Original subtitles

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Okay, and then one more time.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Okay, I'm gonna .

I did level this, and it might have moved

- a little bit. - Okay.

You wanna just tell me what you're doing?

Before I--just to give me a bit of a steer.

I know you have, very briefly,

but just tell me what it is all about.

- Just so I can-- - The documentary?

Yes.

So tell me.

Because what I don't know is--

I mean, I haven't seen or heard from Tony

in 40 years.

So, the last time I seen Tony,

must've been about 1981.

And I think it was 40...

42, 43 years ago.

It's just like he was wiped off the face of the Earth.

He's always been secretive about little things.

About little details of his life.

Especially when it comes to his family and his friends.

Well, how much do you really know

about Tony's history?

Only that he moved here from England in the '80s.

Well, I don't feel right telling you

any of this on film, though.

He said he came for work.

Nah, there's more.

I don't look back.

And some of the things that have probably happened,

I don't remember.

I put 'em out of my memory.

I don't wanna remember.

I've closed it out of my life.

Tony Powell--

I just shut down whatever that might be.

But sometimes...

I get these flashes.

And that was a reward for the defensive play

that earned him his first goal for Norwich City

in his first game.

He kept going, and off he went...

Is it okay if we come in?

Okay, that's for Monday.

Tuesday.

No, come here, come here.

Come, come here.

Come on.

I've been here for over 20 years.

And I'm not sure how I got to come here in the first place.

I'm old, I forget things.

Come on, oh, yeah, look who's here?

Hi, Sam.

- Oh, she's getting so old. - Yeah, she is.

When I took over as manager, my best friend Erika,

she then became the assistant manager.

There were some crazies,

like that one human trafficking incident in 103.

Remember that guy had all those hookers with him?

- Oh, yeah. - And the cops came

and busted down the door?

I know he's older than me, a lot older,

so I kind of found it a little strange

that someone that old would wanna be best friends with me.

But, through the years, he's become more of, like,

a father figure, a protector.

You've been cooped up here way too long, like,

you should travel and do stuff.

I do travel!

You have traveled.

I go down to the grocery store.

It could be your last vacation.

Oh, son of a bitch.

We've been friends for over ten years.

He's a good person, he's a very interesting person.

Like, there's not a lot of people like him.

Get the fuck outta here!

Didn't people, like, shoot up and die in here?

Yeah, no, they did.

Hi, Daddy Don from West Hollywood.

I've been here about 34 years.

The Holloway Motel's kind of iconic.

It's been here since forever and a day

that I've been here.

Sometimes it was a little bit known

as a tweaker hotel.

I mean, I've been here for 18 years now,

and it's always been a very pleasant,

cute-looking little motel when you walk by.

I don't even look at it, you know?

It's kind of old and run-down and unkempt.

Come on, Sam.

Sam the dog.

Do some tricks.

Oh, wow, look at this one dressed up.

I always see you out here.

You're always drinking a little glass of wine or something.

So, what's the situation with the individual on the balcony?

He's like a fixture.

He never moves.

But if there's any crime story,

that's--that's the guy, for sure.

Yeah.

Is there a secret crime story here?

Why, is he someone famous or something?

His determination to keep this game moving.

I've never talked about it to other people, really.

It seemed a bit blasé, as it goes.

Walk up to somebody, go, "I was a professional soccer player."

You don't do that when you meet someone.

So, you just meet someone,

and you know them from that meeting point onwards.

You don't ever ask what's in the past, usually.

You know?

Back when I was a kid, I entered all these sports.

I was, like, winning everything, I was captain of everything.

It was like...

And, of course, my mom and dad were, like, so happy, and...

But I can't help it, I was just doing what I loved.

And competing.

When I was a youngster,

you either wanted to be a footballer,

or you wanted to be a footballer.

It really was as simple as that.

I signed for Norwich City in '75,

had the pleasure of playing with Tony

for, I think he was here seven years.

If you're talking about Tony during that period on the field,

a long-haired yuppie

from bloody Bournemouth.

But Tony came in with little profile and reputation.

So, Tony Powell now with the Norwich throw.

So he had to earn his spurs.

On the goal line.

Up comes Powell.

Here's Sullivan.

Sullivan's still going.

And Powell, a difficult one for him--

Powell, yes!

Tony Powell!

Well, they won't get a luckier goal than that,

but they'll love it.

And that was a reward for persistence

and good defensive play

that earned him his first goal for Norwich City

in his first game.

It looked as if he'd lost possession of that...

Off the field, he was a gentle guy.

On the field, he was a monster.

What he had was heart,

and courage, and commitment.

You wouldn't wanna be playing against him,

he was hard as nails.

He'd go through a brick wall for you.

Nicely there for Tony Powell,

and, uh, two defenders going for that...

He wasn't dirty,

but he had a way of hitting people.

Tony Powell, who's had such a good game for Norwich,

and surely he can't get away with that.

Tony was very dependable, very robust.

And he's helped to make Norwich City a team to fear.

Would play game, after game, after game, after game.

Norwich City got itself one of those promotion places

to division one.

We got promoted after Tony's first season,

and when he left, we were still in the--

what is now the Premier League, the old First Division.

So, we've got Peters and Powell,

with Matt Busby involved now, Peters.

Over this side, we've got Jones as well.

Peters' shot.

Oh, straight at the back of the net!

Powell.

Powell again getting much more involved,

Tony Powell, in this second half.

And he became Player of the Year 1978.

It's very rare for a central defender to win that.

It's usually the goal scorer that wins it.

He was, you know, big personality he was.

And then, he sort of went to America,

never heard from him anymore.

I mean, I'd--I'd, you know, I'd heard...

...all sorts of rumors about Tony.

