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1
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,780
Relax. Sit back.
2
00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:11,980
Let's take a look! Open wide.
3
00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:16,660
Mr Henshaw, I can't check your teeth
until I can see them.
4
00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:19,260
I'm scared. I don't like pain.
5
00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:25,260
I've been a dentist for
over 20 years and the only person
who's suffered is me.
6
00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:27,700
Another joke? Sadly, no.
7
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:29,740
Ah...
8
00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:33,940
Miss, could you...? I've already
done it. I haven't asked yet.
9
00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:37,580
You're about to do a root canal
so you need extra lignocaine.
10
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,780
What? Next patient.
11
00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:43,580
There is no next patient,
though there is someone to see you.
12
00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:47,620
Ben Harper! Am I disturbing?
I don't want to disturb.
13
00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:50,380
A...
14
00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:50,380
Andy Banks!
15
00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:57,420
The same! Never thought you'd see me
again! More of a wish than a thought.
What are you doing here?
16
00:00:57,420 --> 00:01:01,940
Dropping by. Your Christmas card
said to drop by if I was in London.
17
00:01:01,940 --> 00:01:06,780
Yours said, "Have a nice Christmas",
but I didn't have one!
18
00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:10,700
Hello, new girl. My name's Laura.
19
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:18,300
If you're here tomorrow, I'll learn
your name, but now... The excavator
and files - on the tray. Thank you.
20
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:22,580
You're probably wondering
how I'm doing. No... Great, thanks.
21
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:30,180
Sold a string of companies, ploughed
the money into the market... Life's
great. What have you been up to?
22
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,900
I'm a dentist.
23
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:39,700
The drill normally gives me away.
Bet that can do some damage!
24
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:44,060
It's all right, Mr Henshaw.
My friend is just leaving.
25
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:47,780
No, I'll be around the whole week.
Leaving my surgery.
26
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:52,100
I get it. You're "working"?
We can catch up at dinner tonight.
27
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:57,180
I thought we had caught up. Is
tonight not good? Dental conference.
28
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:59,420
That's next month. The other thing.
29
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,980
Cancelled. The more important thing.
You weren't invited.
30
00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:06,460
The thing you know nothing about.
31
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,020
You're obviously busy.
32
00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:13,340
But it's a pity because
my wife's going in for surgery...
33
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:20,420
I wanted to introduce her to an old
mate before she went under the knife.
Is it serious? What surgery isn't?
34
00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:23,260
It's all right, Mr Henshaw.
35
00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:25,620
Are you on for dinner, then?
36
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:27,980
I need to check with my wife.
37
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,740
Great! See you tonight. ..Bzzz!
38
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:36,180
Seems a nice chap. Yes.
Why don't you have dinner with him?
39
00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:39,820
Good!
40
00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:43,780
'The museum closes in one hour.'
41
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:47,540
SHE REPEATS IT IN RUSSIAN
42
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:50,060
DOOR SLAMS
43
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:52,500
'The museum closes in one hour.'
44
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,100
SHE REPEATS IT IN RUSSIAN
45
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:59,060
What are you doing? Learning
Russian. I've a group from Moscow.
46
00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:04,980
Great! How do you say, "Will you buy
me Prada shoes?" in Russian?
47
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:07,060
Let me see.
48
00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:09,700
Ah, here it is. Nyet!
49
00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:18,220
SHE CONTINUES HER RUSSIAN
50
00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:24,380
This morning at breakfast.
You wanted an egg-white omelette
and a car. Did I get either? Nyet!
51
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:28,100
If you asked me for something, I'd
gladly get it. Help me with dinner.
52
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:32,180
Then I get the shoes? Then you get
to eat! THEN I get the shoes?
53
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:36,620
Janey, I'm too tired for this.
Good. Give in.
54
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:43,220
'Where's the nearest toilet?'
Through the hall, to the left.
55
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:50,180
SAME PHRASE IN RUSSIAN
56
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:54,460
Sorry, could you...
could you speak in English?
