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1
00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:15,912
Hold up!
2
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:19,082
{\an8}Yeah, how...? Smooth as an eel.
3
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:21,000
{\an8}-Good morning.
-Morning.
4
00:00:21,004 --> 00:00:22,272
{\an8}Something smells nice.
5
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,381
{\an8}What is this? "Polish Gals"?
Yeah.
6
00:00:26,385 --> 00:00:29,217
{\an8}The best sausage sandwich
in Lucas County.
7
00:00:29,221 --> 00:00:30,343
{\an8}Are we celebrating?
8
00:00:30,347 --> 00:00:31,970
{\an8}-Might be.
-Might be.
9
00:00:31,974 --> 00:00:34,347
{\an8}-Something to do with the billboard?
-Could be.
10
00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:37,058
{\an8}-Oh, it's a lovely billboard.
-It certainly is.
11
00:00:37,062 --> 00:00:39,852
I tried to talk Marv
into putting up a billboard
12
00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:42,939
congratulating us
on the awards, and he did it.
13
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,567
And we've got the number
for new subscriptions up there,
14
00:00:45,571 --> 00:00:46,859
so-so...
15
00:00:46,863 --> 00:00:48,945
Oh, man.
She's calling right now.
16
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:51,155
I feel like I'm in Times Square!
17
00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:54,221
{\an8}Apparently, though...
18
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:58,788
{\an8}-Yes?
-It's backfired. Badly.
19
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,500
{\an8}Marv put the number for
subscriptions on the billboard.
20
00:01:02,504 --> 00:01:05,003
{\an8}So people who forgot
to cancel their subscriptions,
21
00:01:05,007 --> 00:01:09,132
have been phoning,
in droves, to cancel.
22
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:11,196
{\an8}Oh, here I am.
23
00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:16,055
Oh... Ned? Word to the wise.
24
00:01:16,059 --> 00:01:17,390
Marv would hate to do it,
25
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:19,726
but just purely
in terms of making savings,
26
00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:22,582
he might cut a couple of pages
from the paper.
27
00:01:24,735 --> 00:01:26,441
{\an8}We got this.
28
00:01:59,144 --> 00:02:01,267
{\an8}Guys, a recent horrible irony
29
00:02:01,271 --> 00:02:03,269
{\an8}has caused us
to lose subscribers.
30
00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:05,438
{\an8}We need more
award-winning stories.
31
00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:07,774
So please. Come on.
Ideas, please.
32
00:02:07,778 --> 00:02:10,943
You can't have great ideas
every single day.
33
00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:12,612
-Take Mr. Digit.
-Oh, my God.
34
00:02:12,616 --> 00:02:15,615
No. Now, that germinated
for a long time.
35
00:02:15,619 --> 00:02:17,825
Yeah, Toledo isn't big enough
for great news
36
00:02:17,829 --> 00:02:20,578
-to happen every single day.
-You're so right, Nicole.
37
00:02:20,582 --> 00:02:22,372
Our readers out there,
they're punishing us
38
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,540
by not being interesting,
even to themselves.
39
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,959
Uh... We could put high school
sports on the front page.
40
00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:28,336
-Desperate.
-All right.
41
00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:30,380
Do you know the show Is It Cake?
42
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:33,466
Where people make cakes
that are so lifelike
43
00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:35,802
that you can't tell them apart
from real things.
44
00:02:35,806 --> 00:02:36,803
Yes.
45
00:02:36,807 --> 00:02:38,763
We say that
46
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,265
we are doing that with the paper.
47
00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:44,373
If they bite into it,
they have to buy it.
48
00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:47,855
-That's actually a good idea.
-Yeah.
49
00:02:47,859 --> 00:02:50,483
Not what you said.
I was talking to myself.
50
00:02:50,487 --> 00:02:52,318
We start a crusade.
51
00:02:52,322 --> 00:02:54,987
We create a journalistic
crusade, right?
52
00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:57,532
We pick an issue, and we just
hammer away at it every day
53
00:02:57,536 --> 00:03:00,910
from every different angle,
like noble knights.
54
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,704
-Oh...
-Sorry. Devil's advocate.
55
00:03:02,708 --> 00:03:04,789
Isn't that kind of
yellow journalism?
56
00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:06,874
Making news
instead of reporting it?
57
00:03:06,878 --> 00:03:09,168
I mean, who are you? The next
William Randolph Hearst?
58
00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:12,255
No, no. Hearst played
fast and loose with the truth.
59
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,340
The only thing he had
good taste in was women.
60
00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:15,550
His mistress, Marion Davies,
61
00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:17,176
was one of
the coolest women ever.
62
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:21,305
Probably cooler than any woman
of today, it sounds like.
63
00:03:21,309 --> 00:03:23,891
No, I know someone
as cool as her.
