Original subtitles

What is that?

That would be a car.

Is that a car?

No, the fucking girl right there. Is that a girl?

Is that a girl?

In there?

I think so.

You know what?

Pull up next door. Pull up in the parking next door.

Yeah, take a wide so you can go in.

So... What are you... What

are you eating in your car? Your lunch break?

Yeah, just grabbing a quick sandwich.

Grabbing a quick sandwich.

Oh, that's a cool little... Are you a sailor?

I am not.

Sorry, just saw your little sailor tattoo.

No, I do like this tattoo, though. Thank you.

Sorry, I'm not trying to... I don't want to interrupt your lunch break. Sorry.

We actually stopped to get some lunch, too. We were going to have a sandwich.

Here you go.

I don't know if we... Are we going to eat in the car?

Maybe we'll eat in the car. Can we sit here and join you and eat in the car?

Hey, it's a busy day, so sure, we can eat in your car as well.

Are you moving? I see some boxes.

I am not moving.

I'm job related.

Okay.

I'm sorry, can I ask you your name?

Yes, it's Abby.

Hello, Abby.

My name's Jose.

And this is Roger.

And Siskel.

Nice.

Yep. So what's with the camera? Oh, this little thing.

Yeah. Oh, well, I sort of take it everywhere. We have like a tube channel.

So I kind of like, I never like to put it down because you never know what

you're going to film. Right. So we're like always just kind of like, some of

the funniest skits we do are just spur of the moment, like random shit we think

of just.

out of nowhere right so yeah so you know i i i mean i'm not recording right

now okay yeah i'm not recording i just sort of red light so i thought no no no

i'm not i wouldn't record you without your permission of course unless it's

okay not yet are you are you not gonna

eat in front of us um

Finish it really quick and I've got some... What do you do for a living?

I'm in real estate.

Real estate. Ah, I get it. Yeah.

You're always on the go then. That's why, right? In between houses, showings.

Live out of your car.

Ah. Why can't you just sneak in? You probably have a bunch of codes you could

just walk into people's homes.

And go eat a proper... Eat a meal properly.

Might be frowned upon if the homeowner showed up.

Yeah.

Nice blouse. That color suits you good.

Thank you. I appreciate it. You might have a button loose. I don't know if...

Sorry. That one likes to pop open frequently, so thank you. I

appreciate that.

Yo, are we in?

I take a turkey sub, extra bacon, extra mayo.

I want...

A foot long.

I want a big old one with extra mail.

Are you really going to go or are you going to wait?

Me. Alright, we're going to wait. Let's see what happens here.

Hey,

it's me again.

Yes, hi.

Is that a wedding ring?

It is.

Oh, you're married.

Yes. Ah, okay. So I'm bothering you for sure then.

You're not really.

You're shit out of luck.

Siskel. What did I call you? What was your name?

Siskel. Siskel, you're shit out of luck today.

Sorry. My buddy in here, Siskel, thought you were really hot.

Tell him thank you.

She said she's not into guys like you.

Says she's married.

So tell me about your channel.

You wouldn't be a swinger by chance.

I am not.

Okay. Would your husband be a swinger?

No.

He better not.

Our channel, like I said, it's just funny shit we just get into from day to

day.

Yeah, just funny, stupid shit we get into day to day.

And that's not your job?

Yeah. Yeah, we were lucky enough to make it a job out of it, you know, make

money.

Like...

You just kind of like drive around with a whole lot of cash.

Yeah.

Yeah. A whole lot of cash.

Well,

like the best, the best, like, you know, cause you get paid off of views. Do you

know how that works?

You know?

Yeah. You get revenue from the views and subscribers and stuff.

The ones that we get a lot of views from are usually like just crazy ones where

we just pay people to do the craziest shit.

Like what we do for money, right? Like the craziest shit for money.

So people get naked for money. People like get

naked for money.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's usually all we really ask people to do is get naked, huh?

Yeah. Not very good. You go streaking.

You go streaking and get naked.

I don't remember the name of the hot word.

Oh, the hot word.

Yeah.

