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Once upon a time, there was a little girl,
just like any other little girl.
And like most little girls, she loved collecting beautiful things...
- Look at what I have. - ..always sharing them with her friends.
Hello.
Come on over and meet my friends.
She would throw the most amazing tea parties for her very closest companions.
Have you met my daddy? He's the governor, you know.
And then it happened.
You know, that awkward but typical time of life when you feel like every eye is on you?
Like you're the main attraction in a three-ring circus.
That's right. She became a teenager.
But eventually, she made it through,
and as she blossomed, she became more comfortable with herself.
- There she is. Hey, Sam. How are you doing? - Hi, sweetie.
And like most teenagers, she enjoyed parties,
and pizza.
- Enjoy. - Thanks.
Like her peers, she often felt as if her every move was scrutinised.
- Hold it. - Big smile, Sam.
Promise you would never let me leave the house like that.
Looks like she found Chelsea Clinton's old crimping iron and Amy Carter's Sassoons.
- It's like a terrorist got hold of her. - I don't know what's going on.
What do you think? What is the worst outfit you have ever seen Sam wear?
- I bet it's gonna be close. - I bet it is, too.
There have been a lot of lousy outfits.
If Mac is back, get in there and clean out your kid's closet.
- But with maturity... - Je m'appelle Samantha.
- ...she was able to look outside herself... - Bonjour, Mademoiselle.
...and appreciate the wisdom of her elders.
I'll tell you something. Decades in politics give you special life skills, Sam.
Like an excellent poker face.
Not bad, Senator Downer.
Thank you for the tip.
In short,
she grew up happily...
- Good night. - ..with the love of a father...
- Night, Sam. - ..and a mother...
- See you in the morning, sweetheart. - ..she thought were the centre of the world,
in an old white house
they called home.
Lucky Charm's on site.
Something wrong with Sam.
Are you sure? It's an election year.
- She could use a little downtime. - Soon she can have plenty of downtime.
Mr and Mrs Latif Moratee, President Mackenzie, the First Lady, Samantha.
Hello. Pleased to meet you, Samantha.
Right here, please. This way.
So, we have a press conference at nine. To Marine One 9:15. To Air Force One at ten.
Travel time, four hours, 59 minutes. 25 minutes to destination Redmond Uni...
Hold that thought, Liz.
Let's pretend that tomorrow I'm heading off to college.
I grab my bags, which I packed myself.
I throw them into my collegiate car, next to my cooler
that has a beer hiding under the baloney sandwiches.
My parents cry. Their only child is growing up and so forth.
And then I do it.
I drive off, like the normal, run-of-the-mill kid that I am.
You're still a princess. You should at least wear a ball gown.
Ignorance is bliss. What can I say?
I say, good night, normal, boring girl.
And hide that beer, because under the sandwiches is the first place they'll look.
- Duly noted. - Good night.
Did you take the southern route through the stairwell, or the northern route?
Eastern route.
Two elevators, moving walkway, turn left at the Lincoln arches.
It's lesser known, but very effective.
Eastern route's one of my favourites, actually.
And that Lincoln arches thing, it's a very nice touch.
You know, if you're gonna eat this cake, you have to pay the toll.
Inflation.
You should really do something about that.
- Not the dancing. - Dancing.
- Ready? - Ready.
Good.
- I need to say something. - OK.
About tomorrow... I was thinking.
- Maybe I should go alone. - Really?
It's hard enough to blend in having a team of secret-service men carrying my books.
All I'm saying...
I just want to be like everybody else.
Sam.
You're not like everybody else.
Ready? It's the big finish.
Here it comes.
Yes. Yes.
They won't ask you about policy. They'll ask about your expectations,
- your hopes, your major, and you'll say... - Don't worry. I'm set. Does anyone have...?
Got it. So, you're just like any other American family.
...whose daughter's going to college. You're not just the first lady, but you're also a mom.
I like to think I'm both women every day.
You're just a proud dad, like every other dad watching his little girl head off to college.
- You can segue into your education initiative. - And the California Youth Literacy Program.
It's not a stump speech. It's about my daughter.
Mr President, how do you feel about your only child going to school so far away?
Well, I could suggest moving the nation's capital to California.
Samantha, will you miss DC, and better yet, what will you miss least?
Wow. That's a tough one.
I can't tell you what I'll miss the least, but I can tell you what I will miss the most.
That is my friends and my family.
But I am excited to experience life as a normal kid having a normal college experience.
- Thank you. - The president doesn't have any more time.
Goodbye, Sam!
- This is not what I dreamed of. - We know, honey.
Next life.
Oh, God, please no "Hail to the Chief".
Game time.
Hi, Sam!
You know, hon, not too late to call Georgetown.
Live at home, free laundry...
Dad, I didn't choose a school 3,000 miles away for nothing.
- Roommate's name? - Mia Thompson. Parents, Janet and Kyle.
Both strong supporters in the polls.
I heard that.
That's odd. They were supposed to be here by now.
There are actually some people out there that don't live a minute-by-minute schedule.
How do they live?
Mia's caught in traffic. ETA is ten minutes.
She should get the good bed if she has to live with me.
- Did you check that itinerary with Liz? - For...?
Just a few small functions your father and I thought that you might enjoy attending.
Yeah... Do I have a choice?
- Sir. - Oh. Yeah.
- Honey. - Already?
Like you're not chomping at the bit for us to go.
Well, the president and the first lady, yes.
