Original subtitles

Hi! Good morning!

- Do you want to take a bite out of me? - Nah.

Nah? Then I'll have to take a bite.

I'll take the bites.

Mmm... strawberry jam!

- Nah. - Nah, that one?

Yes! Oh, I see, nah, yes, nah, yes.

- Nah. - Now I'm gonna grab another one.

That one?

Barbara, will you pick up the kids from preschool later?

- I'm on duty until two. - Oh, okay.

- Too bad! - Then I'll do it.

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye.

Ciao.

See you later!

Mom's pancakes taste better than yours.

Thanks. Then it's dry bread for breakfast tomorrow.

- Bye! - Ciao, bye!

Psst, watch out. Look!

Ah, yikes!

Hello!

Hello!

- Hello! - Hi there.

Yes, that's really sweet! Thank you so much!

I actually have a cold, you know?

Whoops, bless you.

Now I've got this...

Look there!

You can juggle a cold!

There's a little blue ball.

Can I take a look? What does he have there?

Chico, you have to look first, then go.

- Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! - I've told you that so many times!

- Hello! - Excuse me.

He's always a little... You can't just go after every woman.

- Hi, Heidi. - Oh! Hi!

Definitely not!

Not so loud. Shh, shh.

Now let's focus.

So, we have an important visitor here right now.

So...

Jona, two years old. Heart defect.

Then let's take it really easy. And stay relaxed.

- Exactly. Maybe a little song. - Ah, wonderful.

Hello! Hello!

Who's there?

Na na na na na na.

Where?

Wow!

Look how cute. Yes!

- Thanks, thanks. - Thanks, thanks.

Hi, Edith. What has Thimo been up to?

Hi, Barbara.

You... Uh... Tell me, where are you right now?

I'm driving home from Graz. Why?

Hey, Karin,

she just drove past the railroad crossing in Takern.

She said there was an accident there involving a clown bus.

What? What do you mean, an accident?

What happened?

She just said there was an accident.

And there's a yellow clown bus at the railroad crossing. That's all I know.

Okay. But the bus is there?

I don't know.

I think so.

Okay, um...

All right. Hey, thanks, Edith, for letting me know.

Yeah, sure.

Okay, all right, ciao.

- Ciao. - Ciao.

Now it's time for our health tips...

Heli's voicemail, messages after the toot.

Hi, Heli, can you please call me back?

I just want to know if everything's okay.

But I mean, your cell phone's on, so I'm sure everything's fine.

Just call me back, okay?

The important thing is,

to soothe your bronchial tubes and loosen the mucus.

That's usually quite simple.

What are some tried-and-true home remedies?

Ribwort plantain is very good. We also call it "cough herb"...

It's there, it's there, it's there, it's there.

It's there...

- Hey, Babsi. - Hi, Sabine. You...

um... Are you home? - Yeah.

Can you do me a huge favor?

Apparently there was an accident

at the railroad crossing in Takern involving a clown bus.

What?

Can you go take a quick look and just see if everything...

if everyone's okay?

- I'll go check right away. - I'll need a little more time.

No problem, I'll be in touch. Thanks!

- Kisses. - Okay, okay, ciao.

Yeah?

- Sabine, hello? - Where are you?

I'll be at the railroad crossing in Takern in about ten minutes.

No, no. Come over to our place. We'll meet there. Okay?

Why?

Were you at the railroad crossing? Come over to our place.

Babsi, please, you have to trust me right now.

Okay. Yeah, okay.

Drive carefully.

Yeah. Yeah, I will.

Okay, okay, okay...

Heli, Heli...

Did someone die?

Yeah.

Heli.

Mhm.

Mhm.

And the kids?

They're alive.

Mhm.

They flew them to the hospital.

Here, one more.

See, Fini likes it, too.

- Want another pea? - Yes.

Watch out, Thimo, soon Fini will have eaten all the peas.

I don't care.

"I don't care." - No.

- Yes. - Look what I've got.

Oh! A pea salad.

Oh, right, nah, it's a circus tent. Sorry.

Nah, it's really nice. And who's that on the unicycle there?

- You! - That's me?

With the funny hat.

Oh yeah, that really is a funny hat.

- Should we take that with us? - Yeah.

Yeah?

- Yeah. Let's take that with us, right? - Yeah.

I come up from the audience onto the stage and try

to catch the balloon.

But the balloon keeps bouncing away.

The whole time. And eventually I catch the balloon

and then I grab it and want to keep it with me.

And then I could imagine there's an armchair

and I want to sit down with the balloon,

because I finally have the balloon

that I've been longing for my whole life.

Then I try to bring it over to the armchair,

and somehow manage to sit down.

And do you know what happens then? - Nah.

Wishes, when unfulfilled,

can keep getting bigger and bigger.

And maybe my wish balloon will get bigger and bigger.

And heavier and heavier.

And the thing I've wished for my whole life

almost crushes me.

- What do you think? - Yeah!

And then I'm lying under the balloon

but then I manage to crawl up onto the balloon,

it's a huge, huge wish balloon...

and then I try to hug it and then...

