Original subtitles

See that aspiring model there?

That was me, Deb, until the day I died.

I thought I'd go straight to heaven,

but there was a bit of a mix-up

and I woke up in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane,

a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe,

and the only people who really know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.

I used to think everything happened for a reason...

Whoo! Ha-ha!

...and, well, I sure hope I was right.

♪ La, la, la, la-la-la-la

♪ La, la-la, la

So let me get this straight.

Because a pigeon pooped on me,

I'm supposed to believe it's good luck?

Yes, it is. In Korean culture.

That's not just because my parents own a dry cleaners.

Well, that is not too obvious.

What's not too obvious? They're doing it.

Doing what? How do you know?

They're walking and not talking.

That's how you always know.

Know what? It's so none of our business.

Am I...invisible?

Excuse me.

Is this a good time?

Yes, I think so.

Um, Jane, this is Lisa.

Lisa Shayne.

I don't normally talk to the lawyers.

I mean, I'm just a temp, but Teri said it would be okay.

Yeah, that's fine.

I-I've been taking night classes to complete my college degree--

Better late than never, right?

-and as part of my genealogy coursework,

I had to research my own DNA.

So I used an online service,

and I sent off a strand of my hair,

as well as a strand of my mother's hair.

The report said we were not related.

And that is just crazy, and so I sent it off again

and I included a strand of my dad's hair.

It said "not related" again.

I know I'm not adopted because my mom and dad's names

are on my birth certificate I have gone through everything.

I've researched every option. Just get to the point!

I think I was switched at birth.

Let's go into my office.

Okay.

I don't see my dad much, and I haven't told my mom

because I'm her only kid,

and if this is true, she'd be devastated.

Well, how about you?

Ha. I haven't thought that far.

You wouldn't be here if you hadn't.

You know what? You're right.

Look, um, maybe my biological parents

are the king and queen of Spain,

or maybe they just pump gas in Bakersfield.

But either way, I just want to know.

And if I find them, maybe it'll explain

some of these little parts of me that don't make sense,

like why do I love peanuts

but both my parents are allergic?

Did you know that a peanut's not a nut?

It's a bean. A woody, high-protein legume.

Okay, well, that was just an example.

Right.

Okay, Lisa, did you contact the hospital

to get your birth records?

I spoke to the administrator.

I told her my situation, and I got nowhere.

And that's why you're coming to me?

Uh-huh, because I just want to know the truth.

I mean, if I'm not who I thought I was, then who am I?

Come on, guys, dive into the vat.

They should call this candy Choco-gnat!

♪ Choco-gnat, Choco-gnat

♪ They should call this candy Choco-gnat ♪

It's outrageous. You are killing my business.

Because of you, the public thinks this

bug stuff is true.

The Choco-nut has been the Strickland family's

best-selling chocolate bar for three generations,

and this cartoon-- Is funny!

You're rich enough.

Why don't you buy yourself a sense of humor?

I want it off the Net now.

It's gotten almost a million hits.

That's just three weeks.

It's defamatory.

Not to mention a probable copyright infringement.

Supreme Court says parodies are free speech.

Look at Saturday Night Live.

You got fired off the assembly line

because you fell asleep on the job,

and this is your revenge.

Saturday Night Live is a funny show.

Don't you think?

We're done here.

The rumor about spider eggs killed Bubble Yum in the '80s.

Now, you gotta stop this.

Max, you're with the best litigators in the firm.

They're all over it.

I appreciate the sentiment,

and, uh, well, don't take this the wrong way,

but my company's business paid for this conference room.

I want you in court. It's your name on the door.

You're both second chair.

Lisa, guess what.

You got the hospital records already?

My friend Judge Summers got a speedy subpoena.

So the day you were born, there was only one other family

that had a Caucasian baby girl at St. Katherine's.

You were born three minutes apart.

Wow.

Yeah. They live in town.

Teri is tracking down their number,

and then I am going to set up a meeting for you.

A meeting?!

Yeah.

I just assumed you'd want to meet them,

ask for a DNA sample,

and see if they're really your biological family.

Yes, of course.

I just-- I don't wanna go by myself.

Jane, will you come with me?

Please?

Absolutely.

Okay.

