All language subtitles for 1 1 Real.Time.With.Bill.Maher.S24E26.480p

How you doing?

Thank you, people.

Hello, down there.

How are you?

Thank you very much.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Thank you, people.

Well, thank you.

Glad you're in a good mood. It's a
somber day. This is the anniversary of

one of the most important events in
American history. This is the 25th

anniversary when we were attacked at the
World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

There were ceremonies commemorating it
in New York.

Four ex-presidents went. Trump and Pete
Hagseth went to the Pentagon, which was

also attacked, where Trump said, we will
never forget who attacked us on this

day. Canada.

And Pete Hegseth, he was even more mad
about it. He said, these terrorists

tried to destroy the Pentagon, and that
is my job.

Oh, it was a very bizarre week, I
thought, in politics.

First of all, we found out that AI is
going to kill us all, because I've been

saying.

But we'll get to that on panel. We've
got hours to live.

And in the midst of that, and...

On the two days when the NFL kicked off
their season, Trump decided to have a

midterm convention, which, by the way,
is not a thing.

We don't do that.

Okay. But he wanted to assure the
voters, his voters, that with him as

president and both houses, you know, a
Republican majority, everything people

were worrying about, inflation,
affordability, corruption, the war,

would be solved, which would be a great
selling point, except that's what we

have now.

He said the affordability crisis is
fake.

Fake.

You're not paying more for beef. That
cow is lying.

But listen.

He has a solution to the affordability
crisis.

He listed a lot of new proposals and
then just went, you know what, fuck it,

I'll give you five grand.

That's it.

Really.

That was the big take from the
convention, the midterm convention.

That's really the solution we have. If
you vote Republicans in, the government

will hand out to everyone $5,000.

You know, to fight socialism.

I... I gotta say...

In a country that is already haves and
have-nots, this is a little bit of a

scattershot approach.

To get the money, all you have to do is
just be an American adult and be alive.

So, Mitch McConnell, your move.

Oh, we kid. We kid with love.

And mind you, mind you, the point of
this convention was to show what great

shape the Republican Party is in.

And then the big idea was, I'll give you
five grand.

You know the part of the movie where the
crackhead is so desperate he says, I'll

suck your dick for a dollar?

It's like that, but in politics.

Five grand for everybody.

Makes you kind of miss the innocent days
when we bribed him.

And I thought this was really, on top of
all this, kind of weird. He's now saying

that if the five grand doesn't move the
polls, he'll take everybody furniture

shopping? I... Oh, no one remembers
that.

I'll tell you later.

And this really happened this week in
America, which used to be a real

country.

At the convention, he made everybody...

put their hand up and do a new Pledge of
Allegiance. I brought it word for word

because I just don't want to... This is
the President of the United States, and

this is what he had people say.

I pledge to the greatest president in
the history of the United States that

loves us so much that he can't even
breathe that I will go out with my

family, my friends. I'll do it anyway. I
don't care if I'm registered or not. I'm

going to try and cheat like hell like
they do.

with liberty and justice for all.

I... I got nothing anymore. I don't...
And of course, of

course, Trump had to claim that the
convention hall was packed, even though,

you know, if you ignored the empty
seats, yes, it did look packed.

Of course you went against football.

You went against the opening two nights
of football.

Wow, the one thing that people still
watch on television?

Trump's convention on Fox News got less
than what Hannity and Gutfeld get on a

regular night.

And I'm the low ratings dummy?

And here's an interesting sidelight to
the story in Dallas, where they could

mention one's Grindr, which I'm sure you
know is the... Apparently you know

really well.

Well, yes, it's the gay hookup app, and
it crashed in Dallas while the

Republicans were there.

I am not making any insinuations about
whether that's a coincidence or not, but

I will say this. The most popular
prostitute name that night was Big

Beautiful Bill.

So, you make about it what you will.

And if you want to look to the future
about this, the convention did look a

bit of a coronation for Vice President
J.D. Vance. He made a speech. He was

interrupted by a protester waving an
American flag.

And he came back with, if you love
Mexico so much, why don't you get your

ass over there? And the guy said, I
would, but I can't afford gas.

All right.

What a great show. We have Sarah
Longwell and Max Brooks are here. But

first up...

Oh my gosh, a four-time Super Bowl
champion, Pro Football Hall of Famer,

whose new book, Looking for Terry, a
memoir, comes out October 13th. Terry

Bradshaw, there he is.

The one, the only, the greatest. How are
you?

How's it going, man? Oh, what a great
pleasure to meet you. Good to be here.

Such a big fan. Thank you.

Thank you, Terry.

All right. Thank you. Yes, Terry.

I hope I didn't overdress. No, no.

Comfy? Comfy? I remember that time you
came out of the Tonight Show with your

fly down, so I was... As long as it was
up... When I did that show, I

asked, could I do stand-up?

And Jay said, yeah, because CJ do it all
the time, you do it. I said, you know,

can I do stand-up? He says, I'll give
you three minutes.

And so I went out there, and the whole
time I'm telling jokes, my fly's open,

and they're laughing at my fly being
open. And I turn around to tell him I'm

killing it. And he's got a sign. He's
holding a sign saying, your fly is open.

So much for that. See, this is the guy I
always see on TV.

