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1
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,447
♪ Shrimp boats are a-comin'
2
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:58,754
♪ Their sails are in sight
3
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:05,239
-Are you hit?
-No, I'm okay.
4
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:07,632
It's her stomach.
She's been having pains.
5
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:10,809
Well, well. Since when
did they put a stewardess
on this run?
6
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:13,334
She's with the U.S.O.
Medic thinks
it's her appendix.
7
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,120
That must be Marina's troupe.
8
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,253
Hello! Anybody home?
9
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:21,124
That's Brandy Doyle,
the stripper.
10
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,083
How would you know?
11
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,954
I saw her picture
in Lifemagazine.
12
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,347
Uh, fully clothed.
13
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,262
It is you!
Fast Freddie Nichols,
14
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,394
the funniest man ever
to set foot on his ankles.
15
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,181
Many's the time
you've beguiled
16
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:35,965
this wide-eyed
young doughboy
17
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:38,576
back in K.C. in the old
Gaiety Theater.
18
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,187
You caught my act?
19
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,972
Heck. One time
I caught your garter.
20
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,148
-How are you feeling?
-Great.
21
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:48,891
Thanks to a certain
wonderful doctor I know.
22
00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:50,197
Oh, I'll bet you say that
23
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,720
to all the wonderful
doctors you know.
24
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,330
I mean it.
25
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,202
Hey, you were just supposed
to take out her appendix,
26
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,117
not steal her heart.
27
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,466
That was G2 on the phone.
28
00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,902
There's an all-out
offensive.
29
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,773
All roads are restricted
to troop convoys only.
30
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,123
Nobody can leave.
You've been held over.
31
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,386
Hey, Freddie.
32
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,387
Yeah, huh?
33
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,345
Shake!
34
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:11,479
Make sure we've got plenty of
plasma, penicillin, bandages.
35
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:12,523
Order everything
times three.
36
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,177
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
37
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,223
Colonel, there's gotta be
some way to get out of here.
38
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,660
Mr. Nichols, let me put this
in show folks' lingo.
39
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,923
There's people out there
knockin' 'em dead.
40
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,751
Unless you want
your next review
41
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,187
to be in the obituaries,
42
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:25,710
you'll just have to
set here a spell.
43
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,843
But we gotta wind up
this tour on schedule,
44
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,888
or in army folks' lingo,
my club date in Hoboken
45
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,412
is gonna be right
down the latrine.
46
00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,414
I've been to Hoboken.
You're better off here.
47
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,937
You don't understand.
48
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,417
This could cost me
the chance of a lifetime.
49
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,158
My agent says
it's the perfect showcase
50
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,376
for Toast of the Town.
51
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:40,508
What's that?
52
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,118
What's that? Ed Sullivan!
53
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,251
The really big "shew."
54
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:46,166
-You all right, son?
-Oh!
55
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,733
Look, unless this Toast
of the Townfeller's
56
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,388
got scrambled eggs on his cap,
you're plumb outta luck.
57
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,912
-How's he doing?
-Vital signs are stable.
58
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:57,394
How you feeling, Nowicki?
59
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,615
Has he spoken at all?
60
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,312
No, not a word.
61
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,792
Okay, pal.
62
00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,576
If you don't feel like
talking, I understand.
63
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:09,276
But if you change your mind,
my number is "Hey, doc."
64
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:13,018
I will open with...five.
65
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:16,021
Hey, take it easy.
That stuff doesn't grow
on trees, you know.
66
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,459
Hey, B. J.,
what's the matter with him?
67
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,461
War's got his tongue.
68
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:27,032
Sherm!
69
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,947
-Hi, Sherm.
-Howdy, ma'am.
70
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,862
Sorry about the extended
engagement.
71
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,343
I know this ain't exactly
the Great White Way.
72
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:36,607
Oh, it's not the place.
It's the people.
73
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:40,176
I thought maybe you and I could
get together and have a drink.
74
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,570
I gotta warn you, if you
want to keep your insides
75
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,441
lookin' as good
as your outsides,
76
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,965
you better stay away from the
rotgut they serve around here.
77
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,532
Oh, don't worry about me.
78
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,534
I've had whiskey that'd
put hair on your glass.
79
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,057
Say, come to think of it,
80
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,972
I've got a bottle
of 12-year-old scotch
81
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,974
I've been saving
for a dry day.
82
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,499
Oh, Sherm,
your best scotch?
83
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:02,024
You oughta save that
for a special occasion.
I don't want to be--
84
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:05,245
Well, this is special.