I heard he was in New York,

there's not been a paper talk about him

or anything more than that, no.

Holloway Motel?

We are closed down, we're not open, sorry.

No, we're closed down permanently.

Yeah, but now it--no, it's--

building's been sold.

It's no longer been a hotel.

The only remaining motel along West Hollywood's Route 66

will become home to community members

experiencing homelessness.

KTLA 5's Gayle Anderson is there with more details

on the Holloway Interim Housing Program.

It's not just a job for me.

I'm not just working here, I'm living here.

This is how the Holloway Motel looks right now.

Back in its heyday,

this was one of the Route 66 places to be.

They were in Hollywood.

Well, this project, this motel now,

will become interim housing

for people who are coping with homelessness.

What were rooms with a view

will now be rooms with a future.

Hello?

Tony, I'm sorry, just missed your call.

Okay, I want a date for when I have to move out.

I'm sorry?

The date for when I have to move out of here?

Well, we're saying escrow's gonna close on the 12th.

- That's our plan. - Okay.

But the city's supposed to--

and I'll talk to Brian about this, probably,

probably on Tuesday--

they're supposed to give you

an access agreement for a few days

so that you can move out, you know,

within a few days after that.

Okay, all right, that's all I needed to find out.

- That's the plan. - Okay, yep.

- Appreciate it, thank you. - You're welcome, bye.

Take care.

So that's it.

Couple of plates, okay.

Oh, that's a few years ago now.

I can't remember when it was.

- This is amazing. - What?

The photo of you!

You must be so young here.

I was probably early 20s.

Right there?

Before and after.

Say, what happened?

How does a professional soccer player

end up as a motel manager?

I don't know.

I don't know, it's like--

you're a professional soccer player for so long.

And then you're just another guy on the street,

looking for a job.

Let me get some stuff out.

Bear with me.

This book came out, it gives his birth,

birth of date of Bristol on 11th of June 1947.

Tony was "Mr. Dependable."

Former city manager John Bond made reference to Tony

in a long interview for their local Norwich paper recently,

and despite his updated news,

I have been unable to find Tony in his home in America.

His UK family don't know where he is either.

So, they couldn't track him down.

When I was growing up,

I had a great relationship with my parents.

I had a really good relationship with my mom and dad, you know.

When I packed up my suitcase to move out,

my mom was really upset that I was leaving.

My dad was going, "Get out of here!

Come on, let's go!"

My dad just wanted me to become the best soccer player I could.

I mean, I would never have done anything as a kid

if I thought it might upset my dad,

because he was...

He was too important to me.

I've dated girls, back when I was younger.

One girl I'd gone out with a couple of times,

her brother was, like, he'd been out in his backyard,

and he come in, and he has just a pair of shorts,

and he had no shirt on.

And I was thinking,

"Wow, my girlfriend's brother's really cute."

You know?

Back then, soccer was really, you know,

talk about being a man's sport.

I mean, everyone perceives an athlete,

professional soccer player especially, probably, like,

tough guys and masculine and, you know...

People think every soccer player's straight.

Well, I've got news for them.

It's not true.

Powell away from Coppell.

Fashanu on to , nice play.

Justin Fashanu was here when I was playing,

and he looked upon me as a friend.

And it's sad what happened to him.

You couldn't help liking him.

He had a great personality.

He's always joking and playing around and...

And he was such a nice guy.

He was so much fun in the locker room.

Everyone loved him.

He was a really cool guy.

He was a big, strong,

strapping physicality of a center forward,

who was a very bright kid.

He was switched on.

Ryan, Fashanu--

Oh, oh, way to go!

Oh, that's a magnificent goal!

The goal sort of typified what he could do,

which was, he had striking athleticism.

Rapidly, he became too good a talent

for Norwich to contain.

As far as Justin goes, I think,

if he's worth two million pounds,

then he has to be paid the wage of a two-million-pound player.

So, it doesn't really affect us.

And it's at that point that Justin, I think,

was in the crossroads in his mind,

because he was--he was spotted in gay clubs.

Now, so what?

But when you're a footballer,

and nobody's come out as being gay,

the police, I believe, had heard that,

and warned them that, "Get him out of there."

Justin Fashanu was one of the first

million-pound footballers.

In 1990, he stunned the football world

by declaring he was gay,

and his career suffered.

I think, arrogantly,

I thought that my position and standing in football

was such that it would cause a bit of a stir,

and people would have a bit of a giggle about it,

but that would be it.

But I was...

uh, kind of rudely awakened

by the fact that it really dug deep.

It's so messed up.

The 37-year-old was found dead yesterday

at a lock-up garage in East London.

It's believed he hanged himself.

Did you ever have fears that you'd be outed

when you were playing?

I've never really thought about it like that.

It was just--

I had a reputation, I was kind of...

...kind of a tough guy on the field.

I was torn, you know?

You're being somebody you're not.

I was living in fear, in lots of ways.

And the biggest fear, like, my family,

"Oh, you're gay, get the fuck out of here."

Today, if you're gay,

you can come out to your parents, you know?

Back in the '50s, '60s?

Completely different.

And so, just keep it to yourself,

and pretend to be one of the boys.

He was married then.

His wife, Marilyn,

was a larger-than-life character,

she was sweetheart.

She was gregarious.

Great personality.

I was married at the time, but...

...it was kind of, I don't know.

It was difficult.

It wasn't the best of marriages.

She didn't marry me because she loved me that much.

She married me because of the life I lived.

We'd get invited off to dinners with different people,

and we'd go to parties and do stuff.

So, you try and hide everything,

and that's not easy.

Sometimes...

I'd be home by myself, go home, and like,

"God.

Wish I could change this or do it differently,"

or, like, but you know you can't.