57
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:58,500
'The bus leaves in half an hour.'
58
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,140
SAME PHRASE IN RUSSIAN
59
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:07,500
I think we have a ghost.
60
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,140
And it needs to use the toilet.
61
00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:17,020
'The information desk...'
62
00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:23,580
I knew that!
63
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,060
You'll never guess what happened.
64
00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:33,060
Andy called. His wife's going in
for surgery. We're having dinner
with them at Le Garage. Ah!
65
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,260
My uberassistant phoned you.
66
00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:39,900
She's so efficient she's killing me.
I think she's quite marvellous.
67
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:46,980
I think she's quite fired. I'd
almost learnt her name. Can we get
a takeaway? No. I'm making borscht.
68
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:52,820
It's a delicious Russian soup
made with beetroot. Isn't borscht
the sound you make after you eat it?
69
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:58,660
If I have to suffer, so do you.
If I thought you meant that,
I'd never cook again!
70
00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:06,420
Come on, Dad! Open goal!
Susan, I'd rather eat borscht
than go out with Andy Banks.
71
00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:12,660
He's your friend. He's on
our Christmas card list. So's the
paperboy, but I don't eat with him!
72
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:16,420
Let's cancel. No. It's not often
I get to meet your friends.
73
00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:20,700
He hasn't got any!
I have lots - just none I like.
74
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:25,140
How did you meet this so-called
friend? At the no-friends club?
75
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:29,140
No, at school. I stopped a group
of kids from beating him up.
76
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:32,820
My hero! I rushed in
to hit him myself, but I missed.
77
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:39,660
Hit someone else by mistake.
The gang dispersed. He thanked me
so much, I just went along with it.
78
00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:43,340
His wife's ill
and he needs your support.
79
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:45,980
Why do I have to be miserable too?
80
00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:52,220
Being miserable together
is what friendship is all about.
I thought that's what marriage was!
81
00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:00,420
See anything you like?
82
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,740
< On the menu(?)
83
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:09,780
I was...just admiring...
looking at the oak roasted sea bass.
84
00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:13,300
I know
which dish you were checking out!
85
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:18,220
Ambyr, you look very well
for someone who's...in London.
86
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:23,100
Oh, for goodness' sake!
This operation, what is it for?
87
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:28,340
I'm having a mole removed
from my bottom.
88
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:34,380
I'm afraid it is. It ruins the
perfect curve of her peachy buttocks.
89
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:36,340
Whoo...!
90
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:39,260
Oh, rack of lamb looks good.
91
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:45,460
Too bad you're a dentist or you
could've performed the operation.
Yeah! No...
92
00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:49,660
I always wanted to be a dentist.
I ended up a multimillionaire.
93
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:54,620
Tough break. No, I mean,
you're out there doing something.
94
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:58,140
I just sit around the pool
watching my money make money.
95
00:06:58,140 --> 00:07:00,780
Look, Ben. Hard cheese.
96
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:05,740
You're right, Andy. When you're at
the top of your profession, as I am,
97
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:09,660
I mean, my patients
tend to treat me as a god.
98
00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:13,500
I have the power of life and death.
Over their teeth.
99
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,900
I imagine
you have some wonderful stories.
100
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:19,580
His spit cup runneth over(!)
101
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:25,660
Susan's learning Russian.
Spotlight on you!
102
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:28,420
- Russian? Is that right?
- Da.
103
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:30,380
Fantastic!
104
00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:35,780
Learning a new language
helps improve oneself.
105
00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:39,220
Take my breasts... Where? What...?
106
00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:41,100
Sorry...
107
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:45,540
Implants. Got them last year.
108
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:50,780
Aren't they? My wife's learning
Russian, yours has breast implants!
109
00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:56,260
Have you ever thought
about getting work done?
110
00:07:56,260 --> 00:08:01,460
There was that thing with your eyes.
What thing with my eyes?
111
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:04,860
Couple of years ago... Crow's feet.
