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♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

There can't be anybody in the United States

that doesn't know, like, and admire Laura Petrie

of The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Otherwise known as the beautiful and talented, Mary Tyler Moore.

- Welcome. - Hello. Thank you.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

DAVID SUSSKIND: Uh, Mary Tyler Moore,

the world should know that your name is really

- Mary Tyler Moore Tinker. - Yes, isn't that darling?

SUSSKIND: It should be "Mary Tyler Tinker Moore."

MARY TYLER MOORE: Yes. (CHUCKLES)

SUSSKIND: Was the wife you played there

kind of an idealization of the American wife?

There is no such woman.

- Most of them are wretched nags. - I don't think so.

Yes. I think we all have our moments.

Some of us have the nagging personality

come to the fore more often than others.

But Laura Petrie broke down and cried,

and she used ploys to get her way,

and she was nasty and short-tempered.

And she was also sweet and soft. And she was many things.

Oh, no, I think she was sort of a strained idealization

of the American woman as she thinks she is.

But they had no connection with reality.

- I mean... - Well--

...the woman that's talking all the time in a restaurant.

I claim that you can walk into an average restaurant

and if you have observed life enough,

American female-male relationships,

you can look in the restaurant

and tell who's married and who's single.

- Yeah. Sometimes you can. - Where the woman is just

yakking like crazy.

- MARY: Mm-hmm. - SUSSKIND: And the man has a hurt,

- bored expression. - MARY: Yes. (CHUCKLES)

They're real married at that point.

I know, I know. I--

SUSSKIND: And where she's listening

and he's just elocutioning,

and she's just wide-eyed and attentive. They're engaged.

MARY: Oh, gosh! I'll probably get in trouble saying this

but I really do think more wives should investigate

the possibilities of working

because I agree with Betty Friedan

and her point of view in her book,

The Feminine Mystique, that women are,

or should be, human beings first,

women second, wives and mothers third.

It should fall in that order

and that if there's enough thought and effort

put into this attempt

that it will not hurt the family,

it will not hurt the work,

that they can function very nicely together.

I'm proving it.

♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

GLORIA STEINEM: Just consider what visitors

from outer space might think

if they were confronted with the last 20 years

of television and films as the only evidence

of what American women were like.

It would be quite clear

that we slept in false eyelashes

and full makeup,

and indeed spend all of our lives

with such ornamentation on us.

Some of us would be taken to be a servant class of some sort.

Some of us would be taken to be sex-crazed,

others, totally puritanical.

Most of us would be man junkies, very strange creatures

who were thought to need men for our identities.

If we lived alone, we would almost have to be widows,

at least until recently on television.

- That's begun to change. - ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

And I could discover the secret of immortality

and people would still say, "Look at that single girl."

MARY: It stems from a love of what you're doing.

It would be unnatural not to have ambition,

I would think.

JAMES LIPTON: Her seven Emmy Awards,

her three Golden Globe Awards,

- and her Academy Award nomination... - (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

...are only the beginning of the story.

MARY: While I would never

consciously choose pain for myself,

sometimes you have to have a little pain,

a little disappointment.

Oh, Rob! Are you saying it's my fault?

DINAH SHORE: Every woman in America

must have dreamed about being just like her.

Please welcome, Mary Tyler Moore.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

Believe me, Millie. It--

- It wasn't quite like this. - JERRY PARIS: Oh. (CHUCKLES)

Well, I believe you but how you gonna convince

forty million other people?

What should we know about you?

Uh, well, most of the things that you should know about me,

I'm not gonna tell. (CHUCKLES)

I don't take huge risks, though.

I'm not a foolish person.

You know what's got me really upset?

- I have no idea. - I just sounded nuts.

- REPORTER 1: Mary! - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

REPORTER 2: It's your first nomination.

- How do you feel tonight? - Wonderful!

MARY: What she really needed to do, and ultimately

gets the last chance to do, is have a life of her own.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

RONA BARRETT: I don't think anyone

in the entertainment business...

has gone through more changes than you have...

- in this-- - Wait a minute,

that can't be true. (CHUCKLES)

RONA: In this past year,

I guess one would call it a midlife crisis.

I hate that term "crisis" though.

- A midlife change. - RONA: A midlife change. Okay.

And the courage to follow through

with what you perceive as...

a necessary change.

It may be difficult for people to understand,

because they see somebody like me

who has been working for a long time

and has been relatively successful

and they think, "Oh, that's independence."

It is not necessarily true.

♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

MARY: I was born December 29th, 1936

in Brooklyn, New York.

As my father reminds me though, of impoverished nobility.

I was a feisty kid. I was always in fights

- with the neighborhood kids. - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Possibly because it was an ethnically charged situation.

By that time, it had become an Orthodox Jewish community.

And here I was, this English-Irish Catholic kid.

I knew at a very early age what I wanted to do.

Some people refer to it as indulging in my instincts

and my artistic bent.

I call it just showing off...

(CHUCKLES) ...which was what I did

from about three years of age on.

And my grandfather once said of me,

"This child will either end up on stage or in jail."

RONA: What part did your father play in your life?

MARY: A very important part.

He was a rather intimidating force.

- ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - MARY: I always

wanted his respect.

I knew I could never reach him on the intellectual level.

So, in order to win him over,

I had to do it on some other plane.

And for me then it was performing,

which my father was never very good at.

My mother was an alcoholic.

She was most at ease at a party or having a party.

Everybody's good-time best gal,

not the most attuned to parenting

that I would have liked.

She would start drinking in the day

and she would not stop

until somebody found the bottle and took it away.

I didn't know anything about alcoholism at the time

and I thought that she was getting drunk at me.

That if she really, really loved me, she could stop.

My aunt and grandmother who lived together

had taken me for weekends from the time I was an infant,

making it easier for my mother and father to have a good time

on their own.

I thought the best way to get my parents' attention

and approval, is by succeeding as a dancer.

I started studying when I was eight years old

- when we moved to California. - ♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MARY: That was just after World War Two.

And I had a very successful uncle

named Harold Hackett, who was with MCA.

He had been luring the family to come

to this land of sunshine and promise for all

called "Hollywood."

And since my father was working for ConEd

and didn't really have what you'd call a career,

and my Aunt Birdie who was working for radio,

she decided that she could take care of herself out there.

And so the whole family moved.

And at that point, the whole family included

my seven-year younger brother, John.

I started taking dance classes right away

that my Aunt Birdie paid for and drove me to.

And for which my grandmother made the costumes

for the recitals.

It was pretty locked into my mind and heart and soul

that that's what I was gonna do.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

RONA: When you went out for your very first job...

- Mm-hmm. - ...did you get it?

Yes. Yes.

♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

VOICE OVER: ♪ Every day's a holiday ♪

♪ With Hotpoint ♪

MARY: The very first job was the day

after the high school graduation prom.

RONA: And what was the job?

MARY: And that was the series of commercials

on the Ozzie and Harriet television show,

in which I played a pixie

representing the Hotpoint appliances.

I was Happy Hotpoint.

- (SIGHS, LAUGHS) - (RONA CHUCKLES)

Happy Hotpoint

- at your service. - ♪ (AD JINGLE PLAYS, FADES) ♪

MARY: I really liked doing that.

- ♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - MARY: But I had also married

very soon after

that first commercial was filmed.

And despite my best intentions,

I found myself pregnant two months later.

And that was a difficult moment to live through

for the Hotpoint people too

because there I was with these emerging breasts

in my little gray leotard,

not looking very much like the logo

they had in mind. (CHUCKLES) So, that had to be truncated.

Then I went on to become Richard's mother.

I think there's a terrible contempt for women

still in our society,

implicit in this glorified image of women

only as a sex object.

Implicit in this glorified insistence

that woman's fulfillment is motherhood

and only motherhood.

Cows can have babies

but women have minds as well as breasts,

as well as sexual organs.

And women are made to feel guilty

if they really use their minds.

We don't know. We don't know, you know.

We really don't know what women can do,

what women can be.

MARY: My mother became pregnant at age 40.

So, my mother's child, my sister, Elizabeth,

was three months older than her nephew, Richard.

And they grew up in the same playpen

because as I began to work more often,

my mother, who was now a sober person

that I could count on, watched those two.

I married very early.

I married right after high school.

And... I think that choice had to do with the pressure

that was put on young women during the '50s,

which said that the ultimate goal in life

is marriage, children,

and career if you can work it in.

- (TELEPHONE RINGING) - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

- Hello. - MARY: Who's this?

This is Richard Diamond of the disintegrating Diamonds.

MARY: Well, at least you're awake.

Don't take any money on it, Samuel. (EXHALES)

MARY: You wanted me to make sure you were up.

She's due at your home in about five minutes.

- DAVID JANSSEN: Who's due? - MARY: Dorian Crane.

She lives on the right side of the tracks in Beverly Hills.

- Which side is that? - ♪ (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

'Cause I did a really strange part.

- DINAH: Did you? - Yeah.

- Because my-- - DINAH: Not in a porno!

- No, no. (CHUCKLES) No. - (DINAH CHUCKLES)

On a series called The Richard Diamond Show.

- Which starred David Janssen. - DINAH: Yeah.

MARY: I played his telephone operator.

- DINAH: Oh! - MARY: But you never saw

- my face. - DINAH: Never?

MARY: Never. You just heard my voice.

(IN A DEEP VOICE) Which was quite a few octaves lower

than the voice you're used to hearing.

- DINAH: Really? - Yes. Sexy Sam.

DINAH: That's funny. They never saw your face?

MARY: (IN NORMAL VOICE) Never saw my face.

The most frustrating thing...

- DINAH: That's not fair! - ...that I ever experienced.

- DINAH: Well, are you-- - Yes, it was

because this would've been such a letdown.

- You-- - That's not a sexy face.

- Yes. Oh, tell them. - Is this it?

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MARY: She became every male viewer's fantasy.

And there was big hype about her because the producers decided

to create some interest by not revealing who she was.

Now I was making, for each episode, 85 dollars,

and I decided that

because of all the attention that the character was getting,

that I should go in and ask for more.

And I did. I went into the producer's office

and I said, "I really, really think that I should get

a little more money for this role that I'm playing."

And without letting me finish the sentence, he said,

"Do you know, my dear, anybody with a good pair of legs

and a sultry voice can play this part

so goodbye and good luck to you."

♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ Ten cents a dance That's what they pay me ♪

♪ Gosh, how they weigh me down ♪

♪ Ten cents a dance Softies and rough guys ♪

♪ Tough guys who tear my gown ♪

DINAH: Did you ever start out like everybody else,

having frustrations and periods when you couldn't get...

- Oh. - ...couldn't get arrested?

- Many, many. - DINAH: Really?

And when I could get arrested, it was on a television show

that was probably really very badly done.

Carrying microfilm of government property

- is illegal. - (GASPS)

You're under arrest, suspicion of espionage.

- Vern, you can take her in now. - ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MARY: I did a lot of those boring shows.

- ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - DINAH: I never heard of any job

you didn't get.

Well, there was one part I didn't get

and I'm really very glad I didn't.

It was to play the part of Danny Thomas's daughter.

- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) - Now, ladies and gentlemen,

a formal introduction please,

for our guest star, Mary Tyler Moore.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

A few years ago, we auditioned a lot of young girls

to play the part of my older daughter, Terry,

in the family series.

And Mary was one of the two finalists.

But it was left to me to have to tell her

that she wasn't right for the part.

- (SIGHS) - And I'd like you to see

why she wasn't right for the part.

- Come here. - (CLEARS THROAT)

- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) - Now, tell the truth.