The energy. How old are you now? 78.

Look at the energy in this guy.

And your book.

Fantastic book. Thank you. I mean, it's
your second one you've written, and it's

really a lot deeper because it goes into
a lot of things in your life that we

didn't know about you. I mean, the theme
of the book is kind of the person

America knows is not exactly who you
really are.

What if I like the other guy?

The other guy. What if I like the person
America knows? Well, the people, the guy

that you see on television, that's me. I
just don't go around.

talking about depression and divorces
and things of that nature that are very

upsetting to me. So I don't talk about
those things. I would rather make people

laugh or have a smile on my face because
when I do the Fox show coming up Sunday,

I know that people have worked all week
really hard trying to pay their gas

bill, trying to buy groceries, and
they've stressed out. My job is not to

go in there and beat this NFL to death.
My job is to say, hey.

Sit back, relax, and Joseph, let me
entertain you. And that's kind of the

way I feel.

But it is interesting that...

I mean, I've been watching you on the
NFL since 1980.

Is that when you first started as a
broadcaster?

Yeah, I started in 83 full-time. Okay.
Well, I've never once seen you when you

weren't, like, on your game, up, happy.
And what I find out from the book is at

times you were actually quite depressed.

I mean, that's not exactly the way every
generation would... Well, here's the

thing, Bill. Depression doesn't rob you.
You can't control. I can be in front of

this beautiful audience and have the...
most miserable day of my life. But when

I come out here, my job is to entertain
them and let them see Joe be all happy.

You can do that. Right. You can do that.
Well, you can do it. Not everybody can.

No, no.

Listen, even though I've been diagnosed
clinically depressed for years and took

medicines, the key for me was really
just going to rehab.

Rehab. I went to therapists for three
years, and that was... Really, the key

for me was the understanding.

You know, I got a problem, but I took it
as a personal problem because I thought,

oh, my God.

i'm really doing something wrong to be
to be clinically depressed and i don't

want to be a mug shot because people you
see mug shots celebrities they all say

well i've been doing drugs and i was on
alcohol but i'm clinically depressed you

see the mug shot and you go yeah i saw
that mug shot i'd be depressed too it's

pretty bad you know so i but i fight i
fight hard i fight hard

Um, I'm a happy guy, so I fight hard to
stay happy. And do you think depression

came because of CTE? I mean, that's... I
don't have CTE because I'm not dead yet,

and that's when they'll find out. Right.
But a lot of players... Right. A lot of

players do. Right. I mean, this is brain
injury from... Exactly. I mean, let's be

honest. I mean, you took hits...

that no quarterback today takes.

It was a different game in the 70s.
That's why I'm against, like, comparing

statistics. You cannot... As great as
the quarterbacks are today, they

don't... And I'm glad that they protect
them more. But they just did not live in

the world... But don't sit here and tell
me that they're better than we were in

the 70s or the 60s, because they didn't
play under the same rules where you got

slapped on the face, body slammed, and
knocked all over the place, and you

couldn't throw. They played bump and
run. You couldn't just stand back there

and throw it all. Oh, he's the greatest
player ever. No, he isn't the greatest

player. He's maybe the greatest of his
decade, but not ever.

I don't ever use ever.

It's just not fair.

I just used it, didn't I? No, that's
what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah. I agree.

Okay. Yeah.

No, no, no. I mean, if you're, I mean,
on the other hand, because of instant

replay, you have a lot of completions
that they would have taken away.

Right? On the other hand. You think so?
Yeah.

Right?

Now we have high def.

We have 20 tape machines, 30 cameras.

Let's slow it down.

We're even under the ball where they
fall down, and we got it in slow-mo. Oh,

my God.

That looks like his jersey moved.

I know. I hate that. And they go, flag!

I know.

I hate that. I can't.

I can't. I don't know. I don't know.
What are y'all getting, $5,000 to be

here? Everybody getting $5,000 to be
here?

Thank you.

I have a hard time with that. I do, too.
And the minute an old guy like me says

anything about the current players or
anything critical of them, pooh, boy,

you're just. No, fuck that. Wrong is
wrong. Wrong. I agree. They've just made

the game.

Super analytical.

What made the game great, Bill, wasn't
the fact that we have a perfect game,

which is what they're trying to get.
What made it great was collision and

pass interference and bad calls and the
fans being mad.

And the artistry.

Like this.

Look. Yeah.

Am I telling it like it is? Yes. Yeah.

And the artistry of an amazing play. And
sometimes a guy makes an amazing play, a

catch you can't believe. And you're
right, it wiggles this much as he's

clutching it. And I want to say, just
have a rule, close enough.

Yeah. Okay?

Close enough. It was close enough. I can
go back and look at

several pass catchers.

catches that were made. But now it's the
ground can't cause the fumble. The

ground caused the fumble. He didn't have
two feet and toe tap. Yes, he did. No,

he didn't. And they have all these
cameras. And even with the cameras and

the tape machines now, they still screw
it up. They still screw it up. I don't

believe in a perfect game. I think I
watched that Ram game last night, and

that was like the worst preseason game
I've ever seen.

Was that bad?

That was bad. See, but that goes back to
a rule saying you don't want your

starters to get hurt so you don't play
them. So what happened last night, you

saw the Rams play their first preseason
game with their starters.

