Original subtitles

Welcome back to Cooked, the traveling cooking competition show in which local

chefs compete against each other in culinary challenges.

I'm your host, Hilda, and this is my brother, Gunther, and we love to eat.

Don't we, Gunther? Oh, that's right, Schwester Hilda. We also love to

deliberate, which is exactly what we did during the commercial break.

Now, while all of your meals were simply wunderbar, One of you simply has to go.

That's why it's time for the final dish.

None of you came here to make friends.

You came to be the last chef standing.

Claude, your goulash was actually ghoulish.

You know what that means.

You got cooked!

Oh. What a sad day for all of us.

But mostly for you, Claude.

Mostly for you.

Is anyone there?

Thank you.

Is the show not back on yet? No. Not too close. You don't want a sick guardian,

do you?

What is that?

My mental paste.

Helps clear the... That's you.

The cytuses.

I try to use the brand stuff, but it wasn't strong enough, so I made my own.

Go!

No magic ways to go. Oh, isn't this contraption marvelous?

Yeah, Vikram, it is awesome. Now, come on, you can still catch the end of the

show. Huh.

And what are we watching?

Oh, it is called Cooked. It is my new favorite cooking competition show. It

just came out of nowhere a few weeks back. I'm sorry, a cooking competition

show? Yeah, chefs cook off against each other to see who's got the best dish.

Kind of a guilty pleasure.

Uh, no guilt on my end. I think cooking shows are very comforting.

And who decides what food is best? Oh, it's the hosts. It's this wacky brother

-sister duo from Germany.

Bless you. The show revolves around food, but you, the viewer, cannot eat

it. It's not about that. Well, it's all about the food, then what is it about?

It's... Um... It's just... You have to watch.

Ah, how very convincing.

Your popcorn is ready. Oh, my popcorn?

Who needs a kitchen when you can have this funny little thing? This tome

denotes everything one can concoct within his walls.

Oh, it's that. And the winner of this week's episode is our reigning champion

from Slovakia, Olga Horvath.

As you know, each week we travel to a new city to find the finest chefs in all

of Europe. Next week, we'll be traveling to beautiful Belgrade, Serbia.

Cool.

Connor's latest session is going to be in Belgrade.

You can stalk the German hosts. Ask them why they got rid of lederhosen.

They really were quite fashionable.

Oh, do you guys smell that? No, I can't smell anything. My nose is as stuffed as

a Thanksgiving turkey.

Just a packet of perfectly popped popcorn.

Perfect. I'm burnt.

Oh, it's not popcorn.

It's coming from the TV.

This is so strange.

Connor, you're just hungry and you think you're smelling the lemon cakes Olga

made on the show. Oh, yeah, Jolly's right. That can happen. It can really

trigger your olfactory system.

You're just haunted by my undeniable pheromones, huh?

Oh, God.

Connor is smelling the television. He's finally losing it.

I'm not losing it. Okay, I can just...

Is it me, or was that a bit of an overreaction?

No, I shouldn't have mocked him.

Remember the buzz demon?

Oh, God.

Connor's greatest fear is that the library will drive him mad and he'll be

lost down a rabbit hole alone.

I feel terrible.

Charlie's right.

Let's give our pal the evening to chillax.

Chillax. Tomorrow we'll apologize.

I cannot wait to discover the next wonderful chef. Who will be the last

chef standing?

Oh, I cannot wait. We've been to so many wonderful cities, haven't we, Hilda? So

many, so many different dishes. Oh, it's so tight.

Yes, once we had tacos.

The tacos were very good. Does anyone else smell that?

Is that a bag of rice?

Mmm!

I microwaved it.

Okay. How's the dissection coming along, hmm? We must uncover the secret of the

mystery sent for Connor post-haste, so he knows that we are taking him

seriously. I have taken apart the entire television, and there's nothing out of

the ordinary. I've even scanned it with the app, and nothing.

Have you ever heard of a magic television?

Lysa, you may recall I hail from the 1800s.

Every television is magical to me.

Aphrodite was said to have an intoxicating scent.

