Original subtitles

I'm ready.

Power.

You all want power.

You can have it. This will make you untouchable.

On sale for tonight only, I have a one-of-a-kind tool.

It doesn't slice, it doesn't dice, but it can be yours for a price.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Don't touch, ladies and gentlemen.

In the same way the longbow, gunpowder, and the glorious atomic

bomb changed the balance of power in their time, so will this weapon.

Pardon me, sir.

Security check.

Please step this way.

But I am late.

Security here is ridiculous.

You're right, sir.

It's shocking.

Sleeping on duty.

I'm going to have to strip you of your rank.

this product is a limited edition there is only one that is all its

late creator had time for before his unfortunate demise

our world is still ruled by the law of the

jungle survival of the fittest and tonight one

of you

will prove himself more fit than the others.

There are many ways to shoot a mannequin.

I am not impressed.

I see that you are more interested in breathing targets.

Very well.

Bright lights, beautiful.

My son's popcorn could do as much.

Looks like you're going to need a ride home, Sheik.

Tonight the bidding will begin at... Shall we say ten?

Billions.

Follow me, ladies and gentlemen. After dinner, the bidding will begin.

General.

Nice shades.

Scratch resistant?

Wow.

Do you recognize us, General?

Was.

Mojna.

Boja.

shooting.

What do you say?

I'm sorry.

And?

Won't happen again.

Okay.

I want you to find that man and bring me the weapon.

And Rex, do you think you could possibly kill him next time?

Oh, yeah.

Hey Jeremy, wanna get in on a little bet on the game?

I'll give you five to one odds against us.

No thanks, Sly.

It's a good bet. We're gonna get our butts kicked.

Go!

He'll be here.

Why should this time be any different?

Change up!

Yes, sir.

Well, come join the game, Dad.

I don't think that's a good idea. Oh, come on.

Oh, no.

Sorry I'm late, son.

It's okay.

You!

Chase! Coming your way. Don't hurt yourself.

Hey, pretty good catch, huh?

Yeah, great one, Dad.

Don't do that too often.

It was good.

I just wish Mom could have seen it.

I know, son.

I miss her, too.

Dad?

Yeah?

Never mind.

What?

How come we never go out for pizza with the gang anymore?

I mean, we used to.

I told you, Jeremy.

I have to make a delivery.

Good afternoon, Jeremy-san.

Hello, Mr. Yamada.

Baseball game's not excellent.

I made a good catch.

Even one-legged men sometimes kick butt.

Any problems, Jeremy?

He didn't show up until the end.

And we were supposed to go out for pizza.

General Anderson.

Chase here.

I'm leaving the item at base camp, sir.

Chase, you must stay with the item until you can rendezvous with one of our

agents at 1400 hours.

Even her cronies were seen entering the country.

Intel informs us that they may be on to your location.

Didn't take her long.

Does it ever?

Well, um, there's a slight problem, sir. A problem?

My son is with me now. Your son?

You know, Jeremy, when your mama died, very hard on your papa.

You think he not miss her as much as you?

He was never home anyway.

He was always off at some stupid toy convention or something.

He wasn't even at home when she died.

Jeremy, he needs you now.

I don't think so.

Well, you'll think again.

He has no one else.

Dad?

Wow, what is that?

Nothing.

No, it's cool.

It's a new toy, right?

Yeah, right.

Can I see it?

No, son.

But... Okay.

You can look, but don't touch.

It's only a prototype.

What's it do? Like smoke?

Lights?

Noises? Something?

Jeremy, no!

I told you not to touch it.

I wasn't gonna hurt it.

Let's just put it away for now, son.

Come on, son. We gotta go.

Got the seatbelt on?

Yeah. Good.

Scooch to the front of your seat, Jeremy.

What's going on? What do these guys want?

Toy business. It's cutthroat.

Slide to the front of your seat, son.

Just do it.

Now reach in the glove box.

You'll find a tiny button. Push it three times.

Pause, and then twice again.

Watch your language.

Damn!

