Original subtitles

Here we go.

Sorry I'm so late, guys.

No kidding.

I've been here since nine.

Nine? You're on time today?

No, I was just really late for yesterday.

By the way, I need to leave early tomorrow.

Really early tomorrow.

Now.

Just be careful out there.

That's why I was so late. I almost got hit by a car.

Really? I once ate an entire jar of unpopped popcorn kernels.

What does that have to do with being hit by a car?

Nothing. I was just feeling left out of the conversation.

Here's the strange part.

When I went to yell at the driver, the car was empty.

As empty as this jar of unpopped popcorn kernels?

It must have been one of those self-driving cars.

I read that they've been testing them in the area.

You know, maybe we could use self-driving technology to create a cool

toy. Way ahead of you. I present the self-solving puzzle.

So much fun!

How is that fun?

I hate jigsaw puzzles.

I was thinking more an idea that isn't stupid.

Sorry, can't help you there.

What if instead of a self-driving car, we created a self-driving skateboard?

Even if you've never skateboarded before, you can stand on it and

instantly do all kinds of tricks.

Oh, that sounds awesome.

I'm gonna go work on it right now.

Well, as soon as I turn on the air conditioning.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

No, it's hot in here.

Buckle up and hold on tight You and me on a wild ride We're gonna

own it and change the game Together we'll make it all the way Through all

the ups and all the downs We'll always find a way around So here we go

Here we go Yeah,

here we go

You know, this popcorn you made isn't bad.

Do you want butter on it?

Where does the butter come out of?

You don't want butter.

Jarvis, I didn't know you could skateboard.

Wow, you learn something new every month.

I can't. This is the world's first self-driving skateboard.

The Ollimatic.

With this, even a beginner can do all these kickflips, switchfoot pokos, and a

bunch of other things with names that mean nothing to me.

That's so cool.

But it squeaks a little.

Do you want some butter to grease those wheels?

Say no.

No.

And Eric Thunder's gonna help us promote its launch.

You're kidding!

Who's Eric Thunder?

The founder of Epic Thunder?

And the greatest skateboarder to ever live!

All the other better skateboarders died skateboarding.

But Eric Thunder is coming here? When?

Three seconds after Eric Lightning?

This afternoon, we're gonna hold a skate-off.

Eric Thunder versus the Olimatic.

Are you going to get to skateboard against my hero?

Actually, Nox, you'll get to meet him, but... I want the world to see that the

Olimatic can be used by even the most uncoordinated, inept, bumbling doofus.

I'll do it!

Welcome to Knick Knack Chit Chat, the new podcast about what's happening here

at Knick Knack Toys. I'm your host, Piper Gray.

And I'm your other host, Geneva White.

Geneva, your last name is Hayes.

Oh, when you said gray, I thought we were telling people the color of our

teeth.

Anyway, today we're excited to tell you about our amazing new skateboard, the

Ollimatic, which gives the user a smooth, autonomous ride using laser

proximity sensors, gyroscopic stabilizers, and just a touch of butter.

And more importantly, the color matches my nails, see?

Geneva, this is a microphone.

Piper, you're in my shot.

Geneva, people can't see you over the microphone.

Because you're in my shot.

Is he here? Is he here?

Yes, I'm here.

Stop making everything about you!

Eric Fender should be walking through these doors any minute. That is not

how...

How does Eric Thunder enter a room?

Welcome to Knickknack Toys, Eric. I'm Jarvis. We spoke on the phone.

It's a pleasure to meet you in person.

I imagine it is.

Seriously, I often imagine what it would be like to meet myself.

And I imagine it would be a pleasure.

It's really cool to see you skateboard.

That I don't have to imagine.

My skateboard has a mirror.

But when you look down while skating, don't you just see up your own butt?

Yes.

Eric? Mr.

Thunder?

Would you sign my shirt?

Sure.

I am never washing this shirt.

I'm also never washing these pants.

I hate doing laundry.

So, who am I skating against in this, let's just call it, competition?

That would be me, Bowie.

I'm skating against him?

Isn't he kind of, uh... Klutz, doofus, fillard, oaf, goofball, quad, yutz,

clown, buffoon, blockhead, tool, donkey, dunce, dummy, numskull, nincompoop,

twit, halfwit, nitwit, dope, birdbrain, well-meaning but somewhat incompetent

young lad?

