Original subtitles

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There they are.

I made those marks last year.

♪

Just look at it.

I knew I was right.

It's a yellow wroth.

And are you sure it's the only one of its kind in the world?

Of course.

♪

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It's got to be worth at least 100,000 pounds.

I know someone who'll pay a lot more than that.

Please don't get caught.

I'll phone you the moment I get home.

This is our crowning achievement, Madeline.

It'll flower again in 12 months' time.

Perhaps now's the time to call it a day.

You've been saying that for as long as I've known you.

But this time, I mean it.

We'd miss it, Jimmy.

It's exciting.

Madam, a taxi here.

Thank you.

♪

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Wee, wah,

♪

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try your luck, ladies and gentlemen.

Only a pound a ticket, or six for a fiver.

No, I'm sorry, ladies.

If you haven't got a zero, you haven't got a prize, OK?

Maybe next time.

Roll up, roll up, ladies and gentlemen, and try your luck.

Only a pound a ticket, or six for a player.

Six tickets.

♪

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♪

Captain, want to try your luck?

Put me down for a fiver.

Good man.

So as I get your winning tickets to the top,

remember, if you've got a nought, you've got a winner.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

-There you are. -Thank you. -Thank you.

-60. -Well, I've won, Barnaby.

-I've won. -So you have, Captain.

Let us see what you have won.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no.

Oh, the bloody tea, Cosy.

I won that thing last year.

Look, this time, be a good chap.

Pop it in with the compost, would you?

Roll up, roll up, try your luck, try your luck,

wonderful, wonderful prizes, ladies and gentlemen.

A pound a ticket.

Oh

Oh, shit.

That's the way to do it.

Thank you.

Stand by your beds.

Here they come.

Hello.

Good afternoon.

Let me introduce my research assistant, Jonathan Makepeace.

And together we'd like to congratulate the Midsummer

Malham Orchid Society for yet another magnificent display.

And I'd like to thank Munro Hilliard for hosting this

wonderful show in his perfectly elegant Malham manor.

Before we hand out the prizes, Jonathan

here has got some very exciting news for you.

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to announce

a single monkey orchid is growing again in a wood on the downs.

We need volunteers to mount a 24-hour vigil

to protect it from poachers while it's in bloom.

Your chairman, Mr. Hilliard, has offered to organize a row-town.

I'll volunteer, Mr. Hilliard.

Good show, Mrs. Maitland.

And if any more of you would care to give me your

names before the end of the day, I'd be most grateful.

Now, it's over to you, Professor Wynne-Stanley.

Well, goodness, the judging wasn't easy this year.

But the winner of best plant in show goes to...

Captain Tucker for his miniature Cymbidium.

Congratulations.

Very well earned.

Thank you, Professor.

Second prize goes to Mr. Hilliard for his Phalaenopsis Follet.

And third prize goes to Mr Plumber's Dendrobium Nobile.

It was a close-run thing, Mr. Plower.

Yeah, well, we live to show another day, don't we?

We do indeed.

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think I can speak

for all of us when I thank Professor

Winn-Stanley for giving so generously of her precious time.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

It's been a pleasure, and see you next year.

♪

♪

Poxy Third?

You mean you were beaten again by Munro Hilliard?

Pompous old twit.

Just because he owns the place, that's his right to win.

He only came second when he was gutted.

You know what I think about your bloody orchids?

Just fancy overpriced weeds.

And if you buy any more, you're going to ruin us.

Can't you grow something we can eat?

How's it going?

Still a bottle of Rioja left.

You want to try for it?

Congratulations on yet another botanical extravaganza, Mrs. Barnaby.

Oh, thank you, Miss Villiers.

Can I tempt you to the Tombola?

Pound a ticket or six for a fiver?

Yes, of course.

250?

That's a prize, isn't it?

It certainly is.

Thank you.

Eidecker's Guide to Switzerland.

Wonderfully serendipitous.

Thank you, Mr. Barnaby.

You know, I've got something at home that you would literally kill for.

Is that a fact?

You'd remortgage your manor house here

and its grounds just to get your hands on it?

The Hilliards don't have mortgages, Henry.

Excuse me.

♪

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I've done my horticultural duty for today.

I'm off to London for some excitement.

♪

You're going to ruin us, you know.

How much did that one cost?

It's priceless.

Well, don't expect me back for breakfast.

♪

Madeline!

Morning, Socrates.

Madeline, it's me, Harry.

♪

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♪

♪

Did you touch anything, Harry?

No, of course not.

I only come here to change the heater.

Look, aren't you going to cover her up or something?

Morning, sir.

Morning, sir.

This is Harry Rose.

He's the local handyman.

Builder, decorator, plumber, and electrician, if you don't mind.

Yeah, that too.

He does some odd jobs for Miss Villiers.

He found her.

Do you mind waiting outside, please?

No, of course not.

So we've got an old woman's list.

Suitcase, passport, Swiss money, cancel papers and milk, hide safe key.

Could it have been the coronary?

Well, Harry Rose called the local plod, and he called

me because he couldn't work out what these stains were.

But he thinks she might have topped herself.

She won this book on my tombola stand.

So we got something old.

Something very new.

A borrowed library book.

She had something blue.

Think she was going to Switzerland to be married?

Married?

Yeah.

And if it all fell through, well, she was jilted.

It's a reason for her to kill herself.

Oh, come and have a look at this, sir.

Hide safe key.

You think we should open it, sir?

Yes, we should.

Did you find the key?

No, sir.

Rose doesn't know where she kept it.

One of these old things, you don't need one, do you?

Really?

♪

Where'd you learn to do that?

School of hard locks.

