Original subtitles

You know you should be at peace.

Now you go straight up those stairs.

Go on.

She is a lovely girl, Ella.

Yes, George, she's lovely.

But what a pity, Adam's mute.

So are they all, George.

Every one of them.

I saw you there. You frisky boy.

Good morning, Mrs. Purdy.

Tis a nice morning, Mr. Alden.

And how is Mr.

Purdy?

Oh, he's fine. He's fine since we got that new wheelchair.

Well, it is hard being confined like that.

Hard on you, too, Mrs. Purdy.

Oh, not at all, Mr. Alden.

One must take care of one's own.

Well, that's a fact, ma'am.

Well, first of the month.

Lots of government checks, as usual.

Lots of bills, too.

My boarders have to eat, you know.

Oh, no. No, ma'am, you don't have to do that.

No, but he takes it fast enough, expects it to.

Nobody has to do anything.

You just do.

Because you want to do it.

Yes, ma'am.

That's mighty kind of you, too.

He's a nosy bozo. I don't like him.

Now, George, he's harmless.

You can't say something nice.

Ah, Pooey.

Pooey.

More eggs, Vanya?

No, thank you, Ellen. Really?

More eggs, Mr. Ballsack?

Yes, more.

More.

Yes, please, more.

More.

How's the novel coming?

Coming, coming.

I have writer's block.

It's coming.

Very nice.

Mr. Stevens, I don't see Mr.

Stevens at the table this morning. Mr. Stevens is no longer with us.

Oh, too bad.

Too bad.

But I'm expecting two new boarders this morning.

Speak of the devil.

Help yourselves.

Willie?

Tina, please pass more eggs.

Mrs. Ella Purdy? Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?

Come in and welcome to our humble abode.

Now you understand.

In exchange for your monthly checks, which you will sign over to me, I will

provide food and lodging and whatever out-of-hand expenses you may require.

A hair clasp for Mrs. Wilson, a bouquet.

I serve healthful, excellent meals, and there is good companionship amongst the

other board.

Yes, we find that satisfactory.

This is my husband's idea.

The children, too.

Frankly, we don't have to do this.

Well, no one has to do anything, Mrs. Wilson.

One does what one chooses to do.

John is a retired fireman, you know.

He worked in Beverly Hills.

We have a lot of friends there.

Zsa Zsa, Audrey and Billy Wilder, the Math House.

Oh, I just adore Walter.

And Amy Vanderbilt is a very close friend. We visit her often. She loves

us.

I'll meet them.

Perfect.

Now, could we see the room?

By all means.

What a lot of crap that is. I don't like them.

Now, George.

I beg your pardon?

George, my husband, he's infirmed. I have to bring him up his breakfast.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Mm, how quaint.

My retirement watch.

That and a gold-plated axe.

The boys had a sense of humor.

Make yourself comfortable now.

Anything you want, just ask.

Probably also.

Yeah.

Uh

-oh,

here comes Vanya.

She's a pain in the neck.

Everybody on this side is complaining about her.

Well, George...

Boy, it's a good thing she's over here.

Excuse me.

Ella.

Strange things are happening.

Really, Vanya? Um, like what?

I was meditating just now.

Oh, Mr. Stevens is no longer with us.

Oh, I know that, Vanya.

I told you he moved away.

He moved farther away than you think.

He moved to the other side.

Aye.

And what makes you say that? My principal told me.

I saw him.

Floating like a moon in the night.

Crosswalks. Maybe you were just dreaming.

Are you sure? I'm positive.

He wants me to conduct a play on you.

He wants to tell all.

Why? Now, Vanya, I really think this is not a good idea. We must.

Mr. Stevens insists.

Oh, that hell with her. Let her have her stupid seance.

All right, Vanya.

If you wish.

We'll have it tonight.

Strange thing indeed.

Very strange.

Ah, the only thing strange around here is her.

She's just a phony baloney medium. Is she, George?

I'm not so sure.

Everybody's here. Come on.

You don't have to.

Well, it'd be nice.

Don't you want to see spirits?

No. I'd rather drink them.

I must ask...

When I go into meditation, you must not disrupt my trance.

It could be very dangerous for me.

We'll begin.

I feel the spirit moving among us.

