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[deep inhale]
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[deep exhale]
3
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[deep inhale]
4
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[deep exhale]
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In through the mouth.
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[deep inhale]
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[exhaling] Hah...
8
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I'm with you, babe.
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You're smiling too much.
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Yeah.
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[indistinct].
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[kiss]
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[whispering] Thanks, babe.
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[soft hum]
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♪curious
oscillating synths♪
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[Orna VO]
Typically in a treatment,
17
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I hear how, through
every new relationship,
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00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:56,389
there's some kind of
pattern that they repeat.
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In this case -- in the
case of a polycule...
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Hello!
21
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[Orna VO] I'm
seeing it in real time,
22
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,271
face to face, in the session.
23
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,272
We talked about one of
the first fights we ever had
24
00:01:05,355 --> 00:01:06,900
and, like, one of the
most recent fights,
25
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:07,984
and they had the same theme.
26
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,945
Josh was like, "I feel like I'm
coming over to your house a lot
27
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:12,947
more than you're
coming over to my house."
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00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,492
I get to your house and
were having this really
29
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:16,618
challenging...
30
00:01:16,658 --> 00:01:20,455
conversation of you
feeling like you're more
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invested than I am.
32
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I'm showing up trying to be
the most epic partner I can be
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00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,128
to you.
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00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,256
Every day, I wake up and I'm
just so excited to try and be as
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00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,925
awesome as a partner as I can.
36
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,761
Like, I n-- I was like, "Fuck!
37
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,097
I'm not getting that back."
38
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,182
She doesn't value this
relationship as much as I value
39
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:44,354
it, it's not as important or...
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00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,315
something she's as
orienting around.
41
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:52,402
I didn't orient towards
Josh in our relationship
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00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,905
in a way that
made him feel loved,
43
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:56,241
and he actually
felt neglected.
44
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:59,160
♪♪♪
45
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,079
Josh felt disappointed
that I wasn't, like,
46
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,873
thinking of him first.
47
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,333
Or maybe not even...
48
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,417
It's not even first.
49
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,253
I expected us to be,
like, Aryn first and then me,
50
00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:12,757
and then, like, acrobatics
and her business partner.
51
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,927
But I got the sense that I
was constantly competing --
52
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,221
and sometimes below
-- those things.
53
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:21,266
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
-Often times, below.
54
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,684
And...
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I was like, "Fuck!"
56
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Like, "That's brutal!"
57
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That felt brutal.
58
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:30,024
Yeah, recently, I've
tried to be so much better
59
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:34,487
at prioritizing Josh and time
and-- and making sure that he
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00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:37,406
feels loved in a way
that he feels love.
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00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,034
And-- and, like, here's
the interesting thing:
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00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:44,581
now, I wanna be less
of an epic partner.
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00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:47,500
And there are moments
where that now imbalance,
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00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,461
Aryn's like, "Uh, where's
that epic partner that was so
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00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:51,296
enthusiastic?"
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00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,339
And I'm kinda just like, "Yup.
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This is how it felt like for me.
68
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,509
It sucks."
69
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,678
[Orna] You wanna retaliate...
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00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,054
because of this resentment.
71
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:03,224
I-- I wouldn't describe it as
"retaliation" because it doesn't
72
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,351
-feel like--
-More like a lack of empathy?
73
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It's like a lack of empathy.
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00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,855
I'm just like, "Yup.
75
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:13,026
That-- it's unpleasant, I know."
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00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,987
But you have an impish look like
you're taking some pleasure
77
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:16,988
in that.
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00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,990
[Josh] No, I-- I don't think
that there's pleasure taken
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00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:19,824
-from it...
-Mm-hm.
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00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,452
I just-- I could
make it more delicate,
81
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,913
-and I don't do that.
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
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00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,164
Intentionally.
83
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:30,043
So that Aryn hurts
the way you hurt.
84
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,629
That's what it feels like.
85
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,588
And that's what he
said; he was like,
86
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,008
"Yeah, welcome to how
I felt for so long."
