Original subtitles

No.

I need to get a message out.

I know too much.

They're not going to let us leave.

I'm sending for help.

Everything is going to be okay, my little sweetie.

I promise it.

One day, the truth will be known.

Have you gotten into a catapult hoping to be gently and sensibly flown to a

destination of your choosing, only to be violently piledrived face-first into the

ground?

Have you ever sat a big stack of TNT on the road, hoping to blow up your

nemesis, but when you press the detonator, the detonator itself

explodes?

Have you ever pulled the ripcord of your parachute and only a bunch of silverware

comes out?

It's not your fault.

There's probably someone to blame.

We'll be your boys.

Avery. June.

Maltese. Justin.

Two for Tuesdays.

Hey, wreck a ball fast.

I can probably get you $250 for that.

See you next week.

Thank you for calling Avery Jones and Maltese. If you've been hit by an anvil,

press 1. If you've been electrocuted, press 2. If you've been crushed by a

fallen piano, press 3.

Good morning.

It's almost 3.

Good morning, Daddy.

Not now. Do they have the paperwork back up?

Again? Sleeping that suit again? Good.

I've been waiting for you.

Hi. I have found some catastrophic fires, coincidentally all near match

factories, and I really think it's a great opportunity to help a lot of

people with one thing.

How long is this interview going to take?

Three more months. Just enough time to dig in and make a difference.

You know, you really remind me of when I was fresh out of law school, and I mean

that in the worst possible way.

And I don't take that as a compliment. Oh, no, look.

I'm going to do you a favor, because you're my niece, and I want you to have

a happy life.

Stop.

At Oxford... I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing that phrase a lot.

At Oxford, they really stress the importance of the law on everyday lives,

and all you're really having to do right now is brainstorm ideas for your

billboards. Yeah, you're new here, so you don't know that this bio goes right

over here.

And that, my friend, is freedom.

I really want to pick it up.

No, no, no, no, no.

And I really want to file it alphabetically. No, you will not,

please. You've got a new client in the conference room. He seems unhinged. Good

luck.

Mr. Coyote?

Coyote?

Okay.

All right, well, uh... How can I help you?

Oh, one of my billboards.

Cost a lot of money to put those up. So you've been in an accident?

Do you not talk?

Oh, but you have signs.

I don't understand.

All right.

And that must be you?

Who's that?

really necessary to do all that, but okay.

So it seems like we're talking about some faulty rocket skates that backfired

when you're trying to capture a bird that you have some sort of certain

history with.

So do you have the rocket skates?

Okay, great. So we're going to write in your name as the plaintiff, and we'll

say we're asking for, I don't know, $300.

And here we'll write in the name of the company that made the skates, let me

guess.

Acne. But there's a way to deal with for a little duck like this. You just drop

your case in a box, lick it, and boom! You're the richest coyote in the

country. All I need is a signature. Or you just want to lick it, that's

probably fine too.

Wait,

Mr. Coyote? Hey, somebody grab that guy!

Mr. Coyote, look, I just need you to...

Acne stapler?

Yes, that is how staplers work.

Okay, I get it. There are problems with acne cartoon products. I see it all the

time.

I'm surprised. Acne makes my phone and my car. Why would they have to make

them? They're just really stuck for cartoons, you know? What's the worst

that could really happen? They just have birds whipping around their heads?

Well, doesn't seem that good to me. Hey, this is a run-of-the-mill $300

Rocketscape case.

Your generosity.

Ben, doesn't that mean that's a pile of $300 cases?

Hey, come on.

Do you know what would happen if we submitted all this stuff as evidence

together? We'd have a giant lawsuit up our hands.

That would be amazing.

And if you could prove a causal connection, I believe the sky's the

limit. The sky is not the limit. All right? The limit is, like, right here.

We don't do massive cases. We do quick.

It's easy.

Where'd all this stuff go?

So, Mr. Coyote, my professional opinion is that this case is worth, you know, a

few hundred dollars, and I can see if they will replace the rockets case.

So I'm going to need you to sign this.

Rude. All right, well, it was nice meeting you.

Do you mind putting the evidence box in the system?