112
00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:09,940
Susan stopped smiling for a week
to avoid any more wrinkles.
113
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:12,620
That wasn't actually the reason.
114
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:17,580
I've had a bit of work done myself
on the...old wedding tackle.
115
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:22,060
Andy has the penis of a 20-year-old.
116
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,460
Doesn't he want it back?
117
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:32,460
Your husband is something,
118
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:32,460
He is!
119
00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:40,420
You get what you pay for.
Take those babies! 100% grade-A
silicone. What do you think?
120
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,020
I think they're...
121
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:46,060
Do they come separately or as a set?
122
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:48,820
A set! An anniversary present.
123
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:52,140
How romantic! I got a sandwich maker!
124
00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:58,260
Would you like to touch them?
125
00:08:58,260 --> 00:09:01,340
Ben? No! I couldn't!
126
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:04,780
Give them a good squeeze!
I don't mind.
127
00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:08,860
It's not you I'm worried about!
Go on, Ben. Don't be rude.
128
00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:11,100
OK...
129
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:21,260
Do you need
a couple of more minutes?
130
00:09:27,540 --> 00:09:29,380
Mmm!
131
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:37,820
Nothing like a nice home-cooked meal.
So why can't you lend me the money?
132
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:43,820
Sorry, Janey, you failed the credit
check. Relax, Janey. I know
where you can get some easy cash.
133
00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:49,780
Sell your organs. I told you - I'm
not dating your idiot friend Kyle!
No, over the internet.
134
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:53,340
I'm going to do it.
People need organs - I've got 'em!
135
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:57,500
Law of supply and demand.
Know how much my kidney's worth? No.
136
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,900
The going rate's £1,200.
137
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,220
Is that all?
138
00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:04,580
How about if I throw in my tonsils?
139
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:06,820
And a key ring?
140
00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:09,300
Better tidy up before they get home.
141
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:14,660
What are we going to do with that?
Give it to me - I'll dump it.
142
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:18,980
Then she'll know. Or worse,
think we liked it. And make it again!
143
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:26,260
We dump enough to say we tried it
but our palates aren't enough to
appreciate the wonders of beetroot.
144
00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:29,780
How's that?
145
00:10:30,740 --> 00:10:32,460
Bit more.
146
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:38,380
DOOR SLAMS
147
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:41,100
Children are home early.
148
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:46,220
You touched her breasts!
You told me to! God, you are dense!
149
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:53,900
I can't read your mind! Same thing!
They wanted my opinion. They could
have asked you to check for cavities!
150
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:57,980
They didn't feel
nearly as good as they looked!
151
00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:03,460
I mean... Do go on. I'd rather not!
Oh, just admit it!
152
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:09,860
You'd rather be married to someone
with a perfect body. I don't want
a perfect body. I want you...!
153
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:17,460
That sounded much better in my head
before it came out my mouth!
154
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:21,020
What a miserable pair.
Come on! Your breasts are fine.
155
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:28,220
I was talking about Andy and Ambyr.
Thanks for your vote of ambivalence.
156
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:32,340
If it makes you feel any better,
I'd a worse evening than you did.
157
00:11:32,340 --> 00:11:34,580
Bloody Andy Banks! God!
158
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:39,180
Why did he end up with the Ferrari
and the millions?
159
00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:41,540
And the swimsuit model!
160
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:45,780
I heard that nod!
I'm being serious, Susan.
161
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:52,500
The Andys of the world have all
the luck. At school, he was a loser.
I was good-looking, bright...
162
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:56,540
You've both changed!
Life's so unfair.
163
00:11:56,540 --> 00:12:02,740
Why do good things happen
to bad people? Bad things happen
to good people too! What about me?
164
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:05,380
I've worked hard. What have I got?
165
00:12:05,380 --> 00:12:10,740
A nice home, three lively
children... Go on! Rub it in!
166
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:15,580
Do you think Andy's happy? If he was
any happier, he'd be in an asylum.
