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All language subtitles for Some Assembly Required s03e06 Joy Buzzer

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,189 --> 00:00:03,189 Scooby-Doo. 2 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:18,310 Empty box. 3 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:21,910 It's a shipment of 3,000 of Nick-Nack's newest doll. 4 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,370 Her name is Joy. 5 00:00:24,510 --> 00:00:25,510 Ow! 6 00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:29,970 Last name Buzzer. 7 00:00:31,550 --> 00:00:35,150 Joy Buzzer is the latest in Knick Knack's joke and prank toy line, which 8 00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:39,430 includes the electric shock-a-lit bar, the electric can opener, and this stun 9 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,430 gun. 10 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:45,130 It's not working! 11 00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:49,150 Yes, it is. It's a prank stun gun. You expect it to shock someone and it 12 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,150 doesn't hurt them at all! 13 00:00:53,330 --> 00:00:57,070 Anyway, this box arrived by helicopter and I need to get it down to the 14 00:00:57,070 --> 00:00:58,070 warehouse. 15 00:01:05,460 --> 00:01:08,580 Maybe it would be easier to push the elevator over here. 16 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:12,060 You're in my way. 17 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:17,920 This isn't gonna fit in the elevator. 18 00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:19,580 You need to think outside the box. 19 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:20,980 No kidding. 20 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,280 I tried thinking inside the box, but it was hard to concentrate with all the 21 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:25,400 painful electric shocks. 22 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:28,280 I mean something like this. 23 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:36,610 There. A lot easier than carrying a 200-pound box down seven flights of 24 00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:38,870 stairs. You still have to get it off this thing. 25 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:42,750 Whoa! 26 00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:47,410 Wow, I'm way stronger down here. 27 00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:55,370 The increased gravitational pull closer to the Earth's surface must have given 28 00:01:55,370 --> 00:01:56,470 me superhuman strength. 29 00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:01,950 Look, I started my own banana! 30 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,320 The box is empty! 31 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:14,020 There's a hole in it! Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have had it shipped in a knick 32 00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:15,020 -knack prank box. 33 00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:22,240 The coaster goes through every floor of this place! 34 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,180 The Joy Wizard dolls must be scattered all over the building! 35 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,580 So we'll just pick them up. 36 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,160 Ow! 37 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,620 This is actually the least violent response I've ever gotten trying to pick 38 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,620 up a girl. 39 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:46,080 and hold on tight you and me on a wild ride we're gonna own it and change 40 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:52,240 the game together we'll make it all the way through all the ups and all the 41 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:58,880 downs downs we'll always find a way around so here we go here 42 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,240 we go 43 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:46,890 You guys are doing a great job. 44 00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:49,070 Why aren't you helping pick these up? 45 00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:51,150 Yeah, it's so much fun. 46 00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:54,410 Ooh. 47 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,510 I would, but I have an important project to do. You know the knickknack character 48 00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:00,409 from the commercials? 49 00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:03,890 Well, we're gonna feature him in a funny little web cartoon for kids. 50 00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:07,170 You're making a cartoon while we do this? 51 00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,990 Yeah, if anyone should make a cartoon, it's me. 52 00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:11,710 I have a great voice for cartoons. 53 00:04:11,970 --> 00:04:12,809 I can do... 54 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:14,610 Heroic superhero mouse. 55 00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:19,810 Or an evil demon here to eat your souls. 56 00:04:21,269 --> 00:04:23,690 Wow, you do a great cartoon piper. 57 00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:26,850 I will make you suffer for that. 58 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:32,550 But I'm the actual voice of Cartoon Nick-Nack. 59 00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:38,390 I'm P. Everett Nick-Nack. The P stands for choose me. 60 00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:42,570 What about me? I practically am a cartoon. 61 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:45,870 Well, you do have a cartoony face. 62 00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:49,750 I meant that I'm funny and entertaining. 63 00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:56,130 I'm more cartoon than he is. I'm the only one who can drop an anvil on his 64 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,130 head and live. 65 00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:00,690 I think. 66 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:07,470 Fine. I'll help pick up the Joy Buzzers and Piper can make the cartoon. 67 00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:09,010 Really? Piper? 68 00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,110 But she's not cartoony at all! 69 00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:12,370 Why would you pick her? 70 00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:14,150 I have my reasons. 