Original subtitles

Come on, friends.

There's a dolphin.

Guys, there's a dolphin there.

This is amazing.

I cannot wait to get to this island.

The Greeks have no idea what's going to

hit them.

Where is everybody?

They obviously haven't reopened the island yet, you

know.

You promised me a party.

Guys, don't worry, we'll make our own party.

Okay, let's do it.

Music back on and let's rock the island.

Come on.

Fred, turn that music down.

Turn it up, turn it down, turn it

off, turn it on.

What?

I mean, seriously, guys.

This is the way to do it?

The French can't drive.

They can't park on the streets, they can't

park in the water.

Let's go.

You're crazy.

Do you know the Campo?

Oh, my heart.

Fred Siriax and I...

You're insane.

...are on a big, fat Greek adventure.

The party that never ends.

Back together again.

Behind the wheel.

What I wanted to hear is, yes, Captain.

Captain my arse.

How are you?

That's the end of the tuk-tuk, an

epic odyssey like no other.

The best chef in the world, I'm coming

in.

I called the lobster, did you see?

Proving this country's culinary credentials...

This is Slovakia on a different level.

...are up there with the very best of

Europe.

Got a bit of cream coming out the

side there.

I don't care.

Do you want a Viagra Negroni?

This is awesome.

I feel it.

One French planqueur.

When there is no wine, there is no

love.

One cocky Italian.

Moussaka is like a poor man lasagna.

And one Greek god.

You do look like a kebab.

In the birthplace of civilisation, what could possibly

go wrong?

This thing is very unstable.

You're such a moron.

We're coming soon.

So this beautiful catamaran is our home for

the week.

And we're going to be island hopping.

Catamaran is not a dessert, you idiot.

It's catamaran.

Seriously?

What is he doing?

You always beep the horn when you tell

people I'm here.

Hercules, come here.

You take this over.

Okay.

Okay?

Don't touch all the buttons.

If you don't know what you're doing, don't

touch buttons.

Okay.

One of that.

Thank you.

Gordon, you don't move.

Please.

Don't, don't.

See?

This is the captain's skills.

Have you seriously got a licence?

All jokes apart.

I sailed more boats than you cooked beef

wellington.

I can tell you that.

Absolutely bollocks.

Welcome to Greece.

Come on.

What is this?

This is called douloufakis.

It's a Cretan sparkling wine.

Hold on, hold on.

Say that again.

Douloufakis.

Oh.

It's a Greek wine.

It's actually Cretan.

Is there a question?

It comes from here.

So if I go into a bar and

say to the ladies, excuse me, douloufakis, listen,

I'm not going to get punched.

Yes.

This is part of the Greek wine renaissance,

following the method champenoise, the traditional champagne method

to make wine.

Right.

So here we are, a bit of France

in Crete.

Thank you very much.

You think about Greek food first before you

think about Greek champagne.

I'm more excited about the ingredients here.

Greece never gets the look in that France

has or the Italians.

Honestly, I think Greek cuisine is better.

Than Italian cuisine.

You know that, right?

No, you're not serious.

You cannot, you can't...

I mean, say something.

Say something.

The thing is, in Crete, for example, yeah,

this is one place in the world where

people live up to 90, 100 years old

here, and that's because of the food and

the climate.

Italian diet is one of the most famous

diets in the world for people living many,

many years.

They live longer here than in Greece.

Simo, you cannot compare it to Italian.

Oh, stop.

Our Greek island-hopping adventure begins in Crete,

Greece's largest island.

Before navigating our way to stunning Santorini, then

it's onwards to the party island of Mykonos.

It feels like such a privilege to be

here, especially this year.

I am starving.

Me too.

Look at these.

Come on, seriously.

How beautiful is this?

I mean, you can now start to understand

why the country prides itself on some of

the best ingredients anywhere on the planet.

Tell you.

I mean, think about lunch.

Think about a beautiful tomato and the best

cheese in the world, a feta salad.

Like a Greek salad.

Yeah, of course, but we need a main

course that will just lift our lunch beyond

belief.

Go on.

So I've arranged for a fisherman to help

get us an amazing delicacy, kolotypa.

What's that?

What's that kolotypa?

It's a beautiful lobster.

It's got no claws, but this thing is

sweet, it's delicious, and it's literally just round

the bay there.

We're going to go diving.

Yes.

Do I have to?

Come on, a little dive before lunch.

