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David,
4
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:19,996
honey, you don't have to do this today.
5
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It has to be this way.
6
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,516
David,
7
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,726
it's been 20 years.
8
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,109
Baby, don't you think you owe your
9
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,488
people more than an empty
office and a resignation letter?
10
00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,954
I sent Jay to stay with
Mom for a couple days,
11
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,914
but I think this is
something we need to talk
12
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,791
about when we get back, because I love you.
13
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,252
I really do.
14
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:10,046
But we're gonna deal with this later, okay?
15
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,925
I've got nothing left to give.
16
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,636
I won't be long.
17
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,304
I'm going to clear out my office.
18
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,617
Woo! I Mmm.
19
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,035
No, no, no, no.
20
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:42,662
Good night.
21
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,582
You know, I'm not gonna
let you have any more
22
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,709
of them sugar sodas,
because there is no way.
23
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:49,502
Calm down.
24
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,797
Now, I'm gonna calm down?
When we got the numbers like this.
25
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:53,881
You know what we're gonna have to do?
26
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,675
Look, right after this,
we're gonna do some jump.
27
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,343
Actually, we're gonna
walk all around the property.
28
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,929
Right after this, immediately,
because we need to,
29
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,390
patience is a virtue.
30
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,601
Really, Mama Hazel?
31
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:07,228
You're gonna tell me
that patience is a virtue,
32
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,981
when you're the one who has me out here for
33
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,982
the past 20 minutes,
waiting for your grandson.
34
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,151
Huh? I need to be patient?
35
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,653
Look, I know I told him
what time to get here.
36
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,988
Okay, oh, speaking of devil.
37
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,492
Speaking of the devil. Your grandmama's out
here just messing with-with these cards.
38
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,369
You know Mama Ruth.
39
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:27,040
I am glad that you are here.
40
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,541
You know.
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00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,417
Okay.
42
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,877
And you know what she did the other night?
43
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,630
Yeah, I was trying to get her, and she
44
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,715
mind your own business.
45
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:36,633
You know what? - Okay.
46
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,969
I went this morning to wake her up
by the time time I got there, whoo!
47
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,345
It was just a blur.
48
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,555
And that's after the third time,
49
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,223
she asked me what time it was.
50
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,976
Don't be here telling my business.
51
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,187
All right, you know what? I'm,
52
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,188
I'm too done.
53
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:53,149
So you know what I'm gonna do?
54
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:53,983
All right.
55
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,069
Umm, leave you all to it.
56
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:59,530
Um, I'm gonna come
back when it's time to eat,
57
00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:00,615
all right?
58
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,159
Man, you're great.
Grandmother is something else.
59
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,456
Now, Mama Ruth, I know
you not out here showing out.
60
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,173
So, how are you feeling this morning?
61
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,930
Well, today's the day.
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00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,434
I'm cleaning out my desk and
turning in my resignation letter.
63
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,025
Why?
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00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,571
Because I've been standing
in that pulpit for 20 years,
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00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:45,076
telling people to have
faith, that God has a plan
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00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,496
that he loves and protects us.
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00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,208
But where was he when Mama needed him most?
68
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,929
It's not for us to question him.
69
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,684
You know, I believed that
until I watched her waste away.
70
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,438
I can't keep doing this.
71
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:18,609
I can't keep pretending to have faith
when I don't even know if God exists.
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00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,198
I feel like such a fraud.
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00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,456
Mama Ruth I'm lost.
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00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,959
Completely lost.
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00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:43,176
God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change.
76
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:48,181
Courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
77
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:54,896
The problem is, I
don't know if I accept it.
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00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,111
I need to get to the office
and get this over with.
79
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,044
To the congregation of True
Vine Missionary Baptist Church.
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00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:27,423
Yes, Cheryl, I know it's last
minute, but I got that wedding.
81
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,716
Yeah.
82
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,426
Child, I can't be looking like this.
83
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:35,223
No, no, just a little trim,
nothing too dramatic.
84
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:40,019
Well, actually, I could use
a little punch up in the color.
85
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,021
These grays are winning the battle.
86
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,900
Tomorrow, can you fit me in around 3?
87
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,985
Oh, oh, won't he do it.
88
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:48,903
Thank you.
89
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,112
You are a lifesaver.
90
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,073
I'll tell you what, I will bring
you some of those lemon squares,
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00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,450
that you love so much.
92
00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,702
I know that's right.
93
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,925
I am worried about him.
94
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:15,179
Yes, 20 years our pastor, and
now this sudden resignation?
95
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,140
I know, I know.
96
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,768
Ever since his mother passed away, mm-hmm,
97
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,728
but you know what?
98
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,230
Something more is going on with him.
99
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,524
Mm-hmm. - He's not talking to anybody.
100
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,859
No, not even his wife, from what I hear.
101
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,987
Uh-huh.
102
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:35,408
He been packing up all week,
like, he can't wait to get out of here.
103
00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:38,953
No, the board meeting is not till Monday.
104
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:43,624
Oh, and then, Sister Brenda want to
call me talking about pastor seems.
105
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,668
I said, "Uh-uh, stop it right there."
106
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,378
I'm over here minding my own salvation.
107
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,796
I need you to do the same.
108
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:49,672
Mm-hmm.
109
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:50,339
Yeah, I sho did.
110
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,133
You know I don't play about pastor.
111
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,260
No, they do not know yet.
112
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,679
I I don't know.
113
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,431
Just me and his wife, I guess.
114
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,393
I know, I know, but it's just...
115
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:05,396
It breaks my heart.
116
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,648
I mean, this church is his family, too.
117
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,944
Girl, let me go ahead and
get out here and lock up.
118
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,070
Yeah, I know.
119
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,196
I hear this storm.
120
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,197
I'm trying to get home before it hits.
121
00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,824
My edges are flipping out.
122
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,160
Okay, all right, I'll see you tomorrow.
123
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,536
Thank you.
124
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,454
Bye.
125
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,432
Pastor?
126
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,395
Pastor Reynolds,
127
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,938
I-I'm getting ready to head out.
128
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,691
Is there anything else I can
get for you before I lock up?
129
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,860
Uh, no.
130
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,278
No, um.
131
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,446
No, but thank you.
132
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,364
I'm just finishing up.
133
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,205
Are you sure this is the right thing to do?
134
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,584
Um...
135
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,172
My mind's made up.
136
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,676
Twenty years, David.
137
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,386
Twenty years.
138
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,180
That's all a lot of lives touched,
139
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,557
including mine.
140
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,687
I appreciate you more than you know.
141
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:35,695
For what it's worth, I
still pray for your mother.
142
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,198
I know she is so proud of you.
143
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,703
Goodnight, Angela.
144
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:47,748
Well, uh... that storm is coming in.
145
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,292
Pretty strong.
146
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,335
You' sure you don't want to come back?
147
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,211
Maybe tomorrow?
148
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:52,878
I I can get...
149
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:57,091
No, I'm just gonna wrap this up now,
but you can lock up on your way out.
150
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,843
I have my keys.
151
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:01,178
Be safe, pastor.
152
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,850
Good night.
153
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:07,893
Good night, Angela.
154
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,429
Oh. Where is my phone?
155
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:56,478
Left it in the car.
156
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,918
Excuse me, but the church is closed.
157
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,174
Excuse me!
158
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,093
Whoa. Whoa.
159
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,428
Don't. You come...
160
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,512
Don't you come in you're closer.
161
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:31,597
Whoa... whoa... whoa.
162
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:32,723
Don't you come in you're closer.
163
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,352
- Calm down.
- You're not supposed to be here.
164
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:37,811
I'm Pastor Reynolds.
165
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,420
Why don't you put that
gun down so we can talk?
166
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,523
Oh, there's nothing to talk about.
167
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:44,067
What is that?
168
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,110
A shrine? - Ah! Ah...
169
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,154
No, no, no!
170
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,114
How dare you?
171
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,033
How dare you?
172
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,493
How dare you pretend to?
173
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,078
Care... care.
174
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,246
Look. Let me help you.
175
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,498
Help me!
176
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:58,373
Where were you,
177
00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,958
when I needed your help?
178
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,227
Where!
179
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,175
Listen, calm down.
180
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,220
Whatever you're thinking
about doing, look, don't.
181
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,180
Let's talk.
182
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,891
There's nothing to talk about this.
183
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,018
I didn't come here for conversation.
184
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,979
I came here for silence.
185
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,563
Absolute silence.
186
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,356
Turn around!
187
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:23,148
Turn around!
188
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,024
Turn around!
189
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:24,983
Turn on.
190
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,026
Okay, okay. - Turn around!
191
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,444
Okay, okay... - Take it easy.
192
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,737
Okay.
193
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:29,613
Take it easy.
194
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,115
Take it easy.
195
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,325
All right, all right, all right.
196
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,410
Look, you do not have to do this.
197
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,620
Look, just tell me what you need.
198
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,081
I need you to stop
talking, into the office.
