All language subtitles for The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligans Island 1981 Comedy 2 hours

Just sit right back and you'll hear a
tale, a tale of a fateful trip that

started from this tropic port aboard
this tiny ship. The weather started

getting rough. The tiny ship was lost.

If not for the courage of the fearless
crew, the middle would be lost.

The middle would be lost.

The ship's aground on the shore of this
uncharted desert isle, where they were

rescued one fine day, but it took a
long, long while.

It took a long, long while.

The Howells built a hotel here to
commemorate their stay with Gilligan,

the skipper crew,

the millionaire and his wife,

the movie star.

The Professor and Marianne, here on
Killikens Live!

Skipper?

Skipper?

Skipper, are you sleeping?

Yes, Gilligan, I'm sleeping.

That's too bad. I had some important
news to tell you.

What was it?

Well, there's no sense in telling you if
you're sleeping, you wouldn't even hear

it.

Gilligan, I'm wide awake now. What is
the important news?

I just remembered where I left my comic
book.

Oh, that's important.

Go to sleep Gilligan first. I have to
get my comic book

that new tune.

I'm scared.

My head's sticking straight up.

And so is mine.

Go in the cockpit and see what's
happening, man.

Dewey is a good coach and a good parlor.

Right now, I wish he was a coach instead
of a parlor.

You're in the middle of a city ocean. I
can't even swim.

Stand by Jaws 1 and Jaws 2 and get ready
Jaws 3.

Keep calm.

This is no time to panic. It may be our
only time, man.

I just saw Dewey. I got some good news
and some bad news.

Well, what's the good news?

The good news is Dewey's fixing the
engine. There's no problem.

Well, what's the bad news?

Well, the bad news is I just made up the
good news.

Something's wrong with the electrical
system.

He can't even radio for help.

Ben?

Ben? What's happening?

Hey, Dewey, can you fix it?

But I did put it on automatic pilot.

And I want you fellas to know that I'm
doing everything I can.

How's our chances?

Well, I took advantage of the tailwind.

I tried heading due north.

I tried heading due west.

Which way are we heading now?

Due down.

Heading due down, we're going to get due
west. I knew we should have taken the

train. Nah, be cool, fellas.
Everything's going to be all right

because I found a tiny little island on
the map.

And that's where we're heading.

And if we can make it there, I can land
the plane.

What if we can't reach it? Yeah, what if
we can't make it? Yeah, that's right.

Slam dunk!

We are anchored here, out of sight of
these individual

huts which constitute the Castaway's
Hotel.

Repeat the last seven words, please.

Individual thoughts which constitute the
Castaway's Hotel.

Very good, George.

And my old adversary, Thurston Howell
III and his family, commemorated the

years they were shipwrecked by keeping
the hotel primitive.

No cars, no electricity, no phones.

It's very difficult to contact the
outside world, which makes it a perfect

place for our secret plans.

George, there's no need to repeat my
laugh.

where was i oh yes yes last year when i
stayed at the castaway hotel i

accidentally stumbled into this cave
located here and in that cave i made the

greatest discovery of this entire
century a brand new element i call

supremium i am not familiar with that
word supremium is a perfect

source of energy but in order to take
control of it i must get rid of the

seven castaways that will take

I wouldn't have it any other way,
George.

George!

I have good news, JJ.

Tell me, Olga.

You have given the supremium the final
test.

That is the good news.

In spite of this intense glow, there is
no heat, no radiation.

Supremium is energy in its purest form.

Mala. of light.

There is enough energy in this one rock
to heat the entire state of Idaho for

two weeks in the wintertime.

Who cares? Idaho is small potatoes.

What about weapons, bombs, warheads,
missiles, supremely atomic power?

Whoever controls this new energy source
controls the world.

Ten times more powerful than any other
known source of energy.

And soon it will be mine.

All mine.

The other people on this island, do they
know about Supremium? Absolutely not.

I wandered into that cave by accident.

I'm the only living soul that knows
about this phenomenon.

You almost scared me out of my wits.

How can you be scared out of something
you don't have?

Turn off that lamp and go to sleep.

That's not a lamp, Skipper. That's a
funny rock I found in the cave.

Then turn off the funny rock and go to
sleep. We've got to get up early in the

morning.

That's better.

Now go to sleep.

Good night, Skipper.

Skipper?

Good night, Gilligan.

Thank you

What's the matter now?

There's a great big hairy spider on my
chest.

Come on, Gilligan, you're just having
another one of your bad dreams.

Oh, what a relief.

For a minute there, I thought you were
real. Bye.

Gilligan, I see a real hairy spider.

Hey, don't worry, Skipper, it's just a
bad dream.

what are you doing out there get in here

where is he

what's all the noise about i had a bad

dream about a big ugly spider and
skipper had the same dream it wasn't a

bad dream professor the spider's right
there good grief That's a Lycosa

centralia. I thought it was a spider. It
is a spider, Gilligan. It's a

particularly venomous species of
tarantula, and its bite is deadly.

There's something very puzzling about
this.

I must examine this species a little
more carefully.

Why don't you gentlemen get those two
fishing poles over there and steer

toward this jar?

Is this one of the poles?

Here, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey.
Here, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. Come on,

Spidey. Come on, Spidey. Get in there.
There. There he goes. Right in the jar.

All right, Gilligan, quick. Get
something to cover the jar.

It's the most terrible thing I've ever
heard. Imagine putting a deadly spider

into somebody's hut.

Yeah, that really is terrible.

It's so big and it's so hairy.

It must be a male spider.

How do you girls know about a big hairy
spider?

What do you mean how we know?

We captured one in our hut.

We put it in this jar.

Did you ever see anything so ugly?

Yeah, the one we caught. It's a lot more
horrible than that one. I mean, this one

we got has got beady eyes and long black
legs and fangs and they're going... Come

on. Here.

This one is ours.

Well, it looks just like ours.

Maybe they're brothers, huh?

Well... at least cousins yes another
lycosa centralia a species never found

in this part of the world now we found
them no food

no water no baggage no nothing just
ain't basketball that's our thing

man yeah if we were beggars we'll say
bread we were scared we say snow if we

was a bunch of forget it what good are
eight basketballs gonna do in the middle

of this ocean.