64
00:03:23,895 --> 00:03:26,269
It's just Marion had
a certain sort of a quality
65
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,854
that has never been duplicated.
66
00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:32,233
She could be gritty, plucky,
witty, alluring, beautiful.
67
00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,943
She was a piece of ass too.
68
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:37,029
Yeah, okay.
She was old-timey hot at best.
69
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,948
She's like what pretty was
70
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,576
-before the polio vaccine and sunblock.
-No.
71
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:44,537
She just came from a time when
sexuality was more restrained.
72
00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:46,205
That was a little weird.
73
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:49,083
Whoever ends up with Ned
is a lucky girl.
74
00:03:49,087 --> 00:03:51,919
Because it looks like
his hall pass died in 1936.
75
00:03:51,923 --> 00:03:56,048
Just picture Ned with this
old lady of his dreams,
76
00:03:56,052 --> 00:03:57,800
lifting her skirt,
77
00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,511
then finding another skirt
under that.
78
00:04:00,515 --> 00:04:02,930
Ooh...!
Another layer.
79
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,120
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
80
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:14,233
I just do that in here to get
the mockery out of my system.
81
00:04:14,237 --> 00:04:15,735
And then there is another skirt.
82
00:04:15,739 --> 00:04:18,070
And then there is another skirt.
83
00:04:18,074 --> 00:04:21,699
Oh, Marion. So many layers.
84
00:04:21,703 --> 00:04:23,493
I don't even know
what I'm looking for.
85
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,411
Yeah.
86
00:04:25,415 --> 00:04:29,123
-I feel better now.
-Yes, very funny. That's very funny.
87
00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:31,876
Let's get back to the crusade,
okay? Let's think big.
88
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,921
What about a crusade
against injustice?
89
00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:37,965
Mm-hm. That's a bit vague.
90
00:04:37,969 --> 00:04:40,176
What about something
a little more specific?
91
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,969
Like, I don't know. Potholes?
92
00:04:41,973 --> 00:04:45,264
-Potholes. Yes, I like that.
-Ooh, yeah.
93
00:04:45,268 --> 00:04:46,641
Potholes is good.
94
00:04:46,645 --> 00:04:48,726
Love that. Love potholes.
95
00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:51,729
Because everyone cares
about potholes. Right guys?
96
00:04:51,733 --> 00:04:54,023
You know, there's a huge one
near where I live.
97
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,399
It's so big it looks infected.
98
00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:57,318
-Why don't we check it out?
-Yeah.
99
00:04:57,322 --> 00:04:58,653
-Great. Let's do it.
-Cool.
100
00:04:58,657 --> 00:05:00,988
-What are we checking out?
-Mare's pothole.
101
00:05:00,992 --> 00:05:03,533
-It's infected.
-I realized I have a meeting right now.
102
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,785
-Let's pick it up in like half an hour.
-Sweet.
103
00:05:05,789 --> 00:05:08,517
-Cleared mine right up.
-Oh, thank you.
104
00:05:10,126 --> 00:05:12,708
I just, uh, remembered
from your training session
105
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:16,295
that if anything happens
romantically, uh, at work,
106
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:17,880
-that I have to report it.
-Yes.
107
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,924
Yes, that's right.
You have to report it to me.
108
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,134
You have to tell me all
the details of what happened.
109
00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:25,179
-It's my job to listen and to hear all the details.
-Okay.
110
00:05:25,183 --> 00:05:27,265
So don't skip any.
111
00:05:27,269 --> 00:05:31,811
All right, um, well, uh,
I have started
112
00:05:31,815 --> 00:05:34,188
what I think might be
a relationship, uh,
113
00:05:34,192 --> 00:05:38,192
recently with, um,
someone who works beneath me.
114
00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:40,069
-Oh my God.
-Yeah.
115
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,738
Okay. Okay.
116
00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:45,992
-That's insane. Okay. Um...
-I know.
117
00:05:45,996 --> 00:05:49,662
-Was it consensual? I have to ask.
-Yes, very consensual.
118
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,456
Says it was consensual.
Awesome.
119
00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:54,521
I'm so happy for you.
Does she have a name?
120
00:05:55,797 --> 00:05:57,211
Mare.
121
00:05:57,215 --> 00:05:58,671
Is that the Chinese one?
122
00:05:58,675 --> 00:06:03,175
No. She is, uh, white.
White lady, blonde hair.
123
00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:05,011
-Oh, oh, oh. Yes!
-She's got blue eyes.
124
00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:08,014
I know who you're talking about.
I can see it in my mind's eye.
125
00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:10,308
-She doesn't know that I'm here, though, so...
-Oh...
126
00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:13,352
Why? What now, she's
threatening you? Is she crazy?