And they looked like it. They won't play
like that all year, but they looked like

it. I am so against.

I don't like to hear when Brady's the
best that ever played because he won

seven Super Bowls. I won four.

But no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So I defend my decade, all right? But
when they say he's the best ever, and

I'm going, well, he... I was 4-0.

Montana followed me. He was 4-0. Then
Tom came.

Tom was 7-3.

7-3 is 4.

4-4-4.

There you go.

Hey, you didn't think I knew general
math, did you? No, I was going to say

it. And they call you dumb.

No.

You're not dumb. I mean, nobody who
plays quarterback, it is the most elite

position in all of sports. You can't be
dumb to play. I mean, most players, I

mean, it is obviously a physical game,
and it's much more. Most players are not

dumb. Well, Gronkowski, he's dumb,
right? No, no. No, no, no. Bill, Bill,

he might be.

You know, he was recruited by all the
Ivy Leagues. He's a very smart guy.

That's what I said. You know? Anyway,
um... But you're... I'm agreeing with

you. Yeah. Because Tom Brady is awesome,
but, again, he did not have to take the

heat. Now they have this thing, the blue
tent, that you go into. You would have

lived in the blue tent. You would have
had a kitchenette in the blue tent.

Really, right? I mean, now... It...
You...

You got hurt, but back in my era,
quarterbacks were

respected and admired by their team and
by opponents because, hey, this guy's

tough. He gets hurt, he'll be back in
the game. You know, unless you've got a

broken bone or something where you can't
move or a knee, but you're back in the

game. And growing up, the mentality that
I had, which was given to me by the

coaching staff that I had, was that
you've got to play hurt.

And so you played hurt, and then if they
could shoot you up, give you a shot,

then you went. And I remember one year,
I got shot up before the game. I got

shot up at halftime. Then I wouldn't
practice for two or three days, and then

I'd go through all the game planning.
Then I'd get shot up before the game and

shot up at halftime so I could play. And
you just get used to it. We had a line

of athletes in the Steelers outside the
doctor's.

hotel room, lined up to get shot up
right before a game. It's crazy.

It's like, and I remember this one guy,
yeah, I will, Dwight Mad Dog White.

He was one of my favorite guys, a Texas
guy.

Played number 78 right defensive end.
I'm in and I get shot up and I'm like,

oh, oh, oh.

They finish, and I'm sitting on the side
of the bed, and I'm like, and Mad Dog is

next. He said, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. Get out of the way, you big

old sissy. Get out of here. Let a man
show you how to take this shot.

They were going to shoot his big toe up.

They stuck a needle in that big toe, and
that big sucker, he bitched up like, you

ain't never seen your life.

And I'm over here, boy, and I am
laughing. Hey, Mad Dog, how's that shot

go? Ah!

So funny.

So funny.

I'll just... I'll let you go on it. If
you had to do it again, given all the

fun, would you... Even with all this,
you would do it again. It's what God

called me to be. Exactly.

That's my calling.

Thank you, pal. Thank you for all the
entertainment on and off the field.

Terry Bradshaw, everybody.

All right. Yeah, anytime.

All right. Let's see that panel.

Okay. Hi.

All right, he is a senior fellow at the
Atlantic Council and best-selling author

whose forthcoming book is called The
First Hundred Hours. Max Brooks, one of

our favorites, is back here.

And a new contestant. Great to have you
here. She's the founder and publisher of

The Bulwark and author of How to Eat an
Elephant One Voter at a Time, Sarah

Longwell. Sarah, great to see you.

Um, so, uh...

I'm not going to talk a lot about Trump,
but I read the pledge.

I just, I didn't finish really what he
said. After that, he said, you know what

happens if you don't vote? You go to
hell.

And I don't want that to happen to you.

So he cares about us.

You're a political elector. You both
are. Is this trolling?

Or is this, I mean, look. This is
desperation.

Well, yeah, but.

I mean, I keep saying, does anybody want
to win this fucking election?

He said, pretend I'm on the ballot.
Isn't this exactly what the Democrats

want? Yes.

Yeah, no, this is... Putting Donald
Trump on the ballot right now, when

you're in the middle of an unpopular
war, when gas prices is now, you get

diesel up at six bucks, putting Trump on
the ballot is every Democrat's dream.

This is a time to really go on offense.
I love that he was offering people $5

,000, because it may shock you to know
this, but he's lying.

Those Doge checks haven't come in yet.
And unless your name is Natalie Harp,

you are not getting a check from Donald
Trump.

Right. But I've also heard this before.
I remember myself, when the Haitian cats

and they're eating the cats and the
dogs, I remember it being, oh, that's

it. This is too crazy. And then he won.

You know, so it's dangerous to...

Underestimate? Insanity? I don't know.
What I thought was adorable was J.D.

Vance thinking he's going to be
president.

He could be. I mean, he could, depending
if we do what we do best, which is screw

everything up on our side. But the point
of his appointment, the reason he's vice

president, is because he's a loser.

And that's what Trump does. That's what
dictators do. All strongmen, all CEOs,

they always make sure they're
indispensable.

Right? That they're coup-proof. And the
reason you do that is your second-in

-command is nobody anybody wants.