How come I get stuck with all the dumb
jobs around here? Like picking mangoes

and polishing brass and carrying
suitcases. Did Mr. Howell make me a

partner in this place like the rest of
you? Of course he did, Gilligan. He made

us all limited partners.

Only you're a little more limited than
the rest of us.

What's a limited partner?

Gilligan, any five-year-old kid knows
what a limited partner is.

What is it?

I don't know. I'm not a five-year-old
kid.

Now get moving!

We were going to the beach, but we're
not sure about the weather. Yeah, if

it's going to be cloudy, we have to put
some warmer clothes on.

Oh, no, don't do that.

I mean, it'll be nice and sunny and
beautiful, even if I have to push the

clouds away myself personally.

But I tell you what I'll do. I'll go and
check the latest weather report.

Thanks, Skipper. Bye.

He's cute.

way to start our world tour. We lost our
plane, we lost our equipment, and we

lost our uniforms.

We lost everything except the most
important thing of all, our lives. Yeah,

that's right.

That's thinking positive.

Now look, fellas, you can't make any
parts by sitting around.

So we got to build a fire, we got to
make shelter, dry our clothes, and get

some coconuts and dates for food, and be
ready in a half an hour.

Ready for what? For our first practice.

practice that's right see because when
we get rescued we can be ready for the

tour so on the double let's go what if
there are wild animals or

cannibals in there oh not on these tiny
little islands we're thousands of miles

from any kind of intelligent life

Oh, Junior, I'm so glad you were able to
be here to help run the island in your

daddy's absence.

Well, actually, I was very busy, Mummy.

I didn't know whether to come to the
island or simply send for it.

Oh, you dear boy.

You've got your daddy's sense of humor.

Yeah, well...

Among other things.

Come in.

Hi, Lucinda. Why, Mr.

Skipper, this is a surprise.

I don't believe you have an appointment
with Mrs. Howell. I know.

Or with Thurston Howell IV.

I know. I just wanted to check the
weather report on their private

television set. Oh, well, I'm real
sorry.

Honest to lilacs, I am, but...

I don't believe you have a viewing
appointment either.

Good gracious, what's all the chattering
about?

Well, I wanted to look at your TV for a
few minutes. Why?

I wanted to check the weather report.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Captain, but it's
almost time for the financial report.

But the weather report is important.

Well, now, Captain, in your humble
opinion, and any opinion that isn't a

whole opinion is humble indeed, what is
more important?

The weather report or the financial
report?

Oh, Junior, I know the answer to that.

The financial report, of course. It's
always sunny if you've got money.

Oh, I made a wrong.

Touché, Mommy.

Mr. Howell, please, the weather news
will be over by the time your program

comes on.

Oh. Well, all right, let's turn on the
telly. Lucinda?

Mr. Skipper?

Teddy, you sit right here.

And I lift this up and I push this
button first.

Goodbye, George. And here's Johnny.

And now the latest on the disappearance
of the plane carrying the Harlem

Globetrotters. Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. Good heavens.

How perfectly awful.

Who are the Harlem Globetrotters?

The Harlem Globetrotters are the
greatest team in the history of the

sport. And it would be tragic if
anything happened to them.

Tonight, it's fear that those great
international ambassadors of goodwill

are lost somewhere in the Pacific.

But she really knocks him down. Shop it
is Donald now.

Cinderfellas, yeah. We can get a
cinderfella fat. But she can't get till

she got a name. And she got a name from
sweet Georgia, Georgia Brown. Yeah.

Hey, tell her.

Shh.

What's that?

Here's an update on the Harlem
Globetrotters story.

There is still no sign of their plane,
but the search continues.

Authorities suspect some sort of
electrical malfunction because of the

sudden break in radio communications.

In any event, it's hard to believe that
they could be lost without a trace, but

thus far... Lucinda, I just saw the most
amazing thing on the other side of the

island. Hush, Gilligan, we're viewing
this special program about the Harlem

Globetrotters. Yeah, but you don't...
Professor... Not now, Gilligan.

Just look at those globetrotters, the
angles and trajectories they achieve.

I just saw some guys that can do that
with coconuts. Listen, I... Ginger, I

just saw some guys that are bigger than
those guys.

I always wanted to be a cheerleader.

But whenever I shook my pom-poms, nobody
watched the game.

Mary Ann, you'll believe it, I just
saw... What's the matter, Mary Ann?

Oh, Gilligan, when I was a little
girl... Oh, come on, Mary Ann, don't

cry. Everybody was a little girl, unless
they were a little boy. Oh, you don't

understand. When I was a little girl, my
daddy used to take me to see the

Globetrotters. And now my whole
childhood is just flashing in front of

my eyes.

Yeah, but Mary Ann... Oh, shh!

A smile is more effective than a fist.
What a team.

I bet a million dollars there isn't
anyone that they couldn't beat. Would

you believe if I told you I just saw a
bunch of guys who can play basketball as

good as those guys?

I believe you, Gilligan.

Why didn't you tell it to me?

Skipper, guess what I saw on the other
side of the island?

Not now, Gilligan.

Did you ever see a team like those
Globetrotters before?

Yeah, on the other side of the island.

Listen, Skipper, I... Skipper, I've been
thinking.

Those Harlem Globetrotters were lost on
the plane around here, and those guys

look exactly like these guys, and these
guys look exactly like those guys. Maybe

those guys are these guys, and these
guys are those guys.

Why haven't you told this to someone
before?

Well, I tried, Skipper, I tried.

have isolated the ferric supremium from
the silicate formations and distilled

the residue by liquefaction.

Simple English, please.

I have squeezed the rock and made
supremium juice.

And is the power as remarkable as you'd
hoped?

We are looking at pure supremium.

There is enough power in one drop of
pure supremium to cool the city of Miami

for the entire month of July.

I talk of world conquest, and she talks
about air conditioning.

I have something to show you, JJ.

With one drop of pure supremium.

Very interesting.

But that's just a little toy. I'd like
to see a... A bigger demonstration.

You want something bigger?

Let me see.

My, George, you've got it.

No, no, not me. What?

It's all in the interest of science, my
friend.