Would anybody believe that that nose

could be the father of that nose?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

The day that I read for the part of Laura Petrie

- on The Dick Van Dyke Show... - ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

...had followed a week of rejections,

and I was having coffee with a friend,

and my agent tracked me down and said,

"You've gotta get over and see Carl Reiner.

He wants to read with you

for the part of Dick Van Dyke's wife."

And I said, "No, I'm not going. I'm sorry.

I can't take any more rejections.

You know I'm not gonna get that part." (CHUCKLES)

I was terrified because it was my hero,

Carl Reiner,

who was the writer-producer of this show.

ROB REINER: The Dick Van Dyke Show

was originally a show for my father to star in.

- (LAUGHTER) - ROB: My father had been on television

for many years with Sid Caesar in the Show of Shows

- and Caesar's Hour, and then... - (VOCALIZES)

...when the show was over,

he started writing a series for himself.

And he played the character

that Dick Van Dyke plays ultimately.

It was called Head of the Family.

They'd made the pilot and it didn't sell.

And he had a meeting with Sheldon Leonard,

with Danny Thomas and they said,

"The show is great but we gotta find a new you."

So, they recommended Dick Van Dyke.

And I'm glad Dick wound up doing it

because it's what we say, "We take the comedy of the Jew

and we push it through the goy."

I never knew that there had been a prior pilot.

So I went over there and thank God I did.

Do you remember me grabbing your head?

I think you got scared.

You thought I was gonna-- Because producers in those days,

and maybe still, have a reputation

of wanting something more than--

- GUEST 1: Bodies. Mm-hmm. - Yeah, something more than the talent.

And I heard her, there was a ping in her voice.

You only read-- I read about 60 girls

and I read the full script with 'em

- hoping to find something. - GUEST 2: Yeah.

She read three lines.

I don't like you.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

At all!

Three simple lines. There was such a ping

- and an excitement and a reality to her. - GUEST 1: Really?

RONA: What attracted you to Laura Petrie?

The chance to work with Dick Van Dyke

and Carl Reiner.

I mean... (CHUCKLES) ...what more do you need?

Carl, it was such a platonic love.

- He was my father, my brother. - ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MARY: He was my teacher, my member of the audience

for whom I wanted to do the scene well.

When I heard him laugh, that's all I needed.

How often does my boss ask us over to his house?

How often is one called upon to be a responsible parent?

ROB: They just immediately gelled.

- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - (PAN SIZZLING)

The president of the network will be there.

ROB: It was seamless.

Well, then I think you should go.

Oh, I mean it, honey.

There's no sense both us staying home.

After all, you have a responsibility

to your work and I fully understand that.

We just liked each other, right from the beginning.

- You do? - Sure I do.

- You don't mind if I go alone? - Not at all, darling.

There was right away, a sense of being very comfortable

in the humor that we shared.

Well...

It's just that I couldn't go to a party

knowing my son was on the verge of being sick.

I couldn't enjoy myself.

Such chemistry. Such charisma.

I watch the reruns of The Dick Van Dyke Show

- and I remember every one of-- - (MARY CHUCKLES)

- And I break up, you know? - MARY: I do too.

I watch them every once in a while

just before we do our show.

I have a little television set in the trailer...

- DINAH: Really? - ...and I catch it.

But it's a little like

the portrait of Dorian Gray in reverse.

- DINAH: Oh, no. Oh, no. - I hate it. (LAUGHS)

- I was such a baby then. - No, we're getting--

- Oh, we're getting better! - That's true. Yes!

We look much better, don't you think?

We're not getting older. We're getting better.

- Right! Better and prettier! - (AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

So, eat your hearts out, you 22-year-olds!

- DINAH: Yes! Let's not forget... - (CHUCKLES)

- ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - MARY: Going in, I knew I was in

with a bunch of black belts in comedy

and I had no real experience at it.

I didn't know what I was doing.

DICK VAN DYKE: There was no hint at all

that Mary could do comedy.

I said she may be the next Katharine Hepburn

but I don't know... (CHUCKLES) ...about comedy.

MARY: Early on, Carl saw some spark of humor in me.

He wrote a script called My Blonde-Haired Brunette.

That was my initiation.

- Oh, Millie, I'm getting old. - Oh, come on, Laura.

One gray hair isn't gonna make you old.

Yeah, well, it's not just a gray hair,

it's Rob's whole attitude toward me.

We each know exactly

what the other is gonna think and do.

There just aren't any more surprises left.

- Well, you have to make them. - Well, how do you do that?

Well, whenever Jerry starts taking me

for granted, I have a simple remedy.

- What? - I just bleach my hair.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Millie, do you think that if I bleach my hair that--

No I couldn't.

Why not?

Well, I don't think Rob would approve of me as a blonde.

How does he feel about Marilyn Monroe

and Brigitte Bardot?

- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) - ♪ (SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Millie, I'll do it.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Why? Why would...

MARY: I had always been a big fan of Nanette Fabray,

who worked with Carl Reiner

and Sid Caesar on the Show of Shows.

Twelve long glorious years of marriage,

twelve years out the window.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

MARY: And I loved her humor. I loved the way she cried.

Who do you think you are anyway?

- (SOBS HEAVILY) - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MARY: And so, when I was called upon

to bring forth the tears in my scene,

I'm not sure how much of it

was out and out stolen from Miss Fabray.

...self?

We are dyeing it back to its natural color.

Laura's been a blonde all afternoon.

MARY: And he wants to know why, what happened?

- And then I try to tell him. - Honey, why?

(WHIMPERS) "Why?"

(GASPS) Well, yesterday morning,

when I kissed you and you said, "Don't do that."

And you came down to breakfast in your yucky shirt

and all you do is... (MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

And that proved that I could handle comedy.

And the gray hair!

DICK: It was just fascinating to watch Mary Tyler Moore

just grasp it so quickly.

...yucky! (SOBS)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

MARY: A housewife on a situation comedy

had never been given the opportunity

to do this kind of stuff.

And it was at that point

that Carl started writing show after show

and scene after scene for me to be funny.

ROB: Mary and her being beautiful and being funny,

that combination was looked at as being unfeminine.

I mean, Lucy was a rarity

but even Lucy had to resort

to much more physical kind of stuff.

It wasn't thought of as a feminine thing to do.

MARY: I was the voice of the audience.

I was the single voice of sanity in amongst all these lunatics.

YOUNG LARRY MATHEWS: Ellen's got a disease.

Well, Ellen's got a temperature. I wouldn't call it a disease.

Well, whatever she got, I hope I get it too.

LARRY MATHEWS: Mary was a combination to me

of a mother figure and a sister.

She would always take time if she saw me struggling.

It was important to Mary to have that connection,

since I was playing her son, to me to be that child of hers.

And I think it did help her through things.

BEVERLY SANDERS: She had Richie, her son,

but she and her husband had separated,

so she had to make a living

- and she did. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

- Sally, you know the bit. - I'll do it.

- I need the chair and the hat. - TV ACTOR: I got it right here.

(INDISTINCT CLAMORING)

(CHUCKLES) Oh, your husband's awfully cute.

He must be a lot of fun to live with.

I laugh all day long.

MARY: Laura actually had opinions of her own,

and while she was asserting herself,

she also didn't make Dick Van Dyke

- look like a dummy. - ♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MARY: Society's expectations at that point still said,

"Hey, wait a minute, lady, you'll only go so far here."

I think we broke new ground and that was helped

by my insistence on wearing pants.

I said, "I've seen all the other actresses

and they're always running the vacuum

in these little flowered frocks with high heels on,

and I don't do that,

and I don't know any of my friends who do that.

So, why don't we try to make this real?"

BEVERLY: She brought her own style into sitcoms.

She wore pants, which was the first time

on television a woman wore pants.

She brought that into the world.

BILL PERSKY: The network was horrified,

but Carl said, "No, this is what sells."

MARY: The network asked that, when she does wear these pants,

make sure they don't "cup under,"

so that you didn't see ass.

BILL: She wasn't someone at home waiting for him

to solve all the problems,

- making dinner in high heels. - (WHISTLES)

BILL: She was a contemporary woman.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

ROB: Mary was very private and very guarded.

But she gave something out, and whether it was not

- how she felt inside... - (YELPS)

...but the way she projected herself on screen,

you just fell in love.

(SCREAMS)

Women liked me.

They were not envious of the fact

that their husbands had a crush on me.

It was okay with them.

When I would meet people, they'd say,

"My husband loves you so much, and he thinks you're so sexy."

And this was an odd thing

because they were also able to identify with me as a friend.

There was no resentment, no fear.

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ Mary, Mary Tyler Moore ♪

♪ I would run a mile or more ♪

♪ Just to get a smile Or more from you ♪

♪ Mary, Mary Tyler Moore ♪

♪ You're the image Of the lady next door ♪

♪ Polishing the furniture Fussing in the cupboard ♪

♪ Looking so adorable And you're Mother Hubbard ♪

- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) - DANNY KAYE: ♪ Cookies in the oven ♪

♪ Chicken in the pot ♪

- Mr. Kaye? - Yes, ma'am.

- Thanks a lot. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

The winner in Hollywood

is Mary Tyler Moore for The Dick Van Dyke...

- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING) - ♪ (JOYOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Oh! (CHUCKLES) - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Oh, thank you so very, very much.

I can't tell you how happy I am.

And I wanna thank Dick and Rosie

and Maury and Larry...

(EXHALES) ...and Jerry, and Carl and Sheldon

for making me look good. Thank you.

- (AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING) - ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Was that you sort of up there, the sweet, giving,

kindly dispositioned woman? Or are you really

- a wild mad swinger? - (CHUCKLES)

I think I fall somewhere in between.

I'm not sure just where.

But the disposition was a result of the writing of Carl Reiner,

and the attitude was very often my own.

I always tried to make the character as close

to me and my own reactions as possible.

Simply because it's easier to sustain a character

week after week after week if you do it that way.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MARY: Lucille Ball was our land lady.

She owned Desilu.

And we'd be rehearsing on the set

and then we'd hear a laugh that wasn't coming

- from the floor. - (LUCILLE BALL LAUGHING)

MARY: We looked up and there she was

on the catwalk.

And she'd be up there watching us, just observing us.

And I will never forget, one day,

she came up to me and she said, "You're very good."

That was the greatest gift I ever received.

LUCILLE: Hi, this is Lucy.

For my money, one of the brightest young talents

to have appeared on the television horizons

in the last few years is a vivacious,

Emmy award-winning brunette

from The Dick Van Dyke Show, Mary Tyler Moore.

- Hi, Mary. - MARY: How are you, Lucy?

LUCILLE: I am very, very happy to see you today

and I mean sincerely what I said

about your being one of the brightest young talents

I have ever seen in the industry.

I guess you're kind of aware of my admiration for you

because through the years, I've sort of sent wavelengths

- your way. (CHUCKLES) - MARY: You are awfully kind.

I have been made aware of it and I'm thrilled.

Believe me, I am.

LUCILLE: Now then, about your husband.

You have a very handsome husband, Mary.

- MARY: Oh, thank you. - LUCILLE: He is as handsome

as you are beautiful. And you are beautiful,

- inside and out. - MARY: Thank you.

LUCILLE: How long have you been married?

MARY: Two years. A little over two years.

- LUCILLE: Mm-hmm. - MARY: He's a wonderful person.

- ♪ (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - MARY: I had just separated

and was about to be divorced from my first husband.

Grant was with the advertising agency

that then handled Procter & Gamble.

So, he was a sometime visitor to the set,

although his office was really in New York

and we were working in Los Angeles.