199
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,457
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
200
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,249
Go! Go! Go! Go! No! Go!
201
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,377
Move, move, move, move! - Okay.
202
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,169
Move! Move! I'm not
playing with you, Pastor.
203
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,713
Okay, okay, okay.
204
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,424
All right.
205
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,389
Now, where's your cell phone?
206
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,640
I left it in my car.
207
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,100
I did not want to be disturbed.
208
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,145
I hope you're not lying to me, Pastor.
209
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,022
Look, why would I do that?
210
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,023
I am not lying.
211
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:09,028
Look, if you don't believe
me, you can search me.
212
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,286
Pastor, Pastor, sit.
213
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:23,167
Sit down and put your hands down!
214
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:30,758
What? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, a resignation letter, Pastor?
215
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,844
Oh. You're quitting.
216
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,515
While the rest of us are stuck.
217
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:44,063
Stuck here, trying to make some...
trying to make some sense of as hell.
218
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,234
Hey, hey, what's your name?
219
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,613
It doesn't matter.
220
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,948
Hey, look, it matters to me.
221
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,950
You came here
222
00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:01,455
and set letters on
the pulpit like a shrine.
223
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,500
Hey.
224
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:06,752
Hey, hey, hey.
225
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,712
That's you in that photo, isn't it?
226
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:12,716
It doesn't make a difference.
Who it is you'll find out.
227
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:16,094
You'll find out, you'll find out when you...
228
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,221
it comes to you, Pastor.
229
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,683
Hey, look, at least tell me if
you are a member here or not.
230
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,397
I was.
231
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,066
I was.
232
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,108
Then why won't you tell me your name?
233
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,151
It doesn't matter!
234
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,696
You'll find out when it is time.
235
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,700
I see you wearing your wedding ring.
236
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,913
Yes.
237
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,957
Yes, yes, I am.
238
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:49,044
Because it's all that I have left!
239
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:53,507
And that-that, that-that... haunting silence.
240
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,552
And no answers.
241
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,017
And the rest of the world, the rest
of the world, the rest of the world
242
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,604
just going by like they...
243
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,813
never even,
244
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,439
existed.
245
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:10,649
Listen, listen.
246
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,026
Is the they you're
talking about your family?
247
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,153
Pastor.
248
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,162
Hey, our plights aren't too different.
249
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:28,458
I came here tonight to say
goodbye to this place as well.
250
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:33,422
Not because I stop believing in God,
but because I stop believing he hears me.
251
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:42,014
How dare you?!
252
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:46,435
Plights! You don't know my life!
253
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,438
And my life is not like your life!
254
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,985
Can I please go to the
restroom? It's just through there.
255
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:08,999
I hope... that you're not trying to...
256
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,960
I hope. You're not
trying to trick me, Pastor.
257
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:12,669
I won't.
258
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:13,795
Hey, this is not a trick.
259
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,381
I've been here for hours.
260
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:21,136
Just finished my fourth cup of coffee,
so it's just running right through me.
261
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,353
Go ahead.
262
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,814
Okay.
263
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:37,861
All right.
264
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,325
Pastor, I don't hear any
water, going on in there.
265
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,203
I don't hear anything going on in
there, Pastor, what are you doing?
266
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:57,339
Do you know what the worst part of it is?
267
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,926
No, tell me.
268
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,930
It's everyone saying that God,
269
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,766
works in mysterious ways.
270
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,728
Oh...
271
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:15,482
You ever tell anybody that, Pastor?
272
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:19,486
That God works in mysterious ways?
273
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:23,448
Yes, I have.
274
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,202
Did you believe it when you said it?
275
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:33,667
I did when I said it.
276
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,669
But now.
277
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,671
I don't know what I believe in.
278
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,466
Ooh, well.
279
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,428
At least you are honest.
280
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,225
What the.
281
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,476
The power just went out.
282
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,353
That happens whenever we get a storm.
283
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,441
Okay, come on, come on, come on.
284
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:58,191
Move.
285
00:21:58,358 --> 00:21:59,484
Don't try anything.
286
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:00,694
Come on, come on.
287
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:01,987
Hands, keep them up high, Pastor.
288
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:02,654
Okay. - Keep 'em up high.
289
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:03,405
Okay. - Keep 'em up, high.
290
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,115
Okay. - Keep 'em up.
291
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,617
Now sit back down, Pastor.
292
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:09,619
Okay, I get it.
293
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:10,704
You're scared.
294
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,748
I'm not scared.
295
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:13,873
I'm.
296
00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:15,500
I'm. I'm done!
297
00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:18,420
Good.
298
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,422
The generator kicked back in.
299
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:23,925
But if the lights go out again,
it will reduce the power to 50%.
300
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,677
Ah,
301
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:28,597
nothing is going as planned.
302
00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:32,267
I came here to give,
303
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,519
you a message!
304
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,606
And and none of this.
305
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:40,776
None of this this, none of it!
306
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,278
Is gonna change.
307
00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,280
My mind.
308
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:50,285
Hey, your pain, your
pain, I can't imagine it.
309
00:22:50,994 --> 00:22:52,245
But this isn't the way!
310
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:00,962
Now, the next one won't miss.
311
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,467
Stay. Sitting. Down.
312
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,178
Pastor.
313
00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:12,099
This will be over soon.
314
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,433
What does that mean?
315
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,810
Oh. You'll find out.
316
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,648
Whatever you're going
through, it can't be that bad.
317
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,608
Right.
318
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,068
Right! Right, right!
319
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:23,777
You're right!
320
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:25,403
Like!
321
00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:30,742
God has a plan.
322
00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:32,953
Hallelujah!
323
00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,665
They're all in heaven.
324
00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:37,916
Praise the Lord!
325
00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:38,792
God is good!
326
00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,251
All the time!
327
00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:42,254
God is good!
328
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:46,925
Oh. Pastor.
329
00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:52,472
My 12-year-old granddaughter.
330
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:55,725
She had a whole life ahead of her.
331
00:23:57,435 --> 00:23:59,813
What kind of plan takes that all away?
332
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:01,039
Huh?
333
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,275
So something did happen to your family.
334
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,903
Pastor.
335
00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:09,698
Pastor, please.
336
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,246
Oh.
337
00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:18,039
Oh!
338
00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:20,542
Oh!
339
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:22,919
The pastor drinks.
340
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:29,134
The pastor is human.
341
00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,969
It isn't mine.
342
00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:33,304
It's from a guy I refuse counsel.
343
00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:34,014
He left it here.
344
00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:36,183
Vowing to never drink again.
345
00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:44,441
To the God that isn't real.
346
00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:54,159
Mmmmh. Ooh, ooh.
347
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,077
Umm.
348
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:01,082
Nah uh.
349
00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:03,309
Drink.
350
00:25:04,419 --> 00:25:05,462
Man of God.
351
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,881
Now, what is that gonna prove?
352
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:09,257
Hmm?
353
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,885
Maybe just that misery loves company.
354
00:25:15,555 --> 00:25:16,640
Drink!
355
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:30,195
Now you take a drink...
356
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:33,448
or I will shoot you.
357
00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:46,670
Now, does that make you feel better?
358
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:51,174
Do you think that is gonna
keep me out of heaven?
359
00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:57,013
I just wanted to see, see,
see, see, you've your hypocrisy.
360
00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:59,349
I am done.
361
00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:00,892
I am through with this conversation!
362
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:02,977
Oh.
363
00:26:03,019 --> 00:26:04,562
Now,
364
00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:06,356
Pastor...
365
00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:12,904
Isn't it your duty to do
whatever you have to,
366
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:14,948
to save my life?
367
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,200
How am I supposed to do that?
368
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,537
I want you.
369
00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:22,205
To look...
370
00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:26,251
inside that box and pull out that-that,
371
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:30,422
that Bible that you have
buried there, and I want,
372
00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:33,758
you to give me some divine message...
373
00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:36,219
about how God!
374
00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:39,264
Is gonna take my pain away!
375
00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,101
Go ahead!
376
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:51,026
Give me thee word!
377
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:52,944
You have all the answers.
378
00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:53,945
Why don't you tell me?
379
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:59,451
Ooh, Pastor, why do
you have to be so cynical?
380
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:08,668
You wearing that collar.
381
00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:13,048
And as long as you are wearing,
382
00:27:13,256 --> 00:27:14,591
that collar,
383
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:19,471
you're supposed to take care of your sheep.
384
00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:24,100
Find me a word!
385
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,148
That didn't sound good.
386
00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:33,860
Oh, oh! Don't, don't,
don't, don't you try it.
387
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,404
I'm not.
388
00:27:36,446 --> 00:27:38,531
But I do need to go see what happened.
389
00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:41,618
Fine.
390
00:27:42,994 --> 00:27:44,954
Come on.
391
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:49,959
Come on, Pastor, and I am...
392
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:53,171
Move the chair.
393
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:55,673
Mm hmm.
394
00:27:55,965 --> 00:27:58,802
Go ahead, and I'm right behind you.