Lower, lower, sweet little honey.

What publicity for the hotel.

Daddy will be so proud. We'll pack
guests in here like goldfish.

Don't you mean sardines, Mr. Howell?

No, no, I mean goldfish.

24 karat, of course.

Mommy, where have you been?

Oh, I was changing, Junior.

Yes, and I have been personally
supervising all the decorations.

That's almost like physical labor.

I'm sorry, dear, but one has to change,
you know. One can't wear just anything

to a... Exactly what is it we are
celebrating?

The glorious discovery of the
globetrotters.

Well, bless my begonias, here they come
now!

Quiet, everyone!

Your speech, Mr. Howell. Oh, thank you.
I am Thurston Howell IV, your

genial and warm-hearted host, and the
apple of my father's eye.

On behalf of this small island, I
welcome the large...

is eagerly awaiting word of your rescue.

And to show how grateful we are that you
have survived the ordeal, while at the

Castaways Hotel, you will be our honored
guests.

There will be no charge.

Who wrote the speech?

I did, Mr. Hale.

Gentlemen,

we will notify the outside world at
once.

Meanwhile, as long as you're at this
hotel, feel... free to... Lucinda, your

vocabulary.

In conclusion, gentlemen, enjoy
yourselves.

You have the run of the place.

Or the dribble of the place, if you
prefer.

A little basketball joke there.

Two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three,
four.

One, two, one, two, one, two.

One, one, one, one, one, one.

And stretch.

Oh, very good, ladies. Very good.

See you tomorrow morning. Thanks.

Bye.

Marianne, I've got a great new dance
step to show you.

It's called the salt and pepper.

Ah, great.

Show her the steps.

You just keep shaking until the music
stops.

It's easy.

Great for slitting the hips.

Thank you.

you can imagine. What?

We could have been killed.

There I was, facing what could be
certain death and an uncertain future.

Would this be my last moment? Had I
drawn my last breath?

Could I depend on the arrival of Colonel
Scott and the 12th Cavalry? Each moment

seemed an eternity.

And what about my child?

Would I ever see little Running Wolf
again?

Only time would tell. And time was
running out.

I ask you. I ask you.

Yes, yes, ask me what?

I don't know.

I can't remember my next line.

It was from a movie I was in, Feathers
on the Frontier.

I think it was a western.

Marianne, do you know what she's talking
about?

Yes, we were in the gym hut and the
whole wall fell in on us. We could have

been killed.

But it's impossible for that wall to
fall down. It's made of the sturdiest

bamboo and the strongest pegs.

George to Mr. Pearson.

George to Mr. Pearson, come in.

George to Mr. Pearson, come in.

Pearson here.

Let's have the report on plan A, George.

Trickery and deceit does not seem to be
working.

I'll be the judge of that, George.

The tarantulas did not frighten the
castaways off the island.

Neither did the collapsing walls, nor
did the dying plants.

And the only thing I have left is...
I've heard enough, George.

Do not get mad at me, Mr. Pearson.

It was your plan.

I am just four stupid robots doing what
you programmed me to do.

I've got to get rid of those castaways.

So the Supremium will be mine, all mine.
But how?

How?

Relax, J.J. How can I relax?

I've got to get control of that island.

You will think of some mean and rotten
plan. You always do.

It's true.

I win because I always win.

Now, you do understand.

Of course.

First, we lift it.

When I say now, you go pull the rope.

You think I was dumb or something?

Or something.

Now, when I say heave, start lifting.

Right.

Are you ready? In a second.

Ready Where

are your feet

in my sneakers? That's where I always
keep them

Let's

try it again

Ready? All right.

Gilligan, now!

Now what?

The rope! Go pull the rope!

This part is easy.

I want you to start walking, and when I
yell stop, I want you to stop.

Gotcha. And remember, stop dead in your
tracks, not another step.

I'll put the pegs in myself.

You can trust me.

Excuse me, I seem to be lost. How do I
find the beach?

Oh, it's right back to that one.

Take good care of these people now.

Mr. Howell. No, no, no, please. No more
problems. I am exhausted.

I've been charming all morning.

No problem, sir. You will be happy to
hear a good friend of your father's has

just arrived.

Oh. One of the Astors, no doubt.

No, sir.

Vanderbilt, perhaps?

No, sir.

At least a Rockefeller.

Mr. J.J. Pearson, sir.

Who?

J.J. Pearson?

Oh, no.

Not him. He's Daddy's worst enemy.

Mummy?

Mommy, where are you? And I need you!

Mommy!

Mommy?

Mommy's here, Junior.

What's wrong?

You will never guess what's happened.

You're in such a dither.

You haven't even noticed my new outfit.

Oh, it's beautiful.

What's the occasion?

To greet J.J. Pearson.

You knew that that scoundrel was coming
to the island?

Scoundrel? I always thought he was
enchanting.

J.J. Pearson is a swine.

Oh, but he has a savoir-faire.

Just because he kisses your hand.

He's a snake!

Make up your mind, Junior. Is he a swine
or is he a snake?

Both!

He's a Yale man.

I know why you hate him so. Because he
always makes bets with you and your

father. And he always wins.

Lily! JJ!

You look younger every time I see you,
my dear.

And more captivating.

Count the diamonds, mummy.

And you, Junior, you haven't changed a
bit.

I know, and I've been insulted.

Junior!

Oh, allow me to introduce my colleague,
the world-famous scientist, Dr. Olga

Smetana.

Charmed. Oh, very charmed indeed.

My pleasure.

Pardon me, Mr. Howell.

I have Gilligan waiting down at the dock
for their luggage.

Alone?

You're right.

I'd better go down and check on him,
make sure that he doesn't get lost.

Oh, Professor, so good to see you again.

Welcome back, Mr. Pearson. Thank you.
I'm sure you know Dr. August Mettner.

Dr. Smetana, on our island.

I've always dreamed of meeting you.

You must be the professor.

Yes, I must be.

To meet a colleague of such esteem is
the reason I came to this island. Oh,

you're too kind.

I have read your paper on the osmosis
and the symbiosis of the Venus flight

map. Oh, that was nothing compared with
your work on the interaction of kinetics

and energy.

