Original subtitles

As you guys know you guys are getting the chance of a lifetime today to fuck a

porn star

You're going to be kicked off the team.

No, why?

You guys are going to pick at random.

Chris, go first.

Hey, Chris, go first.

Ooh, Serena.

Serena Santos. Serena Santos, nice.

That was a bad choice.

Oh, my God.

You worked me out. I felt like that she was the coach and I was the athlete.

Oh shit, are we all here for the same thing? Looks like it.

Oh shit.

Like winning the lotto.

Right, man?

Look at this.

All the awards, huh?

Looks really cool, man.

I wasn't nervous until now.

I've been nervous all day, man.

As soon as I got that email, I was just like, wow, it really happened right now.

So what made you decide to try out the porn star experience today?

I think what it was, I saw the ad on Bang Bros.

It was asking for guys my age and body type didn't seem to be a thing. It

didn't matter.

So I think that actually I can do some good here today as far as

representation.

Because, you know, I'm not like the Johnny Sins or J-Mac of porn, you know.

Just an average guy here who has an opportunity to have sex with a hot girl.

And I think that it would do good for my self-esteem personally.

And then other people out there like me who may have issues or body

complications, you know.

Just not the fit male model.

I just represent the average guys today is what I'm trying to say. I have a

question. Yes.

We're all in the fucking the girls together, so how this is gonna work The

girls will come in you guys are gonna draw a girl at random And then we

actually have different sets built in our studio. You guys will be fucking

individually Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, you guys will have your own little private

section and all that. So it's not an old circle jerk. No circle jerk.

Didn't know for that in college.

Not today, maybe another time.

Get to know you guys a little better. A little close and personal. A little too

close and personal.

How are you preparing today to have sex with a porn star for the first time?

I think I told you earlier, I'm kind of still in the now phase.

I don't believe it's actually going to happen.

So I don't think the nerves have hit me yet because I still can't believe it's

really happening, honestly.

If they're nervous, I'll be nervous too, boo.

No, I cannot. I like them when they're scared.

Be scared.

Be scared, bro.

It's just when they're scared, you can do so much. That's what I'm saying.

They're like, whoa, hold on.

It's like, oh, wait, does that make you nervous? Oh, my God, that makes me

nervous too, and it makes them want to do more.

Yeah, I like them being nervous because I get to talk.

No, I cannot.

A lot of people want that shit.

You're nervous? Good boy, be nervous.

What do you do for work, Steven? You look like the most...

Like fraudulent tax guy.

It's the most boring job compared to theirs. I'm an auditor.

Sit behind a desk and get cussed out all day by

people. When you have to go and audit them, do you at their house with these

ladies, are you giving them the special audit?

Oh, that never happens.

Most people are not happy to see me.

They won't be today, don't worry.

What is your favorite type of porn? What do you typically watch?

Lately, I've been more into the sloppy blowjobs. My favorite sound ever now

is... That really gets me going, honestly.

Do you have a top three favorite porn stars?

My top three, I believe Alexis Tay.

I like Maya Farrell and Jaime Marie. I'm not sure how to pronounce her name.

It was like definitely my top three. What is your special skill? How do you

plan to make these dad's dreams come true? I'm really good with spit.

Really? Fuck, why am I not fucking you?

I've witnessed it multiple times.

I can do like really crazy things with my spit.

It's like lube, it's weird.

True, very true. Oh yeah, we're definitely going to have to... I'm sick.

Let me get my... Do y'all want some privacy?

Yeah, man. You can watch.

All right, you guys ready to meet the girls?

Yeah. I'm waiting.

All right.

Egypt, do you want to come in here?

Yes.

Hi,

how are you?

My name is Egypt.

Nice to meet you.

Do you want to touch?

Oh, yeah.

It's so soft. Right?

Man. This girl, Egypt, she had the fucking smokehouse, man. Had this

big, fat, soft ass.

Like, Jesus.

She was very, very beautiful, tatted angel, I would call her.

Goodness. We got a fan right here. You're my fan? Yeah, a few of your

videos.

I'm a fan too. I'm Steven.

Baby, I'm on your lap.

I'm chosen.

Oh, shit. I'm chosen already.

Kiera, what about Justin?

Don't forget about him. Give everyone some love. Go sit on his lap next. I'm

getting acquainted with my choices, David.

Kiera came in the room. She's a freaking legend, man.

She's so much hotter in person. She's small.

Y'all can't do this to me. You can't give me a teddy bear and then tell me

not to sit on his lap. You want to do a little titty reveal real quick?

Your fingers are crossed.

Your fingers are crossed?

