Original subtitles

For your home-viewing pleasure, join us for a loving look at 30th anniversary

playmate, Penny Baker.

Then, a mansion memory, the Village People, in a lively performance of Are

You Ready for the 80s?

I wasn't one of those cute little girls that every little boy wanted to carry

the books for. In an exclusive Playboy interview, sex symbol Morgan Fairchild

reveals her innermost thoughts.

I didn't want to be Grace Kelly. I wanted to be Sophia Moran. I wanted to

be sultry and dark.

Next, a portrait of a man and his work.

Playboy photographer Richard Fegley.

Then we go behind the scenes with the creators of an irreverently funny parody

of Playboy magazine.

It was the best-defined, most institutionalized magazine in America.

And for us to be able to sink our teeth into such a juicy project was to us

nirvana.

In Playboy's own version of Candid Camera, you'll see some pranks you

wouldn't see anywhere else.

Smile, you're on candid camera.

Use the word fuck in three different sentences with three different meanings

for me, please. Okay. I got fucked.

Okay. What the fuck's going on?

This is fucking crazy.

And finally, we journey back into the Old West for a tall tale of a young

cowboy's first taste of love.

Let's begin with the Playmate calendar for 1984.

Since 1958, Playboy has published calendars featuring Playmates.

This form of pin-up art has remained popular throughout the years, and early

Playmate calendars are now collector's items.

Playboy continues this tradition with its 1984 calendar, bringing to

bookstores pictures of girls that you see not only in the pages of Playboy

magazine, but also on Playboy Video.

It took James Joyce seven years of constant research and diligent editing

to create the classic novel of the modern era, Ulysses.

Uh, cut.

Mr. W., let's just take a little sip this time. Very well, very well. All

right, take two.

It took John Milton 12 tortuous years to complete Paradise Lost, a

rambling poetic discourse on original sin.

Written ironically by a blind old man who took it up the ass. Cut!

Please, can we stick to the examples that we agreed upon? Yes, very well.

It took Robespierre 17 years to conquer the provinces of France and behead a

large portion of the aristocracy, itself the bloodiest carnage to hit Europe

since the atrocities of the Inquisition.

Now there is this atrocity. Cut!

Sir, we really need your cooperation here.

Young man, just roll your camera and watch an altar work.

Here we go.

The truly great works of art take no time at all.

Citizen Kane was slapped together in a week by the war of the worlds on a

toilet seat.

What really takes time is driving a flourishing career straight into the

ground, taking flaming genius and...

sticking him with this time store swill. Cut!

That's all for today.

No, no, wait. I'll get the file, too. No, no.

I'll tell you.

Is he okay?

What'd he say? Did you hear what he said?

He started to ask for a rosé, but he changed it to bud or something.

A Portrait of a Playboy Photographer Richard Fegley

Basically, I think you could say I'm an outdoor person.

I'd like to shoot outdoors, best of all.

And when I mean outdoors, I mean really getting away from it all.

Down at the beach or up in the mountains.

There's a question that a lot of people ask. Are you a people photographer or

are you a place photographer?

The other category of photographer is shooting people in places.

That's the best combination.

Just let's just take this light here. Just bring it in from around from the

back a little bit more I think part of photography that I really care about is

lighting. I love lighting I'm experimenting with the light constantly

always trying to come up with another way to see pictures During any shooting

I work with many different kinds of cameras and Basically after we get our

lighting said I like to start shooting with a 35 millimeter

And I've been using my same Nikons for about the last 10 years.

And it works well for me.

Basically, I have three lenses I use in the studio most of the time, which is a

50mm, an 85mm, and a 105mm.

Outdoors, I may go into some longer lenses.

Ten years ago, Mary Jo and I were married.

Probably the most stabilizing thing I could have done is to have this

relationship with my wife.

A lot of people find it very unusual that I have a wife who can put up with

me working with nude women all the time. His job at Playboy has never bothered

me. I like him so much that it doesn't really matter to me whether he's a

banker or owns a little grocery store in the corner.