87
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,134
-And then I'm like--
-Yeah, but--
88
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,677
-"You suffered?"
-There's more to that.
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00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,846
-"You did-- we have--"
-Come on, there's more to that.
90
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,055
-[Aryn] Okay.
-For sure.
91
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:48,019
I suffered, and also, you repaid
me in a very negative way.
92
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,187
How so?
93
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,439
[Orna] What does that mean?
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00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,733
With everything we
talked about last night.
95
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,567
-[Orna] What are we talk--
-So, like, however you wanna
96
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,486
articulate that.
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00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,987
What are we talking about?
98
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,031
-[chuckles]
-[Josh] Go for it.
99
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,158
Um, like, okay, so
we've had, like,
100
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,827
very few boundaries with who...
101
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,871
-else we connect with...
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
102
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,456
And...
103
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:12,293
there was one person which we
had agreed upon that I shouldn't
104
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,461
connect with.
105
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,505
But then, um, through courses
that were totally against my own
106
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,048
morals,
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00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,968
me and the other
person connected.
108
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,762
[Josh] What does
that mean, "connected?"
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00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:28,101
Like, w-- we crossed boundaries
that shouldn't have been
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00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:29,269
crossed.
111
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,854
What's another term for that?
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00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,024
[Orna] Wait, what's
happening with this...
113
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,526
-inquisition?
-[Aryn] Yeah.
114
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,568
No, I think it's,
like, important.
115
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:38,945
Like, Aryn cheated on me.
116
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,571
-Okay.
-[Josh] Right?
117
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,155
Mm-hm.
118
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,949
And, like, that's what happened.
119
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,284
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
-Right?
120
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:48,871
And so when I say, like, "Now
Aryn is being more attentive
121
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,290
-than usual..."
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
122
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:53,501
It was because of this incident
that almost destroyed our
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00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,003
relationship.
124
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,213
I was like, "I fucked up,"
125
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,842
and I wanted to
make sure that...
126
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,803
this-- well, first of all,
that it didn't continue,
127
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,180
and also, I wanted to make
sure that Josh knew that he was
128
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,056
important to me,
129
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,559
and the most important
person in my life.
130
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:10,935
So...
131
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,395
-I was--
-And also, I also just wanna say
132
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,481
that, like, it also speaks a lot
to who Aryn is to be able to
133
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,816
hold that in this space.
134
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,736
So I just wanna, like, praise
her also for your bravery in
135
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,321
being able to,
like, talk about this,
136
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,197
-and I forgive you for it...
-[Aryn, softly] Thank you.
137
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,283
-And I love you...
-Mm-hm.
138
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,451
Um...
139
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,746
and it's super
brave to be able to...
140
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,581
share about it in this setting.
141
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,417
Yeah, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
142
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:38,755
He's attempting to
address this kind of...
143
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,673
injured, hungry...
144
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,052
-Neglected.
-[Orna] Neglected self by...
145
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,762
-[both] Adding.
-Adding, yeah, right.
146
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,847
-[Orna] By cumulatively, like...
-Yeah.
147
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,098
Adding lovers...
148
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,224
-Adding but repeating...
-[Orna] Yeah.
149
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,894
-As psychoanalysis teaches.
-[chuckling] Right.
150
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:56,731
He relates to each of
them as he is the...
151
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,399
-the injured party...
-Mm-hm.
152
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:01,527
Litigating over and over
again the one thing --
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00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:02,612
"You're forgetting me."
154
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:06,949
Yeah, so kind of a consistent
thing I'm doing with Josh --
155
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,619
which I'm not sure
he likes me for...
156
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:10,620
Yeah.
157
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:13,831
[Orna] Is speak to him about...
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00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:18,836
containing this, like, very
powerful need that he has...
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00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,130
-Yeah.
-[Orna] And not...
160
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:24,467
-taking it from--
-Foisting it on-- on his lovers.
161
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,510
[Orna] Exactly.