GRANT TINKER: I came out here to see them shoot the pilot

and met Mary on the set.

She was dynamite, and what was great about her

was that she wasn't actressy, she was a real person.

And I just fell in love with her.

MARY: There was definitely an attraction.

He asked me to have dinner. It was in fact the same day

that it was announced in the trade papers

that I had separated from my husband and I said,

"Well, I don't think I should.

I think some time should elapse before I begin to see people."

About a month later, I was told

that I was expected to go to New York on a publicity tour,

and I found out that it was maneuvered

by Grant Tinker. He is the one who said,

"She needs to come to New York to do...

(CHUCKLES) ...some publicity," which is where he was,

and it was love at first meeting.

GRANT: And out of that meeting, came a relationship that grew

and by this time I was divorced, and ultimately we were married.

MARY: It felt very, very special.

Not only were we alike in many ways

and attracted to each other,

but there was this recognition of drive that each had.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

How can a woman be wed to two forces in life?

In other words, you're only half married

if you're in show business

because that demands so much of your ego,

so much investment of your energy.

I don't think so.

I think I could waste an awful lot more energy

sitting at home, having nothing to do,

other than just talk with the girls

about what gossip they've heard or just chase after the kids

instead of spending time with my son

because I know we don't have as much time

as most parents and children have.

- I make good use of that time. - ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- MARY: I don't waste it. - SUSSKIND: Don't you think

working mothers, whatever their jobs,

sort of shortchange their children emotionally,

- or even just physically? - Hmm.

SUSSKIND: They're not there enough of the time.

- They're not together. - I guess, sometimes--

They're not relating.

- They're not-- - Sometimes it happens

but I don't let it happen that way.

I refuse to travel without--

I refuse to be separated from my husband.

And I'm very blessed. I'm very lucky in that

I have been able to work out a career

and still hold to this.

JOHN TINKER: I knew that my stepmother was famous.

I had little interest in that

but I really wanted to get to know Mary

and thought that she was a very natural parent

with me and my siblings

and a little less so with Richie.

Is this too much?

JOHN: I think there may have been some tension

and some guilt on Mary's part.

She tried but the vicissitudes of that business

just require long hours and long absences.

Rich had so little interest about the business

and watching his mom practice her craft

that there was a lot less time spent together.

I know he liked spending a lot of time with his dad.

And they went fishing and hunting,

and that was far more Richie's speed

than being in a studio.

LARRY: When he came on set,

I think he was so excited to be around Mom.

I always loved when Richie was there.

Richie was able to bring out the bad boy in me,

running around the rafters, running behind the scenes,

sneaking a cigarette.

So, we were pretty devious

about what we were doing at the time, just being kids.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ I'm deep just like a chasm ♪

♪ I've no enthusiasm ♪

♪ I'm bored when I'm adored ♪

♪ I'm blasé! ♪

MARY: That era was an unenlightened time in which

most women felt that the only thing they could do

with their lives was to serve their husbands

and children.

I still believe in marriage and children,

but also looking at yourself and saying,

"Hey, if I have something else to contribute,

I can figure out a way to do that,

and I can figure out a way to get my husband

to help me do it and my children to help me do it too."

Laura Petrie led a very dull life, didn't she?

- RONA: Yeah. It-- - I think looking back.

- RONA: You think so? - Yeah.

I mean, she didn't really light up

until Rob walked in the door and tripped over the ottoman.

- (LAUGHS) - (RONA LAUGHS)

- So, she depended upon a man? - Right.

RONA: And in parallel situation in your life,

you depended upon a man.

Yeah, except that I always had the work too.

- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - DICK: We're now off the air.

To all intents and purposes, we stopped shooting our show.

That little group of people down there at our table

know how gratified I am to them.

You know, the first day, Carl said, "Five years is it.

If we go five years, that's all,

because you get repetitive. You get stale."

None of us really wanted to quit.

I've often been blamed for taking the show off the air.

(CHUCKLES) I had nothing to do with it.

In Hollywood, the winner is Mary Tyler Moore.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

Oh, gosh!

Of course I wanna thank the Academy

for giving me this great honor.

But I wanna also wanna take this opportunity publicly

to thank everybody connected with The Dick Van Dyke Show

for five of the happiest years of my life.

There's never gonna be another occasion like that again.

And this is gonna serve always

to be the most wonderful reminder

of that experience. Thank you.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

BILL: They turned down incredible offers

from the network to continue the show.

MARY: Dick had done Mary Poppins

and was anxious to go on and try other movies.

Carl was writing a Broadway play.

It was devastating to me

because it was the end of a family.

- ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - BEVERLY: Van Dyke

went off the air

and she, of course, thought her life was over

because, you know, what was she gonna do?

SUSSKIND: You said that you would have no regrets

in leaving The Dick Van Dyke Show

because you were sort of tired of playing Miss Goodie-Goodie.

- That you were always ordering milkshakes in public. - Oh. No. (CHUCKLES)

And now, you could have straight scotch.

Oh, goodness! Now, you see-- Now, it probably took me

two and a half hours to say that,

and they capsulized it down to a point

where I sounded really terribly shocking

and dismal and kind of bitter about life.

I assure you I'm not. And I assure you

that I miss every one of the people

on The Van Dyke Show desperately.

They became my good friends. My only friends.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

BILL: When she left The Van Dyke Show,

Universal Pictures gave her a five-picture deal,

and the unprecedented condition that she had the right to refuse

what pictures she didn't wanna do.

So, that was a very powerful position

that she could never be in anything

she didn't feel was right for her.

Her first picture was Thoroughly Modern Millie,

where she played a co-star with Julie Andrews.

So, that was her entry into movies.

She wasn't a star but she had a great part.

Well, I'm looking for life, raw and real.

I'm going to be an actress on the stage.

An actress? How exciting.

Yes, but I've got to live a lot first.

You should do very well on the stage.

Pictures too. You're very pretty.

(SIGHS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - BILL: After that film,

she got an offer to play Holly Golightly

in a musical version of Breakfast at Tiffany's.

And it was everything she ever dreamed of.

- ♪ (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - BILL: Mary always wanted

to be on Broadway,

but Universal would not let her out of her contract to do it.

And she said, "What if I give up the right

to approve of the pictures I do, and you can put me in anything."

And that was very attractive to them.

So, they let her do the show.

- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - (FILM PROJECTOR RUNNING)

- ♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (RAIN PATTERING)

JIM BURROWS: I was the playwright's son.

I said, "Can I work on the show?"

And he said, "Sure."

So, I became the assistant to the assistant stage manager.

It was not my dad's best work

but he had Mary Tyler Moore, Richard Chamberlain,

two of the biggest stars in television,

who would sell tickets.

We opened in Philadelphia.

MARY: (OVER MIC) Infinitely sweeter!

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(MARY CLEARS THROAT)

♪ A girl should hide in this world of men ♪

♪ A breakfast at Tiffany's ♪

♪ Now and then To make them feel ♪

♪ There are solid things... ♪

JIM: She was wonderful.

She had been a dancer before, so she had stage presence.

And then the producer, David Merrick, decided

that he was gonna fire my father

and replace him with Edward Albee.

And I said to my dad,

"Can I book passage on the Titanic?"

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JIM: We opened for previews on Broadway

and it was an utter disaster.

In the audience, you heard somebody say,

"Why don't you write a better show?"

So, Mary would come off in the wings

and she was weeping.

She was sad for a long time. It was a bad experience.

MARY: It was a disaster.

Just awful. Everything fell apart.

INTERVIEWER: Mr. Merrick, what went wrong?

DAVID MERRICK: Just not a very good show.

That sometimes happens on Broadway.

INTERVIEWER: Truman Capote, who wrote the original book

from which the musical was adapted,

said he didn't like the score

and he didn't like the leading lady.

Well, I disagree with him on that.

I think the score was good and I'm--

I like the leading lady very much

and I'm going with Mary Tyler Moore

and I'm going to try to find another play for her.

♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

BILL: Mary was the reason that all of the New York press,

"Well, it shows you can't take a television star..."

And she was brutalized.

MARY: That was a very difficult...

part of my life then.

BILL: And on top of it, Universal could put her

in whatever pictures they wanted her to be in.

So, she played a couple of meaningless roles.

ANNOUNCER: It stars Mary Tyler Moore.

MARY: Well, don't just stand there.

Zip me up while I put on my stockings.

That's the way you kiss your sister?

You gotta be kidding.

I'm a member of the Order of the Little Sisters of Mary.

BILL: She had gone from being

the most popular woman in America

to being a has-been in three and a half, four years.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ (SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MARY: We came back to Los Angeles

with three tails between our legs. (CHUCKLES)

But it was about at that time that I had a miscarriage.

And when I was in the hospital

for the routine procedures that follow,

they discovered that while normal blood sugar levels

are to be somewhere between 70 and 110, mine was 750.

And they were amazed that I was still walking around.

And to this day, they don't know

which came first, the miscarriage or the diabetes.

I don't know how I got through that year.

It shook me to my core.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

- (FILM PROJECTOR RUNNING) - (DRUM ROLL)

ANNOUNCER: Tonight, "Dick Van Dyke

and the Other Woman," Mary Tyler Moore.

- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) - ♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

BILL: We were doing these specials

for Dick Van Dyke, one a year, and I said to Dick,

"It's now four years since you and Mary have been together.

I think it would be a great idea to have a reunion show.

And also, I think Mary could use it."

So, we did a show and in it, we really featured Mary.

And normally that phrase, "the other woman,"

implies a relationship between two people

which might be

- considered unsavory. - Yeah.

But of course, the relationship between Mary and myself is...

is, of course, completely savory.

- Completely. - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Actually, when we were doing the series,

people thought we were married. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, boy! So much so that, I often had trouble

checking into a hotel with my real wife, Margie.

And I had trouble checking into a hotel

- with my real husband, Grant. - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

And Margie and Grant

had trouble checking in anywhere. (CHUCKLES)

- ♪ (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - ♪ If they could see me now ♪

♪ Those noble suffragettes... ♪

They gave me a wonderful opportunity

to sing and dance and clown.

♪ We got the situation Firmly in hand ♪

♪ The weaker sex controls The wealth of the land ♪

♪ (SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

BILL: The show went on the air, got huge ratings, great reviews,

very happy that we did it.

They suddenly rediscovered Mary Tyler Moore.

MARY: CBS noted how successful it was

and they asked me if I wanted to do my own show.

To which I said yes.

- (TELEPHONE RINGING) - ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

BEVERLY: She called me and she was screaming

into the phone and I said,

"Stop screaming. What?" And of course she got her break.

It's like God took over.

For Mary to step off of that show and into

The Mary Tyler Moore Show was really something.

She was scared.

But to be on a series of her own,

there wasn't any discussion.

- She was just perfect for it. - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (MEOWS)

MARY: My husband thought that it would be wise

to form a company that he could manage

and that I could use as the foundation for a commitment.

- It was 22 episodes. - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER SPEAKERS) - ANNOUNCER: It was Grant Tinker

who hired Jim Brooks

along with Alan Burns to produce The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

JAMES L. BROOKS: Every male comedy writer

of that time had had a crush on Mary Tyler Moore.

She was our dream girl.

(INAUDIBLE CHATTER)

ALLAN BURNS: She represented everything you wanted.

Her intelligence, she gets it so quickly.

Hardly anybody knows comedy like she does.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MARY: They and I had a meeting and, you know, I said,

"I think from my experience on The Dick Van Dyke Show

that it's smart for me to play

somebody who's close to my own persona."