Jeremy,

get out of the car. Go.

Don't come out until you know they're gone.

Take this. Keep it with you.

Go.

You can trust Max Simpson.

Stay here!

and launched another rocket, and the car has exploded.

No, he crashed.

Blam! Right into a street lamp. No, into a parked car.

Then what happened?

It's like I told you. You floated away in a balloon.

Landed on it. Why don't you guys believe me?

Well, come on, Jeremy.

Hey, you stay out of this. You're not even supposed to be here.

Yeah, no girls allowed.

Shut up, big brother.

You shut up, little sister.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, everybody shut up.

Okay, I'll prove it.

There's one of the fake cops outside spying on the house.

I'll show you.

Come on, come on, let's go.

Come on.

I don't see anybody.

He was there.

Well, maybe he left.

Yeah, and a giant teddy bear. Forget it. Just forget I said anything.

Jeremy. There, that's probably your dad now.

Hey man, sorry we didn't believe you.

We'll find your dad.

I wonder what they wanted.

They were searching for the gun.

What gun?

A prototype toy ray gun my dad had.

That's what this is all about.

Those guys must have been from a rival toy company.

If they don't know where the laser gun is, then maybe your dad got away.

Or maybe he's dead.

Shut up! You are such a dork!

Sorry, Jeff.

Look, if he did get away, and he's not here, where would he be?

Toy store.

Yes, sir.

I understand.

man.

Mr. Chase. Dad?

Mr. Chase.

Dad. Mr. Chase?

Hey!

Who are you?

Who are you?

I'm Jeremy Chase.

My dad runs this toy store. Um... Who are you?

Shigeo Yamata. Looking for...

Hungry, champ?

Yeah.

Great catch today, Dad.

Thanks, son.

So, Dad, where is it?

Where's what?

Where's the whooping, Dad?

Explain this to me.

It's my best creation yet.

Virtual reality simulations coupled with mind-altering drugs

make the experience seem completely real to me.

Modern technology at its finest. Why isn't it working?

He's fighting the drug.

I don't know how. I've tripled the dosage. He should be babbling every

secret he knows. The technology, it's still in development.

Well, live subjects are so hard to come by.

If only I could drill into his brain and get

direct exposure.

Wake him up.

Try again.

Speak.

It's me.

I'm near the toy store.

Do you have the weapon?

There were complications.

I don't believe you lost them again.

What do you say?

I'm sorry.

And?

It won't happen.

I'm sending Scarletty. He's the best at this sort of thing.

Take

care

of yourself.

I'll be all right.

You want to call your mom and dad?

Leave with grandfather.

Just come from Japan.

Well, I guess you'd better come with us then.

Hi, my name's Bart.

I'll slide.

Well, I've been thinking. I mean, if they want this ray gun so bad, then

maybe we should find it ourselves.

I mean, at least we'll have something to bargain with. Then we'll have to track

down the car.

The police amped that a lot.

If they found the red car on the street, that's where they'd take it.

Volvo and spread out

Guys Why

not start

Don't touch the mustache?

No, no, no. It means you're welcome in Japanese.

Give me the gun. I've got an idea.

I'll meet you at the clubhouse in an hour.

Boy, if anything happened to you, your dad would kill me.

Dad.

You must be Max Simpson.

At your service. Hey, you must be Jeremy, huh?

I've heard a lot about you, kid.

Yeah, these are my friends, Rosalie, Bart, and Shigeo.

Nice to meet you all.

Our pleasure.

That's for sure.

So come on in. Make yourselves at home.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Sit down.

So, kids, do you like magic?

Watch this.

No, no, no, wait. No applause. There's more.

Hold out your hands.

Hold them out. That's it. That's it. Ready?

Ready?

That is so cool!

What? Nothing.

You were never there for us.

Never.

You killed her, you know.

She died of loneliness.

I hate you.

Jeremy. I hate you. I hate you.

But I'll forgive you if you tell me where you hid the weapon.

Where is it?

Where is it?

Where is it? His will is too strong.