162
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:29,222
And then trying to actually
see who his partners are.
163
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,266
[Josh VO] Here's another
really good example, right?
164
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,560
Lorena has been
working on planning things.
165
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,313
I'm like, "Lorena, how do we
really get to a place where I
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00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,441
can trust that we can have a
future where something's planned
167
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,068
out in the future?"
168
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,780
And in that fight -- in that
frustration -- Lorena goes,
169
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,031
"No, no, no, no!
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00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,199
I've planned something!
171
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,493
I've planned something
for the end of this month.
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00:06:50,534 --> 00:06:54,163
It's for Company XIV, we're
gonna go see this show"...
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00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,582
she's done this with
another partner but,
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00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,626
you know, we're gonna
have our own experience,
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00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,377
it's gonna be great.
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00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,254
And I was like, "Oh, shit!
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00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,881
Lorena...okay!
178
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:05,758
Fuck yes."
179
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:10,888
Fast-forward to the end of the
month and we're out to dinner,
180
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,266
and during the
dinner, I'm like,
181
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:17,812
"Aren't we supposed to be at
some thing that you planned?"
182
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,817
And Lorena-- the thing that was
symbolically supposed to be the
183
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,611
example of repair...
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00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,281
she ended up never
following through on.
185
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,490
Mm-hm.
186
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,284
So, okay, so...
187
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:35,580
say something from your end.
188
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,584
Yeah, I...
189
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,794
[chuckles]
190
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,006
was gonna buy the tickets,
did not buy the tickets in time
191
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,508
because I had a coupon
that ended up expiring,
192
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,219
and I got nervous about the
amount of money it was going to
193
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,389
cost to go to the
show because I...
194
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,183
am on a different
budget right now.
195
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:59,437
And then it just, like, became a
huge thing because I didn't just
196
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,814
deal with it
head-on because I was...
197
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,150
nervous and embarrassed.
198
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,611
Lorena, I don't care
about Company XIV.
199
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,362
-I kn-- I know but--
-I care about planning things
200
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,989
-with you--
-I care about planning things
201
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:10,865
with you too.
202
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:14,660
We could've fuckin'
bought a cupcake at...
203
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:18,331
some random place and, like,
literally sat in the park!
204
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:22,001
But the thing that I crave
is just to be able to, like--
205
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,963
But you're now talking
about your own cravings.
206
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,466
I think it would be good for
you to also listen to what's
207
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:32,010
happening on the other side
so you'll understand more.
208
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,638
[Josh] Yeah.
209
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:38,558
I think, in
particular, it felt very...
210
00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:42,730
charged just 'cause we had
such a huge rupture around the
211
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:43,813
planning ahead.
212
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:47,318
And I had been, like,
literally trying to do that,
213
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,655
and it just felt
like it was all just...
214
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,615
like, just falling apart.
215
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,910
I can totally
imagine that situation.
216
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,745
-Mm-hm, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-[Orna] Yeah.
217
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,330
I can definitely
imagine that situation.
218
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,081
[Orna] Yeah.
219
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,501
-So I wanna make a suggestion.
-[Josh] Yeah.
220
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,964
[Orna] Why don't you hold
some of your feelings...
221
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,382
Mm-hm.
222
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:12,134
And make space to actually...
223
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,594
listen?
224
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,472
I understand the
frustration you're sitting with,
225
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:19,767
but I think part of what's going
on is you're not letting new
226
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,978
information in.
227
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,689
Hold your feelings.
228
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,691
So...
229
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,317
ho-- okay.
230
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,444
Like, I think
that's, like, fair...
231
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,738
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
-Right?
232
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,785
And also, these are
really important moments.
233
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:38,786
[Orna] Mm-hm.
234
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,329
-[Josh] I don't--
-But is it more important for
235
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,832
you to express
what's upsetting you,
236
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:46,085
or to understand
what's going on?
237
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,924
I mean, it's important to
understand what's going on.
238
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,677
-[Orna] So then...
-For sure.