And they agreed with that and they said,

"Well, we're thinking maybe, uh,

she works in a small television station

and that she's looking to be married

but she's not desperate about it."

And I said, "That sounds good too.

I like that 'cause that's kind of progressive."

BROOKS: We were two guys at an office

for a company that hadn't happened yet,

kicking around ideas that-- I don't think there'd been

a divorced woman yet on television.

We went to CBS to pitch with Grant,

maybe 20 executives, the big boss there.

And we told him this idea and they were polite

and they asked us to step out of the room.

We found out later, they told Grant to fire us.

They had three rules that couldn't happen

on a CBS show at the time,

"Jews, somebody with a mustache, or a divorced woman."

MARY: They had to come head-to-head with CBS

over the premise that you will be divorced,

and that you would be moving to Minneapolis

for the first time to start life afresh.

It was real but it was not funny.

You couldn't make fun of divorce.

And not only that, they said,

- they'd think you were divorced from Dick Van Dyke! - (SNEEZES)

BROOKS: Just a career woman was unusual then.

She was America's sweetheart,

so I think what we ended up doing,

is the show allowed her

basically to be a contemporary woman,

at a time when contemporary women

were speaking out, being noticed as they never were before.

This inhuman system of exploitation will change,

but only if we force it to change.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (TELEPHONE RINGING)

TREVA SILVERMAN: So, the phone rings and it's Jim,

and he said, "What are you doing right now?"

I said, "I'm just about to wash my hair."

And he said, "No, no, no, I mean in your life."

He said, "Because Mary Tyler Moore's show

got picked up.

And you're the first writer that I'm calling.

We would like you to write as many as you want."

At that point, I was the only woman

writing alone in comedy writing.

We were writing what we believed in.

Jim and Allen believed in it enough

that they pushed things through.

♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪

BROOKS: This is somebody who immediately was a soldier.

She was a star of her show. It was her company,

and yet she was in the trenches with you.

MARY: So, here I am in Minneapolis, new life,

new job. Well, not a new job yet.

First I had to go on an interview

at a local TV station.

BILL: I went to the first taping.

I thought it was very smart.

As they would say, "It had legs."

MARY: The head of the news department

seemed interested in my experience.

- How old are you? - Thirty.

No hedging? No, "How old do I look?"

Why hedge? (CHUCKLES) How old do I look?

Thirty.

When we did the first attempted show,

we made it under awful conditions.

An awful studio. Not too many audience laughs.

Look, miss, just so you're not the first person

I get overtime on a job interview...

BILL: The testing was not good.

The network hated it but they had committed

to a season of shows. They would've had to pay them.

...personal questions that don't have a thing to do

with my qualifications for this job.

ED ASNER: And Mary was in tears.

Grant's statement to the guys was, "Fix it."

And the guys looked at each other and said,

"What's wrong with it?"

BROOKS: I'm in a fog, I'm destroyed.

I'm sitting at a desk just numb. They trusted us and we bombed.

And then, Marge Mullen, who was our script supervisor,

saved us.

Marge said, "What if the kid, Beth,

who was in the pilot, said how much she liked Rhoda?"

♪ (INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

BROOKS: That and cutting the script

turned the bomb into the pilot that people talk about.

♪ ("MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW" THEME SONG PLAYING) ♪

♪ How will you make it On your own ♪

♪ This world is awfully big ♪

♪ Girl, this time You're all alone ♪

♪ But it's time You started living ♪

♪ It's time you let someone else Do some giving ♪

♪ Love is all around No need to waste it ♪

♪ You can have the town Why don't you take it? ♪

♪ You might just make it After all ♪

♪ You might just make it After all ♪

- ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ - ♪ (JOLLY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ROSIE O'DONNELL: I was eight when the first episode came on

and I hadn't seen one where a woman,

especially a single woman without a man to depend on,

was making her own way in life. It seared into my brain.

Look, miss, would you try

answering the questions as I ask 'em?

Yes, Mr. Grant, I will.

But it does seem that you've been asking

a lot of very personal questions that don't have a thing to do

with my qualifications for this job.

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS: There was no other show

like The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Her morphing from Laura Petrie into Mary Richards

was such a feminist statement and one that got into my bones.

KATIE COURIC: Watching this incredible woman

who was strong and funny, and independent,

then gets her own apartment with the wooden "M" on the wall.

- So you're, uh, Rhoda? - Morgenstern.

Ah! And I'm Mary Richards.

Oh, hello. (CHUCKLES) Get outta my apartment!

KATIE: She had funny neighbors like Rhoda and Phyllis.

But Mary, it's your duty as a woman

to take whatever you could get... (SNIFFS)

...whether you want it or not.

KATIE: And a great crew of people with whom she worked.

I'd tell you to stop reading over my shoulder

but you need all the practice you can get.

- Hi. - You're late, Mar.

I know.

KATIE: It opened my eyes to, "Wow, I wanna do that too."

A beautiful romance just blew up in her face.

It did not blow up. I made the decision.

♪ (SOLEMN PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JULIA: It wasn't just Mary Richards

who was this extraordinarily single ambitious career woman.

She was surrounded

by very strong comedic female characters.

- Yeah, I-- - You're talking

about Midwestern love, I'm talking about Bronx love.

There's a certain amount of guilt that goes with that.

MARY: Part of being a successful artist

is being open to new ideas and input.

TREVA: She was a big, big supporter

of what the pilot said about her.

She was on the side of risk-taking.

- Divorced? - MARY: No.

- Never married. - No.

- ED: Why? - Why?

Hmm. Your type?

Mr. Grant, there's no simple answer to that question.

MARY: There had been some shows about single women before

but as in the case of The Marlo Thomas Show,

boy, it was about getting married,

and Jim and Allen didn't wanna do that.

They wanted to show a woman enjoying her life and her career

and meeting these challenges.

BROOKS: They each had a great backbone.

- (DOORBELL BUZZES) - BROOKS: The character and Mary

had a great backbone that was real.

You know, that kind of substance,

intrinsic dignity of being

and of other people's dignity of being.

So, in a way, you're describing class.

Uh. Mary, Uh, uh. Did-- Did you just say goodbye?

Uh-huh.

(CHUCKLES) That's what I thought you said.

Take... take care of yourself.

- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ - I think I just did.

♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

RONA: You were kind of locked up.

I mean, I say locked up in that that the image on the screen

in the series, certainly never matched the real Mary.

That's right. Right. I was never single.

Mary Richards. Hmm.

It is still Richards, isn't it?

Uh. Yes. It's, uh, still Mary too.

So, you've never been married, Mary?

- No, Estelle, I haven't. - Hmm.

I've been married twice.

She liked it so much the first time.

I think you can look at a show like ours

and look at some of the relationships

and say to yourself after you've laughed...

"Son of a gun. That happened to me once."

♪ (LIGHTHEARTED MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

BROOKS: There's no way we can deal

with how humbling luck is.

- They programmed us... - (MARY YELPS)

...in a death time slot

because whoever was in charge of CBS then, didn't like us.

Where we were in mourning when we learned about it,

it meant they were eating us up.

They were just throwing away the shows.

The president of the company, the businessman,

he was promoted from head of sales

to head of the network.

First thing he did

was all those situation comedy shows

that had ruled the airways, canceled,

lots of top ten shows.

And then he put All in the Family on the air

and gave us the best time period he had and saved us.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Hi, I'm Mary Tyler Moore and I just want you to know

that starting this fall,

Bob Newhart and I will be back-to-back

every Saturday night on CBS.

Why do you fight it? The world's changing.

ROB: They were on the same night

we were on for All in the Family.

It was M*A*S*H. And then Bob Newhart

and Mary Tyler Moore, and then Carol Barnett,

we had a great lineup.

ROSIE: You had to wait until it was on.

(CHUCKLES) Y'know?

And if you missed it, you missed it.

- It was appointment TV for me. - ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

RONDA RICH TINKER: I would lie on the floor, on my stomach

right in front of the TV.

DEBRA MARTIN CHASE: My mother and I would watch

Mary Tyler Moore together.

DEBRA: Mary spoke to all of us.

Women could be independent, could have careers,

could stand on their own two feet

without a man.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

KATIE: I just remember it being part of my routine

on the weekends.

BROOKS: We had an audience right away and we kept it.

And that was when everybody stayed home and watched.

Grant Tinker used to say,

"You could fly across the United States,

jump out of a plane and very likely land

on somebody watching your show."

JOEL GREY: If you transcend all of the expectations,

- changes everything. - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JOEL: I'm sure her expectations of her life changed after that,

as did everyone else's expectations of her.

- I need to get ready. - Yeah, I hope.

- Boy, I hate those meetings. - You never used to.

Yeah, well, it used to be I felt I could be myself.

Now, I feel I represent women everywhere.

JOHN: Mary was so stellar at being that center

that held everything together.

And she always wanted her folks to be proud.

They weren't effusive.

I've often wondered how much time

was spent with Mary in her mind, with her folks.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

MARY: (OVER MIC) Would you all like to meet the producers

of Mary Tyler Moore?

- My mom and dad. - (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MARY: (OVER MIC) And February 14th,

they're celebrating their 50th anniversary.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

So, what's the secret of 50 years, Mom and Dad?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

- Lots of love and respect. - MARY: (OVER MIC) That's right.

I go along with that.

MARY: (OVER MIC) Okay, why not? That's a smart way.

BETTY WHITE: You probably remember

seeing this great cover on TV Guide.

Well, right now, right here, on The Pet Set,

we have this very star as our very special guest.

I'd like you to meet Dis William. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, and he brought a girl with him, Mary Tyler Moore.

- (LAUGHS) - Hello there. (CHUCKLES)

- Hi. - (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

I noticed on the set of, of course,

The Mary Tyler Moore Show, very prominently displayed

on the set is a picture of these two.

- Is that for luck? - Yeah, it's for luck.

And also because the prop man said,

"Do you have any pictures of anybody in your family

you'd like to have on the show?

The set needs a little warming up." (CHUCKLES)

- (BETTY CHUCKLES) - And I don't know why I brought in pictures

of the poodles instead of my mother or father.

Ow. (CLICKS TONGUE)

- What happened? - Nothing, I just cut myself.

It's okay. It's just a... it's just a tiny one.

- Come on, let me look at it. - No.

- ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - When you were a little girl,

you wouldn't let me look when you cut yourself.

I was always afraid you'd stitch it up.

JOHN: There was a scene where her father

tells her how much he cares for her.

Mary just wanted to get it right.

You don't cry when you... cut your finger anymore?

No. (SCOFFS)

What does make you cry?

Oh, mostly dumb things. (CHUCKLES)

JOHN: And I remember being there

and I don't know that that was very easy for her.

I keep a few in here.

JOHN: That scene even then moved me

because when her folks would come over

on the rare occasion for dinner, it was always a little,

you're just waiting for something to happen.

Something that would light the fuse.

Mary...

are you ever lonely?

No. Not too often, Daddy.

I have a good life.

I'm glad...

because... (SIGHS)

...I'm sorry about your graduation,

anything else I missed.

I love you, baby.

(SNIFFS) Well, it isn't always dumb things that make me cry.

(SIGHS) There. That...

That should be all right. Careful how you handle knives.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

- Hey, Daddy? (SNIFFLES) - Mm-hmm?

You bandaged the wrong finger.

- (CHUCKLES) - ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

INTERVIEWER: Why do you think it's such a winner,

The Mary Tyler Moore Show?

I think because of the casting, primarily me.

- No. (CHUCKLES) - (INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)

No, but it really is an extraordinary cast.