I was wondering...

Would it be possible for me to examine
your facilities?

I'd be delighted.

Please.

Well, Junior, I'll bet anything you're
glad to see me.

Bet?

Did you say bet?

And did you say anything?

My poor baby will never learn.

It will give me great pleasure to take
your money once again.

What say we make a small wager about
time?

Yes. I'll bet $10,000 that it'll become
dark as night within the next minute.

Within one minute? Why, it's only just
past noon.

Well, come, come. Do we have a bet?

Yes, yes, it's a bet.

$10,000.

A little thing known as an eclipse, my
boy.

That should keep you on your toes.

Of all the sneaky, underhanded tricks.

Cash will do nicely.

Never seen anything like you before.

I have never seen anything like you.

You sure do talk funny.

I talk as I am programmed.

Why do you talk as you do?

What? Because I'm Gilligan.

I am George.

Hi, George.

George!

Go, George!

Listen, I came here to help you with the
luggage, okay?

I do not need help.

I can do anything.

Can you do this?

That is difficult.

I do not have ears.

Can you do this?

How did you do that?

I could teach you, but you would only do
it one time.

I'll give you a hand with the bags
anyway.

Dallas, open this for me.

Fellas, the people here at the hotel
have treated us great.

Helped us lay out the practice court,
get the equipment and uniforms.

Now, one of them asked if we would play
the castaways team for the

championship of this hour.

Now, can anybody guess who issued that
challenge?

You have another plan.

Exactly.

All I need is a pen, the deed to the
island, and the Harlem Globetrotters to

have the entire world in the palm of my
hand.

I want to be loved by you, just you, and
nobody else

but you.

I wanna be loved by you alone I

wanna be kissed by you, just you

And nobody else but you I wanna be
kissed by

you alone I couldn't aspire

I wanna be loved by you, just you, and
nobody else but you.

I wanna be loved by you, alone.

I wanna be kissed by you, just you, and
nobody else

but you.

I wanna be kissed...

I want to be loved by you, just you, and
nobody else but you.

Do you believe in kismet? That depends.

I own one of the largest movie studios
in Hollywood.

I believe in fate, destiny, and kismet.

Good. I'm about to film a musical
version of Gone with the Wind to be

called simply... Marvelous title.

I've changed the locale from the deep
south to a tropical island in the

Pacific.

Marvelous locale.

The last line of the film is...

Frankly, Tondoleo, I don't give a damn.

Marvelous last line.

Once I was searching for the perfect
actress.

And now that I've heard you sing and
dance, the search is over.

Sign here.

Gee, I don't know.

Why are you hesitating, my dear?

Well, it would mean leaving the island,
my friends, the shipwreck room.

Just to make this one picture?

No sequel, no TV series, no
videocassette?

Who knows?

Lucinda? Lucinda, I must talk to Mrs.
Howell and her son.

Why, of course, Professor.

You do have an appointment, I presume.

No, but it is a matter of life and
death.

A matter of life and death, and you
don't even have an appointment?

For shame!

Lucinda, they are trying to kill us all.

Including the house?

Over my dead body?

How can one pose with all that racket?

I have got to talk to both of you.

What do you think?

Perfect likeness?

We're getting off the track. We have an
emergency here.

Look.

Look at the scratches on these pegs from
the wall of the gym hut. Some odd type

of wrench was used to pull them out.

And my plant's deliberately poisoned.

And look at Mr. Howell's teddy bear.

Daddy's teddy!

Daddy's teddy!

He should have taken it with him. A
giant boulder was deliberately loosened

and rolled down a hill aimed directly at
your lounge chairs. They were smashed to

smithereens. Oh, poor little thing.

Wall-to-wall teddy.

I was sitting in your chair. Imagine if
you had been sitting there.

Assault and battery is one thing. Murder
is another, but when you flatten a man's

teddy, you've gone too far.

Mrs. Howell, do you have any enemies?

Oh, yes, thousands.

And that's only the A-list.

I want you to write down the names of
your enemies, especially those you

consider most suspicious, and I'll be
back.

I'll be back. How about next Thursday at
11?

By 11, we could all be dead.

Well, in that case, perhaps I can
squeeze you in at 10.

There you are.

Ooh, ooh, this skipper's gonna be sore.

Oh, Gilligan, why do you have to make so
many mistakes?

Maybe one of your transistors is loose.

Who said that?

Me.

Hi, George.

Listen, people don't have transistors.
They have brains.

Maybe that's why people make so many
mistakes.

Sometimes I wish I was a robot, then I'd
hardly never make a mistake.

Yes, it is really tariff.

Tariff.

Tariff.

Ick. Thank you, Gilligan. You're
welcome, George.

You did me a favor. Now I will do you a
favor.

Sign this, and you will get one million
dollars.

One million dollars just for signing
this? Two million.

Two million dollars?

Three million.

Hey, this is a deed to the island.

Four million.

I'm not selling out my planes for any
reason.

Gold. That's no reason.

Diamond. That's no reason.

That's a reason.

But I'm going to tell all my friends
what you made me do.

Another mistake again and again.

Well, my dear, supper will soon be
ready.

That's all right.

I love this first course.

Oh, I'm sure you'll enjoy the rest of
the meal.

Patty de foie gras, bacon duck,
truffles. Do you like truffles?

Trifle.

Would you like some more champagne?

Just a truffle.

Do you ever wonder, my dear, what the
future holds in store for you?

Oh, well, everybody wonders about that.

Don't you ever wonder what you're going
to be when you grow up?

No. You see, I believe in psychic
phenomena.

You know, they say the best way to tell
someone's future is through their

handwriting.

Oh, what they won't think of next.

I'd love to read yours.

Yeah, what should I write?

How about a letter home?

Dear Mom, I'm in Mr. Pearson's yacht.
Sign your name right there.

Very good.

Oh, you read Ginger's handwriting, too.

Could I have a little more champagne?

We're fresh out.

Actually, the catamaran is not as simple
to operate as it looks.

You have to have a bit of knowledge of
the tides.

Certainly, you have to have knowledge of
the winds. And you must have a feeling

for the ocean itself.

Now, I'd be glad to share my experiences
with you both personally.