They don't gotta be crossed. You already got them.

Yeah, show some titties real quick.

Oh, shit.

Give him a little kiss, Steven.

Again? Yeah.

You have my consent.

As soon as I saw her like something in me just like sparked and I was like man,

I would love just ragdoll her she so Beautiful. Hi.

How's it going? Hello.

Sabrina Santos.

Hi.

You can go show those gloves. Go shake some ass.

Get them comfortable.

Ask their names like a normal person. Hi.

What's your name?

I'm Justin.

And what's your name? Hey, I'm Steven.

And what's your name?

Chris. Nice to meet you. Girl came in in blue.

Serena's her name. And, like, stacked, bro.

She was so cute, had a cute smile.

Your hands are so sore.

Do you have a favorite so far?

Yeah. I don't want to say who it is though. She sat on my lap and I

think she felt where I was coming from when she sat on my lap, man.

How do you guys feel?

We're not even going to renege on this. This is happening.

This is happening.

This is called making sure. So obviously you guys got really good options. The

nerves kind of calmed down a little bit. You guys feeling ready?

Excited? This better not be the worst episode of Punk ever.

Can you imagine that? I'm getting serious.

They're fucking, you're not.

Are you being serious?

You do the auditing while we fuck.

There's no wrong choice here, man.

Yeah, we can't do him wrong. He's going to fuck up Bang Bros with his auditing

shit.

No, no, no. Bang Bros, y'all are good. If you ever call me.

It's for free.

How confident are you about today? How well do you think you'll do?

I think it'll go well.

I've seen the girls. They seem very nice.

Hopefully I can you know saying I could give them a good average performance You

know like might not be the best fucking they had in their life, but at least

they're enjoy themselves as well as I mean I plan on enjoying myself

What

it was that the pyramid you could have best fast

or Do you have any fetishes

don't know how to explain this fetish it's so hard to explain like i don't

know what the word for it is but it's like they can come without touching

themselves you know what i'm talking about yes that's hot hold on that's a

thing they can come without what is it called she makes me so hard come denial

Come denial?

Wow, of course you would know that.

Hold on, so is the girl, is the girl getting, are you jerking him off or

something? No, no.

It's not really necessarily the fact that I have to jerk him off or do

anything. It's just like. He can make himself not just on TV.

He stops right before he's about to come and then he just shoots without touching

it. Oh, that's hot. Can we do, I want to do something like that one day.

It's not in my eyes.

I did one with this one guy who's really shy.

And it was so hot because he was shot.

It was so hot. Yeah.

It was funny because he was sitting there watching me stroke his dick, and I

would just look at him, and he'll be like... Like, you know when they get the

twitch?

Like, well-nerved. Oh, you love that.

I love the twitch. And then you lick their balls, and then you go a little

lower, and they're like... All right.

What is your freakiest fetish?

I don't know, my whole life I've been kind of, I don't want to say lame, but

lately I've liked a spit fetish. I like to be spit in my mouth.

I like to be spit on, kind of.

Should I say that?

Yeah, you say that.

I'm just saying, I don't want to become all weird.

This is a safe space.

It's a safe space.

More dominant or submissive?

It's funny because...

Thing what I like about feet like I like feet as well is that I like the

submissiveness of it all like, you know Worshipping a woman's foot just being on

there. So it really has nothing to do with actual feet So I guess I may say

I'm maybe submissive then because of that.

All right, Steven's your turn Hey,

let's see who you got.

Oh Hey guys

Kiera. Oh, yeah, man.

Fucking legend, bro.

She likes to be picked up. You think you would pick her up?

I'm trying.

Do you have any signature moves? How do you plan to impress whoever you get

paired with today?

Well, I think since I'm an average guy, you know, I'm not like some well-hung

human being, I think I may like, you know, get some good foreplay going, you

know, just to get it revved up and hot.

Give her an old boyfriend dick to call it.

Yeah, let's do this shit. You excited?

Yes.

Let's do it. All right. Wish him luck.

Wish me luck. All right. You're going to follow me, all right?

I'm going to try to smell your fingers.

All right.

I shall return triumph with my brothers. You will.

Steven, what's up? What's up, man?

You ended up picking Kira.

Not a terrible choice, probably the best.

Nice. He told us otherwise earlier.

But yeah, you kept the paper. Yeah, I'm keeping memories today, man.

Nice. Alright, so she said even though you picked her, you gotta beat her at

foosball. Do we have a rule? I know, right, man? What is that about?

Everybody else had trials and tributes.

It's just how the game goes.

I'm saying.

There's gotta be rules. But, Kira, there's one rule. While you play, you

gotta have your titties out.