I heard your key, but I just did a paraffin dip,

as per Anne Hathaway.

By any chance, did--

Tony call? He sure did.

Check this out.

Hey, Jane. It's Tony.

Just confirming tomorrow night. I'll pick you up at 7.

Later.

Did you hear the way he said "later"?

Yeah. Casual, cool, confident.

He's totally into you.

So why am I totally nervous?

It's just first-date jitters.

You'll put on that sexy, black, twist-front jersey dress,

and you will calm right down.

You're right.

Oh.

He said tomorrow night, right?

Yeah. Maybe he's early.

When were you gonna tell me you moved?

I went to your old place,

and this Filipino man answered in a shorty robe.

Thank God Teri gave me your new address.

Don't I get a hug?

Um...

Hi. Uh, I'm Stacy, Jane's roommate.

Oh, heh, uh, nice to meet you.

I'm Elaine.

Um...

I need a little more than that.

Great place!

Love the split level.

Stacy, who is that?

I don't know.

But if it's a home invasion, she's very nice.

Hello?

It's Teri. Is she there yet?

Who? Your mother.

My mother?! Oh. Your mother?

Mom!

Can you tell that I haven't been spray-tanning lately?

Rose and Martha think I look way too tan.

What do you think?

You look...great as ever.

I'm pale as a ghost. Ha-ha-ha!

And that really makes me stick out in Palm Desert.

Usually, I'm somewhere between

Eva Longoria and Whoopi Goldberg.

Well, I hope you'll be comfy on the couch.

Oh, it's fine.

I'll just ignore my disintegrating disc.

You two seem well-suited as roommates.

Yeah, we are.

We're super close.

You know, if "roommate" is the wrong term,

I'm open-minded.

It's not like that. Like what?

We are roommates.

Right, but...

Ah...

Honey, I'm home!

Ah, you made up my bed!

Fred, this is Elaine.

I'm Jane's mother.

Now she says it.

Uh, she's gonna be staying with us.

Oh, well, it's great to meet you.

I'm sure you'll find the couch comfortable.

Where am I sleeping? Oh, uh,

Fred's been crashing with us.

Uh, only until I find a sweet pad of my own.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I can sleep with Jane in her bed.

Uh...

Actually, Fred can sleep in my bed tonight.

Really? I'm going out with Corey,

and I'll probably stay the night, so...

Well, wait. Let's not jump into anything.

What if you're at dinner and he winks at the waitress,

You're like, "What!" And he's, "You don't own me!"

Then you throw your drink in his face

and he splits with the waitress and leaves you with the check...

For instance.

You are so kooky.

I've got to get dressed.

I gave up heaven for an empty bed.

Isn't that a Dixie Chicks song?

You got it bad, huh?

It's okay, honey. I understand.

I've been lonely since Mad About Youwas canceled.

Wait.

What about...Dad?

Can you believe it's been 10 years?

Wait, he died? I wish.

He couldn't keep it in his pants.

Sorry, Janie. Fred...

Maybe you should talk to me about Stacy.

I'm a good listener.

I'd love that, Elaine.

Janie...

make us some chamomile tea, will you?

Of course I will.

The defendant, Mr. Detweiller,

used the Choco-chunky Chipmunk

to adversely affect my client's business.

Mr. Detweiller was well aware of...

Was...

M-Mr. Detweiller knew that...

Uh, he...

Mr. Detweiller knew his cartoon

would damage the reputation of the company.

We're asking to have it removed from the Internet immediately.

What just happened?

I just got a little dizzy. I haven't eaten today.

But Ms. Kaswell handled it.

Yes, she did, but--

Won't happen again.

They're rich. They're really rich.

What if we have nothing to talk about?

What if they don't believe me?

Okay, I know that this is overwhelming,

but you are looking for answers, and that's why we're here.

Okay? So come on.

Wait. What did you tell them when you called?

I just said that I was a lawyer looking into a possible mix-up

with their daughter's medical records. Okay?

If I go in there,

my whole life could change.

And if you don't,

you'll always wonder "what if?"

Is that a Monet?

Yes, I bought it several years ago.

You know, if I had waited for the recession,

I could have saved two mil.

I can't do this. Just breathe.

Hello, darling.

Sorry to keep you waiting. It's all right.