Oh, joy.

A diary.

Hmm.

Ante diem sextum nonas maxima vulva.

My Latin's a bit rusty, Scott, but I

think this is saying something rather rude.

Ancient history?

No, no, no, no.

It's this year's diary.

This year's, this month's, this week.

She is a girl, isn't she?

She was.

Do you want to see? No, thank you, sir.

Latin wasn't on the syllabus at my local conferences.

It's safe breaking, no doubt, wasn't it?

Oh, an account book, by the looks of it.

And one not intended for inspection by the tax man.

Not with all the sums written out in Roman numerals.

Need to get this stuff translated.

George, seen the body?

Yes, I presume this is part of the crime scene as well.

No, not exactly.

Sergeant Scott has got a unique but

highly effective way of opening a locked safe.

How long has she been dead?

Certainly since last night.

So what makes you think it's anything but natural causes?

Well, we've got these stains here.

Take a statement from Rose, will you?

See if we can trace her next of kin.

George, how's your Latin?

Purely medical, I'm afraid.

You want a translator?

Brother Robert up at Midsomer Abbey, he's your best man.

The bonus is, his bees produce the best honey I've ever tasted.

Harry Rose reckons she's got no next of

kin, because she told him once she was adopted.

She was a classic teacher at Midsomer Ladies College.

Retired now, of course.

What about Rose?

He works for just about everybody in the village.

Services everybody in the village?

Yeah, that too, sir.

Brother Robert?

♪

Brother Robert.

Good morning, sir.

Morning. I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.

This is Detective Sergeant Scott.

We've come about the translation.

Oh, yes.

Translation.

They weren't stinger, young man, if you keep still.

Bless you.

Symbidium, odontiota, palaeonopsis, pephiopedilum.

These are all orchids.

An odontiota orchid was sold for 500

pounds to a CM on the 6th of September last year.

500 pounds for a flower?

Must be barking.

You'll need an expert for this.

Any suggestions?

Do you know Professor Winstanley?

My wife does.

She came to judge the flower show the other day.

Now, Brother Robert, I'm afraid this diary contains,

uh, well, lurid details of

rather robust sexual activity.

Really?

Hm.

Diae saturni, but canes in via delicias

fecimus, venum vivimus et

interum fecit.

I see what you mean.

Saturday, we satisfied ourselves like street dogs.

We drank wine and did it again and again.

Hm.

Last night, I shudder to recall he was impotent.

Tomorrow, therefore, I shall rouse him not

only with my endearments, but with a potion.

Uh, perhaps it's a little unfair, given your

calling by Robert to ask you to translate this, um, stuff.

Not at all.

Time for Vespers.

I'll let you know what progress I'm making.

Goodbye.

Thank you.

♪

I'm terribly sorry inspector.

We've had a crisis with our Strelitzias.

Well, these are beautiful, aren't they?

This collection was started by Sir Wilfrid

Hilliard, great traveler and plant collector.

The grandfather of the current president of the Midsomer Orchid Society.

I'm sure your wife must know him.

Well, I'm sure she does.

Jonathan, come and meet.

But you've met already, haven't you?

At the Malham Flower Show.

Yes.

-Morning. -Morning. -Now, I take it you

both knew Miss Madeleine Villiers?

Knew?

Yes, knew.

Oh, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings.

Miss Villiers was found dead yesterday morning.

Dead?

That's terrible.

But she was at the flower show.

Yes, she was.

She gave you three of my tombola tickets.

And it seemed to me you knew her quite well.

Well, yes, we both did.

Madeleine admired Jonathan's devotion to our orchids.

Just that?

And I also advised her on her magnificent garden.

I can't believe she's dead.

I mean, either is.

It's awful.

Sorry.

-I just... -I just have a fever.

Look, let's go into the office.

This is very kind of you, thank you.

I'm intrigued.

Goodness me.

It appears that Madeleine has been selling some of the

world's rarest orchids for considerable amounts of money.

I mean, look at this one, for example.

The Phragmipedium kavachi, that's from Peru.

It's an incredibly rare plant.

Sold on the 10th of July

to JK for lip VXC1X.

That's 5,999 pounds.

And Neophynetia falcata variegated to CP

for 50,000 pounds.

-No. -50 grand for a flower?

Rich old Japanese men collect them.

The little white flowers with amazing leaves, beautiful.

Yeah, but 50 grand?

Good God, Jonathan, look at this.

Paphiopedilum rostralianum flathum.

Flathum doesn't exist anymore.

Well, yes, it does, according to this.

Paphiopedilum, what's that?

It's a slipper orchid from pathos, meaning slipper.

It refers to the shape of the bottom petal.

A yellow roth.

I don't believe it.

Sold to HP for

150,000 pounds.

Who's HP that price it's probably

Harry Potter or Henry Plummer

♪

Henry?

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Henry?

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Henry?

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How long has he been dead, George?

More than 36 hours.

Looks like he'd been out to dinner.

Perhaps the bill didn't agree with him, sir.

♪

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Mrs. Plummer?

I know this isn't easy, but please bear with us.

Can you tell me, when did you last see your husband alive?

Around 7.30 on Saturday night.

He was going into town to see this play.

Well, some floozy actress, actually.

And where did you go, Mrs. Plummer?

Me?

I went up to London.

I got back yesterday after midnight.

Got up late, and when I saw that his bed

hadn't been slept in, I went looking for him.

Have you any idea why?

Yes.

I'll show you.

♪

When I left, this place was full of the most beautiful flowers.

Only a madman would do a thing like this.

Looks like it's been sprayed with something, sir.

Weed killer?

You think this is why your husband committed suicide?

I don't know.

