cafe in Flushing not long

after that. It was three blocks from her apartment. We started

dating nine days after that. I don't want you to

take this the wrong way. And I'm not doubting that you want us to live

together. But when you can't get the most basic phrases down,

it just makes me feel skeptical that you

actually wanna move here. I'm learning. I got most of the main phrases down.

I got (Chineseeo). I got, (Chinese). I gotta use the bathroom,

nailed that. The... I... New Year's Eve is once a year

anyway. Okay. Babe, I wish I could let you see

out my window right now. It is disgusting. There's nothing about New York that is

clean, that's hygienic. The rats have more social prowess than the people do.

It's horrible. I don't wanna spend another second here if I have the

choice. I know. I keep telling myself

that, but do you at least see where I'm coming from?

Babe, you have to know how bad I wanna be there with you.

How was your New Year's Eve? Was it good? Uh, Hannah and her boyfriend had plans,

so only Hannah and Preston came out.

I don't like that that guy was hanging out with you.

Wait, Preston? Don't hang with that guy. He's a creep.

I saw it, I saw it in his face when he showed me his picture that one time in

that group photo. He's up to no good. He's not a good guy.

He's a bad guy. You should cut him from the group.

Don't say anything to him either. Just stop inviting him.

Don't invite him to dinner. Don't invite him to drinks.

He's dead. He's dead to both of us. We'll be stronger without

him. You and your friends and me.

Uh, yeah, I'll, I'll block his number as soon as we get off the

call. But he's not really my friend. He's

Hannah's. Bad news. Bad news, that fella.

(scissors snipping) Oh, no. I liked the hat. This

girl, the love of my life, if you will,

has a home in Queens, a home in Seoul,

wealthy parents. She is my heart out,

an escape hatch for when the waters get too

troubled. Somewhere in my

bones, I can feel that time is coming

soon.

I think the last time I saw you was, uh, graduation.

Right. Listen, um, uh, I got a fake name on the app,

too. They don't even card us. Devlin

Cabrera? We went to high school together,

yeah. Yeah.

It's... It's okay if you don't remember me. Devlin

Green. Devlin Green. De-Devlin Cabrera. Devlin, listen.

I'm really enjoying our camaraderie here. It's like I'm getting to know you for the

first time all over again. And I know I didn't go to my 10-year high school

reunion, but listen, I'm a man who chews a lot of gum.

And gum typically, when it's sugar free, and that's what I like,

it has a certain kind of alcohol in it that makes one's intestines very

excitable. So, to spare you the vulgar details, and I think you know where I'm

going with this, get us moving, I'd really appreciate that.

Y- you live in Germantown. You live in Germantown, right?

Jesus, Devlin. What do I got, a fucking Wikipedia

page?

Uh, here's my personal number in case you wanna, you know,

grab something to eat or something to drink, or just wanna catch up.

Noted. Thank you. Ta-ta. Uh, Ian, uh,

Rafky or-Yeah... whatever you go by now.

I, uh, I wanted to ask you, what, what's with the

alias?

I'm undercover, Devlin. I'm an undercover cop. What about you?

What, what's with your nickname? At the end of every eighth

week, I start feeling an unusual sensation around my

pelvis. I think it's my body starting to remember that it

hasn't indulged your satisfaction for a

while. I try to stave it off as long as I

can. Feeding my own impulses

isn't very helpful. My metabolism has

fallen a big 44 in a month. I start

wondering if my life handles just open moments of

intimacy. These thoughts prove being my worst

nightmares. When I used to fight, I would take

extreme precaution. I

used to drive as far as I could in the night to feel like I earned

it. In New

Jersey, they call me Mr. Upstroke. In Washington,

they call me The Woodsman. (eerie music plays) In

Massachusetts, they call me something else.

I, I don't like any of the names. Francis doesn't half my problem.

Maybe they did a long time ago. I started wondering if that's how I

would've

checked during my

retirement, an old man who needs someone else to do the fun

part. I can

feel

their toes

and fingers. I go by Devlin Green 'cause (snaps fingers) I got

green.

(car door opens) Fucking fagget.

(instrumental music plays)

The coroner report said that Justin's throat had been torn apart by a 5 1/2-inch

blade. That was well over the legal limit to be purchased in

Massachusetts. Between that and the intensity of the

murder, I assumed the killer was somebody intimately close to Justin,

but from out of town. (05:11.000) (instrumental music plays) So I directed

my attention to his brother, Ivan. He had a criminal track record that would

fit: a penchant for drugs, violence, and sex crimes.

(car door opens) And look, I've never had a brother,

but I'd imagine a lot of what having a brother entails is,

you know, jumping up and down on beds, dogs flopping about,

trading secrets. It seems rather

erotic. (techno music plays) So this old guy walks into my job

today, and not even 20 seconds passed when he was standing in line,

waiting to get seated, and he starts barking orders at me like I'm his fucking

kid, telling me he wants a cheese hamburger. Bastard.