239
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,846
Then hold your horses.
240
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,556
I just feel like
I've tried that.
241
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,141
I've tried that
and I've tried--
242
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,434
[Orna] It's not...
243
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,728
It's a never-ending
"hold your horses,"
244
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,271
it's not...
245
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,689
a "tried and..."
246
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,401
That's how one listens.
247
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:16,907
♪upbeat indie rock♪
248
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,205
♪Baby♪
249
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:27,126
♪I really think you're cool♪
250
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:30,630
♪Will you teach me?♪
251
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:34,967
♪I wanna be like you♪
252
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,345
♪Stand up tall♪
253
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:41,015
♪Never let 'em mess
with what you are♪
254
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:45,478
♪Sorry that I'm blessed
it's not my fault♪
255
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:58,699
What are the two of
you wanting to work on?
256
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,285
I'm raising a blank right now.
[laughs]
257
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,411
[chuckles]
258
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,996
What's the blank?
259
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,082
As of right now, I don't...
260
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,501
think there are any...
261
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,878
issues that I'm really having.
262
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:14,632
There are no issues
that you wanna work on...
263
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:15,800
here.
264
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:16,717
[Rex] Right.
265
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,928
It's, like, blank for me
[chuckling] right now.
266
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,721
I don't need to
bring up anything,
267
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:25,226
I'm not angry about
anything that's happened...
268
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,813
You often say "I
don't feel angry,
269
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:32,942
I don't feel
upset, I don't feel..."
270
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:36,320
You list things you don't feel.
271
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:40,408
It's almost like the
strongest feeling you have is
272
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,535
"I don't feel."
273
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:46,497
It's very easy for me to...
274
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,790
not feel.
275
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:54,213
♪delicate piano music♪
276
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:58,259
[Orna VO] I'm a
little hesitant about
277
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,554
how to reach Rex.
278
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,890
He comes across as...
279
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:08,894
disengaged, or maybe apathetic.
280
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,980
You could think about
that as repression,
281
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:15,401
and that what I'm seeing in
session is not the full picture.
282
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,486
He's figured out this way...
283
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,196
-to be blank.
-Yeah.
284
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,698
[Virginia] And so he's
retreating to blank,
285
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,533
except when you
help him a little bit.
286
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,201
Yeah.
287
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,997
There's a stereotype in Asian
culture that men are not
288
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,540
supposed to talk
about their feelings,
289
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,501
so that, alone, is,
like, a recipe for
290
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,377
disaster in a marriage,
291
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,046
and I just don't
wanna repeat, like,
292
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,131
what my mom went through.
293
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,383
Can you tell me some
more about the Asian part?
294
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,011
If you talk to, like,
someone who's a first-generation
295
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:45,681
Asian-American, they probably
came from a strict father figure
296
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:49,477
who probably didn't really talk
to you about their emotions or
297
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,562
even say "I love you."
298
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:52,730
Ever.
299
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,064
[Orna] Ever.
300
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,941
Yeah.
301
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,611
And when you say
that, how do you--
302
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:00,988
what's your feeling about it?
303
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:03,073
My feeling?
304
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:08,370
Once again, I just...
305
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,831
it just...disappears.
306
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,291
I-- I don't feel...
307
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:14,835
Well, can you try to
catch it -- just a thread --
308
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,213
even if it's just a hint?
309
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:21,759
Like, to say that
I hated him is...
310
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,970
Like, I can't even
utter the words, like,
311
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,180
-"love"...
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
312
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,682
-Like, "I love him" doesn't...
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
313
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,226
-It's not in the vocabulary.
-[Orna] Yeah.
314
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,228
It's not...in my
mind whatsoever.
315
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:33,604
[Orna] Mm-hm.
316
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:37,191
When you asked
yourself "Do I hate him?"
317
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,275
how did you feel?
318
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,903
When he was still around, I
would have wished that he was
319
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,029
-gone...
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
320
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:45,783
'Cause I was just
getting yelled at every day.