The man, as I relate to him, that I really enjoy.

Take a ride around the park.

Take a carriage ride.

I suppose the image that people have of a Playboy photographer is that they are

lecherous and always out chasing girls, where I found that this is not the case.

That they are very interested in their home life, very devoted to their family,

and they are not what people think that they are.

Richard does travel quite a bit, extensively.

I'm a flight attendant, so it does allow me the privilege of traveling with

Richard quite a bit.

And it's always fun to meet him in some exotic place.

When

shooting

the centerfolds, or the gatefold as we call it here we use an 8x10 camera which

is a very large stationary camera and because of that there's absolutely no

maneuverability with the camera so we have to already have our pose pre

-planned which is part of the 35 millimeter test shooting because with

the 8x10 you don't move at all but the reason for using a camera like that is

it gives you this incredible quality

The bigger the film, the better sharpness you're going to get when it's

blown up to the centerfold size.

That's good.

Okay, right now. Shoot it.

I think in the 10 years I've been at Playboy, I may have shot about 25

centerfolds.

One of the reasons is that I do so many other types of photography at Playboy.

The most I've ever done is five in one year.

In fact, I think that's the most anybody's ever done in five in one year.

But the average is, for any photographer, is three or four.

Whatever you do, Shannon, don't move forward or backward. The focus is

extremely critical here.

A few years ago, I had a great opportunity to do an assignment for

Playboy where in the book division, the editor in charge asked me if I'd like to

do a book.

And it was quite an honor because at that time, no Playboy photographer had

ever done his own book.

So we talked about it and came up with a concept which...

It was perfect for the way I like to work, and it was shooting 12 women all

over the world, each one in a different exotic location, and put it together and

called it Dreams.

Working at Playboys has really been a great experience as far as seeing the

world. I think that probably having that much opportunity to travel makes

this job really special.

I love it. I wouldn't want to work anywhere else.

There was a young man of Madras.

whose balls were constructed of brass.

When jangled together, they played stormy weather, and lightning shot out

of his ass.

So right now I want us all together just to say the word fuck three times. Here

we go. Fuck. Fuck.

When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today.

Smile, you're on Candid Camera.

Presenting the Playboy Candid Camera.

Hello everybody, I'm Alan Funt. Welcome to a Candid Camera show that's a little

different than anything you've ever seen on commercial TV.

I enjoy doing this show because it's...

Not double meaning, and it's not suggestive. We don't try to be coy.

We call this show the Candid Candid Camera because it's like the other

Candid Camera shows, only a little more so.

For example, if you come along with us now, we're going to take you to a

horseback riding stable where a young lady is going to be taught some of the

fundamentals of riding.

Her teachers are going to be some cowboys who volunteered to get her

started. And here comes the young lady now.

Now, what are you going to do?

Well, everybody said I should ride bareback. They said that was the best

way to do it.

Well, what do you want to learn about bareback riding?

What should I know about it? How to get on in the first place.

Okay. So it's okay if I ride bareback, though? Sure. I don't care how you ride.

Good.

Well, we're going to teach you how to get on.

Okay.

They said this is the way to ride it.

Get up there once and let's find out.

What are

you

doing? Is it safe for her to be on the horse with a bare ass that way?

That's as safe as it is with her pants on.

Only thing, tomorrow or next day, she's going to have it. But she thinks that

this is bareback.

Isn't it? Let her try it once.

Put your foot up here and go on. This man really knows.

She's really going to ride bareback.

When a horse is well behaved, the rider often gives it a pat on the neck.

But here's a time when the rider gets a pat, and really not on the neck.

Okay, thank you.

Is there some value in riding without your britches?

Well, all I know is the Indians did it that way.

Without their britches?

Yeah. I thought they took the saddle off the horse.

Well, that's bareback riding. Call it bareback riding. What do you call the

other? Well, I don't know. Skin riding, I suppose.

