Original subtitles

Isn't it funny how we ended up on the same bus again?

You chased it down the street, leapt off an overpass onto the roof and punched

your way in through a window.

I didn't want to be late for work.

Jarvis, just stop.

It's clear that you're falling in... to that hole.

That's why I said, Jarvis, just stop.

I didn't want you to fall into that hole.

Huh. Hey, Jarvis, while you're down there, would you mind helping me dig?

Ow.

Knox, why are you digging a hole in the courtyard?

I wanted a dirt bike, so I'm making one out of dirt.

What is this?

A complete failure to understand the term dirt bike.

No.

This.

Wow.

That must have been some turkey dinner.

See if you can find a giant sweet potato.

Or a giant piece of broccoli that's been chewed once and then spit into a giant

napkin.

This isn't from a giant turkey, you giant turkey.

From the size and age, I think this is a leg bone that belongs to a dinosaur.

Well, we should find him and give it back.

He couldn't have gone very far without a leg.

Just think, there was once a big lumbering beast with a tiny little brain

right here in this very spot.

Can you picture that?

Don't worry, I'm coming, Dino!

Yeah, I can picture that.

Through all the ups and all the downs, downs We'll always find a way around So

here we go! Whoa!

Here we go!

Whoa!

Yeah, here we go! Whoa!

You got me!

I got you!

Here we go!

Wow,

you brought a big lunch!

All my mom packed for me was this giant piece of broccoli.

Not my lunch. It's a dinosaur bone.

If I can extract DNA from this bone, we can create clone dinosaurs.

What? Why would we do that?

We're always looking for the next must-have thing for kids. What kid

wouldn't want a real live dinosaur?

The kind of kid that doesn't want to become real live dinosaur food?

I'm not letting you create a 40-foot T-Rex.

It's too dangerous.

I've seen that movie.

And the sequel.

And the other sequel.

And the reboot.

But... But nothing.

Piper. Let it go.

Fine!

And Bowie, eat your broccoli.

Fine!

Jarvis, there you are.

Knox, you're wearing a suit.

And not the kind that starts with bathing wet at birthday.

Don't call me Knox.

Call me Malcolm Knoxford the Third. My father, Malcolm Knoxford the...

Second?

Second, is this super successful businessman and thinks I'm a total screw

-up. So, I told him I was the president of Knick Knack Toys.

You did?

Yeah, and he was so proud, he decided to come visit me at work.

When's he coming?

Like, one second ago, when the elevator went ding!

So, this is your company, huh, son? All the toys, colors, roller coasters.

Little juvenile, would you think? Yeah, none of that's for me. I'm all about the

business. That stuff's for my employees.

Good thinking. If they think work is fun, they won't mind if they're grossly

underpaid, huh?

So you work for my son?

Yup, and he's a great boss.

I'm... I mean, a cruel, tyrannical boss who squeezes every ounce of sweat out of

his employees.

That's my boy.

So what is it you do here?

Oh, me?

I'm the... Angry goth techie.

Doesn't look very goth.

That's why he's angry.

Grr.

You can change into your regular goth clothes now.

Thanks, Mr. Knoxford.

But clock out first! I'm not paying you to change your pants!

I can't believe Jarvis won't let me clone dinosaurs.

He can be so bossy.

Just tell me about it.

What are you doing?

Usually my chauffeur woos for me, but it's his day off.

I mean, I fired him.

Because he wanted a day off.

Well, I've met your angry goth techie.

Who puts metal studs on the inside of pants?

Who seems even angrier now. But I, uh, wouldn't mind meeting some of your other

underlings.

Why is Knox wearing a suit?

Why are you wearing my pants?

Inside out.

Knox told his dad he's president of the company and that I'm the angry goth

techie. Just play along.

Guys, this is my father, Malcolm Knoxford the I forget.

Hello? So what fabulous new project are you working on for my son?

For your son? My boss?

My only boss?

from this bone. No, we're not. Quiet, freak!

Well, keep up the good work.

Aren't you worried children will be killed before they buy all the

accessories?

We'll just have to sell them up front as part of an overpriced deluxe package.

So what is it you do, young man?

Uh... She's the Bowie.

What's a Bowie? I don't know, but we need one.

Yep, I'm the Bowie. The creepy, mysterious Bowie.

And this is our gorgeous but ditzy receptionist.

Hi.

Piper. I really don't want you cloning a dinosaur.

Sorry, I'm just doing what my boss wants.

Though I am not happy about being the Bowie.

Geneva, what are you doing?

Just cleaning.

Knox told me I'm the cleaning woman from Miskatania.

I had no idea I was born there.

Then what's Mrs. Bumpkiss doing?

Look like a boy.

I am a boy.

And you still work for me.

I don't work at all.

Okay, I get that a 40-foot T-Rex might be a slightly dangerous toy.

What if I could make a safe... A tiny dinosaur.

A tinosaur.

How you gonna do that?

By combining the dinosaur DNA with the DNA of something very small and weak.

What's up, dudes?

I'm the product safety tester.

Like a little bit of Aster's blood.

Okay, that's enough, Aster. I really just need a small amount.

Seriously, I know you're just trying to help, but that is way more blood than I

need.

Anyway, here's the dinosaur.

Aww.

Wow, that little guy's adorable.

Thanks, but I'm of average height, dude.

