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1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:07,641
You know,
something really stinks in here.
2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,711
We are watching Fox.
3
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,048
Al, did you take out the trash?
4
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:17,385
I'll take it out
when there's enough for a whole load.
5
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:23,457
Okay.
6
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,761
I know you people are used to living
in a cesspool.
7
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:30,264
So you're probably not even bothered
by this garbage strike.
8
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:34,335
Wait a minute.
How can trash go on strike?
9
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,140
Hang up your fishnets
and stay in all night.
10
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:44,211
But on behalf
of the entire neighborhood...
11
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,113
...I demand that you do something...
12
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,883
...to improve the look of things
around here.
13
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,632
Now, I've done my part.
14
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:06,901
Marcie is absolutely right.
15
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,470
We have to get together
to get rid of this garbage.
16
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,272
Now, I'll hand you the bags.
17
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,307
You throw them over
in the D'Arcys' yard.
18
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,116
Go, go, go.
19
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:59,787
Oh, man, these guys don't hustle.
20
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,423
Lazy bums.
21
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,926
Bums is right.
22
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,900
Al, can you hand me that beer?
23
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,573
Can't reach.
24
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,611
Atten-hut!
25
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,350
As you were.
26
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,853
You are looking at 2nd Lieutenant
D'Arcy, National Guard Reserves.
27
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,723
More like GI-joke.
28
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:41,061
Hey, this action figure
is anatomically correct.
29
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:46,000
After living with Marcie all these years,
I doubt it.
30
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,003
What's the scam?
31
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,405
No scam.
I'll just say goodbye to Marcie.
32
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,941
-There's the scam.
-There's the scam.
33
00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:55,376
Hey, it's a great deal.
34
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:58,145
One weekend out of every month,
you get three hots in a cot.
35
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:01,215
You get to party with a bunch of guys
and you get paid.
36
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,651
Sounds like my ex-wife's job.
37
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:07,488
Uncle Sam will pay me to leave Peg
and the kids for the weekend?
38
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,757
You have to go through
basic training first.
39
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:11,992
But you don't have to go
to your regular job...
40
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,028
...and your boss still has to pay you.
41
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,865
I am suddenly feeling the need
to serve my country.
42
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,802
Oh, wait a minute.
Aren't we too old to join the reserve?
43
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,738
Well, you're pretty much too old
for everything.
44
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,608
But with my connections,
I can get you in.
45
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,147
That's the fighting spirit
we're looking for.
46
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,782
We'll be the few, the proud--
47
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,785
We'll be the best that we can be.
48
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:42,022
No, guys,
the National Guard's motto is:
49
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,692
"If it happens on a weekend...
50
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,194
...we'll be there."
51
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,968
I'm open. I'm open.
52
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,771
Eight touchdowns.
53
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:04,645
Hey, hey, let's do top bunks
versus bottom bunks now.
54
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,780
Al, I think it may be time
to hit the hay.
55
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,248
What? Are you old?
56
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,217
Yeah.
57
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,620
Me too.
58
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:16,490
Oh, man, this pillow is lumpy.
59
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,860
At least it doesn't have red hair
and begs for sex.
60
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,499
Man, this is the life.
61
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,207
Rise and shine, ladies.
62
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,776
Hope you had a good night sleep...
63
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,513
...because your nightmare
begins now.
64
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,584
-Do you hear me?
-Sir, yes, sir.
65
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,755
Am I disturbing you, private?
66
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,256
Al Bundy.
67
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,025
Al Bundy, sir.
68
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:54,128
Well, no one's called me sir
in a long, long time.
69
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:57,665
How about moron?
They've called you that, haven't they?
70
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,234
Sir, yes, sir.
71
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,202
Ladies' shoe salesman.
72
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,571
Well, you're in the reserve now.
73
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:08,275
-You're not in some candy-ass mall.
-You haven't seen my customers.
74
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,911
Every day it's the battle of the bulge,
right, Griff?
75
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,180
Who's Griff?
Somebody here called Griff?
76
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:17,718
Drop and give me 50, mall scum.
77
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,754
All I got here is this five.
78
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,823
Pushups, you idiot.
79
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:27,294
And your little buddies here too.
80
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:36,170
Okay. Top 10 reasons we're glad
your father has gone to boot camp.
81
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,640
Number 10, your father is gone.
82
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:45,012
Number nine,
he took his socks with him.
83
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,050
Number eight,
we don't have to hide the food.
84
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,251
Good.
85
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:56,256
Number seven, the drains flow free.
86
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:02,963
I think you know why I'm here.
87
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:07,134
All the flies in the neighborhood
have named you queen?
88
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,639
Peggy,
this is just some of the garbage...