321
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,327
[Orna] So you can remember
at least those feelings --
322
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,787
some hating feelings.
323
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:50,746
Yes, yes.
324
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,581
[Orna] That's the
thread of a feeling.
325
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,083
Mm.
326
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:58,087
But my mom would always
say that he's useless,
327
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,965
blah blah, so then that just...
328
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:04,093
"Okay, that's who
he is," that's...
329
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,178
the information
feeding into me--
330
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,598
But that's over--
on top of the feeling,
331
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,392
and the feeling is...
332
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:15,354
"He's not loving me,
he's just berating me."
333
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:19,733
Right, berating, but then I
justify that with the fact that
334
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,694
he has nobody else to vent to.
335
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:22,528
[Orna] Mm-hm.
336
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,072
It's just him by himself,
and whatever--
337
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,616
I understand, and the
justifications make sense,
338
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:30,870
but in the heart
and mind of a child,
339
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:35,040
the first thing they wanna
know is "Do you love me?"
340
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:38,419
And they would always
show that they love you by,
341
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,921
you know, just...
342
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:44,425
take you out to the
park maybe once a month.
343
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,551
[Orna] Mm-hm.
344
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:49,346
And...whenever they have time.
345
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:52,182
[Orna] Where are you, Joey?
346
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:55,519
What are you thinking when
you're hearing Rex describe
347
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,854
in this way?
348
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,772
[Joey] I felt more
connected with him.
349
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,525
It's, like, something
I relate to also --
350
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:05,404
something I deeply desired
with my dad that I never got.
351
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:09,283
Can you say something about
your own relationship with your
352
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,577
father and...?
353
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,495
So, two dads.
354
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,582
Biological dad, no
relationship with;
355
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,959
I have very few memories of him.
356
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,210
What are the memories?
357
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,962
[Joey] Spending
time at his workplace.
358
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:25,758
The last encounter I had when
we separated before the divorce:
359
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,801
him giving me a business card.
360
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:28,844
A business card?
361
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,888
A business card, yes.
362
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:31,555
And--
363
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:32,973
And this is when
you're how old?
364
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,058
[Joey] Eight.
365
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:37,019
Which, I reached out later
on and it was disconnected,
366
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,355
no longer exists.
367
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,815
Then I had a stepdad
immediately after...
368
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,359
[Orna] Mm-hm.
369
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,194
My mom got divorced.
370
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:48,197
When he got mad, he was
very verbally abusive,
371
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,450
and he also was very
physically abusive to my mom.
372
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,701
[Orna] Mm-hm.
373
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:56,997
I have just really horrible
memories of him growing up in
374
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,083
elementary school and just...
375
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,377
[chuckling]
really hating my life.
376
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:03,629
Uh...
377
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,549
[voice wavering]
Yeah, it was, um...
378
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,678
I guess it was very embarrassing
'cause we lived in an apartment,
379
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,096
and every time they
would fight, like,
380
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:16,976
everything was completely
broken and shattered and...
381
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,727
it would happen over and
over again, and my mom--
382
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,270
Like he would
really lose it.
383
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,146
[Joey] Yeah.
384
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,857
I used to think, like, "Why
is this happening to me?"
385
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:28,737
But in, like, a twisted way, I
felt like he was doing his best.
386
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,573
Genuinely, there's, like, no...
387
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:34,451
resentment or
anger there, but...
388
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,496
what I think is unresolved
is now the resentment towards
389
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:38,664
my mom.
390
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,374
I'm just like, "Oh, why did
you marry him and put me through
391
00:16:40,415 --> 00:16:41,542
-this, and...?"
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
392
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:45,170
What do you think when
you're listening to Joey?
393
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:48,465
Well, her mom probably thinks
that I will do the same...
394
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,633
[Orna] Mm-hm.
395
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:54,638
To Joey, so, as a mother,
she's trying to protect her...
396
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,142
in trying to get rid of me.
