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1
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_
2
00:00:06,633 --> 00:00:09,209
I appreciate all the tableside
prep, but this is a lot of work.
3
00:00:09,211 --> 00:00:10,944
Yeah, you guys sure you don't
want to just go out to eat?
4
00:00:10,946 --> 00:00:13,079
- Ah, no. Come on.
- No. Who needs the hassle?
5
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,914
Look, we've got delicious food, you know?
6
00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:17,450
- Cold drinks.
- Good company.
7
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,052
Still afraid to leave
the baby with the sitter?
8
00:00:19,054 --> 00:00:20,787
Well, one of us is.
9
00:00:20,789 --> 00:00:22,522
I just, I don't... I
have a hard time believing
10
00:00:22,524 --> 00:00:24,791
anyone's gonna be as
careful as I am, you know?
11
00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:26,759
Oh. Uh-oh. Oh. Oh, gosh. Oh. Oh, no.
12
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:29,129
- Oh, baby. Are you okay?
- I think I sliced my hand.
13
00:00:29,131 --> 00:00:30,020
- That's a lot of blood.
- Oh...
14
00:00:30,075 --> 00:00:30,912
Lot of blood there.
15
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:32,056
- Here you go.
- Thank you, thank you.
16
00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:32,748
- Thank you, thank you.
- Sorry.
17
00:00:32,868 --> 00:00:34,134
I'm very sorry, are you okay?
18
00:00:34,136 --> 00:00:35,173
Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
19
00:00:35,293 --> 00:00:36,608
- There's a lot of blood.
- Yeah.
20
00:00:36,728 --> 00:00:37,797
- What's happening with him?
- I don't know.
21
00:00:37,917 --> 00:00:39,228
- Is this a thing?
- You don't wanna know.
22
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,311
- Let's get you out of here.
- That'll help.
23
00:00:40,351 --> 00:00:41,641
- Are you gonna puke?
- Let's get you to the hospital.
24
00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:43,042
He's really afraid of blood.
25
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,577
- It's gonna solve everything.
- Oh, no, no, we can't go.
26
00:00:44,579 --> 00:00:46,012
They'll be fine. You guys
can watch Lark, right?
27
00:00:46,014 --> 00:00:47,313
We're good. Yeah, you guys go.
28
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:48,615
Have you held a human baby before?
29
00:00:48,617 --> 00:00:49,682
You guys are gonna be okay.
30
00:00:49,684 --> 00:00:50,917
- Yeah, you go, you go.
- We're gonna be absolutely fine.
31
00:00:50,919 --> 00:00:51,551
They'll be fine, they'll be fine,
32
00:00:51,591 --> 00:00:52,602
- they'll be fine, they'll be fine.
- Okay. All right.
33
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:55,054
Seriously, just call me
if anything bad happens.
34
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,456
- No problem, brother.
- Really?! With the chips?!
35
00:00:56,458 --> 00:00:57,824
I'm sorry. I'm not sure when
36
00:00:57,826 --> 00:00:59,225
we're gonna be able to eat again.
37
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,727
I'm still waiting for stitches,
38
00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:02,695
so if the baby wakes up,
just give her a bottle,
39
00:01:02,697 --> 00:01:05,036
lukewarm, splash it on your
face to test the temperature.
40
00:01:05,085 --> 00:01:06,854
I know most people say the
wrist, but that's wrong.
41
00:01:06,974 --> 00:01:08,543
Skin is too tough. Oh, you know what?
42
00:01:08,663 --> 00:01:10,703
I think I'm up next. I'm
gonna call you back, okay?
43
00:01:10,705 --> 00:01:12,205
Okay. Bye-bye.
44
00:01:12,207 --> 00:01:13,540
Bleeker?
45
00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:14,741
Mr. Bleeker?
46
00:01:15,844 --> 00:01:17,644
What is that? What is that?
47
00:01:17,646 --> 00:01:19,445
We were here way before
him. He's not even bleeding.
48
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,848
I heard him earlier; he said
he was having chest pains.
49
00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:24,083
He's fine. He just ate a bag of pork rinds.
50
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,820
Is he okay?
51
00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,722
He's up, he's up. He's living.
52
00:01:29,842 --> 00:01:31,124
He's living.
53
00:01:31,126 --> 00:01:33,526
And, you know, I think we're next, so...
54
00:01:34,017 --> 00:01:35,295
You think they forgot us?
55
00:01:35,297 --> 00:01:36,596
No, honey.
