Original subtitles

Youth is a lie, it's nothing but evil.

Those who rejoice in youth deceive themselves and those around them,

accepting the full circumstances in their surroundings.

Here.

When they're talking about the word 'youth',

they will twist any common interpretation or notion.

To them,

lies, secrets, sins, and failure...

are just the seasoning of youth.

If failure is indeed a symbol of youth,

Hey, are you...

then is there not something abnormal about one...

who fails at making friends, if he isn't still in the midst of his youth?

But they won't just admit it, right?

It's all a double standard.

So, my conclusion is...

all you fools who still enjoy youth...

can go to hell.

You're the one that needs to go to hell.

Say, Hikigaya...

what was the topic I assigned to you in class?

It was an essay about looking back on our high school days.

Then, how did you write such poorly-written essay?

What is this?

How did you write like this?

Oh my...

You have the same eyes as a dead fish.

Is it so rich in DHA?

I feel smarter already.

Listen carefully.

No, but I did look back on my high school days.

Isn't this how high school kids these days think of?

Hey, little brat. Stop being arrogant.

Brat...

Well, from your perspective, maybe I'm still a brat...

Didn't anyone ever tell you not to mention about a woman's age?

I am so sorry.

I'll rewrite it...

Come with me.

Teacher Hiratsuka,

I believe I asked you to knock the door before entering.

Even if I knocked the door, you're not going to answer it.

Because you always come in before I can answer.

So, who's that nerd?

I know this girl.

International Liberal Arts Class J.

Girls make up 90% of the class.

They're known for scoring higher than average and being high-profile.

The most talented student in class has to be...

Yukino Yukinoshita...

Everyone knows her in school.

He's looking to join your club.

I'm Hachiman Hikigaya from Year 2 Class F.

Well...

What do you mean, I'm looking to join?

As a punishment for your rubbish essay,

I'm ordering you to join this club.

You're not allowed to object, argue, protest, question, or talk back.

That's it, I'm sure you can see it now.

His temper is as bad as the look in his eyes.

That's why, he's a perpetually lonely, pathetic soul.

In this club, you will rectify his contrary, solitary nature.

That's my request.

I decline.

Looking at his wretched eyes full of evil intentions, I fear for my life.

I wasn't looking at your flat chest.

It's true.

Don't worry.

He is only good at risk estimation and self-protection.

He wouldn't do anything that violates the law.

You can trust his gangster-like looks.

Hey, I'd rather you say that I can make rational decisions...

Gangster? I see.

She's not even listening, and she's convinced.

Since it's your request, I can't very well refuse.

I'll accept it.

Good. In that case, please take care of him for me, Yukinon.

Hey, are you kidding me?

What just happened?

I suddenly recalled a bittersweet memory.

Can't we be friends?

Forget about friends, we never even spoke again after that.

Well, to me, romantic comedies don't actually happen in real life.

I was professionally trained to resist such romantic comedy trap.

Girls are only interested in handsome guys,

and indulge in dirty relationships.

In other words, they're my enemies.

Can't we be friends?

In order to erase that kind of memory,

letting her hate on me is the quickest way.

I decided to intimidate Yukinoshita instead of greeting her nicely.

Stop standing there, sit down.

Ah, yes. I'm sorry.

Any problem?

No. I still don't understand what's going on.

Say, what kind of club is this?

Try and guess it.

Literature and Art Club?

Why'd you say that?

There's no particular backdrop or special equipments in this room.

Besides, you've been reading the entire time.

-You're wrong. -Then? What club is this?

What I'm doing here right now is this club's activity.

I surrender. I have no clue.

Hikigaya, how long has it been since you spoke with a girl?

I think it was two years ago, in June.

Do you think it's hot?

Yeah, it's humid.

The rich giving to the poor with a compassionate heart.

People call it volunteer work.

Reaching out to those in need.

That is what this club does.

Welcome to the Service Club. Thanks for joining.

As I have been asked, I will fulfill my responsibility.

I'll rectify your problem.

Thank me.

This wench...

My problem?

I'm pretty good in my own way.

I was third in my grade on the Japanese ability test.

And I'm pretty good-looking.

Besides not having any friends or girlfriend, I'm basically high-end!

You can say all that so confidently,

I think that's really impressive.

-You're weird, I'm a little disgusted. -Shut up!

I don't want to hear that from you, you weirdo!

Based on my observation, the reason why you're so lonely...

is because of your rotten personality and contrary sensitivity.

As for your appearance,

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

In other words, as of right now, only what I say is correct.

Although your opinions are ridiculous, but they're quite logical.

Alright, the conversation simulation is now complete.

If you can talk freely with a girl like me,

then you'll have no problem talking to anyone else.