This is what they mean by bareback.

I've seen all... kinds of people ride bareback but with their pants on.

Say that again?

They were doing it wrong.

I'd like to ask you, is there such a thing as a dirty word, or does it all

depend on who says it and where?

If James Joyce in one of his famous novels uses a four-letter word, does

that make it any cleaner than the same word used by a carpenter when he bangs

his thumb with a hammer?

Well, you're about to hear some words that you'll rarely hear on television.

So I warn you, if you're sensitive about this, watch out.

But on the other hand, maybe it's good if you learn to use any word in the

right place and time without fear or fuss.

In any case, come on, join this class, which is about to begin. The subject is

linguaphobia. Good afternoon.

We are here this afternoon to discuss the implementation of a new course that

will be offered at our local community college.

This course will be a branch of our English department, and it will be

called Linguaphobia.

Linguaphobia specifically deals with the fear of words.

We will be talking about words that have a shock value or a fear value in our

culture. For example, the word fuck.

Now the word fuck a lot of times when you see it on the movie screen will

immediately create a real aversion in some people. So right now I want us all

together just to say the word fuck three times. Here we go.

Fuck, fuck,

fuck.

Let's turn now to the word that has a great deal of shock value, cocksucker.

And the word cocksucker, I want each one of you to use it in a sentence. It can

be a long one or a short one, unless you start with you, ma'am. You haven't given

me a sentence yet.

You're a real cocksucker.

You're a cocksucker.

You used it in the homosexual connotation. Now use it in a connotation

referring to something that a female would do. Could you give me a sentence

along that line?

Are you a good cocksucker?

just asking a lady a question I don't do that

I'm sorry I

couldn't hear you very well what did you say I said I call my husband that every

time we have a fight okay ma'am can you give me a word that perhaps your son or

daughter or you know what you would have as a connotation of a dirty word

I don't know what the word cunt means.

I don't know.

Nobody's ever said that word to me. I never heard it up until now.

Seriously. Never? Never heard it up until now.

Cunt.

What does it mean?

What's that over there?

Well, it's time for you to meet the lady who's going to do the paperwork.

This is strange for a conference room, you know?

There's a pretty strange subject for a candid camera, too.

Yeah, it's a little more risque.

Say it.

Say it any time.

It doesn't bother me anymore. Five years ago, I wouldn't have said it. You can

say it right now.

Say it. Fuck you.

This is fucking crazy.

Our tale of the Old West, The Raffle.

The winning of the West has created many legends, like the James Brothers and Bat

Masterson. Others were about lesser-known people involved in intimate

incidents.

These stories were kept alive by the old campfire storytellers.

The tale the old man is telling concerns a youth of 18 who lost his virginity to

the most beautiful woman in the world. It happened a while back in the mining

town of Corner Creek, Nevada.

This town has seen better days, although there's the usual saloon, general store,

blacksmith shop.

What the town has never had is a beautiful woman until now.

Entertainer Lily Lamour, the most beautiful woman of pleasure, is due to

stop in Corner Creek for one night on her way to San Francisco.

Every man and boy in town would pay any price to spend this one unforgettable

night with Luscious Lily, but her price for a night of pleasure, $1,000, is

beyond their means.

The blacksmith of the town thinks of a plan.

To hold a raffle at $1 a chance.

The drawing consists of 1,000 chances.

The lucky winner gets the $1,000 pot and the opportunity to spend the night with

the goddess of love, Lily Lamour.

Jeremy, the shy blacksmith's helper, is the only male in town who didn't even

buy one chance.

The blacksmith has collected only $999.

There is one chance still for sale.

A smithy offers it to Jeremy.

Jeremy says he can't afford it. A dollar is a week's pay.

Lily is planning a quiet evening alone.

She can't wait to relax in her tub.

No one in Coroner Creek can afford her.

Jeremy blurts out that he has come to spend the night with her.