397
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:04,356
♪dreamy chill music♪
398
00:17:13,781 --> 00:17:16,827
[Orna VO] There are two
major ways that the mind gets
399
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:20,998
organized around
uncomfortable material.
400
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,003
One is repression,
401
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:29,423
which is to take that
material and just shove it into
402
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,176
the unconscious
and not remember it.
403
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:35,179
♪♪♪
404
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,890
And then there's
another way, which is
405
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:40,350
splitting it to the side --
406
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:43,520
what we call dissociation.
407
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:48,108
People dissociate
in everyday life.
408
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:52,654
Like, if you're in an accident,
the mind knows how to
409
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,948
split off pain.
410
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:58,786
But then, there is the kind
of more extreme version of
411
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:03,624
dissociation where the
mind really splits --
412
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,459
what we used to call
"multiple personality"
413
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,420
or "dissociative
identity disorder."
414
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:11,048
♪music slows and warps♪
415
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:14,593
The mind can get really
creative in responding to
416
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,262
really horrible events.
417
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:24,019
Hello!
418
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,938
-Hello!
-Hello!
419
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:31,276
I think one of his
highest of his many skills
420
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,320
-is his writing.
-[Orna] Oh.
421
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,030
And so I'm like,
422
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:38,325
"We should write
a book together
423
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,870
about trauma
in a relationship."
424
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:42,621
Wow.
425
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,081
And he got really
excited, and, like,
426
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,333
he whipped out a
notebook, and he was like,
427
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,793
-"All right, let's do, like..."
-Yeah!
428
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,337
[Alexes] "From which
perspective," blah blah blah.
429
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,005
And then...
430
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,799
-[chuckling] it turned.
-[Casimar] Yeah.
431
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,301
[Alexes] And I got really upset.
432
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:57,553
Um...
433
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,264
his ADHD came up,
and I was like,
434
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:02,891
"I don't think that should
be a whole, like, section,
435
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:03,767
I think that's..."
436
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,102
And he was like,
"Well, this is, like,
437
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,520
authentic to me,"
and I was like,
438
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,730
"And I think you
should be authentic to you,
439
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:12,317
but it shouldn't have its own
section because this should be,
440
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,862
like, specifically
centered around trauma."
441
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:18,031
But then, all of a sudden, like,
he wasn't interested anymore.
442
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:21,201
And I'm like,
"Because I disagreed with...
443
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,452
this one part?"
444
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,497
You know, like, probably,
like, 30 minutes pass or an hour
445
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,792
passes, and then he
said, "You're still mad?"
446
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,460
And I was just
like, "That's it."
447
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:34,798
I was just like, "I wanna burn
the whole world to the ground."
448
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,428
Yeah, he wasn't in the
most control of his emotions,
449
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,222
and they were just
kind of, you know,
450
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,892
whatever he was saying,
he was just saying it,
451
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,435
there was no filter.
452
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,811
Well, I dissociated.
453
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,522
-[Orna] What--
-During the conversation.
454
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,774
During that
conversation, you dissociated?
455
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:54,234
[Alexes] Yeah.
456
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,279
Where did you go, and
what were you saying?
457
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,822
I don't know, but...
458
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,574
There was a part of
the night that, like,
459
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,534
I was just scared.
460
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:03,243
What happened?
461
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,995
I hear him coming
down the stairs,
462
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:07,247
so I run to the bathroom.
463
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,958
And he's, like, talking at me...
464
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,252
-while I'm sitting--
-[Orna] Saying?
465
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,380
Saying, like, I
will never get it,
466
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:18,550
like, I'm selfish, "This is
why your sister doesn't tell you
467
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,637
stuff, this is why, like, your
relationship with your mom is so
468
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,639
messed up," like...
469
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,182
the meanest things.
470
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,183
Mm-hm.
471
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,311
Because, at this
point, I'm in the corner,
472
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:32,648
I'm sitting in the
bathroom cowering,
473
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,817
and I'm like, "I
just wanna be here.
474
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,112
Just-- just walk away, please!"