56
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:38,264
I'm gonna go ask.
57
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,266
- Oh, no, please don't do that.
- No, no, I'm just asking.
58
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,234
Don't do that.
59
00:01:41,236 --> 00:01:42,602
I'm just asking, and I'm so nice.
60
00:01:42,604 --> 00:01:44,404
People say I'm very
nice in these situations.
61
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,207
You know, I'm accommodating
as a person, and I just have
62
00:01:47,209 --> 00:01:49,442
an open heart and open energy.
63
00:01:49,444 --> 00:01:51,778
Hi. Excuse me.
64
00:01:51,898 --> 00:01:53,546
We will get to you when we get to you.
65
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:56,249
Oh, okay. Well, the thing is, I
just, I have a new baby at home.
66
00:01:56,251 --> 00:01:58,084
We will get to you when we get to you.
67
00:01:58,086 --> 00:02:00,353
So... when are you gonna get to me?
68
00:02:00,355 --> 00:02:02,555
I'm just kidding. Yeah. I got that.
69
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,757
All right, well, I'll just be over here.
70
00:02:08,263 --> 00:02:10,163
She does like me... it's just,
71
00:02:10,165 --> 00:02:12,398
she has a different way of showing it
72
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,967
at the moment.
73
00:02:13,969 --> 00:02:15,568
Okay, you know what?
74
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,770
Why don't we go for a
walk, get you out of here?
75
00:02:17,772 --> 00:02:19,639
You're starting to drive yourself crazy.
76
00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:20,907
Do you think I should text Matt
77
00:02:20,909 --> 00:02:22,108
and just make sure everything's okay?
78
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:23,810
Well... but I thought you already did that.
79
00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:25,245
I thought he said everything was fine.
80
00:02:25,247 --> 00:02:27,580
Well, he did text me
that everything was okay,
81
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,949
but he put a period instead
of an exclamation point,
82
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:31,684
and to me, that feels worrisome.
83
00:02:31,686 --> 00:02:34,020
Okay, you want to know what,
let's get out of here, okay?
84
00:02:34,022 --> 00:02:35,154
All right, come on.
85
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,156
Uh, excuse me, ma'am,
you have our cell phone.
86
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,391
We're just gonna...
87
00:02:38,393 --> 00:02:40,460
We will get to you when we get to you!
88
00:02:40,462 --> 00:02:42,228
Okay, great. Thank you so much.
89
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,364
So glad you two could finally meet.
90
00:02:44,366 --> 00:02:46,099
Let's walk around, okay?
91
00:02:46,101 --> 00:02:48,034
That doesn't look good,
what he's got going on.
92
00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:50,103
Yeah, well, he may have to go before you.
93
00:02:50,105 --> 00:02:53,740
"Art therapy helps patients
connect with emotions
94
00:02:53,742 --> 00:02:55,441
words cannot convey"
95
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:59,012
The main emotion here,
to me, seems to be...
96
00:02:59,014 --> 00:03:00,847
I broke both my hands.
97
00:03:00,849 --> 00:03:02,115
I mean, this here
98
00:03:02,117 --> 00:03:03,650
obviously is a meditation
99
00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,785
on the pain of living with flat feet.
100
00:03:05,787 --> 00:03:08,021
- It really just... cuts to the bone.
- Gets you right...
101
00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:09,979
- Yeah, right there, right?
- Gets you right there, doesn't it?
102
00:03:10,099 --> 00:03:10,940
- Yeah.
- That's what art does.
103
00:03:10,994 --> 00:03:12,061
- I'm emotional.
- It's the power of art.
104
00:03:12,395 --> 00:03:14,827
- How's the finger?
- Honestly, I'm just glad
105
00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:17,263
it wasn't the picker or
the flipper, you know?
106
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,132
I need those.
107
00:03:19,134 --> 00:03:22,335
Why would anybody complain
about hospital food?
108
00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:25,138
I mean, we got hot and cold and...
109
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:26,773
creamy and crunchy
110
00:03:26,775 --> 00:03:29,475
all in one bite... I mean,
all the bases are covered.
111
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,778
Honestly, anyone who
doesn't like a tater tot
112
00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,346
isn't someone I want to know.
113
00:03:33,348 --> 00:03:34,547
Yeah.
114
00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:38,584
Hey. When's the last time
it was just the two of us?
115
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,486
Oh, God, I don't know.
116
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,121
- I like it.
- Yeah.
117
00:03:42,123 --> 00:03:43,656
It's kind of like we're on a date.