If only I could drill.

Drill, drill, drill. That's all you ever think about is drilling.

Raise the intensity level to maximum.

You'll only see how long he lasts.

So is this your house?

Oh, no, not exactly. It's what we call a safe house.

It's where we bring people we need to protect.

Like you little guys.

There's some pretty bad people after you.

Because of the toy.

Toy?

Oh, you don't know, do you?

Know what?

Jeremy,

your dad doesn't run a toy store. I mean, he does, but it's sort of a cover.

What are you talking about?

We work for an organization called Shadow. Your dad, myself, and your

grandfather.

No way.

Way.

And this weapon, kids, it's not a toy. It's the real thing, and there's a lot

of bad people trying to get their hands on it.

Is my dad okay?

But I do know that I can help him if you just tell me where the weapon is.

Okay.

Sly has it.

Sly? Yeah, another friend. We're meeting him at the clubhouse in an hour.

The clubhouse? Where's... It's the old bomb shelter at my house.

Good. Well, that'll have to do.

Sir, would it be okay if I call Grandfather at the hospital?

I'm very much worried about him.

Yeah, sure, go on.

Well, look, I have to report in, so I'll use the phone in the van.

So I'm going to set the alarm.

Don't go out the door.

Your kids are going to be okay, won't you?

Yes, sir.

Good.

I'm back in a flash.

to be my greatest creation ever.

You wouldn't be faking, would you?

Guess

not.

That hurts.

Dad?

Joe, you okay, son?

Yeah, Dad, I'm fine.

Where are you? Are you okay?

I'm fine. Let me talk to Max.

He's not here.

Okay, tell him that Eve is located at the abandoned asylum.

Got that?

Yeah, I got that, Dad. At the asylum.

What's going on?

Are you okay?

Sorry, Jeremy.

Dad? Dad?

Dad, are you there?

Dad?

Dad?

Interesting little toy.

Who is this?

This is a friend of your father's, darling.

Eve.

Where's my dad?

Oh, he's lying around somewhere.

You're not his friend.

That's right, boy. I'm his worst nightmare. Now listen carefully.

There is this man who works for me. He's a doctor.

Only he doesn't heal people. No, quite the opposite.

To try a new experiment on your daddy.

One that involves drilling into the brain. If the weapon isn't in my

possession by six o'clock, I'm going to let him drill, sweetie.

Jeremy, no!

I don't have it.

Then you'd better find it, boy.

Or don't you care enough about your daddy to save his life?

Move in and take the brats.

You're going to kill my dad in two hours.

We've got to help.

We've been

looking for you, kids.

Let's get something to tie him up.

I must go see grandfather.

Okay. If we need you, we'll leave a message on the computer at the

clubhouse.

Be careful.

Yes,

Mr. President.

We've just located them, sir. There's a team on the way.

Yes, sir.

Other than Raymond Chase, Max Simpson is our best man. If he says they're there,

sir, they're there.

Mr.

President.

They're not there, sir.

How's it going?

Give me a break, huh?

They don't exactly make it easy to tap into government files, you know.

I'm sorry.

I want to know who my dad really is.

You can't touch this hacker.

Agent Raymond Chase, joint shuttle organization, 1984.

1986, led covert operation in Angola.

1988, commendations for negotiating Middle East peace treaty.

1990, single-handedly captured terrorist organization, Shining Star.

Tradecraft, third degree black belt, Aikido.

CS-12 weapons training.

Disguise expert.

Jeremy, your dad isn't a dweeb at all.

Not at all.

You think Mr. Simpson's gonna come get us?

I'll see if I can find anything on Mr. Max Simpson.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

It's just that... What?

This whole... thing with my dad i mean he's like a whole different person

like i never knew him it's like he's lied to me my

whole life well maybe he did that because he loves you what are you

talking about well it's sort of like the way clark kent never told lois laney was

superman if he did that would put her in danger Then the bad guys will go after

her to get to him.

What about your mom?

What about her?

Don't you think she knew?

She must have.