(water running) I told him, I said, "Bro, I'm not your server." (computer sound)

"Your fucking server is gonna meet you at your table once you're seated." I mean,

you don't just walk into a restaurant and start demanding shit when there's a

fucking wait list. You see me standing in front of the fucking door.

I don't have plates in my hand. This is fucking Applebee's,

not the Chateau Marmont.

(singing)

(kicks door) (thumping)

Mom still talking shit about me?

Oh, just about all the time. I wanted

to knock those fucking dishes out his face.

(sizzling) Would he have a motive for killing Justin?

If he was under the influence of a Class A substance, would he need one?

There's just one big problem to this theory. Ivan's home address

was Rikers. (instrumental music plays) W- w-w-well,

you see, your brother was sleeping with this guy.

Yeah, look who the fuck I am.

(dial tone)

(door slams)

(bell tolling) Man, tell these folks! (door slams)

(instrumental music plays)

The myth of the (pop sound) Charles River Killer (spring boings) has plagued the

city of Boston for nearly a decade. Who was he?

What was his motive? And why were the police so dismissive of foul

play? We won't be learning the answers to these questions

anytime soon. No, our story today runs

parallel to that of the Charles River killings. Ian

Savarez was a con man, a womanizer,

abuser, and just a downright nasty fella.

This man, known by the alias Richard Rathke to those

closest, would bilk nearly

$100,000-Nobody respects heroes anymore.

(keyboard clicking)... to form a criminal confederacy, and even convince a former

beat cop with his own troubled history that he was qualified to become a

...

(instrumental music plays)

How'd you break the news to Will that you were

leaving?

Babe? My father actually owned this building for 22

years. Back in the '80s, he sold about three-quarters of the space to some

Koreans. If he'd held onto it, imagine, he would've died a little more

comfortably, a little more weight in his wallet. Instead,

cancer's what got him to be a pile of ash in a Bronx

one-bedroom. You're gonna see a much more diverse cast of

characters in Flushing than you would in suburban Massachusetts.

Is that our clientele? No, they're all white.

(instrumental music plays) Evans, a

40-something-year-old bachelor. (key clicks) Tell me you're good at

keeping secrets without telling me you're good at keeping secrets.

Listen, Mr. Evans-Don't do

that. That's gross. Just Evans.

Listen, Evans. Evans. Evans.

Will. Gross. Just

Evans. Evans, if you need me to sit in a parked car and

stalk your cheating husband for a couple of hours,

I can do that. (helicopter roaring) Uh, honey, someone's

blasting their high beams in our dining room. If I gotta go down to the local dog

park and find a missing beagle, I'm in on that, too.

I just need... I just need

something. Listen, don't

get ahead of yourself there, Nancy Drew. All right?

All because you grow a little Tom Selleck doesn't make you Magnum P.I.

What I do here, Rathke, it's not glamorous. You're not gonna

have some gorgeous dame saunter through the door and need a

hero. What you're gonna deal with is a lot of bleeding

hearts. I'm, uh, unfortunately calling to have my,

uh, daughter looked into. Feigning sympathy, building a web of

false hope. She had a date, but...

That's the business model. What I took for granted was

that Evans was also a cop.

His no-bullshit personality meant that I wouldn't be walking away with a job

without sacrificing a couple of truths to earn his respect and trust.

You smoke? Hmm. (lighter sparking) Hey,

Will, I burn through about two packs a day.

Let's talk about you. Rathke.

It's German maybe? To tell you the truth,

it sounds made up, like a character

from a Chandler novel.

What I'm really wondering is, what a man your age is doing with a fake

ID? (tense music) If we're gonna

make this work, (door squeaking) I need to

know. What is

Richard Rathke running from? I mean, at the

moment, I'm just kinda looking out for some Dog the Bounty Hunter type work.

Dog the Bounty Hunter?

What do you like to eat? Yeah, my favorite food's

pussy.

(computer dinging) (tape fast forwarding) Jesus.

I'm gonna reach out to a contact within the PD.

If there is a warrant out, it's probably registered inactive by now

if the birthday on your ID is correct. Well, close enough.

If the warrant is active, I'm going to advise that you turn yourself in.

If you choose not to do that, this conversation never happened.

Last thing I gotta know, what the fuck

makes you think someone like you could be a detective?

I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, "Did he fire six shots or only

five?"

(laughs) (gun firing) As the hours pass, I will let you

know. That I need to ask before I'm alone. How it feels

to rest on your patient lips. To eternal bliss, I'm so

glad to know. As the hours pass, I will let you know.

That I need to ask before I'm alone. How it feels to rest

on your patient lips. To eternal bliss, I'm so glad to know.

Well, another year down for Evans and Rathke

Investigations. With our luck, it's about to be our

last. If we had any sense about us.

Hey, shouldn't you be with your woman? She's in Seoul.

Still? She moved there in February. Ah,

fuck. Well, time is

fleeting, Rich. Remember that. Time is

fleeting. (tense music) At the current

moment, I'm only able to give you a temporary passport card.

You're pulling my leg right now, right? You give me a month.