Pfffrrrt.

...the air escapes. - Yes.

And then my wish and my balloon

carry me across the entire stage.

And in the end, my wish is tiny again.

But it's mine. - Yes!

Emergency responders were on the scene within minutes.

However, they could only recover your husband's body.

And the children?

The emergency doctor initially diagnosed

cardiac arrest in your son Thimo,

but was able to resuscitate him right at the scene of the accident.

Thimo's heart is beating again.

However, the cardiac arrest resulted in

Thimo sustaining severe brain damage.

Mhm.

What...

What does that mean?

Thimo's heart is beating again,

but his circulatory system requires massive external support.

Thimo won't wake up again.

But I can assure you that Thimo is free of pain.

And Fini?

Valentina's cardiovascular systems

were still functioning very well when the doctors arrived.

Externally, she had hardly any injuries.

However, she has suffered a severe traumatic brain injury.

That's why we've put her into an induced coma

and connected her to machines similar to the ones your son is on.

The only difference is

that her body is able to perform these functions on its own.

That's good news, for now. - Mhm.

So that means she'll...

She'll make it?

We can hope so, yes.

Good.

Um...

Can I see them—the kids?

Fini.

My sweetheart.

I'm here.

Mommy's here now.

I'll take care of you.

Hi, Thimo.

My little pirate.

I'm here now.

Please guide us now and in the hour of our death, Amen...

Sweetheart.

Barbara.

Barbara?

We have to have the kids baptized now.

What?

You have to have the kids baptized before...

Roswitha, I think...

Thimo's life support is being turned off.

- That's not important now. - If he isn't baptized,

he can't follow his father into heaven. Do you understand?

What do you mean?

Do you want Thimo to stay somewhere other than where his dad is?

Is that what you want?

Should we go somewhere where you can get a little peace and quiet?

I'll ask the hospital to send a priest.

He can go ahead and administer the Anointing of the Sick.

I think Barbara...

Babsi!

Oh, right. Pirates need really dirty teeth, don't they?

Yeah, a toothbrush and a new outfit,

because they're almost always at sea.

That's right, and when they're in port,

they buy themselves a new outfit. Good idea.

When are the first ones coming?

Yeah, eventually.

I mean, for the viewing, Heli, the first people.

Yeah, yeah.

What...?

What do you mean, "yeah, yeah"?

Relax, Pachlovich.

Hey, Dad, what people?

I took the ad offline.

Why?

Heli, please tell me this is a joke.

Nah, this is perfect!

We need more space, and there's plenty there.

We don't need a new apartment. We're moving in there.

Heli, that's a dump! - Yeah!

And we'll renovate it. I'll renovate it.

What on earth do you plan to renovate there, Heli?

The pipes are leaking... The roof... Here...

You're going to have to replace all of that!

You may have done a lot already,

but you didn't do a trade apprenticeship. - I did.

Heli...

Young lady, may I invite you

to take a tour of this estate?

In the courtyard, you could have a swimming pool installed,

or even a small forest.

But please follow me inside

to the heart of this sophisticated estate.

These antique tiles from the turn of the last century

can be torn out and replaced with...

What would you like? Herringbone oak parquet

or a deep-pile carpet, or would you prefer concrete?

But now let's move on to the heart of every estate.

Here, you can...

perhaps host small dance parties,

or séances.

And this is something truly special.

Have you ever seen anything like this before? An armchair with casters.

A so-called rolling armchair!

I can roll you around on it wherever you want to go.

Please.

The 550 euros we're currently paying for the apartment,

we'll save on that if we live there.

With that money, we can renovate it little by little.

Hey, it's amazing out there. Right out there, the forest is right next door.

You can go hiking.

Hannes and Sabine live less than 20 minutes by car from there.

And the kids— the kids are going to love it!

That's so much better for them than living in the city.

Heli, you're such a dreamer, really.

Please, Barbara.

Let me do this.

For us.

What would Heidi Appenzeller say?

That's mean.

Hm. Hm. Hm.

Interesting.

Oh?

Yes. But it's difficult.

Yes, colleague, I have completely different plans for this.

- Oh, really? - Yes.

I think this...

...should be a music room.

- Is everything okay? - Yes, everything's fine.

We just need to fix a few things.

Fini's intracranial pressure has gone down.

Is that good?

That's good, yes.

How's your head feeling?

Okay.

- Have you eaten anything? - I'm not hungry.

Please take a break. Please.

Go outside for a bit.

Get some fresh air. Above all, eat and drink something.

I promise you,

we won't let them out of our sight for a single second.

Thank you.

You're too late to get your supper.

Get out of the way, Old Dan Tucker,

you're too late to get your supper.

Fini.

Please stay.

Please.

Stay.

Dad's here.

Grandma, too.

You forgot your shirt.

Pool. Look how it "whirls." Whirley, whirley, whirley...

Well, that's outrageous.

That can't be right.

Will you draw me a road to run on?

Can we only fit one on the string? Can we fit a second one?

There's the nose!