Mom and Dad, not so much.
Let's go. We've got a campaign to run.
Three, two, one.
Remember, a full load of laundry dries faster than half a load. Always take the stairs.
- Don't sweat the petty things. - Don't pet the sweaty things, either.
And your father will be here all week campaigning.
- If you need anything, call Liz. - I'll be fine.
Thank you.
You'll be great.
OK. Look at me,
at a loss for words.
Just tell me you'll miss me, Dad.
So, when the election's over, we'll spend some time together.
A whole day. 24 hours.
In a row?
Promise. Be a good kid.
Hey, Sam!
- Please be mellow. - On one condition.
Could we major in something fun? I'm really hoping we're not premed.
Light on the math.
Zip it, Bock.
And Dylan, especially you. Not another word.
Look, if you're gonna be going through my stuff, at least you could help me carry it.
Are you aware there are two individuals with stun guns and no manners flanking our door?
- You must be Mia. - And you're not Linda.
"Redhead. Paterson, New Jersey. Plays trombone."
- Surprise. I'm Samantha Mack... - You're not as tall in person.
I'm excited about this year. There's so many things I wanna do.
- No offence, Ms Mackenzie... - Samantha.
- Samantha. But I have a plan. For college. - That's great.
Look, I'm just trying to have a normal college experience, OK?
- All I want is normal, Mia. - Right.
I'm going to the housing office.
They said you were the kind of girl who was up for anything.
I'm disappointed.
- You're manipulating me. - Yes.
It's kinda working.
Please, Mia, just give it a shot.
That's all I'm asking.
Well, the situation could have its advantages.
Absolutely. In case of a national emergency, guess who gets the free seat on the chopper?
- Your secret service could get us beer. - You can forget about that.
We'll work on it.
Mia Thompson. Arkansas royalty.
- I didn't know they had royalty in Arkansas. - Course we do. My dad's a king.
I mean, he's had a few queens since my mom, but...
You know. Tire King. Best seller of the South.
Cool. This is Bock. Dylan's outside. They're protecting us.
Could that involve tackling me? Cos the bald one's a little sexy.
And you can forget about that, too.
Yeah. Look.
Bonus points for giving me the good bed. I like you already.
But just to let you know, don't kiss my ass, cos I certainly won't be kissing yours.
Mia, I like you already.
It's our first day. I'm trying to have fun.
Why don't you change clothes? We can hang out, go to some parties, meet some guys...
My night's scheduled already. I thought I looked OK. No?
Oh, yeah. Sure. If you're trying to hang out with the dean.
Ms Mackenzie, I speak for the entire faculty when I say, "Welcome to Redmond."
And I assure you that you'll be treated just like any student
just the minute we conclude this elaborate party in your honour.
...in the sense that they would support preferred policy.
Of course, the fundamental importance of agenda control was established by McKelvey
irrespective of implications for the final outcome.
In fact, one of his most notable papers showed
that the one person, one vote system of voting
did not always lead to a middle ground in decision-making.
The manipulation of agenda could have a greater impact on policy-making
than many people are aware of.
- You missed a great party. - Sorry about that.
I can provide you with another normal college experience,
in which the roommate kicks you out in the name of truly higher education.
- Can I just get my...? - Come back in two.
Minutes?
Hours.
We'll follow the first daughter through her entire...
Did you see Sam arrive at college? I'm not saying she dresses badly,
but apparently Goodwill donated some clothes...
With guaranteed results...
- If you have ring around the toilet... - Take a look at this.
With embroidery on the sleeves, with embroidery around the neck,
with a front closure.
It's very beautifully done. Soft, all lined.
Look at that embroidery around the shoulder.
It has a slight shoulder pad and a Mandarin neckline.
This works great with our tank top. It works...
Taylor to the right. He's got a hole. And he's clear through to the 45-yard line.
He's still going. He's pushing forward...
Samantha Mackenzie? Greetings.
The Redmond Lambda Zeta Phi is pleased to invite you to our annual plunge.
- It's invitation-only. - Bathing suits mandatory.
Bikinis are preferred.
- Thanks a lot, guys. - We hope to see you there, Ms Mackenzie.
Thank you. Thank you.
How do you look in a bikini, Bock?
"They had already poured the sum total of their knowledge into his waiting vessel."
"And the vessel was not full. His intellect was not satisfied."
"His soul was not at peace."
"His heart was not still."
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I shall do my best to see to it that your intellect is satisfied,
and your soul is at peace,
and your vessel is filled this semester.
For starters, would it be possible to shift your attention to me?
I know I'm not as pretty, but come on. Work with me.
- Excuse me, Professor. - Yes.
I didn't see anything in the syllabus about a vessel.
- Excuse me? - I see the books that I'm supposed to buy,
but I don't see any mention about a vessel of any kind.
You said you were gonna fill one?
Right?
I did say that. Thank you for pointing that out.
Very literal interpretation. Thank you very much.
"He had one single goal:
to become empty of thirst..."
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I wanted to thank you for rescuing me in there.
It was nothing.
Besides, you don't strike me as the kind of person who needs rescuing.
I'm Samantha.
I know. I'm taller in person.
Fatter, thinner, fill in the blank. I get that.
Actually, I was gonna say you look exactly like I thought you would.
Bye, Samantha.
- We're moving. - Not bad, Ms Mackenzie.
You really shouldn't objectify men like that, Mia.
- The boy is fine. - Hi, Samantha.
Nice meeting you, too.
