Original subtitles

Playboys, playmate, playoffs.

The arena.

The athletes.

Presenting the gentle ripple of feminine sinew.

Beautiful playmates are gathered together at Playboy Mansion West from

all over the world.

Here is the laborious grind of prolonged struggle.

The subtle strategy of indirect approach.

Unfailing good humor in the face of disaster.

And the sharing of congratulations for a job well done.

The playfulness of celebration.

The ecstasy of victory.

And the spill of defeat.

And back again, the Goodyear blimp. That celestial billboard that invariably

points the way to a major sporting event.

It's another glorious sunny day in Southern California.

Hi, I'm Chuck Woolery, your host for Playboy's Playmate Playoffs. Coming to

you from the Playboy Mansion in beautiful Holmby Hills.

This is the second semifinal in the playoffs.

Today's winning team will be pitted against the winner of the first

semifinal, and they are tough.

I'm now delighted to introduce my colleague, Miss September of 1979.

She's not only beautiful and has a law degree, the ravishing Vicki McCarty.

Vicki, where are you? Right here, Chuck.

By the way, I want to thank you for such a lovely introduction.

Also, I want you to know I think you're ravishing.

Gee, I bet you say that to all the guys.

Don't you?

Well, what do you think?

I think I should announce the fact that each individual playmate can win up to

$5,000 in cash and prizes, and the winning team has the opportunity to go

on and win even more.

The Playmates are competing for over $40,000 in cash and prizes.

And when I say competing, I mean just that.

Personal pride and team spirit couldn't be higher. These girls are out to win.

Yeah, are they ever. The first semifinal was a bruiser if you were lucky enough

to see that competition.

But now we're going to meet the next two teams.

For the Purple Team, Captain, Miss November 1978, Monique St. Pierre.

Miss January 1980, Gig Gangle.

Miss August, 1967,

Dee Dee Lynn.

Miss October, 1981, Kelly Tuck.

Rounding off the purple team, Miss December, 1982, Charlotte Kemp.

For the green team, Captain, Miss April, 1981, Lorraine Michaels.

Miss April 1982, Linda Vaughn.

Miss October 1978,

Marcie Hansen.

Miss April 1977, Lisa Sohn.

Miss September 1971,

Crystal Smith.

This is going to be a great competition.

Now, Vicki, would you introduce the Playmate Playoffs commissioner?

You bet. I'd be happy to. Here he is, our trusted arbitrator, a very special

entertainer, and an all-around terrific person, Commissioner Chuck McCann.

Nice chucking, Vicki.

This is my favorite event. It's called the greased pigskin.

Now, both teams line up one, two, three, four.

I think that's how it goes. Anyway, the fifth member is on the opposite end of

the field with a football.

At the sound of the starting gun, the playmates with the footballs race

through the markers to the first member of their respective teams. They hand the

ball to her. The markers are then removed. She turns around, centers the

ball to the second girl, and then runs to her rear.

Anyway, the second girl passes overhead, and she runs around, and then under and

over and under and over until they cross the finish line. One more thing, though.

Yeah, the football's oiled.

Catch it. One of the flamingos is running off with it. Get that ball.

All right, there's Kelly Tuff.

Flexing a little bit here for us. She was hiding out when the other girls were

competing, but I think today she's all ready to go and rip up.

Looks like she is.

And here's Linda Vaughn.

These are two very different teams from our first show, the first playoffs.

They're much tougher, much more aggressive.

They're ready.

through the stanchions looking pretty good you know linda's a horseback rider

and she said that this is really giving her much better sense of gravity and

timing around those those uh poles let's see if it pays off looks like the

purple's behind the green's moving it really really well holding onto the ball

a little long they're just maybe a second ahead of them i think the turns

really throw the girls and they've been practicing them all morning i believe

we've got green as a winner here yeah Now, you must understand that this is an

event that calls for the best two out of three.

So whoever wins two events will take the money for this event and go to the next

event as the winner. Looks like it's time for a little consultation here.

Charlotte's got some good advice.

Careful not to insult her lead-off man, though. That's right.

Look at Lorraine.

Lorraine was a cheerleader from birth. She will be a cheerleader for the rest

of her life, I'm convinced.

Everybody checking their straps.

Here's Kim Herron and Victoria Cook. They were in the first day's

competition. The winner and the loser.

Okay, here we go again. Set up, we're gone.

Okay, the two girls round the second stanchion to the third, over the fourth.

Looks like they're very even. Oh, Green's just a little out in front.

Well, the purple team has fallen way behind.

Trying to catch up. I don't know whether they can or not.

It's not a problem with speed. It seems that they just don't have the handoff

technique. It's the agility.

Maybe. We'll see. Up green's got this one. They sure do.

Listen, I'm going to step out on the field and talk to them while we do some

instant replays and take a look at what happened.

Well, this is what happened. Linda Vaughn has a very good handoff to

Lorraine Michaels, and Lorraine immediately is passing it down. However,

on the other team, Kelly hands it to Monique. Monique gives it to Didi.

