Original subtitles

Now no one will convince them that this wasn't a miracle.

He's awake.

This is my masterpiece.

This was the only place where the bullet could get through

without hitting any vital organs.

What are you saying?

If I still had some authority,

I'd have you executed without trial.

Not for saving my life, but for making me look like a fool,

you son of a bitch.

-What are you doing, Aureliano? Enough! -I don't regret what I did.

Let go. Have you lost your mind?

Don't worry. It's all right.

He'll be okay. Excuse me.

ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE

Ladies and gentlemen, quiet down.

All right. Now let's see what you've got.

It's time to select the winner of the raffle.

-Maybe I'll win that accordion. -And the winner of the accordion is�

Yeah, right. This is rigged!

Come on. Show us the paper! Show us the paper!

-Jos� Arcadio Buend�a! -Let's see it, let's see it!

All right, all right, bravo!

Jos� Arcadio!

Hey, Jos� Arcadio! I said you won!

Hey!

After two whole weeks,

Aureliano Segundo still hadn't told Petra

that she had been sleeping with both him and his brother,

believing them to be the same man.

Do you like it?

Not more than I like you.

And instead of setting things straight,

he only prolonged the situation.

Meanwhile, Jos� Arcadio Segundo,

who had not shown any sign of imagination,

was taken over by the spirit of his great-grandfather.

Jos� Arcadio.

I'm busy.

Have you seen your brother?

He might be asleep still. I don't know.

No, he's not here.

You haven't eaten anything.

These flies are having a feast.

Is Great-Grandma in the kitchen?

Yes.

Why?

Mama �rsula, can I talk to you?

What are you up to this time, son?

Do you really have some money saved up?

Who told you that?

Look, I have an idea.

You better forget about that idea.

-But I haven't even told you what it is. -There's no need, Jos� Arcadio.

I already know this story by heart.

I recognize that look in your eyes,

and that's enough for me to say no.

Mama �rsula, listen to me.

I've been reading Great-Grandpa's notes for days,

studying his drawings and inventions.

He was a genius.

Yes, but he was also obsessive

and couldn't tell where reality ended

and where his madness began.

But have you seen this?

Listen to me, Jos� Arcadio.

The last thing I want is for you to share his fate.

Leave that in the past.

What's the matter with you?

-Mom's worried sick about you. -Okay, but that's not what I asked you.

You look like you could use a drink.

Come on, let's talk.

Do you know Great-Grandpa wanted to connect Macondo to the sea?

Ah! Told you those books were worth checking out.

How about a game?

-Are you even listening? -Yeah, yeah, but let's have a drink.

My friend, two rums, please.

Why isn't the river fit for navigation?

-Who knows? -River is right there.

I don't understand why nobody would follow Great-Grandpa's ideas.

Let's go to Catarino's.

Are you all right?

Imagine what could reach Macondo.

You aren't even listening, are you?

Yeah, Jos� Arcadio, I am.

Imagine if we could get to the capital but do it way faster.

I'm talking about actual progress.

If we had a port, we'd have boats, canoes, ships would dock�

If we had those, we'd have the whole world.

-The world? -Tourists, businessmen, ideas.

Weren't you the one saying nothing ever happens around here?

Listen, you can count on me for anything.

And don't worry about Great-Grandma

because, even if we have to lay every stone ourselves, then we will.

Long live Colonel Buend�a!

Long live the colonel!

All right, boys.

Let's put some sweat into it because we haven't earned our keep yet.

Here, right?

Lazy people aren't welcome in this house.

-Take that over there. Put it in the back. -Bring me that.

-Yes, ma'am. -And you, pick up all those dead leaves.

Look! This whole area is a complete mess.

Ah, that's perfect. That can go behind the tree.

Stop right there, Mr. Buend�a.

Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?

Allow me to explain, sir.

The president sent our troop here to protect you,

and it's best to be discreet.

-What are you talking about? -It's not safe for you to leave.

These all need to be watered.

You're not well enough yet.

Go and lay down, Aureliano.

Either you get 'em out of here, or I will.

-What's the matter? What is it? -I said get the hell out of here!

What in the world has gotten into you?

What's it to you if I put these boys to work?

You think I'm going to waste the only help the government's ever sent to us?

Are you insane?

You are way too old to believe in those fairy tales.

Mart�nez, go fetch the clothes I left on the clothes line.