I've recruited a crack commando fisherman, Delbo's catch,

and notoriously elusive prey.

Oh, there's Panos there.

Panos!

That's the chap we're going to go fishing

with.

That's the lobster king.

Trust me.

Oh, my God.

Look at him.

Is he already here?

Look at the state of him.

That is Panos.

Panos, right now you look like a pinos.

This is what you guys don't know.

The lobster needs to feel comfortable.

Oh, my God.

OK, I like him.

There's Panos.

I go to him, I'll fish with him.

Hey, Panos, how are you?

Hey, Panos.

Can't wait to get our hands on that

incredible lobster.

Do the lobster like pink?

Oh, I think that you will catch all

the lobsters.

What did I say to you?

What did I say to you?

Fucking hell.

I can't believe you call me a pinos.

Panos has been fishing these waters since he

was five years old.

Like every other fisherman in Crete, he air

-dries what he catches.

What is so special about the lobster?

They're called the kolotipes.

Kolotipes.

You know what this means?

What does it mean?

Slap asses.

What?

Slap ass.

Slap ass?

What do you mean slap ass?

When you see the lobsters, put your hand

close and slap their ass.

Right.

That's the name of the lobster?

Yeah, yeah.

Because they make this loud noise like...

Yes, but don't be afraid, just grab it

immediately.

Gotcha.

We'll be diving off the island of Gramusa,

a slap-ass hotspot around the strip wreck

of Dimitrios.

I'm ready.

Come down.

With no pincers, the kolotipe relies on concealing

itself under rocks.

Its scarcity and clandestine nature makes it highly

sought-after and very pricey.

First, Panos shows us how it's done.

Look very careful.

Yes, look at that.

Wow.

Bloody hell.

With one in the bag...

...the Italian urchin is losing interest.

So, as usual, it's down to Fred and

I to step up.

We have to dive down five metres.

And I tell you, you've got to hold

your breath.

You go down there, and I think you

want to come straight up.

It won't come off.

It's grabbing hold of the rock.

Shit.

When Gordon is around, wherever we're going to

go and catch something, he's going to get

it.

You hold your breath for 90 seconds, sometimes

up to two minutes.

They're very difficult to spot.

He's by himself down there.

Yes.

Well done.

Yes.

Amazing.

Beautiful.

That's one for me.

But can Frogman Freddo bag us another?

We, the French, we have Jacques Cousteau, and

we have Le Grand Bleu.

I feel like I'm at home here, you

know?

I caught the lobster, did you see?

Did you see?

Well done.

You've got to be a pretty good predator

to get them.

Like me.

Where's Gina?

Oh, no.

Fred?

Yeah?

He's on the beach.

What do you mean he's on the beach?

Gino!

What?

Gino!

Seriously?

Trying to make friends with the locals.

I realised very quickly that it was not

for me.

And also, I was distracted by another species.

One second.

I'm coming.

Ciao, Bella.

Forget about going under the water.

What's the point when you can have pleasure

above the water?

Come and pick me up!

No, you swim back to the boat.

Oh, come on!

Come back!

What's wrong?

You two left me by myself on the

beach.

With Captain Gino finally back on board, I'm

going to be barbecuing the lobster with some

air-dried octopus kindly gifted by Panos.

Having humanely frozen and part-boiled our prehistoric

prize for maximum moistness, it's time for the

grill.

There's something quite unique about being on a

boat an hour later having just dived for

that lobster.

This is a good life.

With Fred tending bar, Gino's making a meal

of a simple Greek salad of onions, tomatoes,

cucumber, oregano and feta.

See what I'm doing, Fred?

Look, flick them, grill them.

Look, flick them in there.

Gino, you're just making a salad.

It doesn't matter.

Even when you make a salad, there is

an art, my friend.

Come on.

What cocktail are you making, Fredo?

A pink ouzo lemonade.

It's going to smell like the summer.

Sounds delicious.

Look at this, the incredible plethora of ingredients

here in Greece.

Here you are, Gordon.

Fresh strawberry, a little bit of lemon.

Very simple, very light.

I love the strawberry.

They are very fresh, these strawberries.

Really, really sweet.

I'm going to season that with a little

bit of chilli, olive oil and then place

that back on the grill.

And look at that.

That right there is grease on the barbie.

Look at that.

I mean, that is beautiful.

Oh, that looks...

I mean, look how much meat is in

there.