There's the mouth!

There's the mouth!

Pushed into the corner!

Under the ceiling! Under the ceiling!

You do the very top.

I'll do up there, and you do further down—exactly. Good idea.

It's turning out so nice! Right?

That's really a great color.

Mom, I'm going to help.

- Barbara... - What is it?

Our Fini died.

What?

No.

No, no. No, that can't be.

Barbara...

Fini died. No, Dad...

Fini— She was just outside with me

and she told me that she's fighting and that she's staying,

That can't be true.

- What? - Fini died, Barbara.

That can't be true.

Thimo won't make it, but Fini will.

- Fini, she'll make it! - Barbara, I...

Go, turn off the machine.

Time of death?

2 p.m...

No, no, no...

No, that can't be! That can't be!

No, no, no, Fini—she'll make it.

No, Fini will make it.

You can do it, Fini.

Great! Push down really hard.

What's going on? What should I do?

Stay with her, just be there for her. That's good.

Push hard with her! Yes, great!

- Your baby's almost here! - What?! Our baby's almost here!

You're doing a great job. Push hard one more time.

Push hard one more time.

That's not Paul.

Nah.

That...

...is Thimo.

Yes.

Take a look.

Like this, maybe?

Yes.

Nice.

Do you like the one with the roses

or would you prefer something

simpler?

Well, yeah.

The first roses are beautiful.

- The first ones? - Yes.

Then let's take those.

Something else I might be able to offer you,

would be—well, especially since there are children among the deceased...

we have these helium balloons that we could attach to the coffins.

And then at the funeral, during the service, we could

cut them loose and they'll float up into the air.

Well, that's actually quite nice as a symbolic gesture, so to speak.

Nah, we want a completely normal funeral.

Sounds good.

Do you have anything else? Is this okay with you?

Yes?

Good, then I'll finish it up for you.

I'll show it to you one more time before we print it.

Thank you. - You're welcome...

Dad will carry the cross, then comes the pastor,

then the coffins, and then you, Barbara.

I and your parents will be in the second row.

And then Heli's siblings. That's how we'll do it, right?

One row behind them will be the uncles and aunts.

We still need to line up the pallbearers.

It's best to let our people handle that—they know how it's done.

Then, when it comes to brewing...

Are there actually any potential buyers for the house yet?

Nah.

But I'll post the listing online tomorrow.

What, you haven't posted it online yet?

Nah.

I haven't had time.

You've been meaning to do that for weeks now.

Heli, you're inheriting a house from your aunt

...and you're just going to let it fall into disrepair? - No, I'm not.

I'll post the listing online tomorrow— I just said so.

I'll take care of the ad myself tomorrow.

I told you, I'd do it.

You've been talking about it for weeks, saying you'd do it.

I don't know, what do you do all day?

- What do I do all day? - Yeah.

Do the kids take care of themselves, or what?

Heli, they're in daycare all day.

And who takes them there, who picks them up,

who does the shopping, who does all that crap?

Who's the stupid housewife? It's me.

Yeah.

But I don't know how anyone can just not care about everything like that.

If you weren't working, I would've had time

to apply to every circus in Europe.

In Germany, I'd have more opportunities,

in France, they'd take me right away.

What are you talking about, France? You have two small children.

And be glad that I work, okay?

Be glad if I didn't work—are you serious?

Is my job less important than yours now?

Well, mine pays for all of this.

Oh, thank you.

That's just a fact.

I'd also like to spend half the day at home

getting inspired for some stage performances.

Yeah, right, as if you could do that.

Excuse me?

Yeah, just be honest with yourself for once.

You haven't been a real clown for a long time now.

You entertain some patients at a hospital.

- That's nice, but... - It's important

and it's good work.

That doesn't mean I'm not a real clown.

You blow soap bubbles, play the ukulele—that's not art.

It's a form of therapy and it's important, too,

but it's not real art. I make real art.

Exactly. Real art— And completely unpaid, too.

- Come on. - Yeah.

- You really sound just like my dad. - Yeah,

maybe you should've listened to your dad more often.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

Do you really think so?

You know what would've happened, if I'd listened to my dad?

I'd be a carpenter today at a home improvement store by the highway

and if at some point I got so depressed,

that I'd hang myself from the ceiling.

Please, Heli.

- Don't talk like that. - I'll talk however I want.

Yeah, I just want you to sell the house

so we can move out of this dump.

Because you don't believe in me anymore.

Please, Heli.

Grow up.

"Grow up." What's that supposed to mean? "Grow up."

Do you think I care about being an adult?

I'm a clown, for God's sake, I don't want to be an adult!

What a stupid argument!

Shh, keep it down a little, okay?

"Grow up..."

Heli, I think...

You could have found someone else.

Heli, there are dreams and there's reality.

Some of your dreams didn't come true,

but that's not such a big deal.

And all your dreams have come true, or what?

Yeah.

Yeah, what? I have you, I have Thimo, I have Fini,

I have a job that I like,

what more could I possibly want from life?