I live in Santa Monica. Traffic's terrible.

This is my daughter, Sally.

Nice to meet you.

Lisa Shayne.

Will your wife be joining us?

My mother died when I was 2.

I'm so sorry.

She was beautiful.

On the phone, you mentioned medical records.

What's going on?

Uh, we're looking at the possibility of...

...a mix-up.

What kind of mix-up?

I believe there was a mistake when Sally was born.

Mr. Dodd, there's a chance Sally and Lisa may have been switched.

What?

Lisa's DNA doesn't match her parents,

and hospital records show that you were the only other--

Wait. You that think we were--

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Sir, if we could just get a sample of your DNA.

No, you're not getting anything from me.

You think I don't recognize a scam?

Get out!

No, no, no. I assure you, it's not.

I didn't mean to upset anybody.

I want the two of you to leave now!

Okay. All right.

Lisa, just go. Go.

He threw us out!

That man, who might be my father,

thinks I'm trying to scam him.

Oh, Jane, I just want to forget this ever happened!

Call me crazy,

but when I start something, I finish it.

I am going to find out the truth.

How are you gonna do that?

You know you can get DNA from the smallest amount of saliva?

What are you gonna do, French-kiss Frank Dodd?

All the answers are right here.

So then this rich guy, who might be Lisa's father,

kicked us out of his mansion.

I mean, I guess in retrospect,

I do understand why he was mad, but...

What?

Nothing.

It's just you've always been so closed off about your work,

about most things. I'm just not used to this.

Uh, really?

Janie, I didn't know you had moved or got a roommate.

I haven't been to your office since you got the job.

Well, why don't you come visit me tomorrow?

Really? Mm-hm.

Well, that's a nice change.

I...guess.

Oh, I know.

You give me an inch. I take a mile.

I'm too intrusive. Blah, blah, blah.

It was a nice moment.

I should have just left it alone.

Is this what you're wearing on your date?

Yeah. What do you think?

I think you need a scarf

or something to sling over your shoulders like that.

Oh, I'll get it.

You just...take your time.

Hi, I'm...

Here to see Jane?

You must be Tony.

I'm her mother, Elaine.

Oh. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Come on in!

I didn't know you, uh...

Do you live here?

Ha. Oh, no.

I popped in for a night or two.

We don't get to see each other much.

Oh, and here I am, stealing her away.

What? Oh, no. It's okay.

Hi, Tony.

Wow.

You look great.

Love the scarf.

Listen, uh...

I had no idea your mom was in town.

You guys don't get to see each other all that often.

It's true. We don't. We just spent an hour together.

If you'd like to reschedule, I totally understand.

Oh, don't worry about me. I'm cooking a pot roast.

Of course, it's big enough to feed a small army.

I love pot roast.

I can't believe you're a lawyer.

You're way too nice.

Actually, I, uh, just became a lawyer

to support my saxophone habit.

You're kidding.

Jane played the saxophone too.

Really? Soprano or alto?

Well...

Bass.

The only girl in marching band

with the arms to handle it.

And have you heard her sing?

Pipes like a church organ.

Not really.

♪ We are young

♪ Heartache to heartache

♪ We stand

Come on, Jane. Yeah!

Come on, Jane.

♪ No promises

♪ No demands

♪ Love is a battlefield

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh

♪ We are strong

♪ Strong

♪ No one can tell us We're wrong ♪

♪ Wrong

♪ Searchin' our hearts For so long ♪

♪ Both of us knowing

♪ Love is a battlefield

Okay.

That was awesome.

I'm pretty sure it was an anxiety attack.

Parker is a shark that eats other sharks for breakfast.

I don't think so.

Listen, a couple months ago,

he lost three huge cases, back to back.

Contingencies.

High-profile cases. It was a big financial hit.

And now you think he's gun-shy?

I think he's been doing a lot of delegating lately.

I mean, come on.

This is not a complicated cause of action.

He doesn't need two associates backing him up.

That's kind of terrifying.

What is?

You can achieve what he's achieved

and still suffer from performance anxiety.

Well,

from what I can tell,

you have nothing to worry about.

I'm so sorry about tonight.

Sorry?

The mother/daughter dinner theater.

Hey, moms push buttons.