As some deities were drawn to the mortal realm using incense. Plus, I found a ton

of articles talking about the science of smell. Yeah, it's complicated.

Smell is linked to emotion.

Our olfactory system travels directly through the areas of the brain that

process memories.

And eating is also connected to smell. Yeah, the complex flavors we taste are

actually possible because of smell.

Could the magic be coming directly from the show itself?

But that doesn't explain why only Connor could smell it.

They did say the next episode was filming in Belgrade.

The Bellbrite studio stages.

They must be filming there today.

Well, that confirms it, then.

There is something magical afoot at that studio.

We shall solve the smell conundrum by suppertime.

And surprise him.

Wonderful to see the can-can is still going strong.

Sure.

Ah, hello.

Well, why don't we get inside?

You work on the show?

Yes, we absolutely do.

Where? Wardrobe?

Sound? No.

We are the librarians.

You should have said, here.

Amazing. This way, everyone.

Smashing my good man.

Our next guest here is all the way from Belgrade, goes by one name and loves

bolognese. Please welcome Alex.

And our final contestant joining us for this scrumptious episode is

the delectable Connor Green.

We certainly hope you don't get cooked, Connor.

What?

Four amateur chefs making delicious food just for us.

That's right, Hilda.

Which chef will be cooked first?

Join us after the break for challenge number one.

I can't wait to slurp some soups.

And cut.

Let's move on.

And move this light, please.

We'll begin hair and makeup. Fetch us when you're ready. Okay, guide, position

two. Move, move.

You have five minutes to prep your station, okay?

Five minutes, everybody, to prep your station.

Connor, what are you doing? Guys! No, no, no, Light. It is a brilliant plan.

Connor has infiltrated the show to get more information from the inside.

So what's our next move?

Guys, I blacked out.

What do you mean you blacked out? I mean, I have no idea how I got here.

One minute I was getting coffee, then I smelled that smell again during a

commercial for the show.

Next minute I'm here.

So it wasn't the television, it was the TV show.

Oh. You believe me now?

Let's not play the game of blame.

Let's get to the bottom of things.

Connor, come with me. We shall be... No, Vikram.

Who's staying here? Connor, you blacked out and mysteriously ended up being a

contestant on a magical cooking show. You can't just go through with it. I

have to go through with it.

Magic brought me here for a reason.

I need to figure out what their reason is.

The answer is here.

Food is the key.

I need to cook.

I don't like that.

Something's off.

Connor can handle it. You continue with filming the show.

Let's get up to investigate.

Yeah. Good luck. Come on.

Do you really think we should learn how to move if it comes right? We don't want

a repeat of what happened with the TV, do we?

Indeed.

Do not fear. We shall remain close by.

Now, I wish to speak to this other contestant, Olga.

She has been winning this competition every week.

We'll poke around the other contestants' dressing rooms.

See what we can find.

Miss Olga.

Just the acclaimed culinary connoisseur I was looking for.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm just a simple woman who loves to cook. Oh, no. Nothing

simple about you, my dear. Oh, your work on this televised tournament of taste

has been terrifyingly terrific.

Who are you?

Me? Well, I... He's an agent.

For chefs.

I didn't know chefs had agents.

Yeah, he's the best of the best.

He can get you cooking in any kitchen in the world.

Yes, it's true. All the top restaurants, such as Giant

Light in Rome, and Mixer in Barcelona, and

Butter. Of course, you've heard of butter, right?

No. Exactly.

Yes, so tell me, what's your secret? How do you keep winning?

No secret. I just love to cook.

Did you study the arts, culinary, or other ones?

No. All that I know, I learned from my grandmother.

I worked in her bakery when I was younger. Yes, it's very nice. But what

drew you to be a contestant on this show? I just saw the advertisement.

They're coming to my town.

Advertisement? No strange smell?

Just the sweet smell of success.

And what about this ancient-looking receptacle? Where did this come from?

Guys, to the other stage. We are back.

Okay, last two contestants' rooms are on a wash.