There you go.

It's evidence, please.

What have we got here?

Jeez, someone's shooting for a lock.

Excuse me.

Cartoon product cases go down to the basement.

Governor, we need threats.

They're taking them up to Blackman.

The law's completely on our side here.

Because we wrote the law.

Yeah, okay. Ready to catch up.

Maybe straight away on the platform, okay? Oh, it's done.

Let's just say the next vacation will be in prison, but I got something else.

Cartoon kids?

Basement? Yes, I think you need to see this one.

They're suing us for every acne cartoon product.

Oh.

Pay me the money you owe me, or I'll sue you for breach of contract.

Okay, I gotta go. Call you later, Mom.

Well, well, well.

It isn't our resident hot shot.

What does that mean?

Serving Acme for every one of their cartoon products.

Yeah, right.

Do I look like the guy who would take on the biggest corporation in the world?

You're looking at the guy who was taking on the biggest corporation in the world.

Channel 4 News has just learned that papers were filed today against the Acme

Corporation. Buddy Crane, Acme's chief legal counsel, declined to comment.

How did this happen?

It's okay. It's okay. It's exciting. All eyes on you, baby. Show them what you

got. Paige, when we sue Acme for some little thing, nobody even knows we're a

tiny item on the grid.

But this?

This went to Buddy Crane. Who?

Buddy Crane?

He's only like the best lawyer in the country.

Okay. He's a law school together, and he is a total machine.

Built like an arm. Mine is strong as a tack.

Scrims his fingernails with a switchblade.

You know, I once saw him eat a lobster.

Why eat a lobster? While it was still alive.

I'm not even sure that's legal.

What could I have possibly done to deserve all this?

That piss off a witch? No, no.

We can't.

Then how did this happen?

I just tagged up everything that was inside the box.

And I just dropped the box inside.

I've just been working on it for a day.

I've been on hold for two hours trying to win tickets to the country Jubilee.

any idea what you've done.

You have put me in such a horrible position.

Hi!

This is my old friend, Kenny.

Yeah, it's been a while.

Look at you, shaking things up. Well, not intentionally shaking, really. I

think we should have a face-to-face, don't you? Your face and my face?

Okay, looking forward to it.

From its humble roots as a cartoon animal factory, Acme has become

America's greatest success story.

Acme, I say, Acme is an innovation factory.

We create the impossible.

With each new product, we revolutionize industry and the world.

We're a company of family values. That value is family of companies.

Hey,

hey.

What are you doing here, Taylor?

I need you to listen to me very carefully. Stop.

You're going to follow my lead, right? We're going to tell you this is all just

a big misunderstanding, and we're looking to get this out as quickly as

possible. We will not get made explosive.

Got it?

Mr. Avery.

Phil Pelican and Mr.

Coyote. I'll take it to Buddy.

So I hear you guys were friends from back in the day, huh?

Yeah, you could say that if you were incorrect.

And look at this guy going closing out to him.

Hey, Buddy.

Look who's here.

Yeah.

This is Mr.

Billboard. How you been, man?

Yeah, very good.

Those are the days, aren't they? Yeah. Harvard Law.

You look... good.

Thank you. Have a seat.

Okay. I gotta say, I was a bit surprised to hear a name on a case this size.

Me too.

I mean, I'm so sorry about all this.

It's just a big misunderstanding.

Well, we got a really busy day around here.

I would hate to keep you from getting back today.

Whenever it is you do.

Yeah. A lot of stuff, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Oh, my God.

And it seems obvious, but I have to say that acting denies all charges and

accepts no liability or causal connection between Mr.

Coyote's colorful injuries and our same-yard, life-enhancing family rots.

Yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. And, you know, much fun is going to be back in

the courtroom with you.

I have time to do what you do best.

Settle. Yeah. Um, well, look, thank you so much, and I'm so sorry for taking up

all your time. It was unintentional.

Uh... No, no, wait a minute.

Do you have another copy?

It's a joke. No, no.

It's not funny.

Cartoons are supposed to be funny.

Yeah. You want to play the game?

Your time forms have matched.

