All language subtitles for Johnny Vegas s01e08.eng

All the people I've fallen out with
in my hometown,

I just want to walk round in this
going, "I said good day, sir!" (LAUGHS)

NARRATOR: This time...
It's our last weekend.

...as the shop's short-term lease
comes to an end...

Let's sell everything
that we've got in this shop.

...Johnny's head is turned
by high-end antiques.

That is really, really...

WOMAN: I know. It's stunning.

He tries his hand at puppeteering...

All right, Mum, Are we having
oven chips again?

...and considers his future
as a dealer.

I... I don't...
I don't want to shut the shop.

To millions,
Johnny Vegas is known as

an award-winning stand-up comedian.
Good evening, Benidorm!

...much loved actor...
I've got no range, but distinctive is what I do.

...and celebrated artist.

But he's also a collector
of vintage - the odd...

This was once the pilot
of a flying badger. ...and the extraordinary.

Why I bought this
and what I paid for it, I'm taking the 5th.

Now, after years of dreaming,

he's turning his hobby
into a business...

Oh, wow, it's massive!

...by opening his very own
vintage and collectibles shop.

Ooh, now it feels real.

So with the help of lifelong friend
and assistant Bev... Well done.

...he's finally parting
with some of his collection...

I'm really attached to it.
...and hitting the road...

God, we look like swingers.
(LAUGHS)

...in search of hidden treasures
to stock the shop.

(GASPS)
Buying low...

(DUMMY VOICE) Thirty quid.

No, not 60. Just got to 70.

Are there any other monstrosities
you've purchased?

...in the hopes of selling high.
Two hundred quid? Thank you.Deal done. I like it.

But as a first-time dealer...

(BANGS GAVEL)
...has Johnny got what it takes...

Auctions are not a good place
for Johnny.

I've spent double the budget.
You don't trust me, do you?No.

It's been a tough week.
...to turn his lifelong passion...

Get in!
There you go.There we go.

...into the business of his dreams?

(WHISPERS) I do know what I'm doing.

Right, okay, let's get stuff moving.

Thank you for your patience.

We are open for business.
We've just had a little bit of setting up

'cause we sold a lot of stuff
last weekend,

and we've been trying to restock.

Welcome to the shop. Come in.

I had a friend like that,
but it was a monkey.(LAUGHS)

Johnny's short-term lease
on his pop-up shop...

Feel free to browse, Ask on prices.
There's wiggle.

...is coming to an end.

Have you seen these down here?
Do you want a bit of fun?

Look at the titles they've got -
"Hoppity-Skip and Crawl-About."

(LAUGHS)

That's a really sweet
little piece, that.

I'm in salesman mode.

So far,
he's been doing a roaring trade...

Yeah, done. Thank you very much. Aw.
Deal.Right, tenner.

...selling most of the items
from his buying trips...

It is one of the best examples
of studio ceramics

I have bought in a long, long time.

Well done.
(LAUGHS) Thank you.

...and pieces from his personal
collection,

including prized treasures...

I didn't think he'd let it go.
Well done. Well done, you. Cherish it.

...he thought
he would never part with.

Right, who's next?

Hiya, mate.
Hi.

I'm guessing you want
to talk to me about something.

The knife.

Right.

I've had it in my kitchen
and I thought some chefs might buy it, but they didn't.

Who is it for?
Is it for you or for you? She said she'd buy half it.

She said, "How much do you think
he'd sell it for?

I'd love 400.
I'll let it go for 350.

What was you thinking?
About that.

What, 350?
Yeah.

You didn't. You said 300.
(LAUGHTER)

I know,
but if I can come down from four

and you can come up from three...
Meet in the middle.

...and we do 350... Deal.

Don't know where I'm gonna put it.
Wonderful. Do you know what?

It's just... It's a brilliant,
brilliant talking piece.

I've had my fun with it.
Been in the kitchen.

Everyone's like, "Where
the heck did you get that?" You'll have the same fun out of it.

It's utterly cathartic.

It's gone. I've sold it,
and I've not lost money.

I've made a hundred quid.
Yes, I've sat on it for six years.

But whilst I've been sitting
on that knife, which sounds wrong,

it's held its value and more,
so I'm not as torn.

I can be torn
over an object this big.

It's a massive knife.
I'll never have another one,

but they've got it now
and it's theirs.

And I love the fact
that they want to take it home.

They'll go home
and they'll go, "Where the heck did you get a giant knife?"

And they'll go, "Johnny Vegas."

Once again, Johnny has proved

he has an eye for the unusual...

"Walks for motorists."
The irony of that when I read it! Let's do it for 12.