It isn't every day
I get to rub elbows,
85
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,290
let alone bend 'em,
with a celebrity.
86
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,074
How about
the Officers Club?
87
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,642
12-year-old scotch
in the Officers Club?
88
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:14,079
You'd be amazed
how many friends
89
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,603
and how little booze
you'll have.
90
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,257
I guess you're right.
91
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,955
Maybe we better sip
the firewater in my wigwam.
92
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,609
Why, Sherman Potter!
93
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,872
Oh, well, n-no, I--I ju--
94
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:26,004
-I'll be there at 8:00.
-I--I--
95
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,876
I--I--I--I--
96
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:30,835
Hey, Sarah.
97
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,534
I'm emceeing
at a red-hot bingo game
98
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,100
in the Officers Club later.
99
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,277
-Care to join us?
-No, thanks, Father.
100
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,890
Not much fun being
stuck in the middle
of nowhere, is it?
101
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,283
Oh, it's not that.
102
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,068
Now it looks
like I may never get
103
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:48,288
to the 121st evac hospital.
104
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,724
Why is that so important?
105
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:54,337
Her brother was killed
in combat near here.
106
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,687
He died at the 121st.
107
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:59,255
-I'm sorry.
-To think I've
come all this way
108
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,865
to go home empty-handed.
109
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,259
What do you mean?
I don't understand.
110
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,349
What are you looking for?
Maybe we can help.
111
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:10,005
Well, most importantly,
a pair of ballet shoes.
112
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,444
My brother was in love
with a ballerina,
113
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,707
and they had planned
to get married.
114
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,579
And the night
before he shipped out,
115
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,103
she gave him a pair
of her toe shoes,
116
00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:24,846
and he treasured them
as his only link to her.
117
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:28,240
When his effects were returned,
the shoes weren't among them.
118
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,199
I thought if I
could find them,
119
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:33,158
his fiancée and I would have
a memory of him we could share.
120
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,987
You know, Sarah, if you
never received the shoes,
121
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,338
chances are they were
either lost or stolen
122
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,296
before they ever
reached the 121st.
123
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,820
What kind of an injury
did your brother have, Sarah?
124
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,256
A head wound.
125
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,997
They usually send
the neurosurgical cases
126
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,303
to the 8063rd.
127
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,566
I know the chaplain there.
128
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,352
I could call him and ask
him about the shoes.
129
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,528
Where's Marina?
130
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,225
Oh, she wanted to visit,
131
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,314
so I flagged down the first
wheelchair that came by.
132
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:02,187
I bet there are a lot of things
you're lookin' forward to
133
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:03,580
when you get home,
huh, Michael?
134
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:09,543
Well, what I'm lookin'
forward to most
135
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:13,895
is a big bite
of a Golden Delicious apple.
136
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:18,465
Not an ordinary apple
like you get in the market.
137
00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:19,988
I'm from Washington State,
138
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,903
where we pluck 'em
right off the tree.
139
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,122
They're so...fresh
140
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,777
that they crackle when you
sink your teeth into 'em.
141
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,605
And inside, snow white.
142
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,219
Thought it couldn't
hurt to try.
143
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:35,612
If I was an apple,
144
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:37,614
I'd want you
to deliver my eulogy.
145
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,877
Listen to her, Nowicki.
She'll keep the doctor away.
146
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,053
Thanks for trying, Marina.
147
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,446
He didn't say anything,
148
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,143
but I think maybe he heard me.
149
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,971
Now that you're on the case,
150
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,931
maybe he'll start showing
signs of showing signs.
151
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,802
-You were terrific.
-Thanks.
152
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,545
Mm, Mm-mm.
153
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,243
What's the matter?
154
00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,071
I think you may be pushing
your recovery a little bit.
155
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,204
Oh, Hawkeye, I feel fine.
156
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,640
Yeah, well, your lips
may have a relapse.
157
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,337
They're not even
on solid food yet.
158
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:06,687
Try to get some sleep.
159
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:12,867
Hey, doc?
160
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:20,178
Will you tell her
that I like apples too?
161
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,791
Yeah, sure.
162
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,501
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
163
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,068
I didn't have a thing to wear.
164
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,636
Wow! I'll show you in
165
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,073
just as soon as I can
let go of the door.
166
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,641
Oh, I think
I can find my way.
167
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,515
Didn't realize you were
gonna wear your Class A's.
168
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:55,431
Well, it was a choice of this
or my working clothes,
169
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,434
and I figured it was
a little bit chilly for them.
170
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:02,786
That's funny.