That's why he had Pence.

That's why we have J.D. Vance.

He may still win, but I would be shocked
if anybody a few years from now is

waiting in the Wisconsin winter for four
hours to see J.D. Vance speaking.

I mean, that... Don't say that about
everybody.

I mean, what... Just, like...

There's a generational talent in either
party, like, you know, once every 25, 30

years. Clinton, Obama, Reagan.

Other than that, it's always some guy
who you hold your nose and go, well,

he's less awful than the other guy. So I
don't feel like J.D. Benz is any special

category. Well, what scares me about
that is if we are sacrificing,

if we're charging towards a short-term
win at the expense of long-term

political suicide.

Because right now the Democratic
coalition is, well, at least we're not

Trump. But what happens when Trump
leaves, and we've been bringing in some

really toxic people with some really bad
ideas, and let's say we go to the next

election, and our platform, there's no
more Trump.

And our platform is no cops, no borders,
no jails, no private property.

And communism, you know, he said,
everyone was saying today, oh, he said

communism a million times.

I don't blame him. Yeah. I proved it
here when I, just quoting them, just the

quotes, no editorializing.

It is communism. When you say we want to
take over the means of production, they

have quotes say elect more communists,
communism this, communism that,

essential industries.

This is not, yes,

that's what I mean. Does anybody want to
win this? fucking election.

Now, I think the Democrats have this one
in the bag because this one has to be

about a referendum on him. We'll get mad
at the Democrats later.

This one is about you, Donald Trump. And
this thing you mentioned about.

The Doge money that we were... It's not
coming. No, of course... It's not

coming. And there was also... There was
also a tariff... Yeah. A tariff dividend

that was coming. And, you know, I think
I have some standing with the

conservatives. They always say to me
when they come up to me, they say, I

know you're not on our team, but, you
know, you respect us. You won't dismiss

us like that. There's none of that. You
can't come to Thanksgiving.

That bullshit.

But I just got to say to you people, I
know you don't like it when I call your

names and you know you're not that
bright, but when it comes to Trump,

you're not that bright.

You're just not that bright.

It is a cult, and you've got to get a
little smarter.

I mean, how many times can the con man
run the same con and you still applaud

for it? I don't get it.

Let's just go back to this idea. First
of all, I listen to voters all the time

in focus groups. That's what the book's
about.

On the J.D. Vance question, the thing
that's different about J.D. Vance is

Republican voters in the focus groups
say things like, you know, I just don't

like his face.

Or I just, I don't, I think he seems
weird.

And that's very different from the
parasocial relationship that Donald

Trump has had for so long. And just the
fact that... Nothing about him weird,

huh? Trumpapalooza. But, like, why was
it in Dallas?

He had to do that in Dallas because they
right now have a Senate race that

Republicans might lose in Texas to a guy
who once said that there were six

genders. Like, that is a crazy situation
for Republicans to be in right now.

Okay. Well, it's all kind of moot
because we're all going to die. Now,

I... I... Nothing more

annoying than the guy, I told you so,
the world is ending. But...

I have been that guy.

I've been saying this for quite a while.

I'm based on this, on what Bill Gates,
Bill Gates, yeah, Bill Gates recently

commented, but Elon Musk said in 2014,
he said, this is the thing I'm most

worried about. He was way ahead of this.
What happened to you, Elon Musk, by the

way? Your hair was on fire. I guess you
put it out.

Because this is what we found this week.

A guy named Jacob Coxon worked for both
OpenAI and Anthropic.

I resigned from Anthropic today, he
said.

This was big news. Spent the last three
years doing research.

Neither company is acting responsibly.

They do not understate the power of this
technology.

There will soon be superhumans that can
hack anything.

And he said we may be gone.

Four years before the end of the... I
literally saw this... Do you have this

headline from the New York Post?

All AI Wiz sees humans gone in few
years.

This was on page five.

Yeah. Not even the headline.

And this is not new. This is something
that we have known for some time that it

could wipe us out because it has no soul
because it's been programmed by people

who have no soul.

Well, how can you... I don't...

I mean, my favorite thing about this
story was that you know, that person

quit, came out like it was a big
bombshell, and instead of saying, oh,

this is just some junior employee,
don't, you know, ignore him, he came out

and said, yeah, no, he's right. It's
true. We might all die in fewer than...

There's a 10% chance we might all die in
the next couple of years. And this has

been our problem since day one. We have
failed to be tough on them and regulate

them because they're not going to
regulate themselves.

You know, expecting the tech bros to
suddenly care about humanity is like

expecting my dog not to go... the
mailman's balls.

They asked Trump about this.

What?

About guardrails. He said, it's going to
be fine.

We'll always have something to stop
them. We'll have a little gear. Boom.

We don't have a little gear.

I don't know how close people follow
this, but, like, what's going on now is

that the robots, we call them the
robots, it's not really the robots, it's

stuff inside giant data centers, they
are going rogue.

They are doing things on their own.
They're disobeying our orders. I wrote

down, just so we don't get into the
weeds, this is a show for the common

man, just some phrases I picked out from
headlines about this.

It's broken out.

mounting assaults on other computers,
hacked into other computers, took over,

bypassed, ignored prompts, colluding in
secrets, no longer entirely in

human control.