I mean, I once dumped a whole plate of ravioli

in my mom's lap.

Of course, I was 9 at the time.

I had a really great time tonight.

Yeah, me too.

I'll, uh, call you tomorrow.

Okay. Mm-hm.

Real good. Okay, great.

Okay. Mm-hm.

I hope I didn't talk too much.

I was just having such a good time.

It's okay.

Do you think he liked me?

You?

Oh, the mother is very important in these situations.

When he looks at me,

he knows what he'll be getting in 20 years.

Um, 30.

and it was just a first date.

Well, he seems quite smitten.

Yeah, he does, doesn't he?

What's wrong?

I'm just not sure

why he's...smitten.

What do you mean?

You're beautiful, successful, smart,

and there are plenty of guys who like our type.

"Our type"?

A more full-figured woman.

There are guys who prefer women who are larger.

What? What?!

I saw it on Dr. Phil.

It's personal taste like anything else.

It shouldn't affect a woman's self-esteem,

and I'm happy to know that it doesn't affect yours.

Yeah, me too.

You need to see this.

The results came back on your rich guy's DNA test.

And?

Call Lisa.

She's waiting in your office now.

Good. Cancel my morning. Uh, before you go in there,

last night, Lisa told her mother everything.

There was lots of tears, lots of drama.

What? How do you know?

Because her mom's in your office too.

I know Lisa talked with you,

and I know this is difficult.

Mrs. Shayne, this should not change your relationship

with your daughter.

But the DNA test did prove

that Mr. Dodd is Lisa's biological father.

Oh, God.

Mom, it's okay.

I am prepared to file a suit against St. Katherine's Hospital

for negligence and medical malpractice.

Without facts in issue, this hearing will be expedited.

I don't understand. What are you suing for?

Well, the Dodds lead a very privileged life,

and Lisa was denied opportunities.

I gave her everything I could.

Of course you did,

and your parenting is not on trial.

This is crazy!

Come on, Lisa, let's get out of here.

No, Mom. Mom, I want Jane to file this suit.

But why? Because--

Maybe we weren't rich, but we gave you everything we could.

Yes, but, Mom, the hospital messed up,

and they should be held accountable.

You're gonna make their mistake 10 times worse.

You have a daughter out there.

Don't you want to meet her?

You're my daughter. That's all that matters.

Let it rest, please.

Mom, I'm sorry.

This is something I need to do.

Okay.

Mr. Strickland, I had an independent lab

analyze your chocolate,

and guess what we found.

I wouldn't know.

Exhibit A.

Please read the highlighted portion.

"Spectrometer analysis

detected trace amounts of insect particulates."

In your chocolate.

Insects...

...in the Choco-nut?

That is what it says, right?

Yes, but--

No more questions.

Redirect, Your Honor?

The FDA permits a certain amount of insect particulates

in chocolate, isn't that true?

Yes, trace amounts of natural contaminants are inevitable.

In fact, the permissible legal limit

is 60 parts per 1000 grams.

What about your chocolate?

Chocolateer's internal testing

showed 34 parts per 1000 grams.

Well below the legal limit?

Yes. We have very high standards.

No more questions.

What the hell is going on, Parker?

What?

We're employing the classic strategic counsel shift.

I don't care what you call it.

You were supposed to be questioning me.

The case is going our way.

Ms. Kaswell and Mr. Kent did an excellent job.

Yes, they did.

But I expect you to take the lead.

If you've got a problem with the way I'm handling this case,

then fire me.

I'm confused.

Your mother called.

You invited her to the office?

Yeah, she hasn't been here in years.

Because you don't want her here.

Jane Bingum's office.

Oh, hi, Tony!

Yeah, she's right...

...in a meeting.

Can she return? Okay, thanks.

What was that about? Uh, nothing.

I just don't want to talk to him right now. That's all.

When you say, "that's all," it's never...all.

Do you think Tony just likes me because of...

...my size? What?

Who put that idea into your head?

Wait. Let me guess. Mommy dearest.

Well, do you think it's true?

Unbelievable.

She's not my mother, and she drives me insane.

Wow. You really don't like her.

Every time she shows up, she wants something.

Usually money.

I just don't like it when anyone takes advantage of you.

No, I don't really think it's like that.

Janie?