Almost. It drops.

Monique doesn't notice and keeps running, and Didi is stuck chasing the

ball while the other team's already down the field.

in just a moment but you guys were you've been really been working on this

haven't you well we've been working i got a great bunch of girls and we're

inspired green like money well you guys are fired up

charlotte now charlotte you've got the bad ankle here did that bother you did

it bother you at all during the conference well now that you mentioned

it don't let her think about it i wasn't thinking about it it's a little tender

you just closed your mind off to it and kept on chucking yeah

Well, that's great. Lisa, how about you?

We're just ready to beat them again in the next event. That's all.

Linda, you look good out there. You all did. You ran very fast. I think you were

really close.

Monique, this is killer Monique.

I don't take kindly to losing, and this will be the last event we will lose.

They didn't exactly run off with it, though. You guys look pretty good out

there. We look good. Of course we look good. No, no, no. I mean, you were fast.

Of course you look good. We've got it both ways. We've got it made here.

The problem is we have all the girls with large breasts, and they're trying

to keep them in their suits.

The next one's strategy, I guess. The next event's all strategy.

You need a Kleenex. The next time out, we'll see what we can do with them.

We'll cover that in just a minute.

Every night after the movie at Playboy Mansion West, the playmates sneak into

the kitchen and have some chocolate pie. Therefore, we got the idea for this next

event. It's called Pie in the Sky, because they're always fighting for the

last piece.

Now, here's what happens. A designated player at the starting gun races from

the table to the far end of the course, carrying, moi, this, a pie.

She hands it to the first team member. Now she tosses the pie over the first

bar and catches it. The same thing with the next two bars. She then places the

pie on the table, turns back to tap her next teammate, who then proceeds to

return to the bar because it is her turn.

Now there's a five-minute time limit. One thing, though, if a pie is dropped

while attempting to get it over a pole, she must then go back, get another pie,

go to the bar, miss, and try again.

Okay, you got that all figured out?

I haven't, but we'll watch it and we'll see how it plays.

Very well said, Chuck McCann. Good try, anyway. This is one of my favorites.

Look at the chance here. Money, money, money.

That's what they're after.

At least they're blunt.

Two very aggressive teams.

Who's leading off here? Okay, ready?

We have Gig Gangel and Linda Vaughn. All right. Giggs and Lavender, Linda and

Green.

Crystal's already, she's preparing against any stray cream, I think. All

right, they're off. Now, remember, they have to run to the end.

Give it to their teammate, and the teammate has to throw it over the bar

just like that.

One, two.

Oops, Lorraine Michaels missed one. Monique and Lorraine.

They both missed one.

So they have to run all the way back and hit it again.

Monique's got two down. Uh-oh.

Oh, no. Well, it starts now. This is why it's my favorite.

Monique's still trying to get past that third hurdle. Look at the look of

concentration on that face. That is determination.

Lisa Soames already on the way back.

Here goes Monique. Makes this one. Oh, no.

Well, she made it across now. Does she have to pick it up and go all the way

back? I think she's got it. She sure does.

Here comes Marcy. Here comes Marcy. She's got it in order, no problem.

I think those hats are a pretty good idea.

Slippin' and a slidin'. Here comes Charlotte.

Charlotte couldn't make the first one. She's up again.

And Crystal's doing just great.

Yeah, no problem with her.

Okay, Charlotte's got one. She can stand up.

Two and three. Well, she made it. She's doing great.

Maybe the purple will get back. Lorraine's already back down again.

What was Monique saying all the purple team had in common? Something about

their build, as I recall. Yes.

Pretty hard not to tell.

That must be a little top-heavy, maybe. Yes.

The distribution of weight isn't exactly there.

Lisa's almost back.

Touches her partner.

Marcy's got the pie.

Whoops, she dropped it on the second. She's got to go back.

And Dee Dee Lynn's trying hesitantly for the third. Dee Dee looks a little

scared, exactly.

I love this event. This is my favorite. This just gets better and better.

Oh, no.

What's going on out there? I think the purple team has absolutely lost all

composure, folks. They're gone.

Look at Kelly. We don't know if Kelly, Gig, who's on the mat at this point? I

don't know. Who's on first?

I think they need cleats. I hope somebody's keeping score. It's a little

tough to follow at this point.

It's turned into a pie and creeper all out there.

Everybody's still smiling.

I still have a feeling that the green team is pretty far ahead at this point.

Okay, here comes Kelly. She's going to try it again.

Crystal's down with a little mustache.

A little bit in the mouth.

Kelly got off the vinyl covering that time.

By the way, for those of you who didn't see the first events of the playoffs,

this vinyl covering is extremely slippery.

Once these pies fall on it, you can see what's happening as a result.

Look at Monique run. Well, she's picked it up now. She's got it pretty well.

She's walking off.

She's not going to run back on that. They're trying to avoid the plastic. The

girls would love to run on the grass.

Always had a collision there, Charlotte and Lorraine.

Well, she said something about keeping your rear end down. That's certainly

what she's doing.