Excuse me, Skipper.

Do you have a moment for me, please?

Certainly. Bon voyage, ladies.

Yes, Doctor.

Oh, please, you can call me Olga.

It is not for me, exactly. It is for Mr.
Pearson.

You see, his new nuclear-powered ocean
liner is almost complete, but he cannot

find a worthy captain.

Well, there must be someone around
available like that.

He has already turned down Jacques
Cousteau, Admiral Rickover, also Gregory

Peck. All good men. Oh, good, but not
good enough.

Oh, no, he is looking for a man who is
an ex... expert at seamanship, a born

leader, fearless, someone who can handle
any emergency, perhaps having been

shipwrecked here.

Do you happen to know anyone like that?

There aren't too many of us.

I was thinking, if you and I could come
up with just one name.

I think I have just the man.

Oh, good.

I want you to understand that no one has
been able to steer the ship safely past

these obstacles.

Mr. Pearson, none of those men were
worthy of the title captain.

John Skipper, it is remarkable.

He has scored 93 out of a possible 100
points.

That's nothing compared to what I went
through with the minnow.

Sign the scorecard and make it official.
It's my pleasure.

93, eh?

I should have had 100, but I really
didn't expect that giant shark.

Admiral, you're the captain for me.

Oh, that's very nice, Mr. Pearson, but
after all the troubles that I shared

with my friends, I really must think
that over.

You're quite a guy. You don't mind if I
show this to my little buddy Gilligan?

Good day, doctor.

But this is not the scorecard.

This is the deed to the island.

And signed by your own hand.

Which I shall immediately unsign.

George.

You don't think Mr. Nuts and Bolts here
is going to be a match for me, do you?

Come on, George.

Come on.

I can't believe that I fell for a trick
like that.

I was just plain dumb.

You sure were, Skipper.

Gilligan, I can call me dumb, but you
can't call me dumb. Aye, aye, sir. But

it sure was nice to hear someone else
call dumb for a change.

As soon as J.J. gets our signatures, the
island will belong to him.

Yeah, well, J.J. Pearson didn't get my
signature.

Oh, great.

George did.

It was scary, Skipper.

First he tried to bribe me, but that
didn't work. And then he got very

violent.

Did he try to hit you?

No, not me, the palm tree. He cut it in
half with one karate chop.

So I signed the paper right away.

I didn't want to be standing out there
with all my sap running out.

Gilligan, you could never run out of
sap.

This really would be terrible if J.J.
Pearson owned this island, huh?

The only reason Pearson wants the
island?

It's because he wants to own the whole
world's supply of supremium.

What's that?

That stuff that's glowing on the walls.

Just to read comic books?

No, Gilligan, so he can control the
world.

We've got to warn those others not to
sign the deed.

Well, if he had a phone, we could call
him.

If we could just get out of here, we
could tell him personally.

Now, come on!

What is it now?

You just squashed the mango in my back
pocket. Hey, Skipper, you got a

handkerchief? Of course I have a
handkerchief in my back pocket.

For all the good that'll do you.

If you could reach my handkerchief in my
back pocket, you could reach the knife

in my back pocket, and we could cut our
way out of these ropes.

Hey, where do I put the handkerchief,
huh?

In my back pocket. Didn't you hear
anything that I told you?

Gilligan, you're free.

The mango juice.

Your hand must have slipped past the
nut.

Get me out of here, quickly.

Not up my nose.

Get me out of here.

Oh, no.

They sealed off the entrance to the cave
with a boulder. I bet that robot did it.

He's real sneaky.

Help me shove this thing out of the way.

And he's real strong, too.

It's obvious it's not going to budge.
Maybe if I get a better grip, it'd help.

Couldn't hurt.

All right, Gilligan.

On the count of three now.

One, two, three.

It's beginning to work, little buddy.

Of course it is, Skipper.

That's because you're pushing it on
fully.

That's right, Gilligan.

That makes sense.

There's another opening behind the bush.

Come on, Skipper. Keep pushing.

I think the rock's starting to move.

Okay, you ready?

On the count of three.

One, two, three.

Kill again.

There is no need to move the boulder if
we're both outside.

Good thinking. I don't know what I'd do
without you. Oh, I do, but it's just too

wonderful to think about. Now, come on.
You've got to go warn the professor, and

I've got to warn the howls. Right. I
warn the howls, you warn the professor.

No, no. I warn the professor, you warn
the howls. Right? Right.

About what?

About losing the island, signing the
deed, controlling the world.

Oh, yeah, that.

But come on.

Oh, yes, indeed. It is truly wonderful,
beautiful.

A botanical wonder.

So primitive, so wild.

It's a little too wild in places.

Now, careful of the quicksand. Oh, thank
you, Professor.

It is a perfect place, however, for you
to grow your island mushrooms. You know,

Professor, it is a shame, a disgrace
even, that your experiments have not

brought you greater fame.

In my case, fame is practically
non-existent.

Madame Curie discovered radium.

Einstein had his theory of relativity.

My major claim to fame has been 18 years
as technical advisor to the skipper and

Gilligan. You are a modest man,
professor.

And I love a man that is tall, dark, and
modest.

Me? Yes, of course, you professor.

Who else am I talking to? There comes a
time for the end of modesty, when a man

should assert himself.

That is why I'm proposing you for the
Pearson Prize for Distinguished Island

Research. The Pearson Prize?

Donated by J.J. Pearson himself.

You get $500,000.

You get your own private laboratory.

You get lifetime subscription to
Scientific American.

All you have to do is sign.

I have the application right here.

Hold everything!

Hope I'm not too late.

Listen, professor, I gotta tell you
something.

Tell me what?

Gilligan, don't you understand? You are
interrupting a private conversation.

Go play in the jungle.

It's very important.

What is it, then?

You can talk to the professor as soon as
he signs this application.

Oh, no, that's what I want to talk to
you about. In a minute, Gilligan.

Do you have a pen?

But of course.

Oh, no, you don't.

Gilligan, I don't know what's gotten
into you. You're acting rude and

disrespectful.

You will make the professor late for the
filing date of the Pearson Prize.

Now, not another word, Gilligan. Not
until we're through discussing this

application. Now, go on over there and
be quiet, and I mean it.