I want the money today. How about this? I give you

50%, so you're getting $2,500 back. And I'm gonna get the rest by the

end of the month? What do you mean the rest? The rest-The passport book and the

fucking license. Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, all day, bro.

You're gonna get that all day, bro. As soon as all that stuff's ready to go,

bro. Do you drink? No. You, you, you smoke? You don't do nothing?

No. What's your poison? Everybody got a poison. Water.

Water? You don't look like a water drinker. Come on,

what's your real poison, bro? Tell me what your poison is.

Let's see the card.

(tense music)

(suspenseful music) (cocks gun)Did you Photoshop my

face onto somebody's head? My dude, I'm not trying to steer you wrong.

I already told you the whole gist of my operations and everything like that,

bro. On MySpace. I'm not gonna do you dirty, bro.

I gave you a picture. It looks basically the same,

bro. It does not look the same. Nobody's gonna notice.

I just fucking noticed. Yeah. You noticed because you're that dude.

Like, I'm trying to help you out. Like, I just gave you a

discount. You fucking scammed me. We're only

gonna take half. So you scammed me? You're, you're-No.

...scamming me right now? Are you... That, yeah,

that's what you're saying right now, is you-Listen.

...fucking took my money and you're giving me something I didn't ask for.

Bro, bro. No. Stop. Listen. Like, I'm not trying to do you dirty,

bro.

When I struck out on Ivan, I took the next logical step in my

investigation, outsourcing help from the World Wide

Web.

QHolyRoller666. His history on the news

aggregation website Ipso told me he wasn't one for spreading

bullshit. He was, however, one for sharing pictures of

his asshole on the Steven Universe sub forum. But he was the only person to reach

out to talk. I mean, what am I supposed to say? No?

There's members of the police force, the local government.

It's a network of people on the take. They

got me on this kid right now, young guy, about 20,

21. They are leaping into a momentous year,

Harlan. The team at Lexival has been so pleased with the results of

our trials that they will be sponsoring the young men's retreat next

spring. Now, the student I've told you about, Gerald,

he is someone that would benefit greatly under your wing.

He is a lot like you, similar troubles. Have you made an effort to reach out

to him? Not yet. You told me you loved me,

Harlan. You told me you'd do anything I asked of

you. Maybe I shouldn't be getting into this over the phone.

A lot of what you're saying here sounds very

intense. How about this, Radke? The district

attorney and the city health commissioner nudged the last chief medical examiner

into retirement a year before these disappearances made the news.

Some of these parents had autopsies performed out of

state. Figure out what the other forensic pathologists

think. I'm gonna be heading to Boston in a couple of weeks if you'd like to meet up

and maybe get into what you didn't discuss over the phone today.

Hey, Gerald. Yeah. You think I can get a

pass? A pass for what?

You know. Yeah, let's touch base around

then. You know, I'm really starting to think

there might be something to this Charles River Killer theory.

And hey, I'm as skeptical as they come. But I ordered some back catalog

issues of Midtown Herald off of eBay. There's a couple of pieces from Michael

Knife in there from about four or five years back.

They ran a sketch composite of their leading suspect.

Take a look at our man. Doesn't really look American to me.

Asian. Right. Arab. Great. If I squint my eyes real

tight, Mexican. It's funny though. I was

thinking about it the other day. If it was a white guy,

think back to Jeffrey Dahmer. Used to like to suck and fuck black

people. (laughs) Probably wanted to expand his taste in that regard.

He likes athletic, sexually ambiguous white boys from out of

town. That's a pretty nasty cough,

Will. You don't seem all that convinced.

Listen. Mitch? I'm sick.

Let's call this making the best of a bad situation. You got some crud on your face

here.

Trying to remain anonymous as, uh, as we continue to look into the Charles River,

uh, killings Our man is between the age of 35 and

60 years old. 60's a little too geriatrically persuasive to a 20

to 25 year old college student, so let's say 45.

He's 45 years old. That's old enough for them to satisfy whatever daddy issues

they might have. They're trying to relive childhood trauma.

Our guy is a salesman. When he goes out, he knows who his customer

is. He's got a script and that script has a remarkable turnover rate.

He's got their behavioral pattern down pat. All right.

I'll see you.

He's kind of OCD. Likes the same flavor ice cream every time.

Athletic, academic. Non-native to

Boston. Emotionally

disturbed.

There has to be some way that he's vetting them.

And it ain't a dating app. There would be way too much evidence for the dating app.

You don't trust who you're dating. Who do you trust before you

even look them in the eye?

Doctor? Bartender?

(bell ringing)

A waiter? No. Too many stories about straight pubic

hairs. Cab

driver?

(suspenseful music) There's something about these boys

that is communicating to him that they want to be murdered.

(wind blowing)

(coffee boiling)

They gonna send you to Miami? (coffee boiling) I got the phone call

yesterday. (tense music) (people chattering) That's not

good. No shit.