Doesn't he know her price for an evening of pleasure is $1,000?

There's the money. Does she want to count it?

Lily is touched by the shy young man.

Lily, with all her experience, realizes that this is Jeremy's first time with a

woman. It's been a while since she's been with a boy.

Jeremy feels his heart pounding, grateful that the soapy water covers his

excitement.

The men have never heard a story like this. It sure warms a feller up on a

cold night.

Hold on a minute. The story isn't finished.

When Jeremy knocked on Lily's door, he was a scared kid.

But after one night with Lily, she taught him more about loving than most

men learn in a lifetime of living.

A boy of 18 came into this room last night. A man of 18 is leaving it.

For him, it was an experience he will never forget.

Lily, however, seems puzzled. How could a blacksmith's helper afford a thousand

dollars?

Jeremy tells her about the raffle.

How most of the men in town emptied their pockets to buy chances to win a

night with the fabulous Lily Lamour.

Jeremy was the lucky winner.

Lily is moved.

All those men gambling their life savings for the chance of sharing her

bed.

But only Jeremy knows she is worth a thousand dollars.

Although his dollar is a week's pay, it is the best money he has ever spent.

This night with Lily has changed his whole life.

He will never forget her.

She also will remember this night, and as a token to recall their night of

love, Jeremy's dollar will be with her for all time.

Lily will never part with it, for Jeremy has awakened in her tender feelings.

Lily wants Jeremy to have a keepsake from her.

She gives him a silk garter.

as a remembrance of their night together.

The storyteller has finished his tale of Jeremy and Lily.

The cowboys do not believe a word of it. They've heard some tall tales in their

time, but this is the tallest yet.

Does he think they're fools?

Why, no one in their right mind would believe that wild yarn.

Coming soon, the sprawling saga so vast it sweeps the others aside.

Their passions are destroying their own. This is Empire.

The Waringthins, the wealthiest family in America.

Carter Waringthin, billionaire industrialist trapped by his own

boundless ambition.

Of course I want the business to grow, but there's nothing left we don't own.

Jennifer Waringthin, the woman who knew him better than she knew him herself.

But darling, you don't own the rest of the world, do you?

Holstead brought me the papers this morning.

It's just not fun anymore.

The Waring Thins. Together they control 78% of the corporate wealth of America.

And it's not enough.

Eric, goalless, frustrated, and self-destructive.

I'm leaving you because I love you, Eric.

But I can offer you everything.

And Amy, who loved him too much to marry him. But if you give me everything,

you'll still have everything plus me.

And you'll only become more goldless, frustrated, self-destructive.

Without me, you don't have everything.

And that's why this is our last time together.

God, I'm hot. Me too.

Julie, caught between hating her love for the man she dared not want and her

love for the hatred for her want of the need of his love, and Father Dan, the

brilliant young doctor, torn between his love for Julie and the knowledge that he

is both her psychiatrist, her priest, and her brother.

What's wrong, Dan?

Brother? Father?

It's nothing, Julie.

Sis, my child, it's nothing at all.

Brett, insecure child brought up in an exclusive boarding school, now a twisted

man bent on revenge against the father he could only see by appointment.

And Alexandra, the only thing she hated more than Carter and Jennifer and Eric

and Amy and Julie and Dan and Brent was herself.

Wearing thin international, oil, aerospace, banking, shipping,

agriculture, drugs, prostitution, cancer research, disaster aid, armaments and

leisure suits.

Find out who shot everybody on the special six-hour premiere of Empire.

Playboy has been parodied since the first decade of its existence, by

universities from Harvard to Berkeley, by respected humor magazines such as

England's Punch, and Playboy has even parodied itself.

1983 has brought a double assault, with Playboar, featuring former Playboy cover

girl, Barbie Benton. And now, Playboy the parody.

Playboy on the Scene went to New York City to meet the creative team that put

together Playboy the parody.

