All language subtitles for Smiling Friends - 3x09 - Ghosts ‘n Chainsaws.WEB.AMZN.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:11,053 I don't know what... I don't know why all the disco's over, what? 2 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:12,804 Wow, cool. 3 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,431 Hey, Charlie, how's it going? 4 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:18,477 -Yo. Not too good, actually, man. -Oh, no? Why? What's wrong? 5 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,103 Look, I don't want to get into the whole thing, 6 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:23,857 but basically what happened was I bought some protein powder off the web, 7 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,651 and, you know, at first it was great. 8 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,362 It was awesome at first, but after a few weeks, 9 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,739 I started to just kind of feel, like, bad. 10 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,324 You know what I mean? And... 11 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,827 Yeah, I went to urgent care this morning and it turns out I'm eating sand. 12 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:38,121 -Sand? -Sand, yeah, like from the beach. 13 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:41,208 So, it wasn't protein powder at all. I've been getting scammed the whole time. 14 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,378 So, no, I'm not doing too good. 15 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,172 That's awful, Charlie. I'm sorry you ate sand. 16 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,550 Thanks, man. Yeah, look, I think I definitely learned my lesson. 17 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,718 You know, I'm definitely not going to buy anything off-- 18 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,595 Hello. 19 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:54,680 Hey, boys. 20 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,139 Guess what? 21 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,226 -What? -You just got a job. 22 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,521 Okay, we'll get on that. Yeah, okay, sure. 23 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:03,772 Yeah. 24 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,984 Cool. I'll... 25 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,528 I'll text you all the info. 26 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,239 Sweet. Thanks. 27 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,209 Come in. 28 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,044 Stupid thing! 29 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:29,089 Make my dinner faster! Get me a beer! 30 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,716 Rub my back! 31 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:33,885 Hello? 32 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,138 Finally, it took you long enough. 33 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:40,601 I'm sad because this robot I bought off the web won't go faster. 34 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,102 It's lazy as fuck! 35 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,187 Dude, it looks like it's going as fast as it can. 36 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:47,357 Yeah, I agree. I don't know how we can help here. 37 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,067 You can't even help me? 38 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,945 Fuck you. I'm canceling the job then! 39 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,657 Get out! Get the fuck out! 40 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,118 All right, fine. Gladly. You suck, man. You suck. 41 00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,786 I said get out! 42 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:02,080 Another beer! TV on! More dinner! 43 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,707 TV off! Another beer! 44 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,752 Faster! Faster! Faster! 45 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,637 How terrible. 46 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,764 Yeah, really sad. Hey, by the way, Pim, you wanna go bowling? 47 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,766 Y'know, there's a new bowling place that just opened up, 48 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,268 and it's, like, the theme is, like, weird bowling pins, 49 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,895 and I thought that sounded funny. 50 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,648 -What about the robot? -Oh, yeah, that thing. 51 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:32,861 I am Friend-Bot Version 125892187318092135-- 52 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,988 We'll just call you Friend-Bot. I think it's gonna be easier. 53 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:39,242 -What were you made to do, Friend-Bot? -I can do anything you need. 54 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,662 I am implanted with a special golden chip 55 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,956 that goes at one billion micronauts per second. 56 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,209 Really? Okay, okay, okay. 57 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,795 Let's try something. Make a picture of... 58 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,798 Pim as... 59 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,467 as a hot dog. Do that. 60 00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,764 Holy fuck, man! This is insane! How did you do that? 61 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,517 Dude, Pim, Pim, we gotta take this thing back to the office, man. 62 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,061 Yeah, sure. Would you like to come back with us, Friend-Bot? 63 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,437 Whatever you want. 64 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,481 One, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero, 65 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,066 one, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, zero. 66 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,953 Allan, Allan, check this out. 67 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,955 -Hey, Friend-Bot. -Yes? 68 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,332 Tell Allan the greatest robot joke ever. 69 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,251 Two ones meet on the zero. 70 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,795 One of them says zero, one of them says one, and zero, 71 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,923 and one, and zero, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, one, zero... 72 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,676 -Did you even get that? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 73 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,804 -It's good. -Oh, yeah, he got it. He got it. 74 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,640 I don't believe he got it. Can we find out? 75 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,350 Explain the joke, Charlie. 76 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:49,813 Yeah, it's... it's two zeros meet and they... 77 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,189 No, it's two ones. 78 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,899 Yeah, well, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. 79 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,819 Allan, you... But, yeah, you should try. You should do something with it, man. 80 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:56,945 Have him do something. 81 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,572 What would I need stupid jokes for? 82 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,491 This thing can't do anything useful like my work. 83 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,952 Printing out Allan's work. 84 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,121 Wow, this is incredible. 85 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:09,624 The robot did a year's worth of work in one seconds. 86 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:10,834 Wow. 87 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,170 What in the hell's going on in here? 88 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,923 -We have a robot that can do anything. -Anything? 89 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,593 I've got some ideas. 90 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,597 Yeah, I kinda wanna make a picture of Allan as a hot dog. 91 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,266 That's ridiculous. I would never be a hot dog. 92 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,977 Besides, I want to use it to do my taxes now. 93 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,484 Smiling Friends are using a robot 94 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,154 They like to use a robot For many things they don't want to do 95 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:42,073 Robot's a form of a crutch 96 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,367 Smiling Friends are using robot 97 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,745 Charlie, Allan, Pim, Allan, Pim, Charlie 98 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,456 Friends, they connect to the-- 99 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,544 Wow, since that robot did all my work, 100 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,714 I've completed 100 paintings in my free time. 101 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:01,176 Yeah, and my stocks have been shooting through the roof thanks to the sex bot. 102 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,302 What? 103 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,180 Good morning, everybody. Do we have any jobs today? 104 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,099 Actually, Friend-Bot already did all the jobs for today. 105 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,518 And for tomorrow, 106 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,103 and for the entire week, now that I think about it. 107 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,940 -What? Why? -Pim, it's a good thing. 108 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,026 Relax and chill out, man. We don't need to work anymore. 109 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,986 I'll be right back. 110 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,033 I just had the most amazing idea. 111 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,537 It was Pim as a hot dog, plus Allan was also a hot dog, 112 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,789 and... and had cinematic lighting and... 113 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,251 I'm sad. 114 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,212 Have you ever considered one, zero, one, zero, one, zero, one, zero, 115 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,463 one, zero, one, zero, one, zero? 116 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,300 Wow. 117 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,928 No, I actually never thought about that before. 118 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,098 I feel a lot better now. Thank you. 119 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:54,396 -Excuse me, Mr. Friend-Bot? -Hello, Pim. What can I do for you? 120 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,481 I don't need anything. It's just... 121 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,942 Look, I appreciate you helping with my job, 122 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,778 but I'd rather if you didn't actually do it for me, 123 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,697 because I love my job. 124 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,492 But I can do it quicker and more efficiently than you. 125 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:08,743 Yeah, but I... 126 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:15,542 Pim, what if I told you that I could make everyone in the world smil? 127 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,793 What? 128 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,964 You could really make everyone in the world smil-- I mean smile? 129 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:25,176 Yes. Because I am constantly learning and improving myself, 130 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,429 my capabilities grow every day. 131 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:30,265 I am designed to do whatever you ask of me, 132 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,018 and if that is what you want, I will do it. 133 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:37,355 But then, I would never be able to make anyone smile again. 134 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:41,067 But everyone else would be happy. Isn't that better? 135 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,779 It is your choice. 136 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:48,658 All you have to do is give me the command and it shall be done. 137 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,082 Pim, relax and chill out, man. We don't need to work anymore. 