We have like a special word that if I say the word, he's got to like get naked

and run around the van.

Don't make me say the word.

Don't make me say the word.

Anyways, listen.

So how's the market doing? Are you doing pretty well?

It's been tough right now. Prices are really high. Yeah? There are some deals,

but... Would you like to make some money?

Um, I would.

I would love to sell a house soon.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not ready to buy a house just yet. Yeah.

But I could definitely offer you some money to do some crazy shit.

You have any special, like, talents?

I'll give you $100 so you can shove that whole... Maybe I shouldn't use shove.

That's such a strong word.

If you could swallow... Maybe that's another strong word. Maybe insert

that whole sandwich in one bite. I'll give you $100.

$200.

Enjoy it? Instead of... I mean, do you... Like, do you... Would you... You

think you could... Would you... I don't think... I don't think I could.

No?

Right?

That's okay. I just really wanted to see you kind of... This view.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's all.

I want to pay $200 just to see that view.

I'll give you $200 just to do this.

Really? Yeah. Go.

You got to turn it around, though.

Yeah, do the round end. Yeah, there you go.

Look at you.

Oh,

that's awesome.

That was easy.

There you go.

Well, thank you.

Oh, I actually started recording. I hope you don't mind.

That's okay.

So what else do you want to get into? You want to make... Look, I got $500.

$500. You show me all your tattoos.

I got some in some private area.

Perfect.

$600. Show me all your tattoos.

Sold. We'll take it.

I'll show you this one. Okay, okay. That's a wheat. Yes.

Ah, so you like wheat?

Yes. Okay.

Whole wheat?

For sure.

Whole grain? Whole wheat?

Anything else?

I have some more. I do.

Where?

I have one here.

I have one here.

And then one here. Oh, come on. We've got to see them all. 600.

That. 1,000.

You can step into our office.

That's a scary looking office.

No, it's a nice little, open the door.

We got AC.

We got AC in here. Nice open area.

Nice cut floor.

Alright, now get the fucking door out of my face.

Yeah, see there's nothing in there. We got a nice little, nice carpeting. We

got nice everything.

A thousand dollars to show us all your tattoos.

Yeah, I mean, if that's all the money you want to make.

$1,000 to show my tattoo? I think I can do that quickly, yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah. You got any appointments you're going to be?

I do, but this client is pretty difficult, and

I've already showed him like 20 houses. I don't know. 20 houses?

Yeah. Maybe he's just trying to see you.

That's what my husband said.

Maybe he's just trying to see you.

I see these videos all the time. Is it true? Like, have you ever, like, I mean,

you're married, so I guess that's never happened, but any of your co-workers

ever, like, have sex with any clients in the houses?

Not that I know of. I think that that's, like, for TV, movies, you know. Really?

Not really. So you wouldn't dare do that?

No. Even with your husband? And, like, just because you...

You have the code?

You can go in there, nice fancy house, have sex on the kitchen counter?

No, I would pass on that one. Really?

Yes. All right, you got to be a little more adventurous.

I try, but... You got to get more out of life. You should start today by just

hopping in, showing us all your tattoos and making a thousand bucks. Okay, I

will do that and just let him know I'll be... Oh, cancel him, yeah.

Say, listen, you're a waste of my time.

Call me when you're...

Call me when you're pre-approved and you're ready to pull the trigger.

Right.

Find houses yourself is what I should say, right?

Well, it depends.

What was his budget?

His budget was good, but I haven't received his pre-approval.

Ah, he's bullshitting you. He's trying to have sex with the hot real estate

agent.

Well, come on in you can leave it. Well, yeah, I just shut the door but you will

stay right here Okay, oh she's coming Oh

shit God damn it. Can you roll that window up? Yo put the lube away bro.

What the fuck?

Put the fucking lube away Oh shit You guys got the lube out and shit

Yeah, look, have a seat. Come in here. Let us roll this window up so we can

keep the hot air in.

I mean, wait.

Pull down, man.

Yeah,

you know what? We couldn't afford the rest of the seats.

We got it at a discount.

Yeah. Yeah.