What are you waiting for?

Get back to work!

Quit gossiping! The yard won't clean itself!

-All right, soldiers. You heard her. -Look, I'm warning you.

Enough with this nonsense. Pull yourself together.

You are too old to be acting like this.

I said I'm warning you.

Save your breath. Get it together, Aureliano.

Talk to her like that again, I swear I'll kill you.

Shut up, Jos� Arcadio.

You couldn't kill a fly if your life depended on it,

you pathetic little bastard!

Come on. We have to get this done quickly.

Who are you?

Mart�nez.

If you get mud on those sheets, Mama �rsula will kill you.

Hold it up. I'll help you clean it.

Here, like this. Hold it.

And dust it off like this.

Brush it off.

Give me a hand.

You think this is a joke?

Get out.

Get out!

Everyone out! Let's go!

-Move out! Come on! -Viva!

You better run.

And take those screaming lunatics with you!

I want them far away from my house!

We're gonna break through those.

It's not gonna be easy.

You got it.

If a Buend�a can't break those rocks, nobody can.

-You sound like your grandpa. -He's worse.

In an unexpected burst of audacity,

Jos� Arcadio recruited a group of men, gathered some tools,

and set out on a colossal undertaking,

determined to break stones, dig canals, and even level waterfalls.

-I got it, I got it. -Pull, pull!

-Just like that, come on. -We got it.

It was an impossible dream,

comparable only to those of his great-grandfather.

Come on now! It's not gonna work. It's stuck.

I'll get it. Here, hold this.

That's it. Keep pulling. Stack it on the others.

All right, all right, you ready?

Let's go, let's go.

And while his brother worked tirelessly,

Aureliano Segundo worked on cultivating laziness,

indulging in endless parties at Petra Cotes' house.

Petra!

Welcome. Come in.

Go on. Go right in.

How are you doing?

One night, Aureliano Segundo discovered he was sick.

Two days later, he found his brother soaked in sweat,

tears streaming down his face.

Jos� Arcadio told his brother that Petra had rejected him

for giving her a filthy disease.

Disgusting pig!

Who cares, anyway?

There's better ones than her.

I wouldn't be so sure, Jos� Arcadio.

Don't take it out on Petra. She doesn't know.

I tricked you guys.

See that accordion?

I won it at Petra's house, using your name.

Oh, when you were drunk at Catarino's�

-Where'd you think I was? -You're such a scumbag.

No, no! Hey, don't!

Who needs enemies with brothers like us?

-Who's gonna knock? -You, Aureliano.

Who is it?

Jos� Arcadio.

Oh fuck. Here we go.

I told you I didn't wanna see you again.

No, you didn't tell me.

You told him.

I'm Aureliano, Petra.

You confused me for my brother. I confused you for my brother.

We were all confused, but we don't mind sharing.

-I mean, my brother thought he was me so� -Hold on.

What's your name again?

-Aureliano. -Oh, really?

Why don't you go sleep with him, then, if you don't mind sharing?

Or in other words, go fuck yourself, Jos� Arcadio, Jos� Whoever you are.

Now leave me the hell alone!

Is it true you never had a boyfriend?

Well, it wasn't for a lack of suitors.

So then it is true.

You're a virgin.

What are you doing here?

The colonel will kill you if he finds out.

Mrs. Buend�a wants you to show me where you keep the salt.

This is the salt.

Remedios, I�

What's the matter?

I feel like my heart might explode.

It sounds fine to me.

You don't understand, Remedios.

I'm dying for you, you see?

Please don't leave me like this.

Remedios�

Reme�

Smile, Remedios.

You've officially killed your first Conservative.

For the love of God, Aureliano.

That's a human being you're talking about.

A very simple one, Mama �rsula.

He said he was dying for me like I'm some awful plague.

You see?

Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, young lady.

You are the brightest of the Buend�as.

That girl is gonna give me a heart attack.

Since you probably haven't heard anything, I have news.

The president's acting in violation of the treaty you signed.

What does it say?

Well, among other bullshit,

it says the president will not reward former soldiers with war pensions,

regardless of whether they are Liberal or Conservative.

So they've stabbed us in the back.

Our soldiers will be old men before they see a cent.

Aureliano�

Did you ever really trust them?

We have to respond immediately.

Well, that's not the only news I bring.

