Original subtitles

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that

started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship. The weather started

getting rough. The tiny ship was lost.

If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the middle would be lost.

The middle would be lost.

The ship's aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle, where they were

rescued one fine day, but it took a long, long while.

It took a long, long while.

The Howells built a hotel here to commemorate their stay with Gilligan,

the skipper crew,

the millionaire and his wife,

the movie star.

The Professor and Marianne, here on Killikens Live!

Skipper?

Skipper?

Skipper, are you sleeping?

Yes, Gilligan, I'm sleeping.

That's too bad. I had some important news to tell you.

What was it?

Well, there's no sense in telling you if you're sleeping, you wouldn't even hear

it.

Gilligan, I'm wide awake now. What is the important news?

I just remembered where I left my comic book.

Oh, that's important.

Go to sleep Gilligan first. I have to get my comic book

that new tune.

I'm scared.

My head's sticking straight up.

And so is mine.

Go in the cockpit and see what's happening, man.

Dewey is a good coach and a good parlor.

Right now, I wish he was a coach instead of a parlor.

You're in the middle of a city ocean. I can't even swim.

Stand by Jaws 1 and Jaws 2 and get ready Jaws 3.

Keep calm.

This is no time to panic. It may be our only time, man.

I just saw Dewey. I got some good news and some bad news.

Well, what's the good news?

The good news is Dewey's fixing the engine. There's no problem.

Well, what's the bad news?

Well, the bad news is I just made up the good news.

Something's wrong with the electrical system.

He can't even radio for help.

Ben?

Ben? What's happening?

Hey, Dewey, can you fix it?

But I did put it on automatic pilot.

And I want you fellas to know that I'm doing everything I can.

How's our chances?

Well, I took advantage of the tailwind.

I tried heading due north.

I tried heading due west.

Which way are we heading now?

Due down.

Heading due down, we're going to get due west. I knew we should have taken the

train. Nah, be cool, fellas. Everything's going to be all right

because I found a tiny little island on the map.

And that's where we're heading.

And if we can make it there, I can land the plane.

What if we can't reach it? Yeah, what if we can't make it? Yeah, that's right.

Slam dunk!

We are anchored here, out of sight of these individual

huts which constitute the Castaway's Hotel.

Repeat the last seven words, please.

Individual thoughts which constitute the Castaway's Hotel.

Very good, George.

And my old adversary, Thurston Howell III and his family, commemorated the

years they were shipwrecked by keeping the hotel primitive.

No cars, no electricity, no phones.

It's very difficult to contact the outside world, which makes it a perfect

place for our secret plans.

George, there's no need to repeat my laugh.

where was i oh yes yes last year when i stayed at the castaway hotel i

accidentally stumbled into this cave located here and in that cave i made the

greatest discovery of this entire century a brand new element i call

supremium i am not familiar with that word supremium is a perfect

source of energy but in order to take control of it i must get rid of the

seven castaways that will take

I wouldn't have it any other way, George.

George!

I have good news, JJ.

Tell me, Olga.

You have given the supremium the final test.

That is the good news.

In spite of this intense glow, there is no heat, no radiation.

Supremium is energy in its purest form.

Mala. of light.

There is enough energy in this one rock to heat the entire state of Idaho for

two weeks in the wintertime.

Who cares? Idaho is small potatoes.

What about weapons, bombs, warheads, missiles, supremely atomic power?

Whoever controls this new energy source controls the world.

Ten times more powerful than any other known source of energy.

And soon it will be mine.

All mine.

The other people on this island, do they know about Supremium? Absolutely not.

I wandered into that cave by accident.

I'm the only living soul that knows about this phenomenon.

You almost scared me out of my wits.

How can you be scared out of something you don't have?

Turn off that lamp and go to sleep.

That's not a lamp, Skipper. That's a funny rock I found in the cave.

Then turn off the funny rock and go to sleep. We've got to get up early in the

morning.

That's better.

Now go to sleep.

Good night, Skipper.

Skipper?

Good night, Gilligan.

Thank you

What's the matter now?

There's a great big hairy spider on my chest.

Come on, Gilligan, you're just having another one of your bad dreams.

Oh, what a relief.

For a minute there, I thought you were real. Bye.

Gilligan, I see a real hairy spider.

Hey, don't worry, Skipper, it's just a bad dream.

what are you doing out there get in here

where is he

what's all the noise about i had a bad

dream about a big ugly spider and skipper had the same dream it wasn't a

bad dream professor the spider's right there good grief That's a Lycosa

centralia. I thought it was a spider. It is a spider, Gilligan. It's a

particularly venomous species of tarantula, and its bite is deadly.

There's something very puzzling about this.

I must examine this species a little more carefully.

Why don't you gentlemen get those two fishing poles over there and steer

toward this jar?

Is this one of the poles?

Here, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. Here, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. Come on,

Spidey. Come on, Spidey. Get in there. There. There he goes. Right in the jar.

All right, Gilligan, quick. Get something to cover the jar.

It's the most terrible thing I've ever heard. Imagine putting a deadly spider

into somebody's hut.

Yeah, that really is terrible.

It's so big and it's so hairy.

It must be a male spider.

How do you girls know about a big hairy spider?

What do you mean how we know?

We captured one in our hut.

We put it in this jar.

Did you ever see anything so ugly?

Yeah, the one we caught. It's a lot more horrible than that one. I mean, this one

we got has got beady eyes and long black legs and fangs and they're going... Come

on. Here.

This one is ours.

Well, it looks just like ours.

Maybe they're brothers, huh?

Well... at least cousins yes another lycosa centralia a species never found

in this part of the world now we found them no food

no water no baggage no nothing just ain't basketball that's our thing

man yeah if we were beggars we'll say bread we were scared we say snow if we

was a bunch of forget it what good are eight basketballs gonna do in the middle

of this ocean.

How come I get stuck with all the dumb jobs around here? Like picking mangoes

and polishing brass and carrying suitcases. Did Mr. Howell make me a

partner in this place like the rest of you? Of course he did, Gilligan. He made

us all limited partners.