Following her own advice. When she said, get down, she really meant it. Really.

Who is that? Lisa Soam is coming back now? Looks like it. But, you know,

they're all starting to look a little bit alike to me.

Do you hear Lorraine?

What a yeller she is. She's going to win.

You can't win this one alone. The whole team's got to win. She wants to do that.

All right.

Boy, look at that one fly.

Marcy's still going.

Has Charlotte ever made it through yet? I never saw her finish. I saw her

running back.

I guess she did. Dee Dee Lynn's now tiptoeing through the meringue, so to

speak. I can't blame their hesitation.

Charlotte Kemp.

What's Dee Dee got on her shoulder?

Oh, down her front. There it goes. Crystal lost it.

She's got to go back. And is told now by her assistant, Linda, that she's got to

go all the way back. She better hurry.

Kelly Tuff just moving it on out there. She's trying to catch up.

Whoa. And Crystal's trying to stand up. Look it. Crystal has a taped ankle. I

think it was during a practice. She twisted her ankle. Yeah, but I asked

her. She said it wasn't bothering her too much.

She's a good sport.

She is covered.

Absolutely covered down the front.

year she was my roommate can you imagine waking up to that voice every day saying

run run okay i'm gonna step out well

it's green two purple nothing

look at the replay.

Here comes Marcy up and down.

Always a good sport.

And the next ballerina is Charlotte Kemp.

After a grand jeté, she looks like she's doing fine and then whoops.

Little loss of footing here.

They're awfully graceful though, I must say.

There goes Crystal.

Look at that. Now that's very good. A little arabesque and down.

She's careful not to lose the pie.

It's very crucial here.

And here comes Lorraine. All the spirit and heart she's throwing into this thing

along with the pie.

Knowing that she's won, she's jubilant.

And she's down on her behind.

We got this idea at the bar at Playboy Mansion West. We call it Fill Her Up.

One of my favorite expressions, by the way. We give three members of each team

a bucket. In this particular case, it's a blue bucket. And they have to fill

this large container with water from the hose which is held by the fourth girl.

But she's blindfolded. What else?

I love it when they're blindfolded.

All right, I'm going to show it off.

Plastic strap again.

That was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

As you can see, the girls are blindfolded. The other three have to

stand in line and try to get as much water as they possibly can, and they

have this translucent bucket behind them. They take their small buckets,

pour all their water in the large bucket, and whoever gets the most water

wins.

And this event is timed at three minutes exactly.

Look at the concentration here.

We have Lorraine Michaels holding the hose and Crystal Smith telling her where

to aim it.

for the green team.

Interestingly enough, Lorraine Michaels was born in Canterbury, Kent, England.

Yes, she was.

She's an Air Force brat.

We have girls from all over the place. Gig came in from Texas.

Charlotte's in from Chicago.

Monique is originally in from Germany, although she's been living in America

for a long time. Yeah, Monique St. Pierre has been living in... She

certainly lost her German accent, that's for sure.

Kelly Tuff is another one of our Canadian playmates.

So this is quite international here. She's from Vancouver, loves hiking,

camping, water sports, so she's getting her fill of that right now. Her fill of

a lot of things. Boating, swimming, canoeing.

She's got it all covered. She ought to win this hands down.

Well,

how are they moving along now? It looks like the girls are getting...

Pretty well covered, drenched with water. I know these girls very well, but

often I still can't recognize them from that particular angle. Well, let me take

over at that point.

I jest, of course. Yes, surely.

Dee Dee Lynn.

Dee Dee Lynn says she loves outdoor sports.

Recently moved to San Diego, interested in modeling, hobbies of horseback

riding, water skiing, swimming, boating. We've got a lot of swimming and boating

people here.

Marcy took time off.

Marcy Hansen on the Green Team took time off from a very busy acting career.

She's been doing a lot of television work. She was in a series, Roller Girls,

and I think she was just mentioning a guest appearance on the show 9 to 5.

She was a Playboy bunny in St. Louis, as a matter of fact, and was in the NBC

miniseries, Roller Girls.

Kelly Tufts trying to keep them in order. Kelly is never one to let things

pass.

There's Marcy back again with her bucket high in the sky.

A little difficult to tell. Looks like the purple team might be a little ahead

at this point.

Well, the concentration's there.

Gig Young, as you said, is in from Texas as well. A lot of the girls from Texas

on both teams.

On all four teams, I should say.

Actually, this is Gig Gang Gal. She's a little cuter than Gig Young, if you ask

me. Did I say Gig Young?

You're right, did I?

She's a lot cuter in Gigi, huh?

Oh, dear.

Okay, seven seconds to go.

Still looks to me like the purple's going to take this one.

Awfully close.

Awfully close.

It's over.

Let me step out and see what they're doing.

Looks like they're doing some measuring out in the field.

Okay, we're going to call for a string to measure it out to see which one's the

fullest. We really can't tell now because it's so close. The green came

from behind, and it's so close they can't even tell where it is. So we're

going to get a string, measure it out, and then we'll find out who the winner

is. It's very, very close right now.