Next month, the president himself will be visiting Macondo.

He wants to give you a medal for your participation

in the peace treaty.

They're even holding a public ceremony for you at the church.

You think this little act is gonna work on me?

Tell me what I have to do to fix things.

Or is it that you don't miss me?

'Cause if you don't, then I'll leave.

Come on, Petra, I love you.

What you and I had was real, and you know that.

So who was the bad lay, then?

You or your brother?

Who do you think?

Hey, Petra.

-Huh? -Didn't you have two rabbits?

Yeah, why?

Has this happened before?

No. Never.

Do you think my roof would be full of holes if that were the case?

What if this works on cows?

Aureliano convinced himself that Petra's love

had the power to rouse nature.

Hey, boss.

Did a nice job here.

And without much effort,

he amassed one of the greatest fortunes in the whole swamp.

If we're gonna connect Macondo to the world,

the only way is if we can somehow dig the river out.

All right, so what do you need?

Fifty men at least, dynamite, some animals, and money

to motivate the guys.

We did it, Aureliano.

We did it, brother. We did it.

I told you, I told you.

I told you we could do it.

We did it, guys!

Aureliano Segundo gave his brother the money he needed

for his monumental project.

Send me a telegram if you need more money.

I will.

And Jos� Arcadio disappeared for a long time.

Aureliano Centeno.

Sir. Aureliano Amador.

My name's Aureliano Arcaya.

Aureliano Triste.

Nice to meet you. Aureliano Serrador.

With no plan between them,

and without even knowing one another,

the 17 Aurelianos had come from the farthest corners of the coast,

drawn by the talk of the ceremony to honor the colonel.

Who are they?

Mr. Buend�a.

Thank you so much for joining us and participating in this mass

before the big celebration.

As you know, it's Ash Wednesday, and�

Well, it's an important day for us.

Where is the president?

The president sends his most heartfelt apologies.

He had to attend to an urgent matter, but he sent us here on his behalf.

Remember, Aureliano, for you are dust,

and to dust you shall return.

More out of amusement than piety,

they let themselves be led to the communion rail,

where Father Antonio Isabel smeared ash on their foreheads.

The colonel endured it, thinking maybe he had been longing for that afternoon.

I'm not gonna deny it. For days, I have been anxiously waiting

for our head of state to come visit our town.

To put a bullet in his head myself.

To make him pay for the antiquated ways of his regime!

And since he's too busy to be here, tell him he better follow through

with the pensions he promised our veterans.

This is ridiculous.

Unless, of course, he'd rather I gather my old army of soldiers.

And when reunited, we'll go to war once again!

Take your cheap scrap of metal.

Your men would be really proud of you.

The Aurelianos left in a pack,

giving the villagers the impression that the Buend�a bloodline

would take root for centuries to come.

See you.

The only one who stayed behind was Aureliano Triste.

Who, when he went to wipe his forehead, realized the stain was permanent,

as were his brothers'.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Fernanda.

Please come with me.

FUNERAL WREATHS FOR SALE

Your mother is upstairs.

But don't bother her if she's still sleeping.

Why didn't you look for me sooner?

Darling.

Our family�

Our family

is unfathomably rich and powerful, darling.

And you'll be queen one day.

Over there. That's where we dock.

Further down. Keep pulling, guys.

Keep pulling! Just a little further!

Hold!

All right, let's go again!

Come on, boys! Pull!

Pull!

The news spread

that a strange ship was approaching the town.

We did it!

-Bonjour! -Bonjour, Macondo!

Tie the rope over there.

Right here, right here. Excuse me.

It was nothing more than a raft made of logs,

dragged by 20 men pulling heavy ropes along the riverbank.

Watch it. Pull us over to your side.

I knew he would come.

Are you seeing this, Petra?

-Welcome! Welcome, everyone! -Jos� Arcadio!

Aureliano!

Guys, give 'em a hand. Give 'em a hand.

Isn't that my friend Jos� Arcadio?

That's Jos� Arcadio, but not the one you're thinking of.

Pull! Come on, guys!

Everyone said you had stolen my money.

I told them to go to hell.

-Thank you, Brother. Thank you. -Bonjour! Bonjour!

Welcome.

Welcome to Macondo.

Let's hear it for Jos� Arcadio Buend�a!

-Buend�a! -Yeah!

And for Macondo!

You see, Petra? I told you.