...that can turn a profit.

All right, see you later.

It's a weird mix.
I've run out of stuff.

Empty shelves, blank walls.

Keen to fill the gaps on his shelves

with a few signature smalls,
there's just enough time

to squeeze in one more buying trip.

BEV: So where are we going?
JOHNNY: We're going to a castle.

Ooh!

Today. Johnny and Bev are travelling

over 100 miles northeast
to Harrogate.

Fellow Dagfields dealer
Jon Eggleston

has invited them
to a prestigious trade show.

For me, if it's Jon,
it's gonna be higher end.

But it's an unknown quantity
other than idyllic surroundings. Yeah.

You can finish your map
of Great Scones of Britain.

(LAUGHS) Is that what I'm doing?
I'll go and test the scones.

But I don't know
how it's gonna fare,

no pun intended, on smalls.
I'll have a mooch.

I'll have a mooch, and I will keep
an eye out for some smalls for you.

That just makes you sound like
a carer who's buying me underwear. It does.

Do you know what?
The minute I said that! I'll look for some nice underpants for you.

This exclusive ticketed fair
is held twice a year

and set in the grounds
of Ripley Castle,

a 14th-century stately home

situated on the edge of the
Yorkshire Dales National Park.

It's the perfect backdrop to
showcase carefully created antiques

and architectural salvage
from traders all across the country.

Ripley Castle, always been
one of my favourite fairs.

I used to stand here years ago,
numerous times.

Great atmosphere, great buyers.

The perfect place to come today

for Johnny to find
some really good quality items.

It's a change
from Johnny's usual shopping trips

and a chance to test his knowledge

and flex his dealing muscles
in a new trading arena.

Ooh! Oh, this is it.
Ooh! Oh!

God, it is fancy, innit?

You won't find dirt under nails
here.(LAUGHS)

Just got a vision of me
sitting there with 19 gramophones going,

"I've had more successful trips."
(LAUGHS)

Oh, actually...
Oh-ho-ho-ho!

This looks very nice.

Hello there.
All right, Johnny.

How's it going, mate?
Good to see you. How are you, Jon?Great.

You're looking the part.
(LAUGHS) And you. No, I...

(LAUGHS)
I'm looking like...

I'm looking like
your humble servant, going... No, no.I did.

I stood in front of the mirror
and went, "What would Jon wear?" What makes me look like a pro?

And what makes me look
like a seasoned buyer?"

And then all of that was wiped out
by pulling up in this.(LAUGHS)

Good morning, Bev. How are you?
Morning. I'm all right.

I'm gonna have a mooch
and leave you two to it.Cool. Yeah, it's gonna be good today.

This is a real big mix

of superb antiques, industrial,
rustic.

I think we're gonna have
a good day.

With Jon by his side for guidance,

this is the perfect opportunity
for Johnny

to not only upgrade his stock
but also sharpen his buying skills.

That's lovely.

As long as he stays
focused on the business.

Is it gonna fit in with
what you want?

No.
No. (LAUGHS)

No, it doesn't.
Have you got a place for it?

It's got a lovely weathered,
worn look.

I've spent my life buying stuff
that I haven't got a place for.

Oh, I like that.

The glass?
Yeah.It is nice.

Go lovely in my house next...
(LAUGHS)

...next to me hotel sign.
You should have said, "It'll go lovely In the shop."

There's some great stalls.
I do like looking on these, though. Ten quid an item.

Might find
a little piece of gold on here.

Ooh! Giant plunger.

That can't be part of that hat.

It is! All the people I've
fallen out with in my hometown,

I just want to walk round in this
going, "I said good day, sir!" (LAUGHS)

Found Bev's birthday present.

What do you think?

No? Not me?

(LAUGHS)

These... these look cool.
That one. I like the gnarly one.

That gnarly one's really good.

That's a nice small.
It is, isn't it?It is, yeah. It's not a bad...

So this is?
That's 17th century

from a chateau called
Sancourt Chateau in Cambrai.

It's all fallen into disrepair,

so we were lucky enough
to retrieve...No way. ...all of these.That's really cool.

That's a nice one with the heads.
I like the head on that.

That is really, really...

I know, it's stunning.
Do you know what that is?Go on.

Too much roughage, not enough water.
(LAUGHTER)

Go on, put me out of my misery.
Two-fifty.

And...?
That one, 175.

Right, I'm not messing you about.
Let me have a wander.

Let me have a ponder on these.
No problem, Johnny, yeah. It's a beautiful thing.

It's not what I left the house
to get today.I know.

But it's just full of credibility.
Mmm.

And it's got a story,
you know what I mean? It's one of those.