But orchids were his passion.

He certainly loved them more than he loved me.

Can you think of anyone who would want to

destroy your husband's orchid collection?

I was never part of that world.

I couldn't help noticing at the flower show, you know.

It's very competitive, isn't it?

Orchid growers are jealous to the point of lunacy.

But no orchid lover would destroy the very plants they idolize.

And Henry's orchids didn't come cheap.

They certainly did not.

I have reason to believe that your husband

recently paid out 150,000 pounds for a very rare orchid.

Did you know anything about that?

150,000 pounds?

Where'd he get that kind of money from?

I don't know.

I understood he was retired.

Still, there must be considerable equity in this house.

Maybe, you know, he'd.

This was my parents' house.

The last thing I wanted to do was come back and live here.

Henry may have been ready for retirement, but I'm not.

Could he have raised a loan against him?

He may have been reckless, but not that reckless.

Mrs. Plummer, are you sure you don't know anything about this very rare orchid?

No, I don't.

But if it ever existed, it's probably perished along with the rest of them.

Will you excuse me?

♪

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What's wrong, Harry?

I didn't think it was right to tell you on the phone.

I can't make this any easier, Mr Fong.

She's dead.

Dead.

How can she be dead?

I spoke to her only last week.

I found her sitting in this chair that morning, dressed in a Greek costume.

She looked very peaceful.

Where is she now?

Oh, the police took her.

She had her backpack ready to leave with you.

They took that too.

Namo Amitabha Buddha, Buddha Namo Amitabha.

♪

♪

Who did this?

The police.

They took the books with them as well.

♪

Where's the orchid?

Well, she sold it.

How you told her to?

She was a remarkable woman, Harry.

And I know you took good care of her.

Thank you.

She was poisoned by hemlock.

Hemlock?

Carnium maculatum.

Great favorite of the Greeks.

In fact, an infusion of hemlock was used to kill Socrates in 399 BC.

Bit before my time, Mr. Bullard.

So she booked a flight to Switzerland.

Suitcase was packed.

She was about to be married.

She was looking forward to the honeymoon as well.

Pardon?

Well, I was thinking of the knickers, sir.

Of course you were.

But I agree, it's a scenario that can't include suicide, can it?

But a million quid's worth of smuggled orchids.

Now, that could be a very good reason why someone would kill her.

I tell you what I'd really like to know, George.

Is if our Mr. Plummer here really did hang himself.

I think it's time we paid a visit to the

chairman of the Midsomer Orchid Society.

We may have an orchid war on our hands.

Thank you, George.

What knickers?

Yes? I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.

This is Detective Sergeant Scott.

What have you come to inspect?

Is Mr. Hilliard at home, please?

I'm afraid not.

Where would he be then, Chiefs?

He's on the dams, on orchid patrol.

♪

♪

Are you sure this is the right place, sir?

-Yes, I am. -This is Pycroft Down.

That is Pycroft Woods.

And they're in there somewhere.

Watch your feet.

♪

You there!

Keep still!

What the...?

Don't move, I said!

Just, uh, calm down, sir.

Oh, don't step back!

Keep still!

Ah!

-Imbecile! -Idiot!

Why didn't you stand still?

The first time it's flowered in five years.

And you've trampled it to death, you idiot.

Sorry about that.

Now I know where the expression flat-footed copper comes from.

And you, sir, Mr. Hilliard, isn't it?

You could find yourself in jail for

threatening a police officer with a lethal weapon.

Put it down.

It's about as lethal as I am.

And that could be more lethal than you think.

As I seem to have found a quorum of the Midsomer Orchid

Society out here on maneuvers, I'll take this opportunity

to tell you that another of your members, Henry Plummer, is dead.

Henry's dead?

Good god.

And somebody destroyed not one, for which I do apologize.

Somebody destroyed his entire orchid collection.

Anybody any idea who could have done that and why?

Plummer was a parvenu, desperate for a reputation among real orchid growers.

But he bought his plants rather than grow them himself.

I'm sorry the poor man's dead, but, well, he

wasn't exactly the most popular of our members, was he?

No genuine collector would destroy a

single orchid, let alone an entire collection.

Unlike Mr. Flatfoot here.

And where were you on Saturday night, Mr. Hilliard?

Having dinner with the Lord Lieutenant of the county

in the company of my wife, if you really want to know.

♪

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♪

♪

♪

Thank you for that. Thank you very much.

Something here, sir.

Miss Villiers took three trips to

Borneo in the last 12 months, and one to Peru.

Borneo and Peru?

It's not bad for a retired schoolteacher.

No, it is not.

On my pension, I'd be lucky to get as far as Bournemouth.

Oh, still, we are not without influence at our travel agents, are we?

Hello, Dan.

What can I do for you?

One-way ticket to Rio.

Why would I go to Rio when it's all kicking off in midsummer?

We found this in Miss Lillia's passport.

We think she had an account here.

Yes, well, she may have, but all our records

are confidential under the Data Protection Act.

I'll see you later.

Where are you going?

I'm going to get a search warrant.

Dan, I'm sure we can find a way around it.

Come sit down.

Just don't tell anyone about it, that's all.

Grows my heart and I hope to die.

It's a nice uniform.

Right, Madeleine Villiers.

She was a frequent flyer.

Last year, she went to the Far East three times.

And South America, and Borneo earlier this year.

Oh, now, that's very interesting.

What is?

Well, this account's also used by Mr Jimmy Fong.

Got an address for him?

No. But he was due to fly into the UK from Bangkok last Saturday.

Saturday?

That's the day of the Midsomer Flower Show

and the day Madeleine Villiers was killed.