Only you're a little more limited than the rest of us.

What's a limited partner?

Gilligan, any five-year-old kid knows what a limited partner is.

What is it?

I don't know. I'm not a five-year-old kid.

Now get moving!

We were going to the beach, but we're not sure about the weather. Yeah, if

it's going to be cloudy, we have to put some warmer clothes on.

Oh, no, don't do that.

I mean, it'll be nice and sunny and beautiful, even if I have to push the

clouds away myself personally.

But I tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check the latest weather report.

Thanks, Skipper. Bye.

He's cute.

way to start our world tour. We lost our plane, we lost our equipment, and we

lost our uniforms.

We lost everything except the most important thing of all, our lives. Yeah,

that's right.

That's thinking positive.

Now look, fellas, you can't make any parts by sitting around.

So we got to build a fire, we got to make shelter, dry our clothes, and get

some coconuts and dates for food, and be ready in a half an hour.

Ready for what? For our first practice.

practice that's right see because when we get rescued we can be ready for the

tour so on the double let's go what if there are wild animals or

cannibals in there oh not on these tiny little islands we're thousands of miles

from any kind of intelligent life

Oh, Junior, I'm so glad you were able to be here to help run the island in your

daddy's absence.

Well, actually, I was very busy, Mummy.

I didn't know whether to come to the island or simply send for it.

Oh, you dear boy.

You've got your daddy's sense of humor.

Yeah, well...

Among other things.

Come in.

Hi, Lucinda. Why, Mr.

Skipper, this is a surprise.

I don't believe you have an appointment with Mrs. Howell. I know.

Or with Thurston Howell IV.

I know. I just wanted to check the weather report on their private

television set. Oh, well, I'm real sorry.

Honest to lilacs, I am, but...

I don't believe you have a viewing appointment either.

Good gracious, what's all the chattering about?

Well, I wanted to look at your TV for a few minutes. Why?

I wanted to check the weather report.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Captain, but it's almost time for the financial report.

But the weather report is important.

Well, now, Captain, in your humble opinion, and any opinion that isn't a

whole opinion is humble indeed, what is more important?

The weather report or the financial report?

Oh, Junior, I know the answer to that.

The financial report, of course. It's always sunny if you've got money.

Oh, I made a wrong.

Touché, Mommy.

Mr. Howell, please, the weather news will be over by the time your program

comes on.

Oh. Well, all right, let's turn on the telly. Lucinda?

Mr. Skipper?

Teddy, you sit right here.

And I lift this up and I push this button first.

Goodbye, George. And here's Johnny.

And now the latest on the disappearance of the plane carrying the Harlem

Globetrotters. Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. Good heavens.

How perfectly awful.

Who are the Harlem Globetrotters?

The Harlem Globetrotters are the greatest team in the history of the

sport. And it would be tragic if anything happened to them.

Tonight, it's fear that those great international ambassadors of goodwill

are lost somewhere in the Pacific.

But she really knocks him down. Shop it is Donald now.

Cinderfellas, yeah. We can get a cinderfella fat. But she can't get till

she got a name. And she got a name from sweet Georgia, Georgia Brown. Yeah.

Hey, tell her.

Shh.

What's that?

Here's an update on the Harlem Globetrotters story.

There is still no sign of their plane, but the search continues.

Authorities suspect some sort of electrical malfunction because of the

sudden break in radio communications.

In any event, it's hard to believe that they could be lost without a trace, but

thus far... Lucinda, I just saw the most amazing thing on the other side of the

island. Hush, Gilligan, we're viewing this special program about the Harlem

Globetrotters. Yeah, but you don't... Professor... Not now, Gilligan.

Just look at those globetrotters, the angles and trajectories they achieve.

I just saw some guys that can do that with coconuts. Listen, I... Ginger, I

just saw some guys that are bigger than those guys.

I always wanted to be a cheerleader.

But whenever I shook my pom-poms, nobody watched the game.

Mary Ann, you'll believe it, I just saw... What's the matter, Mary Ann?

Oh, Gilligan, when I was a little girl... Oh, come on, Mary Ann, don't

cry. Everybody was a little girl, unless they were a little boy. Oh, you don't

understand. When I was a little girl, my daddy used to take me to see the

Globetrotters. And now my whole childhood is just flashing in front of

my eyes.

Yeah, but Mary Ann... Oh, shh!

A smile is more effective than a fist. What a team.

I bet a million dollars there isn't anyone that they couldn't beat. Would

you believe if I told you I just saw a bunch of guys who can play basketball as

good as those guys?

I believe you, Gilligan.

Why didn't you tell it to me?

Skipper, guess what I saw on the other side of the island?

Not now, Gilligan.

Did you ever see a team like those Globetrotters before?

Yeah, on the other side of the island.

Listen, Skipper, I... Skipper, I've been thinking.

Those Harlem Globetrotters were lost on the plane around here, and those guys

look exactly like these guys, and these guys look exactly like those guys. Maybe

those guys are these guys, and these guys are those guys.

Why haven't you told this to someone before?

Well, I tried, Skipper, I tried.

have isolated the ferric supremium from the silicate formations and distilled

the residue by liquefaction.

Simple English, please.

I have squeezed the rock and made supremium juice.

And is the power as remarkable as you'd hoped?

We are looking at pure supremium.

There is enough power in one drop of pure supremium to cool the city of Miami

for the entire month of July.

I talk of world conquest, and she talks about air conditioning.

I have something to show you, JJ.

With one drop of pure supremium.

Very interesting.

But that's just a little toy. I'd like to see a... A bigger demonstration.

You want something bigger?

Let me see.

My, George, you've got it.

No, no, not me. What?

It's all in the interest of science, my friend.

Lower, lower, sweet little honey.

What publicity for the hotel.

Daddy will be so proud. We'll pack guests in here like goldfish.

Don't you mean sardines, Mr. Howell?

