Original subtitles

Gordon, seriously, do you know how to get

to Santa?

Have you been here before?

No, the dogs know where they're going.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Remember in Morocco last year, what you did

to me at Christmas?

This is a proper Christmas.

We're in Lapland.

Embrace it.

Whatever we do, I promised my daughter I

would give the letter personally to Santa.

I am so cold.

Look at my moustache, Gordon.

It's frozen.

Gordon, I don't want to crash.

This was a stupid idea.

Why can we not get a sleigh with

a proper driver?

Gina De Campo, Fred Siriax and I are

on another culinary Christmas road trip.

It's hard to see the road when it's

all white.

This year, I'm determined that we celebrate in

style.

As always, we'll be seeking out the very

best ingredients.

The warmest hospitality.

It's like licking the inside of my granny's

armpit.

And cool your cheer.

As Gina goes in search of Father Christmas.

I'm not going to stop now.

We are this close to Santa.

And Fred dreams of the Northern Lights.

We have to be in the most sought

-after bubble anywhere on the planet.

Oh my God, look!

The kitchen is on fire!

Throw the snow!

Merry Christmas.

It's Christmas, folks, but not as you know

it.

Wow.

We are like a mobile Christmas tree.

Come on, this is awesome.

Look at the snow.

Look how calm everything is.

It's like a postcard.

Lapland's winter lasts over half the year.

A real life Narnia.

Sitting in the Arctic Circle, guaranteeing a white

Christmas in the homeland of the Northern Lights.

Look at the sun on the horizon.

I mean, this is what living is about,

guys.

We're living the life.

Oh, the alarm is going off.

This might happen.

Do you see the Northern Lights?

And what's the chance of seeing the Northern

Lights tonight?

About 50%, 52%.

Have you ever seen the app where it

makes your face look older?

Look at this, Fred, you see?

He looks like you've got no teeth.

Who is it?

No, look at it.

It's all three of us.

My old granddad.

You look like Paul Hollywood.

He's my pappy's pappy.

Look at that.

This is what you're going to look like

in about 20 years time.

No, stop it.

Why?

Why are you so worried?

Oscar's going to be 22 and I'm going

to look like I've just come out of

Friday the 13th.

Lapland spans Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia.

We're in northwest of Finnish Lapland, starting a

journey at Lake Jurisjärvi.

Hoping to witness the Northern Lights.

Then we head south to Luosto, where we'll

be herding reindeer.

Next, we hit ski resort town Levy.

Before our road trip ends in Lapland's capital,

Rovaniemi, the official home of Santa Claus.

It's not easy driving this thing.

I have to say, Gordon, you're much more

careful than I've ever seen you before.

It's good to see.

It's like you've come down in old age,

you know?

Did he say old age?

Yeah.

Fred, you're sort of late 40s now, you're

late 40s.

44 is not late 40, it's at the

beginning of the 40.

Let's be honest, you spread out a little

bit across these tough times.

You've got a bit wider.

You have a tummy on you.

You do, do you not?

That's not a tummy.

I'm creating like a roof for the game

room.

Let me put it straight.

You have a dad bod.

A what?

A dad bod.

You've lost your physique.

That's right.

You guys go to the gym every day?

Four times a week.

And you?

I get up, I do my 300 push

-ups.

Absolute bullshit.

301 actually, Gordon.

And these are all muscles.

Oh, you've got huge nipples.

It's like a Brussels sprout.

You've got a nipple like a Brussels sprout.

Tense them.

I'm tensing them.

That's tense?

Yes.

Dude, you could breastfeed.

One of the purest places on earth, Finland

has one of the healthiest diets.

But the extreme climate and challenging landscapes make

this no country for old men.

The vast frozen surface of Lake Jurisjärvi is

the perfect place for Gina and Fred to

get in shape and fully immerse themselves in

the culture here, literally.

Right, this is it.

I told you it was special.

So we're going to go in and plunge

inside a hole in the ice.

Tom, what does it mean, a hole in

the ice?

We're going to take a plunge and reinvigorate

our bodies and firm up everywhere.

And I mean everywhere.

Put your hat on.

Wowza.