Good news, Professor.

I have another pen.

Professor?

We are not listening. We are signing.

Professor, one little word?

In a minute, Gilligan.

This is one of the proudest moments of
my life.

Yes, in mine, too.

One word.

Now I will take this to J.J. Pearson to
process.

An itsy-bitsy word?

When can I expect to hear?

Don't call us. We'll call you.

One word.

Yes, Gilligan, what is it?

Lucinda, I've got to talk to Mrs. Howell
and her son right away.

Why, certainly, Mr. Skipper. The Howells
will be at hut between, uh, 2.30 and 4.

I'd be happy to give you an appointment.

But you don't seem to understand. This
is a matter of life or death.

Oh, merciful magnolias. That's what
everybody says. It's always life or

death. What?

Lucinda, for goodness sakes, what is
going on out here?

The Skipper is trying to save your
lives.

Oh. Without an appointment?

I told him.

But you don't... You don't seem to
understand.

I hope we're not too late. I would have
been here sooner, but I had to save

Gilligan's life.

I was in quicksand up to here, and here,
and here, and here.

Oh, how perfectly awful.

Those wrinkles will never come out.

We've got to stop that lying J.J.
Pearson.

He tricked us out of our shares of the
island.

He got me tipsy on champagne.

You see, mummy, I told you that J.J.
Pearson cannot be trusted.

The man gives honest deceit a bad name.

We've got to do something.

Excuse

me,

but everybody here who is not a Howell?

is going to have to leave.

I'm sorry, but none of y'all have an
appointment.

I'd like a word with you, Junior.

Now, just a minute. You can't just barge
in and talk to Mr. Howell like this.

Oh, yes, they can.

They have an appointment.

Mr. Pearson?

Dr. Smetana?

All right, let's get to the bottom line,
Junior.

Through trickery and deceit, I've
managed to obtain every share of this

island with the exception of yours,
which I intend to get now.

Smetana, don't tell me you're a part of
this dastardly scheme.

Even famous scientist has to eat.

Thank you, Junior.

Give up?

I am prepared to buy back.

All the shares of the island that you
swindled from my friends.

Thank you.

And now, Mummy and I will negotiate with
Mr. Pearson.

If you don't mind.

Keep an eye on them.

Come on, Gilligan.

I'm willing to offer you a sporting
proposition. As you know, I'm a sporting

man. A sporting man?

You are a treacherous, conniving,
unprincipled, perfidious scoundrel.

But charming.

Mummy.

All right.

All right. What is this sporting
proposition you're talking about?

A basketball game.

Between my new invincibles and your
guests here on the island, the Howland

Globetrotters.

For ownership of the island.

Exactly.

Who have they beaten?

Nobody. You see, they've never played
professionally before.

Well, Junior, take it or leave it.

It's your last chance to get back the
island.

And a very big opportunity for the Howls
to win a bet from me.

After all these years.

Unless you're chicken.

Chicken?

A howl is never chicken.

Pheasant under glass, perhaps, but never
chicken.

Right then.

It's a bet.

Be

certain

to monitor the thermal sensors. They are
crucial.

You've done a wonderful job, Olga.

Wonderful. Thank you, J.J.

I'm so happy, even thrilled, that my
talents have not escaped your attention.

None of your talents have escaped my
attention, my dear. None of them.

Morning.

Morning. Morning.

Pardon.

Just out for my morning stroll, you
know, nothing like a breath of island

air to fill the hollow lungs.

You are of a spying mission, pure and
simple.

You've come to sneak a look at the new
Invincibles, admit it.

Well, it's a free island.

At least it will be after the game.

You really think so, eh?

New Invincibles to the practice court,
please.

Well, that fancy intercom will not help
your team much against the Trotters.

If it were only an intercom, perhaps.

But this device is quite literally the
brains of the team.

Another handicap?

Invincibles are brainless?

That's ridiculous.

All human beings have brains.

Even Democrats.

I never promised you human beings, my
friend. I only promised you the new

invincibles.

Hello again, everybody. This is Chick
Hearn welcoming you to a special edition

of UTV Sports View. And we're coming to
you live via satellite from a remote

Pacific island.

In a few moments, you're going to see
the most unusual event in the entire

history of sports, we think. The Harlem
Globetrotters.

coached by Dewey Stevens, against the
New Invincibles. And the New Invincibles

are robots.

Yep, you heard right, robots. And this
is going to be the basketball game of

the century. We understand that this
game is, well, it came about as a sort

of a gentleman's bet between Mr.

J.J. Pearson and Thurston Howell IV, one
of the co-owners of this magnificent

island. And since these two men are
considered among the world's richest

individuals, you can imagine what the
stakes must be. And I'm sure that...

Either man can afford to lose, but from
the intensity on the faces that we see

around here, I'd have to think that they
were playing for the planet Earth.

He doesn't know just how right he is.

Mr.

Pearson. Oh, yes.

Could I have a word with you? Oh, I'm
always happy to speak to members of the

press, yes. Thank you. Do you think this
game is fair? After all, robots aren't

people. Well, discrimination against
anyone.

Into the camera.

Discrimination against anyone, man or
machine, should not be tolerated.

Well, there you have it, ladies and
gentlemen.

Someday, your toaster may grow up to be
president.

Where's the professor?

I'll go get him.

Mummy, I've never seen you look more
radiant or...

Well, I see that the cheerleaders for
the Harlem Globetrotters are with us

now, so let's pick up the action along
the sidelines.

Give me a G!

G!

Give me an L!

L! Give me an O!

O!

See what I mean?

We'll get back to those cheerleaders in
just a little bit. Now let's go down to

the other end of the floor and take a
look at the new Invincibles warming up.

Right now, the Globetrotters are
huddling along the sideline.

And there on your screen is the
mastermind. That's Coach Dewey Stevens

giving his club some last-minute points
about the game plan.

Dewey's a real pro. He's a veteran and a
good student of the game of basketball,

and I'm sure that he's worked out a
brilliant strategy.

What am I gonna do?

What are you gonna do? Man, what are we
gonna do? We're the ones who gotta go

out there and get our butts kicked.