(people chattering) What are you gonna

do? Tsk. (water splashing) (tense music) I don't

know yet. I'm struggling to rationalize

why they'd retire you. They're weeding

out the guys like us. (people chattering) (tense music) Tall

guys? (people chattering) (lunchroom equipment clanging) Hockney got

his walking papers when Stamford dried up. The motel he cleaned,

there was... He's probably still digging chunks of his skull out of the

wall. (people chattering) Why did you come to

lunch today, Richard? (tense music)

(lunchroom equipment clanging)

The city is... The city's falling apart.

We're disposable. Much more than we

thought.

(people chattering)

(tense music) I love

you.

(glasses clinking)

. (drinks swallowing) I said I love you.

Stop. That's

weird.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh,

what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Jingle

bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

(footsteps) Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

(footsteps)

(dramatic music)

(wind blowing)

(piano music) So I was coming back from New Hampshire with my friend,

Eddie. Eddie had this little gag he used to like to pull at parties where he'd find

the biggest hunk, the biggest stud. And when that guy would fall asleep or he'd

knock out, pull his pants down and suck his dick.

Make him look gay in front of the whole, whole crowd.

But I was coming back from this party with Eddie, and Eddie was notoriously a

hothead. This is why I unfriended him on Facebook, as a matter fact.

(piano music) Hey, um, Rich. What? What's up?

You got something to say?

(piano music)

They told me I have cancer.

(suspenseful music) Uh, they, um, they diagnosed me a

few weeks back. You might not have noticed, but I,

I haven't been around the office that much. It's because I've been out getting

tests run.

(piano music)

Do you know how many times I've had heartburn and thought that could be lung

cancer from all the cigarettes we smoke around here?

They found three spots on my

left lung, and

it's stage III.

(piano music)

Stage III means it's spread, Detective.

And they found a lump in my

chest tissue. Your chest

tissue? So

you're, you're saying you have breast cancer?

My lungs, Rich. My lungs. And it

happened to spread to my chest tissue.

What, like a new titty? Are you

fucking retarded? I just told you I have stage III lung

cancer. Stage III lung

cancer. And for the sake

of our friendship and our business, I should let you

know, I'm considering options.

But it looks like this is probably it.

What the fuck are you talking about? When my

father died, he was at

120 pounds. He looked like a hairless

rat. No.

No. I'm not doing that.

Well, if you're sick, and hey, you might not be sick,

you gotta get treatment. There's so much on the line.

You're not even 50 yet. Will you say what you really

mean? What? That if I die,

you're up shit's creek. Yeah, I'm up shit's creek.

Fine, you're right. But you're my

friend.

(instrumental music plays)

(machine beeps)

(computer sounds)

(crows cawing) Now, Mr. Fitzgerald, I would never typically ask a question

like this to anybody, but my boss at the Boston Globe really has me on the hook

here. Would you describe your relationship with Justin as a platonic one,

or were you guys getting up to the old, you know,

sucking, fucking, eating each other out? Justin was just renting out the bottom

room since his boyfriend gave him the boot. I mean,

I was polite to the kid, you know, we were friends. He just had his own shit going

on. Okay, if that's your

story. Have you rented out the basement since? No,

I don't even go down there, man. It bums me out.

Gives me spooky vibes. That's perfectly understandable.

Would you mind if I go and take a look? Yeah, actually,

I do fucking mind. Listen pal, if you've got something to hide down there,

I don't really give a shit. No, I got nothing to hide,

I just don't fucking know you, bro.

What if I show you my cock? Bro, I don't know

you.

(instrumental music plays)

Feeling glum? Feeling blue? Lexaval is here for you.

Clinical trials may be coming to your region. Visit our website.

I'm not lying. Tie that shit to the end of my barrel.

Put your mouth on it. Put your mouth on it! No.

I said fucking suck it. Suck it like a pee pee.

Suck it. Suck it. Suck it like a pee pee. Suck it like

a pee pee. Before you do what you're about to do,

you

have my word.

(instrumental music plays)

This feels a little light. Do you think that rideshare

sticker on my car is only for rat gay? When a young man is

not so young, he often fails to see the enormity of life

that awaits him.

Suck it like a pee

pee.

(doorbell) Going down.

(instrumental music plays)

Uh, hi, I'd like to book an appointment today with Jeanine Hanlon,

the name's Richard Phat.

Uh, sorry, Jeanine actually, um, she passed

away. She passed

away? Listen, I don't mean to be intrusive, that's just not the news I was

expecting to hear today. Wh-what happened, what'd she pass away from?

She had, um, cirrhosis of the liver.

Now is this like a suspicious cirrhosis of the liver?

I don't mind that we just met. We went walking

through the internet. I came close but never... You know,

when I gave you my number, it was so that we can link up and hang

out. Isn't that what we're doing?

Two grown men enjoying one another's company?

What do you want me to give you a bath? Hey, listen,

I'm sorry I ran off impromptu last night. I had an urgent phone call to make.

You don't have to apologize, man. I get it. I know that not everyone's gonna be

enthralled when I tell them about my work. Dude, it's not even like that.

All right? What do you think, I'm a liar? You think I just lied to you,

Devlin? I lie to my friends? Is that the kind of guy I am?