Yes. I feel you.

Come to us.

Speak to us.

I feel you enter me.

Who are you?

Speak to us It is I

Matt Stevens

Why

have

you come to us

What is wrong with your eye?

There is a knife in it.

There is danger to you all.

There is death among you.

There is possessed demons in your midst.

Who is it of whom you speak?

I have fear.

I cannot tell.

There is danger to me as well.

Try to tell me.

I will try.

I will tell you.

Stop him, George.

There will be death for you all.

And even in your mansions.

We certainly are very concerned for you.

Oh, I felt my body just transported away, far away.

Oh, like a leaf floating in the wind, floating downward.

Downward, downward, ever downward.

All right, well, now we're going to have some tea. Come on with me, have some

chamomile tea, and you'll feel a lot better.

No, no, dear. It's all just a lot of nonsense.

But, John, it was so real.

Come on. I'll take you upstairs.

I wonder if there's any fights on TV.

Come along, Tina.

Better?

Yes.

I'd really like you to stop dabbling in the occult, Vanya.

One day it would kill you.

There's something evil in this house.

The only evil thing around here is what people dream up. That's what George

always said.

No, Ella.

There are malevolent forces working here.

eternal damnation into the outermost.

Yeah, and hell's gonna squeeze over, too.

I'll rid this house of its evil spirits.

The forces of good will triumph over the forces of evil.

Vanya, I want you to get your mind off of these things.

Now drink your tea. You'll feel better.

feel very differently about all this.

Things will look better when this house is free and clean of its malignancy.

What a jerk.

She's going to end up in the backyard with her tooth blown out of her butt.

You're silly.

I think you should go to bed now.

All right?

Rest.

Yes, I am quite fatigued.

Mom!

Here comes dinner.

It's all right, hon.

Don't be mean.

This place gives me the creeps. You're just being on edge.

It's the storm and the strange surroundings.

Seances, drunks, and that weird Mr.

Balzac. Oh, he looks like Jack the Ripper.

Fifteen thousand homeless in New York. And Tina with that disturbed look on her

face. And mute.

I wonder if she hears.

It says here they're sleeping in subways and bus terminals.

in a nut house and all you can talk about are winos and street bombs.

Janet, what's gotten into you? I don't like it here.

I feel safer sleeping in a subway.

John, let's leave. But we just got here.

Besides, we signed a contract with Mrs. Purdy. And that's another thing.

Signing over our checks?

Mrs. Purdy doesn't look too swift either.

Well, if we'll make you feel any better, we'll just stay a month. And if you

still feel the same way then...

We'll move out. I want to leave now. A month won't make me feel any

differently.

God, it's so cold in this house.

Yes. Mrs. Ella Purdy?

Yes. Well, this is Lester Potts, the Social Security office. I'm calling

about a Matthew Stevens.

I believe he lives at that address.

That is correct.

Now, who's this idiot?

Um, who are you again?

Potts. Lester Potts. I'm a Social Security caseworker.

Um, may I speak to Mr. Stevens?

Well, he's not here right now. Would you care to leave a message?

Well, um...

Would you have him call me?

He has the number.

Of course.

Thank you.

Bye.

More trouble, George?

Am I? Just take care of the banking. Stop worrying about trifles.

Take care of the banking.

Not a good day, Orville.

Cheer me up.

Have a night ma'am

cash as usual never put your trust in mattresses or banks that's my motto well

if everyone did that i wouldn't have a job well with all the savings and loans

going under you probably won't have one anyway trust them with my piggy bank

don't talk so much there is a chance that perhaps i do talk too much

Mrs. Purdy?

Oh, hello.

Would you like to rent a room?

Hardly. The name is Potts. We spoke on the phone earlier today.

Oh, about Mr. Stevens.

Did he talk to you?

No.

Well, I'm not surprised. You see, he went away for the day.

He has to come into the office.

SSI, it's time for his yearly appraisal.

Oh, I'm sure he'll contact you, Mr... Potts.

Lester Potts, would you please have him call me? Of course.

Top.

cause us a lot of trouble.

Now, now, George, patience is a virtue.

And trust is an amenity.

And a horse pucky stinks.

And so does the backyard.

I've got to do something about that, George.