89
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,609
...your obnoxious children
have dumped in my yard.
90
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:19,213
How dare you accuse
my obnoxious children?
91
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,316
There's no way that you can prove
that that's our garbage.
92
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,354
Color Me Cheetahs by Clairol.
93
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:32,092
Go, Dog, Go!
94
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:37,631
I can't believe you threw this out.
I haven't even finished it yet, Bud.
95
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:43,303
Bunch of dogs, big party,
nothing happens, the end.
96
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,839
Sounds like one of your dates.
97
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,743
Okay. You have two choices.
98
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,980
I can either bury you headfirst
in my compost heap...
99
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,883
...or you come with me
and pick up every piece of garbage...
100
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,751
...that you have dumped in my yard.
101
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:01,054
You mean since the garbage strike,
or since you've moved in?
102
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,993
You're not worthy of the Guard.
103
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,328
We're not worthy of the Guard.
104
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:11,165
You're out of shape
with butts of lard.
105
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,734
We're out of shape
with butts of lard.
106
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,203
Oink off, three, four.
107
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:19,940
-Oink off.
-We're sore.
108
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,245
I swear, you two are slower than snails
in molasses.
109
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:29,383
That's a good one. Coming from a guy
whose girlfriend starred in Babe.
110
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,054
I wish.
111
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:39,059
Oh, Griff.
112
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,995
I can't take it anymore.
113
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,163
I quit.
114
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:47,000
Al, you can't quit.
If you quit, you've got to go home.
115
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:54,975
Hey, wait a minute.
116
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:11,491
I can't climb this wall.
117
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:15,929
Sure you can, buddy. Don't quit.
Let me show you how it's done.
118
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,868
I can't.
119
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,238
It can't be done.
120
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,713
Nobody can possibly use skills
like that--
121
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,215
Running through tires,
waving your arms up in the air?
122
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,384
It's like screaming,
"Shoot me. Shoot me."
123
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,920
Don't tempt me, shoe boy.
124
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,022
Sir, good afternoon, sir.
125
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,925
And may I add your medals
are particularly shiny today, sir.
126
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,394
Why are you sucking up to this guy?
127
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,066
Oh, I get it.
128
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,068
So, high heel...
129
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,938
...are you going to finish this course
or not?
130
00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:00,240
Can't, sir. Tired, sir.
131
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,943
Then let me help you rest.
132
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,816
Well, good news, ladies.
133
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,853
You're getting that well-deserved
psychiatric leave, sir?
134
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,255
No, I've used them all up.
135
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:19,993
The news is basic training
is cut short.
136
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,296
Thank God. I'll pack.
137
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,563
I'll warm up the car.
138
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,999
Not so fast, maggots.
139
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,235
This unit's been activated.
140
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,437
We're going on a mission.
141
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,372
Permission to know where, sir.
142
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,908
Denied. Now go home...
143
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,777
...make love to your widows...
144
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:41,481
...and report back here
at 1600 hours.
145
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,918
Al, I'm scared.
146
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,186
You're scared?
147
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,822
I gotta go home
and make love to Peg.
148
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,328
We're in business, Kel.
149
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:57,397
I got the fan belt off
of Mrs. D'Arcy's Mercedes.
150
00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,534
It serves her right for making us
take our garbage back.
151
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,170
Okay.
I left the D'Arcys' attic window open.
152
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:05,539
-Are you sure this thing is aimed right?
-Yeah.
153
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,941
Now, I've calculated the exact
trajectory...
154
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:11,445
...taking into account mass, angle,
velocity and wind speed.
155
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,881
And, of course,
your complete lack of sex appeal.
156
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:19,319
-What does that have to do to with it?
-Well, I had so many variables.
157
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,922
I needed one constant.
158
00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:27,160
It's amazing how you can figure out
a difficult mathematical equation...
159
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,397
...but yet you can't find your way out
of a frat house.
160
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:33,567
I can too.
161
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,102
I just yell, "I'm pregnant."
162
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,971
And the next thing you know,
I'm out in the alley.
163
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,374
Okay. Let's let her rip.
164
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,042
Okay.
165
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,112
And here we go.
166
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,247
Pull.
167
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,316
Yeah.
168
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,387
What are you kids up to?
169
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,422
Recycling.
170
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,159
Well, family,
I'm off to fight the forces of evil.
171
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,994
That's nice, dear.
172
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,462
Will someone pay attention here?
173
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:06,900
They're having me go out to fight
horrible people, probably the French.
174
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,503
You may never see me again.
175
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,972
Dad, maybe I should join the Army.
176
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,174
I hear women
are attracted to men in uniform.