No, I don't. I'm just saying, you know, if that's the case,

I'm not offended by

it.

I know I'm being a pain in the ass, but is it just drugs or you got breath mints in

this car too?

Thanks, buddy.

(instrumental music plays)

You're gonna give me five stars. You're gonna give me five stars.

You're gonna give me five stars. Fucking faggot.

Being a detective means trusting that your assumptions are not off-base,

that the things that you consider observations are not illusions sprung from

neurosis. That's something that Will instilled in

me.

(instrumental music plays)

(door creaks)

(door closes)

Fuck. (door creaks) You're

pissing your life away on something that doesn't need to involve

you. I suggest you drop this. And if

you're adamant to make real money, send Ms. Carey a letter of

apology.

(knocking on door) Can't hear them, someone was

here.

Only smells of myself wafting dead

skin.

(instrumental music plays)

(laughs) (electronic music plays) (electronic sounds) (gags)

Lexivon is here for you.

(instrumental music plays)

I've been, I guess what you could call a groomer.

What? I was theater actor though, you know? Like,

I, like I-I've been in plays,

man.

(chokes) What the

fuck? It's, it's $11,000 a year (coughs) to

act like I'm seeking treatment. (coughs) And I befriend these kids,

but after a while, I just quit hearing from

'em. What did they do to him?

(instrumental music plays) It's the pharmaceutical groups run through the

universities.

They're turning abuse victims into guinea

pigs. Fuckers. They're after Owens,

right? It's

Amari. Amari wasn't my

guy. (groans) Let me give you this.

He was fucking that kid. (groans)

Fucking?

Maybe you can use that to shake him down. Listen, I leave for

Ocala at sundown. I gotta get the fuck outta Dodge.

I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know if you're gonna close this deal out where

I have to. (coughs)

(groans) Did you piss yourself?

I gotta play with my dick. I got... I'm sorry, I gotta play with my

dick. Lily,

come here. Come here.

(instrumental music) The Associate is my baby mother,

bro. You wanna know who's making your passport cards right now?

My children. You know what my kids do? Let me give you a rundown on what my kids do,

bro. They wake up at six o'clock in the morning, they're making

passports. I homeschool them. What do you think they're doing during

lunchtime? Free time? Or any time they get that's free?

They're making passports. You think they're hanging out with their friends?

No. You wanna know who their friends are? The stapler.

I have my whole fucking family invested in this shit,

for crying out loud.

Hey, you know who I saw the other

day? Who? Carl Glover. (laughs) The gay guy who thought his husband was a

hitman. He decided to show up at the office while one of the renters was

using the space for an SA meeting. I'm gonna brush up on his case file

once I'm done with this Amari thing.

(instrumental music) What, do you need another grocery run?

Yeah.

(laughs)

Yeah, I get it. It was a shit storm. It's not a

joke.

Why don't I just buy you a brick of heroin then? You can do yourself in that way.

Imagine I come around investigating a cancer patient who died of a heart

attack. It'll be painful. (coughs) It'll be

quick.

(coughs) I took a stab at chemo for you, Rich.

But I've, I've had enough. I don't wanna

hassle you with no more cases.

Just, just enough.

(instrumental music)

(phone vibrating) Oh, Jesus. Yo, if you're looking for the

passport, I ain't got it right now. It's been months.

Bro, I get that all day every day, but it's getting really annoying,

you blowing up my phone like this, dude. You took my money.

And I get that, but do you think I'm dicking you around,

playing hopscotch or fucking candleman with your shit?

No. I told you, when I got you, I got you, point blank

period. God. Look, if there's anything you need in the meantime,

you say the word. Just say the word. Some black market Tylenol.

You just say the word. Ecstasy, a Filipino. Just...

Say the word and I got you, bro. Actually, you know what?

Maybe there is something you can get from me. Aight.

Bet. Let's play ball, my

brother.

(instrumental music)

What do you need these for? I'm depressed.

Hm. These were not an easy find, my friend.

I don't need a full bag, I only need one.

Just one? It's not just one. It's you buy the whole pack or you don't

buy anything at all, bro. You knew

that.

All right. Have it your way. (car door opening) Man,

you stupid motherfucker! You trusted me? You shouldn't have,

bro. You are not seeing a fucking cent from me until I see my passport book.

Dude, you better get your ass back in this fucking car,

bitch. What? You gonna throw a punch in your car?

Fucking do it. Do it. Count to five and I'll let you do it,

if you got the courage. Okay? Go ahead. One,

two. Ah! Fuck! Nice try, pussy. (car screeching) (coughing)

(instrumental music) (laughs)

(coughs)

(instrumental music)

(car starting)

(instrumental music)

I'm starting to think Gerald is a fucking rat.

I don't even know who that

is.

(Radio static)

Works for Ephemeris, teaches at Justin's college.

Government-funded since 1985. Why do you look

like

that?

Where the fuck are we?

17 programs across the East Coast since

1970s.

(radio static)

Francis Seeger is backtracking. We're matching plots.

Unless you have any problems with this right now.

When you find him, don't bring him to Omari until his

heart stops pumping.