I don't want to be a clown in this shitty backwater,

- in this shitty Austria! - So what are you going to do?

- Do you want to go to France? - Yeah!

You have to pay bills there, too! - Yeah.

But there, you don't have to sell yourself out like you do.

Heli, you can't do it.

That's why the Red Noses didn't take you either.

Because you can't do it.

You know what?

Lick my ass!

Lick my ass with your bullshit!

Lick my ass.

Don't yell at me like that.

Now you're going to pay for this.

Are you crazy?

Shh, shh, shh...

Come here, you!

"Dear friends,

dear people, who have been standing by me so much

with your words, messages, thoughts, and prayers these past few days.

You're wondering what you can do for me in a situation like this.

What you can say. How you can help.

Your messages alone have helped me a lot,

because the most important thing for me right now is to feel

that I'm not alone.

The fundraising campaigns that have been launched

are also helping me a great deal in practical ways.

Thank you so much—a thousand times over!

It also helps me a lot

to be able to share with you my experiences from the last few days."

What are you doing?

I'm writing a letter.

To all my contacts.

Okay.

What are you writing?

A little while ago, I felt Heli so strongly...

...I felt him.

It was so...

It wrapped itself around me like a cloak.

It was so warm and it was so close.

And he said something like...

"Pachlowitsch,

don't give a shit."

"What's that supposed to mean?

You have to be brave, you have to get out there, you have to..."

So. You know?

And I...

want that, too.

I want to laugh. And I'm laughing!

Yes!

- I love it when you laugh. - Me too.

And Heli too, and the kids too,

they want me to laugh too and for me to be happy.

And not be sad all the time.

"I want nothing to ever come between us.

Whether it's fear, shame, taboos, grief, or whatever.

I'm alive and I want to remain a part of a completely normal life.

Don't be afraid to confront me with this life

and to challenge me in the process.

It feels so good to experience life in all its facets."

Dear God, welcome Helmut and the children into your loving arms.

Be the fulfillment of their longings and grant them new, eternal life,

free from pain and sorrow, with You.

We ask you to hear our prayer.

Lord in Heaven,

we ask you for comfort and hope

after this terrible tragedy.

Strengthen in all of us the faith

that we will be reunited.

We ask you to hear us.

Dear friends, dear relatives, dear clowns,

and dear strangers, who don't know me at all,

but who have read my article in the newspaper:

Thank you.

Thank you all for coming

to remember these three people together today.

These three people were...

anything but perfect.

They weren't always kind, and they certainly weren't saints.

But that's exactly why life was so wonderful with them.

Right up until the end...

and beyond.

That's why I'd like us to...

Today we're not just saying goodbye to them, but also celebrating them.

Because I know that's what they would want.

"Don't take it so seriously!"

That's what Heli would say.

Anyone who knows Heli knows that he takes this very seriously.

That's why, um…

we'd now like to…

to get everyone in the mood for our party, play a song

that Heli, Thimo, and Fini loved very much

and always listened to really loud.

If you'd like, you can picture a yellow clown bus,

driving around the neighborhood, and...

from which this song is coming.

One, two, one, two, three, four.

See you in a minute.

- Hi, Angelika. - Hi, Barbara.

I'm ready to get back to work.

So I thought to myself, I'll just stop by today

and tag along.

Who's on duty today?

Uh.

Whatever! I'll see for myself anyway.

Okay.

Yeah?

- Hi, Jan! - Hello, Barbara.

I'm back!

I'm ready to work again!

- But you're on leave. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,

I thought I'd stop by and tag along for a bit.

Whose turn is it today?

- You can just stay home. - Yeah, I know,

but I don't want to stay home anymore.

I want to get out and go back to work.

But...

that...

I don't think that's going to work, Barbara.

Why?

Well...

You just buried your family last week.

Yeah.

But that was Barbara.

And she wants... She wants to let everyone know

that she was so happy that you were all there,

really, it was so nice.

Yeah, it was really nice, yeah.

But, Barbara...

I can't let you work with sick kids

and their parents right now.

Why not?

They know about the accident and about you, and...

because you published that letter...

Oh, I see! Because I'm famous now, that's why. Oh, right.

I see.

Look, the... the people...

Look, nobody sees the clown Heidi anymore.

The people...

- The people... - But I'm still here.

Jan, I don't believe that people don't see me when I'm there.

People now only see the woman

who lost her family.

You're on leave now, and we'll keep paying you

for as long as you want, but that's not going to work anymore.

Okay?

I'm sorry.

Happiness...

What will my happiness be?

What kind of happy woman is little Antigone supposed to become?

What humiliations will I have to endure day after...

Okay. Please start over from the beginning.

When in life do you turn to luck?

When? You have to know that.

- Mhm. - Yeah?

Because if you don't know what you're talking about,

how am I supposed to know?

- Okay. - Okay? Thanks. And please.

Happiness...

What will my happiness be?

What kind of happy woman is little Antigone supposed to become?

What humiliations will I have to endure day after day,

to tear a tiny scrap of happiness from life with my teeth?