127
00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:16,606
'Cause she... she is the one that
was in the military, right?
128
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,691
Or the army, was it?
'Cause she could be violent.
129
00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:20,484
A lot of those people
have concealed weapons
130
00:06:20,488 --> 00:06:21,819
and they wear it
around their ankle
131
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:23,404
so you would never know
it's a woman with a gun.
132
00:06:23,408 --> 00:06:27,533
It's not really a case of being
worried about her behavior.
133
00:06:27,537 --> 00:06:29,702
I think everything
is-is-is good there.
134
00:06:29,706 --> 00:06:31,370
But i-if I'm being honest,
135
00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:33,080
I worry that we both love
what we do,
136
00:06:33,084 --> 00:06:36,542
but what if we don't have
enough in common beyond that?
137
00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:37,960
We have
very different backgrounds
138
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,962
and different tastes and...
Could this be a mistake
139
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,214
if we don't actually share
those things?
140
00:06:42,218 --> 00:06:44,759
Anything you wanna know?
You can look, if you want.
141
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:47,803
-Uh... no... I'm...
-That's employment history, allergies.
142
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,014
Hey, don't give that girl
any eggplant.
143
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:52,308
-Except for that eggplant.
-Ugh.
144
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,977
I thought that maybe you could
put it in your secure file
145
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:58,689
that I came in and told you and
that everything's above board.
146
00:06:58,693 --> 00:07:01,734
Just so Mare and I are both,
you know, protected.
147
00:07:01,738 --> 00:07:05,112
Okay. Above board,
I'll put it everywhere.
148
00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:08,074
No, I
really... I'll write it down later.
149
00:07:08,078 --> 00:07:09,867
But, okay.
Come back and let me know
150
00:07:09,871 --> 00:07:12,787
how it progresses
and what happens and...
151
00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,830
If and when you guys
have sex and how it is,
152
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,624
and what is the positions
or whatever.
153
00:07:16,628 --> 00:07:18,417
-There's...
-Do I need to tell you that?
154
00:07:18,421 --> 00:07:20,002
Oh! No, not officially.
155
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,046
I just mean as friends.
How friends go,
156
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,756
"We did it doggy,
and we did it regular,
157
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,341
"and we did it front
facing," or...
158
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,885
If you want. I think it'd be
fun, come hang out with me.
159
00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:29,679
I feel like we never hang.
160
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,681
We actually started front facing.
161
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,932
Good, that's romantic.
162
00:07:32,936 --> 00:07:34,767
We're the only mammals
that do that.
163
00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:36,727
-Is that true?
-Mm-hm.
164
00:07:36,731 --> 00:07:39,793
Yeah, I've never done it
that way, but...
165
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,610
I need to bring Oscar
down below for a quick word
166
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:47,008
with the all powerful
lord of darkness.
167
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,074
I'm talking about Marv,
but, um...
168
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,535
Adam believes that Satan
is actually real,
169
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,182
and it's fun to trigger him.
170
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,582
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
171
00:07:58,586 --> 00:08:00,146
Oscar, no.
172
00:08:03,925 --> 00:08:05,256
Oscar, Enervate would like
173
00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:07,425
to buy Mr. Digit
to run in our other newspapers.
174
00:08:07,429 --> 00:08:11,303
I think we will both find
this very lucrative.
175
00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:12,680
As one man to another,
176
00:08:12,684 --> 00:08:15,224
do you think lake boats
are worth the trouble?
177
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,684
I do love to float.
178
00:08:16,688 --> 00:08:19,562
How does $10,000 sound?
179
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,085
-Monthly?
-As the full amount.
180
00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:26,610
Okay, so not boat money.
181
00:08:26,614 --> 00:08:28,863
I think it's
an interesting first step
182
00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:33,367
in what is sure to be
a lively negotiation.
183
00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:35,453
And I do love to haggle.
184
00:08:35,457 --> 00:08:36,704
The dance of it.
185
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:41,104
So I will see you later
at the ball.
186
00:08:51,222 --> 00:08:53,137
-Hey.
-Ah...
187
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,555
Phil.
188
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,766
You're coming along.
That's great.
189
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,559
It's important to document.
190
00:09:04,235 --> 00:09:07,318
Bro, this piece.
The one you did yesterday.
191
00:09:07,322 --> 00:09:10,404
"Construction workers building
a factory for automated labor."
192
00:09:10,408 --> 00:09:12,573
-That's fire.
-Thank you, man. I appreciate it.
193
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:15,201
How are you able to talk to
so many people that work there?
194
00:09:15,205 --> 00:09:17,328
Usually I can get maybe,
like, one good quote.
195
00:09:17,332 --> 00:09:20,247
So, like, what's your technique
to get people to talk?
196
00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:24,293
So basically it starts
with a look, right? Eye contact.