I was just beginning
to notice how warm it is.
171
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:05,223
Well, enough
about the weather.
172
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,748
How would you like
to offer a lady a belt?
173
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,445
Oh. Comin' right up.
174
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:21,718
Now, watch this stuff.
175
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,503
It's got more kick
than the Rockettes.
176
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,420
How about a toast?
177
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,553
To two old war horses.
178
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,513
May your tassels soon
twirl in peacetime.
179
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:34,688
Amen.
180
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:42,173
Ooh, Sherm, this is good.
181
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:46,438
Not enough O's in "smooth"
to describe this.
182
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,540
He's right here.
Hold on, Chaplain.
183
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:05,414
Charlie, there's a young woman
here with a U.S.O. troupe
184
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,895
who's trying to locate her
brother's personal effects.
185
00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,331
He was a K.I.A.
186
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:13,901
Well, primarily,
a pair of ballet shoes.
187
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:16,294
No, no, they were
kind of a keepsake.
188
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:19,602
I'd appreciate it if you could
check your lost and found.
189
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:23,432
Well, if you find them,
please call me here.
190
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,347
Uh, thanks, Charlie. Bye-bye.
191
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:29,481
Well, he'll do what he can.
192
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,309
Thanks.
193
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:35,792
-Beautiful!
194
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,321
What's the matter,
Major?
195
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,454
Didn't I soothe
your savage breast?
196
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,630
No offense, Miss Carlyle,
197
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,110
but I've always been
of the opinion
198
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,677
that squeezing is a technique
199
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,636
best suited to making
orange juice, not music.
200
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,465
Oh. My, you do have
a way with arrogance.
201
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:57,945
Well, I've just never
been a devotee
202
00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,599
of musical instruments
that one has to wear.
203
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,731
Oh! This old thing.
204
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:05,300
-Here, hold my wrap.
-I don't want to h--
205
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,389
Maybe I should, uh,
try a little of this?
206
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:10,653
Going to
favor us with a selection
of boogie-woogie?
207
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:34,242
Any other requests
from the boogie man?
208
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,958
I am sorry, Eleanor.
209
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,787
I had no idea
you were so versatile.
210
00:10:57,831 --> 00:11:01,661
Why are you wasting your time
with that overgrown concertina?
211
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,097
I like to eat.
212
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,056
Play something
we can dance to.
213
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,190
No, no, no, no, no!
Don't listen to those boors.
214
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,931
Oh, come on, Major.
215
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,020
Doesn't it get lonely
up there in your ivory tower?
216
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,587
Even Dvorak and Brahms
wrote folk dances, you know.
217
00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,851
-I--
218
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:21,985
Come on, Major.
You wanna dance?
219
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,466
I thought you'd never ask.
220
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,954
It's a good thing
that stuff is almost gone.
221
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:36,608
Any more and we could
get swizzled.
222
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,004
A toast.
223
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,659
To twirling tassels.
224
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,012
Oh, you know, Sherm,
225
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:53,103
it's a shame we didn't meet
back in those days of K.C.
226
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:57,107
We could have had
one whizbang of a blowout.
227
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,544
Oh, when I first caught
a glimpse of you
228
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:02,591
and your no-nonsense ways,
229
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:05,768
that sparkle in your eye...
230
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:09,032
Oh, I like a man who's been
pushed around a little by life
231
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:12,079
and who just pushes
right back.
232
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:15,299
Oh, Sherm, you got spunk.
233
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,137
About this priest in Dublin--
234
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,965
a parishioner, Mr. O'Malley,
comes to him, and he says,
235
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:31,489
"Father Casey, you've
got to help me out."
236
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,188
So Father Casey
says to O'Malley,
237
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,103
"You'll have plenty
to feed your ten children
238
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,844
if you plant potatoes
in the spring,
239
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,150
"corn in the summer,
cabbage in the fall,
240
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,065
and let your wife
decide what to do
241
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,850
in the cold winter months."
242
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:47,462
Then O'Malley says, "Father,
you don't understand."
243
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:50,813
"That's how I got the ten
kids in the first place."
244
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:53,207
How did you know that?
I just wrote it.
245
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,253
Fat chance, Groucho.
That's a seminary standard.
246
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:57,994
The First Commandment
of comedy
247
00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:00,040
is "Thou Shalt Not Steal."
248
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,435
Now, would you try
to get the 8063rd again?
249
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:07,003
Sure, Father.
Boy, everybody's a comedian.
250
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,922
Hello, Sparky.