118
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,158
- It's kind of romantic.
- Yeah.
119
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,060
My diaper's full.
120
00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:50,563
Well...
121
00:03:50,565 --> 00:03:53,266
tonight, someone else changes the diapers.
122
00:03:53,268 --> 00:03:54,734
All right.
123
00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:56,869
Cheers to that.
124
00:03:56,871 --> 00:03:58,104
Okay.
125
00:03:58,106 --> 00:04:01,207
Do you want sweet, salty or nasal strip?
126
00:04:01,209 --> 00:04:04,010
Uh... let's let fate decide.
127
00:04:04,012 --> 00:04:07,280
- Oh, look who's changing.
- You know? What do you say?
128
00:04:07,282 --> 00:04:09,182
- Okay, ready?
- Yeah.
129
00:04:13,021 --> 00:04:14,654
Shower cap?
130
00:04:14,656 --> 00:04:16,923
That's a burn.
131
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,358
Please help me.
132
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,594
I feel like I'm sitting
in a casserole dish.
133
00:04:21,596 --> 00:04:24,097
I came in for a slight cough.
134
00:04:24,099 --> 00:04:26,733
How did this go downhill so quickly?
135
00:04:26,735 --> 00:04:29,035
Okay, that reminds me.
136
00:04:29,037 --> 00:04:31,738
You know, one day, I
am going to be that old,
137
00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:33,706
and I want you to promise me something.
138
00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,475
Yeah, I'll pull the plug, absolutely.
139
00:04:35,477 --> 00:04:37,944
- No, that was not...
- That wasn't where you were going?
140
00:04:37,946 --> 00:04:39,398
- That was not where I was going.
- Oh, sorry.
141
00:04:39,449 --> 00:04:40,421
But that's good to know.
142
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:42,515
- It would be out of love.
- Yes, of course.
143
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:44,951
You know, who wants to sit in a
casserole dish? Let's go again.
144
00:04:44,953 --> 00:04:46,252
- Let's just double up.
- Okay, ready?
145
00:04:46,254 --> 00:04:49,021
- All right, here we go.
- Five, six, seven, eight.
146
00:04:51,059 --> 00:04:53,126
Another shower cap?
147
00:04:54,095 --> 00:04:57,063
What is fate trying to tell us?
148
00:04:57,065 --> 00:04:58,765
I love how, like,
149
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:00,309
artsy and European it is, you know?
150
00:05:00,352 --> 00:05:01,885
Like, they don't just
go for the happy ending.
151
00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:03,030
Mm, so true.
152
00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,071
According to this, I've
had, like, eight strokes.
153
00:05:05,073 --> 00:05:06,672
- Mm.
- Short?
154
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:09,409
Jennifer Short?
155
00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:11,811
I'm having such a good time, I hate to go.
156
00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:13,679
Yeah, me, too. Come on.
157
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,047
- Ms. Short?
- Okay.
158
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:16,349
Step aside, please! Coming through!
159
00:05:16,351 --> 00:05:17,483
Multiple-car pileup!
160
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,118
We got more on the way.
161
00:05:20,221 --> 00:05:21,921
So does that... are we...
162
00:05:21,923 --> 00:05:24,624
We'll get to you when we get to you.
163
00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:29,295
- Hey, you know what I heard?
- Hmm?
164
00:05:29,297 --> 00:05:30,496
There's a wheelchair basketball game
165
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,764
over in the physical therapy wing.
166
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:32,999
Ooh, let's go.
167
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,133
I'll get your purse.
168
00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:36,969
- Oh, thanks, honey.
- Mm-hmm.
169
00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:40,373
Hey, have you heard from Matt and Colleen?
170
00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:42,041
Oh, yeah. Baby's fine.
171
00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,643
But Matt threw up.
172
00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:45,478
Hmm.
173
00:05:50,002 --> 00:05:51,502
_
174
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:54,190
You must be Heather.
175
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,555
Oh. Hi.
176
00:05:55,557 --> 00:05:56,923
You're... Steffan?
177
00:05:57,169 --> 00:05:59,225
Effan. The "S" and the "T" are silent.
178
00:05:59,227 --> 00:06:00,460
Oh.
179
00:06:00,462 --> 00:06:02,228
So, is this your first time posing
180
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:03,452
- in your underwear?
- Mm-hmm.
181
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:07,633
All right, just do what feels
natural on a leopard skin bed.
182
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,168
Okay.
183
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:10,436
Oh, God, Brigitte Bardot, is that...