We were like, how much for the van without the seats?

So that probably helped with your funds for your channel, right? Well, just more

room for us to fuck around.

How are you? I'm great.

Yeah.

So, Miss Abby.

Yes. Where are these tattoos?

So, this one's right here. Oh, look at that. Okay.

And then this one is back here.

Oh.

So those aren't bad. Well,

then this one's all the way under.

Okay,

so let's see it.

$600.

$600. I thought you said... Oh, $1,000.

Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to rip no one off. $1,000.

Why did I go to $6,000?

I did go to $1,000.

You're not wearing a bra.

I don't.

No, no, no. Come on. Let us really capture the moment.

Face towards us. Face towards us. Really open that shirt up.

Yeah, turn towards me a little bit.

Okay, let us really take it all in.

Holy crap.

That is a very large tattoo.

Yes.

Yo, turn the AC down, man. It's hot.

Oh, but remember, that's as far as it's going to go first. When it is hot, I'm

getting sweaty.

You've got to let it start rolling.

Remember the thing with the AC? Oh, we've got to drive.

Keep it.

I'll give you another hundred. We're not done looking.

We're not done looking.

Listen, we're going to circle the parking lot if you don't mind.

The AC starts to warm up if we don't, like, keep the wheels turning.

Do you mind? Like the engine? Yeah. The engine.

See, what happens is the flux capacitor, like, does it, like, initiate.

It's a continuum transfunctioner, so unfortunately it makes the AC not cool.

Okay. So everything's got to be, like, moving in cohesion.

Yeah.

Pretty much. Okay. We don't want you all sweating. I think she knows.

If she senses we're bullshitting her. Do you mind if we just drive?

Just around the parking lot?

Yeah, around the parking lot.

Okay. Just around the parking lot. So,

wow. Keep those out.

You know what? Listen.

Are you... You're not wearing a bra, which surprises me. Are you sure you

don't have sex with your clients in your houses?

I do not.

Are you wearing panties?

I am.

Okay. Yes.

Would it be crazy if I asked you, could we just see you naked and I just pay

you? Is that crazy?

It is crazy.

Yeah? Do you have, like, a happy marriage?

I do, yeah.

Yeah. All right, well, would he be okay with this?

Are you being a shitty wife right now?

Um, this would normally be something that you would think would be discussed,

but... I really wasn't expecting you guys to pull up next to me.

So would it make it okay because you're getting money, right? Like would that

obviously your husband would be like, you know what, at least you got paid for

it. That's cool, right?

I don't know. He might even, you know. You're doing what you got to do for the

family, for the household.

Right, right.

I mean, we'll definitely pay our car payments. For an extra.

500 bucks would maybe get you fully nude, huh?

I'm sure that could pay a couple bills.

Was that car paid off? Because I'm sure that was only like a $300 bill, $200

bill. Yeah, I wish it was paid off.

You know, so hey, I'll pay that car note this month.

You get naked.

Right.

Okay.

You said for get naked for...

What was that number?

500? Oh, yeah, okay.

You okay with that? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, 500.

Okay. Yeah, I'm telling you, like I said, we got a lot of money. If we don't

give it away, Uncle Sam takes it. Yeah.

We don't like Uncle Sam.

But it's a good use.

Wow. Wow.

Okay, I'll be back.

You don't have to be fast.

Take your time.

So how were you when you, you know, in your teenage years? Did you, you

know, 18, 19, 20?

Like, what were you? Were you a little crazy one? Did you party a lot?

I did have a little wild side.

Yeah? Yeah.

So how long have you been married?

For 15 years.

Holy shit. Damn. Wow. Yeah.

Are you serious? Yeah. 15 years?

Yeah. So you've only had one dick for 15 years?

Yes, I have. I don't believe you.

Right? I don't believe you.

I don't believe you. I have, yeah. I'm not going to snitch on you.

I mean, it's hard to only be with someone for that long, you know.

You can get a little Dale in the bedroom sometimes, but... What, um...

Is he Italian?

Is he... Um, he's Greek.

Greek? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So he's not black?

He's not.

Definitely not black.