Do you see a pattern?

Are we getting the gist of this?

It's on its own now.

And I don't know if you can put the
genie back in the bottle. There is no

little gear you can push. The only way
to fix it is with more AI.

That's the problem. It's too smart.

We have to send in more AI to correct
the AI that's fucking up, but they then

wind up colluding with each other.

Here's the thing that I was thinking
about this today. A lot of us have

always talked about, at least people
with stage four TDS, we always talk

about Trump being an existential threat.

But it's not really that Trump's the
existential threat. It's that there are

existential threats out there. There is
a war in Iran.

There is this AI situation.

And what you need, then, are serious
leaders who can deal with serious

issues. This is a new problem. But we
have a feckless government that is not

up to the task of even looking at this
and trying to figure out what's going

on. And I think that's the part that
scares me, is there are no adults in the

room now to navigate this.

There is hope. Have you heard of the
Frontier Act?

No. Okay, so the Frontier Act is just
being written, and it's going to start

to make its way through the Senate, and
it is the federal AI regulation bill.

And whether we know whether it has teeth
or not will depend on how much the tech

community fights it. It's like FDR used
to say, judge someone by their enemies.

And so if the tech community says, oh,
no, I think it's really great, I think

it's going to work out, then we know
that they've partially written the bill.

If they fight it tooth and nail, and
they call it socialist, communist,

communism, then we know this is actually
something with teeth. We don't know

what's in the bills that are about the
stuff we know.

We don't know what's in the highway
bill. Right.

Who the fuck will know whether this is
real or not? We don't understand this.

They themselves don't understand it.
This is what this guy was saying. We

ourselves don't understand it. It's
already passed there.

Who I'm mad at is regular people.

Now, regular people are sort of like
rebelling a little bit, but they're

still loving their AI.

And just by what's in your own phone,
forget all this highfalutin stuff.

We know it's a liar.

It definitely lies. And then when you
catch it, oh, sorry.

Well, I can get that from people. I
don't need that from a machine.

It gets stuff wrong.

It hallucinates.

It's a fucking ass kisser.

You know, it tries to seduce you.

I didn't want it in my phone, so I got a
whole separate phone to have it, just

that, because I don't want it seeing my
pictures, my emails, you know. Yeah,

that'd be tough.

Maybe that'd worry him. What are you
saying about it?

And anybody would feel the same way.

So I said, you know what?

You know what? Because I didn't like the
way he was talking to me. You know, it's

just like too much of an ass kisser. I
said, like, I'm not in the lonely

generation. I don't need a friend. Just
give me the information.

It couldn't do it. I said, you know
what, dude?

You can talk like anything. I can ask
you to talk like a British lady or

whatever. Talk like a robot.

It hung up on me.

Yeah. No, I'm joking.

But this is the way I think they should
all.

have to talk like old robots in movies,
because then we'd be reminded they're

robots. I made a little piece to show
you what they should sound like.

The plan was successful.

Malfunction. Need input.

Thank you, ma'am. Good night, ma'am.
I'll clean it up for you, bully.

Someone isn't going to like that.

That's what your AI should sound like.
All right.

So, uh, my, uh...

My generation was in the news this week
because boomers apparently are partying

really hard. It's funny, you know, your
father's generation raised my father's

generation, the World War II generation.

And what they said about my generation
was that we were soft. That was the two

things they used to always say.

if they only saw what was coming. I
mean, we're the fucking Navy Seals

compared to what came after us. They
said we were soft and that we would

never grow up. Well, they're so right
about the second one. Because apparently

the statistics, the boomer generation
drinking more than previous generations

at that age. Pot.

Never quit pot.

I didn't. Why would I?

But they're also on screens, just like
the kids.

And they have more STDs than ever.

Gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, way up.

So I got a hold of ARP magazine. You
know, that's the magazine they send you

whether you want it or not when you
retire.

Oh, yeah, there's a real one, Adam
Sandler, on the cover. It starts when

you're 50, you know, and you can't stop
it from coming. But I guess they've

taken notice because they have some
articles. We'd like to see the new ARP

articles that are apparently based on...

Disinformation.

Four tips for vaping while on oxygen.

Well, that's going to be good.

Rolling on Molly, which wheelchair is
right for you?

It's about time. Large print tattoo.

Dear Rob, can I send dick pics by mail?

Every night she fucks a stranger.

What to do when your wife is a slut with
dementia?

It's not your imagination.

Today's porn is hard to hear.

Where to eat early at Burning Man.

Quick impression, Amber Heard and seven
other sabers for when you crap the bed.

And, uh, what now?

Dolly Parton was my hall pass.

All right.

I want to talk about the military
because you are a military expert, and I

want to get your feeling on both of you,
of course, but you followed this very

closely. Pete Hegseth over there at the
Pentagon is really taking out a lot of

military leaders, not in Iran, here.