No, no, I mean goldfish.

24 karat, of course.

Mommy, where have you been?

Oh, I was changing, Junior.

Yes, and I have been personally supervising all the decorations.

That's almost like physical labor.

I'm sorry, dear, but one has to change, you know. One can't wear just anything

to a... Exactly what is it we are celebrating?

The glorious discovery of the globetrotters.

Well, bless my begonias, here they come now!

Quiet, everyone!

Your speech, Mr. Howell. Oh, thank you. I am Thurston Howell IV, your

genial and warm-hearted host, and the apple of my father's eye.

On behalf of this small island, I welcome the large...

is eagerly awaiting word of your rescue.

And to show how grateful we are that you have survived the ordeal, while at the

Castaways Hotel, you will be our honored guests.

There will be no charge.

Who wrote the speech?

I did, Mr. Hale.

Gentlemen,

we will notify the outside world at once.

Meanwhile, as long as you're at this hotel, feel... free to... Lucinda, your

vocabulary.

In conclusion, gentlemen, enjoy yourselves.

You have the run of the place.

Or the dribble of the place, if you prefer.

A little basketball joke there.

Two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

One, two, one, two, one, two.

One, one, one, one, one, one.

And stretch.

Oh, very good, ladies. Very good.

See you tomorrow morning. Thanks.

Bye.

Marianne, I've got a great new dance step to show you.

It's called the salt and pepper.

Ah, great.

Show her the steps.

You just keep shaking until the music stops.

It's easy.

Great for slitting the hips.

Thank you.

you can imagine. What?

We could have been killed.

There I was, facing what could be certain death and an uncertain future.

Would this be my last moment? Had I drawn my last breath?

Could I depend on the arrival of Colonel Scott and the 12th Cavalry? Each moment

seemed an eternity.

And what about my child?

Would I ever see little Running Wolf again?

Only time would tell. And time was running out.

I ask you. I ask you.

Yes, yes, ask me what?

I don't know.

I can't remember my next line.

It was from a movie I was in, Feathers on the Frontier.

I think it was a western.

Marianne, do you know what she's talking about?

Yes, we were in the gym hut and the whole wall fell in on us. We could have

been killed.

But it's impossible for that wall to fall down. It's made of the sturdiest

bamboo and the strongest pegs.

George to Mr. Pearson.

George to Mr. Pearson, come in.

George to Mr. Pearson, come in.

Pearson here.

Let's have the report on plan A, George.

Trickery and deceit does not seem to be working.

I'll be the judge of that, George.

The tarantulas did not frighten the castaways off the island.

Neither did the collapsing walls, nor did the dying plants.

And the only thing I have left is... I've heard enough, George.

Do not get mad at me, Mr. Pearson.

It was your plan.

I am just four stupid robots doing what you programmed me to do.

I've got to get rid of those castaways.

So the Supremium will be mine, all mine. But how?

How?

Relax, J.J. How can I relax?

I've got to get control of that island.

You will think of some mean and rotten plan. You always do.

It's true.

I win because I always win.

Now, you do understand.

Of course.

First, we lift it.

When I say now, you go pull the rope.

You think I was dumb or something?

Or something.

Now, when I say heave, start lifting.

Right.

Are you ready? In a second.

Ready Where

are your feet

in my sneakers? That's where I always keep them

Let's

try it again

Ready? All right.

Gilligan, now!

Now what?

The rope! Go pull the rope!

This part is easy.

I want you to start walking, and when I yell stop, I want you to stop.

Gotcha. And remember, stop dead in your tracks, not another step.

I'll put the pegs in myself.

You can trust me.

Excuse me, I seem to be lost. How do I find the beach?

Oh, it's right back to that one.

Take good care of these people now.

Mr. Howell. No, no, no, please. No more problems. I am exhausted.

I've been charming all morning.

No problem, sir. You will be happy to hear a good friend of your father's has

just arrived.

Oh. One of the Astors, no doubt.

No, sir.

Vanderbilt, perhaps?

No, sir.

At least a Rockefeller.

Mr. J.J. Pearson, sir.

Who?

J.J. Pearson?

Oh, no.

Not him. He's Daddy's worst enemy.

Mummy?

Mommy, where are you? And I need you!

Mommy!

Mommy?

Mommy's here, Junior.

What's wrong?

You will never guess what's happened.

You're in such a dither.

You haven't even noticed my new outfit.

Oh, it's beautiful.

What's the occasion?

To greet J.J. Pearson.

You knew that that scoundrel was coming to the island?

Scoundrel? I always thought he was enchanting.

J.J. Pearson is a swine.

Oh, but he has a savoir-faire.

Just because he kisses your hand.

He's a snake!

Make up your mind, Junior. Is he a swine or is he a snake?

Both!

He's a Yale man.

I know why you hate him so. Because he always makes bets with you and your

father. And he always wins.

Lily! JJ!

You look younger every time I see you, my dear.

And more captivating.

Count the diamonds, mummy.

And you, Junior, you haven't changed a bit.

I know, and I've been insulted.

Junior!

Oh, allow me to introduce my colleague, the world-famous scientist, Dr. Olga

Smetana.

Charmed. Oh, very charmed indeed.

My pleasure.

Pardon me, Mr. Howell.

I have Gilligan waiting down at the dock for their luggage.

Alone?

You're right.

I'd better go down and check on him, make sure that he doesn't get lost.

Oh, Professor, so good to see you again.

Welcome back, Mr. Pearson. Thank you. I'm sure you know Dr. August Mettner.

Dr. Smetana, on our island.

I've always dreamed of meeting you.

You must be the professor.

Yes, I must be.

To meet a colleague of such esteem is the reason I came to this island. Oh,

you're too kind.

I have read your paper on the osmosis and the symbiosis of the Venus flight

map. Oh, that was nothing compared with your work on the interaction of kinetics

and energy.

I was wondering...

Would it be possible for me to examine your facilities?

I'd be delighted.

Please.

Well, Junior, I'll bet anything you're glad to see me.