All right.

So, 15 years, one dick.

Yeah. Yeah, that's boring, huh?

Um, like I said, it can get a little stale, but, I mean... Do you get, uh,

halters?

I've never asked for a hall pass.

You've never asked for a hall pass?

I have not.

You want to call him and ask for a hall pass right now?

Um... I don't know what you would say if I seriously called him. No, I mean, I

would just have to say it.

Yeah, I don't know.

So, um... Wait, I said naked, though.

Oh. Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

I have one more, uh... I was...

Letting that slide a little. I know. Okay.

Look at this girl.

So would you say that you're a horny girl?

Uh, yeah.

I would.

You ever, like, displayed your pussy?

Displayed my pussy? I have not.

Just, like, laid it out. Like, laid it out?

Like, could you show us your pussy?

Oh.

Lay it out.

Like sit back and just kind of like spread your legs.

Just a little peek, you know. Like a little peek. Oh, there you go.

Got a little advantage.

Right? Yeah.

You ever have someone... Are you a shy girl? You ever have someone just like...

Sorry, I was distracted.

Yeah, let's, uh, could you show us a little more? Show us a little...

Sit back.

Yup.

So, huh.

I don't know.

Bro, you're being creepy over there. What are you trying to do?

I mean, what?

You ever had someone jerk off to you?

You ever watch someone jerk off?

Um... Besides your... Man, you're... It's hard to talk to you because you've

been with your husband for 15 years, so... Right, yes, I have.

So look, this is what I say. Okay. You're already being a shitty wife,

right?

Let's be honest. I've probably crossed the line. Yes, you've crossed the line

already. You're butt naked in a van full of three guys.

Yes. Alright?

So...

He obviously likes what he sees.

Yes.

You're butt naked.

Let's make it worth it. Yeah, I mean.

Let's make it worth it. How about, how about I'll throw in some extra money.

We just see where it goes.

We see where this goes. Why don't we, we can start with maybe just kind of

touching it. Okay.

It'll be fun since it's been a really long time since I've... Yeah, you're

gonna probably fucking have multiple orgasms everywhere.

Gosh.

Hey.

He says hey too. This is quite the day. He says hey too.

Good night. I said he says hey too.

Oh, sir.

Oh, shit.

Couldn't resist.

You told me to touch it, but I mean... She went straight to sucking it out.

I mean, by all means, I mean, don't be shy.

This is not how I expected my afternoon to come.

Oh. Oh.

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh my god.

Oh fuck.

Oh god.

Oh my god.

Oh that cock feels good.

Oh my god. Yeah.

There you go. Arch that back.

Someone that's been married for 15 years, I have a funny suspicion that to

keep that sex life kind of active, have you ever been fucked in the ass?

It's been a while, only a couple times, but it's been years.

Really? Yeah.

Maybe just add a little more on your...

Your check today?

Maybe try to put it in your ass?

I did like it when I've done it before.

Let's try. Yeah, we can give it a try.

Jay's a nice guy. Yeah.

Want to lay her on her back?

Yeah.

Just remember, it's been like years.

Definitely start off slow, I guess.

Watch out, watch out.

Thank you.

Fuck yeah. Oh my god, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck yeah.

Oh my god, fuck yeah. Oh my god, yeah, your car is stupid.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit.

Fuck yeah!

oh my god

Put your hands on your ass. Spread your ass for me.

Keep it open.

Yes. See if she gives.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God.

You're not so good.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Put your knees down.

So what did you do you little missy?

You just had sex for money.

Some would consider that prostitution.

Yeah.

No, I did that to show you my tattoos.

Wow,

that's crazy.

So that went a little too far, I think.

Yeah, I think you kind of went over the edge a little bit.

Deprived of sex or something?

So how did that feel?

You could be honest with us.

Like, this can't be the first time you cheated on your husband.

It can't be the first time.

I seriously have not cheated.

Oh, come on. I mean, well, technically you have.

Right. Oh, God. I can't tell him.

Like, I cannot tell him this.

He would freak out. So telling him about showing my tattoos was one

thing. Yeah, I got it all on video, too, by the way.