Who will I lie to,

who should I fake a smile at and who do I have to sell myself to?

Who do I have to turn my back on and let die?

No, I'm not quiet!

- I'm in! - Yeah! Crazy!

- Ciao. - Ciao.

Look, Dad, he grabbed her butt.

That's just not right! I mean... How dare he!

Nah, I don't feel like dancing.

Me, me!

Yeah, okay.

Bravo! Bravo!

Phew, so I studied in Paris, and then

specialized in New York and Bogotá.

Then two years of mime training in London.

And then there's the final exam

to become a certified performer. Yeah.

Wow.

Well,

you stand in front of the crowd and claim you're one,

a clown.

Okay, but how do you make that a career?

You put a shoe there

and hope that people will throw money in it.

Are you looking for a partner, by any chance?

I mean, for clowning, for performances.

Oh, I see...

Well, usually I do all that on my own.

Okay, yeah.

Well, wait a minute.

I have a gig next month at a school in front of kids.

Just goofing around a bit, to make some money.

It's totally different from what I did before, but it's also fun and...

I can totally see myself adding a second clown.

- A female clown. - Really?

Yeah. If you want.

- Would you do that? - I'd totally love to!

- Really? - Yeah, totally!

- So if it's... - Yeah! Yeah, totally, but...

We'll have to rehearse a lot, though.

- I have time. - Really?

- Plenty of time. - Okay,

- then I'll give you my business card. - Okay, sounds good.

Okay!

Just give me a call— Here's my phone number.

Okay, Waldemar.

- Yeah, I'm actually Heli. - Barbara.

Barbara. Hi, Barbara. - Nice to meet you.

Me too.

Yeah, well, see you... in a minute.

See you in a minute.

The door opens.

Hi, Barbara.

Glad you came after all. - Of course.

- Say hi to Barbara? - Hi!

Xaver—he made something. Show me what you made.

Thimo and I built this together.

Oh!

You guys always liked to play with excavators, didn't you?

Mhm.

So this one's great, too. Thanks.

Is that really true,

that they were all thrown from the car?

Yeah, that's right, they were all thrown from the car.

Right, we were talking about that.

That...

was a terrible accident,

the one that happened there.

And what did you bring, Alex, what did you bring with you?

Wow!

That's a really nice drawing.

What's in it?

Fini and Thimo.

- Fini and Thimo? - Yeah.

On the rainbow?

I dreamed about Fini, that she told me

she's walking a little way with Thimo up the rainbow

and then she slides back down.

And why does Fini slide back down?

Because she's so small.

Can you show me that sometime?

That looks really nice, Alex, you did a great job.

You dreamed that Fini came back?

Yes.

That she's only halfway up the rainbow with Thimo

- and then comes back again? - Mhm.

Thanks, Alex, that's such a beautiful drawing.

Thanks!

You did a great job.

And thanks for your story and the dream.

Thanks, Alex, that's so sweet of you.

Why is Barbara crying?

I think so too, that she'll come back.

I'm really happy about your dream and the drawing—thanks.

Fini.

- Hi. - Hello.

- Tobi. - Barbara.

Nice to meet you.

Likewise.

Are you here often? Or...

Yeah, every now and then.

It's just always Friday. You know how it is. Same old crap.

It's packed, isn't it? Will we be able to get in tonight?

Yeah, sure!

The wait is worth it.

Same old crap, but you know how it is.

Okay.

The smoke's rolling in inside. It's going to be an awesome night.

Cool.

- You look good. - Thanks, thanks.

You, too.

Thanks.

Want to see my car?

- Is that okay? - Damn mechanism.

We don't need that.

- I'm on birth control anyway. - Really?

Yeah.

Wait.

Fuck!

That's... not...

Aaaah.

It's okay.

- It's no big deal, really. - Yeah.

Ah, fuck, man.

Yeah, it's fine.

- Seriously, don't worry about it. - Yeah.

- It happens. - Yeah.

Yeah, let's just forget about it, okay?

That's fine.

Okay.

Yeah, that's fine. I'm outta here.

- I'm outta here, right? - That's fine.

That's fine.

That's fine. Yeah, ciao. - Ciao.

- Ciao. - Okay...

That's fine.

- See ya, right? - Bye.

Focus, balance.

There. And then just shift your weight forward. Exactly, great.

Yeah. Now you're standing. Okay...

Now focus on any point.

It can be me, but it doesn't have to be. It can also be the wall behind me.

- And then I'll let you go. - Okay.

- Watch out. - Yeah.

Is that okay?

Shit!

That's fine.

Look, it's really not about perfection—it's just about

you making something of it. It's about surprising people.

The fact that people have to laugh— That's the secret.

I think it's also the performance effect.

Yeah, it just makes me nervous.

Okay, should I go out?

- Turn around. - Turn around? Really?

Yeah, I just need a moment alone... I mean, without you looking at me.

Then I won't be able to catch you, right?

Okay.

Ah! I've got it!

Wow!

You're such a goofball!

You're a natural! I'm going to call Roncalli right away,

that's insane. Seriously! That's unbelievable!