Wow, it's nippy, isn't it?

Nippy?

Oh, this is a stupid idea.

What have you got underneath there?

I've got shorts on.

What do you mean, shorts?

Don't be stupid.

Why are you laughing?

No, no, no, no.

You've got nothing underneath?

Show me.

Go on, do you know?

It's the only thing I could find.

It's the only thing I could find.

We're meeting Johanna Norblad, Finland's most revered cold

water swimmer.

Johanna?

Nice to meet you.

Nice to see you.

What a beautiful place.

In England, we have a tradition where we

jump in the sea on Christmas Day or

New Year's Day with our hats on.

With our hats on.

With our hats on.

Maybe not good for...

I don't believe you.

No, I'm joking.

Hats on or hats off?

Hats off.

Hat off.

OK, so...

What's the secret to this?

So, take the ropes off.

And then we take a big breath.

OK.

We breathe in.

How can you look so keen?

I want to get it done.

Come on, let's go.

You want to get it done?

Let's go.

Oh, my...

So, I'll be breathing.

I'm telling you, he's going to go inwards.

Ice water swimming has proven physical and mental

health benefits and, some say, can even reverse

the ageing process.

OK, we breathe in.

And then we go.

OK, he's breathing.

I'm breathing.

I'm breathing.

Barely above zero, the water triggers a cold

shock response.

Oh, no!

Are you for real?

The shock provokes rapid breathing and an increase

in heart rate.

But you have to fight it.

Yo, man, let's get out of here.

No, no, no.

Oh, my legs!

I put my feet in there until my

knees and it hurt like you won't believe

it.

But, no surprise, that half-man, half-frog

Fred is able to endure the bitter cold

longer than me.

Shit!

He go there, you know, only deep up

to here.

That's it.

Shit!

You didn't even go inside all the way.

The perfect example of Gordon talking the talk,

but not walking the walk.

Can I go back inside?

Yes, it's pain.

What do you mean it's not pain?

It's pain!

It is nippy.

I wanted to give him a slice of

finish across the festive season.

We're not getting any younger.

You know, a few of us are spreading

out a little bit wider and so that

was an important thing to do.

You Finnish people are crazy.

Fucking hell!

That was cold.

How good is it for you?

The older people, they're going to swim.

Adrenaline, like endorphin, blood, everything starts to kind

of work and they look like 20 years

old and they are 80.

It was just like a warm-up.

Warm-up?

The plan is that we are going to

do some diving and some under-ice diving.

After the pain of the plunge, I'm wondering

if what Johanna has lined up next is

such a good idea.

You can imagine when you're under the freezing

water, you know, the shock it's going to

do to your heart.

I am so nervous.

Johanna holds the world record for swimming 50

metres under ice.

It's not an activity for the faint-hearted.

Well, this is it.

This is it.

You couldn't organise like a massage, like an

afternoon tea.

This...

No, we have to get in the ice.

Understanding how the Finnish enjoy Christmas.

Think about the muscles, think about your bones.

I'm thinking about I'm going to die down

here.

See, these are the typical things that Gordon

organise.

He thinks that he's some kind of James

Bond or an action man.

He organises all these crazy things, which are

not really necessary to do.

Christmas traditions aside, this is not one to

try at home.

Jackie's watching.

Yes.

Jackie's watching, you're absolutely fine.

Oscar is going to watch this, he's going

to think you are like some kind of

the super Debbie.

You're going to be a super Debbie now.

If you can grab him or something, just

get him wherever he's got something big.

Stop.

OK?

Yes, thank you.

Come on, buddy, you can do it.

Shit!

Come on, you can do it.

Disorientation and cold shock is dangerous, so acclimatising

and controlling our breathing before we attempt the

swim is critical.

With the poor visibility, we only have

Johanna and a thin rope to guide us

to the first hole.

Nice one.

Nice.

Absolutely.

It's nine metres to the last hole.

I have to trust that the adrenaline rushing

through my body will get me through.

Diving inside a frozen lake.

Isn't it amazing?

Yes!

The king of the kitchen, now he's the

king of life.

Amazing.