And then...

...and then, the person I got married to...

became the person I didn't want to be married to.

What about after you were divorced?

Was there ever a boy you had a relationship with?

What's he got to do with you?

Nosy bitch.

♪ There ain't no reason why you let me wait ♪

♪ Just give me up and I will go, let's set it straight ♪

♪ Let's set it straight ♪

♪ Got a right to who I am ♪

♪ And if I don't fit your plan ♪

♪ Then set me free ♪

♪ But you refuse to set me free ♪

I just wanted to go somewhere where I could be myself

and not run around hiding from everyone.

Children who need to be taught

to respect traditional moral values.

I got a right here!

DJ Larry Tee!

Are being taught that they have an inalienable right to be gay.

We are coming outta the closet!

When are you gonna come out of yours?

♪ Well, I ain't no superman ♪

What I'd done in England is what I'd done in England.

Now I'm creating a life here now.

♪ Just set me free ♪

♪ You get your fun just hurting me ♪

♪ Is that how you get your fun? ♪

♪ If this is how it's going to be ♪

♪ Just set me free, just set me free ♪

I honestly don't remember when I met him.

It's probably going out for a drink

at one of the bars or something like that,

I must have met him there.

What was his name?

David.

♪ I place myself in your hands to fall ♪

♪ But I'm not ♪

He was hilarious, like,

we'd go out to a club, like,

and, like, I'd be--

And he'd be fucking flying around the floor.

So, he fucked me up there, so...

I had him with sports,

but he had me with dancing and stuff like that.

He was completely different from me in lots of ways.

If we went out anywhere,

everyone wanted to be his friend.

He was happy all the time.

Like, I could slap him.

"Stop being happy all the fucking time."

But he was so much fun to be with.

♪ Give a damn ♪

♪ So, go find some other man ♪

It was like a new life, starting a new life with me.

I'm the odd one out in these different places,

and now I'm just one of thousands.

♪ Just turn your head to hear my plea ♪

Maybe I should have come out earlier and done this,

you know?

This is cool.

I love it.

It didn't last long enough.

♪ If this is how it's going to be ♪

♪ Just set me free, just set me free ♪

He got really sick.

And then, you know the rest, so...

Those are some,

I think I probably have more,

but this is just what I found yesterday.

And I thought this was cute.

All three of us at the fair.

He was my brother's partner.

He was my brother's protector, his friend, lover.

He's actually kind of his dad, too.

And this is where I wrote

"David and Tony were here" in Hawaii.

And that's in '93, June of '93.

I miss Tony a lot,

and I'm not sure the last time I talked to him.

Our last contact was in the late '90s.

Just bring all those pictures out.

No.

I can't, I can't.

- Why not? - It hurts a lot.

He was an amazing person,

you wanna keep his story out there, you wanna--

I know, but...

I can't.

Okay.

This is one.

This is David.

This is about six months before he passed away.

I knew when I met him he was HIV positive,

and it developed into AIDS.

They wanted to put him into hospice, and I said no.

I kept him at home.

I remember it was like, "Oh, we're gonna take this on."

Towards the end it got really ugly, though,

pretty fast.

His parents came over,

his brother and sisters came over, and...

...I was holding him when he passed away.

Fuck.

Stop it, come on.

I mean, it's a beautiful love story.

Yeah, it was pure love.

That's his story, that's his life.

I'm still thinking about him.

Been a long time.

Getting old girl, ain't ya?

For however long she lived after me,

she'd be miserable.

I'm pretty sure of that.

You have a bond with pets, you know?

But you've not had pets, have you? So...

But when you have one,

they're your little kids.

Did you ever think about having kids?

Nah.

Not really.

I'm good like I am.

Is that someone at the door?

Yeah?

So, how's your job?

Good.

You gonna miss this place?

Yeah, I'm gonna miss it a lot.

Sitting outside with Sam on the balcony every night.

To be honest, Tony doesn't really have anybody.

It's been 21 years I've been here.

So, I was thinking, apartment's gonna be about 800.

He was my old manager.

Took care of me when I needed help,

took me in.

Tony, I just kinda, like,

saw him more as, like, a grandfather, I guess?

He's just a very caring guy.

But he doesn't judge,

I think that's the special thing about Tony,

he doesn't give a fuck about that.

Now it's three weeks.

I thought I was gonna get a lot more time than that.

- This where we're doing it? - Yeah.

Hi. Hi!

I'm Tony.

- Curtis, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

Mask is optional!

I've lived here over 40 years...

and I've never once been out of work.

So, paid lots of taxes,

so they should be bloody giving me money.

Where am I gonna put the sofa?

Right here!

That's too small.

I assume we're going this way.

Morning.

Hi.

Lots of cupboard space.

So, I have four chairs,

tall ones, that'll fit right here.

That'd be good.

I can't wait to sit out here.

Sam's gonna love this.

I'm gonna miss this.

You're gonna miss this.

Oh, I am.

- Cheers. - Cheers!

- Oh, wow. - Okay.

Oh, you've got a nice breakfast bar.

Look at the balcony, that's only half of it.

It's the same size as yours.

No! That's only half of it.

Oh, this is nice.

And how much is this?

- Oh, it's cheap. $1700. - $1750?

Yeah, that's what they are.

You gonna be able to afford that?

You're gonna have to look for another job or retire.

No, because the--

When I retire,

Social Security will cover the rent.

Okay, yeah.

That's a really good deal, though.

All right, here.

What?

Chug it.

Wow, that's a big shot.

Okay, I'll do it from here.

Oh, that's not a shot!

No, you gave me twice as much as that.

No, that's the same.

No, it's not.

¡Arriba, abajo, al medio, adentro!

- Fuck you. - Mm. Ugh.