They've got a fab look to do them.
You know we was on about back burner?

It's on the front hob.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice to see you.Nice to see you.
I'd definitely put those on the front hob on those.

I'm loath to walk away now
'cause I think whoever sees them is gonna...

I'm so nervous about
leaving them behind.

This is exactly the feeling.
It's not just a carving.

You've got provenance
of the chateau.

So it was what? It was two...
Two-fifty.

Two-fifty and...
One-seven-five. One-seventy-five.

Bundle them together.
So it's 45... Erm...

I'd like to get 'em for under 400.
Three-seven-five.

I don't want to risk...
Oh, bless you, Johnny.

If I take both...

what's your best?
Er, what did I say?

Four-two-five as you've got 'em.
Yeah.

What's the rock bottom best
you can do for both?Er, 400.

2
New dealer Johnny Vegas

is at the Ripley Castle Trade Fair
trying to secure the best price

on some wooden relics
from a 17th-century chateau.

What did I say? I said...
Four-two-five as you've got 'em. Yeah.

Er, 400.

Three-eight-five.

Love you. Thank you.

Happy?
More than.That's a great buy.

That's the first ones
under the belt.The day's done. I can enjoy it now.

Thank you so much.
It's a pleasure.

So I think we did okay there.

We got that for 385.
There's a wiggle room.

I think if you put the big one on
for 300

and you put the smaller one on,
the fish, for 250.

These salvaged relics came from
the ruins of Sancourt Chateau

in Cambrai, northern France,
built in the 17th century.

If I get 250 for the fish,

it means I can keep the large one,
doesn't it?No.

It just means you're making profit.
You can't keep it, no.

But I think...All right, what if
I charge of grand for the fish, and then I can keep the other one?

Well, we can try.
(THEY LAUGH)

Right, let's carry on
having a peruse.

With over 100 stands,
all bursting with rare

decorative furnishings
and one-of-a-kind pieces,

Johnny and Jon
have their work cut out.

Loads of lovely stuff here.

It's nice graphics.
It's lovely graphics. It's plastic though, on that.

Yeah, '60s, '70s.

I think Jon's given Johnny
a bit of confidence in the buys

to know there's some money in them.
I think he's

tailoring his purchases now
to the shop.

To cover more ground...

Ooh, I've just seen something.

..Johnny heads off on his own.
I'm fascinated.

What's the story with
the papier macher?The puppets? They came from a magician's estate.

Oh, can I have a look?
Course you can.

Oh!

This is definitely
Princess Jasmine.They're fabulous.

These two I love.
Him, he scares me.

I can't decide whether he...
Oh, yes, he's just got something.

He's got teeth!

He's got teeth
and extreme sinusitis.

What is it, 75 on each?
Seventy-five each, trade. Or, for you,

we'd do 50 each.
I can do that.

I'm made up with that.
Brilliant.Thank you.

I love having faith in buying them,
somebody's gonna love 'em.

I'm always a firm believer in
there's a collector for everything.

And I'm the guy for the stuff
that you go...

It's a bit creepy.
...I might have a buyer. (LAUGHTER)

I'll ring the creepy guy.
The creepy hotline.(LAUGHS)

I like them because
somebody took the time to sit down and make them,

and I didn't think
whether it would give children nightmares.

They're just colourful,
they'll look great in the shop.

If they don't shift,
I'd be surprised.

What have you found, mate?
I've been a bad boy.(LAUGHS)

Magician's estate.

Yeah, they are, yeah, yeah.
Scratch made.

They're great pieces of folk art.
So what is it? What did we pay for those each?

Ticket price of 75.
She said, I think, a nice dealer's rate for the three -

50 each.
That's good.

We're gonna get the ticket price
of 75 back on those. No problem.

There's a very fine line.

Some people will look at 'em
and think it's tat.

It's the eye of the beholder stuff.

If you're gonna put your stall out
and be individual,

I want to be
that kind of individual.

As the afternoon draws to a close,

there's just time for
one final flurry on smalls.

Let me show you.
Yeah, yeah.

And Johnny soon spots a stall
with the kind of quirky charm he's been hunting for.

I'm having this.
I'm not bothered at the price. Oh, I don't blame you, yeah.

It's got a great look to it.
It's a big chunky bit.

Yeah.
It's bold, innit?

It's great, the finish.
I love it the patina on it, the thickness of the handle.

It's great. You can put that
in the middle of the table and it's a statement piece.

What's on it?
Thirty.We can double it.

Put 60, 65 on it.
It's a great item. It's lovely. It's lovely.

The salting trough, that one's nice.
It's big, it's got good size.