It's like a whole tail.

That's just half there, look.

A little bit of lemon.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

That is so sweet.

Very tender.

I mean, you know, they eat healthy.

All these very simple, humble ingredients.

Nothing more to it.

Right.

Just fish from the sea.

Bravo.

What a day.

Nice and easy.

Guys, salute.

Salute.

I can't drink too much, guys.

Why?

Because I've organised some transportation.

I want to go and visit the island.

Right.

The mainland.

Don't worry about it.

Right?

Yeah.

And what I've organised is going to blow

you away.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do

for you.

Just because you cooked for us and it's

delicious, you're going to be the captain of

the tender of the boat.

You know the little dinghy in the back

there?

You can take us back.

I'm going to allow you to do that.

There you go.

Do you know how to drive this thing?

Yeah, come on.

It's a tender.

Lifejacket on, please.

It's a tender.

It's a tender.

Let's go, guys.

What?

Why do you do that?

I really don't know what I'm doing with

you two sometimes.

Let's go.

Gino, hold tight.

Hold tight.

Why do we need to go so fast?

Gordon, don't go too fast.

Gordon!

Gordon!

Gordon!

Gordon!

This is crazy!

There is no need for this!

There is no...

No, no!

Gino!

Gordon!

God, it's freezing!

OK, a little bit more, please.

Come on, Gino, pull the boat.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There you go.

Are you all right?

Gino, Fred and I are lucky enough to

be island hopping in Greece.

We've dropped anchor in Crete, famed for its

natural beauty, abundance of fantastic food and rich

history.

First stop, Chania, one of the oldest cities

in Europe.

Hello.

What the fuck are we doing in this

thing?

I wanted to get a green RV, but

I couldn't find one, so I got this

tuk-tuk.

Look at this machine.

I mean, it's all electric.

100km on the charge, 31mph maximum speed.

You've got to think about your carbon footprint.

Green, clean and serene.

You are a French dreamer.

That's true, I'm a dreamer.

As if the green frog's dream machine isn't

boring enough...

What are we doing down here, anyway?

..Kermit also seems to have swallowed the guidebook.

Look, there is this beautiful church, the Church

of Agios Nikolaos.

Look at that.

Can you see?

This town has been invaded by so many

different people and when this church was built

in 1320 and subsequently the Turks arrived here

and conquered the town, they built a minaret

and it became a mosque.

And now it's a church again.

You don't see that very often, do you?

This is dangerous, this thing.

He can't drive.

Look, now all the Greek people are upset.

That's the end of the tuk-tuk.

Look where I'm going to take you now.

The Arabs used to call this town the

Cheese Town.

Look at that.

Come on.

That is beautiful.

This thing is a real local specialty.

Good morning.

Hello.

Buongiorno.

Welcome.

Good to see you.

Buongiorno, guys.

How are you?

Are you OK?

The Odanos family have been serving up traditional

phyllo and sheep's cheese pastries, or rougatsa, since

1924.

That looks so delicious.

You put sugar on it?

Yes, this is the finishing touch.

This is really unique.

It's so different from what we do in

Italy or France, isn't it?

Thank you very much.

I'll get another.

What's the name of the cheese?

It's a local cheese that's only around here

in Chania.

That is delicious.

Can you make with any other cheese, for

example mozzarella?

I'm just asking.

Come on.

Actually, rougatsa is anything that you can wrap

with this phyllo pastry around.

So inside you can put even meat or

spinach, perhaps.

How old is the recipe?

Almost 100 years.

Wow.

Is that your mama that was making it?

Yes.

Is that your wife?

Yes.

Can we see how she makes it?

Yes, of course.

Ioanna has been making the rougatsa since she

was a young girl.

Hi.

Hello.

This is my mother.

Ah, Gordon.

Do you want to know how to make

rougatsa?

Do you want to know how to make

rougatsa?

Yes.

Yes.

Let me see your hands.

OK.

There we are.

That's a big hand.

Yes.

You like this hand, don't you?

Why?

What's wrong with my hand?

What's wrong with our hands?

Small, like mine.

OK.

You are small.

One swipe from Gordon is ten swipes from

my mother's small hand.

Oh, I see.

So we need to work harder than Gordon.

That's the story of our life.

To make the rougatsa, delicate phyllo pastry has

to be stretched and folded in on itself

several times.

It's very thin.

Yes.

Then the pictorello sheep's cheese is wrapped up

in the centre.