Yeah!

He's all of those things and more, but...

He'll be using the Ollie-matic.

the second half of my true reaction.

Bow wow.

Because that lame trick was a real dog.

Yeah, that was just a basic demonstration.

Obviously he'll do way cooler moves during the skate-off.

So the Olimatic can make someone like him a... Champion? Winner? Victor? Top

dog? Record breaker?

Cracker Jack?

Piper and Geneva have been using their podcast to promote the skate-off. A ton

of kids signed up to watch online as Bowie Sherman takes on Eric Thunder.

Actually, I decided I also needed a cool weather-related skateboarding name. From

now on, call me Bowie Mild Drizzle.

Well, Eric Thunder should be skateboarding down that track any

minute.

Since the accident.

Oh, no!

There's a new Epic Thunder outfit I don't have!

What happened? Did you have an accident on your skateboard?

Of course not.

I'm too awesome for that.

I was hit by a car.

And it was one of those self-driving cars, so there's no one to ask if it

really happened.

I hate to say this, but...

I won't be able to compete in the skate-off, which I totally would have

won, maintaining my status as the world's greatest skateboarder.

Yeah, it's a real bummer. But I can stick around and sell epic thunder t

-shirts, skateboards and helmets.

I can stick around and sell mild drizzle rain bonnets.

But you're gonna disappoint all your fans.

And Bowie's fan.

Actually, my mom can't make it. She said she has to do laundry.

Knox's laundry.

We got a great response to our first knick-knack chit-chat podcast, so I

thought we could start this episode by checking out some of the fan mail you

sent. Someone mailed us a fan?

Well, point it away from me. I don't want it messing up my hair.

No one can see you.

Besides, that's not what fan mail is.

Now, let me open the first one.

Good thinking, pointing it at yourself.

Your hair already looked bad.

Moving on.

Here's one.

Love the new show, especially Piper.

She's so smart and entertaining.

How can I meet Piper? I want her to be my new best friend.

Piper, you're amazing.

Do you have a fan club?

I have a fan club.

I use it to smash fans so they don't mess up my hair.

I got hundreds of emails from our listeners.

They love me!

That doesn't make any sense.

Like math.

Aren't there any emails about me?

Let's see.

Oh, here's one. Geneva.

Yay!

Love the show, lose Geneva.

I don't understand how you people could write those glowing emails about Piper.

And not just because I have no idea how email works.

I guess they just like me better.

That's because they can't see me.

But that's no reason to like Piper. I mean, look at her.

They can't see anything.

Her clothes, her hair.

I can't see anything.

Eric Thunder lines up the shot.

He putts.

It's a hole in one!

Whoo!

You're playing golf?

What? No, I'm not. This is my cane.

You're not injured, which can only mean one thing.

You have the ability to heal super quickly.

Let me see how it works.

Oh! Ow!

My nose.

Huh. Maybe you don't heal that quickly.

Which can only mean one thing.

You've been faking your injuries.

Not all of them.

The truth is, after I saw the Olimatic in action, I panicked.

I'm the greatest skateboarder in the world. I couldn't risk losing to a toy.

I hope you understand that's why I faked my injury.

Is this you not understanding why I faked my injury or still not

understanding that I don't heal super quickly?

Welcome to another episode of Knick Knack Chit Chat, whereas P. Everett

Knick Knack would say the P stands for Piper.

I'm your host, star, and fan favorite, Piper Gray.

Also here, my sidekick, Geneva.

Geneva, what are you doing?

Making sure people will be able to see us from now on by setting up a video

microphone. Or, as it's called in the biz, of a microphone.

I think you mean a video camera.

Well, I think you mean... You really, really mean...

People only liked you better because they think your voice is prettier.

It's not fair!

You've been training your voice with all that singing you do, but my voice isn't

trained at all because I never answer the phone.

It's not that my voice is prettier, it's that people like what I have to say.

Then there's no reason not to use the v-microphone.

Welcome to Knick Knack Chit Chat, where you can now see what the P really stands

for.

Pudgin' Eva.

Welcome to Knick Knack Toys for the launch of the Ollimatic, the world's

first self-driving skateboard.

Now, I know you're all hoping to see Eric Thunder skate, but unfortunately he

was injured and won't be able to compete.

But I'm still here selling some awesome merchandise, including the new, totally

rad, Epic Thunder Rain Bonnet!