- Fuck you, you cheat. - I hate this shit.

- You've done half a shot. - I hate it.

So, it's been a long time, and it's over.

Six months from now we're gonna walk past here,

after they turn this into a homeless shelter,

and we're gonna be like, "What the hell is going on?"

I have no intentions of walking past here.

You will, though.

You won't think back on this place?

You're just gonna forget about it?

No, I mean, you can't forget 20 years of your life.

I moved from England here for a different life.

If I can do that, I can move from here

to somewhere else a few miles away.

But you never went back to England,

you forgot about it.

There was no reason for me to go back, you know?

I made a new life here, and it was good.

I mean, I've lived here now longer than I lived in England.

So...

You're a good girl, yes, you are.

There we go.

Ramiel, it's Tony.

I just got a phone call from one of the apartments.

It's been approved, I can move in on Friday.

So, thank you for all your help,

and give me a call, bitch.

All right, about time.

Come on, bitch!

Well, that's a big one.

What do you know about Tony's family in England?

He's always been secretive about little things,

about little details of his life.

Especially when it comes to his family and his friends.

Hello, welcome.

Hello!

What's up?

Good to see you.

Ready to move?

I know he has a big family.

Don't know much,

'cause he never talked about 'em.

I don't think he ever came out to them.

I think when he moved to LA, to get away from England,

that's when he was able to live his true self.

Look, Sammy, look.

Your new home.

He got a card or a letter from his relatives...

in 2019,

and it had a photo of him when he was younger

to prove that it was his sister.

And I, like, begged him to, like, write back,

just 'cause that was the first time

I even realized he had any family.

And he wouldn't.

I don't know why.

All the way around.

And again. Stop.

Why do you think that is?

I don't know, something must've happened, like...

...they must've judged him for being gay,

it could be anything, at this point.

♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪

That's a heavy one.

Get in! Okay.

♪ Lucid lovers, me and you ♪

Erika and Chris said your sister

wrote you a letter, like, four years ago.

They did?

They said they reached out to you with a letter

and they sent you, like,

the photographs that you have...

...of you being a kid.

I don't remember.

And then he got that feisty little thing...

♪ Who are you? Who am I to you? ♪

♪ I am the Antichrist to you ♪

I'll be surprised if they're still alive.

Yep, moving on.

The last chapter.

♪ Into your arms race ♪

♪ Who are you? Who am I to you? ♪

♪ I am the Antichrist to you ♪

♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪

♪ Into your arms race ♪

How did we know he was in that motel?

You did phone it, and then you phoned it again.

Yeah, the first time I phoned and asked for him...

- He wasn't there. - He wasn't there.

And the second time I rang,

and I know, I'm 100% sure it was him that I spoke to,

because I said, and I mean, I was trembling like a leaf,

"Can I speak to Tony Powell please?"

And he said, "Who?"

I said "Tony Powell."

"No one here with that--

no one works here with that name."

I think that's why we decided to write.

Yeah, you're right.

Because we were going to phone again,

and then we thought, "No, let's write instead."

So, this is the last letter that we sent.

So, we've put, "We have many wonderful memories of you,

and have always wished you the very best in everything.

We will close now, lots of love."

We've put here, it's 36 years now

since we last had contact with him, yeah?

Yes, that's right.

And then you've put, "We have enclosed

some copies of photos which you may like to see."

Yeah.

And he must've seen that letter.

I'm going to take it in.

It was Dad that phoned Tony's wife at the time,

Marilyn,

and he was then told that they'd split up,

that Tony was gay.

And we never heard, or saw, from Tony again.

You try and think, "Where has he gone, then?"

We couldn't find him at all,

it was just like he was wiped off

the face of the Earth.

Marilyn, one time I had a message saying

she thought she'd heard he died?

Yes.

And Gene, Roy's wife, said she'd heard that as well.

Clock, Great Britain.

It's just sad, this is all I own?

It's all a big heap in the fucking living room?

This is it?

Why's my...?

Stop.

So, your target heart rate is 144,

you have to reach at least 85% of that number, okay?

I actually wanted one of you to be in the photo.

I wanted both of you, could be,

but why don't we be in the photo too?

Kelly, could you, yeah, please?

Uh...

Maybe from here, try to get as many of us as...

Why don't you be in the photo here,

also, like, looking at me from here.

You can come a little bit further

so you can be in it.

- Okay. - One, two, three.

So, why am I struggling with breathing?

It could be various things,

and that's what I'm trying to figure out,

what exactly that is.

When you came to me because you have shortness of breath,

it suggested to me that there is something

not right with the heart.

What do you think is the reason that Tony disconnected?

'Cause he hadn't admitted to anyone he was gay.

I think he thought we'd be ashamed of him,

rather than still proud of him.

So, I presume that he just wouldn't be able to take that.

I can't put myself in Tony's shoes

to know what happened there, or how it felt.

It's very personal to Tony.

I mean, I can't condone anyone doing something like that.

Did something happen that made you feel like

you couldn't stay in touch with them?

Not really.

It was just that, like,

I was over here playing soccer,

and I was, like, traveling here quite a lot,

and they'd moved on.

You know, they'd moved on and they got married,

and I didn't have a clue where they were.

I had no telephone numbers or anything to call them.

If I'd had a telephone number I would've called,

but I didn't have anything.

And then my life just went on and on and on,

and like, you just, you even forget, you know?

Him walking away from us is one thing,

but walking away from his girls

is a totally different ball game.

There was one day, where, at the motel,

he got these weird phone calls

from some lady claiming to be his daughter.

I asked Tony, "Hey, do you have a kid?"

He didn't want to talk about it.

Nah...

Tony's not the type to mess with women.