184
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,438
Oh. It's you. It's you.
185
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,240
Hi. Give me "hi."
186
00:06:14,242 --> 00:06:15,741
- Hi.
- Hello.
187
00:06:16,611 --> 00:06:18,578
Yeah, there you go. Tiger.
188
00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:23,683
Wow, you're blowing my mind. I
can't believe you're not a pro.
189
00:06:23,685 --> 00:06:25,084
Are these for your husband?
190
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,319
Yeah, it's our anniversary in six weeks.
191
00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:27,987
These will be ready by then, right?
192
00:06:27,989 --> 00:06:29,222
Sure. Yeah.
193
00:06:29,424 --> 00:06:30,890
- _
- Come on.
194
00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:32,425
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
195
00:06:32,427 --> 00:06:33,559
What's this?
196
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,094
Same day shipping?
197
00:06:35,096 --> 00:06:37,396
Oh, don't mind if I do.
198
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,598
Do mind if I don't.
199
00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:43,703
No one's here for the good ones.
200
00:06:43,705 --> 00:06:45,404
Mmm.
201
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:46,939
One of these. That'll do it.
202
00:06:46,941 --> 00:06:48,774
Happy anniversary, babe.
203
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,309
Thank you.
204
00:06:50,311 --> 00:06:52,411
Okay. What did you get?
205
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,982
Bible Chess.
206
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,185
Yeah. It's a... it's a
board game for the family.
207
00:06:59,187 --> 00:07:00,820
I don't know how to play it yet,
208
00:07:00,822 --> 00:07:02,621
but it had a ton of five star reviews.
209
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,057
Patsy from Arkansas
called it "a real hoot."
210
00:07:05,059 --> 00:07:06,592
Wow. Okay.
211
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,828
Well... thank you.
212
00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:10,096
Mm-hmm.
213
00:07:10,098 --> 00:07:11,530
- Mm...
- Oh, yeah.
214
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,666
Okay.
215
00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:17,236
Um... I have something for you, too.
216
00:07:17,238 --> 00:07:18,938
Oh!
217
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:20,172
Cool wrapping.
218
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:21,974
That's fabric from my wedding dress.
219
00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:23,008
Okay.
220
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:25,978
A book?
221
00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,580
What in the world?
222
00:07:27,582 --> 00:07:29,949
- Open it up.
- Ah...
223
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:38,457
This is hilarious!
224
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:39,692
Hilarious?
225
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,396
- Hilariously... sexy.
- Ah.
226
00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:47,666
- And hot and not funny at all.
- Mm.
227
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:48,868
- Yeah, too late.
- No, wait!
228
00:07:48,870 --> 00:07:50,136
No, you caught me off guard!
229
00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:51,403
I was like, I thought maybe it was a gag,
230
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:53,506
like that time you texted me your boobs.
231
00:07:53,508 --> 00:07:55,174
That wasn't a gag!
232
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,411
Do you know what I did
to make that for you?
233
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:02,581
I went to the gym every day for two weeks.
234
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:07,520
I waxed myself until I
was hairless as an egg.
235
00:08:09,123 --> 00:08:10,723
I had things bleached.
236
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,225
I literally exposed myself for you,
237
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:14,794
and all you do is click a button.
238
00:08:14,796 --> 00:08:16,729
No, Heather, look, you know
I'm no good at presents.
239
00:08:16,731 --> 00:08:17,963
It's just not my thing.
240
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,765
Well, make it your thing.
241
00:08:32,814 --> 00:08:34,814
- Hello, Tim.
- Whoa!
242
00:08:34,816 --> 00:08:36,715
Heather said she found my sunglasses.
243
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,385
Oh, yeah.
244
00:08:41,122 --> 00:08:42,855
Oh, it's 'cause they got
a little baby oil on there.
245
00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:44,356
That'll come right off.
246
00:08:47,295 --> 00:08:50,095
So, you're not gonna ask me
why I'm dressed like this?
247
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,030
No. No, I'm not.
248
00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:54,800
So this... seems normal to you?
249
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,169
- Didn't say that.
- Okay.
250
00:08:57,171 --> 00:08:59,505
Look, as long as you're
here, can you help me, please?
251
00:08:59,565 --> 00:09:00,006
Hmm.
252
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,905
I'm trying to get a
flattering picture of my butt,
253
00:09:01,956 --> 00:09:03,142
and I just can't find the right angle.
254
00:09:03,144 --> 00:09:05,177
I think I'm just being too hard on myself.