Hello.
Just to be clear, I've never been a plus one before. And it doesn't agree with me.
Thanks for coming, Mia.
I cannot believe how many cute guys there are here.
The last time I was at a party like this, I could only fill out a ruffled bikini.
Focus, Sam. We are at a frat party.
You're right.
This is fantastic.
I think I'm blending in, too.
Absolutely. Is there any way that your fake Men in Black boys can back off?
All right. I'm going to show you how to make a real entrance.
Whoo!
Hail to the chief we have chosen for the nation
Hail to the chief! We salute him one and all
Hail to the chief as we pledge cooperation
In proud fulfilment of a great, noble call
Hail to the chief we have chosen for the nation
Hail to the chief! We salute him one and all
Hail to the chief as we pledge cooperation
In proud fulfilment of a great, noble call
Don't mind me.
Gun! Gun! Gun! Gun!
I got you, Sam.
- You're gonna be all right. - Take her to the campaign office.
Lucky Charm secure.
- It's just a water gun, man. - Shut up! Don't move.
California Headquarters.
I'm sorry. I'd have more on, but I wasn't exactly given time to get my stuff.
- I guess she likes California. - Look. I gotta go. Wow!
- Don't say he's busy. I need to talk to him. - You look great. What's going on?
He has too many secret service following me. I can't take it.
Sam, it's an election year. Tensions are high. Just take a deep breath and let me handle it.
OK? Calm down. I'll see if he has a minute.
- ..create my own forum. - Mr President.
Your daughter's asking for reduced security at college. She's very unhappy, sir.
Can this wait?
- We'll invite the press... - It's not a good time.
Fine. Just tell him I'll ditch college and become a Hooters Girl.
Good benefits, I hear.
- Sir. - Yes, Liz.
There is a precedent for reduced security. Cut back from four agents to two per shift.
Keep detail on the floor, but not stationed at the room. Sir, she's miserable.
OK.
I'll be right back.
Man.
I came this close to wearing that exact bikini today.
Dad, if you want your daughter to have any friends, we need to make some changes.
Yeah. Well, I don't negotiate with people in swimwear. Come here.
Chelsea's secret service at Stanford backed off.
- They blended in. They wore Birkenstocks. - Sam, I want you to listen to me.
A navy blue suit with Birkenstocks is a really bad look.
That was another time. This is a real different world we live in, Sam.
It is not like I'm sleeping around and getting drunk, Dad.
Come on. You were my age once.
All I'm asking for is a shred of normalcy. I can't go out and party like my friends.
No.
No, you can't.
Forget it.
Samantha.
Samantha.
- You got it. - What?
Go back to school. You're on a new diet. Secret service lite.
- Thank you. Thank you. - And have fun. Just not too much.
We got her from here.
And then there were two.
Finally.
Lunge at me. Hit me. Tackle me.
You know you wanted to. Or we could just celebrate.
I've narrowed it down to three target areas...
Maybe it's under our noses. What's going on there?
Sam, I don't think that's a party.
While Mackenzie racks up his frequent flier miles,
Samuels is right here, right now, at home.
Healthcare, education, new jobs - just a few of the things Samuels has been working on
while Mackenzie's out of the office, out of the country, taking money out of our pockets.
Next step, out of office.
Whatever!
Samantha Mackenzie, how good of you to join us.
Ladies and gentlemen, what do you say to some good old-fashioned bipartisan debate?
- Come on, Ms Mackenzie. - Get on up there.
What do you say, Samantha? Daddy's not here.
Can we hear what you have to say, or do you only do what Daddy tells you?
Another Mackenzie running away from the real issues.
- What was that? - They have the right to express their beliefs.
The freedom goes both ways. Why don't you get to speak your mind?
- Fine. You wanna know what I think? - Yeah.
My father gives a great deal of attention to his domestic agenda.
- Take his college tuition... - Blah, blah, blah. End of sound bite.
It's kinda hard to get that stuff out your head, huh?
- I know one thing that can definitely help. - What's that?
We should change. I don't wanna ruin the outfit.
You can only improve it.
Come on, Sam!
- Go on, Sam, you can do it! - Go, go, go, go, go!
- Hey, you OK? - Yes. You?
Yeah.
- I'm Sam, remember? - James.
- Hey, you guys, get out of the way! - You coming or not?
Lambda Zeta Phi!
Watch and learn!
Come on, we're going again.
Wait a minute, James.
Wait! Wait, I'm next!
"Excuse me, James. I had a really good time with you on the slide last night."
No. "Hey, James, what's your major?"
- "Hi, James. James?" - Sam, come on.
"James?"
Sam, I'm trying to sleep.
- Hello? - New York Post online.
Oh, no. I can't believe I made the Post! Mia Thompson, ladies and gentlemen.
Your father feels like he gave you an inch and you took a mile.
I completely understand. I'm...
Listen to me, Sam. You cannot pull a stunt like this again.
Look, I don't know who you're grovelling to,
but the best thing about college is you can hang up.
- Put him on. - Are you crazy? He's on fire.
Look, Liz. I'll just say, "Dad, I love you."
- "This is unfortunate, but..." - Go ahead. I'm listening.
Hi, Dad.
Listen, I'm really sorry.
What were you thinking, Sam?
I know.
Yes, that's the roommate Mia.
Just so we're clear, she's the one in the uncomfortable-looking...
- Thong. - Thong.
- Correct. - OK. Put her on.