Bet?

Did you say bet?

And did you say anything?

My poor baby will never learn.

It will give me great pleasure to take your money once again.

What say we make a small wager about time?

Yes. I'll bet $10,000 that it'll become dark as night within the next minute.

Within one minute? Why, it's only just past noon.

Well, come, come. Do we have a bet?

Yes, yes, it's a bet.

$10,000.

A little thing known as an eclipse, my boy.

That should keep you on your toes.

Of all the sneaky, underhanded tricks.

Cash will do nicely.

Never seen anything like you before.

I have never seen anything like you.

You sure do talk funny.

I talk as I am programmed.

Why do you talk as you do?

What? Because I'm Gilligan.

I am George.

Hi, George.

George!

Go, George!

Listen, I came here to help you with the luggage, okay?

I do not need help.

I can do anything.

Can you do this?

That is difficult.

I do not have ears.

Can you do this?

How did you do that?

I could teach you, but you would only do it one time.

I'll give you a hand with the bags anyway.

Dallas, open this for me.

Fellas, the people here at the hotel have treated us great.

Helped us lay out the practice court, get the equipment and uniforms.

Now, one of them asked if we would play the castaways team for the

championship of this hour.

Now, can anybody guess who issued that challenge?

You have another plan.

Exactly.

All I need is a pen, the deed to the island, and the Harlem Globetrotters to

have the entire world in the palm of my hand.

I want to be loved by you, just you, and nobody else

but you.

I wanna be loved by you alone I

wanna be kissed by you, just you

And nobody else but you I wanna be kissed by

you alone I couldn't aspire

I wanna be loved by you, just you, and nobody else but you.

I wanna be loved by you, alone.

I wanna be kissed by you, just you, and nobody else

but you.

I wanna be kissed...

I want to be loved by you, just you, and nobody else but you.

Do you believe in kismet? That depends.

I own one of the largest movie studios in Hollywood.

I believe in fate, destiny, and kismet.

Good. I'm about to film a musical version of Gone with the Wind to be

called simply... Marvelous title.

I've changed the locale from the deep south to a tropical island in the

Pacific.

Marvelous locale.

The last line of the film is...

Frankly, Tondoleo, I don't give a damn.

Marvelous last line.

Once I was searching for the perfect actress.

And now that I've heard you sing and dance, the search is over.

Sign here.

Gee, I don't know.

Why are you hesitating, my dear?

Well, it would mean leaving the island, my friends, the shipwreck room.

Just to make this one picture?

No sequel, no TV series, no videocassette?

Who knows?

Lucinda? Lucinda, I must talk to Mrs. Howell and her son.

Why, of course, Professor.

You do have an appointment, I presume.

No, but it is a matter of life and death.

A matter of life and death, and you don't even have an appointment?

For shame!

Lucinda, they are trying to kill us all.

Including the house?

Over my dead body?

How can one pose with all that racket?

I have got to talk to both of you.

What do you think?

Perfect likeness?

We're getting off the track. We have an emergency here.

Look.

Look at the scratches on these pegs from the wall of the gym hut. Some odd type

of wrench was used to pull them out.

And my plant's deliberately poisoned.

And look at Mr. Howell's teddy bear.

Daddy's teddy!

Daddy's teddy!

He should have taken it with him. A giant boulder was deliberately loosened

and rolled down a hill aimed directly at your lounge chairs. They were smashed to

smithereens. Oh, poor little thing.

Wall-to-wall teddy.

I was sitting in your chair. Imagine if you had been sitting there.

Assault and battery is one thing. Murder is another, but when you flatten a man's

teddy, you've gone too far.

Mrs. Howell, do you have any enemies?

Oh, yes, thousands.

And that's only the A-list.

I want you to write down the names of your enemies, especially those you

consider most suspicious, and I'll be back.

I'll be back. How about next Thursday at 11?

By 11, we could all be dead.

Well, in that case, perhaps I can squeeze you in at 10.

There you are.

Ooh, ooh, this skipper's gonna be sore.

Oh, Gilligan, why do you have to make so many mistakes?

Maybe one of your transistors is loose.

Who said that?

Me.

Hi, George.

Listen, people don't have transistors. They have brains.

Maybe that's why people make so many mistakes.

Sometimes I wish I was a robot, then I'd hardly never make a mistake.

Yes, it is really tariff.

Tariff.

Tariff.

Ick. Thank you, Gilligan. You're welcome, George.

You did me a favor. Now I will do you a favor.

Sign this, and you will get one million dollars.

One million dollars just for signing this? Two million.

Two million dollars?

Three million.

Hey, this is a deed to the island.

Four million.

I'm not selling out my planes for any reason.

Gold. That's no reason.

Diamond. That's no reason.

That's a reason.

But I'm going to tell all my friends what you made me do.

Another mistake again and again.

Well, my dear, supper will soon be ready.

That's all right.

I love this first course.

Oh, I'm sure you'll enjoy the rest of the meal.

Patty de foie gras, bacon duck, truffles. Do you like truffles?

Trifle.

Would you like some more champagne?

Just a truffle.

Do you ever wonder, my dear, what the future holds in store for you?

Oh, well, everybody wonders about that.

Don't you ever wonder what you're going to be when you grow up?

No. You see, I believe in psychic phenomena.

You know, they say the best way to tell someone's future is through their

handwriting.

Oh, what they won't think of next.

I'd love to read yours.

Yeah, what should I write?

How about a letter home?

Dear Mom, I'm in Mr. Pearson's yacht. Sign your name right there.

Very good.

Oh, you read Ginger's handwriting, too.

Could I have a little more champagne?

We're fresh out.

Actually, the catamaran is not as simple to operate as it looks.

You have to have a bit of knowledge of the tides.

Certainly, you have to have knowledge of the winds. And you must have a feeling

for the ocean itself.

Now, I'd be glad to share my experiences with you both personally.

Excuse me, Skipper.

Do you have a moment for me, please?