Its staffers come from National Lampoon and Saturday Night Live. Their previous

efforts produced best-selling parodies like Off the Wall Street Journal and Not

the New York Times.

We asked publishers Jerry Taylor and Edward Shane why they decided to parody

Playboy. To us, Playboy was the ultimate book. It was the best-defined, most

institutionalized magazine in America. It had the best graphics. It had the

best writing. Everybody knew it. Everybody knew what it was, what it

stood for. And for us to be able to sink our teeth into such a juicy project was,

to us, nirvana.

So then you have to find interesting ways of presenting the sexual aspects of

it.

So we thought of, and then Playboy is a lifestyle magazine as well. Well, you

put those two things together, say lifestyle, well, that includes cars and

gourmet and hi-fi and wines and things like that. And we started discussing

that. We thought, why don't we do Tasting the Great Wives of California?

And it was like a freakout, because you have three wives, and they're spread

open, and they're waiting to be tasted. Now the panel gets down, or goes down,

as the case may be, to the job.

And these wives are from the Ingle Nookie, a quinyard, and they are never

opened until the age of scent.

It was wonderful.

We wanted to have something that you could play with the magazine with. I

mean, you know, create your own, like a busy box.

That's how we developed Make Your Own Playmate. If you want a girl who's

blonde with a black muff or a girl who has dark hair with a blonde muff or a

redhead, then we have one with kind of sort of regular tits and one a little

better and one a little more. So we thought, give them a chance to do their

own number.

Deciding on the centerfold probably gave us the most problem.

We had 112 candidates on the list, and we had some pretty wild candidates. I

mean, you know, you have to say all of these things in order to get them out

first. Indira Gandhi, nah, it's not sexy enough.

Then you were Margaret Thatcher. Then we said, well, how about Jamie Farr?

You know, he always dresses as a woman and will put his head on a woman's body.

Now, Hefner, wow, yeah, let's do Hefner. Who cares?

You know, so there's a naked guy, even if Hef said he wanted to do it.

And finally, we wanted to pick the woman who more people would like to get

a Playboy centerfold look at. The ideal girl next door.

Whenever we have parodied anything, we've had to mimic exactly the feel, the

style, the look, the cost of the book. Now, you could do a cheap version. And

what you have is a cheap version. But Playboy doesn't do a cheap version.

So in order to look like Playboy, you've got to spend the money.

At this point, I would say that we feel that this is the parody to end all

parodies. Our biggest problem right now is we have no idea what to do next.

Playboy may be the capper on the bottle.

Playboy interviewer Larry Grobel talks to Hollywood femme fatale Morgan

Fairchild.

Morgan Fairchild was born Patsy McLennie in Texas 33 years ago.

A shy, introverted child, her mother started her acting in community

theaters. At 14, she was runner-up in the Miss Teenage Dallas contest.

At 23, after the breakup of her six-year marriage, she officially changed her

name. She became a model, went to Hollywood, and landed a role in the

daytime soap Search for Tomorrow.

A bitch was born.

She followed that with Flamingo Road, which brought her national fame.

When that program was canceled, she made a movie about voyeurism and obsession

called The Seduction, which she now regrets doing.

I was not happy artistically with how it turned out, so I don't want to do

exploitation things.

I want to do something good.

After appearing in a Broadway play, she's now putting together another TV

series, looking for other movie scripts, and trying to find the right man.

How many times have you been told that a good bitch is hard to find? Oh 500.

Because I'm always pleading to play something else, and they're always

saying, yeah, but we can get an ingenue anywhere.

But it's very difficult. I finally started seeing what they meant, because

it is very difficult to find someone in my age range who looks like me, who not

only can walk and chew gum at the same time, but can actually come in and take

over a scene, which is what you always have to leave up to the bad character,

frequently runs the scene and is the keynote to the energy and the focus of

the scene.