It's 12 treacherous metres back to the first

hole, and I'm going to attempt it in

one.

Right, guys, you ready?

What are you doing?

Watch and learn.

First one is done.

Second one is done.

Yes!

Well done.

Yes!

Nice one.

Well done, man.

That was invigorating.

What that does, it increases the blood flow.

It helps tighten things up.

It's fucking amazing.

It just all firms up.

Every bit of fucking Scotland just firms up.

Come on, Freddy.

Come on, Freddy.

You can do it.

Breathe, last breath.

Slow.

Freddy, OK?

You've got to get in the zone, you've

got to get in the moment.

This is experiencing the extreme.

Go.

He was off, he didn't even wait for

instructions, he just wanted to get in and

out as quick as possible.

You don't have to go so fast.

I don't have to go so fast.

Johanna, that's the problem with French men, they

go too fast.

No, no, no, don't worry, Johanna.

I take my time.

You know, he plunges in that water, he

loses it, and then he's in front of

this gorgeous freediver.

Johanna, calm down, Freddy.

You look like a sea lion.

Just let me in and out.

I mean, not the best fitting look, is

it?

Looking like some washed-up walrus struggling for

a pilcher.

Oh, thank you.

She has lost time.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Well done.

In a bid for Bond-like glory, Fred

takes on the full 12-metre dive too.

Is he going to go all the way

through?

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, my man!

I've been so tired, I've been so awake.

Under the ice in the middle of the

lake is like almost an out-of-body

adventure, it's almost philosophical, it's very meditative.

Time to see if our little Italian anchovy

has got the gills.

Can you give me a kiss for encouragement?

No.

Please.

No, another one.

Or how about a cuddle?

Get on with it, Gino!

A kiss, a kiss goodbye?

Let's go!

Good man, Gino.

That's my boy!

Hey, there is no crocodile.

It's flipping freezing!

It's cold, I haven't seen anything.

My lips!

Let's do it.

I love you.

I love you too, Gino.

Here we go.

It's cold.

Wow, this is cool!

Let's get a cuddle.

This is good.

When I went into the freezing cold water,

then I changed.

And you get that kind of feeling you're

never going to be able to do this

again, ever again in your life.

It was just magic.

Can we go back?

Or do you want to go to the

last one?

Oh, we go to the last one?

Oh, you want to?

Oh, yes!

I honestly didn't think Gino was going to

do it.

The minute he got in that water, he

embraced Johanna, and then bang, he was gone.

Like a bloody dolphin.

I can't believe it.

Look at him.

Now he's going for two holes.

Master diver.

Wow!

Yes!

Yes!

This is cool.

This is cool.

Well done.

The shock of the day is that Gino

the Cap now officially can ice dive.

Thank you.

Yes!

Thank you very much.

I mean, where in the world are we

going to do this?

Literally, we dived into the Finnish culture.

You were the most relaxed.

Was I the most relaxed?

He is always the most relaxed.

Thank you.

Thank you, Bella.

Great job.

Was he seriously the most relaxed?

Yes.

Oh, my goodness.

With all effort, maximum satisfaction.

How many times have I told you?

Seriously?

How many times have I told you?

Let's go, Gino!

Fred!

Gordon, slow down!

One of these days, you're going to kill

us!

Come on, keep up!

I can't believe we actually made it to

Finland this year.

Listen, I always wanted to do this.

Fred wants to see the Northern Lights.

Gino's determined to deliver a letter to Santa

from his daughter Mia.

This is the best Christmas ever!

And I want to immerse myself totally in

authentic Finnish life.

What a place to come and spend Christmas.

And top of my bucket list is to

meet a local Sami family.

The oldest indigenous people in Europe.

The Sami have lived and worked these lands

since 1500 BC.

And I've arranged to get there in style.

Hey, guys, look at all the Christmas trees

here.

It looks magical.

We've left the frozen shores of Lake Jurisjärvi

to head deep into central Lapland and the

small town of Luosto.

An area famed for reindeer herding, it's here

where I've arranged to meet a local Sami

farmer.

Wow!

How beautiful!

What a ride!

Can you just turn that camera on a

minute?

Have you seen how stupid you look?