Hey, let's be reasonable. They've got to
have a weakness.

Yeah, corrosion.

Even if they're robots, they're just a
team, and we've played all kinds of

teams. Yeah, but we never paid a team
that had a mechanic instead of a

trainer. Hey, get you right.

Maybe they are big.

And maybe they are ugly.

And maybe they can't play at all.

Well, that's the end of that series.

We've got to go out and do our best.

Forget all this fantasy stuff and play
some hard, straight-up basketball.

Can you dig it?

All right, let's do it. All right.

Hey, Professor, come on. You're going to
miss the big game. I can't go, Gilligan.

But the tickets are free.

It's not that.

I saw the layup drill by the robots, and
I'm afraid the Globetrotters have a very

difficult game coming up.

So I came back here to study these
diagrams of computer layouts of various

robots. From the book, Computer Layouts
of Various Robots, by Dr. Olga Shmetna.

Can't you do that after the game?

Oh, by then it'll be too late.

I've got to find out the basic
principles that make robots tick.

They also go... Gilligan, by examining
these diagrams of the transistors and

circuitry, perhaps I can find a clue to
the robots' weaknesses.

I must find out if they have an Achilles
heel.

Oh, that's going to be pretty hard to
do, Professor.

You see, they're wearing those big, ugly
sneakers.

We got the T-E-A-M that's on the B

-E-A-M. We got the team that's on the B
that's really super, really keen.

Come on, people.

Beat the machine.

Now time to meet our two teams.

It's going to be a great game. First of
all, let's meet the Harlem

Globetrotters.

Geese Osby.

Sweet Lou Dunbar.

The great dribbler, Curly Neal.

Nate Branch.

Robert Page.

Twiggy Sanders.

Thomas Thornton and Jimmy Blacklock.

The coach of the Trotters is Dewey
Stephens.

And now the challengers, the new
invincibles.

Coach of the New Invincibles, Mr. J.J.
Pearson.

Fans, you probably know the Trotters
have never played a home court game, but

they might have the home court advantage
because the New Invincibles have only

one rooter, and he's probably a
relative.

clubs are lined up the referee is ready
and here is our center jump

the new

invincibles tip the ball long and
driving for the basket the new

invincibles they put it up and they got
a hoop

and

the score is 2-0 as the Invincibles draw
first blood. That play took exactly two

seconds.

Trotter's ball out of bounds. Baseline
backcourt.

Dallas Thornton to Curly Neal.

Intercepted. Wow are those Invincibles.
Quick and it's 4-0.

Thornton brings the ball in again. This
time intercepted by number two and he

gets a hoop. It's 6-0 in a matter of
opening seconds.

Captain? This teaches me a valuable
lesson. I'll never take another bet as

long as I live.

Are you sure?

You want to bet?

The Trotters will try it again. It's
into Curly Neal. He starts his dribble

drive. He's coming up the floor, and
he's deliberate.

The new Invincibles have a super passing
game, and they usually wind up with a

very high percentage shot. And usually,
it's right in the hole.

Basket for the new Invincibles. Number
three! Number three!

Nate Branch passing that ball to Robert
Page.

Page has the ball stolen. Another basket
for the new Invincibles. Ten to one is

the score.

I'll come behind number two, Geese.
Curly Neal now.

Give the ball off to Geese.

Geese looking inside. Nothing there.
Look at those arms flap. If he gets a

strong wind, he'll take off.

Can't see it, man. Now Geese just
holding that ball.

see curly back there he says so geese
puts it up

double

charge

two shots two shots one for each foul
charging against the trotters and under

the rules of the islands they're each
going to shoot a free throw the first

one from fifth

That makes it 13 to 1.

The trotter's really getting pummeled
here. The next one's good, and it's 14

to 1.

They're up and down this court faster
than you can turn your head.

Found you, 32!

You're into him! Two shots!

Hey, but I was pushed, man. No!

I saw your two shots. Are you blind?

Charging against the Trotters, and I'll
tell you, every facet of the basketball

game offensively is going right down to
the new Invincibles. They have run that

score up to 91-1.

The first one's good.

And so is the second. The robots have
not missed a free throw in this

ballgame, and that makes the score 93-1.

Ladies and gentlemen, just 15 seconds
left in this first half.

East Osby brings the ball down the floor
for the Trotters. He looks inside, and

he sees...

Well, some kind of a zone defense.

I'm going to put a label on it. It's a
deep freeze because they're frozen in

their tracks. He's got them mesmerized.
Look at Geese. He can't believe they're

standing still. First time he's seen
them flat footed. He scores.

And finally, the Trotters winning
section has something to cheer about.

Why did you do that?

Oh, I don't know. I just had a moment of
heart.

You might give them confidence.

Oh, yeah?

Watch this.

It's halftime, ladies and gentlemen, and
just about as disastrous and lopsided a

contest as I've ever seen in my life.
But as they say, it's not over until the

final buzzer.

And if I know Dewey Stevens, he's
working out a strategy right now that'll

turn things around in the second half of
this game dramatically.

We're finished!

We are through.

Say, coach, that's some pep talk. Say
something good.

Those are lean dudes out there. They're
built like trash cans, but they move

like jets.

Next half, let's get out there and
fight. That's right. Yeah, we got to

take it to them. Hey, we can't let up.
That's easy for you guys to say. You

foul out.

Okay,

our zone defense ain't working at all.

Maybe we ought to go out there and play
a man-to-man.

How can we play on man-to-man when there
ain't?

And the robots?

Excuse the pun, but they're getting all
charged up for the second half.

Spencer!

What is it, Gilligan? It's halftime,
Professor.

Well, I'm still trying to understand
some of the intricate circuitry in the

robots. If I can determine the
programming techniques, perhaps I can

show the Trotters how to circumvent the
electronic input.

Well, it sounds good to me, Professor.

I don't know what it means, but it
sounds good to me.

By the way, what's the score of the
game?

Robots, 95.

Trotters, 3.

Oh, dear, that doesn't sound promising.

It does if you're a robot.

There must be a way to beat them. The
Trotters can't keep up. Those robots

aren't human.

The problem is, these...

Robots have an extremely sophisticated
memory system, and they must have been

programmed with every known basketball
offense and defense.