251
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,402
Is this a bad connection,
252
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,621
or are you eating
breakfast cereal?
253
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,972
Breakfast cereal.
Never mind.
254
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:22,453
Uh, I want to get
through to the 8063rd.
255
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,542
Oh. Hold on.
256
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,066
Communications blackout.
257
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,589
I'll bet you
there's a Red Chinese
258
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:29,243
with a copy of Berlitz
eavesdropping on every phone.
259
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,506
A regular Communist
party line.
260
00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:34,030
I have to find out
if there's any word
on the ballet shoes.
261
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:35,727
-Sorry, Father.
-Bother!
262
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,776
Just wanted to make sure
you were decent.
263
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,170
I've got a surprise for you.
264
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:45,955
Hi.
265
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:51,265
He insisted on returning
your visit.
266
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,879
Hi, Michael.
267
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,838
I like my friends
to call me Mike.
268
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,536
Okay. Mike.
269
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,364
Are they treatin' you okay?
270
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,279
Nothing to worry about, Mike.
271
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,542
I got the greatest doctor
in the world.
272
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,152
Well, that's good.
273
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,893
And if they start
givin' you a hard time,
274
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,808
just tell 'em they'll
have to answer to Nowicki.
275
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:17,291
How about that?
Words are coming out.
276
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,641
His lips are moving,
and nobody has a hand
in his back.
277
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,904
Nice, huh?
From no talk to sweet talk.
278
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,558
She's just amazing.
279
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:25,168
I'd like to prescribe
a few minutes with her
280
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:26,866
to every kid
who comes through here.
281
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,780
MAN : Attention!
Incoming wounded!
282
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,521
Hurry while there's
still a wide selection
283
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,306
of models and colors
to choose from.
284
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:33,916
We'll have a lot
of prescriptions
for her to fill.
285
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,093
You're gonna be okay,
Private.
286
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,921
Nothing broken,
leaking, or AWOL.
287
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,575
Thanks, doc. Oh!
288
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,359
Here.
289
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,665
What's this?
290
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,148
Don't tell me you were wounded
at the battle of Swan Lake?
291
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,889
Battalion Aid gave 'em to me.
292
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,760
Said I was supposed
to deliver 'em here.
293
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:54,284
Said they were
from the 8063rd.
294
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,633
They found them!
295
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,287
She's always nervous
on opening night.
296
00:14:57,331 --> 00:15:00,029
Father Mulcahy!
They found them!
297
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:02,597
That's wonderful!
Wonderful!
298
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,208
Sarah! Sarah!
299
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:08,516
Miss Miller!
Sarah, they found them!
300
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:09,734
KELLYE: Father Mulcahy!
301
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:11,562
Over here!
We need a hand!
302
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,173
Father, where
did they come from?
303
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:29,276
-Hi.
-Shh. You'll wake me.
304
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,147
You do look exhausted.
305
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:34,585
I've been operating
since dawn's early light.
306
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,109
This is a very
particular crowd.
307
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:39,242
They want all their insides
put back inside.
308
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,852
I just wanted to come by
and see how you were feeling
309
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,071
before I went to sleep.
310
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,681
Did I make it?
311
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:47,903
You're sweet to take such
good care of me, Hawkeye.
312
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,079
That's one of the things
I wanted to talk to you about.
313
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:53,735
The travel restrictions
have been lifted.
314
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:56,085
Your friends are going
to the 121st evac
tomorrow morning.
315
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,782
You'll be
able to join them.
316
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,786
Do I really have to go?
317
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,745
Well, we have this whole
new batch of wounded.
318
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,051
They're taking numbers
for beds.
319
00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,750
Well, I could stay
in the VIP tent.
320
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,665
I'd be out
of everybody's way there
321
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:13,015
and still near you.
322
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,234
Near me, huh?
323
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:16,584
You mean a great deal to me.
324
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,716
You don't even know me.
325
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,109
I know enough.
326
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,721
Marina, when you came here,
327
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,201
you were sick.
328
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,812
I--I literally
swept you off your feet.
329
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,599
All you see is a miracle man
in a white suit.
330
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:36,343
Oh, come on, Hawkeye.
I'm not a kid.
331
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:38,475
I see who you really are.
332
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,043
All you've seen
333
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,262
is the bedside of my manner.
334
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:44,090
You haven't
seen the bad side.
335
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,787
The real Hawkeye Pierce
336
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,920
is an egotistical,
irresponsible martini-guzzler.
337
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:50,922
Now who's the song
and dance man?