Let's try contestant number three.

Hmm, where would one hide a magical artifact?

Earth to Charlie.

I'm... I'm sorry, um... What were we doing?

Searching Olga's dressing room. You okay?

Olga? Yeah, you know, she's won five weeks in a row. She certainly made

herself at home.

Did you?

Olga.

And you're Liza.

And you have a cold.

Yeah, and you won't seem to let me forget it.

You okay?

Won't ever make you sick. Is it the brain fog?

No, no, no. I'm fine.

That's fine.

Okay.

We just have to be quick before she returns.

Are you okay?

Huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

Never better.

What are we even looking for?

What kind of artifact would... Liza?

Yeah?

Oh, that kind of artifact.

We have ticked and tucked down to the final wire.

Gunther, our first course is ready.

Which contestant will bowl us over with their amazing soup?

Alex, speed up. This is my family recipe for leek soup.

Pays down for generations.

Generations, plural. So not just mama's soup.

Ah, good.

It seems our returning champion, Olga, owns a cauldron.

Interesting.

Look what we found in a dressing room. Yeah, doesn't exactly look like a first

edition Julia Child, does it?

Soup of loneliness.

Haggis of heartbreak.

Stroganoff of self-loathing.

Moussaka of misery.

I knew it.

Oh, this is my worst nightmare.

We are dealing with another witch.

Alex, your leek soup tasted more like eek soup.

It gives us no pleasure to say this, but Alex, you got hooked!

Oh, why does it have to be a witch, a kraken that I can handle, a chupacabra,

a cakewalk? One time, there was an equatious troll that had been deviously

discombobulated with his impossible riddles. But even that, even that could

not compare to the absolute depravity, the unwavering guile, the abject terror

of witchcraft. Okay, well, we're...

If Olga is doing any depravity, she might just be, you know, trying to win a

cooking show by cheating. But why would a witch use magic to win a cooking show?

Trust me, if a witch is involved, Malfeasance is at play. We must deduce

what kind of witch Olga is and from there figure out her plan.

That's a cut.

Hilda and Gunther to hair and makeup.

We're back in 30.

Most importantly, we need to free Connor and the others from whatever magic is

affecting them. Indeed, we must quell the smell spell.

Why do witches always make you rhyme?

Connor!

Hey, how's it going?

Hey.

Sorry, who are you?

What? I'm Lisa. This is... What's happening?

Lisa. Vic. Charlie.

Oh, my God. Of course.

I don't know why it came over me.

What is going on?

Charlie, you distract the hosts.

Lysa, you sneak into their office and see what information you can find on

Olga. As for I, I shall look after our intrepid chef.

Go. You are alone on an island.

What sandwich would you bring?

Brezel sandwich.

Brezel sandwich? Brezel sandwich.

What a curveball. I love that. Do you know what I would bring? A sausage

biscuit. I had one in North Carolina one time.

Absolutely. So delicious.

Hi.

I'm Charlotte.

Charlotte, with Belgrade Women in Media.

We're an online entertainment blog for women.

And you're here to interview us?

Mm-hmm.

We're two humble Bavarian bakers who now get powdered and print for television.

Isn't this wunderbar, Hilda?

Wunderbar, Gunther.

Wunderbar.

So, great show.

Love you guys.

Love what you're doing with all the... cooking.

Oh, Dankeschön. We so appreciate the art of cooking. But don't forget the eating.

Of course, the eating. All for us.

I wanted to ask you about Olga.

Olga.

She's so special.

I'd love to know what makes her food so great.

Oh, her cooking is just...

It's like nothing we've ever tasted before.

And what's she like?

Off-camera, I mean.

Oh, she's just a darling.

Although quite competitive.

She keeps winning, the ratings go up, and the other contestants are lining up

trying to take her down. Who knows? Maybe she'll even get her own spin-off.

Or perhaps a movie.

More food for us? Exactly, yes.

So, has your cooking led you to figure out what the smell is yet?

It's not just about a smell.

When it first hit me, when it first came through the TV, it stirred something

inside of me. Some emotion that I can't quite place.