Have I rectified you a bit now?

For your information, it's not like I can't talk to people.

I just don't need any unnecessary conversations.

I don't need any rectifying.

I believe that if you don't change, you'll harm our society.

Yukinoshita, I'm coming in.

-Knock the door. -I'm sorry.

You seem to have trouble rectifying Hikigaya.

It's because he isn't aware that he has a problem.

Not at all.

How do I put it...

I don't want others to tell me who I am,

or pointing fingers at me asking me to change.

Are you trying to run away?

Why can't you just accept someone for who

they are and what's in their past?

That won't...

That won't solve anyone's concerns,

nor will it save anyone.

Both of you, calm down.

Since ancient times, it's a custom of shounen manga...

to settle conflicting senses of justice with a showdown.

What are you talking about?

What I'm saying is that...

let's have a showdown to see who can do the best service!

That's absurd.

The winner can order the loser to do anything. How's that sound?

When you say "anything," you mean "anything," right?

I decline.

Competing against him makes me fear for my life.

That's prejudice.

Second-year high school boys don't think about trivial things.

There's also...

World peace?

Actually, I don't think about anything else that much.

I guess even Yukino Yukinoshita...

also have things to fear about.

Are you afraid that you'll lose?

Fine.

Although I was a little unhappy after the teacher provoked me,

I accept.

That's settled then.

What about my opinion?

Hello, there.

I never thought you'd come.

Are you a masochist?

-No, I'm not. -What about a stalker?

Why are you assuming that I have feelings for you?

-You don't? -No.

I can't stand your overconfidence.

May I ask, do you have any friends?

Let me see.

First of all, define the word "friend".

Enough. That's something someone with no friends would say.

I'm the source.

You seem to be a likeable person, how can you have no friends?

What's the matter?

You won't understand.

I've always been pretty since I was small,

all boys have gotten close to me with other intentions.

You call yourself lonely even though people like you,

what a disgrace.

If everyone had liked me, perhaps that would have been fine.

What does that mean?

In elementary school,

my indoor shoes were hidden from me for about 60 times.

Fifty of those times were done by the girls.

Thanks to them, I've to take my indoor shoes and recorder home every day.

Sounds harsh on you.

It is harsh.

Because I'm cute.

But I have no choice.

Because no one is perfect.

They're weak, ugly, and they push others out due to jealousy.

It's odd that the better you are, the harder it is to live.

Don't you think that's unreasonable?

That's why I want to change the world...

and the people in it.

The direction of your hard work is too high.

I think it's much better than drying up and fading to nothing.

The way you accept your weakness as a positive,

I hate it.

Yukinoshita carries the pain of a rich person.

It's not really difficult to hide these things.

That's what people do in this world.

But Yukinoshita doesn't do that.

She'd never lie to herself.

There must be something similar between us.

I couldn't help thinking that, in spite of myself.

Even the silence at that moment felt comfortable.

I felt the rhythm of my heart beating the speed of the second hand,

as if it's clamoring that I want to go further.

Then, she and I...

Hey, Yukinoshita.

If you don't mind...

-I'll be your friend... -Sorry, it can't be done.

I wasn't even finished.

Please come in.

Excuse me...

Teacher Hiratsuka asked me to come.

What is Hikki doing here?

I'm a member here.

Wait, is "Hikki" supposed to be me?

Who is she?

You're Yui Yuigahama from Year 2 Class F, right?

Have a seat first.

You know me?

I bet you've memorized every student's names.

No. I didn't know who you were.

Really?

Don't worry about it,

I blame my heart for being so weak til I dare not notice your existence.

Are you trying to comfort me?

I'm just being sarcastic.

This feels like a very fun club.

Besides, Hikki, you're so talkative.

No, no, I just meant...

You're totally different from the way you behave in class.

I mean, your usual behavior is quite disgusting.

This bitch.

Who are you calling a bitch? I'm still a virgin...

Nothing...

It's not something embarrassing.

At your age, being a virgin...

What are you talking about?

It's still embarrassing to be one in the second year!

Don't you think you're a little lacking in femininity, Yukinoshita?

Such pointless values.

By the way, the word "femininity" sounds pretty nasty to me.

Again, it's unreasonable to call someone a wench.

It's really disgusting.

Calling someone a wench has nothing to do with being creepy.

And please, stop calling me Hikki, wench.

You're so annoying and disgusting.

I can't take it anymore!

Cookies?

She hoped that someone would eat the cookies she made.

But she's not confident, so she wants our help.

Go and ask your friends for that.

Well, actually...

I don't want them to know about it.

Acting serious like this doesn't really match my friends.

I see.

