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Here we go.
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Previously on Some Assembly Required.
Are you from around here?
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From Miskatania.
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Mrs. Bubkiss, I followed all your advice
with Soros. She was so impressed, she
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showed me her pampushkis.
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Which, as you know, are traditional
Miskatania puff pastries.
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Bowie, you know how you told me Jarvis
loves me?
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Well, if I said it, it must be true.
Because I always tell the truth.
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Anyway, can we talk about this later?
I'm late for a flight and the plane
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can't take off without its pilot.
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When Piper first started at Knick Knack,
I knew she was smart, but I didn't know
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much else about her. Over the last year,
I've seen so many different sides of
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her. I think I'm in love with her. She
feels the same way about you.
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I doubt that. Piper doesn't like me.
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I have to accept that we're just meant
to be friends.
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Jarvis doesn't love me.
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I have to accept that we're just meant
to be friends.
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This is crazy.
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Jarvis and Piper are in love and no
one's doing anything about it.
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No one but me.
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I'm making it my mission to get those
two together and nothing will distract
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me from it.
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Fly me to Miskatania?
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Fly you to Miskatania?
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Sure, let me get my hat.
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Piper doesn't love me.
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Maybe no one loves me.
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I guess I'm hideous.
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Really, really hideous.
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Like some kind of monster.
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I'm not that... You don't make it work.
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I just feel so alone.
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Spoon me?
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This feels nice.
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Are you talking to the furniture?
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Yeah.
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You don't talk to your furniture?
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I like that look on you.
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Very colorful.
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We need to cut the Rainbow Bunny order.
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Its sales are way down.
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Really? But it's new and improved.
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Not only does it poop rainbows... but
now they're edible.
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Though they still taste like poop.
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I'll tell Bowie. He's in charge of
everything poop related.
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You can find Bowie.
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I haven't seen him around.
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I wonder where he is.
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Wow, you can go pretty far with the
right hat.
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So, we'll be in Miskitania soon.
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Or in a long time. I don't really know.
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But what do you want to do when we get
there?
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I was going to suggest we check out a
museum,
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but I like your idea better.
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Hello, Captain Bowie speaking.
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Bowie, where are you? About 35,000 feet
in the air.
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34,000.
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33,000.
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What are you doing?
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Are you fuzzing his gun?
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Airplane mode?
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That really matters?
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Buckle up and hold on tight.
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You and me on a wild ride.
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We're gonna own it and change the game.
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Together we'll make it all the way.
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Through all the ups and all the downs.
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We'll always find a way around.
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So here we go.
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Here we go.
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Yeah, here we go.
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That wasn't so bad.
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A crash landing is still a landing.
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Welcome to Miskatania.
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Wow.
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Miskatania is beautiful.
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Uh, that's Ziskatania.
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Miskatania this way.
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Well, any place will be a paradise with
you.
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But I never got to taste your
pampushkis!
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Knox, what are you doing?
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Geneva took a break and asked me to fill
in for her.
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Excuse me, I bought this rainbow bunny
and it's not working properly.
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So sue us!
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I'm also filling in for Bowie.
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What seems to be the problem?
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It's not pooping rainbows?
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Not the way it's supposed to.
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It's got dire rainbow!
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Can I get a new one? I kept all the
packaging.
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Raindrop Rabbit?
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This isn't a knick-knack toy.
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It's a cheap knockoff.
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We need to get to the bottom of this.
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Here's the bottom of this.
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Even crinkly, I'm pretty.
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Geneva, I need your advice.
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I'm on a break.
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I'll get Knox.
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No, I need you for this.
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I mean, guys, I don't know. It just
happens.
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There's this guy I've been into for,
well, years, but I need to move on, get
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out there, meet someone new.
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Is there some trick to it?
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Not really.
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Right?
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Well, assuming that doesn't work for me,
which it doesn't,
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what should I do?
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Just try to date a guy you have stuff in
common with.
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Like, right now you're interested in
finding a guy, so you should try to meet
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a guy who's also interested in finding a
guy.
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As for you two, I'm on a break.
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I just went shopping and you'll never
believe what I bought.
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I thought I was filling in for Geneva.
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No, these are toys I bought in the same
store where that kid got Raindrop
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Rabbit. Fat Cat, Angie, Presto Pack?
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Why would you buy knick-knack toys?
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I didn't. These are all knock-offs.
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This isn't Fat Cat, it's Fat Rat.
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And this doll isn't Angie, it's Pangey.
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And that's Pesto Pack, a knockoff of
Presto Pack, our magic set.
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No, this is an actual package of pesto I
bought at the grocery store.
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I'm making linguine for dinner.
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Huh. Pansy might actually come in handy.
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But someone's selling cheap knockoffs of
our toys.
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And they're all made in Miskatania by
some company called Knock Knock Toys.
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I found their number online.
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I'm gonna call them and give them a
piece of my mind.
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Jarvis. Jarvis who?
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Jarvis Raines.
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Good one.
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Proceed six feet, then turn left at the
garbage fire.
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Continue on the current route for 6,000
miles.