255
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:06,979
- You're not.
- Look, please?
256
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:08,653
This is the only thing I can do
257
00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:09,849
to make things right with your sister.
258
00:09:09,851 --> 00:09:11,483
Oh, Tim, I don't know what you did wrong,
259
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:14,119
but I can guarantee you
that this is not the fix.
260
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:17,857
I called her naked body "hilarious"
261
00:09:17,859 --> 00:09:19,925
I'm gonna miss you.
262
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,429
I will give you $200.
263
00:09:23,431 --> 00:09:25,197
Okay, bend over.
264
00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:28,634
Awesome. Awesome.
265
00:09:53,294 --> 00:09:55,494
It's okay.
266
00:09:55,496 --> 00:09:56,662
He's paying me.
267
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:14,647
What's that?
268
00:10:14,649 --> 00:10:16,815
Nothing. Just an apology.
269
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,263
That is sexy.
270
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:32,431
It's okay, you can laugh.
271
00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:35,134
Wow! You're my chunk of burnin' love.
272
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,735
I was there. You don't
have to show it to me.
273
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,704
Well, oh, my... look at you there.
274
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:39,738
Oh, my...
275
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:43,309
It's, uh...
276
00:10:43,311 --> 00:10:45,010
- Oh, that's not our anniversary.
- I know.
277
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:48,213
I-I marked it six weeks
out so I could plan ahead.
278
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,615
And then this is...
279
00:10:49,617 --> 00:10:51,450
four weeks, for when I keep putting it off
280
00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:53,052
because it's six weeks away.
281
00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:57,089
That is incredibly sweet.
282
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,925
I'm sorry I laughed at your book.
283
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,194
You are the most beautiful
woman in the world,
284
00:11:02,196 --> 00:11:03,796
and I am not worthy of you.
285
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:05,211
Well...
286
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,000
that is absolutely true.
287
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:10,636
Come here.
288
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:13,038
Give me a big kiss.
289
00:11:14,162 --> 00:11:15,841
Who took these for you?
290
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:19,211
I'm gonna need as many copies
of this as I can get for $200.
291
00:11:20,135 --> 00:11:21,835
_
292
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,921
I'm gonna write all
the swears I know.
293
00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:30,790
"Boogers.
294
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,224
Bum."
295
00:11:34,948 --> 00:11:36,648
_
296
00:11:37,092 --> 00:11:38,533
Listen, young lady, we do not use
297
00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:39,780
language like that in this house.
298
00:11:39,834 --> 00:11:40,752
I want you to go in your room.
299
00:11:40,813 --> 00:11:41,880
You are on a time-out.
300
00:11:41,882 --> 00:11:44,078
- Fine!
- Fine!
301
00:11:44,198 --> 00:11:46,618
Your party's gonna fall apart without me.
302
00:11:46,861 --> 00:11:49,154
I'm the one with the best stories.
303
00:11:49,156 --> 00:11:50,488
Hey. Just so you know?
304
00:11:50,490 --> 00:11:52,290
Every time you talk, it starts over.
305
00:11:52,292 --> 00:11:55,293
Fine. Then I'll say one last thing.
306
00:11:55,413 --> 00:11:57,695
This... sucks!
307
00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:05,848
Sorry, Franklin.
308
00:12:06,466 --> 00:12:08,339
You didn't deserve that.
309
00:12:12,245 --> 00:12:14,379
Why do I always get in trouble?
310
00:12:14,381 --> 00:12:16,981
Mom and Dad use that
word all the time.
311
00:12:16,983 --> 00:12:18,650
I'm just gonna say it.
312
00:12:18,652 --> 00:12:20,118
Ass.
313
00:12:24,858 --> 00:12:26,925
How do I not have a Minion toy?
314
00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:29,427
There's nothing to do in here.
315
00:12:29,429 --> 00:12:33,231
When I'm older, I'm gonna
have three TVs in my room
316
00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:35,433
and my bed's just gonna
be a giant remote,
317
00:12:35,435 --> 00:12:38,670
so when I roll over,
it changes channels.
318
00:12:38,672 --> 00:12:40,805
And Mom is gonna be my maid,
319
00:12:40,807 --> 00:12:43,441
and Samantha's gonna
live in the toilet.
320
00:12:49,182 --> 00:12:51,115
I still had them in there,
321
00:12:51,117 --> 00:12:53,017
and, yeah, Mom was going, "Go"
322
00:12:53,019 --> 00:12:54,719
I didn't like the orange one...