Thank you, Cully.

Tell you what.

If you print this out for me, I will buy you lunch.

Sounds nice.

Come in, please.

Now, you are her sole executor, Mr. Fong.

Please, sit.

Miss Villiers has left you her entire estate on condition

that she is cremated and her ashes scattered as orchid fertilizer.

I always found that quite odd.

On the slopes of Mount?

Kinabalu.

Where is that exactly?

Borneo.

Ah.

What happened to the books they took out of her safe?

Oh, we'll make sure the police pay for the

damage and restore them to their rightful owner, you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Now, it looks as if all the money Miss Villiers made from

selling the orchard was paid into this Swiss bank account.

Yeah.

Yeah, go on.

Go on. Well, we know she sold the, uh, pepper of the orchard.

-Of the orchard. -That's the one.

For 150 grand, and yet only 25 of it was paid into her account.

Hm, which means that 125,000 pounds

could still be unpaid, doesn't it?

And if the buyer were indeed Henry Plummer, and if the

orchard were destroyed by someone before he's even fully paid for.

Maybe Henry Plummer was going to sell on the orchid at a profit.

And you reckon someone clobbered him first and

then strung him up to make it look like suicide?

You may be looking for a third party here, Scott.

Someone who killed Henry Plummer for his orchid.

And then burned the rest of the collection to cover his tracks.

Who else knew that Henry Plummer had that orchid?

Well, if I was a gambling man, sir, I'd

put a couple of quid on that tough Hilliard.

No, no, no.

If he said that he and his wife had dinner with the Lord

Lieutenant on the night of the murder, they probably did.

I'd like another look around Miss Villiers' cottage.

♪

I suppose we could always, um, get a warrant.

You were about to say, Scott.

Yeah, exactly, sir.

Oh, it's you lot.

What are you doing here?

Me?

I'm just finishing a job she's already paid me for.

You outside tap.

Mr. Rose, how very honorable of you.

You got a key?

No, the solicitor's locked it all up.

What a lovely garden.

Yeah.

Young fella comes in to do it.

He's a university student in the plants.

Come and have a look at this, sir.

♪

Does this have anything to do with you, Harry?

No, it's not my department.

But I do know that stuff's deadly.

It's got sulfuric acid in it.

Don't touch it.

♪

♪

Told you.

You're supposed to dilute it, one part to 100.

Wasn't you who poured this stuff on Henry Plummer's orchids, was it?

Me?

I wouldn't touch that stuff with a stick.

Get a sample of that, Scott.

The Georgia Bullard to analyze.

Mr. Rose, what do you know about Hemlock?

Now, that I do know about.

♪

♪

♪

That's hemlock.

How do you know?

Well, she told me.

It's poisonous.

Something to do with some old Greek she was keen on.

Name of Socrates.

Got a bust of him indoors.

How do you turn this into a poison?

No idea.

Smells like mouse pee if you crush it.

Madeline, I mean, Miss Villiers kept a bottle of it

just in case she got one of them debilitating diseases.

Look, I've got to get on.

I've got a wiring job in Causton in an hour.

Where do you learn all these decorating and building skills, Harry?

In prison?

I'm a lifer, out on a license.

But I think you know that already.

I thought you had the look of an old lag about you.

What'd you go down for?

Manslaughter, for which you've served, what, eight years, I believe.

I did a minicab driver when I was drunk.

I'm clean as a whistle now, and I had nothing to do with her death.

Not suggesting you did.

I built up a nice little business.

I kept my nose clean.

I don't want to go back inside.

Where'd you live?

Causton Bale Hostel.

And if you want to go on living there, Harry, I'd like to hear

everything you're not telling us about the late Miss Villiers.

Well, she wasn't the righteous spinster everyone thought she was.

So I believe.

And pardon me, good self, who visited her in the last few days?

Well, I'm not here all the time, you know.

But I did notice a pizza box and a couple of lager cans in the incinerator.

Oh

A present from old Socrates, Mr. Rose.

♪

I'm pretty sure it's a hybrid.

Yes.

Here we are.

That's the one.

Oh, uh, yes.

That's a nice flower.

My Phalaenopsis.

They ooze glamour.

Don't you think?

They add a sort of, I don't know, sexiness to a room.

Yes, I'm right.

It's the hybrid, also known as the Bardot Rose.

Ah, Rose.

Well, it's not actually a rose.

No, no, no.

Madeline Villiers employed a handyman called Rose.

Do you know that man, Professor?

Harry Rose?

Indeed I do.

Harry's an absolute godsend to a good number of people in the neighborhood.

I've come up with some interesting info, sir.

Yeah? Yeah. Miss Villiers' account in Switzerland was shared

with a bloke called Jimmy Fong, who's been making withdrawals.

Jimmy Fong?

Who, he?

I don't know, but he also shares a travel agent's account with Miss Villiers.

And he flew in three days ago from Bangkok.

Bangkok?

Her smuggling partner, perhaps?

-Chinese, maybe. -Trips to the Far East.

Could well be.

All this money at stake.

Maybe there was a falling out among thieves, eh?

-Look, where's he now? -I don't know.

But he'll soon be very short of dosh, because

I've just frozen their joint Swiss bank account.

How do you manage that?

Well, once upon a time, sir, there was a Swiss copper from the fiscal police.

Nice fellow, family man.

Anyway, he got into a bit of bother with

a prostitute, and then I got him out of it.

You never cease to amaze me, Scrooge.

You amaze me some more by tracking down this Jimmy Fong.

Hey, how's Brother Robert getting on with his diary translation?

Let me put it this way, sir.

Up at the Abbey, they still tell the time with a sundial.