475
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,573
So he must have had my glasses
somewhere and he broke my
476
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,284
glasses, and then leaves.
477
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:45,744
And I'm like,
478
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:50,707
"How much more understanding
am I supposed to be?
479
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,459
When does this
cross the line..."
480
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,711
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
-"Of, like,
481
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:59,341
your being a survivor and this
being a traumatic episode,
482
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,385
and this just
being abusive?"
483
00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:02,970
[Orna] Mm-hm.
484
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:08,267
Can I ask you, Alexes, what do
you remember of all of this?
485
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:12,104
Uh...
486
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,693
Uh, I remember, like,
when we were sitting,
487
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,778
um, on the table.
488
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,947
Um...
489
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,909
and I feel like
I remember hail,
490
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,161
-or, like, rain or something.
-Yeah.
491
00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:30,831
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
-[Alexes] Um...
492
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:34,793
But, for example, the
scene in the bathroom?
493
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,796
-Mm-mm.
-[Orna] Nothing?
494
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:43,593
Do you know who
you're switching into?
495
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:46,263
[Alexes] I just say,
like, "my dissociative self."
496
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:48,181
Like, uh...
497
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:51,643
a part-- like, towards
the end of my abuse...
498
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,021
-Mm-hm.
-[Alexes] Um...
499
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:56,481
where I would...
500
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:59,776
kind of stop my mom
from the physical abuse..
501
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,737
-Mm-hm.
-[Alexes] Um...
502
00:22:01,778 --> 00:22:03,363
and it was probably
just, like, one year,
503
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:07,117
but that year was when
then I left the house...
504
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,369
-[Orna] Yeah.
-Um...
505
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,621
You know, in
those moments,
506
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,041
it's not just,
like, him, the adult
507
00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:17,669
who's gone through it
and processed some parts.
508
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,921
At this point
now, it's, like,
509
00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:22,257
Little Alexes,
510
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,885
-who needs to speak.
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
511
00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:26,928
So he's very vocal.
512
00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:29,014
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
-[Casimar] And...
513
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:33,977
if you say anything that is--
that feels like opposition...
514
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,062
[Orna] Mm-hm.
515
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:36,897
He's going to speak.
516
00:22:36,938 --> 00:22:37,898
[inhales deeply]
517
00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:40,192
So an important...
518
00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:42,110
-self...
-[Alexes] Um...
519
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,488
in your development,
520
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:48,033
someone that managed
to change things...
521
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:48,825
Yeah, I mean--
522
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,285
[Orna] And pull
you out of something.
523
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,870
The only time that I...
Yeah.
524
00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,580
[Orna] Yeah.
525
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:58,502
And do you have contact
with that part of you?
526
00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:01,671
No.
527
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:03,590
I don't mean-- I don't...
528
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,258
What do you mean by "contact?"
529
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:08,637
Contact like can you
speak to that part of you,
530
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:11,515
make some
agreements with that part?
531
00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:13,600
Can you...?
532
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:16,186
I mean, I don't
have the ability, really,
533
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,688
but I think I
have successfully --
534
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:22,567
on, like, one or two
occasions -- kind of, like...
535
00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:24,528
tricked...that part, you know?
536
00:23:24,611 --> 00:23:25,570
[Orna] Mm-hm.
537
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:28,407
Do you know, if Casimar
says anything in particular,
538
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:32,702
can that part calm down or
can he bring back other sides
539
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,371
of you?
540
00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:37,290
I mean, there was one time...
541
00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:40,710
like, you told me
that I kept switching.
542
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:41,628
Yeah.
543
00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:42,796
'Cause he's, like,
anger, you know?
544
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:43,839
[Orna] Mm-hm.
545
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,882
And then there's,
like, the sad...
546
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:47,426
-That's the little one.
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
547
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,387
Yeah, it's almost
like stages of grief...
548
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,888
-[Orna] Mm-hm.
-That's it's, like--
549
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,849
it's this anger,
then it's this sadness,
550
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,475
then this, like,
burst of joy,
551
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:56,977
then back to sad.