167
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:22,220
So why does he keep sending Ambyr in
for repairs. She'll have had so many
face-lifts, she'll have a beard soon!
168
00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:27,940
Then where will he be?
With another swimsuit model.
And in 50 years, he'll be dead.
169
00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:30,940
Go to sleep. Count your blessings.
170
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,220
That's easy. One.
171
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:36,620
Thank you, darling. Oh, sorry. Two.
172
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,740
'The museum closes in one hour.'
173
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:44,100
TAPE REPEATS IN RUSSIAN
174
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:50,020
What are you doing? They say
you can learn while you sleep.
I like to sleep when I sleep. Shh!
175
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:54,740
I'm working. Dos vedanya. Bless you.
176
00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:01,020
TAPE CONTINUES
177
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:06,860
TAPE IS STILL GOING
178
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:10,020
'The tour bus leaves at noon.'
179
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:14,900
SAME PHRASE IN RUSSIAN
180
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:19,340
'Please... Buy Janey Prada shoes.
181
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:22,300
'Buy Janey Prada shoes.
182
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:25,220
'Buy Janey Prada shoes.
183
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:29,860
'Dad, if you're listening,
let Janey stay up past midnight.'
184
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:44,780
Oh, come on!
185
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,820
Come on!
186
00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:51,780
What are you doing? Phone aerobics?
187
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:57,540
Go away. I just got here.
188
00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:02,580
I'm just trying to prevent my life
from going down the toilet.
189
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:04,820
That's going to be a long call.
190
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,580
Hello?
191
00:14:11,860 --> 00:14:13,660
Andy?
192
00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:15,500
Hi...hi...
193
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:17,940
It's Ben...Harper.
194
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:22,060
How does this sound?
195
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:26,300
"For sale. One kidney.
Mint condition, extra-large capacity.
196
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:30,500
"Runs like a dream.
One careful lady owner." Lady?
197
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:33,180
Marketing, Michael.
198
00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:38,460
Selling my kidney on eBay.
199
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:43,780
Who's got the business section? Me.
No reading at the table.
200
00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:51,300
Should we do something about Nick?
I am. I'm ignoring him. Nick's
decided to sell his body parts.
201
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:54,700
Good!
Get him out the house bit by bit.
202
00:14:55,820 --> 00:15:00,540
See? Dad supports me. I won't have
to when this share tip pays off!
203
00:15:00,540 --> 00:15:05,580
What share tip? Andy gave me
some inside information.
204
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:12,740
Dinablast is about to go through the
roof. My son's selling his body, my
husband's gambling. It's only 8.15.
205
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:15,220
It's a one-horse race. Dead cert.
206
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:21,540
Want a tip? Don't do it!
207
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:28,460
Susan, I thought we'd start pretty
low, £2,000, maybe £3,000...
208
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:33,260
£2,000...yeah... Where are you going
to get £2,000 from?
209
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:36,260
Nick's college fund.
I've got a college fund?
210
00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:40,140
You can't touch the college fund -
that's for the world cruise.
211
00:15:42,340 --> 00:15:45,940
What about me?
212
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:49,340
I was counting on that money.
213
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,740
I knew something would turn up!
214
00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:54,620
£2,000. What have you got to lose?
215
00:15:54,620 --> 00:16:01,340
£2,000. Dinablast may not be such
a bad investment. Penny shares
can double or triple within a week.
216
00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:05,180
Michael thinks it's a good idea.
He's 13!
217
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:09,620
What are we talking about? Money.
Why didn't somebody call me?
218
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:13,260
Sleep well, Mum?
Yes, I had a very pleasant night...
219
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:16,860
dreaming about the look on your face
when I say no.
220
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:20,780
Maxine's parents bought her a pair.
They must love her more!
221
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:24,900
Some people shower their children
with gifts, others with affection.
222
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,500
Where does that leave me? Shoeless.
223
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:34,540
Dad? When Andy's tip pays off,
you'll be wearing Prada feet!