71 00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:22,910 Ow! 72 00:05:24,350 --> 00:05:25,350 Ow! 73 00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:27,710 Ow! 74 00:05:31,350 --> 00:05:32,950 Why are you getting shocked? 75 00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:36,830 Because I'm wearing a pair of rubber gloves I found in Mrs. Bubkiss' shed. 76 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,180 Take that cartoon, sit down and watch it. Okay. 77 00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:53,380 Are you okay? 78 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,720 Your butt is fine. 79 00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:57,820 My butt. 80 00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:59,420 My butt is fine. 81 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:02,940 Okay. 82 00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:07,220 I'm really happy with how the cartoon turned out. I think the kids are really 83 00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:08,220 gonna like it. 84 00:06:39,389 --> 00:06:40,850 So, what'd you think? 85 00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:46,870 Jarvis, did you like it? 86 00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,110 Oh, yeah. 87 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:54,330 I loved it. I love everything about... it. 88 00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:58,510 Really? Thank you. That's so sweet. 89 00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:09,310 Don't worry, I got this. 90 00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:13,370 Clear! 91 00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:18,790 Geneva, 92 00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:24,670 what are you doing? 93 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,550 I thought you were helping pick up the Joy Buzzers. 94 00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:27,850 I am. 95 00:07:27,890 --> 00:07:30,210 You know how they say fight fire with fire? 96 00:07:30,590 --> 00:07:34,790 Well, I figured if fire can fight fire, imagine what it can do to a doll. 97 00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:42,740 I have to imagine. 98 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:44,820 Kiva! 99 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,080 Wow! 100 00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:52,260 They should stay by fire with water. 101 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,400 Hey, Jervis, I just checked the Nick Nick website and noticed my cartoon's 102 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,199 not online. 103 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:05,280 Why didn't you upload it? I thought you said you loved everything about... it. 104 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,500 I do love everything about... it. 105 00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:12,660 That's why I didn't upload it. 106 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:16,440 I've been so busy watching it over and over again that I haven't had a chance. 107 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,300 Oh well, what are you gonna do? 108 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,520 Upload it? 109 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,000 Right. I will do that. 110 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,440 Great. 111 00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,680 Liar, liar, pants on fire. 112 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:29,540 Is it that obvious? 113 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,020 That your pants are on fire? 114 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:32,620 Yes. 115 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,909 Jarvis, can I talk to you? No, I'm busy. 116 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,750 Okay, I'll whisper to you instead. 117 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:48,730 Can you hear me? 118 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,670 I'll get closer to your ear. 119 00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:55,290 You know what? I can make time. We can just talk. 120 00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:58,090 Aster's not helping clean up the dolls. 121 00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:01,630 I don't know where he is. I think he's hiding. 122 00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:03,550 Bowie, I don't care where Aster is. 123 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:04,890 I have to finish this. 124 00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:06,430 What are you working on? 125 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:10,030 I told Piper I'd upload her cartoon to the Knick Knack website, but... 126 00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:12,190 I can't let anyone see that horrifying mess. 127 00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:15,750 So I uploaded it, but I disconnected us from the rest of the internet. 128 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:19,450 Piper will think it's online, but only people inside these walls will be able 129 00:09:19,450 --> 00:09:20,269 to see it. 130 00:09:20,270 --> 00:09:21,269 That's not true. 131 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,030 I'm inside the walls and I can't see anything. 132 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,070 Talking wall, have you seen Aster? 133 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,470 No. 134 00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:33,950 Okay, well let me know if you do. 135 00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:38,750 Isn't Piper gonna figure out that no one can see her video? 136 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:41,230 Not when she reads all the fake comments I wrote. 137 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:44,310 Amazing cartoon. 138 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,570 Love the severed head. 139 00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:48,890 The P stands for Piper. She's amazing. 140 00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:52,510 Your boss is amazing for giving you this assignment. 141 00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:54,410 You should find a special way to thank him. 142 00:09:58,110 --> 00:10:00,010 Bowie, you need to keep quiet about this. 143 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:01,270 I understand. 144 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:03,930 You want me to go back to whispering? 145 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,840 Your hair smells nice. 146 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:16,840 Jervis, have you seen all these comments about my film? It's amazing! 