Bam! How am I supposed to concentrate with my titties out?

That's the rule of the game.

You gotta maintain focus.

Stay focused.

Let's go.

I'm focusing, alright?

Alright, you ready? Go ahead. Alright. Put the ball in the thing. Three.

Two.

Oh my god.

No. No.

Oh, fuck. Is that the score?

No.

Come on.

Come on.

Stop. No.

Oh my god. I brought my own.

Fuck. I suck at this.

Yeah.

You beat her?

I mean, I scored.

There you go.

All I had to do was this, and I messed up.

I'm pissed.

Yes. All right, guys, let's go over to the set.

Ain't no best out of threes, nothing. No, let's go over to the set. Come on,

follow me this way.

All right, Steven, the time has come, huh?

Yeah, it's gamer time.

Gamer time.

You got her here. Oh, my God, you're so tall.

Yeah, look at that size difference.

Wait, stand straight.

Man, she wants to be picked up. You think you can do that?

Well, don't break your back.

All right, nice.

I put her in the bed You

excited

yeah get

comfortable you can take that off, but what I really want to see I Really want

to see her body how much yours aren't care where you get undressed

You wanna watch me getting dressed?

Yeah, no, I want Steven to do some of this. Right.

Yeah, you stand there. Un-dress me.

Yeah, stand there and look pretty.

Meow.

This is Kira's sexy, the sexiest she could get.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, I'm sorry.

She has it naturally, man.

What'd you think when you got Kira?

Oh, when I first saw her, I was like, yo, it's a legend in the room, man.

You're going to make me cry.

I just knew no way I was going to pick her.

Oh, you got her, dude.

Let me see. Let me see. Show me her titties real quick.

I'm T-posing.

I'm ready.

She's standing like that until her titties come out.

You know what that means?

Let me see.

Let me see.

Let me see.

Show me those titties.

Oh, my nipples are hard.

Shit.

Shit.

I think she dances. You have such a tight body.

I do.

These are very nice. They're, like, firm.

Thank you. Perfect.

I get it from my mama.

Yeah,

I'm sorry, Steven.

No, no, you're good.

I'm just happy to be here.

She feels so nice.

Do I feel soft?

Yes. I did my best to moisturize for you today.

Oh, my God. You smell good, too.

Thank you.

I was scared because it was getting a little hot, you know?

You say, guys, we like sweet musk.

Do they actually?

Well, Steven does.

Okay, that's good, then.

Don't be shy.

Pour some more.

Oh!

She's sensitive.

Alright, turn around. Let me see that booty.

Peel those shorts off. See you.

I'm T-posing.

Goodness, they're so tight.

I have to jump up and down to get them off.

Jump up and down. To get them on?

No, that's so tight.

Oh, I did.

Bend over right there, Kara, nice.

Am I good?

Mm-hmm.

Steven, come over here. Watch you twerk for a little bit.

Come on, Kara. Can you twerk?

Take the shorts off. Hold the weight off.

Just sit right there next to her, Steven.

Bam.

Ooh, my name.

Enjoy the show. Yeah, just enjoy the show for a little bit. Let me see

Was

it she's talking How

many languages is this week turkey turkeys now language

It is maybe

Look at that, Steven. What do you think?

It's the prettiest pussy I've ever seen.

Is it? Yeah, that pretty pussy, pretty butthole. You're gonna make me cry,

Steven. Oh my goodness.

I'll take my glasses off. That one's fucking ass, dude.

Little booties matter?

Yeah, spank it a little bit.

Little booties all that matter. What you talking about?

What do you think of her feet, though?

Cute little pretty feet.

You ticklish?

Yes.

It's so yummy.

Turn around, Kara. Put your foot in his mouth real quick.

Yeah, take my toe beans.

My toes very ticklish

That is actual, real and true.

I do love being tickled though.

But Kyra, do you like sucking dick?

I do.

But we'll get to that.

I like taking dick a lot more. What do you think, Steven?

Really? You wanna see?

I'm waiting.

Man,

I've been waiting for the past three minutes.

Really? Yeah.

Okay, look.

For the average guys.

Nice. Get over here. Get to the edge, Steven.

Just have your legs off the bed.

Pull those pants off. I have to get on my knees.

I could be right there.

There you go. Just lay down right there, Steven.

This was the director.

Hey, you weren't lying.

Those dead eyes.

You feel super fucking hard right now.

Oh, God.

Of course he has a lifetime of, you know... No, like, bricked.

You know, this is a chance of a lifetime for him. Right? Very hard.

Do you not own a mirror?