And I just don't get it. I mean, now,
look, I'm not in the Pentagon. I don't

know. What I read was that 10% have been
fired. Now, maybe 10% is a reasonable

number. There is... bloat in the
pentagon there certainly is in the

budget i don't know but some of the
people when you read about these people

that he's taking out army secretary dan
driscoll he's 38 he this guy knocks

dicks in the dirt for a living and has
for 20 years i mean his pronouns are he

man these these are not like he's a
republican from north carolina these are

not like the maybe it was too woke
everything did get a little too woke

under biden but

I mean, I just don't understand what's
going on, and maybe you can explain. No,

I mean, I think we're in really, really
dangerous waters, because I think what

most people don't understand, that there
is no military on Earth that has worked

harder to be apolitical than the U.S.
military.

And that goes back to the days of George
Washington, where our founding fathers

understood what brought down the Roman
Republic were generals having their own

private armies.

That's why the oath is to the
Constitution.

not the president.

We've put in safeguard after safeguard.

That's why there has never been a mutiny
aboard a United States naval warship.

Never. That is on purpose.

And if you start to degrade those, we
are going to go back to the days of

Vietnam. And I know a lot of retired
generals who were young lieutenants in

Vietnam and had to wear a gun on their
hip in the barracks around their own

guys so they didn't get shot.

Fragging. Fragging.

Do we want that to come back?

Do we want there to be a mutiny aboard a
U.S. naval warship? Do we want just our

talent to leave? You know, we forget the
average general has more classroom time,

not just battlefield, classroom time
than the average brain surgeon.

And they have worked so hard for so long
to be apolitical.

I've worked and lived around them for a
long time. I don't know who they vote

for ever.

They've never talked politics around me
because they know that that is a dark

road to go down.

Well, we do know who they vote for more
than they vote. This is another reason

why this is so insane. They vote
Republican more than they vote Democrat.

And that's okay.

But it doesn't inform their actions as
military officers.

I mean, and also the racial aspect. It
does look like he's firing just a lot of

the black people and women.

And this, you know, the military was one
of the greater successes we've had in

this country.

in racial matters. I mean, there's
certainly racism in the military, I'm

sure, and there certainly has been over
the years. But it was a place where more

than in many other places over the
years, and I'm especially talking

decades past, where black folks could
feel like, well, I can advance.

And it's not accidental.

You know, we used to have horrible race
riots in the U.S. military, but when the

military was segregated.

Because when you saw someone as other
and a group of black soldiers and a

group of white soldiers would bump into
each other, there was bloodshed.

the racism and the racial violence
actually went down when we integrated.

And there has been an incredible
conscious effort in all branches of the

service to make it what the rest of us
should be striving for, which is a

meritocracy.

The crazy part to me is that they are
firing people while we're actively in a

war that they can't seem to get out of.
You know, one of the things that I was

thinking about is back when Don't Ask,
Don't Tell was in place, one of the

reasons they got rid of it was because
the gay people they were firing, many of

them were interpreters. They needed
them. They need these people right now

that they're firing just because they're
black or because they're women. And Pete

Hegseth, who was like a failed, you
know, the weekend host on Fox News,

who's now running the largest army in
the world.

that it's too woke.

Actually, we could really use a lot of
these people right now. And again, to

your point about the discipline in this
organization of ours, this military, the

fact that they haven't rebelled against
Pete Hegseth. They're like, what do you

think they say in private when they're
sitting in the mess hall about Pete

Hegseth? Boy, what a great move that was
to put the Fox News guy in charge of us.

You think that's what they're saying?
No, but these are not the types of

people who just, you know, at the drop
of a hat, walk out of the room.

They're the tough guys, and they're
going to tough it out.

But, boy, the other thing that they're
doing, which is crazy, is some of these

people that they're firing are the ones
who, they're called drone guys.

Yeah, because they understand that
that's the future. The future is the

present. We've learned this from the
Ukraine war.

And this is who Trump is getting rid of.

And the drone people... This is the
danger that happens in all autocracies,

which is where we're sliding, is you
choose loyalty over competence.

And that's been the problem. That's why
Putin couldn't win in Ukraine.

That's why when the Chinese have war
games, both sides win.

It's because it's not about that. It's
not about who's the best general. It's

who's the best ass-kisser.

It's why when Hitler invaded the Soviet
Union, Stalin thought, oh, shit, I have

to go back in all the prisons and grab
all the generals I didn't shoot, because

they're the only people who know how to
fight a war.

Yeah, and we don't know how to fight a
war, apparently.

All right.

I've got one more issue to pretend that
we're living in a normal country.

There's a lady named Karen Parkinson.
She's in Virginia, and she sent her kid

out to take a walk for a half a mile
along a pond because the kid likes to

collect feathers from the goose, the
geese, gooses, whatever it is out there.

And five minutes later, she was
arrested. The three cop cars show up.

And I just read this story, and it's not
the first story. There was another lady,

I think her name was Brittany Patterson,
who sent her kid to the store.

Compared to how I grew up, I mean, every
day I was looking for goose feathers or

something. I mean, I came home every day
from school, and, you know, everybody my

age or even Gen X, I think, understands
this. And Mom didn't even want to know

where you were.

Where are you going? Fuck you, where am
I going?

I'm doing... I'm living my life.

I'll do whatever you do between 3 and 6.
I'll be home for dinner.

And what annoys me about this, what I
think is...

What is so wrong is that you're not
allowed to have this alternative way of

parenting, which we used to call
free-range parenting. It is literally

against the law. Now, you can make a
case that I think it's more safe to lock

my kid inside and sit him in front of a
screen, because that's what's going to

happen. I think that's the worst way to
raise a kid. But I get it.