Certainly. Bon voyage, ladies.

Yes, Doctor.

Oh, please, you can call me Olga.

It is not for me, exactly. It is for Mr. Pearson.

You see, his new nuclear-powered ocean liner is almost complete, but he cannot

find a worthy captain.

Well, there must be someone around available like that.

He has already turned down Jacques Cousteau, Admiral Rickover, also Gregory

Peck. All good men. Oh, good, but not good enough.

Oh, no, he is looking for a man who is an ex... expert at seamanship, a born

leader, fearless, someone who can handle any emergency, perhaps having been

shipwrecked here.

Do you happen to know anyone like that?

There aren't too many of us.

I was thinking, if you and I could come up with just one name.

I think I have just the man.

Oh, good.

I want you to understand that no one has been able to steer the ship safely past

these obstacles.

Mr. Pearson, none of those men were worthy of the title captain.

John Skipper, it is remarkable.

He has scored 93 out of a possible 100 points.

That's nothing compared to what I went through with the minnow.

Sign the scorecard and make it official. It's my pleasure.

93, eh?

I should have had 100, but I really didn't expect that giant shark.

Admiral, you're the captain for me.

Oh, that's very nice, Mr. Pearson, but after all the troubles that I shared

with my friends, I really must think that over.

You're quite a guy. You don't mind if I show this to my little buddy Gilligan?

Good day, doctor.

But this is not the scorecard.

This is the deed to the island.

And signed by your own hand.

Which I shall immediately unsign.

George.

You don't think Mr. Nuts and Bolts here is going to be a match for me, do you?

Come on, George.

Come on.

I can't believe that I fell for a trick like that.

I was just plain dumb.

You sure were, Skipper.

Gilligan, I can call me dumb, but you can't call me dumb. Aye, aye, sir. But

it sure was nice to hear someone else call dumb for a change.

As soon as J.J. gets our signatures, the island will belong to him.

Yeah, well, J.J. Pearson didn't get my signature.

Oh, great.

George did.

It was scary, Skipper.

First he tried to bribe me, but that didn't work. And then he got very

violent.

Did he try to hit you?

No, not me, the palm tree. He cut it in half with one karate chop.

So I signed the paper right away.

I didn't want to be standing out there with all my sap running out.

Gilligan, you could never run out of sap.

This really would be terrible if J.J. Pearson owned this island, huh?

The only reason Pearson wants the island?

It's because he wants to own the whole world's supply of supremium.

What's that?

That stuff that's glowing on the walls.

Just to read comic books?

No, Gilligan, so he can control the world.

We've got to warn those others not to sign the deed.

Well, if he had a phone, we could call him.

If we could just get out of here, we could tell him personally.

Now, come on!

What is it now?

You just squashed the mango in my back pocket. Hey, Skipper, you got a

handkerchief? Of course I have a handkerchief in my back pocket.

For all the good that'll do you.

If you could reach my handkerchief in my back pocket, you could reach the knife

in my back pocket, and we could cut our way out of these ropes.

Hey, where do I put the handkerchief, huh?

In my back pocket. Didn't you hear anything that I told you?

Gilligan, you're free.

The mango juice.

Your hand must have slipped past the nut.

Get me out of here, quickly.

Not up my nose.

Get me out of here.

Oh, no.

They sealed off the entrance to the cave with a boulder. I bet that robot did it.

He's real sneaky.

Help me shove this thing out of the way.

And he's real strong, too.

It's obvious it's not going to budge. Maybe if I get a better grip, it'd help.

Couldn't hurt.

All right, Gilligan.

On the count of three now.

One, two, three.

It's beginning to work, little buddy.

Of course it is, Skipper.

That's because you're pushing it on fully.

That's right, Gilligan.

That makes sense.

There's another opening behind the bush.

Come on, Skipper. Keep pushing.

I think the rock's starting to move.

Okay, you ready?

On the count of three.

One, two, three.

Kill again.

There is no need to move the boulder if we're both outside.

Good thinking. I don't know what I'd do without you. Oh, I do, but it's just too

wonderful to think about. Now, come on. You've got to go warn the professor, and

I've got to warn the howls. Right. I warn the howls, you warn the professor.

No, no. I warn the professor, you warn the howls. Right? Right.

About what?

About losing the island, signing the deed, controlling the world.

Oh, yeah, that.

But come on.

Oh, yes, indeed. It is truly wonderful, beautiful.

A botanical wonder.

So primitive, so wild.

It's a little too wild in places.

Now, careful of the quicksand. Oh, thank you, Professor.

It is a perfect place, however, for you to grow your island mushrooms. You know,

Professor, it is a shame, a disgrace even, that your experiments have not

brought you greater fame.

In my case, fame is practically non-existent.

Madame Curie discovered radium.

Einstein had his theory of relativity.

My major claim to fame has been 18 years as technical advisor to the skipper and

Gilligan. You are a modest man, professor.

And I love a man that is tall, dark, and modest.

Me? Yes, of course, you professor.

Who else am I talking to? There comes a time for the end of modesty, when a man

should assert himself.

That is why I'm proposing you for the Pearson Prize for Distinguished Island

Research. The Pearson Prize?

Donated by J.J. Pearson himself.

You get $500,000.

You get your own private laboratory.

You get lifetime subscription to Scientific American.

All you have to do is sign.

I have the application right here.

Hold everything!

Hope I'm not too late.

Listen, professor, I gotta tell you something.

Tell me what?

Gilligan, don't you understand? You are interrupting a private conversation.

Go play in the jungle.

It's very important.

What is it, then?

You can talk to the professor as soon as he signs this application.

Oh, no, that's what I want to talk to you about. In a minute, Gilligan.

Do you have a pen?

But of course.

Oh, no, you don't.

Gilligan, I don't know what's gotten into you. You're acting rude and

disrespectful.

You will make the professor late for the filing date of the Pearson Prize.

Now, not another word, Gilligan. Not until we're through discussing this

application. Now, go on over there and be quiet, and I mean it.