395
00:28:04,724 --> 00:28:06,976
Yeah, that's, that's, that's a good one.
396
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:08,978
I hope you don't use that on me tomorrow.
397
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:10,480
Be...
398
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:12,315
quiet.
399
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,233
Woo!
400
00:28:13,733 --> 00:28:16,111
It's raining cats and dogs outside.
401
00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:17,779
Oh, finally, I was starting to believe,
402
00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:18,905
that no one was coming.
403
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,241
Marcus, you still here?
404
00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:23,701
Yeah, you know wanna,
405
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,286
have her here by herself.
406
00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:26,287
Where's David?
407
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:30,458
Uh, I haven't seen him since this morning.
408
00:28:30,875 --> 00:28:33,711
Oh, Marcus, thank you for staying with her.
409
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:34,478
Of course, baby.
410
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:35,713
You are so good to us,
411
00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:37,340
but I got her from here.
412
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,591
Okay. Thanks.
413
00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:39,884
You want something to eat before you leave?
414
00:28:39,926 --> 00:28:41,219
No, no, no, no, I'm fine.
415
00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:44,472
I will see you bright and early,
416
00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:45,139
Mrs. Hazel.
417
00:28:45,181 --> 00:28:45,781
All right.
418
00:28:46,516 --> 00:28:49,602
Have a good night, Marcus, all right?
419
00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:52,981
Did you have a good day? - Okay.
420
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:54,983
I'mma call David, okay?
421
00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:10,248
David.
422
00:29:10,957 --> 00:29:12,208
I've been calling you all day.
423
00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:13,877
Can you please call me back?
424
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:16,379
It's not like you not to answer my calls.
425
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,131
You're going straight to voicemail.
426
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,799
Call me back.
427
00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:21,176
I'm kind of worried.
428
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:27,974
He's not answering.
429
00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:28,933
Umm, ah.
430
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:30,268
Are you ready to eat?
431
00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:31,311
Let's eat.
432
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:33,646
Oh, come on.
433
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:34,522
Let's eat.
434
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,908
I just need to see what's
going on with the church.
435
00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,869
Okay, but I told you.
436
00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:49,203
Take it easy.
437
00:29:49,245 --> 00:29:50,079
Nothing funny, Pastor.
438
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,139
That doesn't look good.
439
00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:10,683
But it's fitting, though.
440
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,187
That water's gonna warp the
floor if we don't do something.
441
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:16,648
We?
442
00:30:17,023 --> 00:30:18,942
I'm holding you hostage, remember?
443
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:21,194
I haven't forgotten.
444
00:30:22,987 --> 00:30:25,406
I have some buckets and
the tarp in the storage closet.
445
00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:27,408
I'm just going to get them.
446
00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:29,619
Fine.
447
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:32,413
Fine, but don't do anything tricky, Pastor.
448
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:37,460
Don't try to be slick, or you will
get an express ticket to the afterlife.
449
00:30:37,710 --> 00:30:39,420
Let's go.
450
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:48,680
Can you carry this?
451
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,559
Can I get that tarp?
452
00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:03,171
Could you give me a
hand with this tarp, please?
453
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,279
You do look familiar.
454
00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:31,616
You said earlier that.
455
00:32:33,284 --> 00:32:34,869
You attended church here.
456
00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:37,455
Yes. 8:30 service.
457
00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:39,958
Ah. The 8:30 ghosts.
458
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,962
That's what Angela called
the early service members.
459
00:32:45,713 --> 00:32:48,966
We always sat in the back, and we left.
460
00:32:49,008 --> 00:32:52,929
During the final hymn, so
that we could beat the traffic.
461
00:32:53,971 --> 00:32:55,932
Mitchell?
462
00:32:56,724 --> 00:32:58,935
Sarah Mitchell, I remember now.
463
00:33:01,062 --> 00:33:05,149
Your husband was on the men's
retreat planning committee.
464
00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:06,333
Yup.
465
00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:07,110
Uh huh.
466
00:33:07,568 --> 00:33:09,445
He organized the fishing tournament.
467
00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:15,284
And you taught Sunday
school, if I remember correctly.
468
00:33:15,993 --> 00:33:17,620
Third and fourth grade.
469
00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:21,499
For six years.
470
00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,168
You were more than just casual attendees.
471
00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:25,586
Mm.
472
00:33:25,753 --> 00:33:26,629
Ah.
473
00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:28,022
I...
474
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,882
I grew up in the church.
475
00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:33,428
Sunday school, youth group.
476
00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:36,931
Bible camp every summer.
477
00:33:37,473 --> 00:33:39,434
Now, I was that girl,
478
00:33:40,476 --> 00:33:45,189
that memorized all 66 books of the Bible.
479
00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:47,692
I can see that.
480
00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:52,447
I went to Bible College,
majored in Christian education.
481
00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:54,699
I was planning to be a...
482
00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:56,951
a missionary before I met Mark.
483
00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:03,207
Where did you guys meet?
484
00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:06,461
Uh, in a...
485
00:34:09,756 --> 00:34:13,968
mission trip in Guatemala.
486
00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:20,433
We were helping build homes for the...
487
00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,813
hurricane victims.
488
00:34:28,983 --> 00:34:30,318
Now, Mark.
489
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,572
He knew the Bible better than I did.
490
00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:39,702
And he could make me laugh.
491
00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:44,457
And I'm not
talking about that fake laugh.
492
00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:49,629
I'm talking about that-that deep bellowing
493
00:34:50,546 --> 00:34:53,257
that. That. That laughter from the soul.
494
00:34:53,299 --> 00:34:55,802
It's like, ah ha-ha you know?
495
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,387
Oh, my goodness.
496
00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:00,932
You guys were the perfect church family.
497
00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:05,728
We tried to be. church every Sunday.
498
00:35:06,979 --> 00:35:08,940
We paid our ties.
499
00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:14,695
We did devotions, every
night and look where it got us.
500
00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:17,615
The accident.
501
00:35:19,492 --> 00:35:22,453
I I got a call from Jonathan Moore,
502
00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:27,249
who was head of the ER,
the clergy ER that night.
503
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:29,210
I remember.
504
00:35:29,252 --> 00:35:30,753
You were there?
505
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:31,562
Yes.
506
00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:33,548
You were still in shock.
507
00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:36,425
I don't expect for you to remember.
508
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:39,971
I. I.
509
00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:46,853
I remember that... you
held me when they told me.
510
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:50,022
I did.
511
00:35:50,314 --> 00:35:52,692
That they were gone,
512
00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:55,486
calling their names over and over and over.
513
00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:02,952
Emily, Jason, Lilly and Mark.
514
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:08,165
Emily loved taking photos.
515
00:36:08,207 --> 00:36:10,751
Jason loved dinosaurs,
516
00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:14,630
and Lily, just lost her first tooth.
517
00:36:22,221 --> 00:36:24,181
The drunk driver...
518
00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:28,644
I met with him.
519
00:36:29,562 --> 00:36:31,522
A damaged and broken man.
520
00:36:31,981 --> 00:36:34,066
I went to meet with him,
521
00:36:34,108 --> 00:36:37,027
and I. I. I couldn't speak,
and I looked at him, and
522
00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:39,113
he looked like a monster.
523
00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:41,949
He looked like the devil.
524
00:36:42,533 --> 00:36:43,826
And I...
525
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,495
I. I just ran out
526
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:50,708
of the room as fast as I could.
527
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,795
He came to me for counsel.
528
00:36:54,921 --> 00:36:56,255
What?
529
00:36:56,297 --> 00:36:57,381
About a week ago.
530
00:36:57,965 --> 00:37:01,636
He came by, wanting to
talk about what he had done,
531
00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:04,472
how alcohol was anchor around his neck.
532
00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:06,515
And?
533
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,851
I turned him away.
534
00:37:08,976 --> 00:37:11,937
I wasn't in any condition
to counsel, anyone.
535
00:37:11,979 --> 00:37:15,441
So. I just referred him
to a clergy friend of mine.
536
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:19,028
Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go.
537
00:37:19,111 --> 00:37:20,821
Come on, Pastor, let's
go, let's go, let's go.
538
00:37:20,863 --> 00:37:22,031
We got to go back to the office.
539
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:23,032
Let's go, Pastor.
540
00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:24,659
Let's go back to the office.
541
00:37:25,117 --> 00:37:25,868
Come on.
542
00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:27,453
Let's go. Let's go.
543
00:37:27,536 --> 00:37:28,204
Okay.
544
00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:28,846
Come on.
545
00:37:37,463 --> 00:37:39,924
You still haven't told me, why.
546
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:45,429
Why what?
547
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:50,601
Why a loving God, would let my family die?
548
00:38:00,736 --> 00:38:01,779
I can't.
549
00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:03,280
Try.
550
00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:06,701
I want to hear the speech.
551
00:38:07,576 --> 00:38:10,746
I want to hear what you have been,
552
00:38:10,913 --> 00:38:14,083
telling grieving widows and parents
553
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:16,961
that have lost, their loved ones.