Now, I've called you people three times, and no one's come over here.

It stinks!

That's what it is!

My neighborhood is reeking with something rotten, and it's coming from

my next-door neighbor's backyard.

Yes.

No, it's not gas.

No, not garbage. It smells rotten, like a slaughterhouse.

You come here right away. You just do something. Get it?

Do it. It's getting nauseating.

Trash. Nothing but a house full of trash and...

Coops.

This used to be a nice neighborhood.

Mrs. Purdy.

Mrs. Wilson, I'm just putting away some things for the party tonight.

Oh, how nice.

Maybe you could invite some of your friends. You know, the math hours. Oh,

well, I don't think they'd be interested.

Besides, I'm really not in the mood for a party.

What's the problem?

Well, I spoke to John this morning, and I don't think we'll be staying any

longer.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Is anything wrong?

Let's just say it isn't working out.

About our checks.

I cashed them today.

I have friends who know.

Mayor Bradley? Now, now, not to worry.

I'll give you your money back in the morning.

But... Well, I didn't mean to imply...

I know, I know. But you'll come, won't you, to the party with Mr. Wilson?

Well, yes, I suppose so.

John just loves parties.

Loves to dance, you know.

He studied with Arthur Murray himself.

Well, I'm sure he did. Why don't you just go ahead and get yourself all

pretty up now and upstairs?

Well... It ought to be easy for a lady who looks like you to do that.

Oh, thank you.

Yes, I'll do that. I'll put on a special party dress that lives... Taylor gave

me.

Why, it's very sad, Vanya.

Try some of this. It'll warm your bones.

This might strike you to cold.

Down to the marrow in my bone.

Willie.

In your mind?

No. Sit down.

I have to talk to number one.

Okay.

What do you think of the Raiders moving to Oakland?

Yeah, I know.

Oakland's going to be straddled with a bunch of stiffs. Not that.

Something here.

In this house. Tonight.

They all look like they're having a hell of a time to me.

I've been reading the cards.

And some of us will not be here tomorrow.

Yeah. Just like I told you.

The Raiders have moved over.

Don't you understand, Willie?

We're all going to die.

You, I, the Wilsons, all of us.

No, she had better prepare for eternity.

I saw the specter of death dancing on a cloud of mist,

moving across the moors.

His mighty scythe was reaping a vengeful harvest.

And the leaf was dripping red with new-mown blood.

Really? I always see snakes and three-headed babies.

And yours was the first head to be chopped off.

Holy shit.

Then it rolled like a ball in a children's playground.

Rolling, rolling, never coming to a stop for all eternity.

It must have stopped for a year.

Christ lady, you've got a weird sense of humor.

There is no humor here, Willie.

Only death and destruction.

You don't believe me.

But you'll see.

You'll see.

I keep my eyes closed.

I've been to other places.

And other worlds.

Yeah, me too.

You sure you ain't been in this? No.

Maybe you should try it.

Poor thing.

All of us.

I was hoping you'd come.

Okay, very long.

It's been so many years since I've been in this house.

Well, nothing's changed.

Not in the inside, baby.

Let her choke on a pretzel.

Have a pretzel. But in the outside.

That's really my true concern, Mrs. Purdy.

She smells something.

I don't understand.

Well, that terrible smell in your backyard.

There's always room for one more.

Not in the back yard.

Mr. Potts. You remember my name?

Of course. Come in.

I'm still having trouble getting in touch with Mr. Stevens.

Oh, you're so persistent.

I love a persistent man.

But he's still not here. He's in Chicago.

Chicago? Chicago.

Oh, I see. I'd like to send you there with him, you little wolves.

Why don't you just come on upstairs? We're having our little monthly party.

How stupid can you get, Ella? He'll question everybody about Stevens.

No, he won't. I'll bet you.

I beg your pardon?

I said nobody's going to bite you.

Well, I don't think I can.

Maybe I could stay for a minute or two.

Good.

A little party for our boarders and friends.

Neighbors. Would you like some punch?

Oh, thank you.

I hope that's not straw.

It tastes like water to me, pal.

Oh? Want something to really curl up your toes?

Try Vitalis.

Sterno ain't half bad either.

Mr. Stevens here.

Stevens? No, he's gone.

Chicago? Chicago.

Yeah, why not?

Did he say anything?

Oh, he talked a lot.

Mr. Fox.

Lester.

This is Tina.

He would love to dance with you.

Wouldn't you, Tina?

There's a lovely bottle of Jackie E. downstairs. I'm going to keep it.

For my dis-purpose.

Did you hear that? Did you hear that call?

Yes. You better go on down and get something.

Oh, yeah?

Come on.

Come on.

Sayonara.

Sayonara.

You're a very good dancer.

Do you like Mrs. Purdy?

Yes. Mr.

Stevens. Do you know where he is?

The other boarders. Are they all here?

You can't talk.

Well, I'm sure they are.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, all.

This is the last dance of the evening coming up.

And I have something sad to tell you.

The Wilsons will be leaving us tomorrow.

Thank you for coming.

Now you

drive carefully.

Oh, there go the lights.

Don't tell anyone about the fertilizer.

I'm drunk.

I would like to see you tomorrow.

We have some business to take care of. Yellow, watch out for the street.

Of course.

Anytime.

Bye, Mrs. Petty.

I know, George.

You're gonna have to leave this house.

I know that, George.

Everything is closing in around you.

You better check on Willie.

I better check on Willie?

There, finished.

I want to leave now.

It's raining, Janet.

I think you're being rash. Then why do I feel this way?

Take a bath.

You never believe me. I know there's something wrong. I feel...

They'll have to get rid of him.

They'll have to get rid of the Wilsons, too.

clock for five.

I don't want to see anybody in the morning.

Yes, dear.

I'll call the math house tomorrow and maybe they'll ask us to stay with them

for a while.

They're not getting an answer.

Did you hear me, dear?

Oh, probably.

What are you doing down here?

I have to talk to you now.

Well, could you think we could talk in a minute? No, now.

I have to find Willie.

He's not here.

I must talk to you.

Don't wait here.

Hurry back.

I must talk to you.

He's not here.

He's not here.

Well, he's not here.

I had another vision.

What? Yes, just before I came down to find you.

She knows everything.

What do you know?

Everything.

And nothing.

But I saw something.

I saw the wilderness.

Where, Vanya?

Where did you see them?

I saw them in their graves.

They're dead. I know it.

You're imagining things, Vanya.

I saw them leave a little while ago.

Then why did I see their vision?

I wonder if Willy's in the basement.

Let's take a look.

You look over there.

I love you.

Where is everybody?

Take the magazine, huh?

More coffee, Mr. Balzac?

Where's Vanya?

Where's Willie?

The Wiltons left early this morning.

Good thing, too.

She looked a little weird to me.

I have writing to do. I... I can't sit here and wait for everybody.

I can't understand how someone could miss a meal.

Sinful.

Sinful.

You've been a very busy lady, Mrs. Purdy. Very busy.

Very rich, too.

Where are all those people you've been collecting checks for?

I think we should have a little talk

Mr. Parr.

Mrs. Purdy, we have something important to talk about. May I come in?

Of course.

I didn't expect to see you so soon, Mr. Parr.

Mr. Downs?

Mrs. Purdy, I've come across some very disturbing figures in my case file.

Yes, I... Would you like some tea?

I don't think... No, it'll only take me a moment. You know, tea is very, very

good for you. The Chinese... Mrs. Purdy, please.

Yes, of course. Well, I won't interrupt you any more than you just go right

ahead.

Mr. Stevens, is he back from Chicago?

Oh, just tell him anything he wants to hear.

Yes, he is.

Really?

Is he here?

No, he's gone for the day, but he'll be back this evening.

Good, then I'll come back to see him.

Let's send this guy for a ride.

Good. Then that's settled.

Not quite.

Tina!

Oh, do you remember Tina?

My dancing partner. How could I forget such a charming young lady?

Why don't you serve Mr. Pots and tea? You will, won't you? Because I have a...

A little chore to do.

You don't mind, do you?

No. I'll be back in a jiffy.

Hello, Miss Purdy.

Can I have your hand?

You got oil all over the sports page.

Really?

Where have you been?

You know, it's the funniest thing.

Last thing I remember was in the kitchen, down in that bottle of JD, when

I woke up.

I was sitting in an alley down on 5th Street drinking furniture polish with

some bum.

Tasted worse than three-day-old torpedo juice.

This guy's got a cast-iron stomach.

Willie, one of these days, you're going to poison yourself.

Maybe.

But right now, I need a hair of the dog.

If you don't stop your drinking, Willie, you'll be seeing pink elephants.

Very lovely. Very, very lovely.

Where is Mr.

Stevens?

You must know something.

Where are all the boarders who are supposed to be living here?

Mr. Potts!

I dare say your behavior cannot be found in a government manual.

I'm very disappointed in you, Mr. Potts. And I suggest that you leave the

premises. Anything you want to discuss, we can discuss tonight.

Or I can discuss it with your superior on the telephone now.

All right, Mrs. Purdy.

Tonight.

Take a hike, brother.

A long hike.

What the heck?

Oh, what the... Oh, what the heck?

Holy cow!

Are you feeling me, Pat?

Like a million bucks.

How the hell am I supposed to feel?

You could feel lucky.

That's quite a crack up you had.

You should have that kind of luck.

Let's see how your temperature is.

This is Detective Watson from the LAPD. He wants to talk to you.

How are you feeling?

What is this, 20 questions?

Do you have any reason to take your own life, sir?

Are you crazy?

No, but we are concerned.

Do you know anyone that would want to kill you?

No, why?

Your brake line was cut.

Who would want to do that?

That's what we're here to find out. It was either you or somebody else.

What the hell is going on around here?

Just answer the question.

Mrs. Pardee.

Why don't you serve Mr. Poskinski?

You will, won't you? Because I have a little chore to do.

There's no one.

Oh?

Is that so?

There was no one.

Oh, sure.

But that line was cut clean.

I think I know what happened.

Okay.

I was driving down the street, and I ran over this hubcap. I could hear a lot of

noise under the car, and I think it cut the brake line.

I suppose it could do that, yes.

Thank you, Doctor.

I hope you're feeling better, Mr. Pott.

Sorry about the questions we have to ask, you know.

When do I get out of here?

Well, I'm going to keep you overnight.

We'll probably send you home tomorrow.

Really, I didn't know you were in here.

I didn't know I was in here either, Miss Brady.

I'm worried about me.

Why, what's wrong, Willie?

I think I'm losing my mind.

Well, it's the liquor.

You've got to stop drinking.

It ain't easy.

You just need something to occupy your mind.

You know, there's something wrong with the furnace down in the basement.

Would you go take a look at it for me?

Sure. Why not?

You ain't there.

Here's just a nightmare from six-pack.

Hello, Boog.

You thirsty?

Maybe you want to imbibe with some spirits with me, spirit.

Oh, don't Bogart the thing, pal.

Son of a bitch, you're a bigger drunk guy.

What you got there, pal?

Don't worry, Miss Birdie.

You were right.

D.T.'s got me.

I could swear there was a spirit down there eating a human hand.

Let me ask you something, Willie.

Did you talk to that spirit?

Yeah.

Nicely?

Yeah.

Why don't you just go on up and rest?

And I'll come up in a little while with some tea.

Yeah.

All right.

Losing my memory.

Ghouls eating hands.

I'd better quit drinking this dirt all.

It's later than you think, Ella.

You've got to leave this place.

Yes, George.

You've got to leave this place.

It's me, Miss Purdy.

Miss Purdy.

I must talk to you. Get him out of here. I don't really like people in my room at

this hour.

Mr. Ball, that's Mr.

Purdy.

What is this?

Well, that's a watch, Mr. Ball.

This is not just a watch.

This is Mr. Wilson's watch.

You stole it.

Not at all, Mr. Porter.

He gave it to me as collateral on his friend.

I'm going to give it back to him.

Where are all the Borders?

What's happened to them?

They're in the backyard where you're going to be.

I have the faintest idea what you're talking about.

Something's happening around here. The only thing that's happening around here

is you're wonderful.

Vivid imagination.

Oh, landscape.

You writers just let your imagination run away with you.

It's true, Mrs. Purdy.

The creative process is quite difficult on one's nerves and mentality.

I know.

What you are is my suffering.

It's true.

But one cannot create without suffering, can one?

Of course not.

Oh, what's that I hear? Why, it's Tina taking her shower.

Tina?

Shower.

I must get back to my writing.

Why don't you do that? While the juices are flowing.

Yes, the juices are flowing.

Dead meat.

Too long, Miss Birdie.

I just want to tell you I'm leaving.

Why, Willie?

No, no, I'm a sick man, Miss Birdie.

I just saw you burying a body in the backyard.

Oh, Willie.

How could you think that of me?

I know.

But I did.

Tina, did you see anything?

She didn't see nothing.

Neither did I.

I'm a sick man, Miss Purdy.

I'm going to turn myself into the Veterans Administration Hospital.

He can't leave this house.

Not this time, George.

No, sir, not this time.

Leave Willy. I like Willy.

Gollum, don't you let him leave this house.

This is Purdy here.

I guess so.

Where are you going?

Have you got nose trouble?

Where are the rest of the boarders?

Oh, mister, you're a pain in the ass.

Mrs. Purdy?

Mrs. Purdy, it's Lester Potts.

I'm upstairs, Mr. Potts.

Is that you, Mr. Purdy?

I have business with Mrs. Purdy.

I know.

Come on upstairs to my room.

Purdy? I've got you in here.

Purdy?

Have you heard of a rat?

This is Purdy.

Turn around, you are looking stupid.

Meet Mr.

Perth.

I'm not impressed.

I expected as much.

I believe we have some business.

I believe so.

You cut my brake lines, didn't you?

Yes, I did.

I've been checking on you, Mrs. Purdy.

Did you know that 14 checks arrive at this address monthly?

that none of those people live here anymore.

And that you've been cashing some of those checks for as long as three years.

Yes.

Do you want to talk to me?

Well, I... It isn't easy, you know.

A widowed woman.

It isn't easy watching your husband turn into a vegetable.

So you killed him?

No, no, Mr. Potts. He was not killed.

He was mercifully put to sleep.

But then the... the checks...

Wouldn't come and I would have to give up this house

You

decided

the check should keep on coming Yes, and that gave you one

hell of an idea didn't it Yes, I wouldn't take any borders unless they

were receiving welfare or social security.

It was easy, Mr. Potter, because nobody...

hears about the old or the disabled.

Where are they now?

They are peacefully and quietly at rest in my backyard.

cared for them at all.

I cared.

How benevolent of you, Mr. Burns.

And now, if you're going to call the police,

I would like to get a few things to do.

The police, my ass.

You've been running a scam for three years, lady. I figure you have at least

$200,000 stashed away.

$247,000 to be exact.

I want it.

I know.

Mr. Potts, I will hand it over to you.

Isn't that interesting?

And you, a public senior, Mr.

Potts. I'll take the cage.

You keep the sermon.

You know, you came just in time, Mr. Potts. This time tomorrow, you would

have been gone.

Don't move, lady.

I'll take the box, and I'll leave you enough money to get away.

And if you'll take my advice, you'll do just that.

Oh, my God, I knew you were going to do it. I'm going

to kill you.

I'm going to kill you, and I'll plant you in the garden with the rest of your

boarders.

Oh!

I know you didn't mean to.

I know.

Like you didn't mean to, Daddy.

Hello there.

My, don't you both look pretty this lovely morning.

Good morning, Mr. Alden.

Well, looks like the storm is gone.

Yes, the storm is gone.

Well, I got your mail for you.

Lots of checks, as usual.

Why don't you just keep those checks this morning, Mr. Alden?

We won't be needing them anymore.

Oh, by the way, could you see to it that somebody keeps that birdbath full?

I suppose I could do that for you.

Are you folks going someplace?

Yes.

We're moving.

The devil, you say?

Where will you be moving, Mrs. Purdy?

Oh, we're going where the magnolia trees are in bloom.

And the scent of jasmine fills the air.

And butterflies flutter amongst the garden.

Mr. Alden.

Sounds like a real nice retirement village.

I was thinking more of a real nice South Sea tropical paradise.

Mr. Alden, where Tina and I can dance the pachanga all night long.

Where should I forward?

What was that?

Only evil spirits are gone.

Just a cold wind in July.