Oh, Mom. Hi.

Hello, Mrs. Bingum.

Teri, you look a little tired.

Is Janie working you too hard?

I'm gonna get coffee.

Wow!

When did they remodel?

These offices are a showplace.

Yeah...

All that glass.

Aren't you worried about earthquakes?

Oh, God. I never thought about it till now.

Freddie!

Look at you with that mail cart. You are too much.

Uh, hey, Elaine, do you have a minute?

I found our conversation the other night enlightening,

and, um, I have some follow-up questions.

Well, I have to prep for court, so...

Fred, why don't you give Mom a tour,

and, uh, she can continue the therapy.

Sounds good to me. This way.

And to your left is Ben Landry's office,

the egotistical second-year who calls me "dude," which I hate.

So, what's on your mind?

When your husband left you, how did you get over it?

Wow, serious.

Stacy, right?

Look, Stacy's a cute girl,

but she is not the one.

Uh, how do you know that?

You know how you get over it?

You try and prove me wrong.

I don't-- I don't follow.

You go out, you meet lots of people,

and then see if you still feel the same way.

After my divorce, I was lonely.

And then I discovered a great big world out there.

I went on a cruise to Alaska,

a theater weekend to New York.

Hey, and I'm planning a safari. Ha-ha.

You know, I've never even been outside of L.A.

Well, there you go. I'll be blunt.

Self-pity? Not so attractive.

You want to get over Stacy,

you got to take life by the disco balls.

Oh, look, free cookies.

Mm!

Well! Ha-ha!

I got the VIP tour.

That other lawyer, Kim, has a wonderful balcony.

Yeah, it's in her contract.

Hey, I was wondering something, Mom.

Did you come here for anything in particular?

What do you mean?

I just mean, did you come to visit,

or was there another reason?

Does there have to be a reason?

I missed you!

Okay.

So... So you don't need

maybe some money?

Here we go.

I thought this trip felt different.

Wait. Different?

You always write me a check when you want me to leave.

But this time-- Wait, when I want you to leave?

Come on, Jane.

I'm your mother.

I know this is your thing.

Probably eases your guilt.

Tell me to buy something nice,

just like your father.

I thought this trip was different.

Guess I was wrong.

Oh, uh...

Jane.

I'm a wreck.

Can we drive to court together?

Yes. Uh, Lisa, this is Elaine, my mother.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Oh, your daughter's a genius. Are you coming to court with us?

I don't think so. No, but--

I'll just ask Fred to give me a ride back to the house.

Lisa Shayne v. St. Katherine's Hospital.

I'm ready to hear witnesses.

Ms. Shayne,

please tell the court about your educational background.

I went to Jackson Elementary School,

Lou Serna Middle School, and East Whittier High.

Ms. Dodd, please tell the court

about your educational background.

Briarlane Private Schools For Girls,

then International Baccalaureate School in Switzerland.

Did you continue your education beyond high school?

No, I had to get a full-time job to help my mother.

I attended Stanford undergrad and got my Master's at Yale.

And how are you currently employed?

I own an architectural firm in Long Beach.

I'm a temp at Harrison & Parker law firm.

How would you describe your financial well-being?

I live paycheck to paycheck.

I don't want for anything.

Is that what you're asking?

Yes, thank you.

No more questions.

That looks good.

If you want half, just say so.

I thought I did.

So how's everything going?

Believe it or not, it's going great.

I mean, I never thought I'd be with someone like Kim, but--

I was talking about your case.

Oh.

Between us, Parker's acting weird.

Some sort of anxiety about court.

Really?

We had to step in for him.

Kim thinks we should ignore it, but I don't know.

What if it gets worse?

A few years ago,

Carmen Electra did a runway show for Max Factor

in six-inch, thigh-high Gaultier boots.

She went down. Splat.

Awful. Mm.

Anyway, after that, she was terrified of runways,

but Kate Moss gave her an inspirational pep talk,

and now Carmen is back, better than ever,

with an aerobic striptease DVD.

So maybe Parker needs--

A pep talk from Kate Moss?

Yeah, well, if she's not available...

Thanks for the sandwich.

Hey, I heard you were going out with Tony Nicastro.

He was a couple of years ahead of me in law school.

He's a great guy.