That's awesome.

Now just toss it to me. I'll toss it back to you.

Hey, heppa! Hop!

The clown is the most unfinished character there is.

For example, among the Sioux in North America, in that tribe.

There's always been a clown figure there, too—the Heyoka.

He always did the opposite of what was actually expected.

For example, when it was insanely hot,

he'd wrap himself in his blanket and freeze.

When the chief wanted to attack another tribe,

he'd smoke the peace pipe with that other tribe.

And his role in this tribe was always just,

to show people that there's always another way of looking at things.

It's never perfect, there's never just one right answer.

That sounds really, really cool, I have to say.

And do you want to do that for the rest of your life?

Yes.

Definitely. For me, there's nothing else.

I mean, it's just...

Being a clown...

I don't know, compared to acting,

what makes it special is that you work on a character your whole life.

And no matter what happens to you in life,

All of that goes into this character.

And it gets better every year.

And that's why old clowns are so fascinating.

Because when you look an old clown in the eyes,

you see his whole life.

That's actually kind of my dream,

that one day I'll be an old clown like that.

The second point:

You must be in a heteronormative relationship.

So you must be in a healthy relationship with a man

and unsuccessful at natural mating.

Married or in a marriage-like cohabitation

and willing to raise a child.

But if I were in a relationship,

then I wouldn't need artificial insemination.

Yes, I understand that

but we're only allowed to help couples who want to have children.

Okay...

Uh...

The only option I'd have now would be

to let some guy get me pregnant?

Ms. Pachl-Eberhardt, the law in Austria

clearly disadvantages single women who want to have children.

That's not fair, and there are countries that handle it differently...

That can't be right.

...but we can't put ourselves above the law. I'm sorry.

Yeah, okay...

- Thanks. - Goodbye.

You don't have to check up on me.

Yes, Babsi. I do.

I was really worried.

You don't have to be.

- I don't have to? - No.

Yeah, it would still be kind of cool if you'd stay reachable.

Okay.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Okay. - Okay. Yeah.

What are you wearing, anyway?

Were you out?

I was at the club.

- At the club? - Yeah.

I...

- Am I not allowed to do that? - Sure.

Yeah, I was just... I...

I wanted to hang out with people a little bit

and I wanted to take my mind off things a little. That's why.

Yeah...

You can take me along next time.

Sorry, next time I'll let you know.

- Please. - Let's go dancing.

Then I'll do the worm again. - Mhm.

That'd be nice.

Kind of like the old days.

But you know,

if you're feeling like hanging out with people again, then...

Hannes and I were thinking of going out to eat next week

with a friend of his.

Friedrich—he's an actor.

Maybe you'd like to come along.

Friedrich—what's his last name again?

Friedrich Rauch. You might know him from TV.

He's really adorable. He…

I think he'd like to meet you.

Ah.

Yeah.

Sabine told me

that you'd like to meet me.

- You did? - Yeah...

Yeah... no... well, yes. Actually, yes.

I read your letter and...

I've never read anything that really moved me like that.

It made me cry. It was...

It really got me thinking.

- So... - And what were you thinking about?

Well, I've also been on my own journeys.

Spiritual ones, too.

Reiki and...

the Meridial Technique,

Tantra, right?

Because I've been wondering my whole life,

what is actually the worst thing that can happen to us humans.

And I believe it's loneliness.

Being abandoned.

When you look around and your loved ones are no longer there.

I've always wondered, how can you manage...

truly cope with it? So that you don't become an alcoholic, or…

Drugs, suicide…

And…

then I read your letter,

how you write about what you've experienced

and how you deal with it.

I'm also grateful that you shared your story

with the public. That's...

The whole public thing— It was actually a bit unintentional.

- Oh, really? - Yeah, I actually just wanted to

send the letter to my friends, so to everyone in my contacts.

And there just happened to be a journalist among them,

who then asked me if she could publish it.

I kind of regret it a little bit now, but...

Anyway, no matter how it happened, but really, um...

Thank you,

that you share your pain with the world, yeah. Because...

it helps.

It helps me, too, to deal with my own pain, right?

What kind of pain?

Well, I've also gone through, uh, some...

the darkness, so to speak.

Professionally, too. I've played murderers and rapists.

I mean, really... um...

Art and pain—that's really...

just very, well...

Somehow, they go together.

Should we pick something to eat?

Yeah, sure, food.

So, Friedrich,

what's it like being a famous TV doctor?

- Do people often come up to you? - Yeah, it happens all the time.

Do they call you "Doctor"?

That happens, too. Just the other day, right there in the supermarket,

a nice woman approached me and asked about a rash.

What?

So, did you prescribe her something?

Yes. A strict diet, no TV.

I really think it's great

that I can help you with your acting-related pain.

At least that meant it was good for something.

Babsi, he didn't mean it that way.

I know.

I can't do this right now.

Babsi, wait!

Babsi, please wait.

No, it's fine, Sabine.

Please don't go. It was just a stupid idea.