Besides, I heard from Teacher Hiratsuka...

that this club fulfils students' wishes, right?

No, the Service Club only helps people.

Teaching people how to fish is better so they can provide for themselves.

That's amazing.

It's crooked, can't you put on an apron nicely?

Sorry, thank you.

So, what should I do?

You can taste them and give us some comments.

How can someone make so many mistakes?

It looks like the same charcoal from the hardware store.

Am I a poison tester?

Where's the poison in this?

It's really poisonous.

Are we going to die?

Well, let's try to improve this.

Just ask Yuigahama to stop cooking.

Is that how you solve the problem?

Sure enough, I'm bad at cooking.

I don't have the talent.

The solution is to work hard.

Yuigahama, you just said you don't have talent, right?

Try to change your mindset.

People who don't put in effort have no right to envy those with talent.

Unsuccessful people are unsuccessful because they can't imagine...

successful people's efforts.

But recently, everyone says they don't cook...

Maybe it doesn't suit them.

Could you please stop trying to match yourself with others?

It's really annoying.

You want others to tell you that you're awkward, clumsy, or foolish.

Don't you feel ashamed?

So...

So cool.

You don't say anything superficial at all.

It's actually quite cool.

Did you hear what I just said?

I think I was a little too harsh.

Your words were harsh,

but it felt true.

I'm always trying to match everyone else.

I'm sorry! I'll do it right next time!

Just teach her the right way.

I'll demonstrate once, follow closely.

They're totally different...

What else can I do to make you understand?

Say, why do you want to make delicious cookies?

What are you trying to say?

Come back here after 10 minutes.

I'll show you some real handmade cookies.

It's my turn for the showdown.

Are they real handmade cookies?

They're not very tasty.

-Really? -Sorry. I'll throw them away.

Wait a minute!

You don't have to throw them away.

It's actually not that bad.

Okay, actually they're made by you.

What's happening?

This is a story of my friend's friend.

There was a girl who would tell him whenever something happened.

"She must be in love with me."

How did he even think of that?

So he made up his mind, and he asked her.

So, tell me who you like.

Just say the initials.

-H... -H? Could it be me?

What are you talking about? You're so disgusting.

Can you please stop?

Wait a minute. Is that your personal experience?

Hey, you fool.

It's my friend's friend.

So, what should we draw from this matter?

Well, guys are simple-minded.

They'll misunderstand even if you're just talking to them.

So, they'll be happy just to get handmade cookies from you.

Don't worry if they don't taste good.

They don't taste good?

Shut up!

As long as he knows that you've tried your best,

it's enough to touch a man's heart.

Is that true?

Would you feel touched, Hikki?

Of course, I'll be incredibly touched.

By the way, stop calling me Hikki.

So, what are you going to do, Yuigahama?

I'm going to try my own method.

Thank you, Yukinoshita.

Would it really be alright?

Yuigahama's request from last week.

Why did you mention it suddenly?

If you want to improve yourself, I think you should challenge the limit.

In the end, it's for Yuigahama's benefit.

Your efforts will never betray you,

but they may betray your dreams.

Even if you work hard, some dreams may not come true.

It's safe to say that most people can't achieve it

But your hard work can be considered as consolation.

That's just self-satisfaction.

How naive and disgusting!

Hello.

What's the matter?

What, I'm not welcomed here?

Yukinoshita, do you hate me?

I don't hate you, I'm just not good at dealing with you.

It's the same meaning in girls' language.

So, what's the matter?

I guess I'll have to thank you guys, right?

I've made some cookies.

I don't have much appetite.

It's quite interesting to try!

Maybe I'll try bento-making next time.

And, Yukinon...

let's eat lunch in the activity room together!

No, thanks. I prefer eating alone. Forget about it.

Also, "Yukinon" sounds uncomfortable.

Speaking of that, Yukinon...

I'm free after school.

I'll help you with the club activities.

-You're welcome. -Are you listening to me?

-It's just a way to say thanks. -Yuigahama

Hikki!

A thank you gift for you.

You've helped me a lot too.

This looks ominous.

It seems like a jinx somehow,

but I'll accept it with gratitude.

And stop calling me Hikki.

"And So, Our Mistaken Youth Begins."

Subtitles provided by: SMG Entertainment Sdn Bhd

It's really irritating how you can't make up your mind.

I thought you're an ape trying to intimidate me.

I can't stand you, Hachiman.

That's just a delusion of grandeur.

-Delusion of grandeur? -Yukinon, run!

I think I understand.

Your request: you want us to heal this mental illness, right?

I am the Kengo Shogun,

Yoshiteru Zaimokuza!

"Everyone Must Have Their Own Worries"