You cannot leave a fed alive who knows you're investigating him

or his programs. Nobody else on the planet is.

No doubt, duck boat tour guides are trained not to point out the negative

aspects of our city. One passenger told us that this morning when they spotted a body

floating in the Charles River just behind us near the Longfellow Bridge,

that crew did their best to keep on going.

Justin is a pile of ash.

When I find what I'm looking for, there's gonna be a contract without

ratting. Nothing will change this. So what

you have in front of you is an opportunity to gain from the inevitable.

You know, I would just like to keep things grounded in reality.

Listen, I'm flattered you think I would know the first thing about being able to

do anything like that. It makes me sound imposing. I don't think I've been imposing

since my teen years, walking into the boy's locker room unsheathing my

penis. But this is not in my wheelhouse, it's not my forte.

Why do you think I would know the first thing about pulling off a...

pulling off what we're talking about? Frankly, I like

the odds of an agency where one of the partners was forced to an early

retirement, and the other one has no public record to

show. I want you to take the weight off my plate,

be my knife. Listen, if I were to consider what you're saying to me right now,

and I'm not considering it, that's a lot of

risk. That alone would be five digits,

maybe six. And I would want a

retainer. Tell me the deal, Rich.

I told her I would cap the guy who murdered

Justin. She's gonna pay us for it. Desperate

times call for desperate measures. And chemotherapy business partners

call for easy checks to be cashed. How

much?

The other half of my brain was thinking, "Do you know how fucking cool it would be

to kill a bad guy?"

Hey, did you know that tigers are the largest

cat?

Did your date drug you? She drugged me. She

handcuffed me to the shower. Everything that happened before that is just

poof. So what you're saying is that you don't

remember? No. Waking up

from something like that, it's like getting splashed in the face with a cold

bucket of

piss.

All

is bright round

yon virgin Mother and Child. Are we going

somewhere? This app just refreshed for the third time and you didn't really

enter a destination,

so s-

Hey, what'd you say your last name was?

Cabrera, right? Is that Puerto Rican?

Cuban? No, it's just regular

Spic...

when hunting big game, the only thing more important than your ability to close

is deciding your bait. (footsteps) What's up,

buddy? Hey, what room did you want me to go up to?

What kind of bait you choose will determine if the steps to come will be

simple or difficult, but few ever think about the

bait. I'm on my way to the hotel right now. Just wait in the

lobby. You got it, boss. All right. I'll see you then.

If he's used to being the apex, eventually his hunger will get the better of

him.

(music playing)

How long you been doing this? A couple of

weeks. That's bullshit.

I got 12-00 says that man right there is a

switch-hitter, if he can cooperate. What's the story?

The story is, his wife doesn't believe he's been picking up and dropping off

college students after last call. Hey, man,

that's cool and all but, uh, why does that mean you have to pay me to suck a guy

off?

What? Do you expect me to do it myself? He's a

friendly guy. I just want you to get him comfortable. And destroy his

marriage? Yes.

Listen, this is what you do for a living. It's your job,

how you survive. Look, I understand that

this might not seem that different from what I do any other night of the week,

but I don't like the idea of intentionally sabotaging a client.

Do you like the idea of a $100 bill?

I just want to have a good time. I don't want to break up anyone's

marriage.

(crickets chirping)

You know, cowboy, I actually did something kind of sneaky,

kind of bad right before we met up today. You're not gonna like this,

but I decided to run a reverse image search on those photos you posted to your

RentBoy page. (crickets chirping) So I know your real name's CJ.

I know that you're from Dallas, Texas, and you got a lovely girl for who seems to

know nothing at all about these hotel

excursions.

What if he's not into me? You know,

cowboy, I'm absolutely positive you're his

type. (chair squeaking)

(Music playing)

All right, this is about, uh, the, uh, seasoned veterans of the bar stool,

the, uh, functioning and not so functioning alcoholics.

Not that there's any of those in this city. No way!

Oh! Just kidding. How about that? Don't

fucking

drink. (laughs)

(Instrumental music playing)

(car driving by)

When I was a kid of about eight or nine (clicking),

a group of us from the neighborhood would sometimes break into the local retarded

boy's bedroom late at night and steal his Super Nintendo games.

(upbeat music playing) Things you learn when you're a kid.

Have you rented out the basement since? Nah, I don't even go down there,

man. It bums me out. Gives me spooky vibes.

(objects clattering) Oh.

Even when you earn your way into the end zone, life has a way of leaving just

one more roadblock in your path. It's always

just one

more.

(footsteps)

Hey, man. You, uh, you got a light?

I got a matchbook in my car. (Instrumental music playing) I've been

standing in the way. The mirror

let me raise it on my perfect

days. But I think I'm happier.

Hey, uh, I got some morse tape in my whip over there.

I thought you needed matches.

Do you just want a

Hummer? So

whenever the camera cuts to Dalton, there's, like,

a huge applau-oh! (laughs) Oh! Yeah, yeah. Well,

that means you have to have Dalton come in

and...

What do you say, Cowboy?