Mr President. Mia Thompson here.
With all respect, although your diplomatic skills are top-notch,
I think you really need some serious parenting advice.
Really?
You know what, Mia? I could not agree with you more.
What?
It's great to know that my daughter is living with such a sensible young woman.
You've got that rare thing, Mia. You know what it is? It's character.
Some people have it, some people don't. You have it.
Really? Thanks.
Um, I mean, you too. That whole China thing was real good.
Yeah. I can definitely see how you do what you do.
I will.
Bye.
- He's good, isn't he? - Yeah.
- Next time, be a little easier on him. - OK.
The difference is, he's my president and he's your father.
- Not when he calls from the Oval Office. - Oval Office, Schmoval Office.
Every father's gotta learn to let go of his little girl.
And every little girl's gotta learn to let go of her father.
How do you do that, Mia?
Vote no! No Mackenzie!
Vote no! No Mackenzie! Vote no! No Mackenzie!
- Miss Mackenzie, one question. - Into your room.
How do you feel about the protesters?
Mia.
Is she in there? Mia, I need your help.
You! That's right. Come around here right now.
You can ask all the questions you want later.
You.
- This is the RA's room. - Good thing I'm the RA, then.
- What happened to Stuart? - He preferred something lower-key.
You can find him down at the C-wing if you need him.
Sorry to hear that.
So, it seems you need a place to hide out a bit.
It seems I do.
They have to leave sooner or later, right?
I have a better idea. Here.
Put this on.
And this.
Wait here for one minute.
You need a Kleenex?
Oh, no. I'm fine.
Follow my lead.
Hey, Mike, come on.
- You gonna leave her in there? - Hey, Sam, stay as long as you want.
Where is she?
You hate it, huh?
Tastes like freedom.
I should warn you, I'm a very slow eater.
- It's terrible on the system to rush. - Yeah, I can see that.
So there will be plenty of time for discussion.
Starting with the topic of you. Tell me something I don't know.
Something you don't know.
OK.
Brazil's the only country named after a tree.
Bagged lettuce that you buy in the store, they wash it in chlorine.
The parallelogram above your top lip is called the philtrum.
Five years, half a decade, is a lustrum.
Every state in the Union has a town named Springfield.
Off the vine, fruit ripens. A vegetable just rots.
- Spread your arms like this. It's your height. - Wrist to elbow is the length of your foot.
- Your ears and nose never stop... - Growing.
Right.
So I guess we're all living Pinocchios.
And you still haven't told me anything about yourself.
- Trust me, I'm not that interesting. - Ask and see what happens.
Thank you for doing all this.
Excuse me. Otherwise my husband will never believe me.
Sure.
- Your boyfriend can be in the picture, too. - He's not my boyfriend.
- You're such a beautiful young lady. - Thank you.
And I'm so glad that you grew out of that awkward stage.
And your bosom came in very nicely.
- Would you like me to take the picture? - No, no. I've got it.
Oh, that's nice. Yes. Thank you.
Really, don't feel obligated to tell me anything.
Truthfully, one quick call to the FBI or the CIA and I can get your blood type,
class picture and photos of your ex-girlfriends' homes.
So I guess you didn't find anything when you were rifling through my stuff earlier.
- We'll take it slow. What is your major? - Actuarial science.
What actually is actuarial science?
Statistics, probability and assessment of risk. More importantly, it's what my dad did.
And what his dad did, so that's what I'm gonna do.
- Samantha! - Over there.
- Across the street! - Come on.
- There they go. Come on. - Please, Sam, one shot.
Been a lot of places
Just one picture, Sam.
Here it is. OK. OK. Whoa.
Hey, look out!
I've run around the world
Samantha! Wait up!
Spent a million years smiling and saying, "How do you do?"
Hey!
Hey, is that them?
Let me be free
Take a picture of my life
You wanna swallow me up
Write down my whole life story...
- Let's do it again. - Just catch your breath.
OK. Come on.
He has a place out here, too?
The place used to be the gambling casino. He likes it there, because of the memories.
The old ancestral home, huh?
Oh, no. Mr Murdock wasn't born there, but most of his best friends were gamblers.
Oh, you know, the police used to raid it and everything.
Your face.
No, no. You're all right. The look you get.
It's like the first time I rode my bike without training wheels.
It's like you're experiencing everything for the first time.
I am.
Would you like something?
In that case, you need to try this.
- He's expecting us. - I picked you up early. We have lots of time.
- Thank you. - Enjoy it.
Undress? Jerri, wait a minute.
- What are you doing? - Chocolate must be poured over popcorn.
That way, you get that delicious salty-sweet mixture.
And a little melted chocolate. Sometimes you gotta break the rules.
You never know when you're gonna get something inspired.
Well, go on, Mackenzie. Break the rules.
If I have the strength.
Well?
It's disgusting.
I love it.
So, my mother would say, "Be nice to Mr Murdock, Georgiana..."
- Favourite board game? - Clue. Favourite season?
Congressional recess. Venus or Serena?
Both. It's a trick question. Favourite dessert?
Dinner menu Thursday. I know I'm not supposed to say this,
but back at the White House, my friend Joan makes the most sensational soufflรยฉ.
Although you haven't really tasted a blintz until you've tasted Petrovich's.
Favourite first daughter joke.
Must be hard.
It's not so bad.
No, really.
It must be hard.
Sometimes it really is.
- How do you make a tissue dance? - No idea.
Put a little boogie into it.