I like the handles.
I've never seen one with handles like that.

I'll see what he'll do me on that
'cause 120 is... that's what's in it.

We could do with that coming down
a bit if you're gonna have it in the shop.

I have a penchant
for antique decoy ducks. Yeah, and those are real...

But we'd have to look at
quite a bit...Yeah.

I've seen ones not as nice,

but at a cheap enough price
for entry level.

Yeah. Those are very cool.
They are great.

Now we've sort of
sorted out what we want,

I'll go and find the fella.
I'll go grab him, see what we can do.

I'm gonna sit here
in a position of power.

I'm gonna do my Bond villain
when he comes in.

Hiya, mate. Sorry.
I was just... Nice to meet you.

This is...They're good,
aren't they?They are!Lovely.

I want to build it like a rucksack
and see if Bev can lift me on it. (LAUGHTER)

Put some straps on it.
# We're off to the auctions #

(LAUGHS)
Sorry. Pricing.

You've got a jug over there

priced at 30. I think you've priced
that up dead fair.Yeah, absolutely.

So I'll just take that,
if that's all right. Happy days. Thank you.

I have got one. I've never seen one
with the handles.Right.

I don't know how often
they shift.Yeah. I do like it.Right.

It could be 80 quid to you.

You're just...

Salting trays,
also known as salt pans,

were commonly made from cedar wood

and used from the Middle Ages
through to the 19th century,

designed for salt curing
fish and meat,

preserving them for storage
over the winter months.

I love the ducks.

What's the absolute
sort of rock bottom best

you can do
without you losing out?

The 320 on the pair -
the very, very best, 240 the pair.

There is money in them.
You know what I mean?

You've gone quiet.
Yeah. I was running the calculations through my head.

Two-four...
If you did get them,

you're not gonna be getting
huge amounts out of them

'cause you'd have to do them
for, like, 150 apiece.

It's not massive,
but it's not a loss, is it?

No, but it could be
a quick turnover. They've got a nice look.

They're not a massive earner,
but I still think it brings summat to the shop.

I wouldn't mind
putting my neck out on that at 240.

These early 20th-century
wooden decoy ducks

were originally used in waterfowl
hunting to attract real ducks.

There's a big collectors' market
for handcrafted decoys

designed by top makers,
especially in the U.S.

I can keep one in my house
and put one out.

Or are they better displayed
as a pair?No, display 'em as a pair every time.

Shut up. I don't know what...
Who's he? Who does he think he is? The big I am.

You've only been in this game
for 20 years.

Don't tell me
how to display stuff. What do I know?

I'll have you know,
I was in Benidorm. (LAUGHS)

Now with all his ducks in a row,

it's been a satisfying
shopping trip for Johnny.

I like these.

They're great buys.
I love the heads on 'em. Hiya, Bev!

All right?
Yes, yes. We've got some more stuff.

A pair of ducks.
Older decoys. Decoy ducks.

A salting bowl.
I've got puppets.

The lovely things from a chateau,

the 17th century...
How could I forget them?

They're gonna live in the house
for just at least a night.

I need them to be close to me.
(LAUGHS)

The drug of all drugs.

I'm taking no risks.

God, this is like...
Imagine when I was 11

and I had an undersized kagoule.
(LAUGHS)

I could never get it off.

An undersized kagoule!
I just had to basically rip it off myself.

(LAUGHTER)

God, this is fabulous.
I'm gonna...

put it down around here.

Professional trader
and longtime friend Kris Brown

has been part of Johnny's
dealing journey from the beginning.

He's come to see
how Johnny's been getting on.

Hey-hey-hey up!

Hiya, mate.
You all right?

This looks ace, mate.
Well impressed.

How's it going?

Do you know what? I've loved
the selling bit, seeing it go.

You know when you start talking
to the right people...Yeah.

...and they appreciate it and you
see how much they love it, it's not as hard to get rid of it.No.

It takes the sting out of it.
You still miss it.

I've sold loads.
I'm actually low on stock, which isn't a bad place to be.

No, that's good, because
I've brought a few bits with me, if you're interested.

Oh, have you?Yeah.
You can't... It's in the blood, innit?You've got to, haven't you?

All right, let's have a gander.
'Ey, I'm always up for a deal.

Oh, my God!

2
(MUSIC PLAYING)

Brought a few bits with me,
if you're interested in buying. Oh, have you?Yeah.

All right. Show us what you've got.

Professional trader and friend
Kris Brown

is hoping to strike a deal
with Johnny Vegas

on extra items for the shop.

Oh, my God!

I've just got this back,
'cause I lent it to my mate who opened a bar in Warrington.