Partners?

Oh, that's terrific. I'm excited now. Um, what do I need to do?

Well, the voice recorder app will do most of the work for you.

If you can get a couple of pictures, that's certainly helpful,

but, um... Oh, add a dummy name in your phone. A

what? That's a pseudonym, for me. Okay? Just in case your phone gets

compromised, they don't lead you back to me.

(phone ringing) Hey, it's Cowboy.

Leave a message. Being a bad man at 17

is forgivable. Being a bad man at

27? That means

that in your soul, you can't be

cured. So, where do you think you're at

now?

It has to be sexual. Yeah. That North Korean's (bell dinging) a hottie in the

show. Kim Jong il? Yeah. No, no, no. S-I think her name is,

uh-I haven't watched it. Byok-

(instrumental music playing)

You waited for

me?

The

President announced his resignation Thursday night.

What'd you wanna do today? Launched the largest broadcast audience in American

history. Well, it's been a while since you've been in town,

right? In exception, Mr. Obie Toppin-I never told you that.

...has ever stood on this stage. I guess I just

assumed.

You don't wanna do that back here? Customers like

it tidy.

You know what I was thinking about this morning? How many shavings of glass

that the average person eats a year from their cereal bowl?

You know, like, with all the scraping.

Did you ever go fishing with your dad? Did I ever go fishing with my

dad?

No. One of the most wholesome things a boy can do is go fishing with his

dad.

Devlin, do you have a, a disability? Yes, I

laugh too much.

>>

(laughs)

like very nice man.

Love

everyone>>

One step at a time. Hey! Whoa, whoa. I'm good. Slowly.

I'm all right. Are you good?

Mm-hmm. All right, slowly doesn't mean stop. Today was a lot of fun.

You got a phone charger around here? Yeah, it should be in that drawer over

there.

Collect poems?

Oh.

This street legal,

Devlin? It

was a hand-me-down from my grandfather. Yeah,

this was manufactured in 2009. So you know what I could do right

now? (laughs) I could just plunge this in your heart,

Devlin. I could carve my name right in your fucking

glasses. (laughs) I'm just

kidding, Devlin. I wouldn't do anything like that to you.

(Glass shatters) I'm your friend! Silly

boy.

Rathke, would you get mad if I killed

you?

(Knife clinks) I'll call you in the morning,

Devlin.

(car whirring)

(upbeat music)

(mug thuds)

(phone chimes)

You're gonna give me five stars. You're gonna give me five stars.

You're gonna give me five stars. You're gonna give me five stars.

Devlin, you know I'm a veteran? You know I fought in the Iraq War,

for your freedom? 1992, I was a

POW. The, uh, the Mongolians or Arabs or where, I

don't know, I don't remember who we were fighting. You know,

I would just look at these guys and see red. Used to keep us in cages.

Used to make us suck dick for food. Listen, man,

it's snowing outside. It's a little chilly, isn't it?

You ever suck dick for food, Devlin? No.

You know the key-Five stars... when you're in a situation like that is to

learn to like it, to learn to like your

punishment. You know, maybe some days, the

Vietnamese wouldn't clean their foreskin. You would pretend

what was underneath was

queso.

Hey, I'll definitely let you pay me in coffee. I'm fading.

(Gearshift clanks) Open the glove box,

slow.

(Glove box creaks)

(glove box thuds) (car rumbling) I really gotta

poo-poo.

(car alarm beeping) (car door thuds) (car door closes) Now close it.

Take your time.

(door closes)

(car door thuds)

(car door opens)

(car door closes) I don't know what you were expecting me to do here,

Rathke. You can't just go bounding into places you don't belong and

expect to walk out free. Which car is

his? (car rumbling) I don't know. You don't know?

You don't seem to know much of anything, do you,

Devlin? Just a big fatheaded retard, huh? That's

you? Ate too much glue as a kid?

(Instrumental music plays)

It's a cold night.

(instrumental music plays)

You know, all the cop shows make stakeouts seem way more exciting than they actually

are. You got a

Game Boy? No. A magazine? Uh, I,

I don't read. (clicks tongue) Fucking

sucks.

(instrumental music plays) (hand thumping) Yeah, could you maybe not do

that? (sighs) Let's play charades.

You ever play charades? Okay. Here's how it's gonna go.

I'm gonna do an impression of something, and then you have to guess what it is.

Simple? Whatever. Here we go. Ready? Ready?

What am I? Uh, you're a burn victim. Oh, here's a hint.

Here's a hint. Ready? That's your hint, this, this whole

region. What am I,

Devlin? Uh, I don't know. No

guesses? I'm an asshole. You

get it? An asshole. You

could have illustrated that a little bit better. You know,

I might just kill us both.

(car whirring) Devlin. Yep?

Did you kill that

boy? No.

Are you lying?

No, I'm not lying. (sighs) You're lying to me. I

can tell you're lying to me. You got this look on your face.

No, man, I don't lie. You can be honest with me.