Come on.
How do I know this wasn't just a one-time thing? Probably wasn't even a date.
Let's find out.
"James."
"Bonfire,
Friday night."
"Be there."
"Sam."
One, two, three.
Knights!
Go, Redmond! Go, Redmond!
Go, Redmond! Knights!
Go, Redmond! Go, Redmond!
Go, Redmond!
Knights!
Redmond's in the house! Everybody clap your hands!
Get Red! Red!
Yeah, Red! Red!
I know you love a good bonfire, Dylan.
When you're having a conversation with someone, it's polite to let them get a word in.
A lot of folks, they want to know, what's that special secret to getting a victory?
Still no James?
Who was I kidding? He's not interested.
- He was just taking pity on me. - Give the guy a little leeway.
Between your dad and your Men in Black action figures, he's taken on a huge job here.
...the twelfth man, and that's all you people.
On behalf of the Redmond Knights, I wanna thank all of you.
What we do on the field would not be possible without what you do off the field.
- Are you all right? - OK, I need backup. I really like this guy.
What happened to all the ones you've been kissing?
When I really like a guy, it means I'm not gonna kiss him.
Long story short, we went to school together, and I've loved him ever since spandex was in.
I asked him to meet me here tonight, but I never thought he would.
Your offensive captain, John Young.
Give it up for big Buck Rich on defence.
Hi, Samantha.
Welcome to Redmond. Nice to meet you.
- Excuse me. It's always about you, Sam. - Mia, wait. Where you goin'?
Supposed to hang out. Hey, I'll see you later, all right?
- Mia, did you talk to her about rushing yet? - Not yet.
- Did you invite her to our party? - After what happened last time?
So, are we supposed to salute?
Hands off her personals. Only I can touch 'em.
Dude, I can't believe we're partying in, like, Dorm Room One.
"Hey, Mia, what's she like? Get to see her naked?"
"Can we all just stand in line to kiss her ass?"
I'm so sick of all things Samantha.
- Does she have a boyfriend? She's hot. - Oh, yeah.
I don't believe that's any of your business.
What's going on, Mia?
What's going on is this isn't working out.
It's too hard.
Is it that you don't like living with all of the attention?
- Or that you don't like living without it? - Excuse me?
- You're used to being the centre of things. - As a matter of fact, I am.
Naturally. Normally.
What you got going on is a whole lot of genetic limelight.
I think that you're acting really unreasonably right now.
Why don't we step outside? Maybe calm down.
I'm not counting to ten. I'm not writing up some itinerary. Let's have this out.
Say something you wanna, not what someone wrote for you. Just be you, whoever that is.
This from a woman who'll kiss anyone with lips,
but saves abstinence for the one person she really cares about?
At least I can admit I'm messed up.
You're so desperate to make everybody like you, you let people use me to get to you.
You let people use you regardless of whether I'm around, Mia.
You make that choice all of the time, so don't blame your genetically lit roommate.
And don't draw on my parents.
It's not nice.
Oh, my God.
Ready? OK.
It's hot! It's hot! It's hot...
You really shouldn't sleep in that position. It's bad for your neck.
I deserve it.
I'm the devil. See?
Oh. You are.
I wouldn't wanna be friends with me, either. Reduced security or not.
We just have to face it. My life will never be normal.
And what exactly is so bad about that?
The last time I had privacy, I was in utero.
Imagine what it's like to have your whole life picked out for you.
Imagine never being alone, and always feeling lonely.
All I ever wanted was to get my key, get in a beat-up little Volkswagen
and drive off to college.
You think I'm a silly, spoilt kid completely devoid of gratitude.
I think I completely understand what you're going through.
- You do? - This one time, I won the class spelling bee.
I couldn't get from A to B without people watching every move.
I had to avoid the press, the paparazzi...
And the women. My God, the women, Sam.
The training bras left in my locker could fill the support needs of an entire country.
So, listen, about last night...
You're my RA.
It's forbidden. I get it.
- It's actually not just the RA thing. - Oh. The other thing.
Most guys have to meet the dad. My dates have to charm the commander in chief.
Note to fathers worldwide:
in order to keep your daughters from getting any action, become the president.
You were hoping to get some action?
You need some air? I think I could use a little air.
I'll just go get changed.
- I got your shoes. Let's go. - Thank you.
My dad used to take me to a spot like this.
He would always say the world was a tough place,
and that you needed total self-reliance to survive it.
He must be proud of you.
If he was, he definitely wouldn't say so.
Let's say you do please your father,
and you are completely successful and completely self-reliant,
and you know that he's proud of you.
Then what?
It's tough to imagine, right?
Because then you'd have to actually figure out what you want.
You've thought about this before, huh?
Every day of my life.
You OK? Excuse me.
Let's go back in there. How do you do that?
What's that?
When I'm with you, I'm just me.
Sam.
Not the first daughter.
- I really like it. - You're just...
So are you.
All right, then. Let's get back in there. You lead.
- You beat me. - I kicked your butt.
Thanks. Usually, people let me win.
You will never have to worry about that with me.
Thank you.
Good.
Will you show me how you did that?
Excuse me. Go one more time. Just hers.
- I like your bracelet. - Thanks. It's from my dad.
It's one charm for every continent, country and every election we won.
- It's for all of our trips together. - That's cool. Go ahead.
For your bracelet.
Just the first of all the trips you're gonna take on your own.
Well, this is my stop.
That's your room.
I like it. It's nice.