She didn't tell you either, but she loved you, right?

Of course.

Well, I think your dad's pretty special.

I mean, he must be to have a great kid like you.

Mr. Max Simpson, come to papa.

There he is!

Where? Look there!

Mr.

Simpson! Jeremy!

Hey, cool!

God bless the Ruskies, huh?

I was worried about you, little buddy, huh?

You okay?

Yeah, some guy came to the house and she gayocratied him and Eve called and we

booked and she got my dad.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, slow down, slow down. You sly?

Yes, sir.

You got the weapon?

I'll stash it someplace safe.

Good man.

All right.

First thing, let's go get it.

Come on, this way.

Where's Shigeo, by the way? Uh, he's at the hospital with his grandfather.

Well, how's he doing? Okay, I guess.

Mr. Simpson, look. Yeah? Um, we've only got two hours to find my dad. Two hours,

and that woman's going to... Give it

to the bad

kitties.

My dad said we could trust you.

Oh, your dad said you could trust Max Simpson.

I'm afraid I had to borrow his name for a little while.

Who are you?

Vincent Scarletti.

At your service. And you, you, you!

You can call me Vince.

Never judge a crook by his cover.

but you saved us from him.

You were set up, kid.

We had to make you trust us.

Get on with it.

Um, where to?

Over my dead body.

Don't say that. I'm afraid Rex here would rather enjoy the idea.

Tell him.

Tell him.

This, will you listen?

Told you I lived in somewhere safe.

Okay, back off.

before I melt a little black thing.

That's it.

Obviously, we can't trust anybody.

There's only one thing we can do. What's that?

We'll need Shigeo.

Can we get him a message? I can email one over to the clubhouse on any

computer.

What is it we're planning on doing?

But if Shigeo can read it, anybody can.

Hmm, yeah.

What about a password?

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I got it.

What's that?

Tell him to meet us at my dad's toy store in a half hour. Hold it.

What exactly is it we're planning on doing?

We're going to rescue my dad ourselves.

Gentlemen.

And Rosalie.

Choose your weapons.

Right,

you got the message!

Did you erase it?

Doesn't matter.

Any luck?

Not yet.

I thought these were supposed to be the best computer hackers in the world,

General. They are, Max.

This is just a highly unusual passcode.

Hmm.

Thank you, Shigeo-san.

Go ahead and riddle.

There'll be time for that later.

Where is it?

Where is it? Where is it?

Where is it?

Go,

go, go.

Go on.

Move it.

Move it or lose it. Come on.

We got to do it.

Hey, guys.

Sorry.

Hey, guys. Go, go, go. Let's move. Let's move.

Let's go.

Let's take it together. Sit close.

Slow.

Slow.

There's only one thing we can do.

Go home?

Dig.

We're absolutely aware of the urgency.

Not yet, Mr. President.

Yes, sir, I'll let you know.

Anything. Now, nothing.

We're losing precious time here.

As soon as the code breaks, we're going to have to be ready to move.

Your team ready? Every man I've got is on this. Listen to me, General.

You've got to understand, we've all told Raymond Chase at one time or another.

You just tell us where.

Get me an outside line.

Come on, you can make it.

Let's get him.

You know, it took us a long time to get through there. If we have to book in a

hurry, we're in trouble.

I got an idea.

You guys go on ahead. I'll take care of it.

We've only got a few minutes till six.

We've got to go fast.

Let's go.

Banzai.

Banzai.

Banzai.

Banzai.

Bingo. I've got the passwords.

Don't touch the mustache.

I'm Buckwheat. Verify voice.

Don't touch the mustache.

What kind of a passcode is that?

It's Japanese for you're welcome.

Sort of. It says they're at the old prison asylum. Where's that?

Teams Alpha, Beta, Delta, scramble now.

I'm Spanky, verify voice.

Voice analysis confirmed, access granted.

I'm Spanky, verify voice.

Voice analysis confirmed, access granted.

It's time.

Gentlemen, you may begin.

But please, could you get results before he dies?