Thank you.

It's good.

I'm gonna put it in my hair.

Before that, come over here, Steven. Stand up. Let's get her on her knees

down here for a second.

Keep sucking this dick a bit.

Publicantes.

You're gonna make me shy.

You're making me blush.

Oh my gosh.

What do you think of our skills, Steven?

Best set I've ever had in my life.

I'm so fucking bruised.

Oh shit.

Oh fuck.

It's a fucking party.

Look.

Oh shit.

Oh my god.

Look at this lube.

It tastes like lubricant.

Ready to ride, Carol?

What? You ready to ride some dick?

Of course.

All right, Steven, lay down over there.

Let her get to work. Yeah, put your head on this side, in the corner.

Come on Kira, show them how a porn star rides dick.

Oh my god.

It's so fucking hot.

Oh my goodness. Jeez.

It's so fucking warm.

Oh my goodness.

Such a pretty butthole.

My butthole. Your butthole is so pretty.

That pussy is gripping the fuck out of my dick Oh my god

God damn

Oh

my goodness, that feels

actually really fucking good amazing

My pussy keeps pushing it out.

I feel that.

Oh shit.

That's just so fucking good

Every time you do that, I feel that. You feel it, really? Yes.

I'm small.

I'm small.

I'm sorry.

No, it feels good.

Oh, my goodness. Ooh, hold up. This is my composition.

Really? Yes.

You deserve it, baby. This is a G-spot area. This is a G-spot zone. You deserve

it, baby. Oh.

Oh, it feels crazy. You got a fucking neck.

You feel that? Yes.

Shit Oh

You can tell, huh?

Wait,

is one pillow in there?

No.

Come on in the bed, let me see.

Oh, okay.

Yes, god damn.

Lift her up a bit. I want to see those titties. Oh, yeah Oh

Fuck

I'm gonna cum.

Kira, I'm gonna fucking cum, Kira.

Kira,

come on.

I'm gonna fucking cum.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck. Oh,

shit.

I'm gonna fucking cum.

Wait, I'm coming home.

Shit She fell she slip I

made a mess Exactly what I'm

sorry

What you think of Steven?

Can we do that again?

I want to come again.

Thank you. Ain't no round two for you, dog. Get out of here.

You gotta go do an interview now.

I thought you said anal scene.

Can you take a nap first, bro?

Kira, you want the strap and then we'll go do the anal scene?

Yeah. What?

Yo.

How was that?

I'm so happy right now.

Man,

that was awesome, bro. Like, Kiara is so hot.

It was a dream come true, man.

Did you get the cock-cock that you like?

Yes, Lord Jesus.

It took everything in me not to come quick, but we got the word.

How about her feet?

You got some foot action going? Yes, man. She has the yummiest feet.

I swear I'm in love.

This is like the best day I've had in years, man.

I appreciate y'all so much.

I can't stop smiling now. I'm sorry.

You can't fall in love out here.

I was on your first board. You fall in love?

Maybe that's it, man. I'm one and done.

Please, give her my number.

Please, give her my number, please.

I will not. He's been gone for a while.

I know. I'm surprised, man. I figured he'd be back right away.

Oh, there he is.

How you doing, man?

How was it going? It was fucking awesome.

You look like you've seen God, man.

Bro.

Pretty close, you know, to having him back? Like a holy man.

It's like the greatest day of my life.

So how you feeling?

I feel really good.

I felt the nervousness, but that shit went away, man.

It was fucking great. Kara, did you write?

Yes. I think I'm in love.

I was like, seriously. You asked for her number, didn't you? Be honest.

I'm whispering in her ear. You going to start telling your family about her?

Ring shopping.

She come to the barbecue.

She come to the barbecue.

Did you lift her? I got her up, man.

I mean, if you fell in love,

first learn her name. Her name is Kira, not Kiera.

Look at how I'm saying Kira, man.

I see you. I'm speaking in tongues. Like, I was saying it right before.

Like, I don't know, man.

I'm just in a daze. Like, I'm so happy, man.

We're happy to have you. Thank you for coming to Dad's Love Porn.

And we hope you had a good time.

Yes, I definitely did. Trust me. I think you did. Great time.

All right. Peace out, Steven.

All right, man. Bye.

but certainly not least.

Here we go. You ready to massage?

Man, I'm ready. That's all you get is a massage. Nothing else.

Just a massage.

That's it?

That's it. Yeah, you don't get to fuck. You just massage. No, we play.

Don't let me in. Don't let me in.

All right. Have fun, man. Oh, man.

Cheers. Okay, dog.

Thank you.

You got this.