Look at that attention to detail.

You want to work?

Yeah, I want to work, yeah.

Now it's our turn.

Put your hand inside and just spread the

oil on the table.

I have small hands but I know exactly

what I'm doing with these hands.

Oh, my Lord.

Too much oil.

Too much oil.

What about Gordon?

Did he put too much oil?

No, no, this is too much.

Concentrate.

I am.

This whole rougatsa will never work if that

phyllo pastry is too thick.

You've got to create this thin, crispy texture.

There's a science.

And so you've got to be absolutely spot

-on.

No, no, no.

She doesn't tell Gordon off.

Gordon, look.

Yes.

Bravo, Gordon.

Here we go.

She can spot talent a mile away.

Those two, what an embarrassment.

I mean, now it looks like a pair

of French knickers.

These hands were made for phyllo.

I'm struggling here.

Thank you.

But Gordon is taking private lessons.

See, Gordon always does that.

He uses the professionals with the excuses of,

show me how it's done, and he kinds

of cheats.

When you make pastry, his forehand is better

than two.

And obviously, yeah, there's four.

He's literally, she's done everything.

Yeah.

OK, Mum, I think I'm ready for my

cheese.

Gordon, yes.

Oh, look at that.

Look at what...

I think she likes Gordon, Fred.

Anything that he does is never going to

be a problem, is he, now?

I mean, seriously, Johanna and Gordon.

She was in love with Gordon.

Yes, Gordon.

That was really uncomfortable.

He's kissing your wife.

After 20 minutes in the oven, Mama can

rate our Borgata bakes.

I looked at Gino's and it came out

like some bloated calzone.

And Fred's looked like this stuffed croissant that

was on the chanzelise.

Tuesday, time for the true taste test.

Shocking.

This one is Gino's, as you said.

Good.

Good.

And then Fred's.

The filo is too thick.

Perfect.

I mean, seriously.

Clearly, there's only one winner here.

This is amazing.

Mine was in first place, and Gino and

Fred's were vying for joint third.

What does that tell you?

These two are more or less the same.

And Gordon's is the best.

It's not a fair competition to start with,

because she made half of his puff pastry,

so come on.

She was, at the end, judging her own

work.

Is there any more compliments before we go

away?

Because we're kind of getting bored now.

Ramsey, let's go!

Gordon, Fred, where are you?

I don't want to see people sitting down,

yeah?

Because we need to take this thing out.

Thanks to our first mate, Hercules, our ship

is moored in Hania Harbour.

But self-appointed captain Di Campo will get

us en route to our next island.

OK, now, first thing we need to do,

the ropes.

Gordon, when I say so, the fenders, they

need to come out.

Hold on, you don't take the fenders off

until we're out of the port.

What I want you to hear is, yes,

captain.

Captain my arse.

Fenders out, please.

No, the fenders stay in.

Who is the captain?

Oh, my God.

Come on, Gordon, stop arguing.

Just let him have...

No, no, fender in, fender in!

They're like bumpers.

Keep the fender in!

Gino, don't go too forward.

Don't go forward, Gino.

You're going into the wall.

No, it's fine.

Leave it to me.

I know exactly what I'm doing.

Oh, fuck off.

Well done, Fred.

HORN HONKS It's rude to beep the horn.

In Italy, you beep the horn to say

goodbye to everybody, and everybody waves, look.

Everybody's waving because they know that's the way

to do it.

On the fricking wheel!

Oh, my God.

He doesn't even know his port from Starbucks.

Starbucks?

Now is not the time to bloody have

a coffee, my friend.

Oh, my God.

After a heroic shift from Hercules, we're approaching

the supermodel of Greek islands, stunning Santorini.

Good morning.

Morning.

Hello, Santorini, this is Gino D'Acampo.

Yes, the best chef in the world is

me.

I'm coming in, I'm coming in!

Unfortunately, the Italian sea stallion is back at

the helm.

HORN HONKS You know how it was created?

You see how it is, all these rocks

that come out of the sea?

Yeah.

It's a volcanic eruption.

3,500 years ago.

Stunning.

We're sailing into Santorini's famous caldera, heading for

young, burnt island, right in the middle of

the volcanic crater, home to the healing hot

springs of Nea Kameni.

You know that Santorini is called the croissant

island?

Well, it's shaped like a croissant.

Yeah, so I thought I'd give you some

croissant.

