Original subtitles

Hey, hey!

Melody's home!

You are my favorite stepdaughter.

Uh, hello, Melody! Melody's home!

Hi!

Great. Can you guys help me blow up those balloons for the party tonight?

Sure. You okay?

Here, I'll take that.

Oh, why so heavy, Compton?

It's my weekend bag.

You didn't expect me to just bring one outfit, did you?

True.

All right, let's go over here.

You know, I love helping, but you just got a little, and blowing up balloons is

so boring.

I know, just take one.

You know what?

We'll make it fun.

I'll try to distract her while we're doing it, okay?

Thanks.

Hopefully she doesn't want too many balloons.

Don't be so weird.

What are you two doing?

I was just telling Melody that this should be more fun. Let's try to make it

fun. This isn't supposed to be fun, okay? The fun is for tonight at the

party. We need to get...

this place ready for the neighborhood, okay?

I want them to have a good time, I want them to have fun, and we are nowhere

near that, and I can't be the only one working here, so get to blowing up those

balloons, okay?

God, I hate it when she's like this.

It makes me wanna do the exact opposite of what she's asking us to do.

Can't we just be nicer about it?

I just got home.

having fun while we're coming.

I'm trying.

Harder than I remember.

Is this big enough?

That's what she said.

Cut it out with a dad joke.

Oh my god.

Did you know I used to be able to hold my breath for three and a half minutes

underwater?

That's...

Interesting. Do you want another balloon?

Do you want me to tie this?

Do you have a queef?

Do you know what that sounds like?

I don't know what that sounds like.

I'll finish tying that for you though.

She's gonna get serious.

You're gonna make me blow these all up by myself?

Are you serious?

You're making a mess.

She's gonna catch us.

Did your father fall

asleep? Uh, yeah, he fell asleep on my lap.

Oh my god, he's such a useless fuck.

Do not be like him, ever. You understand me? No, do not do what he does. He's bad

news.

I'm just gonna go.

I'll finish getting ready.

I was close so many times.

Yes, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop.

Hurry, hurry, faster.

for joining us.

Do you need me to carry you to bed or did you get enough rest to help me in

the kitchen?

Look, honey, we'll be in.

Okay, well, I'll be in the kitchen waiting.

Okay.

Look.

Was that fun?

Yeah. Well, if she's going to keep acting like that, we're going to keep

having fun.

Exactly.

Alright?

Okay. Great, finally some help around here.

I need y'all to help me count this stuff, because I don't think we have

enough for everyone coming tonight.

Okay.

Count them?

Isn't it on the package?

Yes, count them.

I think some are missing.

Oh, shoot.

Um, Melody, could you grab those for me?

There's only three of them.

One,

two... Where did Melody go?

Um, I think she went to change maybe for the party or something.

I'm telling you, this family is...

useless. This would never happen at the O'Brien's house. They all get along.

They all work together.

I don't want to have a really nice apartment.

I feel like no one can help me.

Look, I'm trying.

If you're trying, then like help me count the napkins or something. I think

there's something missing.

Okay. Oh my god.

I just... These counters are so dirty too.

Just the cleaner was just here.

Yeah, well, you know, not just the cleaning lady clean.

Who else does?

Be clean.

Well, I mean, yeah, I get it.

How are the napkins looking?

Do we have enough?

Uh, there's one, two, how many do we need?

There's going to be at least 170 people here tonight.

What? You know we invited the whole neighborhood. That's why I'm so

stressed. I just need a little bit of help.

Oh my God.

And I know everyone wants to have fun, but it's like we have work to do. We can

have fun later.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You're right.

What? You're right. We're going to have fun.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh,

I think we should have one with a different color. Gold is so cliche.

I mean, it's New Year's.

Yeah, but the O'Briens always switch things up and they have a fun little

party. I want to have a fun party.

It's going to be fun.

Oh, it's going to be fun.

To me, it looks like there's about 75 in there.

75? Yeah.

Is that enough?

No, we need more. Oh, my God.

Let me see if I can find any down here.

Oh, my gosh. Let me count the cups.

Oh, boy.

Two? Oh, um, what? Oh.

Oh, never mind.

Okay.

Did you remember to order the catering?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

So it should be here soon, right?

It should be here soon.

Okay, well. It should be here real soon.

Did you get vegan and gluten-free options?