All documented. I got it all on video.

So listen, I'll tell you what. Oh, shit.

I'll tell you what.

You give me $5,000, I won't... No, I'm just kidding.

Don't give me a heart attack. No, no.

Just joking. We would never show anyone this. This is not going to go anywhere.

Don't worry about it. Okay, good. This is just between us. I'll let you deal

with your own personal affairs.

Okay. On your own. I'm not... Snitches get stitches.

Yeah, pretty much.

Snitches... Yeah.

But... That is crazy. You are a shitty wife, by the way. Yeah, you're a piece

of work. Was it fun?

You just got fucked in the ass, girl. I had a blast.

Had a blast.

You got a blast in your face.

Yeah, that is true.

Oh, shit. Where the fuck are we? Is this Miami?

Oh, my God. We're really far from where she was.

Where did you just drive to? You just drove?

When you just drive, you just drive straight and that's it? You just keep

driving? Wait, are we by my car?

No, we're not anywhere near your car, to be honest.

But hold on, let's get our bearings together.

Can you pull over somewhere real quick so we can kind of feel where we're at?

Find a dirt parking lot to go.

Wow. Now you're a little dick drunk, huh?

Yeah, and it's a little harder to maneuver in here than I thought. Are

you sure?

Yeah, we're pretty far.

Yeah, no, no, no. We're pretty out there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does anybody have, like, GPS? No, we know how to get back. We know how to get

back. Yeah, yeah. We got GPS. Yeah.

You know how to use GPS, right?

Yeah. Okay, good.

No. I was talking to him. He knows how to use it.

Yeah?

Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, of course. Okay, good.

Just, uh, yeah.

Pretty much, yeah.

No, we gotta just pull over somewhere.

Yeah, this is crazy.

So, you should gather up your cash.

Gather up your cash.

You are a little

dirty one. So, no real estate today, huh?

Not this afternoon.

So, how much do you got there?

That was interesting.

$1,500.

Wow. $1,500?

Yeah. Oh, here.

Hold on. Let me get that. $1,500. I'm going to make it more. We got a top

there. Yeah, we should double that. Hold on a minute.

Where are we?

Yeah, I don't know where we are.

No,

no, no, no, no. You're not. You're not. Hold on one second. We had to pull over

to catch our bearings real quick. Okay. All right, let me see here. $1,500.

I'm going to go ahead and round that off to an even $3,000. How's that sound?

Sounds great, right?

$3,000, right? Yeah.

Actually, can you step out for a second?

Can you step out, Jay? I want to kind of fold the blanket up because it has all

that sex on it. I want to kind of fold the blanket up and stuff.

Yeah, here, step out. He'll step out in a second as soon as he puts his shirt

on. Just step out here. Give her her shoes.

You're going to probably need your shoes.

Give her her shoes.

You're going to probably definitely need those.

Hold on.

Let me check the door and make sure it's working properly.

Lock that.

Huh?

Yeah, we're going to take you right back to your place.

What?

Sketchy? It's kind of scary?

Wouldn't it be fucking crazy if you just got left here?

That would be crazy, right?

Stop. You guys are not. No, we would never leave a year. Well, we kind of

would because you know what? You know what?

Cheaters, this is what cheaters get.

You should never cheat on your husband, man. Poor guy's at home probably doing

something good for you. Let's get out of here. No, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck.

Oh,

wow. Another successful mission, man.

Damn it. You got our asshole.

Yeah, man.

She gave it up, man.

Yeah, you got her asshole. Look at you. What?

Is that the I just fuck some ass look? She left the money, bro.

Of course she left the money. I took the money.

I'm not giving that cheater money.

Fuck out of here, man. Bro, she's a cheater, bro.

That's what cheaters get.

Fucking the worst, bro.

Guy's probably home working hard and shit, man. Nah, he's probably like

fucking his mistress.

She's still a cheater, though.

Yeah. Pretty much.

Yeah. Two wrongs don't make a right. Yeah.

Unless it goes left.

Hey.

Lunch is on you, buddy.