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00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,309
Awesome, I'm totally gonna get my steps
in today.
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Hello, former Captain Bowie speaking.
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A wolf stole my hat.
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Sorry, Captain Wolf stole my hat.
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Bowie, are you still a Miskatania? I'm
not sure.
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Yes, I'm still a Miskatania.
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Great, I need your help. Is this about
Piper? I'm telling you, she likes you.
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Still don't believe you.
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And this is not about Piper.
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Piper.
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Jarvis, can you hurry this up? I think
Captain Wolf is coming back for my
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pants.
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Sorry.
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There's a Miskatanyan company that's
been ripping off our toys.
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I need you to find them and get some
evidence.
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Sure, what's the name of the company?
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Knock Knock.
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Who's there?
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That's the name of the company.
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That's the name of the company who?
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I'll just text you the details.
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I did not see that punchline coming.
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Guess what? I met a guy who's into all
the same things as me.
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Punk music, horror movies, long walks in
the cemetery.
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So what happened?
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He asked me to give you his number.
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00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:55,540
No, thank you. He sounds like someone I
would hate to spend time with.
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What's the point?
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I'll never meet anyone. My life stinks.
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You know what you should do?
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You should volunteer on a teen helpline.
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00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:08,900
Okay, I get it. You want me to see that
my problems aren't that bad and that
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there are people way worse off than me.
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00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:13,640
No, I want you to meet someone who has
things in common with you. Someone
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miserable and lonely who hates the
world.
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00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,320
The kind of guy who calls a teen
helpline.
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00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:21,780
Those do sound like my people.
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00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:26,280
Great. There's an app that lets you sign
up as a helpline volunteer.
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The calls get routed right to your
phone.
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00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,700
There, you're all signed up.
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I'm getting my first call.
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00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,200
Teen Helpline? What seems to be the
trouble?
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It's the girl I work with. She won't
leave me alone.
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00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,040
She wants me to help her meet a guy, but
it'll never happen.
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How do I get out of this? How?
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Wow.
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The knock-knock building is a knock-off
of the knick-knack building.
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Cheap knock-off.
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00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,720
This place is a knockoff of everything.
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Master's desk.
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Boing.
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Mrs. Bob Kiss.
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Mrs.
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Gunniff.
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Trespassing. Trespassing?
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This isn't the bakery?
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00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:08,060
I just wanted to taste your pampuskis.
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00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:09,700
What?
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00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,580
That's not slang for anything, is it?
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00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:14,940
No.
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00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,520
Teen Helpline?
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00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,820
Your family's moving to Lethbridge?
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00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,860
That's like 12 hours from here. Can't
help you.
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00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,800
Teen Helpline.
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00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,620
You don't know what to get your
girlfriend for her birthday.
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00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,860
How about nothing? If she really loves
you, she won't care. If she breaks up
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00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:42,860
with you, call me back.
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00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,240
Teen Helpline.
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00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,420
No one likes you because of your bad
breath?
203
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:54,340
Would you say it's garlicky or more of a
sour milk smell?
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00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,220
Ooh, egg salad? Can't help you.
205
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,680
What doing?
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00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,200
What doing you?
207
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:13,440
I know you've been knocking off all our
toys.
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00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,780
Who you work for?
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00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,960
Knick-knack. Who there?
210
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,460
This is not a joke.
211
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:23,980
Okay, okay.
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00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,900
Come sit office talk.
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00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,320
Fine.
214
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:31,360
But this sack of potatoes is a terrible
knockoff of me.
215
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:32,740
Where's the tie?
216
00:13:39,189 --> 00:13:41,110
There's knockoffs of everything in here,
too.
217
00:13:41,330 --> 00:13:45,110
The action figures, the snapple desk,
even the monster chair.
218
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,600
to pull up a couple chairs and talk
about this.
219
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,940
Well, they're already a chair. I'll just
get one.
220
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:25,640
No, that's mine.
221
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,480
Hello, soon to be former, former Captain
Bowie speaking.
222
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:32,500
Bowie, did you find any evidence that
they're up to no good?
223
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,920
Yeah, a hair.
224
00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:41,330
Sounds like Bowie's in trouble.
225
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:44,790
We've got to go to Miskatania and save
him. In ten minutes.
226
00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:46,330
What? Why?
227
00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:48,010
I'm on a break.
228
00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:52,130
Teen Helpline?
229
00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:56,690
You're locked in a room being roughed up
by a Miskatania monster?
230
00:14:59,010 --> 00:15:00,010
Bowie?
231
00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:02,590
Can't help you.
232
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,170
Teen Helpline?
233
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,550
No one will talk to you.
234
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,080
Not your friends, your teachers, even
your family?
235
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,720
Gotta go.
236
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:19,180
Excuse me, I'm looking for Piper Gray.
237
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That's me.
238
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:21,460
That's me!
239
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,320
My name's Felix.
240
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,700
I run the teen helpline. Uh-oh.
241
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,960
I wanted to talk to you because I
noticed more helpline calls going to
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00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,420
your phone than anyone else's.
243
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,340
Look, I can explain. No need.