197
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,921
And then we enter a flow state
of conversation.
198
00:09:26,925 --> 00:09:30,028
-Hm...
-Just talking. And then, uh...
199
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,553
Nah, nah.
I-I'm making up quotes, man.
200
00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:38,474
-What?
-Hey! No screaming, please.
201
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,309
People are working here.
202
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,229
I hate getting quotes. You got
to steer the conversation
203
00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:45,356
so people say this one thing
you want them to say.
204
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,025
It's disgusting. It's
manipulation. I won't do it.
205
00:09:48,029 --> 00:09:50,236
You can't make up quotes.
You wanna get fired?
206
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,384
Man. I don't deserve this.
207
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,827
Don't stress, man. We'll figure
it out. I'm gonna help you out.
208
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,974
-Yeah? Okay.
-Yeah, we'll work on it.
209
00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:08,295
-Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
-Right?
210
00:10:08,299 --> 00:10:10,506
{\an8}Can't you see this
on the front page?
211
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:13,008
{\an8}It's just so huge
and infuriating.
212
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:15,469
{\an8}Totally. It's like...
It's like a meteor hit.
213
00:10:15,473 --> 00:10:17,638
Don't fall in there.
You might end up in China.
214
00:10:17,642 --> 00:10:20,391
Yes. Or, like, how deep
is your pothole?
215
00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:22,017
Or we could, like,
run a whole thing
216
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,644
where we hammer away
at it for months.
217
00:10:23,648 --> 00:10:27,043
-Yeah.
-Like "Pothole Watch." You know? "Day 26." I...
218
00:10:28,903 --> 00:10:32,027
-What's going on? Whoa, are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm all right.
219
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,279
I threw out my breakfast.
220
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:35,281
My blood sugar's dipping
a little bit.
221
00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:36,382
Okay. Um...
222
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,325
Is there something good
around here I could get...?
223
00:10:38,329 --> 00:10:41,203
I'm sorry. There's
literally nothing, but...
224
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,122
I mean, my apartment's
right up there.
225
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:46,041
I have, like, five quarts
of curry I made last night.
226
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:48,335
We can go have a break
and have lunch.
227
00:10:48,339 --> 00:10:50,004
Uh-huh.
228
00:10:50,008 --> 00:10:52,819
Oh, come on, you guys can find
a place to go, right?
229
00:10:54,596 --> 00:10:56,260
It's all right.
230
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:58,804
-Lunch with the doc crew.
-Yeah.
231
00:10:58,808 --> 00:11:00,723
-At Mare's. Work lunch.
-Yeah.
232
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,349
-Yeah. Let's go.
-Okay. Let's go.
233
00:11:02,353 --> 00:11:04,018
hard to measure the value
234
00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:05,519
financially of what a newspaper...
235
00:11:05,523 --> 00:11:06,979
I'm on with Perry Kronk,
236
00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:09,315
Wall Street Journal
crossword editor.
237
00:11:09,319 --> 00:11:11,150
It depends on a lot of factors,
238
00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:12,860
but an award-winning
syndicate game
239
00:11:12,864 --> 00:11:14,111
can range from
a few hundred bucks
240
00:11:14,115 --> 00:11:16,739
all the way to two million.
241
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,700
-Really? Is that so?
-Oh, my God!
242
00:11:19,704 --> 00:11:23,141
Let me check some stats
to see the latest trends in...
243
00:11:24,042 --> 00:11:26,498
No. Marv, I am so sorry.
244
00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:28,250
I don't know
what's gotten into Oscar.
245
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,002
I did my homework, Marv.
246
00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:31,837
And I'm willing
to sell Mr. Digit
247
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:34,882
to Enervate
for $1.2 million.
248
00:11:34,886 --> 00:11:36,800
What do you think of me now?
249
00:11:36,804 --> 00:11:39,449
-Okay, Oscar, I'll consider it.
-Okay.
250
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,391
Here we are.
251
00:11:44,395 --> 00:11:45,371
Should be...
252
00:11:46,731 --> 00:11:48,896
Bolt's kind of stuck.
253
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:50,835
The lock doesn't work.
254
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,755
Super's supposed to fix it.
255
00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,779
-Homey.
-Um... Act... Sorry.
256
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,697
Can you guys wait out here
for a second?
257
00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:02,076
I just wanna tidy up.
One second.
258
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,160
Oh...
259
00:12:03,164 --> 00:12:05,246
Ow!
260
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,498
-Need a hand? All right.
-Nope! All good.
261
00:12:07,502 --> 00:12:11,502
Hey, could I get a snack
or something to tide me over?
262
00:12:11,506 --> 00:12:14,213
-I'm kind of a little bit queasy here.
-Yeah.
263
00:12:14,217 --> 00:12:15,151
Yeah?