554
00:38:18,295 --> 00:38:22,216
The speech that you don't believe.
555
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:27,221
Oh, how about my favorite?
556
00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,309
Joy comes in the morning.
557
00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:37,690
Or God works everything's out for good.
558
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:45,364
God never gives us more than we can handle.
559
00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:46,490
Oh!
560
00:38:46,532 --> 00:38:48,200
Sarah, calm down.
561
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,912
Oh, oh, oh, oh, your family in heaven.
562
00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,957
Oh, oh, ooh.
563
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:59,712
There is, there is, there is power.
564
00:38:59,962 --> 00:39:01,922
There is a message in this pain.
565
00:39:02,631 --> 00:39:08,971
That this... there is a test
that will strengthen your faith.
566
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,726
How. How dare you?
567
00:39:14,226 --> 00:39:15,728
These are lies.
568
00:39:15,853 --> 00:39:17,605
They're lies, they're all lies!
569
00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:21,567
My family, my family, they're
laying in the ground rottening.
570
00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:24,987
They're all dead.
571
00:39:27,656 --> 00:39:28,991
The house.
572
00:39:29,158 --> 00:39:33,204
The house is empty and their clothes.
573
00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:36,957
Their clothes, their clothes...
574
00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,668
still smell like them.
575
00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:42,421
How can you tell me?
576
00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:48,177
There is
a lesson, there is a message,
577
00:39:48,469 --> 00:39:51,097
there is something in the pain.
578
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,182
You're right.
579
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,185
It's all just words.
580
00:39:57,478 --> 00:40:00,940
Desperate attempts to make
sense out of a senseless world.
581
00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,735
Hey, this won't bring them back.
582
00:40:05,986 --> 00:40:07,905
I don't want to take it.
583
00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:09,406
I don't want to stay here.
584
00:40:09,448 --> 00:40:11,367
I want to go.
585
00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,202
I want to go where they are.
586
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,205
And what if there's nothing?
587
00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:21,127
What if this life is all we get?
588
00:40:22,878 --> 00:40:26,465
I spent years telling people about heaven.
589
00:40:27,967 --> 00:40:29,927
And now.
590
00:40:31,470 --> 00:40:33,431
I just don't know.
591
00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:37,935
But I do know that ending your life,
592
00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:41,647
dishonest their memory.
593
00:40:59,373 --> 00:41:00,332
Oooh!
594
00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:08,174
I can't breathe...
595
00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:28,986
Don't let me die!
596
00:41:29,111 --> 00:41:30,154
Don't let me die!
597
00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:41,165
It was an accident. - Wooo!
598
00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:44,459
It was an accident. I shouldn't
have grabbed for the gun,
599
00:41:44,501 --> 00:41:45,101
No... no... no...
600
00:41:45,106 --> 00:41:46,920
But we do need to get
downstairs to get that first aid kit.
601
00:41:46,962 --> 00:41:48,297
Where's... Where's your first aid kit?
602
00:42:01,727 --> 00:42:02,853
Come on, come on.
603
00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:03,896
Come on.
604
00:42:04,104 --> 00:42:05,272
Come on, take it easy.
605
00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:06,231
Easy.
606
00:42:06,273 --> 00:42:08,108
Go. Look, come on, come on.
607
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,945
All right, can you do it? You good?
608
00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:11,904
All right.
609
00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:13,614
Oh, no, oh!
610
00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:15,115
You okay?
611
00:42:15,199 --> 00:42:16,033
I'm all right.
612
00:42:24,458 --> 00:42:25,709
Oh.
613
00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,261
Here we got it. - You got it?
614
00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:36,937
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
615
00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:38,430
Whoa! - Yes.
616
00:42:38,472 --> 00:42:39,181
Yeah.
617
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,684
Here. Let's move everything back.
618
00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:43,769
All right, okay.
619
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:45,771
There'll be some antiseptic wipes in there.
620
00:42:45,813 --> 00:42:46,855
Okay.
621
00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:47,773
All right.
622
00:42:48,524 --> 00:42:50,693
You're gonna have to cut this
shirt and some scissors in there.
623
00:42:50,859 --> 00:42:55,197
Okay, got the scissors.
And the antiseptic wipes.
624
00:42:55,489 --> 00:42:56,406
All right.
625
00:42:56,448 --> 00:42:57,700
Okay.
626
00:42:57,825 --> 00:42:58,592
Here we go, here we go.
627
00:42:58,701 --> 00:42:59,409
You know what?
628
00:42:59,451 --> 00:43:00,618
Let me come around next. That side.
629
00:43:03,747 --> 00:43:04,790
All right.
630
00:43:05,082 --> 00:43:06,333
Okay, sweetie.
631
00:43:06,959 --> 00:43:07,834
All right.
632
00:43:07,876 --> 00:43:08,877
Here we go.
633
00:43:10,045 --> 00:43:10,645
Yeah.
634
00:43:12,381 --> 00:43:13,382
A little bit. - Let me get there.
635
00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:14,024
Okay, okay.
636
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:15,134
Just let me get there.
637
00:43:15,342 --> 00:43:15,968
All right.
638
00:43:16,051 --> 00:43:16,927
All right. Whoo.
639
00:43:17,344 --> 00:43:18,095
All right, baby.
640
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,179
You see it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
641
00:43:19,221 --> 00:43:20,280
Ah. Okay.
642
00:43:20,347 --> 00:43:21,432
Just let me check it out.
643
00:43:21,890 --> 00:43:23,058
Ah, ah!
644
00:43:23,517 --> 00:43:24,143
I am so sorry.
645
00:43:24,226 --> 00:43:25,436
Ah, ah! - Oh. Oh, my goodness.
646
00:43:25,644 --> 00:43:26,353
You see that?
647
00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:27,563
Okay, oh, oh, here we go.
648
00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:28,814
Ah, ah! - Here we go.
649
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:29,982
Ah, ah! - All right.
650
00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:30,732
Okay.
651
00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:31,441
Ooh.
652
00:43:31,483 --> 00:43:32,985
Woo. Um.
653
00:43:33,110 --> 00:43:35,487
The bullet didn't penetrate.
654
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:37,864
All right.
655
00:43:37,906 --> 00:43:38,782
I'm so sorry.
656
00:43:39,074 --> 00:43:40,575
I'm sorry.
657
00:43:40,617 --> 00:43:41,243
I'm so sorry.
658
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,412
Ooh, I know it's gonna burn.
659
00:43:43,662 --> 00:43:45,080
Ah, ah! - Oh, I'm sorry.
660
00:43:45,331 --> 00:43:46,498
Wooo. I ooh.
661
00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:47,666
I'm sorry.
662
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:48,834
Okay.
663
00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:51,503
Now, you're gonna need some
stitches, but I can't do that.
664
00:43:51,628 --> 00:43:52,379
You know what?
665
00:43:52,421 --> 00:43:54,172
Butterfly bandages will
work. But we'll get to that...
666
00:43:54,214 --> 00:43:55,924
Ooh! Ah.
667
00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:56,566
Okay...
668
00:43:56,759 --> 00:43:57,676
Yeah, just wrap it up. Just wrap it up.
669
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,635
Okay. Okay. Okay.
670
00:43:59,386 --> 00:44:01,263
Just wrap it up. Just wrap it up.
671
00:44:06,226 --> 00:44:07,353
Okay, let me.
672
00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:09,355
Okay, just hold it over
here a little bit, please.
673
00:44:09,563 --> 00:44:10,522
Ah. I'm I know, my.
674
00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:11,774
I know. I know. I know.
675
00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:14,026
There we go.
676
00:44:14,568 --> 00:44:15,361
Oh.
677
00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:16,987
Okay, how's that?
678
00:44:17,029 --> 00:44:17,988
Is that anything better?
679
00:44:18,405 --> 00:44:19,448
There we go.
680
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:21,241
Whoo.
681
00:44:21,450 --> 00:44:23,494
Oh, my goodness you know what? Um,
682
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:27,414
when my kids would get
hurt, I would be the calm one,
683
00:44:27,539 --> 00:44:30,709
you know, and my my husband,
Mark, he would be the one.
684
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:34,713
He would be so upset, and I I could
handle everything and here I am.
685
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,715
I can't even
686
00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:37,591
take care of you.
687
00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:38,633
You're bleeding. I'm
so sorry. I'm so sorry.
688
00:44:38,675 --> 00:44:39,635
I'm so sorry.
689
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:40,594
You know what?
690
00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:41,970
You're doing just fine.
691
00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:43,847
Well, you should hate me.
692
00:44:43,889 --> 00:44:45,807
Well, I don't.
693
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:47,517
Why not?
694
00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:50,897
I'm holding you hostage. - Here.
695
00:44:50,939 --> 00:44:53,232
Because I see a person in pain,
696
00:44:54,274 --> 00:44:57,695
not an enemy, just a wounded sheep.