244
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,400
It's obvious what's happening here.
245
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:38,120
You took all those calls because...
246
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,020
You really love helping people, just
like me.
247
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,940
Yep, I'm a people person.
248
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:47,740
I knew it.
249
00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:51,380
I feel funny doing this because I
certainly didn't think my helpline would
250
00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:55,100
ever be used to find a date, but would
you like to go out with me sometime?
251
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,519
How about now?
252
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,520
I'm free now!
253
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,120
Thanks for coming along, Mrs. Bubkiss.
254
00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:14,220
We need someone who can translate
Miscitanium into English.
255
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,900
I guess we should have brought someone
who also speaks English.
256
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:22,720
Okay.
257
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,700
Let's go save Bowie.
258
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:31,780
Wait! We can't just go in. We'll end up
like Bowie. Ew.
259
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,880
All creepy and friendless with that
weird smell?
260
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:37,700
No.
261
00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:40,990
Captured or beaten up? Bowie could be
anywhere in the building.
262
00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:46,630
But we have no idea where.
263
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:00,690
If only he could send us a signal.
264
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,940
Some kind of a sign.
265
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:14,740
Any sign?
266
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,339
He's in my office.
267
00:17:17,859 --> 00:17:19,180
You work here?
268
00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:21,020
Get him!
269
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,420
I mean where my knockoff office must be.
270
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,480
We need to get there without going
through the building and getting caught.
271
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:34,760
The loop-de-loop is coming up. Pick up
the pace and hold on to your babushkas.
272
00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,470
I told you to hold on to your babushka.
273
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:44,650
Oh.
274
00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:48,370
Bowie, you're alive!
275
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:55,730
I can't understand you. Let me take off
your gag. Wait,
276
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:57,090
I speak gag.
277
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,480
He wants us to take off his gag.
278
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,740
At least he stares on a knockoff, Varus.
279
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,620
The ones at knick-knack go up.
280
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,280
I don't have time to explain to you why
that's dumb.
281
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,040
We've got to get Bowie out of here.
282
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,040
Goddamn.
283
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,260
Mrs. Bubkiss, you grabbed the wrong
Bowie.
284
00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:43,850
An easy mistake, since he put on the
tie.
285
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:52,910
Mrs.
286
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:55,270
Bumpkiss, where are you going?
287
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:56,950
Pretzels.
288
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:02,290
Who are you?
289
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:08,070
Jarvis. Jarvis Raines. The joke never
get old.
290
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:12,570
We're from Knickknack Toys, and we know
you've been ripping off our products.
291
00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:13,950
Who?
292
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,070
They don't understand.
293
00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:18,050
Mrs. Bubkiss.
294
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,590
Explain to them why we're here in
Miskitanian.
295
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:39,800
Mrs.
296
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:43,200
Bulcus, she doesn't understand anything
you're saying.
297
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,120
Because your mouth is full of pretzels.
298
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,100
Get this!
299
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,560
My pretzels.
300
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,700
I think that's meant for me.
301
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,120
We gotta do something!
302
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:10,620
Do something!
303
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,440
Aha! A knock-knock-knock-off of
Nick-Nack's chemistry set.
304
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,720
These things explode.
305
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,300
One blew up my house.
306
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:19,580
It did?
307
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,100
Bowie, you were there.
308
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,380
Oh, yeah.
309
00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:26,840
Take this.
310
00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,860
Even the defective toys are defective.
311
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,440
I can't believe the Muscatanian jury
made me the new owner of the company.
312
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,380
And the judge let me keep this cool
wooden hammer.
313
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:51,600
Which is a cheap knock-off.
314
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:56,820
Like everything else around here.
315
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,100
I'll just get my digital.
316
00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:05,920
I guess we can fix this place up now
that we own Knock Knock.
317
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,140
Who is there?
318
00:21:07,870 --> 00:21:10,330
No, I was just using Knock Knock as the
name of this company.
319
00:21:10,610 --> 00:21:13,410
No, I was just using Knock Knock as the
name of this company. Who?
320
00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:17,110
I wish this gavel wasn't broken.
321
00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:23,110
I don't actually get his jokes, but I
don't want him to feel bad.
322
00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:31,450
That was a smooth flight.
323
00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:33,510
Captain Wolf really knows how to land a
plane.
324
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,270
What's wrong? Aren't you glad to be
back?
325
00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:41,910
You mean back here where Piper's never
gonna love me? She does love you. I keep
326
00:21:41,910 --> 00:21:44,050
trying to tell you you're the person she
wants to be with.
327
00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:48,370
Come on. I know this great little
restaurant.
328
00:21:48,610 --> 00:21:51,950
And instead of eating, we can buy meals
for the undocumented, underpaid,
329
00:21:52,030 --> 00:21:53,250
exploited kitchen staff.
330
00:21:53,890 --> 00:21:56,070
And then we can even wash the dishes for
them.
331
00:21:57,530 --> 00:21:58,530
Sounds great.
332
00:21:58,670 --> 00:21:59,950
I love people.
333
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,390
Look at that.
334
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,760
I've never seen her so happy
24563
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