He scares me.
He's a bit odd, isn't he?

He looks like he's
warning people off against me.

His prices are high!
Quality's low!

What are you asking on him?

It owes me 250.
I'm not doing anything with it.

So if you want to just use it
as a prop for your shop

and put a price on it
and we can split any profit,

and if not, just give it me back
when you're done.It's a no-brainer.

There's easy 100 quid in it.
More than that. I'd say five.

Yeah.
Put it on for five and I take it on commission.

Yeah, of course.
Split with you.

Okay. Well, let's start at five
and see how we do.

Ooh, artwork!
It's Christopher Tucker.

Yeah. Same designer?
The same guy, yeah. the prop guy.

I really like that.It's just
different than the heads, isn't it? Yeah, definitely.

Johnny previously bought a head cast
of the actor John Gielgud,

created by makeup and prosthetics
artist Christopher Tucker.

It's artistic, it's exquisite.
Really well cast, actually.

What's the...

Er, 150 I want for that.

I'll go 150 on it.
Yeah.

I will. I'll go 150.

If I was selling that myself,
I'd start at 250, I think.

Right, okay. Yeah, all right.

Happy to have that.
It's a bit of art, innit?

Is it still just a pop-up thing
or you think you're gonna carry it on?(SIGHS)

It is a pop-up. It was a pop-up.

I found it one of the most
addictive things I've done in ages.

That's brilliant.
I never felt like I was out of my depth.

It was just like being in this
most amazing toy shop for adults.

The way it looks,
it's all set up well. I think...Thank you.

I'd carry it on if I could.
Well, come on,

let's get these indoors.Yeah, good.

That was emotional,
having Kris here.

Kris was the first proper,
I would say, shop of this sort

that I befriended,
the first person as a trader

who started sending me
photos of stuff. For me to then do deals with him standing there,

that's surreal, that.

It's like being properly
acknowledged as a dealer myself.

It's like certain things
have come full circle.

Johnny took to it
like a duck to water,

buying and selling.
He's doing a great job.

He could hold his own
in the antiques trade. He knows what he's doing.

Really proud of him as a friend.
You see how much he's loving it.

Hopefully, he'll continue
'cause he's got the gift to do it.

(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

Look at that bemused woman
sat next to Gloria.

Oh, I love everybody
sat next to Gloria on the bench.

It's the last day.
Stuff's got to go.Yeah.

Let's enjoy. This is the last chance
to enjoy selling face to face.Yep.

I love having a shop.

I love talking about stuff.
I love sharing it.

Like when we worked behind the bar.

You get to know people when they're
buying stuff that matters to you. Mmm.

I really, really thought

that you would just love going out
and buying.

And then when you get in the shop,
would you enjoy the sales?

And you really are enjoying
the sales. And you're really good. I'm loving the sales.Really good.

Far more than I thought
I ever would.Yeah.

Your thing of, "Will he let go?"
And you go,

do you know what? Letting go
is a bigger buzz than buying.

Oh, God!
Now, I never thought you'd say that.

Before the doors open
to the public,

there's just enough time
for a few last-minute tweaks.

Death mask, African Mask,
death mask, Pope John Paul II. Why not?

It's gonna slide wherever you...

There.

It's how Selfridges do it.

(SQUEAKING)
I love the sound of Bev wheeling off a mouthy newspaper boy.

News of Johnny's bargains
has travelled far and wide.

We'll be open very shortly.

Two minutes.

It's the last day.

Anything left in here today,

we're stuck with.

And that's the change in attitude
I've come to is, I don't want to be stuck with stuff.

So let's sell everything that we've
got in this shop as best we can. Okay.

We're like Power Rangers.
When we combine our efforts, we can shift everything.(LAUGHS)

Let's just go out on a high.
Cool.

Okay?
Go and open the door, then. All right.

Thank you for your patience.

It's our last weekend,
so everything today, good deals -

ask us, you know what I mean?

There's wiggle room,
but don't take the mickey.

So, ladies and gentlemen,
bargain of the day.

Ex-Blackpool Illumination.

I will let that go for 150 today.

And it's a massive piece.

You can tweak my arm a bit,
but you can't snap it off. (LAUGHTER)

Right, you've had a look
at the blanks...Yeah.

...and you want to see
the plugged-in version.Yeah.

The kiss-me-quick one
you just had done.

A deal could be on the cards
for Johnny,

as one couple has taken a shine

to the Blackpool illuminations
from his personal collection.

We've paid for graphics
and it's...it's backlit.

But I've got to, erm...

'Cause of the graphics,
'cause of the time,

'cause of what we paid,
I've got to ask 300 for that.