What the hell you doing here?

We can't just go running in there.

But it's my dad! It's not gonna do your dad any good if we all get caught.

Alright, I've got an idea.

Listen.

Get on with it.

Son? You shouldn't have come here, son.

But I'm glad you did.

You sit down.

Let me have that.

Your weapon.

Two fingers.

and fuzzy drop it.

It's family reunion, really, isn't it?

Get your hands up!

I'd like nothing better than to get you all out of my hair ray.

You have a very bright boy here.

Very bright indeed.

Where's the weapon?

Ah! Ah, ah, ah!

My gun is real.

You, Tubby, release him.

Sorry, it won't happen again.

Solid So

nice

of you to join me boys don't disappear again

Come on, move it. Come on, move it, move it.

Not beat yet. Then maybe this?

You kids are unbelievable.

receiving the odds.

Let's move, guys.

Okay.

We've all had our little bit of fun.

Now hand me the weapon, or the boy dies.

Don't do it, Dad.

Dad?

Let him go.

Hand me the weapon, now.

At the same time.

I was in good hands.

Yeah, I know.

Guess I kind of blew my cover, huh?

Maybe a little.

I love you.

Agent Chase.

General.

Where's the weapon? She has it, sir. What? He has it? She has it. For another

30 seconds or so.

I set the self-destruct. You set the... Holy cow!

Get the kids out of here!

What do you say?

What?

No, Max, Max.

I'm sorry.

And?

It won't happen again. Now clear the...

Oh, brother.

I can't believe it. My sister's finally interested in a boy.

You agents, get to those

vehicles. I want this area evacuated in five minutes.

Well, Simpson, maybe next time.

Let's move it up.

I want to thank everyone for coming.

This has been quite an adventure.

You know why we're here today?

To honor these young people who have done so much for their country. Hey,

some of you could take a lesson from these kids.

of the President of the United States, I bestow upon you children the

Distinguished Intelligence Cross for action and bravery above and beyond the

call of duty.

Gentlemen and lady, we salute you.

Hey, what's the word? Say, haven't you heard? Your dad, the nerf, been captured

by a woman named Eve. Who you better believe has something nasty up her

sleeve. Bella Von, it's an evil one. Doing anything just to get that gun. The

ray gun. Ray gun.

Ray gun. Ray gun. Ray gun.

His name is Ray and he wears a toupee.

What you take so often will become a cliche. But behind that toothy, goofy

grin is a secret agent. A trained assassin.

Man, if he saw and flexed those awesome pecs, well then you'd understand the

respect he collects from all the evildoers whose plans that he wrecks.

The Secret Agent

Club. The

Secret Agent Club.

They call him Rex and you better start to beg. If you see him coming at you

with his bad metal leg, he'll rush you. He'll crush you. He'll turn you into

mush. You see him coming and you better run far or the Rex is going to leave you

with one big scar.

Scars like God face in a car chase, racing down the road at a bizarre pace.

He's really lovely. Yeah, mighty scary guy. That's going ever closer because

he's known to be sly.

The Secret Agent Club.

The Secret Agent Club.

The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club.

The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret

Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent

Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The

Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret

Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The Secret

Agent Club. The Secret Agent Club. The

Secret Agent Club.

I'm going to get my daddy free. He walks the walk. He talks the talk. Raise young

sons and chip off the block. He writes wrong.

He fights wrongs. He's looking for his dad all night long. But it's getting

bad. He can't find his dad, and now he's getting mad. Mad scientist, that's what

he's saying. Wants to drill into our hero's brains so he can get the

supersided contained.

Secret, secret,

secret, secret, secret agent club.

Secret agent club.

The secret agent club.

Not secret, not secret, not secret, not secret, not secret, not secret, not

secret, not secret,

not secret, not secret, not secret, not secret, not secret, not secret,

not secret, not secret.

The secret!

The secret!

The secret!

The secret!

Nothing great, nothing great, nothing great, nothing great, nothing great, not

secret agent club.

The secret,

the secret, the secret, the secret.