697
00:44:58,612 --> 00:45:04,077
Okay.
698
00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:05,452
I wish I had some water.
699
00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:07,804
Okay...
700
00:45:08,163 --> 00:45:08,914
Deep breaths.
701
00:45:09,331 --> 00:45:09,957
You know.
702
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:13,794
You're good at this.
703
00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:15,337
Ah.
704
00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:16,880
Lily?
705
00:45:16,922 --> 00:45:18,382
Oh, that girl, she was wild.
706
00:45:18,424 --> 00:45:21,677
She was always falling
and climbing and jumping.
707
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,554
And, uh, I'd have to take care of her.
708
00:45:24,596 --> 00:45:27,724
One time, she tried
to do a cartwheel off of
709
00:45:27,766 --> 00:45:32,479
the the living room table and she
had the stitches all across her chin.
710
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,064
Sounds like a spirited kid.
711
00:45:34,773 --> 00:45:36,442
Oh, she was, she was.
712
00:45:36,733 --> 00:45:38,694
They all were.
713
00:45:39,486 --> 00:45:41,405
So...
714
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:43,281
You know what? That's what it was.
715
00:45:43,323 --> 00:45:45,701
That's why I couldn't leave that night.
716
00:45:45,993 --> 00:45:47,953
I knew it was something.
717
00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:51,248
When your parents got
there, the way they were.
718
00:45:51,373 --> 00:45:55,502
Caring for you while you were
in pain, and how nobody was
719
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:59,465
paying attention on what
happened to your family.
720
00:46:00,340 --> 00:46:03,719
So, I stayed in the chapel,
and I prayed for them.
721
00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:08,599
Lily, Jason, Emily, and Mark.
722
00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:12,686
I said their names over and over.
723
00:46:13,979 --> 00:46:18,942
I don't know why, but
it just felt necessary.
724
00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:25,449
Thank you for remembering them.
725
00:46:26,742 --> 00:46:31,205
For remembering them
as people and not victims.
726
00:46:31,538 --> 00:46:33,499
I appreciate that.
727
00:46:35,209 --> 00:46:37,169
Wait, hold up, Doc.
728
00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:40,255
Before you wrap that up, let me get
729
00:46:40,297 --> 00:46:42,466
one of them orange
suckers you got in there.
730
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,260
Oh! Ah.
731
00:46:46,094 --> 00:46:47,471
Oh.
732
00:46:48,722 --> 00:46:50,182
That's gonna make me feel better.
733
00:46:50,265 --> 00:46:51,565
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
734
00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:52,726
Thank you.
735
00:46:52,851 --> 00:46:53,451
You're welcome.
736
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,188
You are welcome.
737
00:46:56,813 --> 00:46:58,774
So.
738
00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:01,401
What do we do now?
739
00:47:01,443 --> 00:47:03,612
Um, I don't know.
740
00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:05,614
I guess go back to my office.
741
00:47:06,990 --> 00:47:10,202
Yeah, we can, but you know
I'm holding you hostage.
742
00:47:10,244 --> 00:47:12,204
I've got a gun.
743
00:47:13,247 --> 00:47:15,207
I'm starting to get cold.
744
00:47:16,166 --> 00:47:18,126
All right.
745
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,420
Well, you still.
746
00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:25,175
You still got a little bit of whiskey
left and that work as a sedative.
747
00:47:26,635 --> 00:47:28,595
Okay.
748
00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:32,474
Mmm.
749
00:47:33,308 --> 00:47:35,269
Ooh.
750
00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:36,186
Easy, easy, easy.
751
00:47:37,729 --> 00:47:38,981
All right.
752
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:41,858
All right.
753
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:46,822
Okay, go, whoa, whoa,
go, be careful, careful.
754
00:47:58,041 --> 00:48:00,002
Come on, I gotcha you...
755
00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:02,546
All right, I gotcha.
756
00:48:02,754 --> 00:48:04,673
Come on.
757
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:06,341
Ah!
758
00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:07,425
Oh.
759
00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:09,678
Breathe, breat, breat, breathe.
760
00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:13,932
Okay.
761
00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:16,226
Wait. wait. Okay.
762
00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:17,311
Okay.
763
00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:19,187
Come on, you can do it.
764
00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:21,189
You know what?
765
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:22,482
I have to take a break.
766
00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:23,233
Okay.
767
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:24,568
All right...
768
00:48:24,943 --> 00:48:26,320
Okay, take it easy.
769
00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:28,113
Oh.
770
00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:32,117
Come on
771
00:48:33,243 --> 00:48:35,203
Easy.
772
00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,332
Easy.
773
00:48:38,540 --> 00:48:41,335
Okay.
774
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,420
Ooh.
775
00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:45,630
Ooh, I got some'em.
776
00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:46,381
Ah.
777
00:48:46,423 --> 00:48:47,799
Got it, get it. Can you get it?
778
00:48:48,258 --> 00:48:50,218
Can you get that out of
my back pocket for me?
779
00:48:50,969 --> 00:48:51,803
Oh, yeah.
780
00:48:51,887 --> 00:48:52,929
Oh, yeah.
781
00:48:53,513 --> 00:48:55,474
Ah.
782
00:48:57,225 --> 00:48:59,186
Okay, okay.
783
00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:00,562
Okay.
784
00:49:03,231 --> 00:49:04,191
Ooh.
785
00:49:04,483 --> 00:49:05,884
Well, we didn't have to go to your office.
786
00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:09,613
You could have
just pull it out in there.
787
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:14,034
Ummm. Help me get that, help me with that.
788
00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:17,454
Oh, come on.
789
00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:18,872
Okay, there you go.
790
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:20,165
Yeah.
791
00:49:25,337 --> 00:49:27,631
Ah. - Whoo!
792
00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,424
If my congregation could see me now.
793
00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:32,135
Oh.
794
00:49:33,929 --> 00:49:37,140
Ah. You know, I am.
795
00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:43,981
Trying to decide whether I should
call the authorities for an ambulance.
796
00:49:45,732 --> 00:49:48,151
No, let's not worry about that just yet.
797
00:49:48,735 --> 00:49:53,115
But you need to see a
professional for that arm.
798
00:49:57,828 --> 00:49:59,788
I have a question for you.
799
00:50:00,497 --> 00:50:02,457
Okay.
800
00:50:03,208 --> 00:50:06,545
Why were you so afraid of dying
when you had a panic attack?
801
00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:13,552
Okay, but, um, first, I want you to tell me
802
00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,805
why you're so mad at God.
803
00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:23,937
My mother.
804
00:50:25,772 --> 00:50:29,693
We had a bond unlike
anyone else I've ever known.
805
00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:39,661
She was the one who taught me
how to pray, how to read the Bible.
806
00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:43,373
How to see God in everything.
807
00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:48,420
She was the first one in church.
808
00:50:49,713 --> 00:50:51,673
She was the last one to leave.
809
00:50:52,716 --> 00:50:54,676
Always volunteering.
810
00:50:57,971 --> 00:50:59,931
Always.
811
00:51:00,223 --> 00:51:03,435
She supported me in every way.
812
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:08,440
Even when I decided
813
00:51:08,523 --> 00:51:11,443
to go to the ministry
without my father's wishes.
814
00:51:15,989 --> 00:51:18,200
I know this may sound ridiculous, but.
815
00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:22,704
I thought my mother was the
closest thing to the Virgin Mary.
816
00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:24,998
Oh. Wow.
817
00:51:25,999 --> 00:51:30,712
Loving. selfless, so caring.
818
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:33,006
Mm.
819
00:51:33,965 --> 00:51:35,926
But when she got cancer.
820
00:51:38,470 --> 00:51:41,181
When the the pain became so unbearable,
821
00:51:46,061 --> 00:51:48,021
She blamed God.
822
00:51:49,731 --> 00:51:53,902
She even blamed me for
having her have faith in HIM.
823
00:51:56,988 --> 00:52:00,951
She began to curse, swear.
824
00:52:05,997 --> 00:52:09,375
My mother just screaming to God.
825
00:52:09,417 --> 00:52:14,464
Screaming out that screaming
out that God had abandoned her.
826
00:52:14,965 --> 00:52:17,384
During COVID, I had done what felt like
827
00:52:17,968 --> 00:52:19,928
100 funerals.
828
00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:23,682
And I witnessed miracles.
829
00:52:26,226 --> 00:52:29,688
The lame walk, the sick healed.
830
00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:33,942
I've witnessed prayers
831
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,946
that defied explanation.
832
00:52:38,738 --> 00:52:40,699
So I started a prayer team.
833
00:52:40,782 --> 00:52:42,700
Intercessors.
834
00:52:42,742 --> 00:52:45,203
I mean, we prayed day and night.
835
00:52:47,455 --> 00:52:50,208
I was certain.
836
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,713
Absolutely certain God would heal her.
837
00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:01,887
But the pain became so
increasingly unbearable,
838
00:53:01,970 --> 00:53:05,223
that she begged me to take her life.