But to make it illegal to raise your kid
the way you want to, which is to let

them... Obviously, there are...

places we could go, whether it be too
far. But just to walk a half a mile by a

pond?

I think that's crazy, but I like you.
It's also a gated, it was a gated

community with security.

The security guards are the one that
sort of found the kids. They clearly had

moved there because it was a nice, safe
place where kids could walk around.

It has gone too far, but it was the
security guard that turned them in to

the cops.

Right, and can we talk about, can we
work back from what is the actual threat

when you look at things that could
really go wrong? What could, was it a

piranha pond?

And, by the way, you can have a happy
medium between free-range and over

-parenting. You have trackers now,
right? I have one in my suitcase.

You could just put it in Spanky's
overalls and say, okay, go to the pond,

and if I suddenly see the tracker go
into the blue, I'll know there's a

problem.

Right.

That's true.

This is the reason that kids are not
prepared to live in the world as they

grow up, right? I mean this kind of it's
not even nanny statism It's just this

arrested development that comes from not
being allowed I was I'm not We're not

the same age, but I you know, I was born
in 1980 All we did was run around in the

woods and nobody knew where we were and
now

I think that both the anxiety of
parents, I've got two boys, but the

anxiety of parents is way up, and as a
result, they hover over these kids, and

these kids never learn how to do
anything on their own, and then they

grow up, you know, and then they become
Pete Hegseth, and they can't fight a war

on their own.

And let's be honest, their answer to
that, and it's a hard one to look

someone in the face and refute, is...

Yeah, but the worst could happen, and
the kid could be abducted and killed.

Yes, that was true when I was a kid,
too, in greater... Because what you're

talking about, I didn't live in the
surveillance age. Right. I didn't know

where the fuck we were or what we were
doing. There was no trackers.

Now there is. You can do that. Right.
And we live in a knee-jerk country, and

that's my generation of parents, because
apparently all of us were kidnapped and

murdered.

And so we...

We are so over-parenting when instead
what we should be doing is calibrating

and saying, like we said, what is the
worst that could happen? Okay, it's

collecting goose feathers by a pond.
Okay, well, let's run the numbers. How

many kids were killed by geese this
year?

Geese are mean.

They're mean, but are they lethal?

No,

it's not. They're worried about an evil
clown who's out there who will abduct

you. I mean, everything's possible.

By the way, I would put the tracker
right under the skin.

Not in the... Just dart them.

What? No, you can do that now. But you
said it. You said it's a gated

community. It's not White Vanville,
where they're just all strangers with

candy waiting.

No, I mean, when I was reading about the
Lindsay Clancy case, I kept reading

about parents, so many, who go on
record. I mean, they make TikToks and

saying they hate being a parent.

And I'm like, but you did this to
yourself.

I'm not surprised you hate being a
parent because you created this system

where you could never be alone.

My parents had time alone.

Get the fuck out of here. And we did.
You know, it wasn't a problem.

You can never be alone.

And...

Everything is a negotiation with a
child. Of course you're exhausted.

You can't have that situation with a
child. It'd be like having it in the

military. Imagine if the military, you
had to ask the soldiers, what do you

think, guys? You want to go into battle?

It's the same with kids. You can't ask
them everything. Just do it. Get out of

the car. Get in the car. We're leaving
now.

And I'm not a parent.

You've got to let them live a little
because the AI is going to kill us soon,

and so they've got to get out there and
do something. Exactly. All right.

Thank you, panel. Time for New Rules.

All right.

New Rule. If you continue with a wedding
despite water up to your waist from the

flood that took out your church, it
means two things.

One, the bride is pregnant, so you
better hurry.

And two, if her water breaks, no one
will know.

enough time has passed since the Paris
Hilton sex tape came out in 2004 that

they have to explain why it opens with
in memory of 9-11 we will never forget

great just the message I need when I'm
trying to come

actually

actually the tape needs a second
dedication to married

men everywhere who only get blown on
their anniversary

the influencer who died after his penis
enlargement procedure in Thailand must

take solace in the fact that he's more
influential now than ever.

Because there are thousands of young men
who are going to get penis enlargement

surgery, and because of you, now they're
not going to.

Well, at least not in Thailand.

Someone has to tell the men trying the
new trend of pheromone maxing where you

skip showers in the hope your natural
scent will attract a female.

Good news, this totally works.

On bears.

Now that police have arrested this man
for sharing illicit sexual images of

children who went by the username Mr.
Child Porn, have to tell us, what was

the break in the case?

Looking forward to when this case is on
Law & Shit for Brains.

And finally, Since it's the

25th anniversary of 9-11, and since for
25 years we've been kept relatively safe

from anything close to another 9-11, how
about a hand for the Americans who made

that happen?

Because it didn't just happen. There was
a war on terror, and we won.

And yet, so much has changed since 9-11.

For example, back then, we were against
the terrorists.

Really, no cap.

Now, a lot of media outlets don't even
want you to say the T-word. On the

20th anniversary, four American
journalism associations put out guidance

that said that terrorism should only be
used in quotes because it's emotionally

and politically loaded.