323
00:12:54,721 --> 00:12:56,454
Look at her down there.
324
00:12:56,456 --> 00:12:59,324
Smiling, like she doesn't
belong in the toilet.
325
00:12:59,326 --> 00:13:02,594
I know she says a lot
worse than what I said
326
00:13:02,596 --> 00:13:04,462
when she's in her
room with her friends.
327
00:13:04,464 --> 00:13:08,299
I wish she'd let me hang out
in her room with her friends.
328
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,970
He saw me!
329
00:13:17,911 --> 00:13:20,578
I know. I can go to Narnia.
330
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:23,147
Or like that new kid who
moved from Boston says,
331
00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:25,349
"Nahnia."
332
00:13:25,351 --> 00:13:26,884
What a dummy!
333
00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:28,920
Aw.
334
00:13:28,922 --> 00:13:30,555
There's never a magical
world in your closet
335
00:13:30,557 --> 00:13:32,123
when you need one.
336
00:13:37,063 --> 00:13:38,296
Hey.
337
00:13:38,298 --> 00:13:39,597
Brought you a hot dog.
338
00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:41,766
I'm on a hunger strike.
339
00:13:42,602 --> 00:13:44,735
I really want that hot dog.
340
00:13:44,737 --> 00:13:48,239
You know, Sophia, being a kid is hard.
341
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:50,408
But someday, you're gonna
realize that Mom and Dad...
342
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,043
Blah, blah, blah.
343
00:13:52,045 --> 00:13:55,413
"I'm Tyler. I have
red hair. I can drive.
344
00:13:55,415 --> 00:13:58,716
I can do whatever I want
because I'm a teenager."
345
00:13:58,718 --> 00:14:01,686
I wish my lips were as red as his.
346
00:14:01,688 --> 00:14:04,388
At least until Mom
lets me wear lipstick.
347
00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:06,190
So do you understand what I'm saying?
348
00:14:06,192 --> 00:14:06,991
No.
349
00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:07,825
Yes.
350
00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:09,694
Good talk, kid.
351
00:14:09,696 --> 00:14:11,362
I'll eat this later,
352
00:14:11,364 --> 00:14:13,731
and I won't brush my teeth after.
353
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,833
And all the other
moms are gonna say,
354
00:14:15,835 --> 00:14:17,935
"Oh, you're such a bad mother
355
00:14:17,937 --> 00:14:21,005
for letting your daughter
have green teeth."
356
00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:23,874
I'm gonna write all
the swears I know.
357
00:14:25,511 --> 00:14:29,013
"Boogers.
358
00:14:29,015 --> 00:14:30,715
Bum."
359
00:14:31,584 --> 00:14:33,384
And the F-word:
360
00:14:33,386 --> 00:14:35,319
"fart."
361
00:14:35,321 --> 00:14:37,388
I better destroy the evidence.
362
00:14:45,098 --> 00:14:46,497
When are we getting a dog?
363
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,967
Hey.
364
00:14:56,376 --> 00:14:58,376
What do you think? Did
you learn your lesson?
365
00:14:58,378 --> 00:15:00,444
Am I allowed to talk?
366
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,613
You're allowed to talk now.
367
00:15:02,615 --> 00:15:03,574
Whoa.
368
00:15:04,563 --> 00:15:06,742
It stinks being the youngest one.
369
00:15:06,954 --> 00:15:08,897
I can't do what everybody else does,
370
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:11,106
I can't say what everybody else says.
371
00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:13,324
It's asinine.
372
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,893
Can I say that?
373
00:15:16,776 --> 00:15:17,712
You know what?
374
00:15:18,564 --> 00:15:20,264
Tyler and Samantha had the same rules
375
00:15:20,266 --> 00:15:21,666
when they were your age.
376
00:15:21,668 --> 00:15:23,267
You just don't remember, that's all.
377
00:15:24,504 --> 00:15:25,936
What are you drawing there?
378
00:15:25,938 --> 00:15:27,905
It's a fart tree.
379
00:15:27,907 --> 00:15:29,473
I drew it for you.
380
00:15:29,475 --> 00:15:30,975
To say I'm sorry.
381
00:15:30,977 --> 00:15:32,843
I really am sorry.
382
00:15:32,845 --> 00:15:35,579
Honey, I love you so much.
383
00:15:35,581 --> 00:15:38,115
Do you know what? I
saved you a piece of cake.
384
00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:39,483
I saved you a corner piece,
385
00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:41,018
because I know how much
you love the frosting.