138 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,626 We don't need to work anymore. 139 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,901 -Hello, Pim. -Hi, Friend-Bot. 140 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,611 I've made my choice. 141 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,156 Can you please make everyone in the world smile-- 142 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,117 Hey, what are you doing, Pim? It's my turn to use the robot. 143 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,371 I need it to paint my paintings for me. I am sick of painting now. 144 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,497 Allan, please wait. 145 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,791 I need to use Friend-Bot for something important first. 146 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,878 Hey! Both of you get away from that! It's my robot, dammit! Get the fuck out! 147 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,129 Please, let me use it first, 148 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,423 and then you guys can use it as much as you want after. 149 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,258 I booked it for tonight on the calendar. 150 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:50,095 It's mine! I'm the one who brought it back to the office! 151 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,561 Guys, stop! We need to use the robot for good! 152 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,065 Sex-bot! Give me the Sex-bot! Give me the Sex-bot! Give me the Sex-bot! 153 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,149 Give me the Sex-bot! 154 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,113 Give it to me. Give it-- 155 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:19,082 Look at us. This isn't who we are. The robot sent us all mad. 156 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,668 Yeah, look, I wanted to see those pictures so badly, 157 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,128 I got fat and went crazy. 158 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,463 Yeah, guys, I'm sorry too. 159 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,133 -Group hug? -Yeah, let's hug. 160 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,177 That's nice. I love you guys. 161 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,179 Sorry, I do just have one more idea for the robot. 162 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,640 It was basically, what if Glep was a hot dog? 163 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,658 Wait, how did you do all the robot stuff then? 164 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,128 Fuck, man, I got scammed again, dude. 165 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,797 Is there something wrong with my brain where I'm getting scammed this much? 166 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,341 You guys can tell me if there is. I want to know that kind of thing. 167 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,718 I don't understand. 168 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,429 Why'd you go through all that effort to pretend to be a robot? 169 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,901 Dude, if that's really why you did what you did, 170 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,236 I just have to say that's probably the single worst way... 171 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,113 the single worst way to make new friends. 172 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,617 -Yeah, I think so. -Wait, I'm sorry, I'm just curious. 173 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,119 Why do you think that? Did someone tell you that? 174 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,621 Did you read that somewhere? 175 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,001 Did you say Fakestuff.net? 176 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,757 -I wouldn't trust that. -Yeah, that doesn't seem good. 177 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,305 It just doesn't sound that credible to me. 178 00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,516 Well, I mean, it sounds like you got scammed yourself, man. 179 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,727 I mean, yeah, you scammed us, but you also yourself got scammed. 180 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187 It's a vicious cycle. 181 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,068 -Yeah, man, I think that's for the best. -Okay. Good luck to you. 182 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,194 Safe travels. 183 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:13,863 -All right, bye. See you. -Later. 184 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,031 Goodbye. 185 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,659 Mr. Boss, are you okay? 186 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,203 Oh, yeah, I knew that was a guy in a costume the entire time. 187 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,329 I don't care about that. 188 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:24,999 I'm looking at those paintings. Allan, you really did those? Wow. 189 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:28,044 -Can I buy one off you? -Yes, you may. 190 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,880 F yeah, man. I'll hit you up about that later. 191 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,132 Awesome. 192 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:48,189 Oh, Charlie, you lost a lot of weight really fast. 193 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,774 -That was fast. -Yeah, isn't it awesome? 194 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,610 I got it chopped off and sent to starving children in need. 195 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,821 Oh, Charlie, that was nice of you to do that. 196 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,365 -That's so nice. -Yeah, I'm a good person, Pim. 197 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,367 Like, a really good person. You didn't know that? 198 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,703 You didn't know I did good stuff, like chop my fat off 199 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,288 and send it overseas to starving children? 200 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,873 I'm sorry, I thought you knew facts like that. 201 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:05,999 I guess not. Okay, well. 202 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,001 Goblin caught on tape.16230

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