177
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,475
It's not the uniform, son.
178
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:19,446
It's knowing that he's been trained
to obey orders and eat crap.
179
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:23,316
Oh, no, Daddy is going away again?
180
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:26,686
Now,
this time he's joined the Post Office.
181
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,156
Don't worry, pumpkin...
182
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:33,026
...Daddy is not going to any place
as dangerous as that.
183
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:37,030
Kel, I thought you of all people would
recognize a man in a military uniform.
184
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:41,268
This is what they look like on?
Oh, my God. They're so cute.
185
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:43,970
Honey, you shouldn't say things
like that to Daddy...
186
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,940
...after he's just been trained
to use a gun.
187
00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,076
Peg.
188
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,211
Don't you want to kiss me goodbye?
189
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,281
Tonight,
I may be standing in harm's way.
190
00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:59,252
Al, I don't care where you're standing
as long as it isn't in front of Ricki Lake.
191
00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:01,688
Bud...
192
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:05,025
...until I come back, you're going to be
the man of the family.
193
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,426
Make me proud, son.
194
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,995
I will, Dad, and don't worry.
195
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:12,065
I'll keep all your Big 'Uns safe
and sound until you get back.
196
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,366
That's not necessary, son.
197
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,636
What the hell do you think
I got in this bag?
198
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,207
Daddy, be very careful.
199
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,075
Oh, Kel, what are you worried about?
200
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:26,046
The National Guard is nothing but a
bunch of Boy Scouts with beer bellies.
201
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:29,950
You take it all for granted, don't you,
you little pinkos?
202
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,585
Well, keep this in mind.
203
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,954
The National Guard
is the thin green line...
204
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,389
...that separates you
from total anarchy.
205
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:40,227
And I'm damn proud to do anything
my country asks of me.
206
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:45,198
I'm not doing it.
You can't make me pick up garbage.
207
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:49,669
You do what I tell you to do
and any more lip out of you and I'll--
208
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,139
Tell.
209
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,009
I wouldn't have done this
if it wasn't for you guys.
210
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:59,179
"Join the Reserve. See the state."
211
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,313
Excuse me.
212
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,549
Is this mission interfering
with your whining?
213
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,419
Now, these strikers are angry.
Watch your backs.
214
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,955
Oh, like I'm afraid of them
garbage men.
215
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,691
What are they gonna do?
Make noise early in the morning?
216
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,501
Run away. Run away.
217
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,773
Told you so.
218
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,644
And hit.
219
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,280
That was a good one, Kel.
220
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,216
You know, I kind of wish
Daddy was here to enjoy this.
221
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,617
Oh, I know.
222
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:41,154
I can't believe
he hasn't even written since he left.
223
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,424
Mom, he's only been gone
for four hours.
224
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:49,729
Well, in that case,
I guess I better get on with my life.
225
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,332
Maybe you should
throw over your father's clothes.
226
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,368
I could really use the closet space.
227
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,672
Look. I'm gonna have to adjust
this tension. Okay?
228
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,240
-Okay.
-Now--
229
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,742
Whatever you do,
don't touch that lever.
230
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,144
What, this one?
231
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,321
Cool.
232
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,826
Way to navigate, Jefferson.
233
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:24,431
I am your commanding officer.
I should be addressed as sir.
234
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:28,335
But if I called you sir,
what would I call your wife?
235
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,173
And for your information,
we're not lost.
236
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:37,177
Now, according to this map, we can't
be more than a finger away from base.
237
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,713
Which finger? This one?
238
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,282
Oh, very nice.
239
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:47,454
You owe the good people of Waukegan
an apology for that little gesture.
240
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:51,825
Lieutenant D'Arcy, I want to say this
in the most respectful way possible.
241
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:55,095
Get us home
or we're gonna frag your ass.
242
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,865
Come in, Ziploc team.
243
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:01,801
Are you out there? Over.
244
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:03,703
We read you, over.
245
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,906
Listen up, men. The Hefty team
is taking a big dumpster.
246
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:11,378
We need backup at 23rd and Addison.
Copy?
247
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,180
Roger. On our way. Over. Okay.
248
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:17,517
Okay.
We have to go through the auto yard.
249
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,519
-Griff, you should go first.
-Good idea.
250
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,855
I don't think so.
251
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,590
Let me rephrase.
252
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,725
I'm ordering you to go first.
253
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:29,262
Then let me rephrase. Bite me.
254
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,332
Haven't you ever seen a war movie?
255
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,702
The black man always gets it first.
256
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,872
What do you mean?
257
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,840
Jim Brown in The Dirty Dozen.
258
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,143
Laurence Fishburne
in Apocalypse Now.