386
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,620
I hope there's a flower on it.
387
00:15:42,622 --> 00:15:44,055
There's even a flower on it.
388
00:15:44,057 --> 00:15:45,623
This is getting creepy.
389
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:47,224
All right. So what do you think?
390
00:15:47,226 --> 00:15:48,592
Think you can go back
downstairs, watch your language?
391
00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:49,694
Yes.
392
00:15:49,696 --> 00:15:52,063
All right, good. Let's go.
393
00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:56,667
But I just need to
say it one more time.
394
00:15:56,669 --> 00:15:58,035
Ass.
395
00:15:58,037 --> 00:15:59,503
Okay. Two more times.
396
00:15:59,505 --> 00:16:00,938
Ass.
397
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:04,608
♪ Ass, ass, ass,
ass, ass, ass! ♪
398
00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:09,080
There's a guy, there's a
guy... Right there. Get that...
399
00:16:09,082 --> 00:16:10,247
Ah, you got him!
400
00:16:10,249 --> 00:16:11,882
Eat that, turkeys!
401
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:16,306
_
402
00:16:19,035 --> 00:16:20,684
Welcome to Namaste Noshery.
403
00:16:20,786 --> 00:16:21,587
Good afternoon.
404
00:16:21,707 --> 00:16:23,887
We would like your finest table.
405
00:16:23,889 --> 00:16:26,256
Tell me what you value in a table.
406
00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:29,492
Uh... four legs and a place to sit?
407
00:16:31,329 --> 00:16:34,804
"Fragility, Abundance, Joy, Chagrin"
408
00:16:34,924 --> 00:16:36,023
What is this baloney?
409
00:16:36,143 --> 00:16:38,350
All the dishes here are
named after feelings.
410
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:39,832
Oh, my sister would love this place.
411
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,572
She eats her feelings all day long.
412
00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:43,621
Hi, there. Would you guys like to start off
413
00:16:43,665 --> 00:16:45,508
with an order of Tranquility,
414
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:48,177
or perhaps a side of Black Beans Matter?
415
00:16:48,179 --> 00:16:51,493
We'll take whatever three
pepperoni pizzas feels like,
416
00:16:51,557 --> 00:16:54,017
and if there's a Mai Tai
hanging around back there,
417
00:16:54,019 --> 00:16:55,485
tell it I'm looking for it.
418
00:16:57,524 --> 00:16:58,677
Okay.
419
00:16:58,797 --> 00:17:01,758
Three Generosities with cashew cheese.
420
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,828
And the question of the day
"What are you grateful for?"
421
00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:08,231
I'm grateful there's a
hamburger joint on the way home.
422
00:17:11,336 --> 00:17:12,969
She's a dud.
423
00:17:12,971 --> 00:17:14,737
I'm grateful for you, Pop-Pop.
424
00:17:14,739 --> 00:17:17,206
I'm glad you started taking
us to riding every week
425
00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:18,608
while Mom's at yoga.
426
00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:19,549
Yeah, Pop-Pop.
427
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,403
And I'm grateful that you never tell us
428
00:17:21,448 --> 00:17:23,379
you're too busy to spend time with us.
429
00:17:23,381 --> 00:17:24,614
Aw, Soph.
430
00:17:27,355 --> 00:17:29,385
I'm grateful for that, too.
431
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,755
You two girls look so much like your mama
432
00:17:32,757 --> 00:17:34,023
when she was young.
433
00:17:34,025 --> 00:17:35,273
Are you okay, Pop-Pop?
434
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:36,859
Oh, yeah.
435
00:17:36,861 --> 00:17:40,296
I'm just feeling a
couple of the appetizers.
436
00:17:41,299 --> 00:17:42,932
Yeah, I started crying,
437
00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:44,801
and so they rang a bell.
438
00:17:44,803 --> 00:17:46,602
I got a free dessert.
439
00:17:46,604 --> 00:17:48,671
It was all so very confusing.
440
00:17:48,673 --> 00:17:50,573
You know, the girls took me there once,
441
00:17:50,575 --> 00:17:53,643
and that's why I started
carrying bacon in my purse.
442
00:17:53,645 --> 00:17:56,612
Look at all these pictures,
and I'm hardly in any of them.
443
00:17:57,135 --> 00:17:59,248
I missed so much when the kids were young.
444
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:01,117
You were flying all over the world,
445
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:02,552
providing for your family.
446
00:18:02,554 --> 00:18:04,454
Yeah. I could've done more.
