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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,447 ♪ Shrimp boats are a-comin' 2 00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:58,754 ♪ Their sails are in sight 3 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:05,239 -Are you hit? -No, I'm okay. 4 00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:07,632 It's her stomach. She's been having pains. 5 00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:10,809 Well, well. Since when did they put a stewardess on this run? 6 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:13,334 She's with the U.S.O. Medic thinks it's her appendix. 7 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,120 That must be Marina's troupe. 8 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,253 Hello! Anybody home? 9 00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,124 That's Brandy Doyle, the stripper. 10 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,083 How would you know? 11 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,954 I saw her picture in Lifemagazine. 12 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,347 Uh, fully clothed. 13 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,262 It is you! Fast Freddie Nichols, 14 00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,394 the funniest man ever to set foot on his ankles. 15 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,181 Many's the time you've beguiled 16 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:35,965 this wide-eyed young doughboy 17 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:38,576 back in K.C. in the old Gaiety Theater. 18 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,187 You caught my act? 19 00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,972 Heck. One time I caught your garter. 20 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,148 -How are you feeling? -Great. 21 00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:48,891 Thanks to a certain wonderful doctor I know. 22 00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:50,197 Oh, I'll bet you say that 23 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,720 to all the wonderful doctors you know. 24 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,330 I mean it. 25 00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,202 Hey, you were just supposed to take out her appendix, 26 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,117 not steal her heart. 27 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,466 That was G2 on the phone. 28 00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,902 There's an all-out offensive. 29 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,773 All roads are restricted to troop convoys only. 30 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,123 Nobody can leave. You've been held over. 31 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,386 Hey, Freddie. 32 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,387 Yeah, huh? 33 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,345 Shake! 34 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:11,479 Make sure we've got plenty of plasma, penicillin, bandages. 35 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:12,523 Order everything times three. 36 00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,177 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 37 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,223 Colonel, there's gotta be some way to get out of here. 38 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,660 Mr. Nichols, let me put this in show folks' lingo. 39 00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,923 There's people out there knockin' 'em dead. 40 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,751 Unless you want your next review 41 00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,187 to be in the obituaries, 42 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:25,710 you'll just have to set here a spell. 43 00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,843 But we gotta wind up this tour on schedule, 44 00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,888 or in army folks' lingo, my club date in Hoboken 45 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,412 is gonna be right down the latrine. 46 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,414 I've been to Hoboken. You're better off here. 47 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,937 You don't understand. 48 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,417 This could cost me the chance of a lifetime. 49 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,158 My agent says it's the perfect showcase 50 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,376 for Toast of the Town. 51 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:40,508 What's that? 52 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,118 What's that? Ed Sullivan! 53 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,251 The really big "shew." 54 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:46,166 -You all right, son? -Oh! 55 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,733 Look, unless this Toast of the Townfeller's 56 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,388 got scrambled eggs on his cap, you're plumb outta luck. 57 00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,912 -How's he doing? -Vital signs are stable. 58 00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:57,394 How you feeling, Nowicki? 59 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,615 Has he spoken at all? 60 00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,312 No, not a word. 61 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,792 Okay, pal. 62 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,576 If you don't feel like talking, I understand. 63 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:09,276 But if you change your mind, my number is "Hey, doc." 64 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:13,018 I will open with...five. 65 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:16,021 Hey, take it easy. That stuff doesn't grow on trees, you know. 66 00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,459 Hey, B. J., what's the matter with him? 67 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,461 War's got his tongue. 68 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:27,032 Sherm! 69 00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,947 -Hi, Sherm. -Howdy, ma'am. 70 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,862 Sorry about the extended engagement. 71 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,343 I know this ain't exactly the Great White Way. 72 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:36,607 Oh, it's not the place. It's the people. 73 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:40,176 I thought maybe you and I could get together and have a drink. 74 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,570 I gotta warn you, if you want to keep your insides 75 00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,441 lookin' as good as your outsides, 76 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,965 you better stay away from the rotgut they serve around here. 77 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,532 Oh, don't worry about me. 78 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,534 I've had whiskey that'd put hair on your glass. 79 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,057 Say, come to think of it, 80 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,972 I've got a bottle of 12-year-old scotch 81 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,974 I've been saving for a dry day. 82 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,499 Oh, Sherm, your best scotch? 83 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:02,024 You oughta save that for a special occasion. I don't want to be-- 84 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:05,245 Well, this is special. It isn't every day I get to rub elbows, 85 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,290 let alone bend 'em, with a celebrity. 