And if you don't have somebody giving you momentum from that, particular side

the scene won't go anywhere um so i i take it as a compliment that they keep

casting me that way in a way the only thing is i don't i don't want to do that

forever i mean i want a chance to do some other things too now you and and

jane fonda both have framed pictures of marilyn monroe in your homes or offices

i always want to ask you what does marilyn symbolize to you marilyn

symbolized for me i think what she symbolized for probably jane and for for

a lot of people of our generation was um an incredible vulnerability

that got lacerated by human nature

and

Being an extremely vulnerable person myself, which is another thing that most

people don't realize because of some of the bitch characters that I play, is

that actually the bitch character is sort of the antithesis of what I'm

really like in person and that I am still that shy kid and very vulnerable

and very easily hurt and trying to survive in this world and in this

town.

uh with all of the things that people do to each other all the time when i was a

teenager i never thought i'd survive to being 21 just from the pressure of i

couldn't believe the way people did things to each other how uncaring they

were and i've sort of kept that over the years that's another thing i never

wanted hollywood to

to blunt for me was that same feeling of of caring for another human being no

matter who they are which is what you see a lot in this town is everybody

cares a lot if you're famous but uh superficially but um one of

the guys i was going out with for a while commented one time because we'd

been at a a big dinner, and he was saying on the way home, he says, you

know, the funny thing is you talk to the waiters the same way you talk to Herb

Ross, you know? It's like you treat everybody the same, and I do. I mean, I

just believe in treating everybody as people, as what you'd want to.

Now, when you were a kid, did you dream of growing up to be like Marilyn Monroe,

or was that a fantasy? Oh, I always wanted to be gorgeous and sexy.

I can remember in the first grade daydreaming about coming back to my

first grade class in a silver sequined gown and all beautiful and grown up and

sexy and everything.

But I never thought it would ever happen.

I mean, in the 50s, you either were going to be very pretty or you were

going to be very smart and develop a personality.

And I always figured I'd better develop smarts and a personality because there

was no way the other was going to happen.

So it sort of caught me off guard when I got to be a teenager and suddenly people

started thinking I was attractive because they never had before.

I wasn't one of those cute little girls that every little boy wanted to carry

the books for.

So it caught me off guard when suddenly people, you know, you'd walk into a room

and people are staring at you and it scared me at first because I didn't know

why.

Is your IQ really over 140? Is that part of your PR?

It's not something I try to push, no, but it is actually, yes.

I haven't had my IQ tested since I was 11.

I mean, if you're really interested, it was 127 when I was 6 and 147 when I was

11. I haven't had it tested since then. Well, that happened in the years 6 to

11. Yeah, but I mean...

A lot of people, it upsets me sometimes when people do sort of talk down to you

because you're blonde and you're an actress and all of that kind of stuff,

and then don't take into consideration that I'm quite capable of abstract

thought. You don't have to talk down to me. I may not have a degree in physics

or something, but if you can explain certain things like that in layman's

terms, I can usually pretty well follow it.

Speaking of being blonde, the silly question. What?

Do blondes have more fun? Definitely.

I always wanted to be Sophia Loren when I was growing up.

I did everything different from what they say to do when you're a little kid

in Texas and you're growing up. And I didn't want to be blonde. And my mother

would say, oh, but you're going to look like Grace Kelly.

And I didn't want to be Grace Kelly. I wanted to be Sophia Loren. I wanted to

be sultry and dark and this mad, passionate kind of thing.

And I never resigned myself to being the sort of bland blonde that I thought I

was going to be.

stuck being. That's another thing of when I decided I was going to make my

life an adventure.

I was going to be a blonde Sophia Loren.

I was going to take all the stuff that I like, the sultriness and the warmth and

the fire and all that kind of stuff, and I was just going to be a blonde version

of that. I mean, there's not much I can do about being blonde, but I just never

wanted to be sort of one of those washed out little southern women that age

gracefully behind their husbands having nice cocktail parties for the company,

you know?

Are you a monogamous person?

Yeah. Are you in a relationship at the moment?