Spacious for a double.
That's exactly what I said to Mia.
- Well, I had fun. - I had fun.
All right. Well...
I guess I should...
- Me too. - Well, here.
Thank you for tonight.
Good night, Samantha.
Good night.
James.
Good night.
Night.
I know you're mad at me right now, but I kissed him.
Oh, sorry.
- I'll just... - No, Sam.
Stay.
- Really? - Yeah, really?
I really need to hang out with my roommate tonight.
You should go.
I know I'm hard to live with.
- I know you didn't wanna be my roommate. - Come with me.
- Hey. - Oh, my God.
I can't believe it, it's you. You're here in my room.
Sam, allow me to introduce you to our dormmate,
Linda, of Paterson, New Jersey.
Plays trombone. My original roommate.
Nice to meet you.
Don't move.
- Wow. - Yeah. Wow, right?
- She practises four hours a day. In her room. - Four.
Isn't that fantastic?
- Bulletproof glass is looking good right now. - Yeah, it's looking great.
Are we good? Are we all set, Liz?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
- Mia, I need you to come with me. - I knew you'd change your mind.
Whatever you say.
- Anybody up for a study break? - OK, what's going on?
Sam?
I'm kidnapping you.
Dylan.
Mr Motormouth. What's up?
- Does he say anything? Ever? - Come on, Mia.
Please, follow me.
I can't believe I'm on Air Force One. Now this is a road trip.
Well, you guys have put up with a lot from me and I wanted to do something special.
- And who might you be? - This is Charles.
He's here to assist you with anything you want.
You mean my every need? My every whim?
Absolutely.
Because I can be whimsical.
- Nice equipment. - Excuse me?
The computers.
- Can you hack into any computer? - Yes.
That means it shouldn't be too hard to raise the credit limit on my Neimans account.
Marjorie is here to help us get ready, starting with manicures.
And then, when we land, we'll find something to wear.
- James. - Hi.
Every kind of game imaginable is stacked over here. It's my dad's private collection.
You can sit down.
I hope this isn't too much.
No.
- Where are we going? - It's a surprise.
This is fine. Thank you.
- Can I get you something? - Is this country great or what?
- Hi, Vera. - Hi.
- Thank you for doing this on short notice. - I'm thrilled to do it. Come with me, ladies.
- Just a moment, please, ma'am. - James.
I have a feeling you're gonna look great in a tux.
Samantha! Samantha! Just one picture, Sam.
- Sorry we're late. - Don't be.
Sam, who's your date?
Who are you wearing?
- Sam, how about a kiss? - Sam, just a second. Over here!
- I was right. - Talk to us for just a second.
It's beautiful.
- Mia and James. - Got you. Hey, baby.
- How you doing? - Good. Hey, Mom.
Beautiful. I'm glad you're here.
Mr and Mrs President, Mia Thompson.
- The one in the thong. - Oh. Hey, Mia.
Hi.
- Mia, would you like a photo? - Oh, yeah.
- Thanks. - Dad.
- This is James Lamson, my RA and my... - Mr President. It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Pleasure to meet you, James. - And my mother.
- Mrs Mackenzie. You're lovelier in person. - Please. Call me Melanie.
Sir, John Armstrong has arrived.
- Oh. Yeah. Excuse me. - Right this way, sir.
- Mia. You look lovely tonight. - Thanks.
- We have you seated with very nice people. - Important, I hope.
Sam.
Can we go talk somewhere?
Sure.
Oh, my goodness. She's beautiful.
Yes you're lovely
With your smile so warm
And your cheek so soft...
- Place your right hand... - What?
- I'm dancing with you. - No one is dancing.
And isn't it a shame?
- Here. At my waist. - I need a minute alone with you.
And I need your left hand.
- We shouldn't do this. - Why not?
It's a free country. I don't care what he says.
Call out the National Guard. Nothing is stopping me from dancing with you tonight.
Tonight I am making my own itinerary, and it happens to feel great.
- Sam... - Go away.
OK. Never mind.
- I'm gonna spin now. - Sam...
And the way you look tonight
Lovely
Don't you ever change
Won't you please arrange it
Cos I love you
And the way you look tonight
Just the way you look tonight
We're here to have fun and have a few laughs,
and, if I'm lucky, maybe I'll get to dance with my beautiful wife.
- What do you think, Mel? - You are so lucky.
Have a good time tonight.
Hey, Sam.
Is Vanuatu really a country? Cos this boy told me he's the ambassador.
You are as beautiful as my country.
- Samantha, a few questions. This way. - Samantha.
What do you feel about your father's domestic policy? How does it affect you?
- Is your education hurt by it? - My father gives a great deal of attention to...
You know he's a fraud.
Take his college tuition tax exemption...
- Your dad's a fraud. - Yeah, he's a fraud.
- Hey, back off. - Home comes first!
There are a lot of protesters here. Have you talked to any of these people?
- Keep rolling. Stay with the shot. - Lucky Charm on her way.
Stay with me!
- What about Mia? - They'll take care of her.
Go! Go!
Lucky Charm is at location six.
Roger that. We're taking her home.
Lucky Charm secure.
- You OK? - Don't.
Was there anybody who didn't know except for me? I feel so humiliated.
Do you know that every day I get, at least,
a half a dozen threats against you? Every day.
As your father, I couldn't live with myself if something ever happened to you.
As president,
this country can't afford to have anything happen to you right now.
What could I do, Sam?