Perhaps we should have asked Professor Winstanley.

Yes, we should.

I think we'll find she knows much more than she is telling us.

So no doubt you'll be going to see her again for another word.

Yes, indeed I will.

You sure he'll be safe, sir?

So, what is it about these plants that turns collectors into criminals?

Addiction.

Obsession.

Mania.

Call it what you will.

Personally, I'm attracted both to the peculiar and to the erotic.

Take this Paphiopedilum sanderianum here.

Just look at its luscious folds, that perfectly round glistening pouch.

Did you know that orchid is a Greek word meaning testicle?

Is that a fact?

You see what I mean?

What does Mr. Winstanley think about your passion for orchids?

He walked out on me years ago.

Does the name Jimmy Fong mean anything to you?

Fong, of course.

He's a notorious orchid smuggler.

The Convention on International Trade in

Endangered Species has been after him for years.

Did you know he was involved with Miss Villiers?

I'm intrigued,

but I had absolutely no idea.

With all due respect, Margaret, I think you are holding something back.

I never hold anything back.

Venous engorgement, enlargement of the

vein above the point of injury, and cyanosis.

See the blue discoloration of the fingertips?

So he was strangled first, and then hung up to make it look like suicide, yeah.

And what about the weed killer?

Yeah, it was in pretty common use 20 years ago, I'm afraid.

Down now, of course.

And I'm still awaiting test results.

Oh, that old bottle did contain hemlock.

-Oh. -Excuse me, gentlemen.

Hold on, Charlie.

Thank you, George.

Thank you for that.

Yeah, go on, Charlie.

Nothing at all?

All right, thank you.

There is no one by the name of Fong at any of

the B&Bs or hotels within 50 miles of here, sir.

Perhaps he's gone back to Bangkok already.

Yeah, maybe he has.

If he had come all that way to kill Miss Villiers.

But what if he'd come over to marry her?

And how do you think he'd react if he arrived early

and caught her in flagrante with Henry Plummer, perhaps?

Might certainly cure his jet lag, sir.

Perhaps the floozy actress was actually Miss Villiers.

And our Henry Plummer was repaying some of his debt in kind, eh?

And if he was 125 grand shy in the kitty, I think

the China man might want his orchid back as well.

I'd like to hear the merry widow sing some more.

Looks like the handyman's got his hammer out already, sir.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Plummer.

Please come in.

Have you come to tell me that you're going to

release Henry's body so that I can arrange the funeral?

No.

It's not going to be as easy as that.

It appears that your husband's death was not a suicide after all.

Wasn't suicide?

What are you talking about?

Leave the rest to

♪

Give me the girl.

And leave the rest to me.

Give me a shading.

Mr. Rose.

Inspector.

Supporting Mrs. Plummer in her darkest hours, I see.

Harry's helping me with Henry's belongings.

The good stuff goes to Oxfam.

The rest in the incinerator.

Strangled.

Oh, my God.

Who on earth would strangle Henry?

Well, that's what we're trying to find out, Mrs. Plummer.

On the night of your husband's death, you drove to London, didn't you?

I did.

I left around about a quarter to 8.

I went to a club, and then I stayed with some friends in Chiswick.

And those friends, they'd vouch for that, would they?

You're not suggesting it was me, are you?

Well, you yourself suggested that you lived separate lives.

So what?

Sleeping in separate beds was a luxury.

How was your husband's relationship with Miss Villiers?

What relationship?

Did he ever visit her?

Are you suggesting?

Why would he visit a dry double spinster like her?

What about Harry Rose?

Will he be moving in when all this is over, Mrs. Plummer?

What sort of person do you think I am?

My husband's being murdered, damn it!

Harry may be very good at practical things, but that's as far as it goes.

Hello?

Oh, just a moment, Spencer.

As it happens, this is my solicitor, who's sorting out the probate.

Now, if you want to talk to me further, I'd like him to be present.

Now, you can either wait until he gets here, or you can see yourselves out.

Mr. Rose.

Look, I'm in a rush.

I've got to get this to the Oxfam shop in Causton before it closes.

Not only musical, but virtuous, too.

Look, I'll tell you what, Mr. Rose.

Why don't you call in to Causton Police

Station when you've done all this for a little chat?

Just to tie up a few loose ends, Harry.

-That's all. -About 4 o'clock?

All right.

Whatever you say.

What have we here?

Excuse me, sir, the Causton CID.

Are you Mr. Fong, Mr. Jimmy Fong?

Me?

No, I'm Wong Tu-ho from Happy House Chinese restaurant in Causton.

Do you want to order something?

What's in the box?

Crispy duck with pancake and barbecue sauce.

Very tasty.

Well, you, you're welcome any time.

That's a big car for an errand boy, isn't it, Justin?

Check out this happy house restaurant.

So if you are the real Wen Tu Ho, sir, can you

tell me who the man with the black BMW is, please?

I don't know.

He don't give me no name.

Maybe Jimmy Fong, maybe not.

Yeah, maybe.

Why is this fellow, whose name you don't know,

Wen, why is he delivering Chinese food for you?

He was eating Pearl River special lunch

here when take away motorbike got flat tire.

A big mess.

So this man say he has got car.

He go himself.

Just like that?

Just like that.

We Chinese always help each other.

That's very noble.

Can you tell me where he is now, please?

I don't know.

He bring take away money back, then go.

Maybe he come back, maybe not.

Now, Mr. Rose, the weed killer found in Miss

Villiers' shed matches that used to kill Mr. Plummer's orchids.

Well, it's got nothing to do with me.

Maybe Debra asked you to do her a favor.

Oh, no, she didn't.