259
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,779
Bubba in Forrest Gump.
260
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,516
Any black man in Star Trek.
261
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,885
We go in, test the waters,
get killed...
262
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,888
...and you white guys
go home to your families.
263
00:15:55,889 --> 00:15:57,924
See, we both lose.
264
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,964
Will you two pipe down.
The strikers will hear us.
265
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,666
Now, come on. Let's move out.
266
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,475
Come on, Griff.
267
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,510
Look out.
268
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,815
-Man down.
-Cover us. Cover us.
269
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,683
Gotcha.
270
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:27,921
Oh, Griff.
271
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,925
Griff, why? Oh, why? Oh, why?
272
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:35,595
That shell was meant for me.
273
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:36,996
Oh, listen, Al.
274
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,866
-Would you do something for me?
-Anything, buddy.
275
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,636
If I don't make it, would you look up
my ex-wife and--
276
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,405
And tell her that you love her?
277
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:49,242
No, tell her that she's a bitch.
278
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,748
You'll be able to tell her that in person,
buddy.
279
00:16:56,349 --> 00:17:00,653
Oh, my God, a grenade. Take cover.
280
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,957
It's an avocado, Jefferson.
281
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:09,262
Why don't you throw yourself on it
and we'll have guacamole.
282
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:14,234
I can't take the pressure.
I want my Marcie.
283
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,872
Come in. Anyone.
284
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,039
Help.
285
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,376
I can't help you, Ziploc. I'm alone.
286
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,546
I'm pinned under a dumpster
on the other side of the wall.
287
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,881
What should we do?
288
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,451
Pull out. Save your candy-asses.
289
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,820
You heard him. Let's go home.
290
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,291
I got some yolk in my ear,
but I think I can drive.
291
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:43,630
I'm going in after them.
292
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:44,931
Are you crazy?
293
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,366
Maybe so.
294
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:50,970
But I'm going to show that sergeant
that High Heel Bundy is no candy-ass.
295
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,592
I'm coming, sarge.
296
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,961
Forget it, High Heel,
you'll never make it.
297
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:18,865
The hell I won't.
298
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,540
-Sorry, sarge.
-You're a fool.
299
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,609
You'll never move this dumpster.
300
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:30,844
Oh, yeah?
301
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,813
You're looking at a man
who pried a 500-pound woman...
302
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,582
...from a size six pump.
303
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,807
Well, Private Bundy...
304
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,076
...you followed my orders
and saved the sarge.
305
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,879
Nice try, Panty Waist.
306
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:10,683
If anyone's a hero around here,
it's Bundy.
307
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,086
Gee, thanks, sarge.
308
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:16,923
I don't know but I've been told.
309
00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:20,793
Garbage stinks when it gets old.
310
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,063
Let's go have a beer that's cold.
311
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,500
And leave the Guard
Because we're too old.
312
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,769
-Sound off.
-One, two.
313
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,972
-Sound off.
-Three, four.
314
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:39,012
Bud, it's a good thing that you landed
on Mrs. D'Arcy...
315
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,714
...or you could have really
gotten hurt.
316
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:45,018
I am hurt, Kelly.
317
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:46,719
Stop whining.
318
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,556
The first time in months
you've been on top of a woman...
319
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,724
...and she even screamed.
320
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,397
Damn, I'm good.
321
00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:00,500
You know, Bud,
according to this insurance policy...
322
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,503
...if your father comes home
looking half as bad as you...
323
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,071
...we'll make a fortune.
324
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:18,418
The garbage strike is over
because Corporal Bundy struck back.
325
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,721
-Oh, Daddy.
-Oh, Al, you're home...
326
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,057
...and all in one piece.
327
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,792
How are my girls?
328
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:29,596
Bud, you bulked up
since I've been gone.
329
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:34,434
I'm in a body cast, Dad.
330
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,502
Well, it looks good on you.
331
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:39,706
Come on, Bud, I think Mom and Dad
would like to be alone.
332
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,674
Okay. Okay.
But just don't touch my--!
333
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,110
Don't touch my hand!
334
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,248
Oh, Al, I'm so proud of you.
335
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,418
You ended the garbage strike.
And you got a promotion.
336
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,922
Yeah, Peg,
I was awarded the Bronze Dumpster.
337
00:20:56,656 --> 00:21:00,560
You know, Al, all wars are followed
by a baby boom.
338
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,528
Let's repopulate.
339
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,464
Oh, Peg, I can't.
340
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:07,033
I was injured in battle.
341
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:10,637
I'm not the man I was.
342
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,105
Oh, great.
343
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:15,274
One injury
and it's a pre-existing condition.
344
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:37,230
Incoming!
25718
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