Okay.
But 300, it's lit, it's ready.

Honest. Trust me, it's lit.
It's good to go.

With us getting the medium
and a small one of them, could you do that for 275?

Now, let me... let me do the math.
(LAUGHS)

I'm not making owt off that,
at 275 for me. Um...

But you're taking two others?
Make me feel a little bit better.

Give me 280, and then I don't...
You know what I mean?Deal. Done.

Nobody feels like a schmuck.
(LAUGHTER)

You spent more than you wanted to,
and I sold it for less than I wanted to.

And that's always a sign
of a good deal, innit?

Fantastic.
Oh, it's brilliant.

With his sales patter
honed to a fine art,

Johnny's managed to secure
a bundle deal for a healthy profit.

Last day of sales.
Stuff's going.

It's selling.
People seeing the value,

the value in what I saw in it.

Word has spread through
the dealing community

that Johnny is the go-to guy
for quirky, one-of-a-kind items.

Hiya, lads.
Hiya, captain. How's it going?

Professional traders Rick and Mark

have travelled up from Stoke
to see what's on offer.

Can we have a look
at three or four things? Have a...

Yeah. Do you want
to want to walk and talk?

I'm interested in that.

If you're looking at stuff
in a bundle, can we put it together?

Yes.'Cause I can do a deal on that
for you.

That's what we like, a deal.
Champion.

What else, then?
Your Wills's cigarettes.Oh!

The sign. That's already
really well priced.

It is falling to pieces.
So, erm...

Yeah, but you know what?
It makes it

because it's falling to pieces.
You know.

I'll let you know now.
I can't shift that much on that.

But if we can put it in here...
Are we starting a bundle? Yeah, bundle in.

Well, let's take it down.
How much for the hammer?

You're breaking my heart
'cause I haven't priced it.

You haven't priced it?
No, 'cause I didn't want to sell it. But I will.

But if you look at it...
Let me get the sign and show you. Your hammering days are over.

I think a tall bloke should do that.
He's got two 6' 6" blokes here. That is...

We like that.
The graphics on that are gorgeous.

The mallet. Look at this.

Do you know what?
I've owned this so long, and I'll be quite honest with you,

I can't remember what I paid for it.

Erm... Is there anything else?

What about the circus sign, Johnny?
(SIGHS HEAVILY)

(BEV LAUGHS)
It's not original,

but out of all the repops
I've bought...

It looks '50s, doesn't it,
even though it's not. It's one of the best.

It is super-duper.
Yeah.

I'd like about 500 on it.

I think 500 is really reasonable.

I don't think we're far off.
Right.

Well, if you're still
talking about a bundle,

450, 80, 130 and 40.
I'll come down 50 on that.

You're getting
a massive amount of sign for your money.It's a good sign.

Four-fifty for that is silly money.

If you knock me 100 off that,
I'll take them all.I can't do it, 'cause it's too good a sign, mate.

Four-fifty.

2
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

Four-fifty, 80, 130 and 40.
I'll come down 50 on that.

It's the final day in the shop

and Johnny Vegas,
now a fully-fledged dealer,

is in tough negotiations
with professional traders

who are trying to drive
the price down on a bundle deal.

If you knock me 100 off that,
I'll take them all.I can't do it,

'cause it's too good a sign, mate.

Four-fifty.
Yeah.Yeah.

Got a deal, lads.
Thank you, captain.

You've done good. That, honestly,
that's made your trip.

That's like
an Alfred Hitchcock piece, in't it? Yeah.

Many a night I've realised
why I no longer go to the circus.

Well, thank you.
You know what, lads?

You've not beaten me up.
I like how you do business.Yes.

It's a triumph for Johnny,
as some of these pieces

have been part of his personal
collection for many years.

He's stuck to his guns

and has managed to get
a decent price for the bundle.

I'm getting respect
amongst dealers.

People are telling people,
"Get in his shop because he's got...

he's got the weirdest stuff
but the best stuff."

Fantastic.

I can stop having nightmares.
(LAUGHS)

I've watched people do this
for a living. Now I'm in it,

it's nice to feel like people
are going, "It's not just him off the telly,

he's a proper dealer."
And if I keep doing good deals,

I could stay in business.

Spotting another potential sale
on the horizon,

Johnny puts on his game face
ready to pounce.

(SHOUTS) Hoo-Zoo?
(LAUGHS)

Isn't it fabulous?
It is brilliant, isn't it?

It's the graphic on the box.
It's so wrong.

Here's a tiger mid-kill.
Happy Christmas. (LAUGHS)

Also, I'm telling you now,
these are fabulous.

