All language subtitles for Johnny Vegas s02e03.eng

We're open for business!

Open for business!
Open for business!

Please come in.
(LAUGHS)

NARRATOR: This time...
Oh...

...Johnny finds love
in an unusual place...

You had me at hello.

...before facing up to
some home truths.

The shop's unprepared.
It's not ready.

That's the honest truth.

Bev lets her hair down.

Ten minutes later,
you'll be sat with an ice cream. (LAUGHS)

And Vikki takes
Vintage Vegas global.

We've gone international.

Der-der-der-der!
First sale abroad.

I said good day, sir!
(LAUGHS)

Last year, after a lifetime
collecting antiques and curios...

Who doesn't want
a marzipan Indiana Jones?

The Thirsty Bear!
(THEY LAUGH)

...actor and comedian Johnny Vegas
finally took the plunge...

Oh, it's happened again!

...and fulfilled his dream
of opening his own antiques and collectibles shop.

Vintage Vegas
is opening for business.

It proved a smash hit
with customers...

You'll pay 900 for it? In your face!

...and gave Johnny confidence
in his eye for a good buy

and his ability
to sell eclectic items.

I'm a dealer.

Get me.

Now, he and lifelong friend
and assistant Bev are back...

I knew we were coming home
with a badger.

...dreaming bigger...
Will it fit in the van?

This is an absolute disaster.

...and better...

(GASPS) Look at this.

...hoping business will boom
and the shop will go from pop-up to permanent.

This time round, I don't want it to
finish when the cameras go home. (BLEATS)

With Johnny's girlfriend, Vikki,
joining the team...

You'll stretch the leather!
I'll stretch your leather in a minute.

...they're hitting the road
in search of new stock.

Hello, Mr Bond.

Hello, you creepy little chappie.

So can Johnny turn
from lifelong dreamer...

I'm a bit concerned,
opening today.

Got a price in mind.
Too low, mate.

...to full-time dealer...

That might be me naughty purchase.

You've got a deal.
He's so my boy.

...with his Little Shop of Antiques?

There we go!

Look at him,
he's back in the groove.

I'm trying to play it calm,
but I've just had a little wee. (DEALER LAUGHS)

(SHOP SIGN CREAKS)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

I hate to say goodbye,
but somebody should get some love from that.

A year into his journey,
and Johnny's business is expanding.

His partner Vikki
has been hard at work...

That's better.

...getting the Vintage Vegas
online store ready to go live for the first time.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Website.(GASPS)
Let me show you what I've done.

Yeah, okay.

So I'm really excited.

- Hello!
- So basically, this is what we're gonna dofor everything,

Like the font. A little bit
playful, but it's not Comic Sans.

- Lovely, clear shot.
- Yeah.

So we'll do a little
write-up of it with sizes.

And they've all got their own stock
numbers and then instructions on how to purchase. So, what do you think?

- Love it.
- So you're happyfor us to go with that?

Just get live on it.
Shall we go live now? Get selling. Yeah.

I'm gonna go live!

Fab! That's all I needed to hear.

We have now opened ourselves up
to the World Wide Web.

You know what I mean?
We can sell anywhere, everywhere.

Going online is a big step up
for Johnny's growing business.

We are...

proper dealers.

But the online market is different
to his usual shop trade.

We now build our reputation.

We can present higher-value items
to genuine high-end collectors.

I can afford to take a risk
on some of the more niche items.

I also want to buy stuff that proves
that I know what I'm doing.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

So with a high-end item
for the international market on the shopping list,

Johnny and assistant Bev
head off on another buying trip.

Oh, what a gorgeous day.

Wonderful day for sunstroke.
(CHUCKLES)

It's a Bank Holiday weekend,
and Britain is basking in record-breaking temperatures.

It's hot.
Oh, my God, yeah.

It's gonna be hot today.
I'm not good in heat, me.

Should have brought a hat.

I don't like the heat.
Have you got tea out of a straw?

It was put in there like that.

Gonna get scalded.

Lost the run of yourself, you,
drinking tea out of a straw.