So your favors are just sexual, aren't they?

Well, yeah.

We do it from time to time.

She gets off on being laid by an ex-con, would you believe?

Did Debra ask you to kill her husband?

No, it's got nothing to do with me, I swear.

What about Miss Villiers?

Did you have a relationship with her too?

Look, after eight years of being inside, I had a lot of catching up to do.

Her lover lives abroad, and she needed the practice.

Like she said, use it or lose it.

What about Miss Villiers' orchid smuggling?

What do you know about that?

Well, I found her the warding cabinet so she could put

her plants in it when she came back from abroad, that's all.

What about the orchid she sold to Mr. Plummer for 150,000 pounds?

150 grand for a plant?

You're having me on.

Scott and Mr. Rose seem to be suffering from some kind of amnesia.

Yeah.

Tell you what, there are some very good

psychiatrists working in prison these days.

I'll just let the license board know about

him being involved in a murder investigation.

Look, I don't want to go back inside.

All right.

I admit, I knew about the Yellow Roth.

Madeleine, Miss Villiers was livid

because Henry Plummer only coughed up 25 grand.

She said if I went round to Plummer's

house and got it back, she'd give me 50 quid.

And did you?

Oh, we're wasting our time here, Sarah, so we'll put him back inside.

All right, keep your shirt on.

I did go around a plumber's house,

about 10 o'clock, and there was no one there.

But I was already too late.

Everything was ruined.

Including the yellow roth?

Well, from what I saw, that was shriveled up as well.

150 grams worth of plants, zapped, just like that.

Then what did you do?

Well, I legged it, didn't I?

I phoned Miss Villiers, but when she didn't answer, I went home to the hostel.

The next morning, I found her dead.

Never did get the 50 quid.

OK, Harry.

I don't think for a minute that you've told me the whole truth,

but I don't think any useful purpose will be served by locking you up.

You're free to go.

Thank you very much, sir.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

Oh

♪

That took some force, that.

It certainly did.

Who found him?

The butler, Feather.

Constable Charles has already taken the statement.

But Tom,

take a look at this.

Something missing.

Something taken.

We thought he'd fallen asleep in there.

He does sometimes, it's so warm and cosy.

And he's got his father's old deck chair.

But when he didn't come in for tea, Feather

went to see where he was, didn't you, Feather?

Yes, ma'am.

I found him.

Mrs. Hilliard, had your husband recently acquired a new orchid?

I don't suppose it matters now that he...

Uh, yes, yes.

He was terribly excited about it.

This one was so frightfully rare, even unique, he said.

And was that orchid, the Paphiopedilum

Rothschildianum Flavum, the yellow wroth?

Yes.

How did you know?

And for which he must have paid a great deal of money.

One now can afford to indulge, Mr. Barnaby.

Like his father and his grandfather before him, he

was addicted to orchids, as others are addicted to drugs.

They were his passion.

But for this deadly orchid, this Orchis

Fatalis, the price proved too

high, even for Monroe.

Mrs. Hilliard, have you any idea where the orchid came from?

I never ask.

Would your husband have bought the orchid if he'd

known it was illegally imported into this country?

He was a conservationist.

Could your husband have bought the orchid from Henry Plummer?

It's very unlikely.

Monroe and Plummer despised each other.

He considered him an Arabist.

You'll never come plodding back from the conservatory, will you?

I think, gentlemen, in the circumstance.

Yes.

I'm sorry.

Thank you, Mr. Tillyard.

She describes in great detail the

sexual acts between her and her many partners.

Feras,-E-I, Tigris.

Quantum deferred, Eb, Juvene.

Wild, Asian tiger, who's growing tame.

How different from the young man.

Jimmy Fong.

And this is her last entry.

It's most curious.

It crests, dears, neftarium mea.

And tomorrow is my wedding day, but I shall not marry the peacemaker.

And I think we'll find the peacemaker is Jonathan Makepeace.

♪

Afternoon, Mr. Makepeace.

I wonder if you've got a minute.

Could you help us, please?

Of course.

The late Miss Villiers, she kept a diary.

Really?

Yes. And in it, you feature rather prominently.

Well, it's not surprising.

I spent hours with her, discussing her garden.

But it wasn't just a flower patch you were planting seeds in, was it, Jonathan?

I don't know what you're talking about.

She claims that you were also her lover.

Lover?

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Oh, that's just some senile old woman fantasizing.

Well...

I did go round there a couple of times, yes, but...

But I had nothing at all to do with her death.

Were you intending to marry her?

Marry her?

As in make her your wife till death do you part?

Well, yes.

But of course, I couldn't go through with it.

The night she died, I told her I'd changed my mind.

She was livid.

But when I left, she was still very much alive.

Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around this.

Why would a handsome young student like yourself, Jonathan,

want to marry someone who's old enough to be their grandmother?

It is a little involved.

Let me guess, Mr. McPheers.

Am I right in saying that this was an attempt to find out about

her international orchid smuggling operation, and that you were

prepared to go to almost any lengths to discover who was involved?

Well, you know, Pillow Talk might have provided a

valuable lead, and we wanted to get to the bottom of it.

But we didn't mention one word about it to anyone.

We didn't dare.

We didn't dare.

-We? -You said we. -Who's the we?

Whose idea was it to seduce Miss Villiers in the first place?

Professor Winstanley's, of course.

♪

♪

Yes, I did put him up to it.

Madeline's sexual appetite was well known in the village.

You mean Harry Rose told you about it?

And did Harry Rose also tell you that she smuggled rare orchids?

Oh, good lord, no.

Harry's the soul of discretion.

We had a pretty good idea, hence the Casanova

role for Jonathan, which she was perfectly happy with.