Good news, Professor.

I have another pen.

Professor?

We are not listening. We are signing.

Professor, one little word?

In a minute, Gilligan.

This is one of the proudest moments of my life.

Yes, in mine, too.

One word.

Now I will take this to J.J. Pearson to process.

An itsy-bitsy word?

When can I expect to hear?

Don't call us. We'll call you.

One word.

Yes, Gilligan, what is it?

Lucinda, I've got to talk to Mrs. Howell and her son right away.

Why, certainly, Mr. Skipper. The Howells will be at hut between, uh, 2.30 and 4.

I'd be happy to give you an appointment.

But you don't seem to understand. This is a matter of life or death.

Oh, merciful magnolias. That's what everybody says. It's always life or

death. What?

Lucinda, for goodness sakes, what is going on out here?

The Skipper is trying to save your lives.

Oh. Without an appointment?

I told him.

But you don't... You don't seem to understand.

I hope we're not too late. I would have been here sooner, but I had to save

Gilligan's life.

I was in quicksand up to here, and here, and here, and here.

Oh, how perfectly awful.

Those wrinkles will never come out.

We've got to stop that lying J.J. Pearson.

He tricked us out of our shares of the island.

He got me tipsy on champagne.

You see, mummy, I told you that J.J. Pearson cannot be trusted.

The man gives honest deceit a bad name.

We've got to do something.

Excuse

me,

but everybody here who is not a Howell?

is going to have to leave.

I'm sorry, but none of y'all have an appointment.

I'd like a word with you, Junior.

Now, just a minute. You can't just barge in and talk to Mr. Howell like this.

Oh, yes, they can.

They have an appointment.

Mr. Pearson?

Dr. Smetana?

All right, let's get to the bottom line, Junior.

Through trickery and deceit, I've managed to obtain every share of this

island with the exception of yours, which I intend to get now.

Smetana, don't tell me you're a part of this dastardly scheme.

Even famous scientist has to eat.

Thank you, Junior.

Give up?

I am prepared to buy back.

All the shares of the island that you swindled from my friends.

Thank you.

And now, Mummy and I will negotiate with Mr. Pearson.

If you don't mind.

Keep an eye on them.

Come on, Gilligan.

I'm willing to offer you a sporting proposition. As you know, I'm a sporting

man. A sporting man?

You are a treacherous, conniving, unprincipled, perfidious scoundrel.

But charming.

Mummy.

All right.

All right. What is this sporting proposition you're talking about?

A basketball game.

Between my new invincibles and your guests here on the island, the Howland

Globetrotters.

For ownership of the island.

Exactly.

Who have they beaten?

Nobody. You see, they've never played professionally before.

Well, Junior, take it or leave it.

It's your last chance to get back the island.

And a very big opportunity for the Howls to win a bet from me.

After all these years.

Unless you're chicken.

Chicken?

A howl is never chicken.

Pheasant under glass, perhaps, but never chicken.

Right then.

It's a bet.

Be

certain

to monitor the thermal sensors. They are crucial.

You've done a wonderful job, Olga.

Wonderful. Thank you, J.J.

I'm so happy, even thrilled, that my talents have not escaped your attention.

None of your talents have escaped my attention, my dear. None of them.

Morning.

Morning. Morning.

Pardon.

Just out for my morning stroll, you know, nothing like a breath of island

air to fill the hollow lungs.

You are of a spying mission, pure and simple.

You've come to sneak a look at the new Invincibles, admit it.

Well, it's a free island.

At least it will be after the game.

You really think so, eh?

New Invincibles to the practice court, please.

Well, that fancy intercom will not help your team much against the Trotters.

If it were only an intercom, perhaps.

But this device is quite literally the brains of the team.

Another handicap?

Invincibles are brainless?

That's ridiculous.

All human beings have brains.

Even Democrats.

I never promised you human beings, my friend. I only promised you the new

invincibles.

Hello again, everybody. This is Chick Hearn welcoming you to a special edition

of UTV Sports View. And we're coming to you live via satellite from a remote

Pacific island.

In a few moments, you're going to see the most unusual event in the entire

history of sports, we think. The Harlem Globetrotters.

coached by Dewey Stevens, against the New Invincibles. And the New Invincibles

are robots.

Yep, you heard right, robots. And this is going to be the basketball game of

the century. We understand that this game is, well, it came about as a sort

of a gentleman's bet between Mr.

J.J. Pearson and Thurston Howell IV, one of the co-owners of this magnificent

island. And since these two men are considered among the world's richest

individuals, you can imagine what the stakes must be. And I'm sure that...

Either man can afford to lose, but from the intensity on the faces that we see

around here, I'd have to think that they were playing for the planet Earth.

He doesn't know just how right he is.

Mr.

Pearson. Oh, yes.

Could I have a word with you? Oh, I'm always happy to speak to members of the

press, yes. Thank you. Do you think this game is fair? After all, robots aren't

people. Well, discrimination against anyone.

Into the camera.

Discrimination against anyone, man or machine, should not be tolerated.

Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

Someday, your toaster may grow up to be president.

Where's the professor?

I'll go get him.

Mummy, I've never seen you look more radiant or...

Well, I see that the cheerleaders for the Harlem Globetrotters are with us

now, so let's pick up the action along the sidelines.

Give me a G!

G!

Give me an L!

L! Give me an O!

O!

See what I mean?

We'll get back to those cheerleaders in just a little bit. Now let's go down to

the other end of the floor and take a look at the new Invincibles warming up.

Right now, the Globetrotters are huddling along the sideline.

And there on your screen is the mastermind. That's Coach Dewey Stevens

giving his club some last-minute points about the game plan.

Dewey's a real pro. He's a veteran and a good student of the game of basketball,

and I'm sure that he's worked out a brilliant strategy.

What am I gonna do?

What are you gonna do? Man, what are we gonna do? We're the ones who gotta go

out there and get our butts kicked.

Hey, let's be reasonable. They've got to have a weakness.