You're right, Professor, and the
Trotters have tried them all. The only

thing they haven't tried is those funny
tricks and weird plays.

Eureka, Gilligan, I know exactly what
you mean. Come on! What I mean! What I

mean!

That's what I mean!

You can't play normal basketball against
them.

They can only do what they've been
programmed to do. They can't think.

Therefore, use the element of surprise.

If the situation calls for going
forward, go backwards.

If it calls for a pass, hide the ball.

If it calls for a jump, fall down.

Use your incredible magic and wizardry.
I mean, you're the Harlem Globetrotters.

Go out there and do what you can do
better than anybody in the world.

Now you heard the professor.

We're going to go out there and win.

We're going to play like we know how to
play.

We're going to show them some jazz,
pizzazz, and razzmatazz.

Now who are we?

Globetrotters. I didn't hear you.

Globetrotters.

the new Invincibles 95, the
Globetrotters 3. And remember, the

Globetrotters have fouled three men out,
so they've got only five players

eligible for the second half. Here is
Twiggy Sanders faking a face, stealing

the tip.

the new invincibles have

never seen anything like this before
they just don't know what to do

up his sixth foul and he's out of the
ball game. And look at Twiggy. Twiggy's

all over that referee.

Chargers, you're black.

And stupid.

Technical. Oh, no.

And ugly.

And round.

And Twiggy has been kicked out of the
ball game. And all of it happens just

when the Globetrotters seemed about to
catch up.

But it looks like they've fallen just a
little bit short.

Goodbye, Ireland.

It looks hopeless, Gilligan.

Skipper, those guys did us a favor. It's
up to us to do them a favor.

What do you mean? We're going to play
with the Globetrotters.

Oh, you call that a favor? Well, it's
better than nothing. Come on, come on.

The Globetrotters have only three
players left, but Dewey Stevens, their

cool and unemotional coach, you'll come
up with something.

The Trotters are a hit by one, but the
robots have never missed a free throw.

Coach, coach, put the two of us in.

Two of who? Us, us.

Maybe I should.

Things couldn't get any worse.

Well, the trotter coach, the sly one,
Dewey Stevens, has reached into his bag

of tricks again, Neil.

And he has, well, he's got not just one,
but he's got two substitutes. Now, they

don't look much like basketball players,
but looks can be deceiving.

Now, we've got just 20 seconds left to
play in the ballgame, and it's all going

to be decided right here and right now.

Hey, Skipper, what did they just spell?

It was Gilligan.

Ah, two Wills. And the Harlem
Globetrotters leading for the first time

in the ballgame, 99-98. These people in
the stands are going absolutely wild. I

don't blame them. Here's the technical.
That could tie it.

It's good. We're tied at 99.

And now on Jimmy Blacklock, six personal
fouls. Here's another free throw.

That is good. And once again, the
Invincibles are in front, 100 to 99.

And now the Trotters have Gilligan in
for Blacklock and the skipper in for

Twiggy. They might have lost, though,
their last opportunity. The Invincibles

still ahead by one point.

And unless the Globetrotters can score
in these last few seconds, it's all

over. Referee Bruce Biggs takes a close
look at the clock. They give the ball to

Gilligan. And look at this.

Basketball's flying wedge.

Gilligan with the ball. Having trouble
controlling it. But he's still behind

that three-man wall.

Gilligan yo-yoing up and down. Loses it
on a high bounce. Curly Neal saves the

ball. And immediately, the robots put on
a five-man press. Beautiful defense.

And where is Curly going to go with that
ball?

seemingly nowhere.

They've got to get a basket. Time has
taken away.

The Globetrotters on the verge of a
defeat, and their fans still yelling,

here's a rolling pass.

They get it to Gilligan, and Gilligan
seems to be absolutely transfixed. He

looks up at that hoop and says, I cannot
do it. He won't shoot it despite the

urging of his teammates and despite the
urging of the crowd.

And the referee, Bruce Bakes, takes
another close look. We're down to the

final seconds. What are they going to do
with Gilligan?

One, two, three.

Junior, you're so naive.

Naive? Yes. While this game was
diverting your attention, I took the

liberty of removing all the supremium
from your island and storing it on my

yacht.

Now, George.

That's tons of supremium. All the
supremium in the world, removed by some

excellent stevedore robots designed by
Dr. Smetana.

Oh, it was nothing.

She's quite a scientist, you know.

And if you'll excuse us, gentlemen,
we'll be off. And soon, the entire world

will be under my domination.

Dr. Smetana, I'm surprised.

Of course you are surprised.

At what are you surprised?

Surely you must realize that Supremium
is extremely unstable, particularly when

stored in large quantities above 76
degrees.

Do you have any idea what could happen
in the hold of that ship?

Tell me what could happen.

Could happen.

Junior, look who's here. Just in time to
see you win your bet.

Daddy!

Junior, congratulations, my boy.
Couldn't have done it better myself.

Well, maybe just a little better.

Owl victory is a howl victory.

I couldn't have said it any better
myself, by George.

Oh, Froot, you are so good to see you,
Boobie. Yeah.

Lovie, I'd like a word with our guest.

There you go.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Ladies
and gentlemen, your attention, please.

I would like to thank the Globetrotters
on behalf of all of us for saving our

island.

Diminish your hubbub.

Diminish your hubbub.

And to show our gratitude, you're
invited to stay here free.

Off-season, of course.

And now back to the hotel for a victory
celebration.

And all the drinks are on the... Dancing
in the lounge. Don't you ever do that,

guys.

Johnny, let's go unpack your bank books.

Oh, yes. Capital idea.

See you later, son. Ta-ta, daddy.

Ladies and gentlemen, I got to get up
here. I got to get a word with Gilligan.

I got to fight through this crowd.

The world is waiting to find out.

Gilligan, how did you ever accomplish
that shot? I know the Globetrotters can

do anything but the first full-body slam
dunk in history. How'd you do it?

Practice.

Come on, everybody.

Three cheers for the Globetrotters.
Ladies and gentlemen.

To come back each week to get away from
it all. To get away from it all.

Where Gilligan, the stiffer two, the
Howells, and the rest will try to make

you comfortable.