I know he had been married,

and I had heard about a child, or two children.

So, he's in touch with his daughter?

You don't know? No, okay.

So, was there a disconnect between him and his daughters?

For a long period of time?

I didn't even know the ages, I didn't know the sexes,

nothing, he really didn't wanna talk about it.

It's probably easy for people to make judgements of me,

but you don't know what it was like

to walk in my shoes at the time.

I mean, I'm not some evil bastard

that abandoned my kids, you know?

Some people might look at it like that.

That's not what happened.

When was the last time you spoke to them,

do you think?

Oh, God.

Long since--

It's been a long time.

And I'm what, I'm 75 now?

That's like...

...probably at least 35, 40 years.

What are their names?

Oh my God.

Fuck.

Oh my God, I've lost the names.

I can't fucking...

God, I can't remember their names.

That is fucked up.

It's still going.

♪ Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers ♪

♪ For a couple of hours on a beautiful day ♪

I've lost a--

I seem like I've lost a lot of weight recently,

I don't know why.

♪ I dreamed of you amid the flowers ♪

I just got the medicine from the doctor.

♪ For a couple of hours ♪

♪ Such a beautiful day ♪

♪ I dreamed of the places I've been with you ♪

- Tony! - No,

I haven't taken them today.

You haven't taken them for the past three days.

Yes, I have.

No, Saturday night,

Sunday night, Sunday morning.

You haven't taken any of these.

I haven't?

No.

Fuck.

♪ Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers ♪

♪ For a couple of hours on a beautiful day ♪

♪ Daydream, come share a dream amid the flowers ♪

Go on, go on.

Are you okay?

You okay?

Fuck, all right.

Fuck.

Hi, hi, it's...

It's Tony.

I have chest pains.

I think it's my heart.

Tony, if you're having chest pains,

I feel like I should come take you to the hospital.

All right.

It's right here.

It hurts.

You're feeling pain?

Yeah.

In 2002, I think,

was when the newspaper article from Daily Mail,

about Norwich having their centenary,

and they were looking for players

they hadn't been able to find that used to play for them.

One of which was Tony.

They asked me if I had any...

...any, uh...

Fuck, I'm fucked up.

They asked about family and what...

Any family I had back in England.

I remember when the article came out

and Jane rang me about it,

and she was quite upset.

There was a photo of Tony in fancy dress, with Dad,

and it was at a party,

and that was one of the photos

that appeared in one of the papers,

accusing him of being a cross-dresser.

Publishing somebody is gay,

then a cross-dresser, a sex change,

I mean, shocking.

Absolutely shocking.

He hadn't harmed anyone, he was just who he was.

And the awful sad thing,

when I think about this now,

is that the lie had to live through...

...the front he put up.

It makes me feel sick.

It's supposed to be 60%.

So, every time the heart pumps,

it's supposed to send out 60% of the blood out.

- Okay. - Okay?

Yours is currently sending out 20%.

Wow.

Which is considered severe.

Wow.

So, what can be done about it?

Well, there's medications

that need to be given for it to get better.

But it's not like,

"Here you go, take these pills,"

and I call you in the morning and you never show up.

These medications are serious cardiac...

Mr. Powell?

I understand you're being discharged.

Yes.

Wonderful, wonderful.

For good behavior.

Bless your heart.

So I can go?

Ah, you have to give me a little bit of time...

Okay.

...to get your paperwork ready.

Okay.

But, technically, yes.

The exit, let's go.

Faster, get out of here.

Are you so excited?

What about?

I'm gonna see Sam.

Gonna make a grand entrance, are ya?

Oh my God.

Hi, Sam.

Ah.

How you doing?

Oh, look, see, see how grumpy she is?

Yeah.

That's how she's been all day.

- Hey? - How she's been.

She's a grumpy little bitch.

Hi, Sammy, hi!

Are you happy to be home?

My little girl?

Fuck.

Fuck.

Sit down.

- I got you. - No, no, I got it.

Fuck.

You got it.

Hi, Samantha.

I love you, Sammy.

I love you, little girl.

You're my best friend.

Yes, you are.

Hello. I have a problem, and it's a horrible problem.

It's Sam, she...

She can't stand up and walk.

She just lies here.

I need to go to the vet, I think.

You know, the only thing you can do now

would be, like, put your dog on IV fluids.

So, we'll put a catheter in her,

keep her overnight.

I'm here tomorrow,

we'll touch base tomorrow.

Okay, so, I need to call you first tomorrow?

You can call in, but I can call you first.

As weird as it sounds, Sam...

Sam...

She's my daughter.

She is.

I'm not the only one like that,

other people are like that with their dogs.

I think.

Can I put you on a brief hold?

Yeah, sure.

- Hi, Tony? - Yes.

Hi, it's Dr. Kane.

Yeah, Dr. Todd, I know, was taking care of little Sam.

Okay.

Yeah, at this point, you know, Dr. Todd,

you know, wanted me to bring up,

you know, the other side of the coin

that, you know, it may not get better.

You know, there are no guarantees with this.

Okay, okay.

I, uh, I...

Hello?

One second, hang on.

Okay, I don't want her to suffer.

Yeah, no--

Is it--is it--is it better

for me to have her put down?

I mean, is she...

I mean, from what Dr. Todd was telling me last night

and from what I read through in his notes,

that would not be, you know, a wrong decision.

Oh...

Okay.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry to tell you...

I know, I mean, I've been in this spot, too.

As much as it pains me to say,

I think we should let her go.

I don't want her to suffer anymore.

I...okay, all right.

We can make that arrangement.

Do you want to come here?

Yes, I wanna be there with her.

What a good six months this has been.

I've lost my job, lost my home, now lose Sam.

It's fucked up.

I love you, Sammy.