And I think because of the writing.

SUSAN SILVER: The Mary Tyler Moore Show

hired the most women of any show.

And it changed the language of television.

TREVA: It was wonderful of Jim and Allen.

They really wanted to...

(CHUCKLES) ...get it from the horse's mouth.

BROOKS: It didn't seem like we were having

a eureka moment when we said,

(CHUCKLES) "Women would be good to write on this show

about these women."

Totally logical thought pattern. It was the right thing to do.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MARY: Jim said, "I can write a lot of stuff.

I'm very seldom stumped

but you've got stuff in your purse

that I don't know anything about

and that's what I want you to empty out for me.

I wanna know what women know."

SUSAN: And I said, I was the last person

to get a bra. I love it.

I'm not burning it

but I will make a contribution to feminism

by having my own career and being a feminist,

but not by marching.

Women speak differently, and we have different ideas

and we have different stories.

I'm sure a man has never had to wear a bad bridesmaid dress.

- Mary. - MARY: Yeah?

Oh, it's bad, huh?

Well, come on out, kid. How bad could it be?

That bad, huh?

I'd say, uh, about the only thing worse

than this dress...

- would be this dress in purple. - In purple.

SUSAN: Mary Tyler Moore was real.

And it was the way real women

talked to their parents and their dates,

and their girlfriends, and Mary was the example.

A Chicago guy had written an article saying,

"Mary doesn't have enough sex." So I went in, and I said,

"I have a show where she can have sex."

- MARY: Rhoda? - What?

- Do you think I'm under-sexed? - (SIGHS) I hope so.

Really. I'd like to think

there's one thing I'm better at than you are.

SUSAN: All those things we were learning

were okay to talk about

and to do at the same time that the show did them.

But it changed the way women saw themselves.

- Have a nice time, you two. - You too, Mom.

Don't forget to take your pill.

- I won't. - I won't.

BROOKS: It was a throwaway joke

and... (CHUCKLES) ...it was racy at the time and it was huge.

I call it creeping smut.

I see it everywhere, in bookstores, in movies,

in libraries, and now in television.

Look what happened

on The Mary Tyler Moore Show recently.

She went out on a date and she stayed out all night.

BEA ARTHUR: All night? Our little Mary?

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

You can sneer if you want, Maude.

But let me tell you this,

as Mary Tyler Moore goes, so goes America.

Look, I'm not sure if this fits right.

NORMAN LEAR: Mary Tyler Moore for television

represented America at that moment

in that fresh release from the ancient womanhood.

In a landmark ruling, the Supreme Court today,

- legalized abortions. - ♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Murray, your marriage? - Mary,

you know I love Marie. Marie is not Gloria Steinem.

Well, what's this "Gloria Steinem" thing you have?

I mean, you take away Gloria Steinem's super intellect

and what do you got? (CHUCKLES) Never mind, bad example.

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

BROOKS: I was asked to speak

to Lady Bird Johnson's

- conference of women... - (BIRDS CHIRPING)

...and it was a theater holding 1200 people, all women.

And Gloria Steinem spoke just before me,

and derided The Mary Tyler Moore Show

- and that we're anti-feminist. - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

GLORIA: The question is, "Why does Mary Tyler Moore

still call Mr. Grant, 'Mr. Grant?'"

BROOKS: This comes up every once in a while...

GLORIA: (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah?

...and it just... it just seems right.

We talk about doing a show--

- (CROWD BOOING) - BROOKS: No, no.

And they booed me. (CHUCKLES)

(GLORIA LAUGHS, SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

BROOKS: Just based on what seems right to us

about the character's behavior.

- Mr. Grant, you should-- - Now, it won't work

if you're calling me "Mr. Grant." Call me "Lou."

Well, wait, uh, would that be for, uh... just for the purpose

of this conversation?

We, uh... for, you know, all time?

I'll decide later.

- You think you can, Mary? - Call you not Mr. Grant? Sure.

- Well, I'm glad it's okay. - Oh, yes, it's okay to say it.

- Really, Mary? - Really, Lou.

♪ (MELODIOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- Call me Mr. Grant. - Thank you.

Was there some talk one time about the Mary Tyler Moore Show

being anti-women's lib or...

- or too pro-women's lib... - Oh, well, it depends...

- ...or something. - ...on where you're sitting.

I... I don't think it's anti at all.

I think there are two ladies, living by themselves, working.

Very-- As realistically as you can get

on a television series at the time.

But the viewers see it in those terms sometimes.

Sh-- Oh, yeah, you see what you feel, you know?

But do you ever find yourself

pandering to the people who are your fans

so that you can keep them your fans?

- No. - INTERVIEWER: Anyway...

- No, not at all. - ...in any way? Get around?

See, there is a perfectly logical explanation

for what you heard.

Oh, really, Mary? And what is it?

We were having an orgy.

JIM: If you wanna do a show on network television,

you have to appeal to the whole country.

You had to appease 40 million people.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

RONDA: Mary was what I like to call a feminine feminist.

I know she didn't like to call herself a feminist.

BEVERLY: She didn't think feminism was so hotsy-totsy.

There were women that just didn't like it.

She identified with it up to a point.

RONDA: She loved the spoils of femininity.

She loved the clothes, the hair and the makeup,

and she loved to take that and dress up how tough she was.

It was a good costume for her.

BEVERLY: One day I said, "You are a woman's libber.

You have your own show.

You have a child and you were divorced.

You have set the standard for a woman

to be on her own."

JIM: She was aloof. She was reserved.

She had an incredible veneer.

I only saw power from her. I didn't see underneath.

JOHN: Mary was either fully engaged

in the activity around her and giving you her attention

or she was completely disengaged,

virtually in thought all the time.

BEVERLY: She always wanted to be better.

She always wanted to be different.

I just thought she was marvelous

and every time she would be insecure and say,

"I'm so worried. I mean, I have to be really good."

The Sunday show, Mary Richards, producer.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS, CHEERS)

BEVERLY: Who was Mary really in real life?

She was insecure about buying lipstick.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I usually look so much better than this.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JOHN: I have this image of Mary walking.

It's evident in the main title of her show.

She looks proud and almost regal and she wasn't that way at all.

It just was how she carried herself.

ED: There's the actress Mary

who was the best civilian in charge I've ever seen.

She was cold-blooded in her way.

And there's the character Mary who was an adorable doll.

There's not a great deal of control in acting.

RONA: Did you have a lot of control over

MTM Enterprises?

No, I was never involved in that.

- Nor am I. - RONA: It just bore your name?

Yes.

JIM: MTM is Mary's company. People don't realize that.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) That's all, folks.

JOHN: The portrait that hangs in Mary's house,

that was in my father's office.

It was always clear who the boss was.

She was of course the figurehead.

But running the day-to-day, my father was always

at his post, as he would call it.

At that desk was the happiest I'd ever seen him.

That was his business to run. And she was fine with that.

If Grant had come to me and asked

my feelings about something opinion of, people or script,

I would certainly give them.

JOHN: While they may have talked about it, I don't know

how much he would've solicited her advice.

I think they had lanes in which they both stayed,

and it worked out well.

The lead actress of the year in a series is...

- Mary Tyler Moore. - (AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS)

JOAN: I never saw Mary

actively involved in the business side of MTM,

but there was no question the company reflected

her sensibilities.

Mary was very instrumental,

certainly in setting the tone on set.

RONA: Looking back, do you regret

that you didn't put your own imprimatur on things?

MARY: No. You know, one can be guilty about the things

one has never done in life. I try not to do that.

Sure. that would be nice were I an entrepreneur

and I had been involved in that aspect of our business

but it has never interested me.

And nor has directing or producing.

And I really love acting and that's all I want to do.

JAMES: MTM became a large company

with a lot of shows on the air

and a lot of different people coming in.

JIM: That was the west wing of writing back then.

- They had six sitcoms running. - (AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS)

JIM: The network would have a lot of notes

and then Grant wouldn't give them to the writers.

JAMES: And the one thing we all had in common

was loving the ass off Grant Tinker.

We're grateful to our cast, you know that.

We're grateful to Grant Tinker for helping us

to always preserve our creative freedom.

(AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS)

The winners are... Ted Knight and Valerie Harper.

VALERIE: I do all my scenes with Mary and she's the best.

She's a winner and she lets us all win Emmys.

I mean, it's incredible. Truly.

JAMES: Her modesty, her humility,

her need to have people happy around her,

created the tent that went over all of us.

Then don't make a mistake.

No goody two shoes, Mary wasn't goody two shoes.

Nothing got in the way of the work.

Thank you so very much.

ED: I'd like to thank our two producers,

Alan Burns and Jim Brooks,

for choosing me to be a member of the best

damn ensemble company I've ever worked with.

I really am so proud to be in that company

- and I am so grateful. - Thank you very much.

ED: Grant Tinker, our godfather Jay Sandrich.

- Most of all, we have Mary. - ED: Treva Silverman.

TREVA: I was first woman writing alone

to win an Emmy.

I didn't know what it would look like from here. (CHUCKLES)

It looks terrific.

Marty Cohen, Susan Silver wrote those words,

and without them, I'd just be another pretty face.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JIM: To be around that energy

on the Radford lot in Studio City,

I'd like to say it was the best of times.

It was the best of times. It was Camelot.

ED: Well, I would like to say to actors everywhere,

may you have the pleasure and joy...

of being with and working with Mary Tyler Moore.

- Thank you. Thank you all. - (AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS)

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JOAN: Mary, with all of the accolades

she's gotten, I think she's a much better comedian

than anybody ever gave her credit for.

ALLAN: "Chuckles the Clown" was named by TV Guide

as the funniest single episode in the history

of television comedy, when it's about death.

Chuckles the Clown was just killed.

He was dressed as a peanut and an elephant crushed him.

Stop trying to cheer me up, Lou.

ALLAN: And it was about

how different people react differently to death,

and some people have to laugh it off,

and Mary didn't think it was proper.

Why is everyone being so callous about this?

"Callous"?

Well, I'll have you know, dear,

that Chuckles and I were very close.

I baked the first custard pie he ever sat in.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Life's a lot like that.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

From time to time, we all fall down

- and hurt our foo-foos. - (CHUCKLES)

JOAN: She was just masterful,

but she was also incredibly inventive.

REV. BURNS: If only we could deal with it as simply...

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

...and bravely and honestly as Mr. Fee-Fi-Fo.

And what did Chuckles ask in return? Not much.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

BURNS: In his own words...

"A little song, a little dance,

a little seltzer down your pants."

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

JOAN: There's a moment in "Chuckles"

where she's laughing and then the minister talks to her.

- Excuse me, young lady. - And he says, "You, young lady."

And she goes, "Huh?" And she looks around

hoping there's somebody behind her that he's talking to.

Yes, you.

Uh. Would you stand up, please?

- (WHIMPERS) - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Please. Please. Won't you?

(CLEARS THROAT)

You feel like laughing, don't you?

(LAUGHS)

JOAN: That kind of invention only comes from someone who has

such a deeply rooted sense of human behavior.

BURNS: Go ahead, laugh out loud.

Don't you see? Nothing would've made

Chuckles happier. He lived to make people laugh.

So, go ahead, my dear. Laugh for Chuckles.

(SOBS)

JOAN: Mary Richards was Mary Tyler Moore inside out.

Everything that was inside Mary

was right there in front of the camera

for people to enjoy, and admire, and root for.

We have our very last show...

- Oh, yeah. - ...coming up on the filming

- schedule in three weeks. - GUEST: No!

- Yes! - Yes. And this one's gonna be a guest on it.