And a lucky one.

Just dropped your mom off.

What did you do? She's leaving tonight.

No, I don't know what happened.

We were having a good time, and then it just fell apart.

You offered her money.

No, Teri said-- I th--

I don't understand why this has to be so difficult.

It was never this hard with my own mother.

You mean with Deb's mother.

And you're wrong. It was very difficult.

Like when she wouldn't let you go to Jake Mellman's party,

you wouldn't talk to her for a week.

Right, but--

You dropped out of community college,

she cut off your Bloomingdale's card.

That was cruel and unusual punishment.

You're not gonna get Deb's mom back.

But this woman, Elaine, she loves you.

She cares about you.

And if you want a mother in your life,

you're gonna have to let her know.

I'm due back in court right now.

Your Honor, the defense would like to call Carla Shayne

to the stand, please.

What? Why is he calling me?

Objection, Your Honor.

What relevance could my client's mother have

to the defense's case?

What's going on? I have no idea.

Ms. Shayne is on the witness list,

and we have the right to examine her.

Mr. Hanson is correct.

Mrs. Shayne will take the stand.

Ms. Shayne, could you tell us about the time

when your daughter needed surgery, at the age of 3?

I'd rather not.

Mrs. Shayne, you're under oath.

Lisa fell off a chair. She needed minor surgery.

The doctor asked you and your husband to give blood,

in case she needed it. Isn't that true?

I guess.

After you gave blood, what did the doctor say?

This is ridiculous.

I don't belong up here.

Answer the question.

After you gave blood, what did the doctors tell you?

Ms. Shayne...please.

He said that our blood types were inconsistent.

Did he explain to you what that meant?

In our case, it meant that

Lisa was not our biological child.

Lisa, I'm so sorry.

So you knew, 37 years ago,

that you were not Lisa's biological mother?

Well, what should I have done, returned her?

She was my baby. I loved her.

I didn't care.

Your Honor, because Ms. Shayne knew about this

37 years ago, the statute of limitations has expired.

Furthermore, parental notice would extend

to a minor child, as well.

Therefore, the statute has expired

for the plaintiff, as well.

I move for an immediate dismissal.

Um, before you rule, may I have a brief recess? Please?

We will stand in recess for one hour.

All I'm saying is,

how could you not tell me for all these years?

Why wouldn't you tell me?

It's like my whole life is a lie!

I didn't think of it that way.

You should have stayed out of it!

Okay, we have one hour to figure out what to do, so let's--

When I told you about the DNA, you pretended you didn't know.

You acted like you didn't know what I was talking about!

I didn't know what to do. I was afraid of losing you.

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen!

Shh!

Can I speak to you?

All of you.

Yeah.

I was just curious.

That whole "classic strategic counsel shift" thing,

I never learned that in law school.

Must have missed that day. That it?

Uh, you seemed a little stressed in court.

I'm just a little on edge.

You know, I...

You know, one time I was swimming in the Gulf of Mexico,

and the current dragged me down.

I struggled until I ran out of breath.

And then I let go.

It was all about giving up control.

Once I realized I didn't have any,

I could relax and swim with the tide

and head back to shore.

Next time you go in the ocean, you should be more careful.

Lisa Shayne's case should be dismissed

because the statute of limitations has expired

for both her and her mother, Carla.

But were you ever informed that you were switched at birth?

No, I knew nothing about it.

Therefore, we are amending this case

to make Sally Dodd the plaintiff.

The defense protests this substitution.

Overruled.

Sally,

can you please tell the court why you feel so strongly

about being represented here?

The woman who brought me home from the hospital

died when I was 2.

So because of the hospital's mistake,

you never had a mother.

Well, it's not that I didn't...

Didn't love the family that raised me,

and I'm very grateful for my life.

But...

...no amount of money can make up for not having a mother.

I have nothing further.

I am not inclined to wait any longer.

Counsel, are either one of you prepared to give the closing?

Of course, Your Honor.

Sorry I'm late.

Are you ready to close?

I was born ready.

"If you don't have anything nice to say about someone,

don't say anything at all."

Isn't that what we were all told?

Had the defendant followed that rule of thumb,

he could have avoided libeling my client,

which, make no mistake, is exactly what he's done.