Okay, Elise, one of the referees, she's going to tell us what's going on.

close match here, and the water levels looked about the same. However, the

purple side had a fraction of an inch above the green side.

It's a tough competition.

It's a tough thing to call, but you called it. That's why we got a standby.

Okay, it's official.

The Lavender team has it so far. Let's see what's going to go on here. Wait a

minute, we got a blind Didi.

We had a good squirter, and we had a good eye.

you got a good squirter and a good eye and good bucket had a good bucket girl

come here gig talk to me what did you do that was so unusual we kept it close to

our body so what bounced off the bodies went into the buckets see and with our

bodies we just kept it real close to the body and that way the overspray and

everything would go i'll buy that they'll buy it i'll buy it it sounds

good anyway oh monique oh god i feel so much better

This event called Shark Bait. The girls have to make their way across a grease

pole past a swinging bag, which is controlled by the opposing team. In the

water is a woman eating shark.

The team that has the most girls make it across the water is the winner.

Wind across the water, make it... It's confusing, but if you watch it, you'll

get the idea.

Another concise up-to-date from Chuck McCann on how this thing's run.

Thank God these things are fairly self-explanatory. Oh, boy, I should say.

They are greasing the pole, putting, uh, looks like mayonnaise, but I guess it's

not. What is it?

They had Wesson oil, Crisco, everything out.

Okay, let's see.

Monique, I mean, I'm sorry.

Lorraine, she looks filled with trepidation. Monique looks vengeful.

She's on the bag.

These two are out to get each other, I'll tell you.

Going to start.

Lorraine Michaels on the log.

Now once she crosses that line, she's fair game for Monique.

She's not across the line yet.

Monique and Lorraine are very good friends, and so that always adds a lot

of drama to these competitions for me.

If friendships can endure competition like this, they'll endure anything.

And again, they told them that they could put the ball anywhere, but they

had to carry the ball across the log.

She seemed to fit her mouth better than anyplace else.

She was going to carry it by one hand, that's for sure.

By the way, there are seven events today. I want to remind you that the

first team to win four win bonus cash and prizes.

And then they also win the right to move on to the finals.

Look at Lorraine. She's close. There she goes.

All right. Lorraine Michaels in the water. First one down.

Always smiling. That darling smile.

They're probably cooling off.

Monique.

You can tell Lorraine isn't going to be happy to be the first one knocked off in

this competition.

She's trying to set the example here for the team.

She's been the driving force.

Well, Monique St-Pierre is now on the log, and Lorraine Michaels gets her

chance to take a shot at Monique.

She looks determined, doesn't she?

She sure does.

Both of these girls are very athletic. Monique is a tremendous skier in

particular, and Lorraine does everything from ice skate to... Oh, no!

She didn't even get started.

She didn't even take it. Oh, I can't believe it.

She never got past the line.

Throwing the ball at Lorraine.

Oh, dear.

Well, that's two down in short order.

Charlotte Kemp steps up to the bag.

Let's see who's going to be on the log this time.

All right, there she is.

Linda Vaughn.

Now, Linda Vaughn's a horseback rider. That ought to help her a little bit on

the log. We'll see. But she's also a Shakespearean actress, if you can

believe this. You're kidding. I didn't know that. This is not exactly casting,

is it?

I didn't know that.

Look at that look in her eyes.

Sneaky little thing, isn't she? Yeah, really.

Now, Charlotte, I hadn't met Charlotte before this competition, but all the

girls, we've been hanging out together throughout.

And she's the sweetest, most quiet thing until she gets on the playing field, and

then it all comes out.

Well, she's hammering away right now at Linda Vaughn.

That thing looks like it would hurt, but they say that it doesn't.

Uh-oh.

She's regained her composure pretty well.

You know, they say once you start sliding that it's really all over with.

Looks like it.

I haven't tried this. Next time, you and I will have to try it. Oh, sure. You

first. I'm on the bag.

All right, that's our first victim across.

Linda Vaughn made it.

Green's got one. Purple's got nothing at this point.

Now Charlotte gets to step up and try her hand on the log while Linda Vaughn

tries to knock her off.

Catch their breath just a little bit.

It seems like the tall girls would have an advantage since they can wrap around

that pole better. Yeah.

Charlotte is very tall. Linda and Lorraine are very tiny.

Well, let's see if she uses that technique this time.

Look at her legs last underneath her. I know.

Before this event, I asked Charlotte if she had any special technique or if

she'd been practicing in any way to get ready for it. And she just smiled in

this very sly way and said, yes, she had thought of one or two things.

I wouldn't touch that Mac truck. If you were invited to, you might.

I meant the line.

Thanks a lot.

She made it.

All right, they're all even now.

Two down and...

Two across.

Sounds like a crossword puzzle.

Right.

But there's a lot of affection. It looks like a crossword puzzle.

A Rubik's Cube.

You can't tell where one lets off and the other begins.

There's Missy Cleveland, Vincent Van Patten, and Kimberly Williams.

All right, they're up.