JAMES: It was on our fifth year.

And they say, "Let's go out on top.

Let's go out on our sixth season."

And I said, "Seven." And they said, "Okay."

Ted, you're staying.

And the rest of you guys, I'm gonna have to let go.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

- You're letting us go? - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JAMES: "The Last Show" was murder

because of all the attention we had.

People writing about nothing else.

The world stopped. She wanted to go out on top.

Thank you for being my family.

(SOBS)

TREVA: Each year, we all would give

Christmas presents to each other.

You would think a lot about what to get somebody.

And a lot of my friends were reading a book called,

How to Be Your Own Best Friend.

I thought of Mary as been a little way isolated

and so I bought that for her.

This was the beginning of my getting to know

the fragility.

And she said, "Oh, you lovely lady.

Somebody understands that I'm not Mary Richards,

that I'm not happy all the damn time."

- ♪ Its a long way to Tipperary ♪ - ♪ Long way to Tipperary ♪

- ♪ To the sweetest girl I know ♪ - ♪ To the sweetest girl I know ♪

(SMOOCHES)

MARY: It had been a whole week

of intermittent bursting into sobs for everybody.

- ♪ Farewell Leicester Square ♪ - ♪ Farewell Leicester Square ♪

♪ It's a long, long... ♪

MARY: That moment of going back, opening the door

and looking around at the seven years that faced me

and that was about to go off, was sublimely tough.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, for the last time,

Mary Tyler Moore.

MARY: Thank you.

The best cast ever. Ed Asner.

(CROWD APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

- SPECTATOR: Yeah! - Ted Knight.

- SPECTATOR: Yeah! - Gavin MacLeod.

SPECTATOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Betty White.

Georgia Engel.

Valerie Harper.

And Cloris Leachman.

Thank you.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ (SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

RONA: You're not a perfect person.

- I'm not a perf-- - Yes, I am.

- RONA: Come now, Mary. - (CHUCKLES)

RONA: We know, I'm not perfect.

- You are not perfect. - Exactly.

- RONA: You know, there's this... - Yeah.

...other side and you've coped a lot,

and I'd like to know how you get through it.

What do you use in order to get

through those very, very rough times?

You lost a sister.

MARY: She was 21.

She had been living with a young man

whom she loved,

and he broke it off with her and she couldn't handle that.

And so she drank and she took barbiturates,

and nobody is sure

whether or not that was a purposeful act

but she died that night of an overdose.

RONA: What do you call upon

to get you through those kind of times?

I don't know how to describe it, except--

You know, to use the word, survivor.

One who survives. I believe in tomorrow.

I believe that things that are painful...

uh, will not be as painful in some time.

ANNOUNCER: From television city in Hollywood.

♪ I want to be happy ♪

ANNOUNCER: How to Be Your Own Best Friend.

♪ I want to be happy ♪

ANNOUNCER: How to Survive the 70s

and Maybe Even Bump Into Happiness.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mary Tyler Moore.

♪ I want to be happy But I won't be happy ♪

♪ Till I make you happy too ♪

RONA: What does friendship mean?

- Trust. - RONA: You're kind?

And respect for intelligence. Um, a compatibility.

It's almost like a marriage without sex.

Um, isn't it?

- Really. Yeah. - RONA: Of sorts?

Enjoying the same things,

being able to fight and fight fairly.

RONA: Do you think that's what ruins marriage?

- Sex? (LAUGHS) - RONA: Is that the sex-- Yeah.

REPORTER: Actress Mary Tyler Moore

has filed for divorce from her husband, Grant Tinker.

The two were married for 18 years

and together they created and ran MTM Enterprises,

the television company

that gave us The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

RONA: What really started the process

of Mary Tyler Moore saying to herself,

"The time has come for me to become an independent person,

no longer attached to a husband."

You moved back to New York City.

- MARY: Yes. - RONA: And you said to me,

New York City was gonna provide me

with a new kind of life.

You divorced after some 17, 18 years of marriage.

Is it difficult to be on your own?

MARY: Oh, yeah. It's very difficult.

Marriage relationships or lover relationships

are destined to last a certain amount of time.

Never think of that as a failed marriage.

And it has nothing to do with why a marriage ends.

Who wants it to end, who doesn't.

It's just completely alien to you

after that amount of time.

It's a big transition to make.

In my case, it coincided with a change in career

and it may have looked as though I calculated,

"Oh, now, I'm going to end my marriage.

I'm going to do drama. I'm going to move to New York."

And it truly didn't happen that way.

TREVA: I knew she was in New York

because she was starring in a play

called Whose Life Is Anyway?

which was diametrically different from Mary Richards.

It was a drama

with a lot of sarcastic, sardonic humor

of a woman fighting for the right to die.

MANNY: The phone rang and it was Mary Tyler Moore

who said, "I want to do that play."

The extraordinary part was,

Mary Tyler Moore was a major, major star in this country

and she decided to walk away from that.

And she came to the first rehearsal

fully memorized.

MARY: Well, I didn't really leave television.

What happened then was that I was offered the play,

Whose Life is it Anyway?

And it was so beautifully written and...

had already been a success with Tom Conti starring in it

that I wanted to try that.

MANNY: Mary Tyler Moore replaced Tom Conti

who had won the Tony.

And it's a rare item that somebody goes in

after a star and replicates the role.

I'm not quite sure

what the impetus for her doing that play was.

Everyone will take credit for it because it was a unique moment

that hadn't been done before.

I suspect it was always her idea.

The truth is, I didn't think of it,

nor did the director.

MICHAEL LINDSAY-HOGG: We talked about it and she said,

did I think it would work with a woman playing the part?

And I thought, "Why wouldn't it?"

And so, Mary came to New York and we started rehearsing.

MANNY: She was ahead of the game.

Not only did she replace the man who won the Tony,

but this was one of the most glamorous women in America.

And she decided to play a woman that was paralyzed

and had a sheet covering her

in a hospital bed for the entire evening.

You were so successful for so many years,

it's just like people are waiting

for someone as successful as you are to have a failure.

And they were--

It seems true that they were hoping

maybe you'd just retire from show business

but you didn't. You went to the Broadway play,

which was not an easy thing to do.

Oh, I... I don't have

such a jaded view of people. (CHUCKLES)

It's that, I think there are maybe about 17 people

who hope you fall on your face...

- LETTERMAN: Yeah. - ...but we tend to magnify that.

I don't think it's true.

I'm awfully glad I did that play.

TREVA: She was extraordinary. She got incredible reviews.

MARY: It was a terrific achievement for me.

It exonerated me from Breakfast at Tiffany's,

and again it showed

a rather skeptical New York contingent

that there might be something to television after all.

TREVA: I went backstage to see her and I told her

there was not one gesture, not one single thing

that was a Mary Richards kind of thing.

And she said... (GASPING) "...I'm so glad

because you're the first person from the show who's been here."

And she said, "I was very, very intent

on not doing any Mary Richards."

Funnily enough, The Mary Tyler Moore Show

now mirrors my life.

Uh, when I was filming that show,

I was married, I was born married.

I'd never had the single experience, you know?

And for the last three years, I've been on my own,

and now living almost every one of the episodes

that we filmed. (LAUGHING)

All those situations, I can now say,

"Oh, now, I really understand what was happening."

I decided to stay in New York

and try to capture my life for myself.

TREVA: Here she was, 40, seeing what life

for an adorable single person was like.

And she loved what it was like. (CHUCKLING)

The only way I could say it is that she was more like Rhoda.

It was wonderful.

Adolescence.

I think that's what I'm going through now.

And I think that's a positive term

as opposed to a negative one.

And I think it will make me a better actress.

MARY: I dated, I made friends. I had a little apartment.

I did my own shopping.

I sort of played house, but in real life.

New Yorkers are really very friendly.

I get truck drivers and cabbies,

"Hey, Mar, it's good to see you. Love the show." (CHUCKLES)

MARY: You're in it, in humanity and all kinds of people,

not just one class of people.

Because Grant was so much a part of my life,

I felt no need for friends

except those people with whom I was working.

But now, I have many friends.

TREVA: Her humor didn't come out so much in L.A.

But in New York, she was loose, and free and funny,

which was adorable.

BILL: Everybody wanted to take out Mary Tyler Moore.

RONA: Are you dating?

MARY: Oh, I hate that word. (CHUCKLING)

I see people. I go out to dinner with people.

I travel with people and I consider them my friends.

MICHAEL: We had a relationship while the show was going on.

We were helping each other.

I was trying to make her really good in the play.

There was a part of Mary which was absolutely delightful

and very funny.

But then, there was another part of her,

which was nervous as a person who is wondering

if they've made the right choice.

PRESENTER: A good evening and welcome

to the 34th annual presentation of the Tony Awards.

The ultimate test for a performer

is the naked stage.

It takes courage for someone who's made a successful career

in another medium to chance this.

So, when someone does take a chance and brings it off,

she, in this case, she wins our respect.

The people who administer the Tony Awards

have this year in their wisdom

decided to give a special award to Mary Tyler Moore.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

This, um, will symbolize for me

forever the absolute joy in creative risk-taking.

It's the essence of live theater

and I am so very proud to be now a part of that community.

My deepest thanks to Manny Azenberg

for inviting me and to all of you

for this very warm welcome. I love the neighborhood.

Thank you.

MICHAEL: At one point, Mary wanted

an exclusive relationship

but then she said, "But I don't know what I mean."

It wasn't like she wanted to get married again.

There was the issue,

which was an occasional issue then of Mary's drinking.

One vodka on the rocks at dinner, she'd be great.

Two vodkas on the rocks, same.

But usually if she had a third cocktail and some wine,

she got slightly belligerent. She'd lose concentration.

And so whatever conversation you were having

might take a wrong turn.

MARY: I found myself not going out after five o'clock

and making sure that everything was set up for me near the phone

that was near the television.

And that I had my blender full of drinks

that I was concocting

in an attempt to do something worthwhile in the kitchen.

(CHUCKLING) It was a pretty sad lady

that was emerging.

LETTERMAN: I saw this movie, Ordinary People.

What a-- It's a killer. It's just terrific.

- Thank you very much. - And...

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

Did you have to wait in line for a long time?

I waited in line for about an hour.

- (GASPS) - Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't do that.

Who had the foresight to say, "She'd be great"?

Well... Bob Redford, um...

told me that when he had first read the book

in galley form, four years before

he had envisioned me as... as the mother

before he knew he was going to...

buy the... the property and make a movie.

And he said also that he had always been fascinated

by what might be the dark side of Mary Tyler Moore.

because in most everything I've done,

it's been sunny, and open, and optimistic.

And he knew, that little devil, that there... (CHUCKLES)

...there was a lot of other stuff happening.

ROBERT REDFORD: I had a place in Malibu.

I was sitting there just looking out the ocean

and suddenly this woman walks by.

What it looked like to me was that she was sad.

I said, "Oh, that's Mary Tyler Moore."

And we had always seen Mary Tyler Moore as this

happy-go-lucky, upbeat, wonderful, wonderful character

who was full of joy and innocence.

In the film, Beth's... barrenness of emotion

derives from the fact that she lost her son Buck

in an accident

and that she can't deal with the surviving son

because of what this has done to her.

- CALVIN: That is great. - Do it.

- Calvin. - Just a second. Smile.

- Calvin. Give me the camera. - No, I didn't get it yet, Beth.

- Come on, give me the camera. - Dad, give her the camera.

MARY: That was such a change of pace

that a woman could be so brittle inside

that she could alienate her son. I saw her as a victim.

All right. What do you think?