The defendant set out with malicious intent

to make Max Strickland's company pay for firing him.

When he took to the Internet and maligned the Choco-nut,

he intended to damage the company,

and he did.

Imagine if I sent this cartoon out

to every one of Mr. Detweiller's future employers.

Mr. Detweiller wouldn't be happy

because we would be exaggerating his sloth.

But we wouldn't do that because defamation is illegal,

just as it's illegal for Mr. Detweiller

to defame the Choco-nut,

which, by the way,

is delicious.

And...he's back.

Mm-hm.

There was a children's book published in 1960

called Are You My Mother?

A mother bird leaves the nest to go get food,

and while she's gone, her chick hatches

and decides to go out and look for his mother.

So he asks a kitten, a hen, a dog, and a cow:

"Are you my mother?"

You're nodding.

You remember reading this book or having it read to you.

We all remember it.

And why?

I'll tell you why.

Because there is an innate need to know your mother.

Simply put, there is no stronger bond

than to a woman who loves us unconditionally.

And, yes, Lisa Shayne grew up with such a woman

and was well-mothered.

But Sally Dodd was denied a mother

because of a clerical error

that went unchecked for 40 years.

Sally, she won't complain about her childhood,

and she feels lucky to have grown up with a terrific father.

But she will always wonder:

"What if?"

Hey, I thought you were leaving.

Janie, I wasn't happy with the way we left things.

I'm so glad.

I thought I was gonna have to take a road trip to the desert.

I'm sorry about before.

You're sweet to always offer to buy me things.

I mean...

Heh-heh. I brag to all my friends

about my successful daughter, the lawyer.

But that's not why I come to visit.

I know.

And I guess I haven't always been one of those daughters

that shares everything,

but I'm working on it.

And I'm not the same person I used to be, Mom.

No, you're not.

This used to make you uncomfortable.

Um, I'll be right back.

Hey, Tony.

So are you avoiding me?

No, it's just-- It's this case.

I've been in a crunch.

Mm-hm.

You want to tell me the real reason?

Um...

What exactly do you like about--

I mean, assuming you like me.

I mean, I think you like me, and I hope that you do--

Now, what were you asking?

When are we going out to dinner?

Grayson.

The injunction was granted.

No more Choco-gnat.

Good news. And that was a great closing, sir.

So you know that story you told me

about almost drowning in the Gulf of Mexico.

I heard it on Larry King a couple months back.

Yeah...me too.

Thought you needed something inspirational.

Got you over the hump, right?

What got me over the hump was my junior associate

feeling he needed to give me a pep talk.

Talk about a sucker punch.

Understood. It won't happen again.

We prepared an offer, but I'm confused.

Our settlement is with the Dodds.

Yes, the Dodds have asked

that Lisa and Carla Shayne be present.

Yes. As far as I'm concerned,

they're family now.

Makes no difference to St. Katherine's.

That's been the problem all along.

For you, Ms. Dodd.

I believe you'll find the amount acceptable.

Actually, that's for Lisa to determine.

Sally, no. I can't.

It's okay, Lisa.

All they need to do is switch the names.

Do we have a deal?

Well, you've had quite a day, huh?

You reunited a family, kissed a dude,

and made peace with your mother.

Not bad.

Thank you for your help

with Mom.

Well,

once a guardian angel, always a guardian angel.

It is really nice to have you back.

And I'm sorry about Stacy,

but she gets bored quickly, so you'll get another chance.

I, uh...

I'm leaving.

Why?

Do you have to go back?

No, no, no, no. It's just...

I don't know. I--

I realized that Stacy became my everything,

and, um, I never really experienced anything.

There's a great big world out there,

and I want to grab it by the disco balls.

Or something like that.

I'm impressed.

Some of us had to be pushed into a new life,

and you're actually going after one.

Good for you.

Thank you for letting me crash at your place

and for helping me when I was supposed to be helping you.

Oh.

You know, a girl never forgets her first guardian angel.

When we first met, I wasn't so sure about you.

And now?

Are you fishing for a compliment?

That's so Deb.

Good luck, Fred.

Goodbye, Jane.

♪ Speaking truths to them

♪ Out on the distant horizon

♪ I cannot see an end

♪ The moment is now To live again ♪