147 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,040 Or should I say, amazing. 148 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,640 It's weird, everyone who commented thinks there's an H in amazing. 149 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,660 That's... the British spelling! 150 00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:31,660 Your film is popular all over the world because it's on the World Wide Web. 151 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,720 Not the knick-knack only web, which doesn't exist. 152 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,800 Frankly, Mama's even brought that up. 153 00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:43,340 If all these people really love my film, maybe it could win an award. 154 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,560 I should enter it into a film festival. 155 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,200 You can't. Why not? I thought you said it was great. 156 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:51,880 Did I say can't? I meant can. 157 00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:55,420 Good idea. The Cannes Film Festival. 158 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:57,720 What? No. 159 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,420 You should enter it in a good film festival. 160 00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:03,800 Like the one we happen to be hosting here at Knick Knack. 161 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:08,000 We're hosting a film festival? I never heard anything about that. You haven't? 162 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,040 I'm shocked. 163 00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,040 What's the name of this film festival? 164 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,980 Uh... The Real Film Festival. 165 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,840 The Golden Real Film Festival. 166 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:24,280 Real as in a reel of film, not real as in what this festival is. 167 00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:26,140 Which is real. 168 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,920 OK, I guess I'll submit my film. 169 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:36,520 Guys, I know you're in the middle of cleaning up JoyBuzzers, but would you be 170 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:37,800 willing to stop and make short films? 171 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,600 Yes, let's go. 172 00:11:48,020 --> 00:11:49,200 Wait for me! 173 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,840 Everyone, welcome to the Golden Real Film Festival. 174 00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:05,720 A real film festival. 175 00:12:09,550 --> 00:12:13,330 We received submissions from all over the world, but incredibly, all five 176 00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:15,550 finalists happen to work right here at Knick Knack. 177 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:23,090 But only one of these amazing filmmakers will take home the coveted golden reel. 178 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:35,250 Our first short film comes from a short director, Astor Vanderberg. 179 00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,450 Here's his film, The Terminator. 180 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:44,500 In the pursuit of being fashionable, men continued to make outfits that were more 181 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:45,980 and more cutting edge. 182 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,120 But in the future, the outfits became too advanced and decided they didn't 183 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,120 need us anymore. 184 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:08,860 Today's judgment day. The day I judge these outfits. 185 00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:10,710 I don't like them. 186 00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:18,570 But for every outfit he would destroy, two more would rise. 187 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:20,990 The outfits had learned to reproduce. 188 00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:24,050 No! 189 00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:28,610 I'll be barkless. 190 00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:38,630 Next up, we have a film by director Malcolm Knoxford III. 191 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,560 That guy sounds like a snooty, pompous jerk. 192 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,080 It's you-not. 193 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,860 Who said you could talk to me? 194 00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:54,960 I'm about to do the greatest stunt ever attempted. 195 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,700 And thanks to this camera I'm wearing, you'll have a first-person view of my 196 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:00,700 death. 197 00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:02,120 Defying stunt. 198 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:08,140 I will ride the roller coaster track, including the corkscrew, the 60-foot 199 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:13,800 drop, and the two loop-de-loops through two dozen panes of glass on a motorcycle 200 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:18,140 while doing a handstand with a mouth full of bees. 201 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:29,740 I almost forgot my hand. 202 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,160 None of us can watch. 203 00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:57,580 Whoo! I did it! 204 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,200 What happened to the bees? 205 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:04,560 Did you swallow them? 206 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,720 Maybe. 207 00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:14,760 Our next director, Geneva Hayes, has an Oscar. 208 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,480 As well as Peter and Ethan and Andrew. 209 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,260 Those are her dates tonight. 210 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,340 I didn't understand that movie at all. Why are you dancing the entire time? 211 00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:50,180 Ah. 212 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,140 Swallowed bees. 213 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:57,640 Our next film, from director Bowie Sherman, stars two of my least favorite 214 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,200 actors. Bowie Sherman and Bowie Sherman. 