What choice did I have?
You had the choice to be honest with me.
You had the choice not to lie to me, as my father and as the president.
Oh, man.
Hon, I know you thought he was your friend.
If you want,
we can replace him.
- Won't he lose his job? - He'll be transferred from first family detail,
but no. He'll find another position.
But not the right position.
He's in line to work for me.
And, yeah, that's where most agents wanna end up.
No, he can stay.
I really hope someday you understand this.
I do.
That is what is so disappointing.
I thought I'd finally found someone who'd like me for me.
So how do you know his feelings for you aren't real?
He was just doing his job.
That's crap. He wanted you. Watch.
Go back and act like nothing happened.
Or date somebody. There's nothing a man wants more than something he can't have.
- Hey, there's Samantha. Samantha! - Hey, Sam.
- Sam. - James.
I just wanted to thank you. I crossed a line,
and you could have had me fired for that, and I just wanted to say that I appreciate it.
Hey, Sam.
Sam, I'm really sorry that I had to deceive you.
We're all living Pinocchios, right?
I'm here for my birth control appointment.
- Miss Mackenzie? - Yes.
If I could just have as many samples as possible, that'd be great.
- It's not for me. I'm making him jealous. - Of course.
- No, seriously. - No problem.
I want him to think that there's a lot of action going on.
More action. More like, spring break in Daytona kind of action.
OK.
OK. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
OK...
I'm beginning to regret the outfit choice. Who was I kidding? I can't pull this off.
- Is it even working? - You got into it, you're gonna follow through.
- Hey ladies, looking good. - You're right.
What's up?
Besides, I have a date expecting me.
- What's his name again? - Frank.
Can I speak frankly, Frank?
The life of the college student
is really growing on me.
- Furthermore, you're really growing on me. - Thanks.
- Bock from Lamson. She's wasted. - Is my date a babe or what?
Yeah, I guess so.
We're federal agents. This is illegal.
Be advised, it's my responsibility.
Let's cut the chatter.
We're moving.
Check it out.
Oh yeah!
Bring it on down here to Papa, honey
Oh, come on!
I'm so in love with you right now.
Bock, do something. This is too much.
Hey, it's not our place to get personally involved.
Sam!
Sam, get down! This is stupid.
Sam, what are you doing?
Sam, stop it! Come on!
You like that? You like that?
Put me down, James. I'm not four years old.
James, put me down. I can walk.
The thing is, you can't, so why don't you let me help you?
Why should I trust you?
You lied to me. You made me like you. Why are you a secret-service agent?
Honestly, I'm just trying to get through this and do my job.
- Which, by the way, you're making difficult. - Oh. Really?
Why are you doing this, Sam?
This isn't you.
This is me, James. Me without you.
- What was that? - I was just saying good night.
- What is this? Some kind of game to you? - No.
- You don't have to pretend any more. - You're an amazing girl.
Would you stop it? Just stop lying to me.
What could I have given you? I don't have anything. You're the president's daughter.
I've spent almost my entire life
with people smiling at me, and laughing at my jokes,
and telling me how special I am and how great I am,
and how nice and smart.
And right now I don't know if any of that was true.
Maybe it was all some kind of an act.
I don't know.
What if I was different?
What if I was just like everybody else, James?
How would you feel about me then?
- You just don't get it. Things aren't different. - What if they were?
I think you owe me at least this.
Forget image,
forget politics, forget...
forget everything else but who I am right now, in here.
If things were different.
If things were different,
I'd still follow you around all the time.
Because I wanted to,
not because I had to.
Good night, Sam.
She's not up yet.
She's not here.
Hello, you have reached Moviefone.
If you know the name of the movie you'd like to watch, stay on the line.
- Sorry about all the calls. - Don't worry about it.
You know, you are quite the photogenic young lady.
I would kill for your ass.
And Frankie likes it a lot.
Take a number, buddy. Oh.
Hey, Liz.
You're gonna have to take this one.
- Hi. - Sam, your father is extremely disappointed.
- Is there anything else we need to know? - It was just one night, Liz.
One very bad night.
I wanna know about your boyfriend.
What are you talking about? Just put him on.
- She wants to talk to you. - I don't wanna talk to her. She went too far.
- Send in the media rep. - Yes, sir.
- He doesn't wanna talk to you, Sam. - He's there now, isn't he? I can hear him.
- Really, he doesn't. Bye. - I think he's got some good ideas.
Sam.
James.
- Who are you? - I'm Agent Dryer, ma'am.
Mr Lamson is no longer on this detail.
So, what does it mean?
Anyone?
Anyone?
At the end of the day, the prince is what?
Just a prince.
Go on.
It didn't matter how much he trusted
or gave of himself or his possessions.
At the end of the day, the prince is, and will always be,
just a prince.
He'll always be different.
After Samantha's table dance, embarrassment surrounds the White House.
Let's go live to Jeff as he tells us about her alleged affair.
The White House has no comment about a brawl involving Samantha.
Nor do they have anything to say about her relationship with her secret-service agent.
Reporting live...
What are you doing here?
The question on my mind, Samantha, is what have you been doing here?
There's been a three-point drop in the polls since your little table dance.
- Was I that bad? - You know we are in the race of our lives.
We were elected to set an example.
They expect more of us.
That's the life we've chosen.
I didn't choose anything, Mom.
And I didn't run for anything. Nobody elected me, remember?
Like it or not, chosen or not,
you are the daughter of the president of the United States.