Hi there, my name's Denise.

I believe someone from this number

called my brother, Roy Powell, yesterday,

with regard to Tony Powell.

Could you please give me a call back on this number?

It's a mobile number in the UK...

I don't think, you know--

I think you know me well enough

that if I said, "No, I don't want to do it,"

that would be it.

Yeah.

You know, but I'm open

to making contact with them, you know?

As a grownup, you know?

Growing up, they're my little sisters,

I took care of them, you know?

Anyone would fuck with them out on the street,

I was there.

I guess I want to talk to them.

Hello?

- Hi! - Denise?

- Yeah. - It's Tony.

Hello?

Hi, sorry, uh, um, it's been rather...

You okay--are you okay?

Is it really you?

Yes, it's really me.

Are you sure it's you? I just don't--

Of course, I'm sure it's me.

You're sure it's you.

So, how are you?

Besides, uh...

I'm sorry, I'm just...

You don't sound like you.

I suppose it's been such a long time,

but you just don't sound like you.

You don't sound like you either.

I'm 65.

Yeah, okay, and I'm 76.

Have you got a nice life now?

Have you got yourself sorted and have a nice life?

Well, 'cause I lost-- just lost my job.

Oh no.

I was managing a motel, I've done it for over 20 years.

So, especially, I'm in a new apartment now.

It's nice, it's nice and quiet here.

Have you got a dog?

Uh... uh...

She passed away last week.

Oh no.

Oh, I'm really sorry.

That must've been awful for you.

Yeah.

I had her for, like, 17 years.

She was old, she was a little Chihuahua.

I was going to ask about whether we could do,

like, a WhatsApp video call.

Yeah, we should.

- Hello. - Hello!

Hi!

Oh, hi. I've got to put my glasses on.

Have you got your glasses?

Hang on, hang on a minute.

Hang on.

Oh my goodness, look at you.

You look older since I last saw you!

Well, thanks for that.

Well, the last time I saw you, you were young.

Yeah, definitely.

I can't remember, I don't know, I was 23?

The last time I saw you, you were 23?

- Yeah. - Okay.

That's a long time ago.

It is a long time ago, yeah.

Very long time ago.

But, um, you just look like Dad.

Oh, really?

I look like Dad?

Yeah.

I tried looking for you so many times, and Jane,

we tried to find you.

Yeah.

I mean, you were such...

such a lovely brother, such a lovely brother.

And, um, we were just so sad that we couldn't find you,

I can't tell you.

And do you remember fighting with Roy?

I always fought with Roy.

We used to fight all the time.

And don't forget, I'm the baby sister

all the time.

Yes, I know you're the baby.

God, you were horrible little kids,

you were running around all the time.

I was a goody two shoes, I know that.

Yeah, you were, you were good.

Oh, Tony, I can't believe this.

No, nor can I, it's been so long.

Wow.

This is so good to see you and talk to you.

This is crazy.

I know.

Slowly, it was the eyes, his eyes, that I thought,

"This--yeah, this is-- this could be him."

So, it's, um...

been very positive, hasn't it?

Really positive.

We used to have a show, didn't we?

This Is Your Life, and there's a bit,

like, "You haven't seen this person in 30 years.

Well, here they are now!"

It's, like, do I want to go back and meet?

Like, I haven't seen 'em for years.

You know, what if they don't like me?

So, and I thought,

"It's never bothered you in the past.

Fuck 'em if they don't like you."

Our flight leaves around 5:00 today.

Oh, wow.

I woke up this morning, and I was like,

"Yes, I want to go, I want to do it."

So, I kind of changed a lot.

Wow.

Would you believe that?

Okay, we're out.

Okay.

Thank you.

Bloody hell.

It's bloody cold.

What the hell are we doing here?

Jeez!

I was inviting a stranger into my house.

And that's how it felt, and then, it got to the point,

"Well, what am I doing?

I wouldn't invite anybody else

who I didn't know into the house."

We're here.

- Eh? - We're here.

We're here?

They live out here in the boonies?

La-di-da-di-da.

Could've washed the windows while we're waiting.

What? There?

This is the house?

I feel like I'm about to meet a king or something.

Go in slow motion, we've done as much as we can.

I got my slippers, is that all right?

Yes!

Yes!

Well, look at you.

Come here, come here.

You look so well.

Look at you!

It's so good to see you!

It is you, isn't it?

It is me, yes.

Hug again.

God, you could've brought the nicer weather.

Ah.

And then, there were three.

- Thank you. - Do you like it or not?

- What? - Champagne?

- Yes, I'll drink anything. - Great.

Right, well, here's to family and the future.

- Cheers. - New chapter.

Yes. Talking about being in a chapter of your life now.

- Yes. - This will be the final one.

The final chapter, is that what you said?

Final chapter.

For all of us.

- We're all getting old. - Yeah.

Jane and I kept saying, "Well, what do we say?

What do we do?"

I miss that we could walk, restaurants, bars, theater.

Okay, well, I was living in West Hollywood.

- Which is the same. - And it's like nightclubs and...

I'm gonna...

This will--I will find some emotion.

I just don't know you yet.

But the fact that you're my brother,

I'm going to give this my best shot.

- So, um... - So, who is Roy living with?

- He lives... - Is Roy in a home or somewhere?

Yeah, like assisted living.

- Okay. - So, he has carers just go in

to keep an eye on him now and again.

Is he able to cook or do anything?

He's never been able to cook.

No, yeah, no. No, he was never a cook.

Jean did everything for him, but, then--

He needed instructions to open a can of beans.

Oh, let's give Cooper something to stop him jumping.

Roy is too frail to have the dog jumping up at him.

- Why did you ring the bell? - Eh?