What do you mean it was stupid, I

look?

I'm going to take a picture.

You look like the Michelin man, but it's

not going to help you get a Michelin

star.

Just show him that.

What are you talking?

This is nice and warm.

Look at the size of you.

Oh, dear.

Oh, here she comes.

Anu!

Hello!

Hey, Anu!

Hello, guys.

Ciao, bella!

How are you?

I'm fine.

Anu's so excited to be here.

This is Fred and Gino.

Ciao, bella!

And I told them that you are the

reindeer expert, and today we're going to go

and herd some reindeer.

Yes.

How many reindeers are out here on this

land?

At the moment, maybe 60 to 70.

They might get scared very easily.

We need to work as a team, so

I will be giving the orders for you

right now.

We need to be on the line when

we start to move them.

We will move them to the corral.

And what's happening if they charge into us?

Do we run, or do we stop, or

we freeze, or we play dead?

Let's see what happens.

They are animals.

I cannot know that in advance, but we

will see.

Anu's reindeer have been grazing on the wetlands

since summer, but with the winter snow setting

in, we need to help herd them back

to the farm.

Gently, guys.

Stay in a line.

Gordon and Gino, you go to right way.

We need to round them, because we need

to take the reindeer other way.

Guys, behave yourselves, yeah?

We will.

The herd are a mix of wild and

domesticated reindeer.

Some are used for food and skins.

The more tame are carefully chosen to pull

sleighs for the tourist industry, a job that

at this time of year is normally in

high demand.

Gently, Gino, gently.

I'm getting in, I'm getting in.

You can make some noises like...

The key to herding reindeer is not to

spook them.

Apparently, it's a bit like herding sheep, only

bigger.

Get in a line, guys.

Bye, bye.

Gordon, stay on the right.

Stay there, stay there.

Gordon, what are you doing?

You're supposed to follow Anu.

Remember, boys, we are a team.

Okay, Gordon, let's get this done.

Come on.

Guys, we are working as a team.

If we don't make this happen, Santa Claus

won't have any reindeer.

Get him on the right, get him on...

No!

Do not lose them in the forest.

Don't let them go, don't let them go,

Gordon, don't let them go.

All right, gently, gently, gently, Gordon.

Oh, no!

Oh, we lost them.

Oh, come on!

Gordon, hey!

This is a shamble, this is a shamble.

God damn it, I'm going to eat every

one of you fuckers.

Mission failed.

But Anu assures me that her family, the

pros, will round up the herd in the

forest and get them home in no time.

Let's go!

Guys, where are you going?

Gordon, Gino, can you stop?

Guys, I'm the boss.

Hey!

Anu, I'm so sorry, they never listen.

They are like this all the time.

Yes, you told me.

Naughty boys.

MUSIC PLAYS Back at the farm and we

find the reindeer are already penned safely in

their corral.

Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer Had a very

shiny nose Did you know that reindeer, they

don't like...

They like bulls, they don't like the colour

red.

You're joking.

No.

It's like bulls, right, Anu?

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

MUSIC PLAYS Now we need to find the

ones who will be very, very enslaved.

You'll be good at that.

You'll be very good.

This pen over here?

Are you volunteering me to do something like

that?

But because I'm wearing red...

Guys, we need to be gentle.

Shall we?

Yeah, let's go.

Anu tells us that the key to selecting

reindeer is to stay calm and appear confident.

Because if you don't, like any animal, they'll

smell your fear.

Let's test this one.

This one is a big one.

Remember that reindeer, they are scared of loud

noises and sudden movements, so you go close,

gently.

Which one of you will be the brave

one?

You want to work with the reindeer.

Do as you're told.

I can see that he is a little

bit scared of you.

You don't need to be scared.

If you are scared, he will see it

and he will get scared.

OK, so what's the technique here?

Just relax.

Relax and walk.

It's like walking a dog.

That's a good idea.

We are absolutely friends.

No, we are not friends.

Turn around.

He doesn't want to see your face.

I'm serious.

How do you say, come to me?

This thing is going to hold me in

the ass.

Puade!

Puade!

Gordon, stop laughing.

What the fuck?