I didn't ask for tea with a straw!
Urgh, I think it's got sugar in. Oh, no.(RETCHES)

Today, they are travelling
over a hundred miles south for some fun in the sun

at the Cirencester
Decorative Home & Salvage Show.

It's the same people
who you absolutely loved last year

and you've got some
really nice quality items, so.

Oh, aye, yeah, course.

Excited for this,
just wandering around having a mooch.

Ten minutes later,
you'll be sat with an ice cream. (LAUGHS)

Well, you know that's a given.
Or a cream scone. It's a cream scone and an ice cream kind of day for me.

But Cirencester's
like a county, innit? It's massive.

It's the capital
of the Cotswolds, apparently.

Cirencester Park is 3,000 acres
of manicured parkland

and the ancestral home
of the Earl of Bathurst.

This looks nice.
I always like these little lodges. Look at that.

Oh, what an entrance.

Is he walking
in a three-piece suit?

They're looking determined.
"We're off to get an antique bargain."

The stately surroundings

draw the trade's most serious
dealers and their very best stock.

- There is higher-end stuff here
as well. - Out of the budget.

The people who sell
know to come here and they bring all their best stuff here.

- And the best stuff
doesn't come cheap. - Yeah.

Rock and roll. Oh, well.

Right. Well, job number one:
sunscreen.

Always look after your skin.

As a human being, I'm a gift,

but you want to wrap it
as best you can.

(CHUCKLES)

Now then, Johnny.

- Factor?
Fifty. - Good.

- Rub it in properly.
I know. - Thoroughly.

Bloody 55!
(LAUGHS)

I'm not a kid at t'beach
who doesn't wanna wear it.

It's my ears.
They're like solar panels. (LAUGHS)

Protection on,

it's time for Johnny
to enter the arena.

Off to battle we go.

It's not battle, it's...
it's jousting, but fun.

Jousting.
You don't know what jousting is.

Yeah, I do. Two blokes
on a horse in knights' armour...

On one horse?
Two horses, one each.

This is why we won't get
membership to the polo club.

The high-end items
he needs to entice online interest

won't come cheap,
so getting his selection right is crucial.

Big-ticket items
stand a better chance online.

I've got to think about
my clientele.

Think what they expect.
If you're not selling, you can't be buying.

That's what most dealers
will tell you.

Johnny's plan of attack
is straightforward:

one full lap
to assess everything on offer

before buying anything big.

If I go mad and blow all my money
on t'first five stalls,

then that's it.
The budget's blown

and you just go, 'Have a think,
and by the time you've walked around,

if you can't get it
out of your mind, you'll come back.'

So, strategy in place,
Johnny gets to work,

and with more than
50 stalls to get around,

there's a lot to take in.

There's a temporary
sensory overload,

and then I get half afraid
of missing out on summat.

It's where to start.

As part of your ADHD therapy,
we're gonna take you somewhere

where there's loads of stuff
to look at

and you're easily distracted.

Look at these! Teeth!

I've been thinking of making my own.

I'm sick of paying dentist prices.

PRODUCER:

I would imagine they're enamel.
I'd have to lick 'em,

and I'm not willing to do that
on camera.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

The fair is full of experienced
and savvy traders

all hunting for deals of their own,

and they're not about
to make It easy for Johnny.

That's very nice, isn't it?
It's actually for a shop piece.

- Venetian.
- Oh, Venetian.

There's a little bit
of writing still in there.

Oh, yeah, you can see.

This antique Venetian shop front

is typical of the decorative and
architectural salvage on offer here.

And it's all at the top end
of Johnny's budget.

It's about 300.

Three hundred, that's...?
Honestly, that's trade.

Okay, mate.

All right, all right.

Let me have a think on it.
I'm not shaking. I can't shake on it.

No, I know, I'm shaking going,
I appreciate the...

I'm shaking
'cause I want a sale. (LAUGHS)

I'll get it wrapped, yeah?
(LAUGHS)

You're relentless.
I am.

He's a good salesman, in't he?

I've got a feeling
if I don't buy that off him, I'll wake up

and he'll be at the end of me bed
going, "Here y'are, delivered it an' all."

This time, at 300 quid,
it was an offer Johnny could refuse.

But the items on his maybe pile
are soon stacking up.