86 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,074 How about the Officers Club? 87 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,642 12-year-old scotch in the Officers Club? 88 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:14,079 You'd be amazed how many friends 89 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,603 and how little booze you'll have. 90 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,257 I guess you're right. 91 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,955 Maybe we better sip the firewater in my wigwam. 92 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,609 Why, Sherman Potter! 93 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,872 Oh, well, n-no, I--I ju-- 94 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:26,004 -I'll be there at 8:00. -I--I-- 95 00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,876 I--I--I--I-- 96 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:30,835 Hey, Sarah. 97 00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,534 I'm emceeing at a red-hot bingo game 98 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,100 in the Officers Club later. 99 00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,277 -Care to join us? -No, thanks, Father. 100 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,890 Not much fun being stuck in the middle of nowhere, is it? 101 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,283 Oh, it's not that. 102 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,068 Now it looks like I may never get 103 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:48,288 to the 121st evac hospital. 104 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,724 Why is that so important? 105 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:54,337 Her brother was killed in combat near here. 106 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,687 He died at the 121st. 107 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:59,255 -I'm sorry. -To think I've come all this way 108 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,865 to go home empty-handed. 109 00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,259 What do you mean? I don't understand. 110 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,349 What are you looking for? Maybe we can help. 111 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:10,005 Well, most importantly, a pair of ballet shoes. 112 00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,444 My brother was in love with a ballerina, 113 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,707 and they had planned to get married. 114 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,579 And the night before he shipped out, 115 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,103 she gave him a pair of her toe shoes, 116 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:24,846 and he treasured them as his only link to her. 117 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:28,240 When his effects were returned, the shoes weren't among them. 118 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,199 I thought if I could find them, 119 00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:33,158 his fiancée and I would have a memory of him we could share. 120 00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,987 You know, Sarah, if you never received the shoes, 121 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,338 chances are they were either lost or stolen 122 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,296 before they ever reached the 121st. 123 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,820 What kind of an injury did your brother have, Sarah? 124 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,256 A head wound. 125 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,997 They usually send the neurosurgical cases 126 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,303 to the 8063rd. 127 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,566 I know the chaplain there. 128 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,352 I could call him and ask him about the shoes. 129 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,528 Where's Marina? 130 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,225 Oh, she wanted to visit, 131 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,314 so I flagged down the first wheelchair that came by. 132 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:02,187 I bet there are a lot of things you're lookin' forward to 133 00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:03,580 when you get home, huh, Michael? 134 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:09,543 Well, what I'm lookin' forward to most 135 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:13,895 is a big bite of a Golden Delicious apple. 136 00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:18,465 Not an ordinary apple like you get in the market. 137 00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:19,988 I'm from Washington State, 138 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,903 where we pluck 'em right off the tree. 139 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,122 They're so...fresh 140 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,777 that they crackle when you sink your teeth into 'em. 141 00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,605 And inside, snow white. 142 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,219 Thought it couldn't hurt to try. 143 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:35,612 If I was an apple, 144 00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,614 I'd want you to deliver my eulogy. 145 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,877 Listen to her, Nowicki. She'll keep the doctor away. 146 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,053 Thanks for trying, Marina. 147 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,446 He didn't say anything, 148 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,143 but I think maybe he heard me. 149 00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,971 Now that you're on the case, 150 00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,931 maybe he'll start showing signs of showing signs. 151 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,802 -You were terrific. -Thanks. 152 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,545 Mm, Mm-mm. 153 00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,243 What's the matter? 154 00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,071 I think you may be pushing your recovery a little bit. 155 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,204 Oh, Hawkeye, I feel fine. 156 00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,640 Yeah, well, your lips may have a relapse. 157 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,337 They're not even on solid food yet. 158 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:06,687 Try to get some sleep. 159 00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:12,867 Hey, doc? 160 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:20,178 Will you tell her that I like apples too? 161 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,791 Yeah, sure. 162 00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,501 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 163 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,068 I didn't have a thing to wear. 164 00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,636 Wow! I'll show you in 165 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,073 just as soon as I can let go of the door. 166 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,641 Oh, I think I can find my way. 167 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,515 Didn't realize you were gonna wear your Class A's. 168 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:55,431 Well, it was a choice of this or my working clothes, 169 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,434 and I figured it was a little bit chilly for them. 170 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:02,786 That's funny. I was just beginning to notice how warm it is. 171 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:05,223 Well, enough about the weather. 