264
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,279
Hi.
265
00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:22,554
-Well...
-Hey.
266
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,974
-You know Oscar's little Mr. Digit?
-Yes.
267
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,184
Well, that little worm
never reminded me
268
00:12:27,188 --> 00:12:28,727
to force him to sign a contract.
269
00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:31,814
-So now he's milking Marv for 1.2 million.
-No.
270
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:35,150
Yeah. When really it should be
us who's milking Marv.
271
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:38,028
Totally. We are the milkers.
272
00:12:38,032 --> 00:12:41,532
-So how do we milk?
-Well, we create our own game.
273
00:12:41,536 --> 00:12:43,200
We come in a few bucks cheaper.
274
00:12:43,204 --> 00:12:46,453
-Oh...
-We are both very creative. This will be easy.
275
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:49,748
-Oh... Child's play.
-I'm a child, you know.
276
00:12:49,752 --> 00:12:51,875
Mmm... Sort of.
277
00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:54,107
This is it. Sorry for the mess.
278
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,011
Wow! I've always wanted
to sit in one of these. Can I?
279
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,846
-Oh, please.
-What do I do? Pull this?
280
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:06,307
You better. Yeah.
281
00:13:06,311 --> 00:13:08,142
Oh, man.
282
00:13:08,146 --> 00:13:10,686
-That was my granny's La-Z-Boy.
-Oh, that's nice.
283
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,229
She died in it.
284
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,209
Cool.
285
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,402
Okay. I'll go heat up
some curry.
286
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,195
-Don't snoop.
-I won't.
287
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,031
Oh, my God, is that you?
288
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,741
Aah!
289
00:13:23,745 --> 00:13:25,159
-What was that?
-Nothing.
290
00:13:25,163 --> 00:13:27,328
-You okay?
-Yep.
291
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,958
You read all these books?
292
00:13:32,962 --> 00:13:34,897
-Most of them.
-Uh-huh.
293
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:36,920
Cool.
294
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,383
What's in this box?
Is it a secret?
295
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,886
No, no, no, don't touch that.
Don't touch that.
296
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,179
No, no, no, that's my gun.
297
00:13:45,183 --> 00:13:46,388
-What?
-That's my gun.
298
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,910
-Don't touch that.
-Okay.
299
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:54,463
Ah...
300
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,816
This is it, it's the place
that scammed my niece.
301
00:13:57,820 --> 00:13:59,610
"The Jurassic Immersive
Experience Park,
302
00:13:59,614 --> 00:14:02,404
where science and fun meet
without refunds."
303
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:04,490
-No, this is sketchy, man.
-Exactly.
304
00:14:04,494 --> 00:14:06,742
-Sketchy.
-Let's get out of sight.
305
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,953
-So we're gonna write an article and expose this scam.
-Okay.
306
00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:11,413
-I need you to go inside...
-Yeah?
307
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,707
-Get some quotes.
-You mean like, by myself?
308
00:14:13,711 --> 00:14:16,043
-I thought we were gonna be a team, dude.
-Yeah.
309
00:14:16,047 --> 00:14:18,253
You would lie and deceive,
and I would watch,
310
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:20,047
-and just try to be okay...
-No, no, no.
311
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:21,277
You can do this.
312
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:24,760
Can't believe this is happening.
313
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,596
Citizen Kane. Yes.
314
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,516
Oh, yeah, no. My dad
is big into physical media.
315
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,519
Gave me all these VHS tapes
and a tape player.
316
00:14:33,523 --> 00:14:35,020
Nice.
317
00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:37,043
Xanadu!
318
00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:39,358
I don't...
319
00:14:39,362 --> 00:14:41,652
Have you've not seen
Citizen Kane?
320
00:14:41,656 --> 00:14:43,862
Never seen it.
321
00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:45,406
-We should watch it.
-Sure.
322
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:48,283
As research for William
Randolph Hearst.
323
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,160
Yes. Yes, that would be great.
324
00:14:50,164 --> 00:14:51,787
-Mm-hm.
-Yeah.
325
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,540
I am thinking of a game.
326
00:14:54,544 --> 00:14:57,459
-Good on you.
-And the game is...
327
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,648
Here it comes.
328
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:04,133
-I lost it.
-Wall framed pictures.
329
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,969
Ceiling tiles, smoke alarm.
330
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,470
Chair. Too much makeup.
331
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:11,765
-Don't look at me for ideas.
-Go on then. Slap me.
332
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:13,225
-What?
-Slap me.
333
00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:15,310
Let's jar something loose.
334
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,979
-I like that.
-Mm-hm.
335
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:19,189
Ay! Yes! Wow.
336
00:15:19,193 --> 00:15:21,108
Number slaps. Number bungalow.