If, if you get your rocks off, if it makes your, your prick twitch to see a

college student die in front of your very eyes, like a sick fuck,

I'm not gonna judge you for that. We all have our,

our kinks. We all have our kinks. Mine, I'm not gonna go into that.

It's nothing illegal. It's nothing bad. But I'm

open-minded. Hey, it's not the worst thing you could do.

It's not a toddler. Just be honest, all right? You think I have some sort of

attachment to that mother? She, she's gross. She got wrinkles all over her face.

You think I-I've thought about sleeping with her multiple times?

No, I haven't. She's not my type. I like 'em ethnically ambiguous,

like you, Devlin. Reminds me of my first girlfriend.

Think she was a Pacific Islander. No, man, look at me,

I'm... I have big shoes. I'm tall.

I'm Abe, you know? Honest Abe. Abe Lincoln.

I'm Abe Lincoln. I do not tell a lie. You know what,

Devlin? I want you to deliberately tell a lie right now so I can test you.

I like pussy.

All right, I killed him.

It's just a job. We're friends. You

understand.

Your best bet is letting me go and hoping I don't come back for you,

unless it's paying you double. Must really be worth the

gamble. It is worth

it. You know, I was supposed to kill you tomorrow afternoon over lunch or

drinks. (laughs) Or

gum? I

nearly missed you. I've hardly seen

you. When I...

Rehearse, sir. Some say

you should. Hey, you see that?

(breathing heavy) I drugged

you. (gun cocking) All right,

Devlin. Sorry to leave you this way. This should only take me five

minutes. Just, uh, stay put, all

right? (gun cocking) Meaty thighs on you. You a

runner? No. Well, maybe you should

run.

(ominous music)

(tense music) Just one? It's not just one. It's you buy the whole pack or you

don't buy anything at all, bro.

(birds squawking)

(keyboard clacking) Bye, Devlin.

I'm sorry I have to do this, Devlin, but

...That's

an impressive trick.

(techno music playing)

(sounds of fighting and struggle) (grunting and screaming) There's a certain

itch that gets scratched when you blow a three-and-a-half-inch hole straight

through your enemy's eye socket. It's one of those feelings that makes you

puke right after it happens and you start to crave a year or two

later.

(instrumental music playing) It took another week,

but MySpace finally came through with what I needed,

a fresh start in every way.

(instrumental music playing)

(explosion) I made it to

Seoul nine days after that.

(phone ringing) (crowd noise)

Unfortunately when I got to Korea, Yoon Hee liked the idea of living with a

private detective more in theory than in practice.

And me, well. What's that?

I'm taking the garbage out.

I already took the garbage out. What are you

doing? I just fucking hated that bitch.

What?

Okay, so you're taking the garbage out.

(chewing noises)

Um, what if we give her a call and say we're the

publisher's clearing house and then you and I

go, go out and, uh, have steak out? What do you

think?

(instrumental music playing)

...

and

covered

with dead fish. This photo of a man in a

ghoulish mask was snapped by a dangerous marine

(soft music playing)

Nice mustache. Sorry man, not right now.

Have you ever come fishing with your dad?

What?

Attention,

any

child

crying>

college city, the population's predominantly white and statistically,

men are more likely to die early deaths, most likely to succumb to suicide.

Mate, one of the guys had his dick torn from his body.

I, I, I mean, uh, a fish coulda done that. A

fish? What the fuck are you

doing?

You're

listening to

WPAR in Cambridge. I'm crying Steve.

And coming up at 30 to midnight is our mellow magnum.

Tune into that

child crying>. You are listening

to 88.1 FM WBAR in

Cambridge. You from out of town? I'm a

traveling salesman from New York. NYC, greatest city in the

world. (laughs) It's a shit

hole.

Hey, weren't you supposed to take that

exit?

(suspenseful music playing)

Fuck. Just relax. Listen, let's talk

about this, all right? See, I had no clue you, you were

trying to kill me, Devlin. What the fuck did you expect?

It's best you don't get too excited, Mr. Radski.

Please, please, just pull the car over. Pull the car

over. Look, this, this is my fault. This is my

fault. That old fucking cunt, I never should've listened to her.

Don't mind me if I have a smoke, huh? I'm

sorry. I enjoyed hanging out with you. Remember we went to the mall?

Remember we did the massage chairs?

It's been seven years, Devlin. You don't have to get revenge on fucking every

single enemy you've ever had, all right? I'm the closest thing to a

best friend you've ever had. Haven't you heard that life is better with true

friends?

If you're gonna point that fucking gun at me, just pull the trigger.

If you're gonna kill me, just kill me. Just fucking kill me,

Devlin. Just fucking kill me. Pull that fucking trigger.

Pull that trigger you bald, nocy eyed faggot motherfucker.

Pull that fucking trigger you Bill Cosby looking bitch.

Pull that fucking trigger, you bald faggot.

Being a bad man at 17 is

forgivable. Being a bad man at 27, that means

that in your soul, you can't be cured.

(laughing)

So, where do you think you're at now?

Honestly? I think I'm a great

guy.

And that's a terrible

sign.

(electronic music)

(cheering)

(clapping)