I like that, the Swan Soap.
What's on it?

I can do 350.

Right.

I love it.
I've just got to think on it.

- Is that all right?
- All right.

I want the quality stuff.

You just need...
need to keep doing laps.

Lovely. Are they Victorian?

What would you do for the pair?

Four-fifty for the pair.

Once again, I'm gonna have a think.
(LAUGHS)

How much is the Post Office?

DEALER:

Love that sign.

Stuff like that sells.

I am gonna pat myself on the back.

I've walked past so many signs today
that a few years ago,

they'd have all been
in the back of the van.

No, no, no. Be good.

I'm proud of myself.

So far, Johnny's
sticking to the plan.

He hasn't spent a penny all morning.

When did common sense
get in the way of just going buck wild and just buying?

While Johnny wrestles
with his more sensible approach,

Bev's having
all the fun of the fair.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, this is a gorgeous fair.

I mean, there's really high
ticket price items here.

So, you know, there's things
that are definitely gonna appeal to Johnny.

I can't wait to see
what he gets from here.

With his first lap of the fair
almost complete,

decision time is approaching
for Johnny.

I am gonna have to start
like, making my mind up and pulling the trigger

'cause I'm gonna do nine laps
and I'll end up with an egg cup.

- Oh!
- He's great, isn't he?

Oh! (GASPS)

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

He's naughty.

Well, they told us he was
in the middle of a fairground, an old fairground wheel.

I've just had a chat over there
about buyer's restraint.

After holding back all morning,

is Johnny about to be undone
by a papier mache head?

What's... what's your best on that?

Ooh, stopped me in my tracks,
that though.

It's great, isn't it?
They're the ones, ain't they?

So can I have a think on it, buddy?
Right, I'll see you in a... see you in a little while.

What's happened to me?

I've lost my trigger finger.
Can't make my mind up.

So I don't know. I don't know.

The heat has taken the excitement
of walking around somewhere like this for me.

So my energy feels low.

And yet, my admiration
for everything here is, is pfff.

I've just got to get buying.

It's a first for me
to actually tell myself off...

for not buying.

Mr Punch, he's definitely
top of the pops right now.

But will anybody see in that
what I see in it?

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Johnny is at the Cirencester trade
fair, hunting big-ticket showpieces

needed for his online shop
to give it international appeal.

No, no, no. Be good.

But after a morning spent
keeping his powder dry, he hit a wall.

It's a first for me
to actually tell myself off

for not buying.

And now he's fallen in love
with an unusual item...

Oh!

He's naughty.

...that he just can't shake.

I can't get the terrifying French
papier mache doll out my head.

But is it the wisest buy?

I suppose I gotta
make my mind up, haven't I?

What was this again?

It was 199.

I could do 150 on him.

We did have two.
We've sold the other one.

He's been on my mind
since I saw him.

One fifty is like
almost half price of what we sold the other one. Yeah?

Johnny's taken the plunge
on the first buy of the day.

Handmade papier mache
fairground pieces like this

are hugely sought after
in the French market.

I just think it's fabulous.
It's just one of them pieces that you can't quite describe.

We're in love.
We're gonna abscond.

You had me at hello.

And then he had to make it weird.

And the papier mache head

isn't the only item
that's caught Johnny's attention.

What can we do on the squirrels?

I mean, I'll ask ya...

One-twenty-five.

Stop making me buy stuff.

Yeah, go on.
Yeah? 125. Cool. Thank you.

Johnny's off the mark

with not just one, but two expensive
big-ticket items in the bag.

Look at him,
he's back in the groove!

The lad's got his mojo.

He ain't messing around anymore.

He's shaking hands.

Things are happening.

And now the spending has started,

the floodgates are open
and Johnny can't stop.

Suddenly, I've got
trade fair fever.

What was it on
the telephone sign again?

I've got 180 on it.

Do you a bit of a deal on it.

How good a deal?150.

Because I've already spent...

I'll do 150 on that, 'cause
I like the box as well. Don't know how I missed that earlier.

What would you do on both?

One-eighty?

Thank you, mate. Ta.

Johnny strikes a double deal:

a traditional French harvest basket
known as a trug,

to go alongside the original enamel
telephone sign he saw earlier.