215 00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:11,339 You put your right foot in You put your right foot out You put your right foot 216 00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:15,910 in And you shouldn't get all about... Sorry. 217 00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:19,089 Sorry. You know who I am? Yes, sir. 218 00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:21,210 So you know I'm looking for hokey-pokey-ers. 219 00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:22,470 Yes, sir. 220 00:17:26,270 --> 00:17:27,710 The key is to just relax. 221 00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:30,610 Don't worry about your left foot, your right foot. 222 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,890 Don't worry about what the other guys are thinking. 223 00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:34,150 You're here for a reason. 224 00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:35,310 Have fun. 225 00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:37,990 Five, six, and... 226 00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:47,680 You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot 227 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,680 in. A little trouble there. 228 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,520 You're rushing. 229 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,960 Here we go. 230 00:17:54,660 --> 00:18:01,460 Five, six, and... You 231 00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:05,080 put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot 232 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,080 in. 233 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:12,140 Were you rushing or were you dragging? 234 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,880 I don't know. Rushing or dragging. 235 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,660 I don't know. 236 00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:18,940 Watch me. 237 00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:20,700 You put your right hand in. 238 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,280 Put your right hand out. 239 00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:27,840 You put your right hand in. Not again! 240 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,840 And you shake it all about. 241 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,100 You put your right hand in. You put your right hand out. You put your right hand 242 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:41,020 in. You put your right hand out. You put your right hand in. You put your right 243 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:44,880 hand out. You put your right hand in. And you shake it all about. And you 244 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:49,400 shake it all about. And you shake it all about. And you shake it all about. You 245 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,740 do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. 246 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:57,160 And that's what it's all about. 247 00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:04,370 Okay, I guess that's it. 248 00:19:04,550 --> 00:19:06,310 We'll just let the real judges confer. 249 00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:09,550 Hey! 250 00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:11,570 What about my movie? 251 00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:13,350 You're gonna show my film, aren't you? 252 00:19:13,650 --> 00:19:14,650 To people? 253 00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:21,490 Who have probably already seen it since it's so popular on the web. 254 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,270 Can't think of a reason not to. 255 00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:25,550 Nope. 256 00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,800 The judges seem to be taking a really long time choosing a winner. 257 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,540 Really? Because I think they're taking a very believable amount of time. 258 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,740 Ladies and gentlemen. 259 00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:58,600 And Bowie. 260 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:04,200 The very real Golden Real goes to... Piper Gray! 261 00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:06,160 The P stands for pay. 262 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:30,280 What about Best Actor? Who won that? That also went to Piper. I wanted that 263 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,280 golden reel. 264 00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:33,780 It matches this bar some guy gave me. 265 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,600 Where'd you find this? 266 00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:39,580 Guys, guys, calm down. 267 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:41,780 It was a fake film festival. 268 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,820 But it says right there that it's real. 269 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,140 This whole thing was just to fool Piper. 270 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,600 Okay, whatever. 271 00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:51,120 I don't care if you guys are mad. 272 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,000 At least Piper's happy. 273 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,280 Because you are an award-winning actor. 274 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,620 Save it! I know why you did all this. 275 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:14,880 You do? 276 00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:18,440 So you know I put on this fake film festival and paid those judges to say 277 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,780 they liked your creepy cartoon because I love... Making me look like a fool! 278 00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:27,560 Huh? This is clearly another one of your pranks. Like the Joy Buzzer doll. 279 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,280 I'm so mad I could fry you with this. 280 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,140 Got me again, prankster. 281 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,240 At least I know these work. 282 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:41,470 May I just say in my defense... 283 00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:31,190 I wrecked it by Piper! 20253