Very nice.

I saw her as very reminiscent of my own life.

If it's starting all over again, the lying, the covering up,

the disappearing for hours,

I will not stand for it. I can't stand it.

- I really can't. - Well, don't then, go to Europe.

ROB: When I saw her in Ordinary People,

I thought that's more like who she is.

She didn't want to talk about things

that were uncomfortable.

JOHN: I'd seen some of that in Mary

in her more serious moments with my father.

I'd seen that pensiveness, the hand wringing.

You drink too much at parties, Calvin.

JOHN: I'd seen anger, hurt, confusion,

the inability to connect with Rich.

I'd seen flashes of that.

You were, uh, loved and adored as Mary Richards,

who was anything but what Beth is.

And now you're loved and adored

because you're just kind of a... a nas--

- Not a nasty person, but-- - MARY: I don't know

if I'm loved and adored.

In times past, people would come up to me

in the street and say, "Hey Mar, how are you?"

Now, they're going, "Ah, hi."

(CHUCKLES) But that's terrific, I mean...

JAMES: In 1980, in a grim instance

of life mirroring art...

you faced a new torment, did you not? That echoed...

the death of that son in Ordinary People.

REPORTER 1: The son of television star

Mary Tyler Moore is dead.

REPORTER 2: But the coroner is still doing tests

to determine if 24-year-old Richard Meeker

deliberately shot himself.

MARY: He died in an accident with a gun.

JOHN: The reports that it had been a suicide

would further cause anguish and it just was so unfair.

There was no doubt in my mind from the very beginning

that that was an accident.

I knew Rich, I knew he could be... careless.

He loved life too much.

He was a really lovable goof.

He explored. He loved people. He had a huge heart.

Yet he had a side of him

that was just a little accident prone.

MARY: He had a gun collection. He was lying on his bed

and he was fooling with one of them.

RONDA: When I viewed that movie,

I thought Richie had already died

when she played that role.

And then it turned out that life imitated art, sadly.

TREVA: Richie died three weeks

after the premier of Ordinary People.

So, the Oscar nomination for best actress

that followed was bittersweet.

DUSTIN: For her role as a mother unable and unwilling

to bend her own self-imposed restrictions

on the meaning of love and life,

Ms. Mary Tyler Moore in Ordinary People.

(AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS)

Ladies and gentlemen of the Academy,

your choice is Miss Sissy Spacek.

BILL: When Richie died, that really changed her.

She was, like, really searching herself.

That had an effect on her that lasted.

RONA: There are people who have the same experience

and then they stop living.

They don't know how to go on. They don't know how to cope,

and they don't know how to make the next step.

Yeah, well, he would've hated that.

He would not have wanted that to happen.

I'm still angry.

I haven't quite reconciled it.

Um...

I don't have a religious belief that...

I can rely on that says, "Well...

we are here on earth to put--

To prove ourselves worthy of heaven."

So, I have anger and I'm working through that.

♪ (SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DR. ROBERT LEVINE: In her high school yearbook,

Mary wrote, "The world is ready

to welcome talent with open arms."

It was through talent that she could gain acceptance.

She understood that talent was the thing

that was going to be her life, was going to save her life.

And was going to gain the attention that she craved.

I wouldn't call her reserved. She was determined.

Just because you have a smile on your face

doesn't mean you're not ready to go to battle.

The full story of Mary was both,

the fighter and the person so willing to offer a smile.

TREVA: How she and Robert met was out of a fairytale.

BEVERLY: Her mom and her dad and Mary had gone to Rome.

She got an audience with the Pope.

MARY: My mom and dad and I were coming back from Europe

and the plane landed in New York.

My mother was very ill with a bronchial infection,

so I called my doctor and it was Rosh Hashanah

He was at temple. But there was a Dr. Levine,

who for whatever his own personal reasons,

was not at temple.

ROBERT: I was the only Jewish doctor working.

I really didn't know who Mary was.

MARY: So, we took her over to Mount Sinai Hospital

and while he gave her the once over,

- I did the same to him. (LAUGHS) - (LAUGHS)

- MARY: And... and thought... - Mary!

Well, now, exactly my very words, Sarah,

- "Mary!" - Okay.

Because I was a few years older than he

and, well, probably still am.

ROBERT: I went to her apartment a couple days later

just to examine her mom. Her mom was doing well.

So, I said, "You're clear to go back to Los Angeles."

Mary then said, "You know, Dr. Levine,

I haven't been feeling that well either.

Could you listen to my chest?"

As I was leaving, I said to Mary,

"If anything comes up, just give me a call."

So, Mary said,

"Is acute loneliness a good enough reason to call?"

And I said, "I can't think of a better reason

to be awakened at 3:00 a.m."

(RINGING)

BEVERLY: She called me on the phone

at 2:00 in the morning and she said,

"I have just met the most wonderful man."

I said, "It's two o'clock in the morning."

She said, "He's just wonderful. He's young."

And I said, "So?"

ROBERT: So, a few days later, 3:00 a.m., she did call me,

and she said to me, "Do you cook?"

And I lied and said, "No." And so she said,

"Well, I guess we'll have to go out to dinner."

BEVERLY: The minute he came into Mary's life,

she fell in love for the first time in her life.

I wasn't well equipped

to have a first date with someone like Mary

because I wasn't a person who dated at all.

I didn't have any moves, if you will. I had no game.

I think that was what Mary may have liked about me.

Welcome to Malibu East...

- (CROWD CHUCKLE) - (CHUCKLES) ...here in Quehog.

- That's my mom. - Beautiful downtown Quehog.

Are you good, Pam?

PAM: Yeah. Now, I'm taking pictures.

- MARY: Dad, take a picture of-- - No, keep it, Pam.

- MARY: This is Robert. - Hello.

ROBERT: So, Mary was 18 years older than me.

I was an old man by the time I met her.

And she was still a young woman.

MARY: So, Robert is a very old soul.

And I'm probably the baby.

I'm the brat of the relationship. (CHUCKLING)

But that's really not true. Um, that's a joke.

Well, the truth is that I have always depended

on an older, stronger influence in my life,

whether it was husband or father.

And there came a time in my life,

coincidentally just when I met Robert

and the magic was there

that I was ready to be my own person.

So, with Robert, it was an opportunity to say,

"Okay, now this is truly equal. You got nothing to fear here

'cause, look, how much younger he is than you.

You have the experience now." It always appears that I've been

vitally independent but not truly

in my private life, I was very much a person

who liked being directed and led.

RONA: Does Mary Tyler Moore wanna get married again?

I don't think so. No. I don't see any need for that.

We're doing this roast for Mary Tyler Moore

because soon she'll be Mary Tyler Levine.

(BOTH LAUGH)

- You're sure? - Yes, I am.

Okay. So, who will start? Betty.

Betty White will now start with the roast potatoes.

BETTY: It's not a roast, it isn't.

- It's a paean. - BEVERLY: It's ham!

BETTY: It's a paean of... of gratitude.

It's a... It's a thing that we should all...

We all wanna do...

- Pretend to do. - ...but we just don't know how.

No, we don't have to pretend, darling. We love you very much.

And as far as I'm concerned,

I have answered so many questions

about my career, about how do I realize

how much Mary did for my career?

Oh, Christ.

- And I say, yes, I do! - Forgive me, Robert.

I didn't mean that. (CHUCKLES)

BETTY: But what? No, no.

I'm so glad we have holes in this.

I wouldn't know where to put my arms.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

- Or my boobs. I can... - (CROWD LAUGHING)

If there is any way I could possibly help you

and any kind of advice you'd like or any kind of poem.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

You just... call on your Bets.

(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

(MARY SCREAMS)

- Are you all right? - I'm okay.

- I certainly... - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- That was so perfect. - She never drinks.

- (CHUCKLES) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

BEVERLY: Marge. Marge, don't you have something to say?

Just a little something to your daughter.

- Come on, Mom. - BEVERLY: Come on, Mom.

Stand up here and say something and be really good.

- (CROWD LAUGHING) - Be the best you've ever been.

Roses are red, violets are bluish.

You once were a Mick and now you're Jewish.

(ALL CHEER, APPLAUD)

Cut. Stop.

He is one of those rare doctors...

who truly cares about patients.

He sometimes can't go to sleep without them... but not often.

And that's to his...

benefit too that he's not a crazy person.

He can go to sleep...

and...

wake up in the morning.

Oh, shit!

(ALL CHUCKLE)

Anyway, I think you'd all like him.

Now, go away.

REPORTER: And one of America's favorites had a wedding last night.

Mary Tyler Moore married Robert Levine.

He's a doctor.

The wedding was at a Fifth Avenue Hotel

with 250 of their friends.

MANNY: Was it unlikely? Probably.

Was it unexpected? Absolutely. But I went to the wedding.

I remember saying to her, "Well, you finally achieved

what every New York Jew or Catholic mother wanted.

You married a doctor."

BEVERLY: Their wedding was wonderful.

I was her matron of honor. It was great.

So, she had a priest and he had a Rabbi. (CHUCKLING)

BILL: Mary's father was the most gentile person.

He could walk past the synagogue and neutralize it.

It would become a Unitarian church.

He was standing half under the chuppah and half out.

He was afraid that if he got under that thing,

something was gonna happen to him.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

ROBERT: We rehearsed how we would address

the first dance together and she didn't want to lead,

but she knew that if I didn't step up,

that's what was gonna happen.

So, I had to figure out how to take control.

But after that it all devolved into a very special party.

MANNY: I made the blessing all for the bread

with a full heart.

They were an odd couple.

She married a regular person,

but she was devoted to him and he was devoted to her.

You can't ask for anything else.

He got up at 12 or one in the morning

and made a tuna fish sandwich. Not for him and me but for me.

And it was the most loving thing

that anybody had ever done for me before in my life.

I've been given jewels,

I've been given a lot of... things that don't...

we all think are obviously of value.

But for me, the most thing that was of value was

that tuna fish sandwich...

that was for nothing

from someone, who gave it only to me.

ROBERT: Loving Mary was easy. She opened the door

to something about me that I thought was shut forever.

RONA: Today, I have this feeling

that I could put my arms around you

and I could touch you...

and that you would respond.

But many years ago, when we first met...

I think I would be scared to death

- to touch Mary Tyler Moore. - Of me? (CHUCKLES)

RONA: For total fear

that I would really be rebuffed by you.

There was such...

- a coolness... - I know.

- ...such an aloofness, Mary. - Yeah.

And I see, I don't see that Mary now. What happened?

I don't know. I can't explain it.

I-- Maybe it's just growth, maybe it's analysis,

maybe it's finally saying,

"All right, I'll let myself show with all my flaws.

It's not the end of the world if I'm not perfect."

And, uh, you know, it was that misguided thinking.

I'm sure that kept the shield around me that called--

That caused people to call me the "Ice Princess."

I mean, I was never cold to people

but I never really confided in people

and I never shared any of the... the ugly sides

or those things that I thought were ugly.

And now I will do that.

- (TELEPHONE RINGING) - Boy.

Hello? It's Mrs. Ford, the president's wife.

MARY: The big turning point of my life happened

after spending a year with my husband, Robert,

who is a very tender, dear, and very wise person.

I was able to see myself and what I was doing

without realizing it,

how I was living in the fast lane,

and how it just seemed to me I had to live in the fast lane.

And so came that time when I began to look at myself

and what I was doing and I changed.

- Hello? - Hello, Mary.

- This is Betty Ford. - (AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

ROBERT: She had had Betty Ford on her show.