It made me lash out. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to apologize.

We understand.

I'm not sure you do, Vic.

When you guys started making fun of me, it was just like being back at the

university.

You think I didn't notice all the sidelong glances?

and giggles when I'd mention the occult or cryptids or the library.

I lost my whole career.

My life.

Those people wouldn't take me seriously.

That must have been hard.

I spent so long trying to prove myself to other people.

I was worried I had to do it all over again with you guys.

I mean, he just wrote the whole thing off as another silly obsession.

Connor losing his mind over it.

I felt this.

Dismissed? Dismissed.

Cooked, cast and crew, return to set.

I gotta get back.

Okay, Olga, Olga, Olga, where are you?

Okay, Olga, no kids, works at a garden shop.

I'm from Slovakia.

In for five episodes.

Richard Burns.

Ah.

Claude Stetson, where are you?

We are back.

Stand by, everybody.

An excellent spot to keep an eye on our culinary captive.

Spoke to Gunther and Hilda. Seems like they're thinking of a spin-off show

starring Olga. And they said her cooking was magic.

Interesting. It appears Olga has some kind of hold over them. I also spoke to

Alex and Kat, the other contestants.

They were both lured here by some strange smell coming from their TV.

Oh.

So Connor is not the only one who is affected. That is some sort of relief.

But I am still concerned.

I spoke with him and it was most distressing.

I had no idea... No idea about what?

I'm sorry.

What was I saying?

I lost the door. They'll confound it.

We are no closer to finding a way to repel this male spell.

Olga's book.

Maybe there's an answer in there.

Excellent thinking.

A German isn't as good as it used to be, but let's see.

The spice, the scent, the lure.

A witch using a smell spell to lure people in.

Sounds like something out of Hansel and Gretel.

Gingerbread. Oh, Charlie, I think you've hit the head of the nail. This, this is

the gingerbread spell.

The Hansel and Gretel of whom you speak are no storybook siblings.

No, this is the tale of the kitchen witch.

A very real witch who would lure you to her gingerbread home with magic so that

she could cook and eat them.

So, Olga's the kitchen witch? The very witch from the true tall tale. The same

witch that tried to kill Hansel and Gretel all those years ago.

And has now somehow returned.

And using some kind of smell spell to keep people doing her bidding.

That's true. We need to take her down.

Now.

Agreed.

Olga! It pains us to say, but... You got cooked!

Oh, my God.

Are you guys okay?

Don't they look delicious, Gunther?

I'm simply salivating, Hilda.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

Hey, hey.

We might have a bigger problem than we thought.

Oh, I don't think that is possible. Well, when the contestants lose, they

are tricked into some kind of a holding cell, and Hilda and Gunther, they have

these, like, sharp, scary teeth, and I'm pretty sure they're going to eat them.

Well, actually, that is much worse. And we thought Ogre was the witch from

Hansel and Gretel. But apparently our jolly and good-natured hosts, Hilda and

Gunther, are actually Hansel and Gretel in Witchfall.

So they remained in the gingerbread house and took over the witch's role?

Precisely. The gingerbread spell affects a certain type of person, one who is

alone, sad, abandoned, what have you.

It targeted Hansel and Gretel because they were quite literally abandoned by

their family.

And Liza, you yourself wondered why the smell spell had not affected the rest of

the team.

See, all of us were present at the show.

But the three of us were not as present as we needed to be, not for our friend

Connor. The gingerbread spell targeted Connor because he felt abandoned by us?

Oh, God.

The spell's really doing a number on it.

And this whole thing is a ruse to eat people?

It is a powerful spell.

It makes you forget who you are and where you come from.

Your attention, everybody.

Our final elimination segment is up. Dessert. Okay, you guys grab Connor.

I'll get a fire at the magic door. Let's get out of here.

Okay, so now we just need to... Where is Connor?

Who's Connor?

What? I... I told you to grab him so we could save him from the witches.

Witches? Where?

How about thee?

Who are you calling a witch, you steampunk punk?