337
00:15:21,112 --> 00:15:22,526
Number wack-a. Number thack-a.
338
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,486
Number. Number. Number Dash.
Number Dash.
339
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,823
Oh, my gosh. I like that.
Number Dash.
340
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,492
-We made it. Number Dash.
-Number Dash.
341
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:35,831
There are 45 other
Number Dashes already out there.
342
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,729
Come on, Kenneth. Think, man!
343
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,569
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
344
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,016
Mmm...
345
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,101
-Yeah?
-That is delicious.
346
00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:58,562
-Oh, good. Good.
-Thank you.
347
00:15:58,566 --> 00:15:59,563
Wow!
348
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,357
Wow.
349
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:05,319
I'm in. Confirm visual.
350
00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:06,612
Yep, I can see you.
351
00:16:06,616 --> 00:16:08,280
Tuck your phone
in your jacket pocket
352
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:09,531
so the camera's facing out.
353
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,450
Walk and see who you can talk to.
354
00:16:11,454 --> 00:16:12,826
I'm right there with you.
355
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:16,038
This is pretty underwhelming,
man.
356
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,373
You see this, right?
Dinosaur with the giant teeth?
357
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:20,000
That's not realistic even.
358
00:16:20,004 --> 00:16:21,627
-Terrible, man.
-Yeah, it is.
359
00:16:21,631 --> 00:16:22,565
No effort.
360
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:27,466
Wait, what's happening?
I lost visual.
361
00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:28,926
I'm just getting a couple pics.
362
00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:32,054
Hey. It's 20 bucks
to ride the dinosaur.
363
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,764
This place sucks.
364
00:16:33,768 --> 00:16:36,391
Whoo. Is there
cayenne pepper in this?
365
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,935
-It's hot in here, right?
-Mm.
366
00:16:37,939 --> 00:16:40,854
-It's a little hot.
-Yeah. All good. I, um...
367
00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:43,232
-I like it. It's delicious.
-The heat in this building is so janky.
368
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:45,067
I'm gonna get the super.
I know he's...
369
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,443
I do this literally all the time.
370
00:16:46,447 --> 00:16:49,947
Okay. Thank you.
371
00:17:02,505 --> 00:17:04,127
-Hey.
-I'm Jeff.
372
00:17:04,131 --> 00:17:08,215
Hey. How's it going? I'm Ned.
Uh... Radiator's over there.
373
00:17:08,219 --> 00:17:10,488
Yeah, it is. I see it.
374
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,100
Uh... That's the refrigerator,
Jeff.
375
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,601
I think the fridge is fine.
376
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,603
How's the curry?
377
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:22,304
Yeah.
378
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:26,275
Maybe you can have some
when you're done.
379
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,547
-With my beer?
-With your work.
380
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,635
Maybe don't drink
other people's beers, buddy.
381
00:17:33,744 --> 00:17:35,784
Seriously, how many have
you had today?
382
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:36,785
Excuse me?
383
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,308
I don't know,
it just keeps, like, clanging.
384
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,311
-Dad.
-Dad?
385
00:17:44,755 --> 00:17:47,296
It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.
386
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,277
I'm Ned. Mare's, uh...
387
00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:51,487
boss.
388
00:17:58,352 --> 00:17:59,349
Hi, Marv.
389
00:17:59,353 --> 00:18:00,517
Hello, Marv.
390
00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:01,789
Now.
391
00:18:02,857 --> 00:18:04,396
Uh-huh.
392
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,210
"Señor Number."
393
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:08,567
Why not numero?
394
00:18:08,571 --> 00:18:10,694
Well, we thought it had
broader appeal this way.
395
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,237
-Yeah.
-Something for everybody.
396
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:13,655
But you're absolutely right.
397
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,241
Go hard or go home,
it should be numero.
398
00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:18,243
Well, it feels to me...
399
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:22,351
And I hate to use this term,
but, uh, racist.
400
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,793
How so exactly?
I'm not seeing it, Marv.
401
00:18:26,797 --> 00:18:33,717
Well, see, what we have here
is Mr. Digit by Oscar Martinez.
402
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:37,054
-Yes.
-And then we have a very similar concept,
403
00:18:37,058 --> 00:18:41,391
"Señor Number"
and he has on a sombrero.
404
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:44,019
-Yeah.
-A big mustache.
405
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:47,105
-Mm-hm.
-I mean, I wouldn't say racism per se.
406
00:18:47,109 --> 00:18:51,401
I mean, racism, on the whole
is supposed to be negative.
407
00:18:51,405 --> 00:18:55,113
And this is more
sort of pandering.
408
00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:56,865
-Mm.
-Exactly, exactly.
409
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:59,743
We are showing respect
for this culture
410
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:03,080
by bothering
to trick them into liking this.
411
00:19:03,084 --> 00:19:04,581
-Pass.