And she knew of Mrs. Ford's treatment

of people with her difficulty with alcohol

and the Betty Ford Center in California.

- Hi, Betty. - (AUDIENCE CHEERING, LAUGHING)

This is Mary, Queen of Scots.

MARY: Liza Minnelli had just been there

and Elizabeth Taylor had just been there. (CHUCKLING)

And I called the Betty Ford Center

and I made my appointment

and they took me the very next day.

And Robert, he said goodbye to me at the jetway.

But the confidence of having just been hugged

and kissed by him,

and the two bloody Marys that I had on the plane,

got me there and began the grand process

of chipping away and chiseling down

to the real me or the blob that was me.

That was going to become... a person.

With the help of some counselors

and a lot of group therapy sessions,

I was able to examine myself and the way I handled my life

and the way I handled problems,

and I allowed myself to be imperfect.

It was at that point that we started looking

at the country house, and looking at gardening,

and horses, and... and stuff like that.

(BRAYS)

MARY: It's nice, isn't it, Linus?

LINUS: Yes. Winny and Sundance.

MARY: Shut up, Dash.

You better get used to it, Dash, they're part of the family now.

All right, so here we are coming out of the barn

and this is the new arena

that eventually will have, um, a ring in it.

ROBERT: A ring?

MARY: You know, for the horses to ride.

- ROBERT: It has a ring in it. - MARY: Around the edge.

- ROBERT: Look through the visor. - MARY: Well, I can't really look

through the visor because then it makes it

too bumpy. Shut up, Robert!

- (BLOWS RASPBERRY) - MARY: And just to-- (CHUCKLES) John.

(BRAYS)

JIM: I went to see her in Millbrook.

It was nice to see her in a bucolic setting.

Nothing to do, but beautiful. It was very sweet.

REPORTER: Mary Tyler Moore

is the woman we're talking about today.

She occupies her own very unique place in the hearts

of television viewers coast to coast.

But at home, her five horses

and her two dogs don't seem to know

that she's one of the great comediennes

of American television. They do know, however,

they occupy a special place in her heart.

When she needs to take a break from whatever she's doing,

be it a play, movie, TV show, or charitable endeavor.

Self-styled workhorse,

Mary Tyler Moore works with horses.

Her Palomino pal is named John

and the Philly who's feeling her oats

is Laughing Lucy.

This handsome albino is Mary's pride and joy in part

because she's known him since the beginning.

John was born in Mary's stable just about a year ago.

JAMES: Your book ends so beautifully with a metaphor

inspired by a blue-eyed albino foal.

- What is the foal's name? - MARY: John.

JAMES: What was your brother's name?

MARY: John.

ROBERT: Mary was largely alienated from her brother

until a number of years after we had met and married.

I think she was sorry that she missed the years

that she missed of having a family.

MARY: My brother John, he developed kidney cancer.

And he died holding my hand.

- MARJORIE: Okay, one last photo. - MARY: Which one? In the middle one.

MARJORIE: So you've got it? Last picture.

He saw pictures of Mary taken by the Chuppah.

- JOHN: To Mary. - MARJORIE: Yeah.

- JOHN: I love you. - MARJORIE: Ah, that's good.

MARY: John is almost five months old now

and looking very much like a camel.

Very much like a camel.

Here you go, baby. Look how tall he is.

See, he's right up to my face,

which is not looking terribly great

'cause I don't have any makeup on, all right?

Normally, I'm so much cuter than this.

But anyway, John.

Hi. Don't I look so much cuter today?

No, really? Seriously. Look at my face.

See, I have eye makeup on. My hair, properly dressed.

Let us proceed-- No, Dash is getting busy.

So, Dash, you wanna get this ball?

Okay, watch it now. Track it, good dog.

Again, again. Wow! An almost mid-air catch!

RONA: The public, did they expect

too much of you, Mary Tyler Moore?

I've never felt that I was restricted.

And I, as you know, I've made a lot of changes.

TERRY SIMS: She wanted to leave Mary Richards forever behind.

And so, it was challenging sometimes to find new roles.

I want you to see something.

- NANCY: Very nice, Pearl. - MEL: For God's sake.

I want you to consider my age

and ask yourself how I maintain this?

MEL: Mom, why are you doing this?

- How? I don't know. How? - (MEL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

I couldn't have a baby.

But I had to fight the laws of gravity just the same

and you need the help of a good bra.

And believe you me, if you wanna keep

your husband's attention, you'll get one pronto.

- (CROWD CHEERING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I know that you've been very active in the fight

- against juvenile diabetes. - Right. Looking for the cure.

JAMES: You're the international chairman, are you not?

Yes, of the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation.

JAMES: And I believe that your husband,

Dr. Robert Levine is active too, is he not?

- Yes, he is indeed. Say, hello. - JAMES: Please stand up.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

ROBERT: With the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation,

it really was a chance for her to be back in the ensemble,

to be part of a movement

because the status quo was not acceptable.

You know, the lives that children were living

in those days were shortened.

BERNADETTE PETERS: She went to Washington

to talk about juvenile diabetes.

She raised a lot of money. She moved progress forward.

But we cannot lose momentum. Not now, that we are so close.

So, I ask you, Mr. Chairman, members of the committee,

look around once more.

Listen to the voices of the children

who will tell you their stories today.

And when you retire to your deliberations,

promise to remember them.

ROBERT: Mary helped them raise close to two billion dollars.

Hope, that very much depends on actions, you, your colleagues

and the administration choose to take.

(CROWD APPLAUDS)

RONA: From the moment you decided

that this is what I wanted to be.

I wanna be a dancer. I wanna be an actress.

Were you ever rebuffed, were you ever turned down...

- Well, now, I'll tell you this. - ...I mean--

I will go to my grave thinking of myself

as a failed dancer, not a successful actress.

♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

It's all a fake and someday they'll see it.

It'll all go away.

Now, this fake...

was in a show that won numerous Emmy awards.

This fake and Dick Van Dyke won best acting awards

in 1964, 1965.

And this fake won the 1965 Golden Globe Award

as female TV personality of the year.

♪ ("NUTCRACKER SUITE" BY DAVID HAMILTON PLAYING) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

- (CHEERS) - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

- (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

There's your mama. Here's your mama.

♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

RONDA: Mar was always strong-willed.

She never gave that strong will up.

She was very secure in those last years

when Robert was around.

As for what the diabetes caused her,

I firmly believe without question,

Mary Tyler Moore lived ten years longer

than she would've lived without the care of Robert.

ROBERT: Being that person for Mary, that loving protector

included making tuna fish sandwiches for her

in the middle of the night

or getting up and getting her a glass of orange juice

when her blood sugar dropped too low,

whatever it took.

RONDA: We saw Mary Tyler Moore fight her way back

from the edge of death so many times

that she should have been gone.

She had been in the hospital three weeks.

Robert was always there but the man would get exhausted.

So, he would go home at night

and I'd sit in the hospital room with Mary.

I'd read the Bible to her.

I'd talk about The Mary Tyler Moore Show,

and I do remember that she leaned back and said,

"It feels great to remember."

BEVERLY: When she was dying in the hospital...

(SNIFFLING) ...I'd crawl into bed with her

and just held hands.

I couldn't stand that she was gonna die.

It's a horrible disease.

MARY: Hi, sweetie. Um, I just had a low blood sugar

and I think we've...

we're on the way to correcting it anyway

with some orange juice and cookies.

So, gimme a call when you can. Bye-bye.

REPORTER 1: We begin with breaking news.

Actress Mary Tyler Moore has passed away.

It is the loss of a true legend in Hollywood.

She was a television icon for a generation.

REPORTER 2: Mary Tyler Moore could turn the world on

with her smile.

REPORTER 3: Her series, The Mary Tyler Moore Show,

helped usher in a new era for women on television.

REPORTER 4: The actress died Wednesday

with her husband and friends at her side. She was 80.

BEVERLY: She was something special.

There was no one like Mary.

She was steel. And I miss her. I will always miss her.

She was just my best friend ever.

BERNADETTE: Her work as a comedian was unparalleled.

It's like a warrior,

someone that gets through it all.

KATIE: Mary tapped into something that is universal.

ROBERT: Mary's was a life that need not end

with her passing.

It's how we hold on to her

and what she did, and why, and how we carry it forward...

that gives her life even greater meaning.

BEVERLY: She was a wonderful symbol to womanhood

to the movement as everybody said.

"But she doesn't do anything for the movement."

She did everything for the movement.

- (AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING) - ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(SCREAMS)

You have no idea what you've meant to me.

OPRAH WINFREY: There are those of us

who we only had the television...

- MARY: Yes. - ...for inspiration.

And you were one of those women...

- Yeah. - ...who was a light.

JULIA: I think Mary's legacy is that

she's fundamentally shifted, in our culture,

how we perceive women in entertainment.

Period. End of story.

REESE WITHERSPOON: Her ideas weren't just siloed

to a character she'd played on a television show.

Women like Mary Tyler Moore cut a path

that I'm standing in right now.

PHYLICIA RASHAD: For all of her positive

and radiant energy,

she was no stranger to adversity and challenge.

She surmounted those things. She continued.

LENA WAITHE: I think she was meant to spark fire

with a very delicate match.

It impacted many people that followed.

Those women weren't just White

and they may not just have been women.

ISAAC MIZRAHI: Why did I like Mary Tyler Moore?

'Cause I'm American and I'm not a stone.

Because between her and Jackie Kennedy,

they shaped this country, between all of her portrayals,

between Laura Petrie and Mary Richards,

it's what shaped Americans' whole taste level.

JAMES: I think the real answer to who Mary has inspired

is as many women as Eleanor Roosevelt.

Knowing her, she deserves it.

- You know what? You got spunk. - (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

- Well, yes. - I hate spunk.

ED: I loved her. And she knew it.

How much Mary Tyler Moore exists in Mary Richards?

- Oh, a lot. Oh, a lot. - JAMES: A lot?

What of you is in her?

MARY: My good nature, my earnestness

and my belief in a happy ending.

I treasure you people.

(SOBBING)

JAMES: I think my favorite memory of her

is how dear she was when we wrote "The Last Show."

We had everybody saying their farewells on the show.

(SOBS, SNIFFLES)

I think we all need some Kleenex.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

GEORGIA ENGEL: There's some on Mary's desk.

JAMES: We'd forgotten her.

She was the only one we didn't give a goodbye to.

And her coming to the office for the first time

to ask for something in the script after seven years.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

- Mr. Grant... - (EXHALES, SNIFFLES)

...could I say what I wanted to say now?

- Mm-hmm. - Please?

(SNIFFLES) Okay, Mary.

JAMES: And that she was shy and uncertain about it.

It just killed her. And she had built the studio.

Well, I just wanted you to know...

that sometimes I get concerned

- about being a career woman. - (GRANT SNIFFLING)

I get to thinking my job is too important to me.

And I tell myself...

that the people I work with

are just the people I work with...

- and not my family. - (SNIFFLES)

(SNIFFLES) And last night I thought...

"What is a family anyway?"

They're just people who make you feel...

less alone...

and really loved.

And that's what you've done for me.

ROBERT: It's hard to look at

what others might call our love story

from an arm's length.

All I know is I carry her always.

(WIND BLOWING)

I'm walking literally in wall-to-wall shit.

ROBERT: Okay, we're gonna stop now, honey.

Okay.

- ROBERT: Say goodbye. - Goodbye. Bye for now.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ ("DISCO LOVIN" BY THE MELLOPHONICS PLAYING) ♪

♪ ("DISCO LOVIN" BY THE MELLOPHONICS CONCLUDES) ♪