172 00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,748 How would you like to offer a lady a belt? 173 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,445 Oh. Comin' right up. 174 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:21,718 Now, watch this stuff. 175 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,503 It's got more kick than the Rockettes. 176 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,420 How about a toast? 177 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,553 To two old war horses. 178 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,513 May your tassels soon twirl in peacetime. 179 00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:34,688 Amen. 180 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:42,173 Ooh, Sherm, this is good. 181 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:46,438 Not enough O's in "smooth" to describe this. 182 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,540 He's right here. Hold on, Chaplain. 183 00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:05,414 Charlie, there's a young woman here with a U.S.O. troupe 184 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,895 who's trying to locate her brother's personal effects. 185 00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,331 He was a K.I.A. 186 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:13,901 Well, primarily, a pair of ballet shoes. 187 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:16,294 No, no, they were kind of a keepsake. 188 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:19,602 I'd appreciate it if you could check your lost and found. 189 00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:23,432 Well, if you find them, please call me here. 190 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,347 Uh, thanks, Charlie. Bye-bye. 191 00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:29,481 Well, he'll do what he can. 192 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,309 Thanks. 193 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:35,792 -Beautiful! 194 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,321 What's the matter, Major? 195 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,454 Didn't I soothe your savage breast? 196 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,630 No offense, Miss Carlyle, 197 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,110 but I've always been of the opinion 198 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,677 that squeezing is a technique 199 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,636 best suited to making orange juice, not music. 200 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,465 Oh. My, you do have a way with arrogance. 201 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:57,945 Well, I've just never been a devotee 202 00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,599 of musical instruments that one has to wear. 203 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,731 Oh! This old thing. 204 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:05,300 -Here, hold my wrap. -I don't want to h-- 205 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,389 Maybe I should, uh, try a little of this? 206 00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:10,653 Going to favor us with a selection of boogie-woogie? 207 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:34,242 Any other requests from the boogie man? 208 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,958 I am sorry, Eleanor. 209 00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,787 I had no idea you were so versatile. 210 00:10:57,831 --> 00:11:01,661 Why are you wasting your time with that overgrown concertina? 211 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,097 I like to eat. 212 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,056 Play something we can dance to. 213 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,190 No, no, no, no, no! Don't listen to those boors. 214 00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,931 Oh, come on, Major. 215 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,020 Doesn't it get lonely up there in your ivory tower? 216 00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,587 Even Dvorak and Brahms wrote folk dances, you know. 217 00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,851 -I-- 218 00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:21,985 Come on, Major. You wanna dance? 219 00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,466 I thought you'd never ask. 220 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,954 It's a good thing that stuff is almost gone. 221 00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:36,608 Any more and we could get swizzled. 222 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,004 A toast. 223 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,659 To twirling tassels. 224 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,012 Oh, you know, Sherm, 225 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:53,103 it's a shame we didn't meet back in those days of K.C. 226 00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:57,107 We could have had one whizbang of a blowout. 227 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,544 Oh, when I first caught a glimpse of you 228 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:02,591 and your no-nonsense ways, 229 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,768 that sparkle in your eye... 230 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:09,032 Oh, I like a man who's been pushed around a little by life 231 00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:12,079 and who just pushes right back. 232 00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:15,299 Oh, Sherm, you got spunk. 233 00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,137 About this priest in Dublin-- 234 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,965 a parishioner, Mr. O'Malley, comes to him, and he says, 235 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:31,489 "Father Casey, you've got to help me out." 236 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,188 So Father Casey says to O'Malley, 237 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,103 "You'll have plenty to feed your ten children 238 00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,844 if you plant potatoes in the spring, 239 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,150 "corn in the summer, cabbage in the fall, 240 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,065 and let your wife decide what to do 241 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,850 in the cold winter months." 242 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:47,462 Then O'Malley says, "Father, you don't understand." 243 00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:50,813 "That's how I got the ten kids in the first place." 244 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:53,207 How did you know that? I just wrote it. 245 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,253 Fat chance, Groucho. That's a seminary standard. 246 00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:57,994 The First Commandment of comedy 247 00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:00,040 is "Thou Shalt Not Steal." 248 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,435 Now, would you try to get the 8063rd again? 249 00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:07,003 Sure, Father. Boy, everybody's a comedian. 250 00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,922 Hello, Sparky. 