See these hot springs here?

Yes.

I've got a treat for both of you,

a mud bath.

A mud bath?

Yes.

This is going to rejuvenate you.

And let's be honest, some of us need

a bit of rejuvenation.

Yes, especially on the forehead.

LAUGHTER You have facials.

I do not!

I am sure you have facials.

And this face looks like...

Is that a fucking facial?

Are you kidding me?

We all have our own little regime secrets.

To stay younger, what do you do?

It's my beard.

I just trim it, you know, very, very

carefully and then make sure it's always perfect.

That's the only thing I do, really.

What's yours?

OK, my one is...

Sat back and cry?

No, OK.

I like to make sure that the game

room...

What do you call it?

The game room, right?

The game room is tidy.

Trimmed?

Yeah, it's all nice and tidy.

I don't like, like, a...

Aggressive game room.

Whoa!

That must be really strange.

So you're very airy up to here and

suddenly you've got nothing there.

The game room is...

That must be really strange.

It's not strange.

Oh, my God.

You just shut up, Gino.

Unlike Gino's manscaping, thermal springs do actually have

medicinal properties.

There are 700 dotted around the country.

And, like their Mediterranean diets, the Greeks swear

by them to help live a long, healthy

life.

Boys, I think we're here.

These are the coolest thing ever.

Fred, get a watch.

Oh, my God.

Wow!

Super cool.

It's like a superhero of the sea.

I see.

You just go in there, switch it on,

and it takes you in the coast, so

then we can go exploring.

You have to stay out of Toys R

Us.

All right?

Let's go.

How fast do they go, these things?

I have no idea.

This is the first time I'm using them.

What's wrong with just swimming?

No.

We need to do, like, James Bond.

You know what?

I think it's very cold, though.

It's not that cold.

How is it, Fred?

It's cold.

Oh, my God!

Come on, let's go.

It doesn't feel like hot springs.

Temperatures at the bottom of the crater nearly

half a kilometre deep average just four degrees.

You sure the springs are here?

It's definitely this way.

I think someone's living here.

I think these guys, what do they call

it?

Hermits?

Doesn't look too happy.

This is a bit spooky, man.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's telling us to go away.

Go away.

I think we're lost.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Is it getting warm in the water?

Or have you just pissed yourself too late?

That's the hot spring coming up.

Gino, Fred and I are on the Greek

island of Santorini searching for a fountain of

youth in this extraordinary volcanic landscape.

This is beautiful.

What a find.

Due to the heavy mineral content in the

water hot springs are said to boost the

flow of blood through the veins increasing cardiac

output and improving metabolism.

How good is this?

Now, where do we need to go?

What's the secret?

The secret is this.

We put our hands underneath here.

Look, you're going to end up with this

mud.

Be careful that there are no stones.

Slowly, slowly.

No.

It's good for our skin.

What's in the mud?

There's sulphur, magnesium, zinc.

It's all sorts of minerals.

You can smell it, can't you?

It smells like shit.

What?

Your back.

You want me to do your back?

Just a little bit, because it's good for

the skin.

Trust me.

Bend down.

Rub it in, Gordon.

I am rubbing it in.

I'm sorry, but it's kerosene, you know.

He's not rubbing it in.

I'm feeling something.

He just didn't put the mud.

He just actually properly massaged him slowly.

I've never seen that.

There's other ways to exfoliate.

You know that?

With a loofah.

Who's loofah?

The extremely high sulphur content gives this mud

its unique colour.

You two really smell.

We need to find a rock now.

Relax, because this needs to dry on the

skin.

It's also said to be a natural detox

that can prevent inflammation and relieve muscle conditions,

often associated with the ageing process.

You look like you just shat yourself, and

he looks like a washed-up walrus with

white teeth.

Jesus Christ.

Now, for the full benefit, we must lay

down and soak up 20 minutes.

That's what I need, 20 minutes.

You're like a doctor now.

Look at the state of you.

I felt so good.

I feel like I'm 22 again.

I'm a little bit frustrated that Gordon didn't

get into the mud thing, because I actually

organized this one for him.

He's getting on a little bit, so he's

good for the bones and everything.

He's good for the skin.

He doesn't want to do it.

Typical Gordon Ramsay.

I never thought in my wildest dreams in

the middle of Santorini would I see two

washed-up turds.

Are you farting?

Guys, come on, look at that.

Absolutely beautiful.

Wow.