Okay, no one is a witch and no one is a steampunk punk.

We needed to rescue Connor.

Who's Connor?

We were just with...

Remember.

I have to get something.

Stay here.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Time for something sweet.

Dessert to the front.

I didn't realize that witches have become so adept at physical combat.

I didn't realize they had a hot topic at the rent there. Oh, I don't know what

any of that means. I can't imagine that's rare for you.

Oh, hell.

Don't hit me! Don't hit me! Don't hit me!

What is this?

Pineapple paste. A potent concoction that can clear sinuses, block out odors,

and even cure seasickness. Did you know that morticians... How come you weren't

affected?

Sinuses stuffed with mucus. Oh, please don't say mucus.

Brilliant work, Lysa.

But that gingerbread spell permeates the soundstage.

And while we and the crew are not the intended targets, it's been slowly

working its way through our systems, making us forget.

Which is why the crew didn't realize anything was wrong. Yeah, and why they

weren't concerned about the missing contestants.

We need to go back and save Connor, but we need a way to protect ourselves from

that spell. Lysa, bring that jaw. Well, about that.

You used the last of it? It's been a bad cold. I can whip up some more. It just

may take a while. We don't have a while.

Hilda and Gunther have already claimed numerous victims.

Oh, we must go back and save Connor from the Dekirth witches and dispel this

smell spell, gel or no gel.

Let's go.

That made my head hurt.

sorry, Connor. Your creme brulee was just a little bland for my taste.

Connor Green, you got cooked!

You got cooked!

That means our new champion is Kat.

Congratulations.

Go and bask in the glory of being number one. Our crew will be right in for your

post-show interview.

Hilda, can you believe after all that my tummy is still rumbling? Shall we get

washed up for supper, Hilda? Yes, Gunther. Auf Wiedersehen. See you next

time on Cooked. Guten Appetit.

And cut!

That's a wrap for today.

Supper. That means... That they plan to eat the losing contestants right here in

the studio.

What are we going to do?

We can't just grab Connor and leave.

Gunter and Hilda need to be stopped.

We need to put an end to this show for good.

How? You are all dismissed.

Dismissed. He's got the look on his face.

If it's not about the food, then what is it about?

I have it. Liza, you go get the contestants and bring them back here.

Charlie with me.

Okay. To the cookery.

What do you need?

Almond flour, butter, eggs, baking powder, and of course, salt.

Please do this as part of the plan and you're not just feeling hungry.

What are you doing?

Charlotte, you told us you were a blogger. Yeah, I lied.

From whatever you're doing, it better not take too long.

Let's get you out of here.

Oh, no, no rush. No rush at all. Come on.

Where am I?

Come on.

Who am I?

Who are you?

Connor, it's me. It's Lisa.

Lisa?

You're under a spell. The gingerbread spell, to be exact. It is making you

forget who you are.

I don't remember the word for how I feel. I'm sorry. We don't have time for

this. Just follow me, and I've got to get you out of here.

Come on, guys.

Okay, let's put that down.

Okay, let's go. Quick, quick.

Quick, quick.

Great. Okay, excuse me, excuse me. Let's get out of here.

Hey, what's going on?

Is there an after party?

Not quite. We are all in terrible danger. We have to get out of here.

Congrats on the win, by the way. If we make it out of here alive, I'll get some

of those recipes off you, okay? Quick, quick, let's go.

Oh,

that escalated quickly.

Oh, no.

Stay back.

Why are you doing this?

For centuries, we subsisted on rogue mountain climbers who roamed the hills

of Bavaria.

But then, one day, we discovered cable television.

Tell them about the...

You see, we devoured all these cooking shows and thought, we could do that.

For too long, we've been at the mercy of whatever healthy hiker wandered our way.

With our own show, we could lure in the exact person we craved.

Grief, loneliness, yummy.

Oh, we delicious.

All much better than that healthy, well-adjusted hiker. Who cares?

And now... With the gingerbread spell wafting through television, we can find

the exact flavor we so craved. That is monstrous. Yeah.