- Come on, I can drive you home, too. - No, Sabine, I'm fine.

Really,

I'm fine. - Babsi...

He didn't mean it that way.

He… he gets nervous sometimes and then he acts weird,

he's just an actor, but…

I know.

Sabine, she wants to go back.

What?

Who?

Babsi, what do you mean by that?

I really have to... I have to go to bed.

- I can give you a ride. - No, it's fine.

Yes, Mom's taking a shower!

It feels so good, the water on my skin!

Don't splash!

Please don't splash me!

Well, that's outrageous!

That can't be right!

Oh, that feels so good.

Why is there so much grass in here?

Because it's a meadow bath.

Ah, there's someone in there with Dad.

Did you splash yourself?

Not me!

Why is he laughing like that? Shall we give you a shower?

What...?

Yes, Mom's taking a shower!

It feels so good, the water on my skin!

Well, that's outrageous!

What else can you blow up with that?

Not in your mouth!

I'm not a balloon,

why are you doing this to me?

But you sound like one.

I think I need to inflate you some more.

- M-m! - Yeah, you're a little flat.

- Stop. - No, no. Aaah! Oh, oh, oh...

Pump me up some more!

I want to be a clown.

- Really? - Yes!

Yeah. I mean, you're already one, but...

How do I do that?

You have to find your character.

What kind of clown would you like to be?

Um, what kind of clown?

I don't know. What...

Yeah, what... What can your clown do?

Maybe he can...

What can he do?

Speak a little Swiss German?

- Maybe? Yeah? - Yeah, that's great.

- Is that enough? - That's… That's great.

All right, then.

So, this is where we put the boxes. That's perfect.

Good.

Come on in.

- You don't lock up? - Oh, what's there to steal anyway?

My clown shoes, size 91?

This is the living room.

Over there is the kitchen.

From there, you have a view of the Graz skyline.

Awesome. Impressive.

And back there— That's my spa area.

As you can see, that's Wuzel's kingdom.

Back there is the bathroom.

And that over there...

is the kids' room.

Oh, right.

Yeah, nice.

But if we want more than one child, it's going to get a little cramped.

That was a joke.

- How many kids do you want to have? - No, I don't even know,

whether I want kids. That was a dumb joke.

Actually, I'd love to have five.

What on earth would you do with five kids?

I have five favorite names. I'd love to give them out.

What are they?

Paul, Maja, Valentina, Rudolf, and Moritz.

Well then, let's get started, shall we?

With what?

Hmm...

Well, with Paul.

Should we go to the bedroom?

Oh, right, back there—the sofa, right? - Yeah.

Barbara?

Sorry. Oh God.

I didn't mean to scare you. What—what are you doing there?

I... um...

The way I acted that evening and what I said—yes,

that I took your letter and what you went through,

and applied it to myself.

And what I said about the pain.

I really feel terrible about it

and it wasn't right and it was stupid and...

I want to apologize for that.

I'm sorry. Really.

Okay.

Yeah, okay.

Yep...

Almost.

Ugh! God.

Doesn't the Alpine doctor have to chop wood?

No, my office has radiant floor heating.

Aaah!

Do you do that all day?

Yeah, who else?

You have two kids, right?

Yeah.

Two boys.

How old?

Twelve and fifteen.

And what's it like— I mean, how do you handle it?

- What do you mean? - Well, do you see them often?

No.

I'm sorry to hear that.

And would you want to have more kids?

I mean, if you were to meet someone new, or something like that.

I don't know.

I haven't thought about it yet.

What about you?

Do you want to have kids again?

Yes.

Thanks.

Bring some wood here for the stove. Thanks.

- Would you like some tea? - Yes, please.

You have a nice place here.

Thanks.

Hello.

Wow. Hi.

Hello, Barbara told me

that you'd like to meet Heidi.

Oh yes, I'd love to, absolutely.

Yes,

here she is, Heidi Appenzeller.

Friedrich Rauch, my name.

Oh, no!

You're—you're the one!

Yes, you're the one, the, the, the doctor,

the one up on the mountain!

- That was me. - The Mountain... No,

the Alpine Doctor! The Alpine Physician!

What... I...

I can't believe it,

the Alpine Physician right here in my house!

Off duty—the office is closed.

- Is the office closed? - I turned in my license.

That's too bad, though, because,

you see,

I actually need to see a doctor.

Oh dear. - Yeah...

Oh dear. - Yeah!

You see, I've actually had this for a few days now,

almost weeks,

I've had this pain in my chest.

I'm sorry.

Oh! Now it's hit me again.

It really is—it's terrible, it's such a sharp pain.

In the morning, at noon, and in the evening!

Sometimes in the afternoon, too, in between, while I'm having coffee.

Yeah, it really stings right here.

Uh! I really think...

I think you have to help me, Doctor!

But you did take that oath, didn't you?

You're just a lukewarm, half-baked doctor, aren't you?

I'm really almost dying here!

Yes, Mrs. Appenzeller, hello.

It's a pleasure to see you.

Nice to see you.