Very impressive, son.

How'd you create that thing?

Well... First we extracted DNA from the bone marrow and... Not you, useless

Bowie I hired for some reason.

You're the techie. You explain it.

Oh. Well, first we extracted DNA from the bone marrow.

Then a little of this, little of that. Boom, boom, boom.

Dinosaur.

Way to bore us with science speak, nerd.

Well, I'm just amazed how cute and docile he is.

Told you.

Master, something's breathing on my neck.

And unless you're on stilts, it can't be you.

Keep your eyes open for that.

I'm trapped in here.

I'm supposed to be a Miskitanian cleaning woman, but I realized I don't

speak Miskitanian. Can't teach very hard language.

Oh, I already learned it.

I took an online course over lunch.

It helps that I take a very long lunch.

Up to that point, I had just been faking Miskitanian by speaking gibberish.

I'm amazed no one noticed.

Bumpkiss noticed.

Very good ears.

And long...

Anyway, now that I know Meesketanian, I need someone to practice speaking it

with. And you speak fluent Meesketanian.

Kids speak bad tooth.

Bubkis means you can't speak bad tooth.

Well, you don't have a drawer full of teeth.

And you can't leave to go to the dentist.

There's a tiny dinosaur on the loose.

I'll have to pull it out for you.

Don't you mean his office?

Right. His office.

Yup. I love all this creepy, depressing stuff.

Obviously, it's his office. Why else would there be all these pictures of

him?

This won't hurt a bit.

This will hurt a bit.

I just wanted you to know the difference.

What tooth is it? They're all kind of rotten.

I'll just yank them all to be safe.

I know you're nervous.

Don't worry.

We just need some sort of knockout gas.

I meant for you.

Gee, the lack of humility before nature that's being displayed here, um,

staggers me.

You promised me it would be tame!

Don't you mean she promised me?

Whatever!

Didn't you mix in Aster's weak, tiny, frail, pipsqueak DNA?

Yes, but some other DNA must have also gotten mixed in. DNA from some angry,

ferocious creature.

Well, until we figure out what to do, it's not safe to leave this room.

It's also not safe to stay in this room!

Classic chaos theory.

I think.

I didn't really understand that movie.

to do something. It's going to break through the door.

Someone's got to go out there and stop it.

It needs to be the person with the best chance of survival. Okay? The strongest.

The most athletic.

Good luck, Aster.

Me?

Of course you.

Who am I going to send?

Bowie? Or the Bowie?

You're the product safety tester.

Danger. Let me back in! Let me back in!

Oh, hi, Mrs. Bubkiss.

I came to first, so I decided to get started.

I can explain.

No need.

I see what's happening here, Mrs.

Bubkiss.

I pulled off your face and that is your creepy bony skull.

I don't hear Astro screaming anymore.

He must have gotten over his fear.

No, I think he's dead.

What are we gonna do?

Send flowers, maybe a catered meal.

Well, in the movie and the sequel and the other sequel and the reboot, they're

always saved when the dinosaur is attacked by a bigger dinosaur.

We don't have a bigger dinosaur!

We have part of one.

What are you doing, son?

You are an important executive, not one of these expendable lackeys.

He's a very expensive designer.

Oh, never mind. I'm dressed like Knox.

Enjoy your meal.

Hey, pick on someone my own size.

Me.

Going, going.

Someone else's problem.

Wow.

I heard of T-ball, but not T-rex ball.

Stop it.

You're too poor to chortle.

Wow, that tooth just won't come out.

I guess we'll just have to give up.

On the pliers and try drilling.

Is it safe?

Yep, the dinosaur's gone. You can come out now.

Oh, good.

Oops.

Sorry, Mrs.

Bubkiss.

Mrs.

Bubkiss, your teeth are all over the floor.

Luckily, we have a mescatanium cleaning woman.

I'm gonna have to charge you for a teeth cleaning.

I don't understand.

Why are you so good with a bat?

And you, you were almost killed.

You're supposed to be indestructible and hard-headed.

I'm not.

I'm destructible. I'm very soft-headed.

I have to use a gentle shampoo, not for my hair, for my head.

Why would you pretend to be something you're not?

Nobody should live a lie.

You should be who you are and be proud of it.

You're right.

It's time I admitted to all of you and myself that I am... I'm not really the

president of Knick Knack.

What? As I was saying before, I was so rudely interrupted.

It's time I admitted to all of you and myself that I actually love this tank

top.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I knew you'd be disappointed, so I made everything up.

Until today, I'd never even chortled.

I just don't have the business gene.

Malcolm, you looked me straight in the eye and lied to my face?

You do have the business gene.

I'm proud of you, son.

Come on.

I'll show you how important it is to make a point of hiring women.

Really? That's great.

Oh, you got that right, fella.

You can pay them 60 cents on the dollar.

Uh... How about instead I teach you how to ride a dirt bike?

Here at Knick Knack, we're always trying to bring you amazing new products.

That's why we combine DNA from a Tyrannosaurus Rex with DNA from

something very small and weak. Hello! And DNA from someone with the business

gene.

To create the perfect dinosaur for your office or workplace.

And you can pay them even less than women.

What are you doing in our commercial?

I'm P. Everett Nicknack. The P stands for prehistoric.

Yeah, like some people's attitude toward women.