Stay back.

This is impossible.

No one can break this spell.

It is possible.

Some kind of green.

I'm a librarian.

Noah's right.

Cooking is the key to this whole ordeal.

Behold my creation.

Reveal to me my nourishment.

What is it?

Mud bread.

Another recipe made possible by the magical microwave. A mere 90 seconds.

And now, we have this.

This is what broke the spell.

I don't get it.

Food is the key.

Or more specifically, bread.

The act of breaking bread with other people leads to connection, bridges

cultures, and, most importantly, creates friendships.

When I saw you all working together to save me, I was able to break through the

spell and realize what the smell was.

The smell that lured me here and almost turned me into a late afternoon snack.

So, what was it?

The day we all met.

After we defeated the Dracovac, we went and got dinner at this Italian spot.

I don't remember the name and... The food wasn't really that good, but it

meant a lot to me to have you three. It meant everything.

It meant I finally had people who believed in me.

It was the smell of that restaurant.

It was the moment I realized I wasn't alone.

I had a family.

Yeah.

That's the real magic of food.

It's not about competition. It's not even about the meal, really.

It's about breaking bread for people who accept you.

The smell is gone.

The spell is broken.

It's all coming back to me now.

It was a smell that lured me to this show weeks ago.

Strawberries and whipped cream, my husband's favorite dessert.

He would have it every night before bed.

Entirely too often.

He's been gone for five years now.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

I'm sure he would have been proud of how well you did on this show.

Even if it was an evil plot to eat people.

Yeah, even so.

Your cauldron, madam.

Cauldron? That's a very high-end Dutch oven.

Oh, oh, I see.

A regrettable jumping to conclusions on my part. It's just that witches get me,

um, agitated.

And speaking of which, why did you have this in your dressing quarters?

I'm not very proud of that.

The pressure of winning, week after week, it just got to me. So I figured if

I can steal their recipe book, I could get some insights into their taste.

But you couldn't make heads or tails of it?

No. It turned out their taste was me.

Well, I shall leave you to your Dutch oven, as I tend to an oven of a more

spooky origin.

It appears as though they've been cooked.

I know you're not fond of any witches, but these two seemed remarkably nasty.

I'm glad they're taken care of.

That cold of yours was quite the boon. Yeah, but I'm going to be glad when I

can breathe properly again.

As am I. The mental pace has some staying power.

Smell is such a mystery, is it not? No, it isn't. It's a science, and science

saved the day once again. The gingerbread spell turns you into food by

taking away your memory.

Fine. I begrudgingly admit that your knowledge of the link between memory and

scent was rather useful.

And your obsession over the microwave was, too.

Yes, although I've moved on to the wonders of the air fryer. Oh, do you

think Elaine will allow us to get one for the annex? You know...

I don't think we have the counter space.

What are you doing? They go in the library.

What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This whole thing has been such an ordeal that I

stopped by the market on the way back and got these. Oh, my God.

Do you want one?

Oh, I'm actually off human-shaped cookies.

Ah.

Ah, vide te, na? Mm-hmm.

I hope those cookies haven't spoiled anyone's appetite.

Dinner's ready.

I've been giving it some thought, and I think I'd be a very good reality

television contestant. Oh, I don't know about that.

Of course. After all, I thrive in high-pressure environments, excellent at

strategic decision-making, and I almost always know when something is cake or

not cake.

Connor, this looks amazing.

Oh, you are kinder than my last critics?

Points. None of this is cake.

Sure? Positive.

Wait.

Food is memory.

It's your past. It's your community. It's your home.

I found my home.

And so I wanted to share a meal that has brought me comfort throughout the years.

And say thank you to the library for bringing me here.

You fought the gingerbread spell admirably, my dear friend. And you could

only do so...

By being such a good librarian.

Yeah. And we got your back no matter what happens. We've always had your

back. Since day one.

Hmm. A toast.

A farewell to the smell spell.

A spell I cannot undersell as it has no parallel.

To no more stupid rhymes.

To spending time with the people that matter.

To family.

To the library.