That was a magician, right?
And he made all his own props.

WOMAN:

It's a proper folk art piece.
Honestly, I like him.

I'm not giving you a hard sell
on it, I'm just going

that's probably one of the most
unique things I've bought lately.

You want objects in your life
that people go, "Why?" And you go, "Why not?"

Let's just create a scenario now.
Is it a puppet?Yeah. I didn't realise it was a puppet.

So you've come in from work.
Yeah.

You know she's cross with you
and you don't know why.

And you... Instead of coming in
yourself, you walk in and go,

"What have I done wrong now?"

"All right, Mum.
Are we having oven chips again?

Wow. You're quite the maestro
in the kitchen, aren't you?"

"Don't you speak to me like that!"

"Well, I'm sorry, Mum,
but I'm struggling, all right?

It's been very tricky
with me A Levels."

That's what you do
with something like that. You work out your issues.

He's an evil magician.
Oh!

Who's not big on dental.

Is his eye supposed to be like
that? Is that how he's made? No, I honestly think...

I think somebody fell on him.
(CHUCKLES)

But it adds to the patina.

I like him.
Take the two of them.

I just want you two
to have conversations at night... via these two.

You two have a chat now.
Okay, let's have a look.

I should be a therapist.

Hi, Mum. I'm home.
Hi, son. How are you?

How's your day been?
Terrible. I'm hungry.

Where are the oven chips?

I'll go and make you some oven chips
and some oatcakes.

(LAUGHS WHEEZILY)

I've got a stitch! Oh, it...

And... scene.

(LAUGHS WHEEZILY)

I think that's the favourite
bit of filming I've ever done in all my life. Thank you.

Right, what are they?
Seventy-five each.

Or 130, 'cause
I want them to go with you two.

So 150 for the lot with that?
Yeah. What was that?

Twenty-five.
Yeah, 150 the lot.

Knock a fiver off that and then...
And you two keep communicating. It's really important.

It's a deal.
Deal.

These one-of-a-kind, hand-crafted
papier mache puppets

were retrieved from
a magician's estate in Yorkshire.

Sold alongside
this vintage 1950s board game.

Give me a sale like that
every day of the week

and I promise you
I'll die an happy man.

Honestly, if we only opened
the shop for that moment, it was glorious.

Everything you've rescued is now...

...has found
the best new lease of life.

After a busy day selling, it's time
for a well-earned break with Jon.

Johnny, cuppa brew.

There you go, buddy.
There we go. Been a great day.

It's been a...
It's been a wild ride.Mmm!

It's gone too fast.
Gone too soon.

God, it's great.Yeah.
Once it gets under your skin.

What's gonna be really odd
is waking up and thinking I don't have a shop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What has been, not your best buy,
but your most satisfying sell?

You know what the best thing is?

I can't pick a favourite.

Every sale's been quite unique.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

It's like... it's like
being a foster parent.

You're going. "I've loved them all."
So, is this the end?

You think you'll carry on?
When you shut the door, is that it?

It's never the end.
It's just where...

where do you take it from here?

It's who I am.
Yeah.

You can't draw the curtain on that.
No.

You just buy 10 more curtains.
Yeah.

And find a buyer for them,
don't you? (LAUGHS)

Yeah.
And do you know what as well?

Having the shop, it makes you
make time to do this thing that makes you happy.

Whatever way I'm wired,

the weird, the vintage...
You know what I mean?

...the different, brings me joy.

This way,
I don't have to excuse myself for squeezing it into my days.

It was my reason
for getting out of bed. Yeah, yeah.

You have done amazingly well
in the time you've been here. Oh, cheers, man.

The look, the feel of the place,
just like when you walk in,

that's definitely you
when you walk in there

and you can see your character
in there, and that's what you want.

I genuinely can't put a price on,
er,

your generosity of just stopping by
whenever I've needed.

It's all part of the game.
It's all part of what we do. I know, but just...

Oh, absolutely.
It is part of the game, but you didn't have to.

Thank you for taking me seriously.
Oh, no, it's been...

It has been a pleasure.
As neighbours go, mate,

I couldn't ask for better.
No, thank you. And the same to you, mate.

It's been a pleasure.

It's like the, er,
Magnificent Seven,

but it's two of us going,
"It's the life we chose."

It's the life we chose.

Before the door closes
for the last time,

the rest of Johnny's
Dagfields trading family

have come to wish him
a fond farewell.

At least for now.

Hey!
Hi, guys.Hey!

Hello.
We've had so much fun with you lot being here.

Oh, don't! I'll get emotional.
Welcome to the shop of empty shelves.