Jonathan Makepeace said she wasn't very happy when he went

around to call off the wedding on the evening of her death.

Do you think Jonathan Makepeace had anything to do with her death?

No, of course not.

He's a botanist, not a murderer.

I don't recall suggesting it was a murder.

Well, isn't...

isn't that what you're implying?

I'd be very interested to know how you think Henry Plummer died.

He committed suicide, didn't he?

No, Professor.

They were both murdered.

Oh, my god.

And the catalyst for both the deaths, it appears, was a smuggled

orchid, which now I'm pretty certain was eventually bought by Munro Hilliard.

And as a result, he too was murdered.

Munro Hilliard?

I should have brought my suspicions about

Madeline's smuggling activities to you, shouldn't I?

The prospect of cracking an international smuggling ring, of

watching the culprits being brought to justice, of being hailed

as the saviour of orchid habitats in remote corners of the world...

clouded my judgment.

Is that so terrible, Mr. Barnaby?

The consequences were so terrible.

A bit of common sense would have told you what could happen.

There was never a chair in common sense at the university, was there?

I was going through Munro's papers and found this.

It appears that madam's late husband arranged to pay 175

,000 pounds from one of his offshore accounts to Mrs. Plummer.

Was the payment made?

No, sir. There being no sign of the orchid, madam had the account frozen.

Mrs. Hilliard.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Um, I know this is a very, very trite time for you.

But do you recall your husband ever mentioning the name Fong?

Mr. Jimmy Fong?

No, I've never heard the name before.

Oh.

Well, this has been very useful.

Thank you for it.

And as it happens, our Mr. Fong is waiting for us at Causton Police Station.

As sole beneficiary of the late Miss Villiers' will, my client

would like returned to him certain items removed illegally from her safe.

Legally removed, Mr. Gosling, in order to further our inquiries into her death.

Uh, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask your client a direct question.

Mr. Fong, last time we met you, you were

delivering a Chinese meal and calling yourself Wing Tu Ho.

Just trying to do a fellow Chinaman a favor.

I always eat at the Happy House when I come to England.

And the business which brought you here was

your very lucrative orchid smuggling, I presume.

My client will certainly not answer that question.

He's here of his own volition to reclaim his unlawfully

seized property, not to be questioned about alleged

criminal activities for which you have absolutely no evidence.

It's OK, Mr. Jostner.

I've devoted all my life to saving threatened orchids from extinction.

That's a new slant on it.

My client will have no further comment to make on such a line of questioning.

Then perhaps your client will be kind enough

to tell us what he is doing here in Midsomer.

I came here to marry Madeline Villiers and

to take her away on honeymoon to Switzerland.

When you found out she was having it off

with somebody else, you killed her, didn't you?

Kill her?

For that? Yeah, cos she was sleeping with half the village, wasn't she?

or insults of the dead, all you've got left in your arsenal.

I'm no saint, believe you me, but I loved her, and she loved me.

I would never kill her.

Mr. Fong, did you kill Henry Plummer and Munro Hilliard in

order to recover the orchid for which your intended had already died?

♪

Mrs. Plummer, may I put this to you, that you stole that

orchid, the yellow wroth, from your husband's collection

because Monroe Hilliard had secretly agreed to buy it from you?

It was my orchid, damn it.

Henry had paid for it with my money.

But yes, you're right.

Hilliard had agreed to buy it.

So he'd go around to collect the cash.

But either he refused to pay it to you, or he hadn't got it.

So you attacked him with a fork and took the orchid back?

Attacked him with a fork?

I've never heard such a load of rubbish in all my life.

But you did sell him the orchid.

Well, that I will admit to.

You see, I didn't go to London immediately after the flower show.

The thought of 150 grams worth of plant just sitting there was too much for me.

He'd already gone into town, so I took the orchid.

Then I thought, what the hell?

Why don't I put a stop to this orchid lunacy once and for all?

♪

♪

There's no law against it, I checked.

But there is against selling smuggled orchids.

You have to prove it was smuggled first.

How was your crispy duck, by the way?

Delivered by the famous orchid smuggler himself, Mr. Jimmy Fong, eh?

Not enough barbecue sauce.

There never is.

But he wasn't just bringing you a Chinese takeaway, was he?

He was bringing you some bad news.

So where's the rest of the money your husband owed to Miss Villiers?

I don't have it.

Then you better find it pretty quick.

Because when I come back, I want either cash or orchid.

You understand?

Who delivered the orchid to Mr. Hilliard?

I did.

I mean, we did.

Run me over to the manor house.

I don't want anyone to recognize my car up there.

I thought he was going to have a heart attack.

I don't want to sound vulgar, Monroe, but what about the money?

The money didn't come through.

So I got Rose to run me up there again yesterday.

But he wasn't there.

No sign of him.

Monroe?

♪

♪

♪

Um, I'll give him a ring again.

I'm still waiting for my money.

Oh, you'll be waiting a very long time, Mrs. Plummer.

Munro Hilliard was murdered around about the same

time as Rose drove you up there yesterday afternoon.

Murdered?

The orchid's been stolen, Mrs. Plummer.

And Mrs. Hilliard's frozen her husband's bank accounts.

Oh my god, I'm ruined.

Where's my orchid?

Where's my money?

Oh, my god.

I'm broke.

I think you know where that orchid is, Mrs. Plummer.

I think you probably killed Mr. Hilliard to get it back.

No.

You've got it all wrong.

He was already dead when I found him.

Come.

Have a go.

There's no end to your time, is there?

So you were the obliging chauffeur, were you?

Well, I didn't have a choice, did I?