Lisa Sohm on the bag this time.

Who's on the log? I can't see who's on the log yet.

Looks like Gig. Is it Gig Gangel?

Is it Gangel or Gangel? Gangel, I believe.

Gangel? That's how I've always said it.

Okay.

Well, she's in good form.

Gig is in good form.

Right on the head.

There's Dee Dee Lynn waiting at the end.

She looks pretty good to me. Gig does.

I think she's going to make it. Look at her. She's laughing now.

She's the funniest girl. She's so much fun to be around. I'm glad that she's

spending a lot more time in California. She's across.

Okay. Purple's got two.

Green's got one.

Monique is a single-handed welcoming committee here. Yeah.

All right. Now Gig gets up on the bag and put Lisa Sohm on

the...

On the log. Here goes Lisa. I wonder if this oil contributes to a suntan in any

way. I would hope so. I'll tell you that. It is hot today. It is. A

beautiful California day.

Perfect.

But it also makes that pole get hot.

That's right. Some of the girls are complaining if they had to take water

every now and then and throw it over the pole and re-grease it.

Keep them from burning their... Stomachs. Yes.

Okay. Gig pushes off.

And here comes Lisa Sohm.

Football tucked niftily in her mouth.

Mark, get set, go! I think there may be a little psychology going on here.

Come on.

A wide angle.

Oh, my gosh.

Heavy shot.

Gets her coming and going.

Yeah, really.

Again.

Look at Lisa.

You know, Lisa's been working a lot recently on a singing career, and I

think we may be hearing from her very soon as a recording artist. Oh, is that

right? You bet.

She's a rock and roller. You can see that bandana on her leg.

She's rock and roll all the way.

She's a model. Her mother is also a model.

designs clothes.

Might be a lot of stuff.

Playmates are very talented individuals.

That's right.

Lisa Sohm, over in good order. It's all tied up now.

Crystal Smith, bring her aboard.

Let's see who's going to step up this time.

Marcy Hansen walking to the bag.

Dee Dee Lynn.

Look at Dee Dee. This is so much fun. We have Charlotte, who is a new playmate

from December 82, and Dee Dee was a playmate, gosh, back in 1967.

That's just hard to believe. She is so cute. She's so petite. She's a little,

tiny thing.

It's a great reunion for all of us. Yeah.

The girls have really had a lot of fun.

Okay, here we go.

They're off.

Dee Dee Lynn trying to hang on.

Giggs coaching from the side. Giggs got a lot of gold on there.

Never one to forget glamour at crucial times.

Dee Dee's specialty is water sports.

I hope she doesn't have the opportunity to try them out today.

At least in this event. Well, she's close. You're right. She's close.

If she falls in, she has a good chance of making it to the side. That's for

sure.

She's got a hold of the bottom of it there, so she's found a way to take

advantage. She may be short, but she's smart.

Pull across the finish line, no chance.

Marcy Hansen just kind of gives up on the bag and walks away, because she's

next on the log, and indeed he's going to have a chance to try to knock Marcy

off.

Marcy's Miss October 1978,

for all you fans out there that might recognize her.

Her father was a baseball player. I don't know who he played for.

Marcy and Patty McGuire, another playmate who's not in the competition,

but who was...

a Playmate of the Year, were both bunnies in St. Louis together.

Oh, is that right? And both came out to California, and both obviously became

lovely playmates. Well, now, how did they do that? Did they just spot the

girls as bunnies in the clubs and then ask them to come out and shoot for the

center field?

It's really such a family affair that the girls, the bunnies are welcome to

come to the mansion no matter where they are. They can be bunnies in Japan and

come out and visit, see what it's like here in California, and test for

playmates. And they can stay on the ground? You bet.

All right, Dee Dee Lynn's on the bag, so to speak.

No, that's Marcy on the bag. Marcy Hansen's hanging on pretty well.

Oh, Marcy on the pole, and Dee Dee's on the bag?

Yep.

All these balloons. She's coming across pretty quick.

She is.

Marcy seems to have good technique and tremendous concentration.

Look at Dee Dee.

Just as cute as she can be.

All right, she's across.

I think we're all tied up still.

As a matter of fact, not only are we all tied up, that's the end of this

particular competition and we're tied up. So that means that we'll go to a

tiebreaker.

And at that point, they'll have a toss, a little instant replay to show you what

happened. This is our first girl out, Lorraine Michaels. She didn't last too

long.

This is what got us to our tie.

She went down.

I'm sure that I think that our next competitor up will be Monique St-Pierre,

who also went down.

We can see what good these two captains did for us, huh? That's right. They're

the two that are going to compete. Two captains in the drink. And they both

went down, interestingly enough, right up the top of the competition.

So they'll have a coin toss and decide who goes first. It will be a timed

event. Look at Monique kick as if that's going to get her back up on the pole.

I love this.

All right, so these two girls that you saw go in the drink will now be

competing for the overall event, on this particular event anyway, to see who

wins.

They're going to toss and see what happens.

All right, let's see. That means

Lorraine's going to be on the bag. That puts Monique on the log, and let's see

what happens.