-Yeah, it's a pass.
412
00:19:04,585 --> 00:19:06,500
That's a hard pass, I'm afraid.
413
00:19:06,504 --> 00:19:08,001
That's awful.
414
00:19:08,005 --> 00:19:09,419
You can't do...
415
00:19:09,423 --> 00:19:11,880
In this day and age,
you can't really do that.
416
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:15,613
I'm... I'm so sorry, I just...
I thought you were him.
417
00:19:16,931 --> 00:19:19,346
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
418
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:20,597
I'm sure you were just on edge,
419
00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:22,933
having to defend
a woman's fridge.
420
00:19:22,937 --> 00:19:25,977
You can always blame it
on the "mleh" curry.
421
00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:27,688
Hey.
422
00:19:27,692 --> 00:19:33,110
Citizen Kane.
Such a classic, right? Rosebud.
423
00:19:33,114 --> 00:19:34,548
So...
424
00:19:35,324 --> 00:19:36,780
See you later, slugger.
425
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:37,760
Love you.
426
00:19:43,624 --> 00:19:45,080
Nice to meet you.
427
00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:52,254
All right. See that guy?
I want you to go over to him.
428
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:53,755
I want you to talk to him, okay?
429
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:54,965
I want you to get him to say,
430
00:19:54,969 --> 00:19:56,842
"This is not
an acceptable museum."
431
00:19:56,846 --> 00:20:00,178
Okay. But I don't think
he's gonna wanna say that.
432
00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:04,015
Hey, man. That's an awesome
dinosaur mask you got on.
433
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:06,789
I'm really excited
to talk to you.
434
00:20:09,984 --> 00:20:13,233
Bro, what are you doing?
That was a great opening.
435
00:20:13,237 --> 00:20:14,609
That was the most pathetic thing
436
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:16,153
I've ever seen in my entire life.
437
00:20:16,157 --> 00:20:17,904
You got me out here
without a parachute, man.
438
00:20:17,908 --> 00:20:19,948
What are you doing to me?
Jeez.
439
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,241
Travis. Travis.
440
00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:22,680
Tr...
441
00:20:23,873 --> 00:20:25,620
If I was acting weird...
442
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:27,456
-I've never met a dad before.
-I could strangle him.
443
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,832
My college girlfriend
had two moms.
444
00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:30,500
It's all I talk about
in therapy.
445
00:20:30,504 --> 00:20:31,635
We are so codependent.
446
00:20:31,639 --> 00:20:33,587
I was gonna watch Roseanne
to prepare.
447
00:20:33,591 --> 00:20:35,172
-That's really sweet.
-I know.
448
00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:38,362
-Look.
-What?
449
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:42,575
-Those bastards. They filled it in.
-Yeah.
450
00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:47,684
-It's filled in.
-And they did a good job.
451
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:49,519
Well, there goes the crusade.
452
00:20:49,523 --> 00:20:52,773
-You misspoke how?
-I did a bit more research.
453
00:20:52,777 --> 00:20:54,858
The market is saturated
with sudoku puzzles.
454
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,693
Technically, Mr. Digit is not...
455
00:20:56,697 --> 00:20:59,550
You're looking at the lower end
of my previous estimate.
456
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,991
So like 500k?
457
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,785
Like a few free weekends
458
00:21:04,789 --> 00:21:06,036
at a Courtyard Marriott.
459
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,370
-All right.
-The market...
460
00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:16,525
Mr. Putnam.
461
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:20,091
Marv. I love this company.
462
00:21:20,095 --> 00:21:24,721
And you've been a very good
partner to me and Mr. Digit.
463
00:21:24,725 --> 00:21:27,557
So...
let's just call it 500k.
464
00:21:27,561 --> 00:21:29,351
I know I'm leaving money
on the table,
465
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:31,123
but I'd rather sleep at night.
466
00:21:38,072 --> 00:21:39,778
I hear you, I hear you.
467
00:21:39,782 --> 00:21:42,239
500k may be a little steep
for friends.
468
00:21:42,243 --> 00:21:43,594
100k even.
469
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,180
100k.
470
00:21:47,414 --> 00:21:49,704
You pay me, good sir, or I'm...
471
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:51,414
-25k.
-Done.
472
00:21:51,418 --> 00:21:53,458
-Okay.
-Thank you.
473
00:21:53,462 --> 00:21:54,772
Oscar.
474
00:21:55,965 --> 00:21:56,753
You're good.
475
00:21:56,757 --> 00:21:58,129
All right then.
476
00:21:58,133 --> 00:22:01,633
Cool. You live
right next to a park.
477
00:22:01,637 --> 00:22:04,761
No, no, that's
the Glass Club golf course.