839
00:53:06,224 --> 00:53:09,352
My mother, the woman who
840
00:53:09,394 --> 00:53:11,646
taught me to have faith was begging
841
00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:15,859
her pastor son to help her die.
842
00:53:24,993 --> 00:53:28,079
I couldn't understand
how God could allow her...
843
00:53:28,121 --> 00:53:31,333
to lose her faith, her dignity.
844
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:37,297
And we were all praying so hard.
845
00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:47,432
The last coherent things
she said to me was,
846
00:53:50,226 --> 00:53:52,187
Where is your God?
847
00:53:54,231 --> 00:53:56,191
Where is your God now, David?
848
00:54:01,488 --> 00:54:04,699
After that, standing in
that pulpit felt like theater.
849
00:54:05,992 --> 00:54:08,453
Hollow words, empty promises.
850
00:54:12,248 --> 00:54:18,213
How could I tell someone
grieving to believe in God?
851
00:54:20,715 --> 00:54:22,676
When I no longer believe in myself?
852
00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:25,178
You know.
853
00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:29,683
My mother in law said
something similar to me.
854
00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:33,603
She said that, God is good.
855
00:54:35,730 --> 00:54:37,691
He has a plan.
856
00:54:39,025 --> 00:54:43,238
I wanted to scream...
857
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:47,450
I wanted to scream and
never stop-stop screaming.
858
00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:51,913
I understand that feeling.
859
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,665
Now it's your turn.
860
00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:55,917
Tell me.
861
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:59,421
Why were you so afraid to
die during your panic attack?
862
00:55:01,214 --> 00:55:03,841
I think we should go and
check those water pots.
863
00:55:03,883 --> 00:55:05,302
Come on.
864
00:55:05,427 --> 00:55:06,928
You think you can do it?
865
00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:08,263
Come on.
866
00:55:08,388 --> 00:55:09,389
I'm gonna need some help.
867
00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:10,807
All right.
868
00:55:11,599 --> 00:55:14,185
Come on. Just lean on me.
869
00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,479
Come on. Up. Up. Up.
870
00:55:16,521 --> 00:55:17,230
Okay.
871
00:55:17,272 --> 00:55:18,106
Okay, okay, okay.
872
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:19,023
All right, here we go.
873
00:55:19,065 --> 00:55:20,024
Come on, gotcha, gotcha.
874
00:55:20,066 --> 00:55:21,109
All right, take it easy.
875
00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:23,111
Let a breath out. Take a deep breath.
876
00:55:23,236 --> 00:55:24,779
You ready?
877
00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:26,614
All right, come on, come on.
878
00:55:26,906 --> 00:55:28,324
Okay.
879
00:55:28,366 --> 00:55:29,701
All right.
880
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:30,452
Come on.
881
00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:35,456
Here we go.
882
00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:37,417
You just sit right.
883
00:55:37,459 --> 00:55:39,419
Make yourself comfortable.
884
00:55:41,963 --> 00:55:43,881
All right, you good?
885
00:55:43,923 --> 00:55:45,550
You good right there?
886
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:46,426
Yeah.
887
00:55:46,509 --> 00:55:47,177
All right.
888
00:55:50,472 --> 00:55:52,432
You know, I thought that.
889
00:55:55,477 --> 00:55:57,437
This was gonna be different.
890
00:56:00,273 --> 00:56:02,442
That I would be in control.
891
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,454
But.
892
00:56:15,288 --> 00:56:18,958
Thinking I would be ready,
but when I could not breathe,
893
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:22,629
when I thought that I was dying, I
894
00:56:24,089 --> 00:56:26,049
I was terrified.
895
00:56:33,973 --> 00:56:36,935
Do you know why I came
here tonight specifically?
896
00:56:37,727 --> 00:56:39,020
No.
897
00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:40,438
It's our anniversary.
898
00:56:43,233 --> 00:56:48,613
Mark and I would have been
married for 35 years today.
899
00:56:53,993 --> 00:56:59,207
And it's also the
anniversary of the argument.
900
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:02,627
What argument?
901
00:57:02,669 --> 00:57:07,674
We were running late for
church, and I was furious.
902
00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:14,180
And I was yelling at Mark
about driving faster, drive faster.
903
00:57:14,973 --> 00:57:18,685
Shouting at Emily about staying
out late, not wanting to go to church.
904
00:57:19,227 --> 00:57:23,189
And I was mad at Jason about
reading that dinosaur book.
905
00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:28,027
And Lily had spilt
906
00:57:28,069 --> 00:57:30,238
juice down the front of her dress.
907
00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:35,034
And I was. I was just beside myself
908
00:57:36,244 --> 00:57:41,249
My last words to my family.
909
00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:44,169
They were angry words.
910
00:57:46,212 --> 00:57:49,549
And it was all about being late
911
00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:53,219
for church, all about appearances.
912
00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:57,140
What would everybody think if...
913
00:57:57,182 --> 00:58:00,518
the Sunday school
teacher's family came in late.
914
00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:09,194
We were arguing when that truck hit us.
915
00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:17,452
If. If we would not have
gone to church that Sunday,
916
00:58:18,077 --> 00:58:23,416
If I wasn't so concerned about
being on time, if we would have just,
917
00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:26,252
If.
918
00:58:26,711 --> 00:58:30,006
If we would have just stayed home...
919
00:58:30,381 --> 00:58:31,048
Sarah...
920
00:58:31,090 --> 00:58:32,342
No, no, no, no.
921
00:58:33,218 --> 00:58:35,178
You asked why I was afraid.
922
00:58:36,387 --> 00:58:39,641
I'm terrified that God...
923
00:58:39,807 --> 00:58:43,394
is punishing me, that my family is,
924
00:58:43,436 --> 00:58:46,606
up in heaven, and and I won't be able to,
925
00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:49,984
join them because their death is on,
926
00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:52,946
my hands, and that is
why God didn't take me to.
927
00:58:56,241 --> 00:58:58,201
That's not how it works.
928
00:59:00,286 --> 00:59:02,247
How do you know?
929
00:59:04,249 --> 00:59:06,542
That accident wasn't a punishment.
930
00:59:06,584 --> 00:59:08,962
It was just... an accident.
931
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:16,177
How can you be so sure?
932
00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:19,681
Because if God punished people
like that, none of us would survive.
933
00:59:21,266 --> 00:59:23,226
Then why?
934
00:59:24,227 --> 00:59:25,561
Why them?
935
00:59:25,603 --> 00:59:26,854
Why not me, too?
936
00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:30,191
I don't know.
937
00:59:30,775 --> 00:59:32,735
And I want won't pretend
to have the answer.
938
00:59:34,737 --> 00:59:37,991
But it wasn't because
you argued that morning.
939
00:59:45,498 --> 00:59:47,458
I've got to check on something.
940
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:50,670
Sarah.
941
01:00:37,967 --> 01:00:39,927
Pastor!
942
01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:41,846
Sarah, don't...
943
01:00:41,888 --> 01:00:43,639
No, no, no, I'm not gonna shoot you.
944
01:00:52,732 --> 01:00:55,985
But I am gonna do what I came here to do.
945
01:00:56,027 --> 01:00:57,194
No, Sarah.
946
01:00:57,236 --> 01:00:58,613
Look, Sarah, don't do this.
947
01:00:58,655 --> 01:00:59,697
Why not?
948
01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:01,532
Look Give me some reason that is not
949
01:01:01,574 --> 01:01:05,953
some platitude, some reason
that is not from some sermon.
950
01:01:06,996 --> 01:01:08,914
Because I need you.
951
01:01:08,956 --> 01:01:10,458
What?
952
01:01:11,209 --> 01:01:13,169
You coming in here tonight.
953
01:01:14,212 --> 01:01:15,296
Must have been God.
954
01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:16,438
Couldn't have been a coincidence.
955
01:01:17,256 --> 01:01:20,176
Oh, so God, so, now
you believe in God, again.
956
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:25,556
I don't know what I believe anymore,
but I know I don't want you to die.
957
01:01:25,723 --> 01:01:28,684
You coming here tonight of all nights,
958
01:01:29,977 --> 01:01:32,438
you remind me so much of my mother.
959
01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,274
I'm nothing like your mother.
960
01:01:35,316 --> 01:01:39,737
Look, the care you took... even when...
961
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:42,990
you were in pain, you
still cared for my arm.
962
01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,536
And that's who you are, Sarah.
963
01:01:46,994 --> 01:01:51,374
Even when you're falling
apart, you still care.
964
01:01:51,416 --> 01:01:52,875
You love.
965
01:01:52,917 --> 01:01:57,130
Then if what you're saying is
true, and God sent me to you,
966
01:01:59,465 --> 01:02:01,426
then either...
967
01:02:02,468 --> 01:02:05,221
God is in it, or it's just some, some,
968
01:02:05,263 --> 01:02:10,351
chaotic, some chaotic coincident.
969
01:02:11,728 --> 01:02:13,688
Maybe that's it.