IF Andy's tip pays off.
224
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,220
Who's Andy? Andy's my best friend.
225
00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:39,780
Oh... Your imaginary friend.
226
00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:43,940
How is he? Same as ever. Yes,
but now he's got millions of pounds!
227
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:47,180
And the penis of a 20-year-old.
228
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:50,860
Cool! How much did he pay for it?
229
00:16:56,380 --> 00:17:02,660
Michael, stop playing video games.
You'll be late for school.
I'm checking the Stock Market!
230
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:07,940
Oh, God! Not you too! Dinablast is
pretty sound. I might invest myself.
231
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:13,900
What are you talking about?
With my minimal allowance,
I have to think of the future.
232
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:20,460
You're too young to invest. Not in
the Caymans. For all they care, I
could be married. But you're not...
233
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:23,220
are you? Only for tax purposes.
234
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,940
Michael, how did you learn all this?
235
00:17:26,940 --> 00:17:31,500
Simple. All it takes is five minutes
and a bit of know-how.
236
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,780
Can you teach me?
237
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:38,580
Why? Your father's up to something.
I want to learn how to fix it.
238
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:42,060
Yes!
239
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:44,180
Oh, yes!
240
00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:47,580
Up 43%! Oh, yes, yes!
241
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:50,980
Mr Henshaw's back.
He's cracked a filling.
242
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,340
Yes! He's not too happy about it.
243
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:59,700
I'm busy. I can't see him. Yes,
you can. I pushed the cavity back.
244
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:04,100
You... Don't thank me. It's my job.
Not for long!
245
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,860
Come along, Mr Henshaw.
246
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:10,380
Ah, Mr Henshaw! Good!
247
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:14,940
I suppose you're here, then.
Rather not be. Neither would I!
248
00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:18,780
Let's have a look
at that boring cracked filling.
249
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:21,380
Oh, my Lord!
250
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:26,860
Is everything all right? I'm just
going to check your details.
251
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:30,380
Oh, yes! Oh, yes! This is wonderful!
252
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:36,460
The filling isn't cracked?
It's cracked.
You're in for a lot of pain.
253
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:40,780
You just said it was wonderful.
It is - but not for you.
254
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,500
OK, let's get cracking, shall we?
255
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:49,060
What about the anaesthetic? It would
just slow things down. Dear God!
256
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,340
Yes! Isn't life wonderful?
257
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,500
It's great to be alive!
258
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:59,580
Your wife's on the phone. Tell her
I'm with a patient. You're not.
259
00:18:59,580 --> 00:19:01,780
What happened to Mr Henshaw?
260
00:19:01,780 --> 00:19:07,900
Curled up in the foetal position
in Reception. Tell him he still
has to pay for the appointment.
261
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:11,020
Failing that, use the broom.
262
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:12,660
OK...
263
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:18,700
Yes, dear. How much did you invest?
Er...£3,000.
264
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:22,500
You idiot!
I know... I know it's a lot.
265
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:26,340
Why didn't you invest more?
You said to play it safe!
266
00:19:26,340 --> 00:19:30,580
I also tell you to put the loo seat
down and you never listen!
267
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,820
Ben, I was wrong.
268
00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:37,460
Enjoy the moment. It may not happen
again for another 20 years.
269
00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:39,620
Ow!
270
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,580
He's out.
271
00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:50,820
DOOR CLOSES
272
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:58,860
Terrific! Dinablast had a multiple
of 24 and its EPS has tripled
over the last four quarters.
273
00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:01,460
It beat Q2 estimates by 2p.
274
00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:04,060
Its debt-to-equity ratio is 1.9.
275
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:06,860
Really? Yeah. What does that mean?
276
00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:08,780
No idea.
277
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:11,140
But it's great! It's wonderful!
278
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:13,980
What's come over you?
279
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:20,060
I just felt the situation needed
my steady hand on the tiller.
280
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:22,140
Don't you trust me? Not at all.