That ought to get the adrenaline pumping. Still trying to make money.

Money.

She

realizes

that this event, if she wins this, they'll be tied up going into the fourth

event.

Or into the fifth event, excuse me, not into the fourth event.

hurry if this is a timed event.

I think Monique is just worried about staying on. I think so too.

From that last experience, she just, she didn't even make it out of the starting

block. Look at that determination.

Now she's trying.

She's really. Now her team's reminding her.

Hustling. The clock is ticking.

That thing is so slippery.

Lorraine is so strong. She works out at Nautilus. She's even worked out with the

Los Angeles Kings hockey team. Oh, is that right?

She sure has.

Okay, well, she's across.

Looks like she's going to be across anyway.

Look at Charlotte. She's worried.

She's bogged down at the end there.

All is lost in hesitation, Monet.

Okay, this ought to stop the clock here. There it is.

Okay.

Clock stopped. Check the time, and in she goes.

It's safe.

Now she gets to go on the bag, and that'll put Lorraine on the log. I think

she may be a little depleted at this point, a little too tired to give a good

throw to that bag. What do you think?

I don't know. I think Monique, she's a competitor.

Lorraine's trying to think, how can I get across this thing quick?

Right, she's developing a strategy here.

OK, now if Lorraine loses this, it's all tied up going into the fifth event.

Here we go. This will tell the tale.

Did I say tell the tale?

That's what I said.

That's what you said.

Did you hear that? The advice coming from the sidelines? It's time to hump

it. Is that what she said?

Is that Crystal?

I don't, I wouldn't say.

By the way, you talk about somebody strong.

Crystal Smith.

Looks like she could.

take anything on and do it. She's very strong. You know, she's a professional

dancer. I didn't know that. As well as model. So she's in tremendous shape.

Okay, how's her time going here?

She's just as slow as Monique was. Well, I think they re-greased the pole when

they were doing the coin toss. That may have some bearing on this.

She's definitely taking her time. Look at Monique's throw, though. She is not

tired from going across.

I told you.

Competitive spirit will carry the day.

Right now, the officials have the time. I don't think anybody else knows even

close what time it is, but she's not across that line yet.

She's moving.

Okay, the officials will have the time, and we'll see who won this event in just

a second.

in 15 seconds and the green team had one minute and 17 seconds you guys got them

by two seconds let me ask you something gig before you leave does this thing

require a lot of strength once you go off

the side you're it's it's over right

Both team captains, you didn't make it through the first time, and Lorraine

didn't make it through the first time, but you made it that time. You've got

Crisco all over you. I love Crisco.

I had to ask.

Kelly, how about you?

The guys safe in this whole place are in the Goodyear blimp.

It's coming over right now. This is called the Quasimodo, or the Hump Relay.

What else can you call the event? Because the course is laid out with

three large, greased humps, and they're in the way of these playmates. Now, the

playmates have to get over them any way they can.

There's a rope attached to the top of each hump to use if they so desire.

And they do desire, because there's no way they can get over it. Well, you'll

see. It's run like any other relay. That is, one runner completes the course, she

taps the runner in front of her who continues and so on and so on. Oh,

there's nothing to it.

All right, this is the hump race we've been waiting for. They're just spraying

off the humps, trying to get the heat down a little bit.

Vicki, have you done this one?

Have I done this one? You see me. I'm hiding every time there's an opportunity

to try anything. All right, here's Monique St. Pierre and Marcy Hansen.

Look at how fast they're moving. Monique's very fast. Both of them are.

Whoops, what happened there?

Good tag.

There's Gig and Crystal. Okay, Gig's across there.

All right, Purple's ahead.

Who would have thunk it? Is that Crystal or Lorraine?

Gig is just moving way ahead. Look at this.

Okay, there's Charlotte.

Charlotte Kemp's across with no problem. She's ahead.

Lisa Sohm trying to catch up. Trying to catch a number of things here.

There's Monique Zabier in rare form.

Oh, they want this.

And there goes Linda, also losing a little. Monique missed the tag.

She's going to have to run back.

She better hurry.

Now, I don't know what'll happen. She never did make up the tag again with

Deedee. Deedee's having trouble.

Yeah, Marcy's, the green team has really sprung ahead now.

And it's over with Deedee trying to hang on to the hump.

Are you guys up for this? Are you up for this? You're one ahead

now, right?

All right, talk to me. How was it? How was it to run this race? Very slippery.

It was easy. It was very slippery. It was tough.

Marcy did a great job. When we were a man behind, she ran her ass off.

Come here, Crystal.

Crystal, come here. Come here a minute.

I did so terrible. I couldn't even get the ropes on the right side, but that's

all right. But it seemed like nobody used the ropes. Once they got over, they

weren't using them. You didn't need them? No. You need ropes to get it up.

Congratulations. That's three out of, what, five so far? You got two more to

go? Yeah, two more to go. That's right. Okay, come over. Come over, girls. Come

here and let me hear what happened. You guys, you were so close.