You've got to be kidding me!

And we'll still have an incredible demonstration of the Olliematic from

none other than Bowie Sherman.

Sorry.

Bowie mild drizzle.

And here to tell us what kind of tricks we'll be seeing is Knick Knack's

resident skateboarding expert, Knox.

Knox, why aren't you wearing any clothes?

Because I refuse to wear Epic Thunder anymore.

And that's all I own.

You're not gonna wear my stuff?

Not even the sick rain bonnet? Which, if you wear in the rain, will actually

prevent you from getting sick.

Come on, I'm your hero.

Not anymore.

I have a new hero now.

Bowie.

Bowie? Bowie?

Bowie?

Bowie?

Why is Bowie your hero?

Because he's here and not afraid to fail.

Even though he fails all the time. At everything.

He tells awful jokes, he designs the worst toys, and no one buys his rain

bonnets.

But none of that compares to how badly he fails with girls.

That doesn't stop him from trying and failing over and over again.

That's why he's my hero.

You hear that, ladies?

Who wants to date a hero?

Hey, if you're gonna throw up in those, you have to pay for them first.

Welcome to another episode of Knick Knack Chit Chat.

Now with video.

Which means instead of just listening, you can now see my gorgeous outfit.

And smell my delightful perfume.

some of our latest fan mail.

Love the show.

Especially Geneva.

She's so pretty and entertaining.

How can I meet Geneva?

I want her to be my new best friend.

Geneva, you're amazing.

I hear you have a fan club. Can I borrow it?

These emails are all for you!

Yay! Read some more!

You read them!

I can only read pictures.

And even those I have to sound out.

Now that people are looking at you, they don't care what I have to say.

I think we should go back to just being audio and get rid of the camera. I think

we should become just video and get rid of the microphone.

Well, no one wants to listen to me.

And no one wants to look at you.

That club won't work on me.

I'm not a fan.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Is it... Sorry, that fan's making a

lot of noise.

Welcome back to Nick Nat Chit Chat.

In case you were wondering how the Ollimatic's laser proximity sensors

work, it's simple.

It calculates location and distance by firing 150,000 light pulses at 0.3

meters per nanosecond.

It's working!

People love us!

We have 10,000 subscribers!

We're ahead! We did it, Geneva!

You can stop lip syncing everything I say now.

Geneva? Geneva!

Stop it! The segment is over!

Why did I think I could do a podcast with Geneva?

Why did I think I could do anything with Geneva?

Anyway,

time to see the Olimatic go head to head against... no one.

No one except Eric Thunder!

Wow, you heal quickly!

No, these casts aren't real.

Well... Except this one.

Wait. You faked your injury?

Why? Because I was afraid of losing.

But what Knox said made me realize that it doesn't matter if you win or lose as

long as you try.

Because if you don't try, you lose for sure.

Even when I try, I lose for sure.

All right, the rules are pretty simple. And yet I still forgot them.

Bowie will be riding an Olimatic, and Eric will be riding a standard

skateboard. It's not standard. It's epic!

Thunder.

Epic thunder.

The two of you can use any part of the building. You have to match each other

trick for trick.

First person to stumble loses.

That doesn't count. We haven't started yet.

Let's do this!

I'm gonna kick it up.

Everybody's gonna know my name.

Ain't no stopping, I'm on top of my game. And I'm not coming down.

I'm gonna kick it up.

I've been working just to win this fight.

And I'm gonna take the prize this time. Cause I'm on fire now.

I guess there's nothing that the Olimatic can do that Eric Thunder can't.

Oh, yeah?

Now it's your turn!

like Bowie and the Olimatic Wind!

Help me need a hospital.

Nice try.

We know you're faking again.

Hoping you would somehow make Bowie's win not count.

I'm not faking.

I fell off a seven-story building.

Look at me!

I can't look at you.

You disgust me.

Wait! Hospital!

Epic Hospital!

Okay,

I might actually make it.

neck toys but i've always wished there was a knick-knack fan club well now

there is this fan smash stick new toy works on all kinds of fans desk fans

box fans ceiling fans

even hand fans i'm p everett

knickknack the p stands for the fan club

I'm gonna kick it up I've been working just to win this fight And

I'm gonna take the prize this time Cause I'm on fire now I'm gonna kick

it up Kick it up Kick it

up Kick it up now Kick it up