I'm in transit at the moment.

When I am in love, it's very easy for me to be monogamous. If I'm totally

committed now, it's hell getting that commitment out of me. But once you've

got a commitment, then you've really got something.

It's just I've been burned enough times, and I am...

leery enough of things that I don't just commit right off the bat. I'm not one of

those people who goes out and two dates later, you know, hey, we both like the

color blue, why don't we move in together?

I mean, I'm not that kind of person.

Have you lived with anyone since your marriage? No.

Were you very in love when you married?

Well, yes, I think everybody's always in love when they get married, or at least

they think they are. How bitter were you when the marriage broke up? You married

for, I think, six years.

Were you very bitter?

i was devastated whose decision was it to leave mine

it was my decision to file uh mainly because uh

emotionally he had already left he didn't want a divorce i think he kept

saying he didn't but um but i couldn't live the way things were with us so i'm

the one who filed

Was it a case of infidelity that you were dealing with? It was a case of

everything.

What are your greatest fears?

I don't know at the moment. I can't really

think of a big fear of mine.

I'm a pretty fearless person. Sometimes too much so, people tell me.

Basically, fear is a no.

You know, fear is a no that you put in your way, just like somebody telling you

you're not going to get a part or you can't do drama or you're not funny or

all the other things that people can tell you that if you listen to them, you

might as well stop right there.

And fear is one of those things, too. Fear will stop you cold if you let it

get hold of you.

Now, your ex-husband used to say that you were like a little bird beating its

wings against a brick wall you were never going to get over.

Where did you hear that?

That's part of the research.

Is that true? That's true.

He was always encouraging.

Yeah, no, that's true. And where are you now?

I think I'm sort of... halfway up the wall and perched gasping for breath at

the moment and how hard are you flapping i'm just sort of i'm just sort of

treading water at the moment trying to get my bearings as to what i want to do

next and i'm just i'm in a real transition period of my life and my

career and everything of where i've had a large measure of media attention i've

had a large measure of fame and and not a large measure of

of response to go with it to whatever talent i might possess and and a lot of

people trying to capitalize on what i look like and and i'm tired of having

that capitalized on i don't i mean i would like to do fun parts where

maybe i would look totally different or where it would be a good part where i

could look like what i look like but not to just have exploitation

uh kinds of things offered to me so i'm just sort of i've just sort of pulled

back to to let some of the furor die down and and let people

get a new perspective and let me get a new perspective and see what happens

Hi, Leon here with an exciting new offer from the insurance company of Leon.

Today, we pay the police to protect us.

Sometimes we pay the police to protect us from them.

If you get mugged, you never see your stuff and they never find a dude.

Now, if a member mugger approach you in the park or the alley, he don't rip you

off. He don't mush you up. He simply...

Validate the sticker of Leon, which you display on your hat or your coat.

However, after 20 validations, you got to turn in your stuff to me, Leon.

But Leon, you may ask, what about a non-member mugger?

Here's the really exciting part.

The police, they never find the dude that ripped you off.

But at the insurance company of Leon, we know where the dude live.

And for $9.95, we bring the dude to your house, let you beat the living shit out

of him. Sound good?

God bless you, Leon.

Ain't nothing, baby.

So right today, the insurance company of Leon, a division of Leon International,

a wholly owned subsidiary of me, Leon.

There was a young lady named Gloria who was had by Sir Gerald de Moria, and then

by six men, Sir Gerald again, and the band at the Waldorf Astoria.

Boy's 30th anniversary playmate, Penny Baker.

Century City, Los Angeles.

The Great Hunt is on.

7,000 girls from New York to Hawaii are screened and tested by Playboy

photographers in the search for that one special anniversary girl.

The process of narrowing down the entries begins.

while the search goes on.

At the end, Hugh Hefner and the editorial staff gathered at Playboy

Mansion West to select the winner.

Well, I think all things considered.

Each one of the girls has a version.