So close. You were really close.

What happened? I tagged fingernails. Come here, come here. What happened?

She tagged fingernails, and Lorraine was yelling that she didn't tag her.

I tagged her fingernails like this, and Lorraine's going, she didn't touch you,

so she stood there and stood there.

You thought you weren't supposed to go, Dee Dee? Well, somebody said that.

I don't want to make you feel badly, but you realize that you were at almost a

full length ahead by the time she took it? Don't lump it in, Jack.

But it really, I guess, you know, because you were unable to get across

the hurdles now when you tried.

I think you need longer legs.

Longer legs. Longer legs.

Did it help? Did you try to do it without the rope? Because you were one

of the few that were using the rope.

Yes, I did.

well that's good on that note of them loving each other they're one down and

the other team only the green team only has to win one more we're going to go to

the next event and see what happens

For the next event, let's see the Waterloo for the Lavender team.

They were so far ahead, Monique came around to touch Dee Dee and just missed

her in her haste.

You can take a look at it again.

And this is where they lost it.

Want to hear a cleverly named event?

We call it the Staple Chase.

We got center foals, and then, of course, they...

who is that guy that puts those things in the middle of our girls get my hands

on him anyway this event is our version of an obstacle course we got a lot of

pillows and eight billion balloons and it's one of the favorite games up here

overhead we have this ladder and the girls have to swing hand to hand oh it's

terrific it's it's our obstacle course all getting through the front door on

friday night whichever one you want but watch this it's a it's a mountain of fun

Okay, here's the crowd overlooking the obstacle course. As you can see, this

actually can be very grueling.

This thing's full of balloons. They knock those balloons around in there,

get lost, can't find the door out.

The pillows started off.

All right, here are two leaders.

Monique and Marcy. Marcy.

Marcy Hansen, Monique St. Pierre.

Monique has always been faster.

Let's see what happens.

She's off.

They've run against each other on the hump race as well. Pretty evenly

matched. Evenly matched so far.

Linda Vaughn. And Gig Gangel. Gig Gangel.

Look at Gig on those bars. Look at that.

Holy cow.

Notice Linda has shoes on and Gig doesn't. I'm sure the girls were

discussing technique at the beginning.

Even got a balloon on the way out.

Again, Purple way ahead.

They're a fast team, a much taller team.

And here comes Charlotte Kemp.

She's on the bars already.

She doesn't seem quite as confident there. She's going to try to walk across

it.

More or less.

And Lorraine Michaels is on the bars.

Again, Purple's way out in front. They sure are.

Lorraine's trying to catch up. The green team, as I say, they all decided to have

shoes on. I think they may regret it if they end up in the mud.

That's true.

Look at Didi going across the pillows.

Okay, I see what Didi does. She's going to try it.

Grabs, no problem. Good night. She's going across it pretty quick, too.

Green's made up a little bit of time at this point. Crystal Smith's very strong.

She's coming on pretty strong.

Didi lands out around the bend.

Crystal's just making it through the balloons right now.

Didi's making up for her loss in the hump race, I think.

Okay, here comes Lisa Soem.

Oh, I'm sorry, that's Kelly. And there's Lisa taking it up for the green team.

Now they're close, very close.

Down into the drink.

Kelly's going to have to hurry at this point.

But she's ahead.

Purple's still ahead.

Come on, Kelly, pick it up. The balloons don't look too... Uh-oh, uh-oh.

They don't look too formidable, but once you get in there... Very, very close at

this point.

Very close. In fact, the green may be just a little ahead.

How in the world did they lose all that time?

Monique and Marcy.

Monique is definitely trying. The two leadoff girls.

Marcy's down and Monique. They're both down in the mud.

But almost dead even.

Marcy's out a little bit quicker. She's through the balloons.

Come on, Monique. Come on, Monique.

Monique's going to have to hurry. Come on, Monique. It's a race to the finish.

Now it's a slippery.

Oh, I don't know.

Very close. Looks like Green has it. Marcy.

It's the best two out of three heats by the way, so they're gonna have another

run at it possibly two I don't see how they can have the energy to do another

run. This takes a lot of See

who their final competition will be

Checking to see if everything stays in place

It's the second heat.

Okay, they're off.

Monique again out in front. Awfully fast.

Linda's taking her shoes off this time. Uh-oh, she's down now.

This will put Purple out in front just a little ways.

We'll see what happens.

They start looking like the Tar Baby once they've landed in that mud.

Kelly's around first.

No problem. Again, way, big lead, big lead.

The long legs of Charlotte are coming in handy here.

Charlotte made it across the first time. She's given up on trying to use the

ball. And made it.

Look at Lorraine. Lorraine just absolutely blew through that stuff. She

sure did.

Well, this has come down to a real tight competition, I'll tell you.

And again, Purple is way out in front again. Here comes Crystal Smith.

She's making up the slack in a hurry.

Crystal's down. Deedee's on the bars.

That mud is so slippery on the bottom.

Deedee's taking four or five. She hasn't got very long legs, but her arms are

pretty long.