Why did you ring the bell?

You all right there, Roy?

Cooper.

Come on, here you go.

Glad you made it.

So glad you got here.

Hello, stranger.

Been a long time

Oh, that's Roy. since I saw you.

When I lived with you and Jean.

He makes me feel young.

Go on then, come on, okay.

Hello!

So, this is your brother.

That's my brother.

What's up?

- How are you? - Nice to see you.

Don't stand, you're all right, you're okay.

- You okay? - Yeah, yeah.

He was quite tall, wasn't he?

- Who? - Huh?

- Who? - Uncle Bill. Remember him?

- Yeah, he was... - How do you feel, like,

Tony processes difficult emotions?

I think he puts them in a box.

He goes quiet.

He is a Powell and...

...he's not very forthcoming

in wanting to talk about it.

He internalizes it.

And I'm not sure we'd get anything out of him

if we hadn't have given him a drink.

Oh, I could not do that.

Don't be like Dad.

Do you remember the dried peas?

Marrowfat.

Mom had put it in the pot the night before so they soak.

Yeah, and, like, if there was no dried peas,

he'd be like, "Where's my bloody dried peas?

I don't want garden peas.

I want the dried peas."

I guess I don't understand why you haven't let your family

be a part of your life the past 40 years.

Well...

'Cause when I got to...

I mean, I started my soccer career,

it started from then, I left home at a young age.

- I was, like... - You're starting way back.

- Fast-forward. - Yeah,

but I'm consumed from then,

and that's when I lost contact.

You didn't lose contact, though.

They tried to find you.

You're living in LA as a gay man,

and your family and your friends cannot find you.

Is that a coincidence?

Maybe, or maybe I was just scared.

Everything I'd done all my life up until then,

like, I'd been accepted by everyone, you know?

And, now, as I'm gay and I come out,

like, it swung all the way around,

and now I'm scared of rejection

'cause of who I am.

And...

I lost contact...

...probably because of that, I think.

Let's go this way.

- Kipper! - Kipper, what are you eating?

He's eating grass, isn't he?

He'll follow us.

So, how did you get the job at the motel?

How did I get the job at the motel?

Yeah, can you remember?

Okay, okay, I think when I stopped playing...

- Yeah. - ...I wanted to get a job,

and I got a job at the motel.

Okay.

I wanted to say to him,

"Can you just tell us from--

what happened when you split up with Marilyn?"

Because I was hoping he would just tell the story.

Look over here.

That's a view and a half, isn't it?

Yeah.

Don't you go falling down there.

- Let's go and have a look. - No, I don't want to go. Stop.

He said, "There's no point in looking at the past."

But, sometimes, you have to...

really come to terms with the past.

I don't think he will be able to

until he's...

sorted out things with his daughters.

Kelly would be what there, eight?

Yeah.

And Danielle's hair was so blonde and curly, isn't it?

- Yeah, it was, yeah. - So, so curly.

Yeah.

Can you imagine being in Danielle's shoes?

In Kelly's shoes?

Their father, who they believe

just walked out and abandoned them.

I can't imagine how just awful that must feel.

So, I mentioned that Kelly has messaged Jane a few times

about, um, she hopes this documentary

isn't going to--it wasn't glorify him,

but it was something, another similar word.

"But I hope it's not going to be, um,

be glo--to glorify him.

Um, he was a good dad, but then he just went.

And in my book, there's no excuse for that."

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Is reconnecting with Kelly and Danielle

something that you think about?

Yeah, sometimes, I think it'd be nice.

You know, but...

Whether that can happen, who knows?

Could have done a lot of things differently,

but it is what it is, you can't change it.

Things have happened, it's done.

So...

And we've moved on with our lives.

Nice to meet you.

They might not have moved on from it.

Cheers!

Well, it's been a long time.

I don't know.

Tell me, what was Denise like when she was little?

Oh, what a pain in the butt.

No, she's wonderful.

- No, she's a great little... - Keep going, keep going.

Did she change much? No.

She was a great little sister.

She was really great.

Take care, take care of yourself, okay?

You look after yourself as well.

And you, you take care of yourself.

- Want to see you again. - You look after yourself.

No, you look after yourself.

No, you look after yourself!

It's been so good to see you again.

- Yeah. - It's been a long time. Okay?

So, take care of yourself, I want to see you again, okay?

- Roy, I love you. - I love you too.

I love you, man. Take care.

Huh?

Gonna make me cry now, you know that.

- Huh? - Making me cry.

I'm okay.

All right?

Bye.

It's like, I might never see him again.

Um, I feel quite...

a responsibility now towards him.

Um, he arrived on Sunday a stranger.

But he's going a brother is how I would put it.

When Tony Powell comes onto the pitch on Saturday,

a lot of people went, "Wow, I used to come and watch him."

So, you know, I think Tony's probably the oldest person

we've had come back because he's been away so long.

I don't remember anything.

It's completely changed.

It's like I've never been here before.

'78, '79, fans voted you Player of the Year.

So, you're on there somewhere.

There were some very scurrilous rumors about Tony,

but nobody knew anything, really.

It's been 40 years.

But it's still part of our history.

It all started from somewhere,

you know, and Tony was part of that.

A little bit different from the shirts we used to wear.

- Yeah. - A bit lighter.

Yeah, wow.

I appreciate it, thank you very much.

♪ One less care to feel a bit more care-free ♪

♪ Still not sure if I even lost or won ♪

♪ My heart was barely born ♪

I should've done this a long time ago.

It's, like, in the past now,

but then, when you start talking about it,

it becomes...

- ...real again. - ♪ Something bitter

in a box of sweet memories ♪

I've always felt like, "Shut the fuck up

and get on with your life, and don't talk about it."