338
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:52,837
Look, I can show you
a roomful of women
339
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,883
as lack-of-character
witnesses.
340
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,409
I can't--
341
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,021
I can't take advantage
of your feelings for me.
342
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,286
And believe me, the thought
has crossed my mind.
343
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,462
I'm sorry.
I'm not convinced.
344
00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:09,941
Hawkeye--
345
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:11,073
Marina...
346
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,122
you ought to be back home
auditioning for musicals
347
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:20,865
and--and dating
starving young actors...
348
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,869
eating those Delicious apples.
349
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:32,181
I've seen too much
ever to be wide-eyed again.
350
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,968
We're the wrong blood type.
We don't match.
351
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,842
Innocence-positive
and lechery-negative.
352
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:45,803
Let me stay.
I'll prove you're wrong.
353
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,501
No, no.
It's not worth the risk.
354
00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:53,289
Remember, you did ask me
not to leave a scar.
355
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,862
Well, Sherm, I guess
this is the big good-bye.
356
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:04,213
Sayonara, Brandy. Sure glad
I had a chance to find out
357
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,128
your beauty is more
than skin deep.
358
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,130
Too bad we haven't
got any more
359
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,045
of that high-class
hooch of yours.
360
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,482
Well, at least it gave its
life for a good hangover.
361
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,877
Good-bye, Sherm.
362
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,444
Good-bye, Miss Brandy.
363
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:20,186
If you ever find yourself
amblin' through Missouri,
364
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,361
be sure to look me up.
365
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,276
Oh, you bet I will.
366
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,278
Mildred will cook us
something special.
367
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,454
Oh.
368
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:29,978
But in case I don't,
369
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,371
good-bye, Sherm.
370
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,947
MULCAHY: Well, it's almost
time to say good-bye, Sarah.
371
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:45,820
I guess so, Father.
Thank you both.
372
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:48,083
You've given me
some wonderful memories.
373
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,347
It'll be a while
before we forget you too.
374
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,349
Well, Ellie,
375
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:54,829
I guess the time has come
376
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:57,179
to play out the coda
to this little etude.
377
00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,007
And I suppose
we could say good-bye.
378
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,791
Maybe so.
379
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,706
I do look forward to one day
seeing you in Boston,
380
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,708
as a guest soloist
at Symphony Hall.
381
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:06,667
Ooh. Then I look forward
to seeing you
382
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,060
at your local beer parlor
on oom-pah-pah night.
383
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,062
Well, perhaps there's a roll
or two left in my barrel.
384
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,108
Shake.
385
00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:15,719
No, no, no. For real, Max.
386
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,679
-For real.
-Oh! Yeah. Yeah.
387
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,815
Bye, Mike. You take good
care of yourself, okay?
388
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,774
That goes double for you.
389
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,428
I'll look for you
on the Hit Parade.
390
00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,866
-Bye, doctor.
-Bye-bye, Marina.
391
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:33,694
Thanks for the help.
You were wonderful.
392
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:34,999
All aboard, Marina.
393
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,263
Hey. Send you a postcard
from Times Square.
394
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:39,047
At night,
with all the lights.
395
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:41,789
I'd send you one
from the Korean theater,
396
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,312
but it's always
the same old story.
397
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,794
Well...
398
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:49,840
Well, break a leg.
399
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,148
If I do, can you
recommend a good doctor?
400
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:08,772
♪ People of MASH,
we adore you ♪
401
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:13,255
♪ Right from the day
we first saw you ♪
402
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:17,781
♪ This, all I've got,
is meant for you ♪
403
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,697
♪ People of MASH,
we love you ♪
404
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:23,309
Okay, people, let's get back
to work. The show is over.
405
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,788
-Bye!
406
00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:30,881
Sure does seem quiet
around here.
407
00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,361
It's the same kind of
feeling I used to get
408
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,363
when the circus left town.
409
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,279
We certainly did have
our three rings full,
didn't we?
410
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,933
All they left us
was the tents.
411
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:40,456
Listen, be grateful.
At least they took Freddie
412
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,718
and his stupid jokes, hmm?
413
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,285
KLINGER : Hey.
414
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:45,287
What's with the lock?
I can't get in.
415
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,071
We barred the door,
Katie.
416
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:48,551
Take your act on the road.
417
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,640
But seriously,
I've given up comedy.
418
00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:53,208
I realize now my jokes
are no laughing matter.
419
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,123
-No more jokes?
-No.
420
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:56,907
-You swear?
-Yeah.
421
00:20:58,169 --> 00:20:59,388
Eh, all right.
31075
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