This is my Bermuda Triangle.

Money goes missing here.

After a slow start, the trade fair
has turned into a spending bonanza.

From nought to 60.

A lot of pondering,
a lot of watching,

and then just went stir crazy.

Be madness to buy him, wouldn't it?

How much papier mache
can one man have?

- Can I try it on?
- Absolutely. - Of course you can.

Well, you see,
the beauty with this is

I can walk round and do deals
in this and they won't go,

"It's that Johnny Vegas.
He's got money to burn."

They'll go, "Isn't that
that President of France?"

For the second time today,
Johnny is swept off his feet by a papier mache bust,

which he's decided
is the spitting image of French President Emmanuel Macron.

Ooh, I like him.

He's got very bold eyes,
but a nice femininity to the lips.

How much was he again?

Very best I could do is 50.

- That's fair.
- Thank you, sir.

Done.

How often are you gonna find
a head like that?

(SINGS)
I'm in a papier mache mood.

Buying big heads
makes me feel real good.

Johnny came with a plan
to buy a few high-end items for his online shop,

but he's leaving with a vanful
and his wallet over �1200 lighter.

So I probably went
double over the budget.

But I'm still thinking
I'll get back and do the maths

and then decide
if I've been a silly boy.

Nice haul so far.

Gonna get the rest?
Yeah.

Now, remember,
lift with your legs.(LAUGHS)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Back at Dagfields,
before any of it can earn its keep,

the haul has to be priced up.

With the help of partner Vikki,

it's time to find out if Johnny's
spending spree will pay off.

- Oh, I love this.
That's lovely. - Yeah.

French wooden box, �30.

Fifty, and then take an offer.

- Oh!
- We've got the gorgeoustelephone sign.

This is beautiful.
That's gorgeous.

- That's quality.
Oh, it's double-sided. - Yeah.

You paid 150.

Oh, I want 250 on this.
Yeah.

The post office used to run
both Britain's phone network and postage until 1981,

when it was split into Royal Mail
and British Telecom.

Signs like this one
that predate that split are highly collectible.

You've got some lovely stuff
from Cirencester.

Like real, sort of like
decorative features, aren't they?

This antique butcher's block
is priced up at �275.

You have to try and create
the kind of shop that would make me go,

"We've got to go in here
and have a look."

I would go in here,
I would have a look,

and I would buy something.
Genuinely.

(GASPS)

(FRENCH ACCENT)
Hello, my old friend. Haw-haw-haw.

How was the trip over?
(FRENCH ACCENT) It was okay, thank you.

(NORMAL VOICE) How much was he?
Fifty quid.

- Oh, God, he's got to be 150,
all day long. - Yeah.

Papier mache means chewed paper.

Despite the French name,

the technique originated
in ancient China

before spreading
to Europe centuries later.

He's a handsome devil, in't he?
Oh, he's a keeper.

He's going in the window.
In the window.

If he doesn't set your stall out,
nothing does.

It's affordable,
if you want to play It's a Knockout in your garden, innit?

'Ey, were banging through this
today. Normally...

This is one of the favourite items.

Vikki and I love this.

This was my big buy of the day.

I loved it at the fair and I thought
you're coming home with that for sure.

So you paid 150 for him.
What a steal.

I've got to start pricing things
what I'd pay for them.

Feels genuine. It looks genuine.

- That should be 350.
- Okay. - And he deserves it.

Johnny set out to find
distinctive big-ticket pieces,

and despite going over-budget,
the potential profits look healthy.

It's unique. Show me another.
Yeah.

Never seen one.
Probably never will again.

It'll be hard to part with.

- I'm taking it
you want the squirrels in the stuffed animal corner?

- Oh!
- Look at them.

They're red squirrels.

There's very few left
in the country.

They're just brilliant.

So, with everything priced up,
it's time to get the shop looking its best.

That's a bargain, that,
at 50 quid, I think.

What drew you
to the sexy gnome, Johnny?

The fact that he looked like
he wanted me.(LAUGHS)

Just gonna pop outside
and see how he looks.

Yes, I'm liking that window now.

Oh, Macron's just superb.