Yeah, corrosion.

Even if they're robots, they're just a team, and we've played all kinds of

teams. Yeah, but we never paid a team that had a mechanic instead of a

trainer. Hey, get you right.

Maybe they are big.

And maybe they are ugly.

And maybe they can't play at all.

Well, that's the end of that series.

We've got to go out and do our best.

Forget all this fantasy stuff and play some hard, straight-up basketball.

Can you dig it?

All right, let's do it. All right.

Hey, Professor, come on. You're going to miss the big game. I can't go, Gilligan.

But the tickets are free.

It's not that.

I saw the layup drill by the robots, and I'm afraid the Globetrotters have a very

difficult game coming up.

So I came back here to study these diagrams of computer layouts of various

robots. From the book, Computer Layouts of Various Robots, by Dr. Olga Shmetna.

Can't you do that after the game?

Oh, by then it'll be too late.

I've got to find out the basic principles that make robots tick.

They also go... Gilligan, by examining these diagrams of the transistors and

circuitry, perhaps I can find a clue to the robots' weaknesses.

I must find out if they have an Achilles heel.

Oh, that's going to be pretty hard to do, Professor.

You see, they're wearing those big, ugly sneakers.

We got the T-E-A-M that's on the B

-E-A-M. We got the team that's on the B that's really super, really keen.

Come on, people.

Beat the machine.

Now time to meet our two teams.

It's going to be a great game. First of all, let's meet the Harlem

Globetrotters.

Geese Osby.

Sweet Lou Dunbar.

The great dribbler, Curly Neal.

Nate Branch.

Robert Page.

Twiggy Sanders.

Thomas Thornton and Jimmy Blacklock.

The coach of the Trotters is Dewey Stephens.

And now the challengers, the new invincibles.

Coach of the New Invincibles, Mr. J.J. Pearson.

Fans, you probably know the Trotters have never played a home court game, but

they might have the home court advantage because the New Invincibles have only

one rooter, and he's probably a relative.

clubs are lined up the referee is ready and here is our center jump

the new

invincibles tip the ball long and driving for the basket the new

invincibles they put it up and they got a hoop

and

the score is 2-0 as the Invincibles draw first blood. That play took exactly two

seconds.

Trotter's ball out of bounds. Baseline backcourt.

Dallas Thornton to Curly Neal.

Intercepted. Wow are those Invincibles. Quick and it's 4-0.

Thornton brings the ball in again. This time intercepted by number two and he

gets a hoop. It's 6-0 in a matter of opening seconds.

Captain? This teaches me a valuable lesson. I'll never take another bet as

long as I live.

Are you sure?

You want to bet?

The Trotters will try it again. It's into Curly Neal. He starts his dribble

drive. He's coming up the floor, and he's deliberate.

The new Invincibles have a super passing game, and they usually wind up with a

very high percentage shot. And usually, it's right in the hole.

Basket for the new Invincibles. Number three! Number three!

Nate Branch passing that ball to Robert Page.

Page has the ball stolen. Another basket for the new Invincibles. Ten to one is

the score.

I'll come behind number two, Geese. Curly Neal now.

Give the ball off to Geese.

Geese looking inside. Nothing there. Look at those arms flap. If he gets a

strong wind, he'll take off.

Can't see it, man. Now Geese just holding that ball.

see curly back there he says so geese puts it up

double

charge

two shots two shots one for each foul charging against the trotters and under

the rules of the islands they're each going to shoot a free throw the first

one from fifth

That makes it 13 to 1.

The trotter's really getting pummeled here. The next one's good, and it's 14

to 1.

They're up and down this court faster than you can turn your head.

Found you, 32!

You're into him! Two shots!

Hey, but I was pushed, man. No!

I saw your two shots. Are you blind?

Charging against the Trotters, and I'll tell you, every facet of the basketball

game offensively is going right down to the new Invincibles. They have run that

score up to 91-1.

The first one's good.

And so is the second. The robots have not missed a free throw in this

ballgame, and that makes the score 93-1.

Ladies and gentlemen, just 15 seconds left in this first half.

East Osby brings the ball down the floor for the Trotters. He looks inside, and

he sees...

Well, some kind of a zone defense.

I'm going to put a label on it. It's a deep freeze because they're frozen in

their tracks. He's got them mesmerized. Look at Geese. He can't believe they're

standing still. First time he's seen them flat footed. He scores.

And finally, the Trotters winning section has something to cheer about.

Why did you do that?

Oh, I don't know. I just had a moment of heart.

You might give them confidence.

Oh, yeah?

Watch this.

It's halftime, ladies and gentlemen, and just about as disastrous and lopsided a

contest as I've ever seen in my life. But as they say, it's not over until the

final buzzer.

And if I know Dewey Stevens, he's working out a strategy right now that'll

turn things around in the second half of this game dramatically.

We're finished!

We are through.

Say, coach, that's some pep talk. Say something good.

Those are lean dudes out there. They're built like trash cans, but they move

like jets.

Next half, let's get out there and fight. That's right. Yeah, we got to

take it to them. Hey, we can't let up. That's easy for you guys to say. You

foul out.

Okay,

our zone defense ain't working at all.

Maybe we ought to go out there and play a man-to-man.

How can we play on man-to-man when there ain't?

And the robots?

Excuse the pun, but they're getting all charged up for the second half.

Spencer!

What is it, Gilligan? It's halftime, Professor.

Well, I'm still trying to understand some of the intricate circuitry in the

robots. If I can determine the programming techniques, perhaps I can

show the Trotters how to circumvent the electronic input.

Well, it sounds good to me, Professor.

I don't know what it means, but it sounds good to me.

By the way, what's the score of the game?

Robots, 95.

Trotters, 3.

Oh, dear, that doesn't sound promising.

It does if you're a robot.

There must be a way to beat them. The Trotters can't keep up. Those robots

aren't human.

The problem is, these...

Robots have an extremely sophisticated memory system, and they must have been

programmed with every known basketball offense and defense.