We want to make
a couple of purchases off you. Yeah, so do I.

I don't want
friends and family rate. Fine. Erm...

I do.
(LAUGHTER)

We want to buy Peter the Paperboy,
and we'd like to bid you 350 on him.

Is that too little?

No, it's not. It's reasonable.

And, erm... Tell you what,
how's this?

Give me 500 on him...
Yep.

...and I'll chuck in the bike
that you like.Fantastic. Deal.

Thank you so much.
Get the barber's chair and take that, 500 for the both.

He's a good businessman.

This 1950s child's barber's chair

was one of Johnny's first purchases
for the shop.

Discovering it was faulty,
Johnny asked Dave to repair it.

I can't pay for your knowledge.

Your help helping me fix
the fault, your help coming in,

have a look round
and pick summat.You owe me nothing. I owe you for the knowledge.

It's been an absolute pleasure.
Have you enjoyed it? I've loved it.

I've found a new joy in letting go.
Excellent.

Actually saying to someone,
"I'll tell you a story about this",

and you go... We all become
storytellers.Mmm.

And we tell stories
'cause we love objects.

You're buying a piece of history.
Yeah.

History's passing through
your hands.

It's been a pleasure and an honour.
Thank you so much.

I'm made up
'cause I know where that's going. Thanks for seeing the value in it.

You!
It's been emotional.

You, you are...
(LAUGHS)

This is not goodbye.
You're going on a special list

of people you can ring
at 3 a.m. and go,

"I'm looking at this motorbike
and I think..."Make sure you do. Choose something. Anything.

What have I got my eye on?
I did quite like that.

We were talking to the girls
about it, that picture.

This is... Have that.
There's just something about, innit?

No, it's the title.
"Hoppity-Skip and Crawl-About."

That's our working relationship.

Dave's a mover.
Dave's a shaker. I crawl about.

I'm learning.
I'm learning from the best.

Will you have that?
Hundred percent.

Mate, I love you.
Ring me any time.

I'll look after you, mate,
you know that. I'll look after you.

Let's, erm...

Let's shut the shop.

Right, then, you kookie kids.

Thanks for everything.

Right. Go on, Tommy.
Come on, guys.Keep a tight hold.

Bye.
Bye, Dave.

Look after yourself.
Definitely.See you later, mate.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

Bye.
Bye.

(EXHALES HEAVILY)
That's it.

Innit weird?
Really weird.

After decades of collecting
unusual treasures,

years of dreaming and months
of careful planning,

Vintage Vegas has turned into
a thriving pop-up business.

But is Johnny ready to say goodbye
to the world of dealing?

How have you found it,
shutting the door and that's it, it's done?

I think it were an experiment,
and it's turned into...

...for mental health, for
everything, without being too deep,

selling stuff has been

the most cathartic experience
I've ever enjoyed.

Has it?
Yeah.Letting go.

Because it's brought me
out myself.

It's been a really emotional...
Yeah, it's been a journey.Yeah.

We're starting out
a virgin business.

Fabulous.
Cheers, Johnny, mate. I've made a... made my first sales.

I feel like I've been married to you
for 30 years.(LAUGHS)

God, we look like swingers.
(LAUGHS)

We look like we've talked Kris
into coming away with us. (LAUGHS)

Come here, you. Wow!
(LAUGHS)

Finding a piece of my ceramics
that I made in my early 20s...

BEV: Made you emotional, hasn't it?

What can I say?

You ready?
Yeah.

(THEY LAUGH)

Buying and selling, it's my gateway
to a wider community.

Friends, dealers.
Mmm. You've found your tribe.

Yeah. You're either on stage,

and if you're not,
I struggle to communicate.

I can communicate
when I'm discussing stuff. Definitely.

So with objects, I can actually
share more about myself.

Mmm. Through them.I've got a duck
with a wonky head and you go,

"It makes me happy."
(LAUGHS)

I've finally gone, I think,
confidence wise,

I could make a living from this.

I personally think that,
you know, you could definitely look at doing it.

Whatever that next step is,
it's been successful,

and it's something
to go away and think about.

It was a pop-up.
It's not now. It's an ambition.

I want to have a shop.
Oh, wow.

'Cause I'm good.
I'm good.

Good at selling.
I think I... I...

I trust my instincts.

I'm feeling emotionally weary.

And yet I'm elated.

'Cause everything's sold.

Be great to do it again, you know.
So, yeah, watch this space.

What's he gonna do?

Will we be back?

It wasn't a pop-up, this.

It was a rebirth.

I am born anew.

I'm Johnny Vegas, and I'm a dealer.

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