Gloria and Macron.

I feel like she is
the one that got away.

Two star-crossed lovers.

"Hello there, Gloria.

How did the nuclear testing go?"

With the standout items
priced and displayed,

it should be time to open the shop,
but Johnny is stalling.

God, it's feeling really empty.
Really, really empty.

It's just not looking that exciting.

All the bottom shelves
are looking...

half-arsed.

We have not got enough
walk-out items.

We haven't really
got any smalls out.

Johnny and Bev came back
from Cirencester with plenty of showstoppers,

but not the small, affordable pieces
that keep a shop ticking over.

There's a big danger of looking like
you're just resting on your laurels.

People who came last week
are gonna come back,

and if they don't see enough change
in the shop and they don't see enough new stock,

they can very quickly lose interest.

I don't want to open the door,
to be quite honest.

I want to get back out,
get in the van, get more stuff, get it in there.

With the shop half empty,

Johnny has decided
not to open for business.

The shop's unprepared.

It looks unprepared.

So the door's staying shut
'til we get more stuff.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Johnny Vegas and assistant Bev
are back on the road.

Bit off the beaten track.
It is a bit, isn't it?

Or are you just driving me
to one of them places where they kill folk?(LAUGHS)

Wondered why there was
a shovel in the back.

Johnny came away from his last trip

with a haul of high-end
expensive items,

but none of the small,
affordable buys he needs to keep the till ticking over.

And what I'm learning is

I do love the antique fairs.

I absolutely love them.
Yeah.

But it's not easy to come away
with a lot of smalls.

left with a half-empty
antiques shop,

for the first time ever,
he decided not to open for business.

It's not ready.

That's the honest truth.

Oh, this definitely looks like
your type of place.

To get the shop back open,
they urgently need to find

the small, lower-cost stock
they are missing.

So they've come to
Kingfisher Farm in Leicester.

Oh, I like the look of this.

It's a treasure trove of antiques,
collectibles and salvage items.

Dead leg. Jesus!

Ooh!

That was a dramatic exit,
weren't it?

Well, it's nothing if not eclectic.
(LAUGHS)

Well, we need stock.

We've got empty shelves.

- Hiya, mate.
- Hello, young man.

You've got some nice stuff.
Lots to look at.

Paul Taylor has been running
Kingfisher Farm for eight years.

Oh, my word.

You need to look high and low,
because... Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Tonnes of stuff in here.
There's even a big burger over there.

What were you saying?
(THEY LAUGH)

Today's plan: buy in bulk,
move fast and strike a deal,

trader to trader.

If there is a deal to be done,
I'll do it with you.

There's always movement
in the price, especially if you buy a few items.

There's always
a reduction at the end.

Well, that's what I'm depending on.

- Shall we make a start?
- Yeah.

Supermarket Sweep.

We've got empty shelves to fill,
and I think Johnny can get a lot of smalls here.

(GASPS) Hoo-hoo!

Take those three, buddy.

I think I will put
a bundle of tins together

because we know that they've all...
they've sold at the shop before.

He's got so many... smalls.

- Oh!
- He's found summat else. - I have.

- Do you remember 'em
when you were a kid? - Yeah.

Profit margins on small items,
like this 1950s spinning top and these vintage tins, are slim.

So it's all about quantity.

Think we're gonna need a bigger box.

(CHUCKLES WHEEZILY)

I'm definitely having that.

But it wouldn't be
a Vintage Vegas buying trip

without a few unusual finds
along the way.

That doesn't work, does it?

Yeah, it's brand new. In the box.

A Karma Chameleon phone.

Oh, yeah,
put that in the pile, mate.

Please take a song
that I carefully crafted

and turn it into a telephone
in the shape of a chameleon.

This animatronic tribute to
Culture Club's hit "Karma Chameleon"

isn't the only character
catching Johnny's eye.

I don't know owt about
garden ornaments, but...

I just kind of like 'em.

With Johnny stocking up on smalls
as fast as he can,

back at Dagfields,
the shop is still closed.

And now it's down to Vikki
to get the new online side of the business moving.

I'm just getting high-ticket items
online.

The high-ticket items
hopefully will sell quicker online than they will people coming in.