You're right, Professor, and the Trotters have tried them all. The only

thing they haven't tried is those funny tricks and weird plays.

Eureka, Gilligan, I know exactly what you mean. Come on! What I mean! What I

mean!

That's what I mean!

You can't play normal basketball against them.

They can only do what they've been programmed to do. They can't think.

Therefore, use the element of surprise.

If the situation calls for going forward, go backwards.

If it calls for a pass, hide the ball.

If it calls for a jump, fall down.

Use your incredible magic and wizardry. I mean, you're the Harlem Globetrotters.

Go out there and do what you can do better than anybody in the world.

Now you heard the professor.

We're going to go out there and win.

We're going to play like we know how to play.

We're going to show them some jazz, pizzazz, and razzmatazz.

Now who are we?

Globetrotters. I didn't hear you.

Globetrotters.

the new Invincibles 95, the Globetrotters 3. And remember, the

Globetrotters have fouled three men out, so they've got only five players

eligible for the second half. Here is Twiggy Sanders faking a face, stealing

the tip.

the new invincibles have

never seen anything like this before they just don't know what to do

up his sixth foul and he's out of the ball game. And look at Twiggy. Twiggy's

all over that referee.

Chargers, you're black.

And stupid.

Technical. Oh, no.

And ugly.

And round.

And Twiggy has been kicked out of the ball game. And all of it happens just

when the Globetrotters seemed about to catch up.

But it looks like they've fallen just a little bit short.

Goodbye, Ireland.

It looks hopeless, Gilligan.

Skipper, those guys did us a favor. It's up to us to do them a favor.

What do you mean? We're going to play with the Globetrotters.

Oh, you call that a favor? Well, it's better than nothing. Come on, come on.

The Globetrotters have only three players left, but Dewey Stevens, their

cool and unemotional coach, you'll come up with something.

The Trotters are a hit by one, but the robots have never missed a free throw.

Coach, coach, put the two of us in.

Two of who? Us, us.

Maybe I should.

Things couldn't get any worse.

Well, the trotter coach, the sly one, Dewey Stevens, has reached into his bag

of tricks again, Neil.

And he has, well, he's got not just one, but he's got two substitutes. Now, they

don't look much like basketball players, but looks can be deceiving.

Now, we've got just 20 seconds left to play in the ballgame, and it's all going

to be decided right here and right now.

Hey, Skipper, what did they just spell?

It was Gilligan.

Ah, two Wills. And the Harlem Globetrotters leading for the first time

in the ballgame, 99-98. These people in the stands are going absolutely wild. I

don't blame them. Here's the technical. That could tie it.

It's good. We're tied at 99.

And now on Jimmy Blacklock, six personal fouls. Here's another free throw.

That is good. And once again, the Invincibles are in front, 100 to 99.

And now the Trotters have Gilligan in for Blacklock and the skipper in for

Twiggy. They might have lost, though, their last opportunity. The Invincibles

still ahead by one point.

And unless the Globetrotters can score in these last few seconds, it's all

over. Referee Bruce Biggs takes a close look at the clock. They give the ball to

Gilligan. And look at this.

Basketball's flying wedge.

Gilligan with the ball. Having trouble controlling it. But he's still behind

that three-man wall.

Gilligan yo-yoing up and down. Loses it on a high bounce. Curly Neal saves the

ball. And immediately, the robots put on a five-man press. Beautiful defense.

And where is Curly going to go with that ball?

seemingly nowhere.

They've got to get a basket. Time has taken away.

The Globetrotters on the verge of a defeat, and their fans still yelling,

here's a rolling pass.

They get it to Gilligan, and Gilligan seems to be absolutely transfixed. He

looks up at that hoop and says, I cannot do it. He won't shoot it despite the

urging of his teammates and despite the urging of the crowd.

And the referee, Bruce Bakes, takes another close look. We're down to the

final seconds. What are they going to do with Gilligan?

One, two, three.

Junior, you're so naive.

Naive? Yes. While this game was diverting your attention, I took the

liberty of removing all the supremium from your island and storing it on my

yacht.

Now, George.

That's tons of supremium. All the supremium in the world, removed by some

excellent stevedore robots designed by Dr. Smetana.

Oh, it was nothing.

She's quite a scientist, you know.

And if you'll excuse us, gentlemen, we'll be off. And soon, the entire world

will be under my domination.

Dr. Smetana, I'm surprised.

Of course you are surprised.

At what are you surprised?

Surely you must realize that Supremium is extremely unstable, particularly when

stored in large quantities above 76 degrees.

Do you have any idea what could happen in the hold of that ship?

Tell me what could happen.

Could happen.

Junior, look who's here. Just in time to see you win your bet.

Daddy!

Junior, congratulations, my boy. Couldn't have done it better myself.

Well, maybe just a little better.

Owl victory is a howl victory.

I couldn't have said it any better myself, by George.

Oh, Froot, you are so good to see you, Boobie. Yeah.

Lovie, I'd like a word with our guest.

There you go.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.

I would like to thank the Globetrotters on behalf of all of us for saving our

island.

Diminish your hubbub.

Diminish your hubbub.

And to show our gratitude, you're invited to stay here free.

Off-season, of course.

And now back to the hotel for a victory celebration.

And all the drinks are on the... Dancing in the lounge. Don't you ever do that,

guys.

Johnny, let's go unpack your bank books.

Oh, yes. Capital idea.

See you later, son. Ta-ta, daddy.

Ladies and gentlemen, I got to get up here. I got to get a word with Gilligan.

I got to fight through this crowd.

The world is waiting to find out.

Gilligan, how did you ever accomplish that shot? I know the Globetrotters can

do anything but the first full-body slam dunk in history. How'd you do it?

Practice.

Come on, everybody.

Three cheers for the Globetrotters. Ladies and gentlemen.

To come back each week to get away from it all. To get away from it all.

Where Gilligan, the stiffer two, the Howells, and the rest will try to make

you comfortable.