251 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,402 Is this a bad connection, 252 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,621 or are you eating breakfast cereal? 253 00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,972 Breakfast cereal. Never mind. 254 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:22,453 Uh, I want to get through to the 8063rd. 255 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,542 Oh. Hold on. 256 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,066 Communications blackout. 257 00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,589 I'll bet you there's a Red Chinese 258 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:29,243 with a copy of Berlitz eavesdropping on every phone. 259 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,506 A regular Communist party line. 260 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:34,030 I have to find out if there's any word on the ballet shoes. 261 00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,727 -Sorry, Father. -Bother! 262 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,776 Just wanted to make sure you were decent. 263 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,170 I've got a surprise for you. 264 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:45,955 Hi. 265 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:51,265 He insisted on returning your visit. 266 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,879 Hi, Michael. 267 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,838 I like my friends to call me Mike. 268 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,536 Okay. Mike. 269 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,364 Are they treatin' you okay? 270 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,279 Nothing to worry about, Mike. 271 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,542 I got the greatest doctor in the world. 272 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,152 Well, that's good. 273 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,893 And if they start givin' you a hard time, 274 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,808 just tell 'em they'll have to answer to Nowicki. 275 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:17,291 How about that? Words are coming out. 276 00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,641 His lips are moving, and nobody has a hand in his back. 277 00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,904 Nice, huh? From no talk to sweet talk. 278 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,558 She's just amazing. 279 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,168 I'd like to prescribe a few minutes with her 280 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:26,866 to every kid who comes through here. 281 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,780 MAN : Attention! Incoming wounded! 282 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,521 Hurry while there's still a wide selection 283 00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,306 of models and colors to choose from. 284 00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:33,916 We'll have a lot of prescriptions for her to fill. 285 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,093 You're gonna be okay, Private. 286 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,921 Nothing broken, leaking, or AWOL. 287 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,575 Thanks, doc. Oh! 288 00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,359 Here. 289 00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,665 What's this? 290 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,148 Don't tell me you were wounded at the battle of Swan Lake? 291 00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,889 Battalion Aid gave 'em to me. 292 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,760 Said I was supposed to deliver 'em here. 293 00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:54,284 Said they were from the 8063rd. 294 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,633 They found them! 295 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,287 She's always nervous on opening night. 296 00:14:57,331 --> 00:15:00,029 Father Mulcahy! They found them! 297 00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:02,597 That's wonderful! Wonderful! 298 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,208 Sarah! Sarah! 299 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:08,516 Miss Miller! Sarah, they found them! 300 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:09,734 KELLYE: Father Mulcahy! 301 00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:11,562 Over here! We need a hand! 302 00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,173 Father, where did they come from? 303 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:29,276 -Hi. -Shh. You'll wake me. 304 00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,147 You do look exhausted. 305 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:34,585 I've been operating since dawn's early light. 306 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,109 This is a very particular crowd. 307 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:39,242 They want all their insides put back inside. 308 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,852 I just wanted to come by and see how you were feeling 309 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,071 before I went to sleep. 310 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,681 Did I make it? 311 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:47,903 You're sweet to take such good care of me, Hawkeye. 312 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,079 That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. 313 00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:53,735 The travel restrictions have been lifted. 314 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:56,085 Your friends are going to the 121st evac tomorrow morning. 315 00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,782 You'll be able to join them. 316 00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,786 Do I really have to go? 317 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,745 Well, we have this whole new batch of wounded. 318 00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,051 They're taking numbers for beds. 319 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,750 Well, I could stay in the VIP tent. 320 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,665 I'd be out of everybody's way there 321 00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:13,015 and still near you. 322 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,234 Near me, huh? 323 00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:16,584 You mean a great deal to me. 324 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,716 You don't even know me. 325 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,109 I know enough. 326 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,721 Marina, when you came here, 327 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,201 you were sick. 328 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,812 I--I literally swept you off your feet. 329 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,599 All you see is a miracle man in a white suit. 330 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:36,343 Oh, come on, Hawkeye. I'm not a kid. 331 00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:38,475 I see who you really are. 332 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,043 All you've seen 333 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,262 is the bedside of my manner. 334 00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:44,090 You haven't seen the bad side. 335 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,787 The real Hawkeye Pierce 336 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,920 is an egotistical, irresponsible martini-guzzler. 