Yeah, I find myself with mixed emotions. Yeah, it's not easy.

I would be happy if you said any one, and I'm unhappy if you said any one. No,

I'm true, and I really like them all. And I do, too. I think the penny would

be the... Buffalo, New York. Never had it so good.

It'd be good. Good on promotions. Good.

In the magazine.

Living Buffalo.

And the story would be much better.

We can have her in a slicker underneath Niagara Falls.

I can remember how excited I was when I found out that

I was the 30th anniversary playmate. Me, out of 7,000 women interviewed, I just

couldn't believe it. I was so excited.

It was cold outside, but I didn't feel it.

Like the future was in my hands, I had it made.

I grew up on a farm in Springville, New York. And I remember running around

without any clothes on, naked in the field at times.

I'm going out where the lights don't shine so bright.

I'm going out where the lights don't shine so bright.

When I get back, you can treat me like a Saturday night.

I would describe myself as a sensitive person down to earth as much as

possible. And I think that I really know what I want in life.

I have found that love isn't the easiest thing to find, and I'm not in a hurry to

get involved in a serious relationship because I want to find a good one, and

I'm willing to wait for it to happen.

I like real athletic type men.

I love their muscles.

Also, I love a man who can look real good in a suit, someone who's

sophisticated.

Besides looking good in a suit, a man should look real good, comfortable in

his jeans, out on the farm, bailing the hay, just like me.

During the summertime, I like to walk through the woods.

It's so peaceful and calm out there that you never had any problems.

And if you did have a problem, they went away so easily because you could be by

yourself and work them out.

I'm going out where the lights don't shine so bright

When I get back you can treat

me like a Saturday night

A few years ago, my ambitions were to be a professional model in fashion

magazines.

But now I realize that there's a lot more to an ambition.

Right now, I would love to be a successful woman, whether it be a

computer scientist, an architect, a housewife with a few kids on a ranch

somewhere.

Wherever my life takes me, as long as I'm happy, that's what I'd like to do.

I seem to think that my mother is very excited about me becoming a playmate.

She's happy because she knows how important it is for me to get out there

and accomplish something.

My parents were always supportive of me while I was growing up.

My mother was always around.

She would take me into Buffalo on modeling jobs when I only got paid $20

for a day in the gas mileage. Getting there would be ten times more almost.

And she was very helpful to me as I was growing up.

It's such a big contrast between the city and the country.

It's really nice to be able to enjoy the best of both.

New York is a wonderful place to me. There's no place I would rather be in

the whole entire world.

I'm turned on by New York because of its massive energy.

Because everyone in that city is trying to get somewhere. They're striving for

some sort of accomplishment.

I know I'm another one of those people, and I'm trying just as hard.

Just think to yourself, wow, I'm here.

and I'm part of this big world.

I love all the people in the city just as much as I did on the farm, but the

energy in the city is almost insane.

Every street in New York is totally different from the others.

I love the people. I love their variety.

On the weekends, I can escape everything by going to Central Park,

riding on the carriages, or see Rockefeller Center,

grab an Italian ice.

There's just so much variety that there's something to do wherever you go.

I think being a playmate is going to open a lot of doors for me in New York.

Anyone will want to work with me now, or a lot more people will.

Also, I can get a lot more notoriety.

I can get a boyfriend if I want a boyfriend.

The hardest part of starting to model in New York is to develop a portfolio.

It took a lot of work up early in the morning and no partying at night because

you had to look good the next day.

That was the hardest part.

But I would say I did pretty well.

Sometimes when I'm alone in New York, I like to envision a faraway place where

it's peaceful and serene, unlike the common hustle and bustle that I'm seeing

every day.

It's a place of peace and serenity.

It's a comfortable feeling that I can only have with myself, and I enjoy it.

It's unlike anything in New York.

I'm really happy with my life right now.

I always seem to fall into the right situations.

I guess that's why they call me Lucky Penny.