478
00:22:04,765 --> 00:22:07,013
Nearest park's,
like, 20 minutes away.
479
00:22:07,017 --> 00:22:09,224
There must be hundreds of acres.
480
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:10,976
-That's all private?
-Mm-hm.
481
00:22:10,980 --> 00:22:13,311
Oh, yeah. I think they'd
try and tackle any non-member
482
00:22:13,315 --> 00:22:14,688
who tried to use it.
483
00:22:14,692 --> 00:22:16,606
That's ridiculous.
It's so unfair.
484
00:22:16,610 --> 00:22:20,861
Glass Club bought
200 acres for $200 in 1910
485
00:22:20,865 --> 00:22:22,842
and pay zero property taxes.
486
00:22:24,118 --> 00:22:26,762
I think we've found
a new crusade.
487
00:22:33,669 --> 00:22:35,959
Released in 1941, Citizen Kane
488
00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:39,129
tops every critic's list
for greatest film ever made.
489
00:22:39,133 --> 00:22:41,631
Feast your eyes.
490
00:22:41,635 --> 00:22:42,966
What are we watching, guys?
491
00:22:42,970 --> 00:22:45,760
-What do you guys want?
-Oh, great.
492
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:48,638
Sorry, chief. Couldn't find
anybody to go on record.
493
00:22:48,642 --> 00:22:53,977
Oh. Oh, but this
picture's amazing.
494
00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:55,478
-Yeah, this is...
-Can I see?
495
00:22:55,482 --> 00:22:56,625
This is great.
496
00:22:57,693 --> 00:22:59,190
-Hey.
-Good job, guys.
497
00:22:59,194 --> 00:23:01,526
Well, um, I'm so glad
you like it,
498
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:02,986
but I will now be resigning
499
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:04,863
as a reportorial-style
journalist,
500
00:23:04,867 --> 00:23:06,781
effective immediately
for moral reasons.
501
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,783
Here's my press pass, homemade.
502
00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:10,535
Thought I took that already.
503
00:23:10,539 --> 00:23:12,787
Yeah, well
they're pretty easy to make.
504
00:23:12,791 --> 00:23:16,291
I mean, Ned, it's pretty great.
505
00:23:16,295 --> 00:23:20,045
Yeah. I don't wanna lose you
from the team, Travis.
506
00:23:20,049 --> 00:23:22,797
Would you consider staying on
and taking photos?
507
00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:24,674
I think you would make
a great photojournalist
508
00:23:24,678 --> 00:23:25,717
for the paper.
509
00:23:25,721 --> 00:23:26,843
Yes. I accept.
510
00:23:26,847 --> 00:23:28,303
-Yeah.
-Yes? Fantastic.
511
00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:30,180
Thank you. Take that from you.
512
00:23:30,184 --> 00:23:31,932
Okay.
We will miss your articles.
513
00:23:31,936 --> 00:23:33,808
No one on the team
got better quotes.
514
00:23:33,812 --> 00:23:36,040
That's right.
Okay, see you guys.
515
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:44,861
{\an8}Please tell me you're not gonna
watch me the entire time.
516
00:23:44,865 --> 00:23:47,280
{\an8}No.
517
00:23:47,284 --> 00:23:49,866
{\an8}Our good old friend
William Randolph Hearst,
518
00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:51,534
{\an8}he ordered all of his newspapers
519
00:23:51,538 --> 00:23:53,328
{\an8}to pretend
that this didn't exist.
520
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:55,664
{\an8}-Really? Dang.
-Mm-hm.
521
00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:57,540
{\an8}Come on slugger,
nice and loud.
522
00:23:57,544 --> 00:24:00,794
{\an8}Oh, my God. No. No, no, no.
523
00:24:00,798 --> 00:24:02,712
{\an8}You don't wanna watch this.
524
00:24:02,716 --> 00:24:05,382
{\an8}I-I absolutely do.
525
00:24:05,386 --> 00:24:06,925
{\an8}-That's me.
-Wow.
526
00:24:06,929 --> 00:24:08,551
{\an8}I can't believe my dad taped over
527
00:24:08,555 --> 00:24:09,761
{\an8}an American classic for this.
528
00:24:09,765 --> 00:24:12,242
{\an8}I... I can believe it.
529
00:24:13,644 --> 00:24:16,893
{\an8}♪ Consider yourself well in ♪
530
00:24:16,897 --> 00:24:19,062
{\an8}I think your dad
made the right choice.
531
00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:21,189
{\an8}This is perfect.
532
00:24:21,193 --> 00:24:24,567
{\an8}♪ There isn't a lot to spare ♪
533
00:24:24,571 --> 00:24:25,902
{\an8}♪ Who cares ♪
534
00:24:25,906 --> 00:24:28,634
{\an8}♪ Whatever we got we share ♪
37478
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