That was the first and last ship

to ever dock in Macondo.

Et voil�.

All that remained of that unfortunate venture

was the breath of fresh air brought by the matrons from France.

At first, curiosity lured more clientele to the forbidden street.

And there were even rumors that respectable ladies

disguised themselves as working-class men

to see the novelty of the gramophone up close.

But after observing it so closely,

they came to the conclusion that it wasn't some magical device.

It was a mechanical trick that could never compare

to something as moving, as human,

and as alive as a real band of musicians.

-Mother of God! -Look at that!

It's beautiful!

Is it magic?

What is it?

Dazzled by so many and such marvelous inventions,

the people of Macondo didn't know where to begin in their amazement.

Remedios.

They'd stay up at night admiring the pale electric bulbs.

Hello.

Are you here for the funeral wreaths?

No.

Good afternoon, miss. We're looking for a--

My apologies, Chavarr�a.

This is my daughter, Fernanda.

Please, come in.

News of the colonel's threat to the president

had reached far away territories

and raised concern for those who still considered the Buend�a name

a symbol of subversion.

I'm listening.

This is your chance to make yourself indispensable

to the Conservative Party.

At your service, sir.

Fernanda, get your things ready.

You have a long trip ahead.

Convinced by her father

that the day of her coronation had arrived,

Fernanda set out for the distant kingdom where she would be queen.

I swear you are not of this world.

They pestered Remedios the Beauty so much

about cutting her abundant hair

that she simply shaved her head,

finally freeing herself from the heat.

Are you going to the carnival?

I don't think so.

Give me that.

Mama �rsula told me the only saint in this family

was your wife.

And that's why she gave me her name.

Hmm.

Do I look like her?

I don't know anymore.

But "Remedios,"

it's a beautiful name.

It really is.

Remedios!

Aureliano!

Welcome.

I'm Aureliano Buend�a. And you?

Fernanda del Carpio.

My friends.

A round of applause for Fernanda del Carpio,

the queen of Madagascar.

Long live the queen!

All hail the queen!

And for Remedios the Beauty,

our Queen of Macondo.

Let's hear it for the carnival!

Let's hear it for the Liberal Party!

Get down!

Get down!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Come on, come on. We gotta go.

-Oh my God, Remedios. -We almost got killed, but now we're fine.

What do you mean? What happened?

What happened?

Aureliano, what's going on?

Aureliano.

Bring some water.

You're all right.

What happened?

You have a pet porcupine?

It's the roses from the wreaths.

Sometimes I forget there's thorns to remove.

The wreaths?

We make wreaths for funerals.

Where do you make them?

What are you doing here?

Who sent you?

Hey, hey, calm down.

Shut up, Aureliano.

I'll calm down as soon as this lady tells me who tried to kill me!

What the hell are you talking about?

She came with the Bedouins, and they were the ones shooting at us!

The government sent you, didn't they?

Have you lost your mind?

My brother was right. You think the world revolves around you.

-You're a real man, aren't you? -Aureliano, that's enough!

Go on, I dare you.

-Back off, asshole. -What are you gonna do?

When peace was restored,

not one of the fake Bedouins was left in town.

And sprawled across the plaza, dead and wounded alike,

were nine clowns,

four columbines,

17 playing-card kings,

one devil,

three musicians,

two peers of France,

and three Japanese empresses.

Were you spying on me?

Not at all.

You were right.

The carnival was a disaster.

Please don't lecture me.

Well, I'm glad you think so

because I'm not here to lecture you.

Go find her, Aureliano.

There's more to life than just partying.

You don't have children with just anyone.

I saw the way you looked at her.

It was like seeing your great-grandfather.

Go on, son.

Go on.

The only real clues that Aureliano Segundo had

when he went to look for her

were her unmistakable moors accent

and her trade as a weaver of funeral wreaths.

He searched for her mercilessly

with the same courage Jos� Arcadio showed when he crossed the mountain range�

with the same blind pride with which the colonel promoted his useless wars�

and with the same tenacity

with which �rsula preserved their bloodline.

Aureliano Segundo pursued Fernanda

without a moment's discouragement.

And although he had never seen them and no one had ever described them to him,

he recognized at once the walls eaten away by bone salt.

And nailed to the door was the saddest,

most rain-washed cardboard sign, which read,

"Funeral wreaths for sale."

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