But that's all I did, dropped her off a couple of times and waited.

Yeah, I bet.

It's the truth.

Well, did you go back to the manor house, skewer

Mr. Hilliard, and then nick the plant for yourself?

We are desperately trying to think of a reason

not to arrest you for the murder of Munro Hilliard.

Help us out, Harry.

Well, there was one thing, and now I've come to think of it.

While I was waiting there, I noticed something weird.

All right, Harry.

Let's go.

Mel?

I saw this old butcher's bike propped up against the wall.

And I remember thinking to myself at the time,

what do butchers I know around here drive vans?

What kind of meat would anybody be delivering on that thing?

A butcher's bicycle.

You sure about that?

♪

♪

It is very pretty there.

Mr. Barnaby?

Still find it hard to believe it's worth more than a quarter a million quid.

That is, I take it, that your Pedilum

Rothschildianum Flavum, the yellow roth is.

Ah, if only.

You've got the genus right, but this is the Sandirianum.

It's exquisite, isn't it?

We just take your word for that, do we?

The point is no longer about plant appreciation.

We are here to ask you about the murder of Munro Hilliard.

What can I possibly tell you about that?

Well, you can tell me where you were yesterday afternoon, please.

I was right here.

Why do you ask?

Because your bicycle was seen outside Hilliard's house yesterday afternoon.

Well, I lent it to Jonathan.

Make peace.

Is he here now?

You'll find him in the palm house.

And what a perfect place to hide the orchid.

It has already cost three lives, eh, Jonathan?

What do you want?

What do I want? I want to talk to you about three murders.

Stay away from it, or I'll use it, I promise you.

Don't clock up any more penalty points, Jonathan.

It's bad enough as it is.

Jonathan, what do you think you're doing?

For God's sake, put that down.

I would do as the professor asks, Jonathan.

That is the stolen orchid, isn't it?

The yellow roth?

Well, yes, it is.

Monroe Hilliard was willing to pay £175,000 for that, Jonathan.

I bet you've got someone else in mind, haven't you, who's

willing to pay a good deal more, a quarter of a million, maybe?

You can't sell it, Jonathan.

It's the only one in the world.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

Shit.

♪

♪

We have a witness who will testify that

Professor Winstanley's bike, which he lent to

you, was seen outside Hilliard's house at the relevant time.

And your prints were on the floor.

The moment you laid eyes upon it, you recognized it, didn't you?

The yellow wrath.

You and I could breed from it, Mr. Hilliard.

We could make millions.

You think I do this for the money, you greedy little tyke?

I'm not breeding anything from this beauty.

All my life, I've waited for a moment like this.

Not even my father, nor my grandfather

before him, ever saw such a perfect bloom.

Then let's say you give me 200,000 pounds, or I inform the police.

Blackmail?

How dare you?

Get out of here, you bloody upstart.

You're not fit to be in the same room as this beautiful plant.

We'll see about that.

♪

♪

♪

Oh

I threatened to report him to the police, and he attacked me.

It was self-defense.

That's what I'll say in court, and no one can prove otherwise.

Madeleine Villiers had no intention of marrying you, had she?

It was she who jilted you.

Don't talk rubbish.

It was the other way around.

It was the last entry in her diary.

Then what?

In a fit of rage at seeing your smuggling

ambitions go up in smoke, you killed her?

Are you mad?

Are you suffering from dementia or something?

No, Jonathan, I'm not.

You don't know my future husband, although you've

lain in my bed, tried to coax his name out of me.

But he and I are made for each other.

We're meant to spend our last years together.

It's our destiny.

So you just used me, didn't you?

You debauched.

Oh, that was only your toy boy after all, wasn't it?

Don't play the innocent with me, Jonathan.

I'd hate to think that was all there was to our little affair.

Tell me, or you'll drink every last drop.

Don't be stupid, Jonathan.

Tell me.

Jonathan, please, I...

Tell me.

Please, Jonathan, I beg you.

Tell me.

Henry Plummer.

No!

No!

No! No! No!

-No! -No!

You must have held on to her until the hemlock started to

work, and then went round to steal the orchid from Henry Plummer.

But something unexpected happened, didn't it, Jonathan?

♪

You did this.

Hilliard sent you, didn't he?

You destroyed everything.

Don't you talk back!

♪

♪

♪

♪

Oh

And all for a single orchid.

Not just any old orchid.

The rarest orchid in the hall.

Margaret?

I'm sorry.

He was such a promising student.

Such a terrible waste.

Sergeant Scott here, he'll need to take a statement from you.

Is that OK?

Why, no.

I'm sorry.

You're not sleeping here, are you?

Of course.

Looking after this is like looking after a baby.

And I don't have to change his nappies.

Join me on my night watch, if you like.

Brother Robert, your eulogy for Miss

Villiers was lovely, very fitting.

Very good of you to say so.

I had the advantage of knowing the lady rather

more intimately than most of the congregation.

Thank you for it.

Mr. Barnaby, I just, uh, I wanted to thank you for giving me a second chance.

Oh, Harry, best of luck with it.

Stay out of trouble.

I will.

♪

♪

Gamekeeper turning poacher by the looks of things, sir.

And heading for a long and restful retirement, I trust.

We're going to Mount Kinabalu to carry out Madeline's last wish.

And what was that?

She wanted her ashes scattered as fertilizers on the jungle slope.

With luck, she'll help grow a unique orchid, which we'll name after her.

Enjoy your trip.

You know, I think I'll let someone else organize the flower show next year.

Oh, yes.

So what about that lunch you promised me?

Now, I'm going to surprise you all here.

Lunch is on me.

Chinese, anyone?

what's up?

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