970
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:16,691
That we're both looking for
certainty where there isn't any.
971
01:02:17,483 --> 01:02:20,445
Maybe faith isn't about
having all the answers.
972
01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:23,448
Maybe it's about continuing when we don't.
973
01:02:24,740 --> 01:02:28,327
That is not good enough.
974
01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:30,413
Look, that's all I have.
975
01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,415
What if we're both wrong?
976
01:02:32,748 --> 01:02:35,710
What if God isn't punishment or reward?
977
01:02:36,210 --> 01:02:38,129
Maybe he's just,
978
01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:39,922
present.
979
01:02:41,966 --> 01:02:46,679
Well, if God is present, then
why does it hurt so much?
980
01:02:49,098 --> 01:02:51,058
Look, I don't know.
981
01:02:52,477 --> 01:02:54,437
But I know I don't want you to die.
982
01:02:56,981 --> 01:02:58,899
And your family wouldn't want this either.
983
01:02:58,941 --> 01:03:02,195
You don't know what my family would want.
984
01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:07,200
I know they loved you, and I
know they loved you very much.
985
01:03:07,950 --> 01:03:10,077
And love doesn't want destruction,
986
01:03:11,245 --> 01:03:13,206
love wants life.
987
01:03:14,999 --> 01:03:17,460
I don't know how to live without them.
988
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:21,172
Neither do I. Without my mother,
989
01:03:21,214 --> 01:03:23,424
without my my faith as it was.
990
01:03:26,677 --> 01:03:28,721
Maybe we weren't meant
to go through this alone.
991
01:03:29,222 --> 01:03:31,182
Maybe we were meant to
go through this together.
992
01:03:32,475 --> 01:03:33,684
What are you saying?
993
01:03:33,726 --> 01:03:34,977
We can do this.
994
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,440
Us.
995
01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:44,904
My grandmother, a wise
woman, as I'm realizing
996
01:03:44,946 --> 01:03:49,367
at this moment, she hasn't spoken in years.
997
01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:54,205
But she speaks through these cards.
998
01:03:57,458 --> 01:04:00,670
Until now, I didn't know why.
999
01:04:07,468 --> 01:04:10,429
God, grant me the serenity
1000
01:04:10,471 --> 01:04:14,225
to accept the things that I cannot change,
1001
01:04:14,267 --> 01:04:16,352
and the courage to
change the things that I can,
1002
01:04:17,728 --> 01:04:21,858
and the wisdom, the wisdom
to know the difference.
1003
01:04:28,239 --> 01:04:30,199
We're gonna make it through this.
1004
01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:32,702
Okay?
1005
01:04:33,327 --> 01:04:35,121
We're gonna make it.
1006
01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:02,732
I hope that you're not considering suicide.
1007
01:05:03,482 --> 01:05:05,443
No.
1008
01:05:09,572 --> 01:05:11,490
Just contemplating the night.
1009
01:05:11,532 --> 01:05:13,618
Oh. Woo!
1010
01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:19,206
These pews are not designed for sleeping.
1011
01:05:19,665 --> 01:05:23,460
Tell that to my
congregation during Sunday sermons.
1012
01:05:23,502 --> 01:05:25,463
Mmm.
1013
01:05:29,717 --> 01:05:34,680
Can you ever forgive me for holding
you hostage and for shooting you?
1014
01:05:36,349 --> 01:05:38,267
Of course I forgive you.
1015
01:05:38,309 --> 01:05:40,227
Oh, thank you.
1016
01:05:41,228 --> 01:05:43,189
Thank you.
1017
01:05:43,981 --> 01:05:48,945
Now, I want to talk to you about something
that you told me about your mother.
1018
01:05:50,738 --> 01:05:55,201
You said that she cursed at
the end, that she questioned God.
1019
01:05:56,494 --> 01:05:58,412
Yes.
1020
01:05:58,454 --> 01:06:02,375
And that that is one of the reasons
you lost your faith, because if she...
1021
01:06:04,001 --> 01:06:05,919
could lose her faith...
1022
01:06:05,961 --> 01:06:07,963
She was the most devout
woman I've ever known.
1023
01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:12,551
I don't believe that God,
1024
01:06:13,969 --> 01:06:15,888
forsook her.
1025
01:06:15,930 --> 01:06:17,139
Jesus didn't forsake her.
1026
01:06:17,181 --> 01:06:21,435
I worked in hospice care.
1027
01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:28,150
While I was in nursing,
training, and I saw a lot of people,
1028
01:06:28,734 --> 01:06:30,653
at the end.
1029
01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:32,238
And pain.
1030
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,451
Whew. Pain changes people.
1031
01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:41,455
Medication.
1032
01:06:42,748 --> 01:06:47,211
It changes people and dying.
1033
01:06:48,212 --> 01:06:50,172
It changes people.
1034
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:52,925
David.
1035
01:06:53,718 --> 01:06:57,179
In the natural world,
1036
01:06:57,221 --> 01:07:00,224
the human heart only
weighs about 10 ounces.
1037
01:07:00,975 --> 01:07:02,643
I don't understand.
1038
01:07:02,768 --> 01:07:04,687
But in the spiritual world,
1039
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:10,443
it is the heart that protects the soul.
1040
01:07:11,235 --> 01:07:14,905
It is the guardian of who we truly are.
1041
01:07:16,991 --> 01:07:21,454
Now... your mother.
1042
01:07:24,707 --> 01:07:28,001
That 10-ounce muscle...
1043
01:07:28,043 --> 01:07:32,673
that beat inside of her for 70 years,
1044
01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:36,010
it carried. It carried love.
1045
01:07:37,470 --> 01:07:40,931
It carried faith, it carried devotion.
1046
01:07:42,975 --> 01:07:46,186
And the pain of a mind,
1047
01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:51,192
and all of the suffering, the
uttering from the suffering.
1048
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:53,444
God weighs,
1049
01:07:54,737 --> 01:07:59,450
not the words that we speak
when we're in agony, but the heart.
1050
01:08:00,993 --> 01:08:02,161
Her heart.
1051
01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:03,704
Oh!
1052
01:08:03,746 --> 01:08:05,706
It was pure.
1053
01:08:06,332 --> 01:08:12,004
Her heart was pure love,
and it carried her safely home.
1054
01:08:12,963 --> 01:08:14,924
Now,
1055
01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:19,220
you remember the story about Jesus
1056
01:08:20,012 --> 01:08:22,681
and the thief on the cross next to him?
1057
01:08:23,224 --> 01:08:27,144
Jesus didn't save him because he was
1058
01:08:27,770 --> 01:08:30,231
ah, ah, ah, devout.
1059
01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:33,317
No.
1060
01:08:33,442 --> 01:08:36,236
He didn't save him because he, he...
1061
01:08:36,278 --> 01:08:41,534
was a tither or because he
took care of animals and people,
1062
01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:47,456
because he fed the
hungry, clothed the naked.
1063
01:08:48,999 --> 01:08:51,961
No, Jesus saved him.
1064
01:08:53,712 --> 01:08:56,757
Because at that moment,
1065
01:08:56,799 --> 01:09:00,761
at that moment, faith,
when he said, "Master, when
1066
01:09:00,803 --> 01:09:04,181
you go home to heaven,
I want to go with you."
1067
01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:06,225
That was all Jesus needed to hear.
1068
01:09:06,267 --> 01:09:09,395
That act of faith at that moment
1069
01:09:11,730 --> 01:09:17,194
after a lifetime of sin and selfishness,
1070
01:09:19,488 --> 01:09:25,286
those words, that faith at that time.
1071
01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:29,206
He went with Jesus.
1072
01:09:33,460 --> 01:09:36,547
So, ah, you know,
1073
01:09:36,589 --> 01:09:40,592
what that band ooh, that bandage,
we're gonna need to change bandage.
1074
01:09:40,634 --> 01:09:41,969
Come on, come on, come on.
1075
01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:43,095
Follow me to the kitchen. - All right.
1076
01:09:43,137 --> 01:09:44,346
Come on, come on. Up. Up.
1077
01:09:44,638 --> 01:09:45,973
Come on. Baby
1078
01:09:53,230 --> 01:09:54,773
TruVine, I need a
little help in here today.
1079
01:09:54,815 --> 01:09:58,694
Now, where is your faith?
1080
01:09:59,987 --> 01:10:02,239
See, see, see, now, now.
1081
01:10:02,406 --> 01:10:08,203
Faith, just... just isn't believing
that everything is going all right.
1082
01:10:08,746 --> 01:10:11,957
You, you see, true
faith is trusting in God.
1083
01:10:12,416 --> 01:10:16,754
Now, now, now, I don't know about
y'all today, but I came here to praise God.
1084
01:10:17,713 --> 01:10:21,008
Did you come here to praise God with me?
1085
01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:23,636
Amen, amen!
1086
01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:25,512
TrueVine, repeat after me.
1087
01:10:25,554 --> 01:10:26,805
Where is your faith?!