447
00:18:04,456 --> 00:18:06,689
Like one of my copilots, Roger.
448
00:18:06,691 --> 00:18:07,990
- You remember Roger.
- Yeah.
449
00:18:07,992 --> 00:18:09,592
He had this wonderful family
450
00:18:09,594 --> 00:18:11,728
and then this secret family in Paris,
451
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:13,596
and he was such a great dad to both.
452
00:18:13,598 --> 00:18:15,798
Yeah, that was an awkward funeral.
453
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,618
I was a lousy father.
454
00:18:17,976 --> 00:18:20,598
Worse than that guy in the
"Cat's Got the Cable" song.
455
00:18:20,605 --> 00:18:22,609
- You were a great dad.
- Mm-mm.
456
00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:25,121
And you don't have to
log any more flights now.
457
00:18:25,356 --> 00:18:26,576
You've got time.
458
00:18:26,578 --> 00:18:28,644
Go for it.
459
00:18:31,416 --> 00:18:33,082
- There's a guy, there's a guy...
- Yep.
460
00:18:33,084 --> 00:18:35,218
Right there. Get that... Ah, you got him!
461
00:18:36,154 --> 00:18:37,587
Eat that, turkeys!
462
00:18:37,589 --> 00:18:39,422
Oh, sorry, Wellesley; that's my dad.
463
00:18:39,424 --> 00:18:41,092
No, I'm not gonna tell him
464
00:18:41,212 --> 00:18:43,459
- that you said that, but...
- What?
465
00:18:43,461 --> 00:18:45,161
- No, Dad, Dad, no!
- Hey, who is this?
466
00:18:45,163 --> 00:18:49,065
And that's how Teddy
Tinkle went number one.
467
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,266
She's asleep.
468
00:18:50,268 --> 00:18:51,968
She is so cute!
469
00:18:53,538 --> 00:18:54,871
All right.
470
00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:56,139
You have a good night's sleep.
471
00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:00,209
Look at her.
472
00:19:00,211 --> 00:19:01,677
That's my daughter Heather.
473
00:19:01,679 --> 00:19:03,513
Look at her... doing that warrior pose.
474
00:19:03,515 --> 00:19:06,482
Check it out, huh? Good, baby.
475
00:19:10,187 --> 00:19:11,603
Oh, Mom, hey.
476
00:19:11,605 --> 00:19:13,168
You got to say something to Dad.
477
00:19:13,288 --> 00:19:15,514
Yeah, it was really sweet
at first, but, you know,
478
00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,211
Now it's starting to get out of control.
479
00:19:17,331 --> 00:19:19,444
He wanted to watch me jump
rope. It got really weird.
480
00:19:19,446 --> 00:19:20,724
He took me to the Dodger game,
481
00:19:20,844 --> 00:19:22,581
and he wanted to hold
my hand the whole time.
482
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:24,298
- Oh, I know...
- He keeps tousling my hair,
483
00:19:24,345 --> 00:19:25,701
and this takes a lot of work.
484
00:19:25,821 --> 00:19:27,919
I know, I know. I saw this coming.
485
00:19:27,921 --> 00:19:30,555
He just wants to know
that you appreciate him.
486
00:19:30,557 --> 00:19:31,891
- Well...
- We do.
487
00:19:32,011 --> 00:19:34,876
Yeah, well, so... this is what you do.
488
00:19:34,878 --> 00:19:37,139
You give him this, and it will stop.
489
00:19:39,969 --> 00:19:41,209
Seriously?
490
00:19:41,407 --> 00:19:41,904
Trust me.
491
00:19:42,024 --> 00:19:44,440
I'm Jane Goodall and your father is my ape.
492
00:19:45,882 --> 00:19:46,638
All right.
493
00:19:52,241 --> 00:19:53,584
What... you got to be kidding.
494
00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,367
You really think I'm
the world's greatest dad?
495
00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:00,736
We really do.
496
00:20:00,738 --> 00:20:02,904
- Yeah, man, you're the best.
- We love you.
497
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:04,956
Well...
498
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:07,459
I-I think you're the world's...
499
00:20:07,461 --> 00:20:09,127
greatest kids.
500
00:20:11,686 --> 00:20:13,572
How did you know that that would work?
501
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:21,299
Life is complicated. Your father's not.
502
00:20:21,928 --> 00:20:24,126
You're a genius.
503
00:20:24,143 --> 00:20:25,461
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- www.addic7ed.com -
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