Sometimes Johnny will walk in
from one of his buying trips

with things like this,
and my heart drops,

and I'm like, oh, God,
we'll be stuck with this now for ages.

I'm hoping somebody who collects
this kind of thing

is gonna go online,

see this huge head of Macron
and Punch and go, "They're for me. I've got to have them."

So, yeah, fingers crossed

there's some wacky person out there
who wants them.

Meanwhile, in Leicester,
the supermarket sweep is complete

and it's time to find out if Johnny
can strike a deal on a job lot.

A lot of the smalls, the tins,
if I can get them at a good price.

We're buying a fair bit
and I think I'll get a dealer's rate.

Well, we've got that down at 428
for all them bits.

So is this what you've priced up
inclusive of everything?

That's everything there, yeah.

Plus the bit of discount
I've give you as well.

- Deal done, mate.
- Thank you.

That's great, that. Thank you.
What a day.

I was in the zone today.

Everything that's
coming with me today,

I have 100% confidence
in selling in the shop.

I've got loads of smalls.

I've got some really,
really quirky items,

and I've got some beautiful art.

What's not to love about this game, eh?

Back at Dagfields,

it's time to unload
and get the new items on display

so they can finally open up
for the day's trading.

- Let's get the stock out there.
Let's get selling. - Right.

A haul of smalls.
A haul of smalls.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Spinning top, let me tell you...

You paid 15.

Er, 25.

Have you put a price
on Sketch Master?

No. You paid five for it.
Oh, 15.

Fifteen on that one.

Smalls, smalls, smalls.

Walk-out items
keep you ticking over.

The shelves are filling up,
and Johnny's favourites will take pride of place.

Oh, my God.
The fun piece of the day.

- Good Lord.
- Oh, my...�

This is your Karma Chameleon.

Karma Chameleon
fully-animated telephone.

I can't believe you got this.

Has anybody ever looked less happy
at endorsing a product

than Boy George on that picture?

When it was launched,
the novelty Karma Chameleon phone was an overnight sensation.

Over 50,000 inquiries
were made in a single day.

And nostalgia for the era means
there's still a market for them now.

Karma Chameleon, 30.

It's a bit of kitsch.

I want at least 80.

- What about your garden statues?
- Ooh!

Our first foray
into garden ornaments.

How much did you pay for them?

Thirty-five for both, you paid.
Oh, fabulous.

Er, 50 quid.

Fifty quid each, yeah?
Yeah.

Do you not mind
if I just put one out for now,

'cause I'm tempted
to keep the other.

Very satisfying
coming back from a buying trip

and seeing the shelves
fill up again...

...and the anticipation
of what might shift and what might not.

And Johnny has one more idea
up his sleeve

to complete the revamp
and get the place buzzing.

This looks like it's gonna
fall apart as soon as I... Oh, Vik....unwrap it.

A new chance for an old favourite.

It's a gorgeous bit
of honeycomb nastiness.

Johnny bought
the preserved wasps' nest for �25 a year ago.

This, er, kind of makes no sense,
but I want it.

So far, it's failed to attract
the swarm of customers Johnny had been hoping for.

Well, let's put it on the base
and put it over here under Fox and Quack Quack.

How many... how many people
does it take to move a wasps' nest? (LAUGHS)

Come on, join the club.
Try it on your head.

(LAUGHS)

It might be quirky,
but Johnny hopes its new position at the front of the shop...

(EXCLAIMS)

...will tempt a customer
to part with �75.

Look at that!

Right, er,
we haven't priced this, have we?

We haven't. You paid �10.

- Twenty-five.
Yeah. - Okay.

Can you do Morris dancing with it?

(LAUGHTER)

Slow Morris dance.

We're open for business,
open for business, open for business.

Please come in.
They'll all scatter.

(LAUGHS)

Johnny's finally ready to open,
so will it be worth the wait?

- Did we open?
- Yeah. - Hiya. Sorry.

Always the last to know.

With a steady stream
of punters through the door, just as Johnny predicted,

it's the smalls
that get the sales started.

- Five on that one.
Is it cash or card? - Card.