281
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:28,740
Hi, I'm Andy!
282
00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:31,580
There's no way those are real!
283
00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:36,900
Hi, Andy! Hello, Ben! Am I
disturbing? I don't want to disturb.
284
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:41,900
What brings you here? Going to the
airport. Want to borrow some money?
285
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,700
You took up my tip on Dinablast?
286
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:49,340
I was thinking of it anyway,
but thanks for confirming it.
287
00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:51,740
You already heard the buzz?
288
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:56,060
Old news. What buzz?
289
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,620
You staying in or pulling out?
290
00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:02,380
I... What are you doing?
291
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:06,540
If I had all the answers,
I'd have a villa in Tuscany!
292
00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:09,100
We do!
293
00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:12,620
Bye!
294
00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:21,780
Hey, Janey. What do you think?
I think you're an idiot!
295
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,380
No, about my Nick Bits logo.
296
00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:26,660
Looks like a mixed grill.
297
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:31,300
Cool. Do you think anyone would be
interested in anything of yours?
298
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:34,260
Bids on my kidneys are up to £300.
299
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:40,220
You're joking? Both of them? No, all
three. You haven't got three kidneys.
300
00:21:40,220 --> 00:21:44,620
They don't know that! Only you could
do something this crazy! I know.
301
00:21:44,620 --> 00:21:48,380
What will you do when
there's nothing left? I'll retire.
302
00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:55,060
It's the stupidest thing I've ever
heard! You won't be saying that
when I'm the world's richest toe!
303
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:06,900
Susan, the remarkable thing about
the laptop is it's portable, which
means you can take it anywhere...
304
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:10,340
like downstairs
or Berwick-upon-Tweed.
305
00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:16,100
I'm checking on what Andy said
about Dinablast. He may be right.
306
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:21,780
Susan, he doesn't want me
to earn as much money as he has.
307
00:22:21,780 --> 00:22:28,020
This financial chatroom says
Dinablast is under investigation
and it's time to get out.
308
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:30,700
What? Let me have a look!
309
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:35,580
You're taking advice
from someone called Yoda!
310
00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:40,500
It's not just Yoda. Everyone in
the chatroom is saying to get out.
311
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:44,620
Binky 13, Clubfoot, Stock Slut
and Professor Frankenbanker.
312
00:22:44,620 --> 00:22:48,300
Professor Frankenbanker?
Can't you hear yourself?
313
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:53,340
You're trusting total strangers
over me. Your point being?
314
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:57,260
Stay with me, Susan.
I'm going with my gut.
315
00:22:57,260 --> 00:23:01,220
Your gut!
I'm going with cold hard firm rumour!
316
00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:03,980
Let's get out when we're ahead!
317
00:23:03,980 --> 00:23:10,380
I've never been ahead! I like it!
We could be left with nothing
except regret.
318
00:23:10,380 --> 00:23:17,060
That'll be the big regret cherry
on the big regret icing
on the big regret cake! Good night.
319
00:23:18,540 --> 00:23:20,460
Yoda!
320
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:26,580
I know you're busy, but...
321
00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:32,460
the stock has gone down 22%
in the last half-hour and...
322
00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:35,140
I just need an expert opinion.
323
00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:42,620
I've got a maths test! You said it
was an emergency! It is! Your mother
wanted to sell and I didn't.
324
00:23:42,620 --> 00:23:46,900
Why not? It was up!
I couldn't sell when it was up!
325
00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:50,980
My gut wouldn't let me.
Michael, what am I going to do?
326
00:23:50,980 --> 00:23:55,140
Get out now and cut your losses.
Chances are it's just a blip.
327
00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:58,260
Don't get technical! Do I sell it?
328
00:23:58,260 --> 00:24:05,300
I've known you all my life.
Whatever your gut tells you to do,
do the opposite.
329
00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:11,820
Oh, no!
330
00:24:11,820 --> 00:24:14,300
You can't...! No!
331
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,340
No...