1088
01:10:27,014 --> 01:10:28,515
Where is your faith?!
1089
01:10:28,557 --> 01:10:29,600
Glory be to God.
1090
01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:31,310
Amen, amen.
1091
01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,562
Now, I just want to leave
y'all with a little something.
1092
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:36,815
You know, this song, my mother,
she loved this song, and I'm
1093
01:10:36,857 --> 01:10:40,193
sure we all have sang
this song so many times.
1094
01:10:40,235 --> 01:10:44,198
So just sing along with me, and
we're gonna praise God together.
1095
01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,700
Amen.
1096
01:10:47,493 --> 01:10:48,869
Ah.
1097
01:10:48,911 --> 01:10:56,252
♪ Amazing grace, ♪
1098
01:10:58,045 --> 01:11:04,343
♪ how sweet the sound, ♪
1099
01:11:05,803 --> 01:11:12,434
♪ that saved ♪
1100
01:11:12,726 --> 01:11:17,898
♪ a wretch, ♪
1101
01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:22,987
♪ like me, ♪
1102
01:11:23,737 --> 01:11:29,535
♪ I once was lost, ♪
1103
01:11:30,744 --> 01:11:36,625
♪ but now I'm found, ♪
1104
01:11:36,792 --> 01:11:41,005
♪ was blind but now, ♪
1105
01:11:42,214 --> 01:11:42,814
♪ I see, ♪
1106
01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:54,476
♪ ah amazing grace! ♪
1107
01:11:55,936 --> 01:12:02,901
♪ How sweet the sound... ♪
1108
01:12:02,943 --> 01:12:05,904
♪ that saved a wretch. ♪
1109
01:12:08,449 --> 01:12:12,494
♪ Like me! ♪
1110
01:12:12,828 --> 01:12:19,418
♪ I once was lost. ♪
1111
01:12:19,918 --> 01:12:22,588
♪ But now I'm found, ♪
1112
01:12:23,380 --> 01:12:24,260
♪ was blind. ♪
1113
01:12:35,976 --> 01:12:43,976
♪ But now I see! ♪
1114
01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:00,959
Remember this?
1115
01:13:01,335 --> 01:13:03,295
Ooh, you was hot when you gave me this one.
1116
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:05,172
Calm down.
1117
01:13:05,214 --> 01:13:07,215
You wasn't having it that day.
1118
01:13:07,257 --> 01:13:08,717
Your head was rolling.
1119
01:13:09,218 --> 01:13:12,221
All in my business.
1120
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,681
I was, I was Grandma
Ruth, I found it again.
1121
01:13:14,723 --> 01:13:16,391
Well, I will.
1122
01:13:17,684 --> 01:13:18,518
Well, I will leave you two to it.
1123
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:20,437
All right.
1124
01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:26,443
Thank you.
1125
01:13:30,989 --> 01:13:34,034
I found my faith in the most unexpected
place with the most unexpected person.
1126
01:13:34,076 --> 01:13:36,036
This card saved my life.
1127
01:13:38,497 --> 01:13:40,457
Helped save someone else's life, too.
1128
01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:44,670
And I'm not resigning from the church.
1129
01:13:46,213 --> 01:13:48,131
I am staying.
1130
01:13:48,173 --> 01:13:50,008
You know, I met a woman that night.
1131
01:13:50,050 --> 01:13:51,843
Sarah.
1132
01:13:51,885 --> 01:13:53,804
She was in as much pain as I was.
1133
01:13:53,846 --> 01:13:56,181
Maybe more.
1134
01:13:56,974 --> 01:14:00,894
But we help each other find our way back.
1135
01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:05,149
Now, not to certainty, but to hope
1136
01:14:06,483 --> 01:14:09,528
the willingness to keep on going.
1137
01:14:09,570 --> 01:14:13,407
Now, I know you can't
speak, Mama Ruth, but I
1138
01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:16,275
just wanted you to know that it
was your wisdom and your love
1139
01:14:18,495 --> 01:14:21,457
to help us get right back on track.
1140
01:14:26,753 --> 01:14:29,173
Um, Grandma Ruth, where are your cards?
1141
01:14:30,215 --> 01:14:32,176
I put them away.
1142
01:14:34,219 --> 01:14:37,181
Grandma Ruth, you're speaking.
1143
01:14:39,683 --> 01:14:47,191
When you came here yesterday.
1144
01:14:48,275 --> 01:14:50,235
So much, anger, and hurt, I saw myself,
1145
01:14:53,238 --> 01:14:57,701
in your eyes.
1146
01:14:58,994 --> 01:15:02,915
I've been pretending for years, David.
1147
01:15:03,999 --> 01:15:05,959
Had the answer.
1148
01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:10,422
What do you mean?
1149
01:15:10,964 --> 01:15:16,094
When your mother got sick, when she passed,
1150
01:15:18,222 --> 01:15:20,724
I was furious with God.
1151
01:15:22,476 --> 01:15:26,480
God isn't supposed to take
your children before you.
1152
01:15:28,982 --> 01:15:36,573
Especially one. So pure and God-fearing.
1153
01:15:37,991 --> 01:15:41,453
Oh, I became so angry.
1154
01:15:44,248 --> 01:15:47,209
But everyone expected me,
1155
01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:51,213
to be the strong one, the faithful one.
1156
01:15:52,339 --> 01:15:57,594
Huh. So I stopped talking, not,
1157
01:15:57,636 --> 01:16:00,973
just the people, but especially God.
1158
01:16:01,098 --> 01:16:03,392
I did know you felt that way.
1159
01:16:03,475 --> 01:16:05,435
I know, baby.
1160
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:14,236
But I didn't want your faith
to be shaken by my lack of it.
1161
01:16:15,487 --> 01:16:20,200
So, those cards became my hiding place.
1162
01:16:21,743 --> 01:16:29,743
Oh, I could give wisdom
without facing my own doubt.
1163
01:16:33,588 --> 01:16:39,845
Without admitting, I was
just as lost as everyone else.
1164
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:42,556
Ooh.
1165
01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:46,810
But when you, when you came.
1166
01:16:50,981 --> 01:16:54,568
With all your pain, I... I realized,
1167
01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:59,448
I could not go on living a lie.
1168
01:17:00,490 --> 01:17:02,450
Mm.
1169
01:17:02,492 --> 01:17:04,453
Mm-hmm.
1170
01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:08,290
So...
1171
01:17:08,999 --> 01:17:10,959
I started praying again.
1172
01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:14,087
Really praying.
1173
01:17:15,213 --> 01:17:20,093
Not just reciting pretty
words, but wrestling.
1174
01:17:20,969 --> 01:17:23,930
Wrestling with God,
like Jacob at the river...
1175
01:17:26,975 --> 01:17:29,436
And he answered, "Yes."
1176
01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:35,525
But not until I ask him for forgiveness.
1177
01:17:35,984 --> 01:17:37,944
And mean it.
1178
01:17:41,114 --> 01:17:44,201
I prayed for you all night, David.
1179
01:17:45,744 --> 01:17:50,123
I asked God to take
away your anger, your hurt,
1180
01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:56,922
your pain, and help you get back to him.
1181
01:17:59,925 --> 01:18:00,525
Hmm.
1182
01:18:01,968 --> 01:18:08,141
Sometimes, God uses our
brokenness to help others.
1183
01:18:09,184 --> 01:18:10,352
Mm-hmm.
1184
01:18:10,727 --> 01:18:13,855
And I prayed that that night so, so,
1185
01:18:13,897 --> 01:18:16,441
hard, I felt like Jesus in the garden.
1186
01:18:19,736 --> 01:18:24,157
Your honesty.
1187
01:18:24,199 --> 01:18:26,451
Your honesty that morning.
1188
01:18:28,245 --> 01:18:32,833
Helped me to find my voice again.
1189
01:18:34,710 --> 01:18:39,381
And my prayers, [laughter] help you.
1190
01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:41,716
They help bring you back home.
1191
01:18:43,218 --> 01:18:45,429
And we both found our faith again.
1192
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:47,639
Hmm.
1193
01:18:47,681 --> 01:18:49,433
That's how God works, baby.
1194
01:18:50,976 --> 01:18:56,189
He uses broken people to
help other broken people.
1195
01:18:57,232 --> 01:19:00,986
Now that's the real miracle!
1196
01:19:03,238 --> 01:19:04,781
That's it.
1197
01:19:04,823 --> 01:19:06,408
I love you, Grandma Ruth.
1198
01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:08,452
I love you, too, baby.
1199
01:19:09,494 --> 01:19:14,207
More than words, more
than you'll ever know.
1200
01:19:16,376 --> 01:19:18,795
singer vocalizing]
1201
01:19:19,337 --> 01:19:20,797
Thank you, Lord.
1202
01:19:22,215 --> 01:19:24,008
Yes, Lord. Thank you, Lord.
1203
01:19:24,050 --> 01:19:27,053
Yes, Lord. Amen.
75747
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