Yeah, yeah.
They are dead handy, aren't they, the lovely vintage tins.

I just can't resist 'em.
They're gorgeous.

Cheers, mate. Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

- Afternoon. All right? You all right?
Hiya, mate. Yeah. - All right?

We just saw this and thought...
Gotta get it, yeah.

There's a bit of vintage to 'em.
How much?

Twenty-five.
Oh, yeah, sound. Cash.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, I'll take those.

Wonderful. Great.

Johnny's decision to stock up
is paying off.

It's another validation
that, um, bought right.

Well, these are cool, aren't they?

- What's your tipple?
A bit of tequila. - A bit of tequila.

Hey. Good morning.
Sales have been good.

Think we've earned a lunch.

But while the shop has been busy,

Johnny's yet to shift
a single big-ticket item,

and the biggest gamble of the week
has been completely ignored.

Nobody has shown the slightest
bit of interest in that head.

But Johnny's keeping the faith.

I am absolutely 100% positive

that will shift

as soon as
overseas buyers see it.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

After empty shelves forced Johnny
to shut up shop,

the doors are open again
for the first time this week.

I love it.
Yeah, thank you.

Are you all right with that?

It's just beautiful, innit?
Yeah, it's gorgeous.

Pride of place that'll take.
Oh, lovely.

This antique wooden harvest basket,

bought from the Cirencester
antiques fair,

returns a healthy profit.

And his haul of smalls
from Kingfisher Farm is flying off the shelves.

Oh! I'm thri...
She's lovely, though.

- They don't look like your standard
garden ornamentation. - No.

Yeah, I think 50 is...

- Yeah?
- It's up to you.

That...

We'll do the deal on that.

- Fifty.
- Thank you. - Thank you very much.

The statue,
a female figure in despair,

is a popular garden motif

echoing Auguste Rodin's
famous "Eve",

the French sculptor's
19th-century masterpiece

depicting Eve after she gave in to
temptation in the Garden of Eden.

The fact that we put it out
this morning and you've took it now.

Temptation of a different kind
awaits Eve in her new home.

We've got a man
and he's the same as that.

- So you're bringing a lady home
for your man. - He's made up.

Tonight's date night. You've got to
dim the lights in the garden. Next thing, you'll wake up,

you'll have 40 gnomes.
(LAUGHS)

- Are you sure?
- Thank you. Take care. - Cheers. Take care.

I sold my first ever bit
of garden ornamentation and it flew out.

It went straight away.

The busy shop is also a chance

for some of Johnny's bigger buys
to get noticed.

It's a bit of all right, in't it?
Mmm.

Johnny is looking for �250

for this vintage sign he picked up
at Cirencester's antiques fair.

I like to do a deal.

I like to do a deal.

I thought I'd like to do a deal
when I priced it up.

- Yeah.
- Why? What do you thinkit's gonna cost me?

I'd be at 200.

No.

No. The very, very lowest
is 235.

I paid up on this 'cause I liked it.

I know you're gonna hit me again.
I was gonna meet you in the middle.

Two-fifty, 200, 225.

Two-thirty, you've got a deal.

- Two-thirty.
- Okay.

- Thank you very much.
- Superb.

That's how you do a deal, isn't it?
It is.

After holding his own
against a determined buyer,

Johnny's banked an �80 profit.

Post Office sign has sold.

Kind of...
not being arrogant, knew it would.

Signs sell. They just sell.

There's collectors for them
everywhere.

And now Johnny's turning to
the next part of the plan -

getting online
and finding a market

for his more eclectic buys,
including two papier mache heads.

The Macron head and
the Punch head from the fairground,

they're niche pieces.

But you know what?
With niche pieces, you buy 'em on instinct.

And they like...
they're at "wait and see."

Can't wait to prove people wrong,
if they sell.

For now, a healthy balance of smalls
and bigger ticket items is keeping the till ticking.

All right? Oh, thank you.

So Johnny finds time
for a catch-up...

Is this the new hot hangout?
It is. This the new hot hangout, mate.

...with his mentor and fellow
Dagfields dealer, Jon.

So how's it going, generally?

- Really well.
- Really well? - Really, really well.

Different from last year?
Different feeling? More confident dealing with dealers.