332
00:24:17,340 --> 00:24:20,300
Hello? Michael Harper, please.
333
00:24:21,780 --> 00:24:24,460
Yes, it's another family emergency.
334
00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:29,540
It's his mother. She's dead.
335
00:24:31,380 --> 00:24:38,460
What now? The stock - it's still
sinking. It's less than I paid
for it. It's just a correction.
336
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:43,140
A blip, now a correction! When is it
going to be a bloody catastrophe?
337
00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:47,820
Things go down and
come right back up. Not at my age!
338
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:51,140
I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
339
00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,580
It's not my loss. It's my dad's.
340
00:24:53,580 --> 00:24:57,060
You know you can go home early
if you want.
341
00:24:58,940 --> 00:25:00,980
Thanks.
342
00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:06,220
SHE TALKS ALONG WITH TAPE
343
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:10,100
'Where's the nearest toilet?'
344
00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:14,460
I'm keeping all my kidneys.
345
00:25:14,460 --> 00:25:17,620
eBay frowns on selling body parts.
346
00:25:17,620 --> 00:25:19,780
Probably for the best.
347
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:24,540
Can I borrow your credit card?
348
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:24,540
It's for my new job.
349
00:25:24,540 --> 00:25:27,500
I want to get some business cards.
350
00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:31,020
This new job
doesn't require major surgery?
351
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:34,420
Nothing like that!
This one's much better.
352
00:25:34,420 --> 00:25:39,620
Set my own hours, work from home
and job satisfaction.
353
00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:41,580
Sperm donor.
354
00:25:48,820 --> 00:25:51,740
Isn't there a minimum requirement?
355
00:25:51,740 --> 00:25:54,140
Yeah. You have to be a man.
356
00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:58,260
Back to the salt mine.
357
00:26:11,460 --> 00:26:15,300
Go away, Michael!
How do you like the new shoes?
358
00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:18,900
A lot better
if they were in the other room!
359
00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:23,180
Are those Prada?
360
00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:26,260
Why, yes! Everyone's wearing them.
361
00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:28,180
Except you.
362
00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:40,860
SHE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
363
00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:43,340
'Please follow the tour guide.'
364
00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:46,420
Because the tour guide is very sexy.
365
00:26:46,420 --> 00:26:48,820
Flowers?
366
00:26:51,700 --> 00:26:56,660
How much did you lose?
Why do you always assume the worst?
367
00:26:56,660 --> 00:27:03,380
Can't I bring you flowers?
At least it wasn't chocolates!
Then I'd know we lost everything!
368
00:27:05,020 --> 00:27:07,300
We haven't lost everything.
369
00:27:07,300 --> 00:27:12,660
How much are we talking about?
Oh, £200... We can go on the cruise!
370
00:27:12,660 --> 00:27:14,980
No, that's all we've got left.
371
00:27:14,980 --> 00:27:19,300
You may as well give me
the chocolates. Yep, yep, yep...
372
00:27:21,180 --> 00:27:25,300
No "I told you so"?
No "I was right, you were wrong"?
373
00:27:25,300 --> 00:27:29,660
Ben, money isn't everything.
We love each other.
374
00:27:29,660 --> 00:27:32,860
We have our children... Yeah.
375
00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:35,580
Still got the other college funds.
376
00:27:35,580 --> 00:27:40,380
Well, I was in the chatroom
and Yoda gave me this great tip...
377
00:27:42,540 --> 00:27:45,100
Chocolates?
378
00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:49,060
"Dinablast sky-rockets!" What?
379
00:27:49,060 --> 00:27:52,780
Isn't that always the way?
Just when you sold!
380
00:27:52,780 --> 00:27:56,100
Yeah. Isn't life funny?
381
00:28:00,620 --> 00:28:03,700
Glad you kept your sense of humour!
382
00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:06,220
Nick! Come on, Nick!
383
00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:10,300
You're not the only person
in this house! Leave me alone!
384
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:12,700
I'm working!
32501
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