It's not going to help, though.

This is speed and coordination to win this event, and they're very evenly

matched. Crystal Smith with no problem with that ankle, obviously.

I don't think she's going to let it affect her no matter what.

There's Lisa.

Oh, damn.

Maybe this will be a break for the purple. No.

Now there goes Monique down. Trying to get up.

Very hard at this point to regain your composure.

But she does it.

Looks like that last lap again. Here comes Lisa Sohn.

Look at Marcy. Here goes Marcy out again.

Green's way ahead this time.

Oh, Marcy's got it covered.

And so does Gig. Not that far ahead. Anything can happen at this point.

Oh, slipping little balloons.

Gig's very fast, though. She sure is.

But not fast enough.

No, no. All right, that means that the green will move on. They've got four

events, so they'll move on to the finals to face Victoria Cook's team, her pink

team, in the finals here.

However, there's still money on the line with a tug-of-war.

And the girls will be competing in that event next up.

Take a look at the instant replay and see what happens.

This is where fine athletic competition becomes mud wrestling quickly.

Everybody made it in the mud at least once, almost.

Here comes Crystal. With a bad ankle.

Boy, what spirit here.

Once you're down, it's so hard to regain your footing because it's so slippery on

the bottom.

But they get up. Nothing stops them.

Oh, Lisa.

No, Lisa, keep your mouth closed.

Still amazing to me how the purple was so far in front several times and the

green just came back to get them both times.

Look at Monique. Down she goes.

I think she fell down in the first race as well, didn't she?

How do you explain a tug-of-war? Why, you have two teams at opposite ends of

rope pulling, right? Wrong.

No. Not up here. No, sir. We have tug-of-war with the two teams pulling,

but in the center, quicksand.

Lots of quicksand. Yes, sir. They tug and pull at each other until one team is

tugged or pulled past the predetermined mark.

And I'm telling you, to get to your mark, you have to go through the mud.

Make sense?

We were going to do it over here with the piranha. Would you like to see it?

Okay,

at

this point, the green team has taken Grease Pigskin, Pie in the Sky, Hump

Relay, Staple Chase. The purple's taken Filler Up and Sharkbait.

And we're moving on to the tug-of-war. Here we are.

Looks like the girls are getting all set.

Charlotte Kemp checking everything.

The girls are wearing protective gloves and bands that go up their arms because

of rope burns.

This gets tough. I tell you, once they hunker down, I'm sure that weight is

definitely a factor here. Let's take a look at the two anchor girls, as it

were.

Marcy Hansen for the green team.

And Gig.

And Monique and Linda are coaching the teams.

Didi's the smallest. Lorraine also the smallest. Well, at least one of the

smaller girls.

And they're both the front men. A lot of thought, I think, went into putting the

bigger girls at the back because they're the ones who are going to have to last

the longest. That's exactly where it should be.

Look at Lorraine, Michael. She is absolutely determined.

She has more spirit and more spunk than anybody I've ever met.

They're all determined.

She's yelling. She's yelling at Marie Monique St. Pierre to let go and not

just talk. I think she thinks righteous indignation will carry the day.

Well, I don't know.

Looks like the green's determination.

There goes Dee Dee in the water. There goes Charlotte.

It's over.

A flying leap. The green's taking it.

They've taken the tug-of-war along with her. That didn't take very long.

They made fast work of that.

Look at Charlotte.

Covered but with a smile on her face.

And some of the spectators giving a little moral support to our purple team.

Look at Monique. She's going to console Charlotte.

Nobody's going to console Charlotte at a very close distance. Right.

They'll phone it in.

Look at Kelly. She'll touch her because she's got gloves on.

Final score, green 5, purple 2. That means the green team's going to move

into the championship competition against that tough Victoria Cook team

from our first show.

Now let's thank the guys a good year blimp with an eye in the sky and move on

to give out our trophies.

As the sun slowly sets here at the Playboy Mansion, we've had a great day

of competition. I'd like to thank Chuck McCann, our commissioner of sports.

Thank you, Chuck.

It's been a rare and wonderful time. We've had a good time today.

Vicki, thank you. It's been my pleasure. Thank you.

You're welcome. Listen, all the girls have been waiting for this one moment,

and that's when they collect their trophies. And we're going to bring them

out and present them with their trophies right now. First, I'd like to start with

Crystal. Come on out, Crystal.

Hey, bravo, Crystal.

machine. All right, Marcy, come on out and get yours.

I'd like to thank Richard Gere for everything he's done.

For you personally or just done in... Okay.

Linda, come on out.

He's waiting for the playoffs.

And Lisa.

special award, Chuck. This is to the most valuable player, and it goes to

Lorraine Michaels.

All right, Lorraine! Come on, Lorraine.

Get your other trophy as well. Thank you.

Thank you.

I love you half for making this possible, and yay, Green Machine!

Let's hear it for Lorraine! Well,

those are our winners.

We've had a great day of competition, as I said before.

For Chuck McCann, Vicki McCarty, I'm Chuck Woolery.

thank you very much