552
00:23:57,018 --> 00:23:58,562
[Orna] Mm-hm.
553
00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:01,648
One of the ways that trauma
operates is that there is, like,
554
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:04,484
some kind of
sense of danger...
555
00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:07,779
that has to be put somewhere.
556
00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:08,905
Right?
557
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,658
And part of what happens between
intimate partners is your
558
00:24:11,741 --> 00:24:15,245
closest person becomes
the dangerous object.
559
00:24:15,328 --> 00:24:16,580
[Casimar] Mm.
560
00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:19,082
Sometimes, that's why this
relationship is also extra
561
00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:22,502
scary, because I
don't wanna be that way,
562
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:23,753
first and foremost.
563
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:26,548
Sometimes, my brain
just goes to, like,
564
00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:28,133
-pulling the rug, right?
-Mm-hm.
565
00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:30,010
[Alexes] Like, "Let me get out."
566
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:31,052
[Orna] Mm-hm.
567
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:34,598
"Then, you'll be safe
and no one will hurt you,"
568
00:24:34,681 --> 00:24:36,516
you know?
569
00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:41,813
♪pensive string music♪
570
00:24:59,873 --> 00:25:02,792
[Casimar VO] You don't
remember us fighting?
571
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:05,795
I legitimately don't remember.
572
00:25:06,129 --> 00:25:11,051
[Orna VO] Casimar is in
great confusion and distress
573
00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:13,470
about how to...
574
00:25:13,553 --> 00:25:17,849
deal with Alexes' switches,
575
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,810
and with the fact that he
doesn't remember things that
576
00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:22,020
happen.
577
00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:25,524
So they can have, like, a very
intense argument or say things
578
00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:27,025
to each other,
579
00:25:27,108 --> 00:25:30,320
and Casimar will wanna go
back to it and refer to it,
580
00:25:30,403 --> 00:25:35,033
and it's gone -- it's gone
from the shared narrative.
581
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:41,248
At moments, he seems
almost in despair about that.
582
00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:43,333
[exhales deeply]
583
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,459
[sniffles]
584
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:46,253
[tearfully] He
will never know...
585
00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:48,672
[cries softly]
586
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:52,509
how hard I try.
587
00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:57,222
It hurts.
588
00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:58,848
Yeah.
589
00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:00,809
And I don't wanna give up.
590
00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:01,851
[Orna] No.
591
00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:03,186
Like...
592
00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:05,772
I don't know how to love a
survivor but I'm gonna figure
593
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:07,774
-it out.
-Mm-hm.
594
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:11,778
♪Love, can we start
at the beginning again?♪
595
00:26:11,861 --> 00:26:16,283
♪Won't you tell me
the stories all over?♪
596
00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:20,161
♪I've been feeling
older, not wiser♪
597
00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:23,748
♪I don't wanna go
just yet, just yet♪
598
00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:27,794
♪I just wanna run and
run, run, run, run, run♪
599
00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:32,257
♪I can feel the
words coming slower♪
600
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:36,303
♪And the night is
getting much closer♪
601
00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:39,931
♪I don't wanna know
just yet, just yet♪
602
00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:43,351
♪Wanna say I love you♪
603
00:26:43,685 --> 00:26:47,439
♪At our formica table♪
604
00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:51,526
♪Rewriting family fables♪
605
00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:55,071
♪To say
whatever you please♪
606
00:26:55,655 --> 00:26:59,075
♪I wanna hold your hand♪
607
00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:02,912
♪As the dark comes in♪
608
00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:07,125
♪Of all the things I miss♪
609
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:11,296
♪It's simple in the end♪
610
00:27:11,838 --> 00:27:15,467
♪And it's my
favorite picture♪
611
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:19,554
♪Frames us as all together♪
612
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:23,266
♪Just need to stay awake♪
613
00:27:23,683 --> 00:27:27,354
♪Just need you to stay♪
614
00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:45,287
♪♪♪
57207
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