Puade!

Puade!

I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing it.

That reindeer is not good for Santa.

It didn't like to look at your face.

Let's get in the wolf, come on.

After a long day outdoors, Anu has extended

her hospitality and invited us to a family

cotta for a traditional Sami Christmas feast.

And after a dismal display on the farm

today, it's only right we give her a

helping hand.

Look at this.

It's so cool outside.

This is gorgeous.

And this is the...

Beautiful kitchen.

That's the stove.

Yes, that's the fire.

We will cook.

Cook on fire.

Fred, could you please take care of the

salmon?

No problem.

He doesn't cook.

He's a waiter.

He doesn't really cook.

Listen, when you are French, you are born

into a kitchen.

Tina, could you please take care of the

reindeer meat?

Do whatever you want.

Whatever I want, so I can do an

Italian recipe?

No problem.

Just one question.

Being the best chef here, he's got the

meat, he's got the fish.

What do you want me to do?

Potatoes.

I reserve the potatoes for you.

Do you think it's OK if I make

some meatballs?

Our kids will love it.

Gordon, what do you do?

Have you got a technique to peel a

potato that everybody should know about?

I'd like to make a special potato dish.

Yes, please.

Oh, sounds great.

So, Christmas, what will you have on Christmas

Day?

Reindeer meat, of course.

Reindeer is Finland's national meat.

Much like us Brits and roast beef, they

love it and have been eating it as

their staple protein for generations.

I say that it is probably the most

leanest and purest and finest meat in the

whole world.

Healthy.

When I was a child...

Anu?

Yeah?

Can I ask you a question, please?

How do you suggest we prepare it?

Is there a way that we could prepare

it here that would make it very lappish?

To make it very simple.

I would only put a little bit salt.

We take these pegs.

OK.

And then we just nail it here.

All right.

And I will cook it on the open

fire.

I'm going to put some thyme, a little

bit of mustard, salt, pepper in there, no

cream.

And then, you know that reindeer, the smoked

reindeer?

I'm going to fry some of that over

the fire and give it almost like a

sort of reindeer flavour on top of the

gratin.

Yeah?

They're all cooked together.

I was going to get the lid and

then maybe just dig a little sort of

hole and put the coals over it.

This is beautiful.

This is insanely rustic.

Isn't it?

Wow, this is a figure of...

Less than half.

Oh, it's just so icy like that.

And this is just completely raw, it's not

smoked or anything like that?

This is raw.

Can I try?

Yeah, why not?

I just want to say, this is Rudolph,

so I have to apologise to my daughter.

Gino, actually, that's not Rudolph, because we have

the Rudolphs, the sleigh reindeer.

We don't eat our sleigh reindeer.

They are our family members.

Sometimes they can be very big personalities.

Wow, sweet.

When you throw absolutely...

A little bit of butter in there, please.

There you go.

Oh, look at that.

Add a little bit of Finnish vodka.

A Christmas flair.

Doesn't sound very Finnish.

Mind the quip.

I told you many times, mind that quip.

Shit.

Wow.

Yum, yum, yum, yum.

Yum, eh?

Yummy.

Hello.

Hi.

How are you?

My family.

Jani, this is Nils, three years old.

Ingeri, five years old, and Minja, 18.

Anu, what's the tradition on Christmas Eve and

Christmas Day?

So, Santa Claus is very important.

What's on his wish list?

Shall we serve?

Yes.

Gino's rustled up some reindeer balls.

Fred's marinated and cooked his salmon by the

fire.

And my Christmas table favourite, potato dauphinoise with

smoked reindeer has been slow-roasting in the

embers.

Smells good.

So, how do you say enjoy your meal?

I'm just hoping that the family like our

take on their traditional Christmas flair.

Guys, what do you think about the food?

Delicious.

Inger, the little one, you like it?

Yes.

Very good girl.

This is the first time that I'm having

a proper reindeer feast, and it's an experience

that I will never forget.

The reindeer is delicious.

Really good indeed.

But I think the potatoes brings it all

together, don't you?

Yeah, very delicious.

Merry Christmas, all of you.

Thank you so much.

Buon Natale.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas.