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MGM presents...that's me.

MGM presents me as..

As Hercule Poirot, the Belgian sleuth.

Au revoir.

No, no, no.

Don't try to sneak up on Poirot

my friend.

It could be...dangerous.

Now I know that normally, wherever Poirot goes

there is intrigue, excitement, murder.

But not here, not today, not in London.

No, I'm here actually, simply to see my tailor.

Now, if you'd been with me last week in Istanbul, well..

But...here we are.

I'm sorry. Again, au revoir.

Please, do not follow Poirot.

This is London. Nothing is going to happen.

Goodbye.

What, may I ask, is the meaning of this?

What is the meaning of, uh..

What, uh, Monsieur Poirot?

- This, this. - That?

It tugs.

- Tugs? - Tugs, tugs, it's a tugs.

Ah..

"Ah?" Ah, what?

- Cigarette, huh? - Yes, no.

No, I don't want a cigarette. Put them away. Put them away.

Just as I thought, sir.

We have given up smoking since our last fitting, have we not?

We have, and we do not care to discuss it.

Tsk, tsk, not only does it upset the nerves

but as one might say

we exchange the weed for the weight.

And the bulge is no longer disguisable.

- Bulge? - Bulge.

I have no bulge. I've not changed my shape.

Hmm?

Perhaps, you will be so kind

as to observe this jacket, the one you came in.

Notice the crease. It also tugs.

I'm afraid we have only two alternatives

either we resume smoking

or we diet.

I shall do neither.

Phew.

Thank you, Cracknell.

Here he is, sir, snoopin' about

just like you said he would be.

Ah, you picked well for

a discreet killing, my friend.

Very professional.

What have you to say for yourself? Hm?

Come on, speak up.

Doesn't seem to want to talk, sir.

Your hand, Cracknell.

Well, explain yourself.

I'm neither French, Italian, German

Greek, Spanish or Burmese.

I happen to be an Englishman.

'Well, then, you have disgraced yourself.'

How so, pray?

One does not expect an Englishman

to be an assassin.

Good heavens, I haven't come here

to assassinate you.

I've come here to protect you.

Protect me, indeed, I've never heard

such an extraordinary assertion.

'Can you support such a statement?'

Certainly, would you care

to see my credentials?

As you see, I am temporarily attached

to the Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries.

Thank you, Cracknell.

"Arthur George Thomas Rufus Hastings."

- Hastings. - Of course, Hastings.

By the way, how is Sir Edward?

Sir Edward?

Your chief..

- Is that his name? - Hm.

- I've always known him as X. - Really?

What is the interest of British Secret Service in Poirot?

Her Majesty's government seems to think that

you're a very important person

and as such, are entitled to protection.

Ah..

I understand you're not very popular

with the criminal classes.

No.

It'll be the most almighty

top level fuss, you know

if you were stabbed, shot or blown up

or indeed suffer any inconvenience

while on British soil.

Yes. Yes, I suppose it would actually.

Well..

In that case..

...I suppose you must join me in a massage, my faithful bulldog.

One never knows, does one?

You know, I once found a black widow in my bed.

Black widow in his bed?

I wonder why he should object to that

unless she wasn't very..

Ah!

Ah, Cracknell. Be ruthless, Cracknell.

Be merciless.

Oh! Oh! Too hard.

'Monsieur Poirot.'

There's going to be a murder.

This is a sacred establishment.

You shouldn't be on the other side of the building.

- There's going to be a murder! - Oh?

I'm frightened, that's why I'm here. I'm terribly frightened.

Oh, you think someone is going to kill you, eh?

No, I'm going to kill someone.

- No more massage, please. - I can't help it.

You see, I must kill.

Hastings!

- Hastings! Hastings! - Don't, call out!

Monsieur Poirot.

'Hastings! Hastings!'

Don't do that, Monsieur Poirot. Don't do that!

You mustn't do that! You can't do that!

Hastings!

I've killed this morning already, a man.

- His initials were AA. - AA, eh?

I've killed before, I must kill again!

No. Hastings.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- Hasting! Ha.. - Toodle-oo.

- Don't do that! No-no, listen! - Cracknell! Cracknell!

- Ow, oh, oh. - Don't!

Oh! I am sorry, sir.

'Cracknell, help me!'

- How, sir? - I don't know this woman.

Alright, young woman, on your way.

'Get out!'

After her!

'Come back, come back!'

Poirot, stay put! Stay where you are, Poirot!

- I'll handle her. - Go!

You're sure we wish to commence with brandy--

Yes, yes, yes.

Monsieur.

Ah! Extraordinary.

And this is even more extraordinary.

What is?

That such a chic creature

has nothing in her handbag.

No mirror, no makeup, nothing.

Only this. What is this?

What is that?

It's a scoring card from a bowling alley.

A score card?

For monsieur, pate de foie with toast.

How you can eat at a time like this?

It is not for this, you may believe me.

It is for this, the little gray cells.

Ah! "ABC."

Her initials, obviously, ABC.

Good Lord.

I also read the newspapers.

Now, I ask myself

why should she wish to kill Poirot?

You want to be jolly careful from now on.

Where you go, what you do.

- What you eat. - Eat?

She used poison on the dart, it says so there.

Well, then you'd better taste it.

Oh, no. I don't think there's much chance in here.

It's your duty, you're here to protect me.

I don't normally eat pate.

Taste.

I say, this is rather good.

This is a challenge to Poirot.

Why should this woman have nothing in her handbag

except that?

My little gray cells tell me, obviously, she wants me to go

to the bowling.

- The bowling? - Yes. No, wait.

Oh, the bowling.

Maybe she's in love with me.

It's happened before.

Very well, I shall go.

Look here, for your own sake

why don't you cut back to Brussels?

I shall go where I choose

when I choose, how I choose!

In that case, it'll be my painful duty

to stay right behind you.

Monsieur.

No, here.

I shall prepare the seasoning.

Thank you.

Ah, the pickle.

'Just enough, eh. Yes.'

Now, the salt.

Do you mind? Thank you.

'Alright. Now, lemon.'

'Very good.'

Now, the brandy.

No, not enough. A good tot.

Now..

Bet you don't do it again.

Oh!

I need some bowling shoes in a hurry, please.

- What size? - Afraid I don't know the size.

I usually have my shoes made for me.

Well, if you don't mind getting to the back of the queue, sir

we'll see if we can knock you up a pair.

Back.

Looking for someone to play with?

I'm looking for someone, actually, yes.

Well, this someone is Betty Barnard.

I'm very pleased to meet you, Miss Barnard

but I'm expecting someone.

It seems she stood you up, doesn't it?

It would seem so, yes.

Maybe, you can help me.

Well, it rather depends on what you have in mind.

I'll be off in a few minutes.

Got a cigarette?

Egyptian on the right. Virginian on the left.

'Solid gold! "Hercule, from Danielle."'

Who's Danielle?

La Contessa Sirenuse is the most

beautiful woman in Europe, actually.

- Light? - Of course.

Won't you join me?

No, thank you. I've given them up.

Then why do you carry them with you?

To strengthen my willpower.

What good is willpower?

May I have my cigarette case, please?

How much is it worth?

It is beyond price.

- It's mine. - And this is mine.

Me? You couldn't afford the down payment.

Come on, get your coat on. You've got a date, remember?

So I have.

I happen to be looking for a young lady.

So I notice.

Very tall, very beautiful.

Very blonde, very strong.

A little strange in a manner, you know.

I don't know her name

but her initials are ABC.

- You know her. - No.

- Now, why should you say that? - Uh, you can tell me about her.

- You bet your life I can! - Shut up!

There's no point in asking her about women.

All she knows about is men.

Especially the size of their wallets.

Alright, that's it, Don Fortune.

May I have my cigarette case, please?

There's your case.

My goodness, these young people

certainly take their bowling seriously.

'Hey!'

Hey, Poirot, where're you going? Come back, Poirot.

Hey, you! Bring back those shoes.

- Poirot, come back. - Hey, you, fat boy.

Hey, you!

Let go of me. Will you let go of me?

- 'Where are you going?' - 'I have to follow a man.'

Young lady.

Young lady, I've been looking for you.

I am Hercule Poirot. Now, surely you wanted me to find you.

I don't know you. What do you want?

Oh, come, of course, you remember wrestling with me

in the steam room?

I don't know what you're talking about.

- I've never seen you before. - Will you please turn this off?

- You want some help, miss? - Yes, please.

This man keeps bothering me.

Oh, come on, please. Young lady, please.

Please, young lady. Please, please.

I think you better catch some other bus, don't you?

You mind your own business.

He'll mind his as long as you mind yours.

That young lady is my business.

- She doesn't think so. - You mind your business!

Look, you just clear off.

- 'Someone get the police.' - That's a good idea.

Call the police. Call the police.

Thank you.

What's all this then?

Well, it's a bit late for Christmas.

Sorry, sir. Been a long night.

You've noticed that too, have you?

- I want to borrow some boots. - Boots?

Boots.

I suppose it wouldn't be in the national

interest to inquire--

No.

No, sir. What size boot, sir?

Well, I generally have..

Yes, well, we won't go into all that again.

Just give me the largest boots you have.

Ha. Dragbot!

- 'Take your boots off.' - What?

No questions, take off your boots.

Now then, I want your help in tracing

a very important missing person.

I better see your inspector in charge of CID.

I'm afraid you can't, sir. He's out on a case.

Well, get him back.

Well, it's a, it's a case of murder, sir.

- Scotland Yard are involved. - Yes.

We don't want little routine matters to..

- Did you say murder? - These things do happen, sir.

Ah-ah, thank you, Dragbot.

- Boots, sir. - Thank you.

I suppose the victim wasn't a little

short bald-headed Belgian

with a bit of a beak, was he?

I hope they fit, sir.

You don't mean a very short

very balding, little Belgian, with a beak?

That's what I just said.

This way, sir.

Well, the charge is using insulting behavior towards

a young woman with intent to commit a breach of the peace.

Sir. Uh..

There's nothing to worry about.

He, uh, claims he's doing his yoga.

Well, Poirot, what are you doing there?

Get up, get down at once!

- Open the door, come on! - 'Yes, sir.'

When I collected your clothes in the hotel

they asked me when you were leaving.

I told them today.

Then you erred, my dear Hastings.

You erred.

Your, uh, valuables, sir.

- I'm sorry, sir-- - I do not wish to discuss it.

- Or even to think about it. - Yes, sir.

Look, why don't you go home? Then I could go home.

I've been up all night. My wife won't understand.

There's a telephone. There's a telephone.

I'm not allowed to tell her that I'm in the secret service.

She thinks I'm in the Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries.

Beyond belief!

Please, tell me where you're going.

I cannot see why they're having such difficulty.

The whole thing is very clear, Mr. Stringer.

I quite agree, Ms. Marple.

The solution is ABC.

to anyone with half a brain cell.

If you must know, I've some unfinished business

with my little bowling instructors.

Then, I shall have to come with you.

I can't prevent you but at least don't appear to be with me.

If you must follow, must you follow so close?

Listen.

Ah, ah.

Follow!

You mustn't be afraid.

It pays to be careful.

Ah-ha-ha! Violent boyfriend.

Is she dead?

Hmm?

- Dead. - Oh.

Any-any blood?

- Blood? - Blood, blood.

- 'No.' - Oh.

- Just a book. - Hm.

"ABC," the initials of the blonde. ABC!

But..

Well, you've taken your time getting here.

You can thank Mr. Poirot for this. There's your murderer.

'This is Inspector Japp of Scotland Yard.'

I've talked to your ambassador, sir.

- Aw, how is he? - Oh, very well, sir.

I'd like to apologize for this misunderstanding, sir.

I got the name as "Parot."

Of course, if I'd realized it was Purot.

- Poirot. - Yes, that's right.

Yeah, well, never mind all that now.

- Did you telephone my wife? - Oh, yes, sir.

She says she's looking forward to having you home again.

- Inspector! - Oh. Yes, sir.

Now, so, this blond young woman, so this nutcase, sir..

Actually, I said her manner was rather strange, did I not?

Yes, sir, yes.

You say you've seen her on just those two occasions, sir.

Yes. Try that trouser pocket, man.

Oh, yes.

She didn't happen to threaten you

with an air gun, sir?

- Air gun? - 'Yes.'

That's how she was killed, a poison dart to the neck

fired from a high velocity air pistol.

And don't you know it was not a blow gun?

- Ah.. - Congratulations.

Now, you've seen this blonde only on these two occasions?

To repeat myself, yes.

- There. - Thank you.

- And you, sir? - To repeat myself, once.

Give me the key, I'll manage.

You know, it's funny she never

tried this air gun lark on you, sir.

I mean, that seems her modus operandi.

I mean, there was this water clown and now this one.

Same fatal death, sir.

Yes, that man's name

was Albert Arken, AA.

The initials of my strange blonde, A-B-C.

Her first victim, AA.

Her second, BB.

Her third..

CC.

'She thinks she's going right through the'

'alphabet, inspector.'

All finished here, sir.

Yeah. Alright, sergeant. Carry on.

How do you explain this calling card?

A nutcase.

Could it be that someone wants to make

quite sure this girl, ABC is blamed?

'No, no. You saw for yourself, she attacked you.'

You jumped to that conclusion.

No, no, I didn't. You did.

Oh, come, we're splitting ears.

As the good inspector said

she could easily have used her air gun on me, twice.

Why did she not? My little gray cells answered.

Maybe, she did not want Poirot's life.

Maybe, what she wanted was Poirot's help.

Well, sir, all the help she may want, she can get from us.

- From you? - The police.

'In the meantime, I'd be glad if you'

'and the captain would accompany me'

'to the police station and write'

'out your statements, sir.'

And, of course, any theories you may have--

Statements? Theories? There is no time.

Afterwards, I will be glad to provide you

with a motorcycle escort to London airport.

Oh, that's very kind of him, isn't it?

- 'Thank you, inspector.' - 'The pleasure is mine.'

Where is the bathroom?

Why? Oh..

- You better go with him, sir. - No, I'm alr..

Oh, I see what you mean. Yes.

- Through there, sir. - Thank you, I'll come.

As you wish. A thought for you to conjure with, inspector.

Who is CC?

'Help!'

It came from the most beautiful head in Europe.

- What? - I used it to pick your lock.

Shh!

My wife.

Oh, well.. No, no.

You come here to make trouble for me

about Betty, haven't you?

I'm in the position to ask questions, not you.

Who is ABC?

I thought last night you knew about her.

And I thought last night you knew about her. No?

I tried to pick her up a few weeks ago.

Betty was giving me the runaround

I wanted to make her jealous.

I did.

It's very important you tell me about this girl.

What, her?

No.

Betty.

- No. - 'Oh.'

ABC.

Well, she gave me the brush off.

I don't know anymore about her

than than the initials on her handbag.

You want to talk to Dr. Doncaster, not me.

Doncaster?

Some headshrinker she's been going around with.

You don't seem to like him very much.

He's after Betty too.

Well, why don't you go and bother him?

You're obviously potty, so he'd be fascinated.

- I think we will meet again. - I hope so.

Then I shall be able to break your neck, won't I?

Excuse me, madam.

'Oh!'

Ah, you have a death wish, I see.

Ah, Dr. Doncaster, your secretary

told me I'd find you here.

- 'Did she indeed?' - 'Yes.'

Speaking of a death wish

do the initials ABC mean anything to you?

- Should they? - Or the name, Betty Barnard.

Can't we have him arrested?

Well, it seems we're acquainted.

One of your patients, obviously.

Not a patient exactly, no.

No. Although it's true, madam

I would like to discuss with Dr. Doncaster

'what I have on my mind.'

In Rotten Row?

That depends on the good doctor, doesn't it?

Uh, yes. Well, shall we say at my office in an hour.

I don't think we should say anything of the sort, darling.

Because in an hour, you'll be somewhere with me.

Yes, of course. I..

I'm afraid, I shan't be free until six o'clock.

Very well. Six sharp.

Where have I seen her before?

Where was it?

'Monsieur Poirot.'

'Monsieur Poirot.'

You were looking for me last night, weren't you?

And I found you. You remember.

Not exactly. I did tell you about AA, didn't I?

Yes, you did.

And now you're going to tell me about BB, hm?

- Oh, please. - Don't do that.

Let's talk. BB is dead.

'Who killed her?'

- Do you want my balloons? - Yes.

Then I'll have your funny hat.

Alo!

Pull.

Now, let's gather around.

I propose to assume the girl

'is still somewhere in this area, here.'

'Now, I propose to divide it into convenient sections'

'and allot one car and two of you to each section, you see.'

'Now, Jenkins..'

Yes, Sir Edward. I mean, Sir X.

'And, uh, Roberts, I think, you take this area here.'

I quite agree, sir, it's not

in the best tradition of the service.

'Smith and Hodgeson, this area, there.'

I don't regard him as being lost.

I regard him as being temporarily mislaid.

'Bachmann and Arbeid, this area to the left side.'

- 'Alright, sir.' - 'Uh..'

Thank you, sir.

'Now, Denham and Ibbotson'

'that area down there.'

'Alright?'

Now, look here, inspector

the armed murder here and there

is neither here nor there.

X tells me that anything happens to Poirot

Her Majesty's government will have to apologize.

He's got to be found!

Yeah. Well, you look after your nutcase, captain

and I'll look after mine.

Japp.

Yes. Yes.

What?

- He's been at it again, sir. - Has he?

- Where? - Uh, where?

Hyde Park. Molesting a young woman, sir.

- Oh, my goodness-- - What? On a horse?

- You mean she was on the horse? - Uh..

Who was on the horse? Oh, he was, sir.

That's something to be thankful. Oh, well, nail him, nail him.

Alright, yeah.

Look, get me a car and two motorcycles.

I thought you've given up smoking.

This is a celebration.

Oh, really? Heh.

What are you celebrating?

I'm celebrating my first cigarette

in 51 days.

You must have one.

Oh, that's awfully nice of you.

Oh, that's very nice of you.

- We're friends, eh? - Of course.

Good. I was so hoping, you know, that if you couldn't see it from

Her Majesty's government's point of view

you would see it from mine, well, I mean

'I've got really no interest in this matter'

except just to get home

explain things to my wife.

- 'Get a shave.' - Hm.

Get these boots off

and get some sleep.

Hm. Yes, of course.

Well, I mean, you got some sleep last night.

Hm, a little in the cell. Yes.

All that yogi stuff, upside down.

You slept like a bat.

Yes, I suppose I did.

I say..

...these cigarettes are ripping.

Where did you get them?

- I make them myself. - Really? Oh!

Fancy.

You know..

...I've always wanted..

...to make my own cigarettes-s-s.

Was the question of getting the right filter.

- Miss Sparks. - Yes, doctor.

I know I have another appointment

tonight but you needn't wait. Goodnight.

I could work late again.

'Are you absolutely certain?'

'I mean, are you quite sure, you--'

Quite, quite sure.

Yes, doctor.

'Doctor, it is exactly 6 o'clock.'

Good evening.

I suppose your business is blackmail.

My business is justice. I am Poirot.

I am not interested in your name.

Only in what you're up..

- Poirot? - Hercule Poirot, please.

Yes, of course. It does look rather ridiculous, doesn't it?

- Won't you.. - Doctor..

Betty Barnard is dead.

Shock tactics, eh, Monsieur Poirot?

I'm sorry to disappoint you.

It was in the evening papers.

'You're an intimate friend of hers, of course.'

Of course.

'No tears, doctor?'

No tears, Monsieur Poirot.

She was an experiment.

An experiment?

A near perfect specimen of the, uh

primitive aggressive female acquisitive personality.

In lay language, a gold-digger.

I see.

Women and their mental processes are my work.

- Interesting work. - I enjoy it.

Is that all?

Who is ABC?

ABC.

Blonde, beautiful

very tall.

You're speaking of Amanda, of course.

Amanda! Amanda, who?

- Amanda Beatrice Cross. - ABC.

- Tell me about her. - I'm sorry.

I never discuss my patients with anyone.

Your patient, eh? You still treating her?

No, she went to Switzerland last month.

Some idea that the mountain air will be beneficial.

- Hm. - I haven't seen her since.

And what if I tell you that your former patient

asserts she's a murderess.

I'm not surprised.

That she asserts it, or that she is?

She's a certain type of schizophrenic.

Split personality.

Perhaps I can explain it in simple language.

A paranoid schizophrenic, one-half immature

one-half influenced by a system of delusions.

'Probably, delusions of persecution.'

Conscientious with their sharply developing obsessional anxiety.

Uh, quite.

'One moment homicidal'

the next, a frightened child actually.

- 'Indeed.' - Now, tell me, doctor.

Is it possible for this obsession

to take the form of a preoccupation with..

...the alphabet, ABC?

Monsieur Poirot, for you, I'm prepared to break a rule.

Please, sit down.

'Listen.'

'A, B, C.'

'A-A, B-B.'

'B...B'

'A, B, C.'

'A-A'

'B-B.'

'I injected her with a so called truth drug.'

I use it sometimes to break down inhibitions.

- But is that all? - 'Yes.'

She proved 90% Pentothal resistant.

What she said there was its only effect.

But at least it crystallized her obsession.

So that people with initials AA, BB and CC and so on

would be the natural targets for her homicidal drive, eh?

- Obviously. - Hmm.

Tell me, doctor

is it possible for such a person to be dominated?

- Dominated? - Used as an instrument.

Either for murder itself

or a cover for murder?

It would make a fascinating experiment.

Thank you vey much, doctor.

We shall resume this consultation at a future date.

- Amanda! - Hide me. Please, hide me.

Amanda, you must go out the way you came in.

No. Please, no.

Go out the way you came in!

I'll do anything.

Anything, anything.

Oh.

If you don't mind my saying so, captain, your appearance

is getting a little embarrassing even for the secret service.

A wash and brush-up wouldn't hurt.

Yes, well, it's only a suggestion.

- Look, there he is! - Well, stop him!

'Mr. Bat-- Come back!'

- Drive. Drive. - I'm very sorry, sir.

- This is a police car, sir. - Police?

Taxi! Taxi!

Drive. Drive.

Come back, Poirot!

'"Sir Carmichael Clarke."'

'Oh, that will be the famous ship owner.'

'Carmichael..'

Carmichael Clarke, CC.

- CC. - Oui, oui, to you, monsieur.

- Where you going? - Ah!

Uh, "6 Darlington Square" and hurry.

"6 Darlington Square." Are you sure?

Yes, of course..

No. We must go to The Dorchester, I must change.

Are you suggesting that this young woman

is going about London killing people

and that she now proposes to butcher me?

Yes.

Simply because my initials are CC?

Yes.

What you need, sir, is a sherry.

- Thank you, sir. - I'm sorry, Monsieur Poirot.

What you are saying is sheer nonsense.

The police at least don't think so.

In fact, I imagine, they'll be

at this home very shortly.

The police here, why?

To protect you.

Sir Carmichael.

Diane, may I remind you that we are expecting

a guest for dinner.

Oh, Judson, some men may be calling shortly.

Police, send them away.

You may stay for as long as it takes you

to finish your sherry, Monsieur Poirot.

Lady Carmichael..

- Allow me. - Thank you.

You just heard our master's voice.

Lady Carmichael, hm.

- Is anything the matter? - Egyptian tobacco.

- Do have one. - No.

I mean, no, thank you. I've given them up.

- Poor man. - Lady Carmichael..

I'm sure you can persuade your husband

to take this matter seriously.

- Really? - Yes, of course.

Monsieur Poirot, in certain moods

no one can persuade my husband of anything.

Not even me. Believe it or not.

My step.. My stepbrother lives

in a square world of his own, Mr. Poirot.

For instance, he still thinks I'm too young to drink.

Most people are.

I must say that he's taking this whole affair

with remarkable coolness and so are you.

Seriously, old Clark has been monotonously right.

For instance, if there's anything wrong with Amanda

she certainly won't do us any harm.

As long as it takes you to drink your sherry

the master said.

Strange family.

Ah! No, no.

Backdoor.

Go away.

I want a word with Sir Carmichael Clarke.

Sir Carmichael Clarke does not want a word with you.

Alright, captain, we'll return to the square.

If you'll be kind enough to observe the premises

I'll procure a search warrant.

It's alright, Judson.

Very well, madam.

- Diane-- - Shh!

- Look, something came up-- - Oh, never mind.

I've missed you.

Oh, congratulations.

W-why are you still here?

I was told I could finish my sherry.

Well, I never like to see a man drinking alone.

Why don't we join him, Diane?

Well, we are civilized, eh?

'Tell me, doctor, how did you get along'

'with my friend Inspector Japp?'

Oh, a plain closed case

of retarded development I should say.

But not as interesting as the chap who was with him.

A sort of tramp in a bowler hat.

Oh, yes. They are inseparable.

I put it to them, Monsieur Poirot

as I put it to you. Thank you.

This girl is lost, distracted.

- You've seen her? - No. No, no.

But that's how I imagine she must be by now.

Anyhow, I feel that any shock

'such as a clumsy attempt to arrest her'

'might well send her right over the edge into suicide.'

'Oh, poor Amanda.'

'I offered my full cooperation to Inspector Japp'

but I might as well have been talking to a trained chimpanzee.

Yes. Did you also offer your full cooperation

in the case of Betty Barnard?

- I explained about her, yes. - Yeah.

May I, may I have my lighter? Thank you.

Did you also explain that you and Miss Barnard were friends?

Actually more than that.

Duncan!

Duncan?

Doncaster?

DD?

'Congratulations, sir.'

Car, eavesdropping?

My wife is never jealous of me.

How very interesting.

The cheater cheated. The deceiver deceived.

You're taking a long time over your sherry.

It-it-it's such a large glass.

Didn't think I knew about it, did you?

Sneak out in the middle of the night.

Back before the old fool wakes. So clever.

I presume you have some grants

for these allegations, Sir Carmichael?

Grants?

Certainly.

The word of a gentleman but you so obviously are not so.

I happened to be passing, sir.

Ask Mr. Franklin to come here, please.

So it was Franklin.

- Mr. Franklin is out, sir. - Out where?

Well, he said he was going to the Belfry, sir.

- The Belfry? - A gaming club!

Your precious stepbrother's practically bought the place.

- With your money. - I don't believe you.

Go and see for yourself!

- I'll be dining alone, Judson. - Very well, sir.

I shall require a taxi at 9 o'clock.

Well, I suppose I won't finish my sherry.

Will you excuse me? Madame...doctor.

Hold on. Hold on.

'I'm coming. I'm coming.'

Sir, please excuse me.

Thank you.

Sir Carmichael. Sir Carmichael.

'Excuse me. Excuse me.'

- 'Sir Carmichael.' - Please leave me alone.

- Please listen to me, sir. - Stand up. I wanna talk to you.

'Sir, believe me, your life is in danger.'

- I have some questions. - Your life is in danger

Ah!

That's him running away. He did it! He did it!

Ah!

Oh!

- Ah! - I've got you!

ABC, I've got you.

Help. I've got the murderer.

Help me! Help me!

No! Not me!

No, you fools!

You fools, not me! No!

Don't you at least wish to know my thinking on this case?

Every policeman in London is looking for ABC, yes?

Well, she's not only remarkably beautiful and remarkably blonde

she's about six feet tall.

'Does not something strike you?'

But of course, why haven't you caught her?

'Precisely.'

Someone must be arboring her.

Arboring her?

- Arboring her. - Harboring her. That's right.

I asked myself, who?

My little gray cells replied

"Probably, Doctor Doncaster."

Call him, tell him ABC has been spotted

and your men are closing in.

- Then, if I am right.. - He'll go to her.

Exactly.

Really, it's so simple, it's childish.

And that's all it is, childish.

What kind of a nut is gonna harbor a nut

who's already killed three times?

Oh!

Oh, so sorry. Oh.

I trust you'll allow me to accept defeat with dignity.

I don't relish this, this bum's rush.

No, no, of course not. Alright, inspector.

I'll take it from here. Come along.

Oh! Come on, boys.

I must say, you're taking this extremely well.

- Just like an Englishman. - Oh, you flatter me.

- Not at all. I mean it. - Thank you.

- Not at all. - Thank you.

- Allow me. - Oh, thank you.

'Help! Help!'

I believe there's a man locked in there. You must find a key.

'Help!'

To town.

This hairpin came from the head

of the most difficult woman in England

my wife's.

Hastings, I'm beginning to think I've underestimated you.

Shall we return?

- Too much trouble. - Really?

If I put you on a plane, you'll only come back on the next.

Oh, yes.

You're determined not to go home until you've solve the case.

Yes.

Very well, then, I shall speed things up.

I've decided to help you. Proceed, driver.

What are you going to do?

Well, I shall ring Doctor Doncaster

impersonate Inspector Japp--

- You? - Of course.

It's easy.

'Allo. Dr. Doncaster?

This is Inspector Japp.

Well, you'll be very wise to tell him that.

- This is Dr. Doncaster. - 'Hello.'

'This is Inspector Japp here, sir.'

I think we may be able to use your help after all, sir.

We've just spotted the young lady.

- 'Spotted her?' - Uh, spotted, sir.

We're hoping to pick her up at any moment.

'So, if you'll just hold yourself available, sir--'

Where did you find her?

No, I'm afraid I can't tell you any more

just at the moment, goodbye.

Well, what did you think of that?

Very good.

I could have done that.

Got to remember the number of the car.

- Yes. - H-M-X 1-3-B. H-M-X 1-3-B.

- H-M-B-1-3-X. - H-M-B-1-3-X.

- 'Ah!' - 'H-M-X 1-3-B.'

That's right. I forgot to tell you.

It's a big white American car.

Shh! Open the boot.

In!

Oh, I really don't think I should care for that.

That's usually for the luggage.

Did you wish to work with Poirot? In.

Huh? Oh, what have you done?

- What is it now? - We're working together, yes?

- Well, where are we? - Shh!

He went that way.

Phew.

Well, wait. My foot's stuck.

My foot's stuck!

Oh.

Oh, hello there.

Would you mind coming over here?

'Oh.'

'Could you come a bit closer?'

Oh.

I wonder if I might trespass on your kindness.

I-I can't get out. It's my foot, you see?

- It's got caught somehow. - Oh..

Has your little foot got caught?

- That's right. - Has it? Oh..

- Ow! - Oh, it's got caught.

Oh. I'll have to unlace your shoes.

Hold on.

Good evening.

Goodnight.

Oh, there you are, Mr. Poirot.

Yes.

And not back home in Brussels.

No.

- Might I enquire-- - Is he dead?

- Oh, yes, very much. - Oh. Oh.

- Hmm. - Steady on. Steady.

Here, sit down.

Thank you, thank you.

- Poison dart, I suppose, huh? - 'Yeah, in the neck.'

- Hm. Yeah. - And the usual, of course.

The girl! She was here.

Well, she's not here now, but we'll find her.

- But who hit Poirot? - Ah, let's have him in.

Alright, you.

Ah-ha!

- He admits to clobbering you. - Does he?

- 'Made a complete statement.' - 'Did he?'

Boiled down, he thought Doncaster had killed

his girlfriend, Betty Barnard.

- He was following the doctor. - Was he?

- You were in the way. - I was. Ha.

When he got to the cabin, Doncaster was dead

and the girl gone.

We're not holding him for the killing.

We know who did that, don't we?

- Do we? - Hm.

But no doubt, you'll want to press a charge

'of assault and battery.'

- I will? No. - Eh?

- It's not.. - Hm?

It's not in the public interest.

Oh, what isn't?

For it to become known among the criminal classes

that Poirot can be hit over the head.

Very well. See him off.

Call yourself a copper. Heh.

I'm not a copper.

Well now, ahem, the deceased appears

'to have been harboring this young woman.'

Yes. Well, any, um..

Thank you. Any, what you would call, clues, inspector?

Clues appertain to mysteries, Mr. Poirot.

- There is no mystery here. - Hm. Lipstick.

Egyptian cigarette.

So that's what the girl smokes.

Yes, and so does Lady Diane Clarke.

Very interesting, I'm sure.

Where is Hastings?

Well, we might introduce ourselves.

My name's Hastings. Captain Hastings.

Ministry of Agriculture and--

Connie, phone Victoria, 1-9-9-2.

Hah. How do you do? I must make a note of that.

Hastings! Hastings!

Hastings?

Hastings, it's Poirot. I'll get you out.

Oh! Ah..

What are you doing, if I may ask?

My foot stuck and the lock, must've jammed.

Oh, really?

- We found the girl, sir. - Oh.

Oh!

My dear young la..

- That's her! Stop her. - Right, I want nets.

Yes, sir.

'Right, you and you get up there after her.'

- See if you can talk her down. - No, no, no, please.

If she sees someone coming, she will jump.

Well, she'll probably do that anyway.

'Hurry up with those nets.'

Oh, but if she really did come to me for help?

Are you still on about that? Go on. Get up there.

If only I could talk to her.

Now, look, Mr. Poirot

either they go up or you go up.

Hold my cane, please.

You will hurry those nets, huh?

Uh, bring those nets!

Amanda.

Amanda, please come down.

If you come down, I can assist you.

Amanda, please.

You asked for my help before, I want to help you all I can.

'I know you're not to blame. It's not your fault.'

'Amanda!'

I'm your friend!

I know you're not responsible.

'It will be alright. I promise.'

Amanda.

I want you to come down.

Too late. It's too late.

'No, it's not too late.'

'No.'

'No, Amanda!'

No!

Please. No, don't.

Don't jump. Please, don't jump.

Let me try it.

Oh, it's really excellent.

'You mustn't travel on an empty stomach, you know?'

Are you sure? Well, here goes.

It's wonderful how they get this stuff up, you know.

It's nothing but a load of old--

- Oh, there you are. - X!

Not in public, dear chap.

Sir Edward, please.

How are you, Hercule?

Teddy. Teddy! My old friend, good to see you.

- Sit down. - Ah, thank you.

Oh!

Oh, sorry.

Well, I just thought I'd drop in

and wish you bon voyage, Hercule.

Pity the way things turned out from your point of view, I mean.

Well, of course, it was an open and shut case all along.

Curious, you couldn't see that.

'I often feel you continental chaps are just'

'a little bit too fanciful for your own good.'

Hm, Gaelic temperament, I suppose.

- Aye, Hastings? - Oh, yeah, yes.

Extraordinary mixed bag, wasn't it?

I mean a water clown

'a bowling alley instructress'

a ship owner and a psychiatrist.

Hm, no rhyme or reason in it.

Still the poor thing was quite mad.

Better off where she is, I suppose. Bottom of the river.

Oh, well, that's life.

Ah, what have we here? Kidneys?

I should've thought red herrings

are more in your line, eh, Hercule?

Red herring. Red herring, of course!

- What? - Kill four to kill one.

- Teddy, old friend, I'm sorry. - Hercule, sit down.

You still have your health, Hercule.

'The government wants to keep it that way.'

In one hour from now, my private plane

'will be taking you home to Brussels.'

Teddy, Teddy, my dear old--

You are dealing with me this time.

- Not him. - Teddy. Please, believe me.

Uh.. I say, hadn't I better make the sauce

for the jolly old rognone.

- Teddy, Teddy, please-- - Sauce for the kidneys.

Yes.

Well, yes. By Jove, I believe, I can help you there.

Ah, the kidneys. Yes, now, first the sauce.

- The sauce. - Lots and lots of sauce.

Now, what have we here?

The brandy.

Give it a good tot.

No. A bit more in there.

Yes. Alright, now ready?

- Yes, indeed. - Alright, we pour it in.

Move back.

Voila.

- Please close the door at once. - Ah, the foreign gentleman.

I wish to speak to Mr. Franklin Clark.

I'm afraid Mr. Franklin is out, sir.

Very well, then. Lady Diane.

I'm afraid she's also out, sir.

Phew. Where are they?

They will shortly be on their way to Scotland, sir.

The 532 from King's Cross.

- Scotland? - For the funeral, sir.

Mr. Franklin and Lady Diane are taking my late employer

aboard one of his ships at Greenock.

The burial, you understand, is to be at sea.

'Afterwards, sir, Mr. Franklin and Lady Diane are proceeding'

in the same vessel on a sunshine cruise

of the South Americas to recover from what they describe

as the strain of the past few days.

Ah, I see.

Come, get up.

I say, must we go on rushing around like this?

I'm really feeling a bit queasy.

Is it my imagination or is it rather warm in here?

Mr. Franklin turned up the central heating

before leaving and instructed that it remained so, sir.

- It is somewhat warm. - Good, then I'm alright.

Turn up the central heating?

Hmm.

Hastings, don't stand there like a monument.

Where have you been? What have you been doing?

Arranging a little extra insurance, my friend.

Oh, really, personally, I always feel

perfectly safe with British Railways.

Mind you, it's very different in France, isn't it?

I wouldn't know. I'm not French. I'm Belgian.

Well, it's the same thing. You both eat horse meat.

Oh. No offence, old man.

Ha. After all, it's you and I now, isn't it?

Against the world. Hah.

'Come in.'

- Well. - Well?

I think we deserve a little drink, don't you?

Napoleon Brandy

I've been keeping it for a special occasion.

What shall we drink to?

To our good fortune, don't you think?

Mind you, I feel sorry in a way.

Oh?

But I feel grateful to old Car

for being so...rich.

I'm grateful to you.

Hm.

Oh.

Is anything the matter, Diane?

I don't know. Suddenly I feel dizzy.

Really?

Franklin, what's happening?

Franklin, it's the drink.

You.. Oh!

Oh.

It's quite alright, my darling.

I've just put you to sleep for the moment.

- Can I help you, honey? - I can manage.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Control yourself, madam. I'm not stopping, madam.

- Thank you. - Poirot.

Of course.

I think you owe me an explanation.

Very well, I believe

you're now considerably richer than you were, ah?

If you're referring to my expectations

on the death of my stepbrother, yes, I am, but..

But? But? But?

Well, she'll inherit just as much as I--

Oh, yes, yes, I do know that, of course.

Ah, we were just, um

coming in here to see if everything was alright.

Uh-huh?

- And then she passed out. - Oh.

Assisted by a few grains of barbiturate

dissolved in brandy, eh?

Napoleon brandy, actually.

To resume.

I agree that Lady Diane also has the motive.

Motive? Motive for what?

For killing four people to kill one.

And thus, inherit a fortune.

I.. I'm afraid you're far ahead of me.

I ask myself

why should someone kill four times

and make it look like the work of a maniac?

My little gray cells answer

because there was an obvious motive

to kill just one of them.

So obvious, in fact

that even our friend, Inspector Japp

'would be on to it at once'

unless there were enough red herrings.

I've killed no one.

Neither my stepbrother, nor anybody else.

Oh, I know that. I know that you are no killer.

You see, the real killer killed just once too often.

Don't you agree?

You mean when I killed myself?

It grieves me to admit it did not occur to me at the time

but then everything began to fall into place.

What if, when you went to Switzerland

it was not for your health

but to contact AA?

'What if he taught you his diving tricks?'

How to fall from a great height into the water

and survive?

Yes?

Yes.

You are very clever

Monsieur Poirot.

And so now I wonder why you have deliberately

involved Poirot in this?

Oh, baffling the great Monsieur Poirot

added spice.

'I'm sure you will understand.'

My vanity is as great as yours.

Vanity? What do you mean, vanity?

I'm not vain..

Allow me to hypothesize

what will happen now.

I will join Lady Diane in that coffin.

And together we will be buried at sea.

In place of Sir Carmichael Clarke

whose body even now, is being used to boost

the central heating of his own house.

Exactly.

'You then, will take'

the place of Lady Diane

and together with your brave chaperone..

'...sail to the South Americas'

with both halves of the fortune to come.

Exactly.

And now, Monsieur Poirot

your death will be an advantage to me

'but not, I'm afraid, to you.'

Naturally, I anticipated my little remarks

would cause some small unpleasantness.

I do hope my insurance is still in effect.

What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!

Oh, stop that, will you?

'Ow!'

'I'm coming, Poirot. Poirot!'

Hastings.

'Hold steady, old fellow'

'I'm on my way.'

- 'I'll help you.' - Hastings?

'I'm coming, we're in this together. Hold on.'

- Where are you? - I'll save you. I'm coming.

Poirot

I'll save you.

Poirot, save me!

Poirot, help! Help!

So, Hastings, dear friend, you

you're taking this like a Belgian.