Yeah. Okay, okay.

That's good.

Maybe I can call the caterer before they get here and see if they have any more

napkins and plates for us. Maybe. That would work.

That's an idea. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be okay.

Uh-huh. Of course.

I think we have 25 cups in that one.

25? Okay. Check this one.

Check this.

I'll check and see.

I think I might have saw cups over here. Okay.

I just feel like the dad at the O'Brien's house would have gotten the

cups days prior and made sure everything was ready, but thank you for helping me

count these.

I guess we all can't be perfect.

Um, yeah, you're right.

There's 25 there, too.

Uh-huh, very weird.

These plates just seem so small.

Here. Those are for horse ovaries.

What?

Oh, the hors d'oeuvres.

Oh, yeah, the hors d'oeuvres, yeah.

Yeah. Well, that means we're out of all the big plates. We're going to need the

small plates to work.

Exactly.

I guess.

I mean, we'll just have to make do.

You ordered the champagne, right?

Absolutely. Okay, okay.

Maybe that will help make people forget about the plates.

Maybe that will help you calm down.

Oh, you're so funny.

You just have all the jokes, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like sometimes, yeah.

You feel like sometimes what?

I do, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

There's 50 of those.

50, okay.

I mean, I don't know. I don't feel like this looks like enough.

This doesn't look like enough.

You should have went to the store like I asked you to.

How many?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, maybe I hit some plates down here.

Maybe.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.

Whatever.

Um... Am I being too hard on everybody again?

Yeah, maybe.

Man, I just, I get stressed.

Maybe I should go apologize to Melody.

Uh, sure, but...

Let's just make sure everything's counted.

You're right. You're right. This is more important. Okay.

One, two, three.

I just can't believe this is what you think is appropriate.

This silver get up to wear to my New Year's Eve party. It's shiny like New

Year's Eve. This is a new outfit. I just wore it last week.

That is so, way too slutty. Hey, hey, hey. You bought me this last year. What?

What are you talking about? I did not buy you this. I can hear you two yelling

all the way down the hall. She just thinks that.

This is appropriate to wear to a neighborhood music party. Okay, well, I

offered to wear this one, too. This is worse. This one's worse. Well, she

bought it. You were there.

Oh, no.

No. You know what?

I'm not dealing with either one of y'all anymore.

I'm going to go enjoy my little party. You two can figure out what she's

supposed to be wearing, okay?

Nothing about today is going to be fun.

She just won't let me wear what I want.

She is right. Every time I see you, these clothes get smaller and smaller.

Skimpy.

This is what's trendy right now.

What else am I supposed to wear?

Look, I'll put this one on later if that'll make her happy.

Maybe if we just, I don't know, wait it out a little bit and let her calm down

and decorate, she'll forget all about it and I can wear whatever I want.

Well, you know what?

I have an idea.

Since I helped you earlier and had fun, if you can help

me out, we'll wait it out together.

I think so.

I think that's doable.

Okay.

Should I close the door?

You know I have a New Year's resolution, right?

What would that be?

It's to get closer to you.

This is the best way.

How much closer could we possibly get?

Exactly.

Wow,

you're right.

This is about as second close as it gets.

Oh my god.

You and your dad jokes.

It's a holiday season Trying to be more giving

that's my girl

That's my New Year's resolution.

You don't think we're being too loud, right?

No, we're fine. It's so loud up there with the music.

That's my little pumpkin.

This

is

way more fun than blowing up stupid balloons.

It's still blowing, but...

That's gross.

Oh, yeah.

Take those gloves off.

Don't tell your mother. These are slutty, but I like them.

I mean, you like my outfits.

Why don't you lay down here for me under there?

It's my turn again already?

Not quite yet.

How can mom be in a bad mood all the time?

And you have this mouth.

Trust me, she doesn't always get it.

It feels so good.

Do we have to go down to the party?

Can we just stay in here all night?

I'm sure she wouldn't notice.

Maybe I should tease you too.

Yes you have.

I guess it's time to get dressed, right?

Yeah, you can wear whatever you want.

Let's go. We have a party to get to.

Yeah, I gotta get dressed.

Oh my god, seriously?

You're still getting changed?

Look, don't blame her. It was me.

Just get some clothes on and come up. Come on.

I told you.

I'm gonna go upstairs and get a drink.

Okay.

I'll meet you out there.