And that's what I've done for most of my life.

And that's why I'm like I am.

I'm a bloody mess.

Tony Powell was a great defender.

- Tough. - Committed.

A great footballer.

Just a good brother.

Very good brother.

Remote.

- Cheers! - Cheers.

♪ Trip around the sun ♪

I would say protector.

♪ The only way you notice time is lines across your face ♪

Definitely protector, and that's who Tony was to me.

Loyal.

Assertive, reliable.

Reliable.

Reliable, both as a person and as a player.

♪ Shadow either way ♪

He was just dependable, reliable.

Probably words he'd hate to hear, actually.

That's the one thing that feels

totally out of character for Tony,

to not walk away from a marriage,

but, certainly, to walk away from the girls.

It doesn't make Tony a bad person.

Tony is a good person who made, maybe,

a bad decision,

a massively bad decision, in fact, but...

And I'm hoping, for his sake and for his daughters' sakes,

that they can find a path forward.

"Hi, Danielle and Kelly.

I thought I would let you know that, after 40 years,

we have received contact from your dad.

I am sure this has come as quite a shock for you

and raise many difficult emotions.

Please rest assured there is no pressure to reply

and you must do what is best for you."

No, what's the answer?

"Thank you, Jane.

I would like to hear from him if you could..."

"...pass that message along.

Can you give him my number to him and only him?"

So, she's now given us her phone number

to pass on to him, which is great.

Which is great, I never thought you'd get that.

- No. - And I think, um,

Tony will be quite shocked about that as well.

You've had some good news about Danielle

wanting to chat to you, haven't you?

- Yes. - Yeah.

I guess you're feeling, I don't know, nervous?

Okay.

Are you feeling nervous about it?

Yeah, a little bit, yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

The goal of this conversation, really,

is for you to have a successful chat

with Danielle, isn't it?

Unfortunately, it's a hard one.

I don't know. All we know

is that you abandoned your daughters and left them.

- Yeah? - Yeah, okay, I get that.

That sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it?

And I'm sorry if it comes over that way,

um, but that is the bottom line there.

Okay.

But it's gonna take a lot of courage from Danielle.

Don't expect it to be all joyful and...

It's gonna probably be quite a tough call

for both of you.

Yes, I'm sure.

Well, first of all, you don't call her a bitch

at any time.

So, the bottom line is, isn't it,

we would like the conversation to end with you saying,

"Can we please talk again?"

That was--that's the result, isn't it?

- That would be a great result. - Yeah.

That would be good, yeah.

What's the worst that can happen?

You know?

I have no contact with them now.

If they turn around and say, "Fuck off,

no one wants to talk to you,"

nothing has changed.

We're gonna be able to see one another?

No, it's just gonna be a call.

Okay, all right.

Don't want her to see me like this.

- So, 7:00 p.m.? - Huh?

- 7:00 p.m.? - Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, yeah.

No, as long as it's not...

As long as she can't see me.

That's fucked up.

There's still a fear.

If I don't contact them, I'll be okay.

But what if I try to contact them and they--

and they turn me away and don't want to know me?

I'm gonna feel twice as bad.

And then, I say to myself, "Well, how do you know?

How do you know if you don't try?"

All right, that's good.

All right, let's do it, that's fine.

Fuck.

Hi, Danielle.

It's Tony.

How are you?

It's so good to hear from you.

What do you hope the future holds for Tony?

Tony to have peace of mind,

that it's okay to be gay,

to be a footballer, not to be a footballer.

Just to have peace

'cause life is moving on quite fast, isn't it?

And not to feel regret that the last 40 years has gone by.

Just another chapter.

A clean slate.

Kind of sad, really, all the years I spent there,

you know, managing this place.

Wow.

Hope it doesn't get any rain.

Hopefully, he's in a good place

where he's accepting wanting his--

some people that loved him back in his life.

Um, so, I'm hoping he can live out his best life

with no regrets.

Hey!

And hopefully, I can be a part of it.

- Hi, old man. - How are you?

We're doing this again.

I hope that he has people around him

because he's going to be living alone

for the rest of his life.

And that he does have a relationship with the girls.

I'm not saying a full-on they're around all the time,

but for them to sit down

and for Tony to answer any questions

that they might have

that will enable them to move on in life

and not have this cloud over them

about what really happened.

So, whilst we're on difficult subjects,

I know we're stood in the middle of nowhere,

um, are you guys aware, and is Tony aware

that he has a son?

It's a lot of shocks, isn't it?

There's a guy called Tim

who's been looking for his father,

and he contacted Jane.

One year, my husband bought me a DNA testing kit.

So, Danielle did hers

and it showed I'm her aunt and she's my niece.

And then, this other name came up, Tim Lawrence.

He was adopted at birth.

Father name, he wasn't mentioned

on the birth certificate.

And he came back with, "So, do you know a Danielle Powell?"

And Jane said...

"Yes, she's my niece."

And he came back and said, "Well, that's my half sister."

I went, "What?"

This is all breaking news to all of us at the moment.

None so more than it will be to Tony.

Who's Tim?

Who's Tim?

Tim is, um, uh, the--your son.

He's my son?

Who--with who?

Um, uh, he's not entirely sure 'cause he was adopted.

A woman who lived in Bournemouth

who was a dental hygienist.

Wow.

Are you sure?

Are you sure he's supposed to be my son?

Uh, Jane is sure.

Oh, really?

How does she know?

Uh, she, uh...

Basically, it's a DNA test,

and so he came up as a half sibling for Danielle...

- Okay. - ...and as a niece to Jane--

or as a nephew to Jane.

Okay.

Okay, so, before we go back to--

any more running around that I don't know about?

It's weird.

Does he want to meet?

Then, let's do it.