Your father and I need you. Now.
We need to be the first family.
You want me to leave school?
When President Harding was elected,
Florence Harding said, "Warren, I got you the presidency."
"Now what are you gonna do with it?"
So let's get your father the presidency. Again.
See what he does with it.
It's his time.
You're asking me to join the campaign.
I'm not asking.
Good evening, Miss.
I guess you heard Samantha's raising money for her dad's re-election one dollar at a time.
Yes. That's the big story.
Here's the best part. The agent who knocked out the guy where she was stripping?
Turns out that agent is her boyfriend.
With the help and hard work of people like you we can win this. Thank you, Motor City.
Mackenzie! Mackenzie! Mackenzie!
Mackenzie! Mackenzie! Mackenzie!
We're here to discuss your proposed disciplinary action.
Your record is exceptional, but looking at this I doubt your ability to continue as an agent.
- I understand. - So why should you continue as an agent?
- My father was an agent, and my grandfather. - But they're not under review here. You are.
If you had a different father or grandfather, you wouldn't have this opportunity.
You know, as a little kid,
I always dreamt about standing on the sidelines of history, protecting others.
Maybe even the president himself.
Well,
I had the opportunity to protect a pretty remarkable person...
Do you have anything to say to defend your actions?
You trained me to expect the unexpected, and I tried not to feel anything.
I tried to keep my distance, but I...
fell deeper.
And deeper.
If having those feelings means losing my job,
then that's a loss I am prepared to take.
You and I know that mistakes made in our line of work could mean someone's life.
I'm sorry.
You'll be on suspension pending your removal.
And you should start to think about other alternatives.
- ...his sense of humour, his charisma... - Did we confirm these numbers?
And did she sign for them?
- That's why we chose this venue. - ..New Hampshire...
We're not in New Hampshire any more. These people wanna hear about foreign markets.
- Hey. How are you doing? - Good.
You OK?
Sam.
You're unhappy. I get it.
But if you're gonna be here, be here.
Because there's a lot at stake and I really need you to act like a grown-up right now.
Obviously I understand there is a lot at stake, Dad.
I have been standing by your side, with Mom, my entire life.
That's why I came home.
You don't have to tell me how important it is to be with the people you love. I am here.
If you want me to be a grown-up then you have to allow it.
What's going on with Sam?
What is it?
Remember when she was little,
she found that frog and we wouldn't let her keep it and she got that really stubborn little...
- unbelievably cute look on her face? - Yes.
She just made that face again.
Man, here I am, about to go on stage,
and she puts her old man in his place.
- Really? - Yeah, really.
And?
And...
- I don't know. Good for her. - It's time to go, Mr President.
Ready?
Let's go.
As for our president, he'll do to this country what she's done to her family.
Embarrass it.
We've just taken direct hits on the domestic agenda,
and it's the last push before the election.
- I don't think we should address it. - What do you think, Sam?
- I don't really have an opinion, Dad. - Really?
Are you sure?
Well...
I don't know what could be more important than home.
Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States.
Thanks.
- Mr President. - Afternoon, folks.
Thought you might want a snack.
Made it myself.
Dad.
OK, I had that cake made myself.
How are you doing?
- Dad? - Yeah.
I need you to make sure that James is OK.
He's a good agent.
- I'll see what I can do. - Thank you.
Did you love him?
I loved who I got to be with him.
Even though I didn't do anything amazing,
for me it was.
I felt like I knew myself for the first time.
Love?
That too.
That's what I thought.
And re-elected to a second term, President John Mackenzie.
Thank you very much. God bless the USA.
We love you, Mac!
Recently, this really fine young woman
pointed out to me the importance of home.
And for the next four years,
this administration is going to find its way back there.
Starting now. Thank you.
It's your time.
- The next dance is for you and me. - OK.
What do you think of your father's policies now?
I have my own policies to think about.
Someday
When I'm awfully low
- That was a nice speech. - Thanks.
Just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight
Dad?
One thing you always taught me was to make sure that I'm always at home,
no matter what anyone else thinks.
It has to include you.
Just the way you look tonight
With each word
Your tenderness grows
Tearing my fears apart
You're lovely, so lovely
You're lovely, so lovely
- We all deserve a second chance. - It's OK.
Give me your left hand.
- What are you doing? - Dancing with you.
On my shoulder.
We shouldn't. We can't.
Try not to lead this time, OK?
With each word
Your tenderness grows
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh
That wrinkles your nose
Touches my foolish heart
My foolish heart
So lovely
Never ever change
Keep that breathless charm
Won't you please arrange it
Cos I love you
Just the way you look tonight
I...
believe this is yours.
It'll take you on your next trip.
Even included the cooler.
We did everything to your exact specifications.
Thank you, James.
Thank you.
Bye, Sam.
Now go try to break a few rules, huh?
You try to keep some.
- Forget something? - Yeah.
I just forgot my purse.
Take good care of him.
I will.
Just getting back on duty now.
I'm just getting off duty now.
I hear she'll be home for spring break.
Just so you know.
You ready to stand on the sidelines of history?
Yeah. You?
- POTUS moving. - Yeah.
Just make sure you don't fall in love with this one.
Once upon a time, underneath the magic of the night sky,
a brazen little girl grew up in a white house.
It wasn't until she left that house, however, that she truly found home.
Collegebound till spring, she'll be back when the cherry blossoms bloom again.
With romance in the air, James will be there.
But that's another story.
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