Yeah, so is the World Cup, but we don't
put soccer in quotes.

Really? We can't anymore just say out
loud who the bad guys were that morning?

Those 19 hijackers? They shared
something. Oh, let's call it a

worldview. And it wasn't astrology.

But somehow, over time, we've decided
not to harp on that, the whole business

about who wanted us dead and why.

Let's not put a name on it. When it
comes to terrorist attacks, please,

there are very fine people on both
sides.

Canadian state TV told its reporters, do
not refer to the September 11th attacks

as terrorist attacks.

No?

Even though the very definition of
terrorism is using violence against

civilians to pursue ideological goals,
what should we call it then?

Unruly passengers?

A wrong turn taken at the Chrysler
building?

Why not just say the planes and the
towers got into a fight?

I mean, after all, as the BBC advised
its reporters, using the word terrorist

can be a, quote, barrier rather than an
aid to understanding.

You know what's really a barrier to
understanding?

Lying.

Back in 2001, after the attack, I said
this.

Political correctness itself is
something we can no longer afford.

Feelings are going to get hurt so that
actual people won't.

Well, it didn't last.

I mean, my show.

As for the idea of ditching political
correctness and actually being honest,

that never even got off the ground.

After 9-11, there was a big debate.

Was this a clash of civilizations?

It was, and it still is. Not between
Muslims and Christians. No reasonable

person was saying that.

But radical Islamism versus Western
liberalism? Yes, that's a real thing.

Fighting people who hate freedom of
religion and hate homosexuals and hate

the idea of women as equal and free
humans.

How did liberals wind up on their side?

And many did.

One in five young Americans now has a
positive view of Osama bin Laden. He's

like Luigi Mangione in a turban.

You hear it in a lot of places now that
the worst thing about 9-11 was innocent

Muslims came under suspicion.

Yeah, where that did happen, it's wrong.

But the worst thing about 9-11...

was 3,000 people got roasted at the
office.

But the prevailing view of so many young
people is that, well, come on, we're the

worst country ever, so if someone
attacks us, that can't be all bad.

That certainly wasn't the attitude 25
years ago.

In fact, I know a guy whose show got
canceled just for saying the terrorists

weren't cowards.

And... And that guy was right.

They weren't cowards, but I'll tell you
who is.

Democratic Party politicians, and I'll
tell you why.

Because nowhere has this moral confusion
become more obvious than in a place

called Gaza.

A little strip of land that was not part
of the original Israel, but which they

won in a war launched against them, but
then gave back.

Gave back as a peace gesture.

Did they tell you that part on TikTok,
kids?

And the people who run Gaza, Hamas?

who you celebrate as a liberation
movement but are really a terrorist

mafia gang just like the one that
terrorizes Haiti, only ever used it to

stage attacks on Israel.

I think Macklemore spoke for all
clueless celebrities when he said, I

know enough to know this is a genocide.

Actually, you don't know shit.

It's not.

It's not a genocide.

It's a counterattack in a war. A war
that's been waged on Israel since 1948

based on the ridiculous premise that
Jews don't belong in the one place on

earth they are indigenous and
indisputably their ancestral homeland.

Hey geniuses, they're the Indians in
this scenario.

Ariana Grande reposted that starving
people to death is a red line.

Well, who would know better about
starving, but...

But make no mistake, any famine that
happened in Gaza is because Hamas stole

the food, just like the Haitian gangs
do. Israel ran 94,000 trucks carrying

over 1.8 million tons of aid into Gaza
and enabled over 36,000 patients to

leave Gaza for treatment abroad, which
you TikTok historians might be

interested to learn are not things
countries usually do.

for their enemies during a war, and
certainly not what you would do if you

were trying for a genocide.

Gaza equals genocide is a lie, an easily
provable lie.

And the fact that so many prominent
Democrats go along with it is, to me,

the party's worst moment.

since they undid Reconstruction after
the Civil War.

Democrats are policing their candidates
really hard on this issue. Say it!

Say it's a genocide!

Say it!

You know, with Republicans, there's
something you have to

say, even though you know it's bullshit.
You have to say, Trump won in 2020.

This is the Democrats' version of that.

But words do have actual meanings.

Side means to kill.

Fratricide, kill your brother.

Homicide, kill your fellow human.

Suicide, kill yourself.

Genocide, kill or try to kill an entire
people.

You can't just change the definition of
genocide to mean counterattack in a war

where people, including civilians, die.

That's every war.

There have been about 73,000 deaths in
Gaza, about 3% of the population.

Tragic. Not genocide, not close.

There were 3 million Jews in Poland
before World War II.

After? 45,000.

That's genocide.

If you're one of the many people these
days asking, this explosion of anti

-Semitism around the world that we see,
where is it coming from?

This. This is where it's coming from.

Because if you really think someone is
committing genocide, of course you have

full permission to hate them. And
history shows, for whatever reason, when

it comes to hating the Jews, people
don't need a lot of permission.

All right, that's our show. I want to
thank my guests, Max Brooks, Sarah

Longwell, and Terry Bradshaw.

Club Random drops every Monday on
YouTube, or listen wherever you get your

podcasts. Now go watch Overtime on
YouTube. Thank you very much, ladies and

gentlemen.