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

- Ooooh! Thank you, Alpine Doctor. - I was already on my way

out of the office, but I always have time for you.

Please, come on in to the lovely parlor.

Thank you.

Oh, what a beautiful office.

Where does it hurt, Ms. Appenzeller?

Well...

Right there. - Hmm.

- May I listen to your chest? - Of course.

It really is a stabbing pain.

Please stop talking for a moment, and take a deep breath.

Mhm. Cough.

Like that?

Wonderful.

Everything looks perfectly normal. What's wrong with me—

what's wrong with me, Doctor?

And here's your heart rhythm, too.

Yes, right there.

Wonderful.

Everything's perfectly normal.

But I don't feel that way. Something's not right.

Can you feel that?

There.

No.

Barbara...

I don't think that's a good idea, is it?

What do you want from me?

I just think...

No, seriously...

What, what do you want?

Now you're at a loss for words, or what?

You're usually pretty chatty.

- It's better if I go, right? - Yeah.

Barbara, I can stay, too.

No, go. I don't have any time to waste.

Okay. Then...

I love our wedding rings.

Mhm.

I'm so proud of you, Pachlowitsch.

I think...

you're going to be the best mom in all of Eastern Styria.

And you're the best dad.

- What about me? - You, too!

Thanks, Mom.

Happy anniversary!

No!

Are you guys crazy?

- How nice! - They're so dumb!

I'm actually really good at riding a unicycle.

Really?

I'm the Giant Caterpillar.

Hi, Friedrich.

Hi, Barbara.

I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing.

Ah… Good.

And you?

Me too. I'm good, too.

Yeah... I just wanted to check in again.

I'm...

I'm spending a lot of time alone right now.

Yeah...

I feel a little lonely, too.

- It's not so great. - Yeah.

Do you need anything?

Well...

Maybe some firewood?

What?

If you need anything— Firewood, maybe?

Um, yeah. I could always use some.

Hey.

Hey.

- Over there, drumming? - Yeah, drumming...

A little tomboy.

She wasn't a quiet kid.

She looks cute...

Thimo.

Heli.

- Always in sweaters like that, right? - Yeah, exactly!

- From the flea market? - Yeah, always from there.

He hated shopping.

That's why he wore those for years.

- Yeah, he can pull it off, right? - Yeah, yeah.

I think he really does have it... That's where I met him.

I was holding it in my hands today anyway.

I've sorted through a few things.

And I came across all kinds of favorite items.

I don't need them anymore. So, if you want them...

Otherwise, I'd give them away.

Look.

This is my collection of favorite sweaters.

There it is, anyway.

- Yeah, that's it. - Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Can I?

Yeah.

Maybe a little big.

Oh, Heli.

Why didn't you see the train?

The sun was blinding me.

And I couldn't…

I couldn't see a thing.

And why didn't you hear the horn?

It was really loud in the car.

We were listening to music.

- Mhm. - And singing along.

"Old Dan Tucker," right?

Yeah.

Mhm.

Really loud?

Yeah.

Did the kids sing along too?

Yeah.

Good.

I miss you.

Do you want to give everything away? Or do you want to keep some things?

Not everything, but most of it, yeah.

Ah, not that one—that belongs to Fini.

- The bunny? - Yeah, that's her favorite stuffed animal.

I'll have to take this for a sec, okay?

- Mhm. - Hi, Lena.

Yeah, yeah, I already heard.

Performances I have the 7th and 10th

and the final performance on the 14th.

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, yeah. Script reading, the 11th and 12th—that's fine.

Has the production manager gotten in touch?

Yeah, yeah, hmm... Good.

No, no, no, no. No!

No!

Barbara? Barbara!

No, no, no. No, leave me alone!

Barbara! What's going on?

I'm here.

- What's going on? - No!

What are you thinking?

Just go make a phone call,

while I'm dealing with the stuff from my dead family...

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.

I can't do this, I can't take it.

It hurts so much, it hurts so much.

It hurts so much!

Sleep with me.

- Sleep with me. - No, no, no.

Barbara, stop.

- Stop. - I want Fini back.

Barbara, stop! Stop it. No, stop it!

Stop!

You can't have Fini back.

Yes, I can!

Yes, I know, I know...

Yes, I can.

Okay, Fini's gone, Barbara.

No! No, Fini…

Fini…

she wants to come back.

- Yes. - No.

Yes.

Yes.

But... but...

but.

Stop! Stop, please, stop.

Barbara. Thimo is dead.

And Heli is dead.

And Fini is dead.

And they're not coming back either.

You can leave anytime, right?

Do you want me to leave?

No.

Then I'll stay.

Sometimes I wish I were really Heidi Appenzeller.

Yeah, because she'd know...

She'd know what to do.

Well.

Okay.

It's your turn.

Good. We'll get through these three numbers before the break...

Hello.

Hello.

I'm Heidi Appenzeller.

I've come from far away.

I brought something with me.

You look great.

And important.

Very important.

Good.

I brought along a little extra weight, too,

but I've been told it's good for balance.

There.

There...

There.

Don't worry.