337 00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:50,922 Now who's the song and dance man? 338 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:52,837 Look, I can show you a roomful of women 339 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,883 as lack-of-character witnesses. 340 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,409 I can't-- 341 00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,021 I can't take advantage of your feelings for me. 342 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,286 And believe me, the thought has crossed my mind. 343 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,462 I'm sorry. I'm not convinced. 344 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:09,941 Hawkeye-- 345 00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:11,073 Marina... 346 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,122 you ought to be back home auditioning for musicals 347 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:20,865 and--and dating starving young actors... 348 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,869 eating those Delicious apples. 349 00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:32,181 I've seen too much ever to be wide-eyed again. 350 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,968 We're the wrong blood type. We don't match. 351 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,842 Innocence-positive and lechery-negative. 352 00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:45,803 Let me stay. I'll prove you're wrong. 353 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,501 No, no. It's not worth the risk. 354 00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:53,289 Remember, you did ask me not to leave a scar. 355 00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,862 Well, Sherm, I guess this is the big good-bye. 356 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:04,213 Sayonara, Brandy. Sure glad I had a chance to find out 357 00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,128 your beauty is more than skin deep. 358 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,130 Too bad we haven't got any more 359 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,045 of that high-class hooch of yours. 360 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,482 Well, at least it gave its life for a good hangover. 361 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,877 Good-bye, Sherm. 362 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,444 Good-bye, Miss Brandy. 363 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:20,186 If you ever find yourself amblin' through Missouri, 364 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,361 be sure to look me up. 365 00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,276 Oh, you bet I will. 366 00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,278 Mildred will cook us something special. 367 00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,454 Oh. 368 00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:29,978 But in case I don't, 369 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,371 good-bye, Sherm. 370 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,947 MULCAHY: Well, it's almost time to say good-bye, Sarah. 371 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:45,820 I guess so, Father. Thank you both. 372 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:48,083 You've given me some wonderful memories. 373 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,347 It'll be a while before we forget you too. 374 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,349 Well, Ellie, 375 00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:54,829 I guess the time has come 376 00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:57,179 to play out the coda to this little etude. 377 00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,007 And I suppose we could say good-bye. 378 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,791 Maybe so. 379 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,706 I do look forward to one day seeing you in Boston, 380 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,708 as a guest soloist at Symphony Hall. 381 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:06,667 Ooh. Then I look forward to seeing you 382 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,060 at your local beer parlor on oom-pah-pah night. 383 00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,062 Well, perhaps there's a roll or two left in my barrel. 384 00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,108 Shake. 385 00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:15,719 No, no, no. For real, Max. 386 00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,679 -For real. -Oh! Yeah. Yeah. 387 00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,815 Bye, Mike. You take good care of yourself, okay? 388 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,774 That goes double for you. 389 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,428 I'll look for you on the Hit Parade. 390 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,866 -Bye, doctor. -Bye-bye, Marina. 391 00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,694 Thanks for the help. You were wonderful. 392 00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:34,999 All aboard, Marina. 393 00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,263 Hey. Send you a postcard from Times Square. 394 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:39,047 At night, with all the lights. 395 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:41,789 I'd send you one from the Korean theater, 396 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,312 but it's always the same old story. 397 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,794 Well... 398 00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:49,840 Well, break a leg. 399 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,148 If I do, can you recommend a good doctor? 400 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:08,772 ♪ People of MASH, we adore you ♪ 401 00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:13,255 ♪ Right from the day we first saw you ♪ 402 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:17,781 ♪ This, all I've got, is meant for you ♪ 403 00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,697 ♪ People of MASH, we love you ♪ 404 00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:23,309 Okay, people, let's get back to work. The show is over. 405 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,788 -Bye! 406 00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:30,881 Sure does seem quiet around here. 407 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,361 It's the same kind of feeling I used to get 408 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,363 when the circus left town. 409 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,279 We certainly did have our three rings full, didn't we? 410 00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,933 All they left us was the tents. 411 00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:40,456 Listen, be grateful. At least they took Freddie 412 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,718 and his stupid jokes, hmm? 413 00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,285 KLINGER : Hey. 414 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:45,287 What's with the lock? I can't get in. 415 00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,071 We barred the door, Katie. 416 00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:48,551 Take your act on the road. 417 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,640 But seriously, I've given up comedy. 418 00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:53,208 I realize now my jokes are no laughing matter. 419 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,123 -No more jokes? -No. 420 00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:56,907 -You swear? -Yeah. 421 00:20:58,169 --> 00:20:59,388 Eh, all right. 31075

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