I've noticed that. If you've got
passion and confidence

in yourself and your items,
the people coming in the shop

pick that up,
and that helps you sell massively.

What's unpredictable is
it's the same as me buying, is what can shift.

Some days you'll shift like,
really high-ticket items that you're thinking,

"Will I sit on that forever?"
And then another day it's just smalls,

you just can't keep 'em
on the shelves.

And that's a formula
that I wish we could crack,

'cause then we'd all...
we'd all be millionaires.

But the new part of his business
might have the answer.

I've started online,
and it's starting to generate a load of interest.

So that's the new tool
in the toolbox.

And that makes me feel better about
buying something that's high end. If it sits in the shop,

it looks like I haven't got a clue.
If it sells online, people are going,

"I want to keep an eye
on that site."

Every day is a school day.

Every day is a... is a learning day.

Whether it's a position
you're putting things, a dead area, a hot area.

The way people are moving
through the shop.

Every day is a learning day.

Johnny's plans for the future
are taking shape,

but today it's something
from the past

that's caught
a customer's attention.

Guys, can I interru...
I'm stopping now.

I've sold the wasps' nest.

Get in!
(LAUGHS)

Sorry. We're having a moment.
You sold the wasps' nest!

They said it would never happen.

"What are you doing
buying a wasps' nest?"

Because there's method
in my madness.

I saw that last season,
and the more I look at it, the more I'm going, mmm.

Oh, you've made me so happy.
I want to do a victory lap.

Sold the wasps' nest.

I knew there'd be something in it
for somebody.

That wasps' nest just had to go.

Just presenting it
in a different place, it just worked, and it caught their eye.

And it's gone. What a day.

Hat is off.

You sold the wasps' nest.
I did.

Well done.

Bev has now got something over me
for the next year.

Wasps' nest.
Bev's done the sale of the century.

Wasps' nest is gone.

If there was an award for eclectic,
we'd be sitting there at the table, drumming our fingers, going,

"I think we're in with a chance
of a win this year."

- You're wonderful, wonderful people.
Cheers, pal. - Thank you.- Take care.

Cheers. Take care. Safe home.
Take care. Bye.

A rollercoaster week
is drawing to a close.

Do you like budgies?
Not particularly.

We killed ours. My mum went away
for the weekend to Blackpool and then she rang us up

and said, "Has anybody
fed the bird?" So I asked my sisters and none of us had fed it.

So I said, "Yeah, we fed the bird",
and it was dead in the bottom of the cage.

So we had to go
and try and find one.

While Johnny and Bev are taking
a trip down memory lane...

They're not that hard to match.
They come in blue, yellow or green.

...Vikki has some news.

Guys, we've had our first enquiry!
Ooh, from our tech department?

And guess where it's from?

- Go on.
- France.(GASPS)

- From France!
- Get in!

And they want...

Macron.
(GASPS)

And they also want...

The Punch puppet?
...the Punch puppet!

Didn't I say going online...

Didn't I say it would
turn things around?

�500 for both.
Brilliant.

What a day. What a day. What a day!
I told you, didn't I?

If you buy right, you'll sell right.
You'll sell right.

And he's going home!
Au revoir, Macron.

We've gone international.
We've gone international.

- Der-der-der-der!
First sale abroad. - Yeah.

�500 for the pair. Asking price.

They've paid the asking price.
Fantastic.

There's no quibbling.
As long as they cover, I mean...

You keep saying,
"They've got to cover post." Of course they do.

The papier mache heads
cost Johnny a combined �200.

So he's walking away

�300 up.

Plus postage and packaging,
of course.

Oh, that's great. I'm so chuffed.

Well done, everybody.

I've been saying, banging on about
let's get online, let's get online.

This is what all the dealers
are doing.

And two items that possibly
we might not have shifted here

have gone, and they're going home.
They're going back to France.

We've gone international.
We've gone global.

And if somebody from France
is looking on the site, who knows who else is looking on?

From a little shop
here in Dagfields in Nantwich,

we're catching the attention
of the world.

What a feeling, man.

And doing summat we love.

Right, best get back in.

Get some more things photographed.
Get 'em online.

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