Oh, and I almost forgot.

We don't validate parking.

Do you know what you can do with $50,000?

Do you have any idea how many burgers you can buy without it?

You know what? Not that it really matters, but I know. Yeah, that's right.

I'll quit and go find another lawyer. This is already my personal freaking

nightmare. And I'm not kicking around the kitchen to get any work.

Sorry.

Motherfucker.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Why didn't you settle?

That's what we do here. We settle.

Dottie, what do we do here?

We settle.

Okay, I tried to settle, but he wouldn't let me settle. He's a coyote. We're not

even trial lawyers.

I have a miniature golf tournament this weekend, so I don't even know if I'm

going to make it in on Monday.

Plus, trial prep adds up.

Photocopies in this economy.

But if we beat Acme, then we can afford a ton of photocopies. We won't beat

Acme. Nobody ever has.

And nobody ever will. The truth is, even if you quit right now, the firm is

already in the home rag with legal fees. And that's just from today.

I mean, that can close down our door.

Look, if we lose, we lose.

If we quit, we really lose.

A lot of money.

Look,

we got one true goal for you guys.

It's this.

We can't look like fools, all right?

Our job is not to win this case. Our job is to still be in business when it's

over. That's the spirit.

We'll talk to our lawyers. What do real lawyers do? They would find evidence and

start making a list of witnesses.

The bird.

He did witness every time an acne product malfunctioned. He could

corroborate why the story.

Sure, whatever.

Add the roadrunner to our witness list.

One more thing.

Where is Mr. Coyote going to stay?

All right, don't give me that look.

Yeah, I live in a motel. Okay, I got pool access.

You know, there's no mortgage.

I never have to make my bed.

There's an incredible all-you-can-eat seafood buffet around the corner. That's

if you turn that hotel room up and walk.

Hi, Jerry.

Yeah?

One minute.

Yeah, hi. I need another room for a few nights. Not near me.

He's not a pet.

He looks like a pet.

Who rents a separate room for their pets?

Come on. I've been living here for almost five years. You know me. No pets.

Okay. You want to do this? Legally speaking, a pet is a domesticated or

tamed animal kept as a companion in or outside an individual's residence.

This is Mr. Coyote. He is my client. He's not my pet nor anyone's pet in the

eyes of the law. And as such, that sign or any rule that accompanies it does not

apply to him. All right? It does not say no animals. And just my unbiased

opinion, he may actually have a case against you for discrimination.

Yeah.

He's on the road.

It's on you.

All right. Deal. But I would need a full workup of your analysis.

I mean, it's a motel. Plenty of people pee on the road.

Well, where'd he go?

a mouse breaks the sound barrier in guadalajara one week more to catch up

of a psychopath, aren't we?

Watch and learn.

So we take the subpoena like so, cover it with copious amounts of birdseed,

Roadrunner eats the birdseed, grabs the subpoena, and boom, he's legally

obligated to show up to court.

Instant Roadrunner trap.

Beep, beep. This is what I got against that thing with you guys.

Is everyone clear on our plan? No. Nah. Yes.

Paige, what's our plan? So we have to prove to the jury that P. Cartoon 5

fought for every accident that Wiley's had over the last year. So we are going

to take pictures and we're going to gather evidence and we're going to put

the evidence in little bags and we're going to interview experts and witnesses

and we're going to highlight big books and photocopy documents and we're going

to pound the pavement and we're going to study up and we're going to try to catch

a big eyewitness by leaving a nice note. in the desert, and if we follow that

plan by the end of this, we'll have enough evidence to take Anthony down.

We really have nothing.

I mean, I kind of assumed that we'd have nothing, but this is nothing.

Judicial Circuit of Albuquerque is now in session.

The Honorable Judge Tropa Grosso presiding.

You may be seated.

My name is Judge Trapagrosso. The name of the case is Coyote v.

Ashley. I am not a loosey-goosey judge.

I am a no-nonsense, no-sizzy-stuff judge.

Is that understood?

Mr.

Crane.

We live in a great country, don't we?

Because it's one that values freedom above all else. You're free to live your

life any way you see fit.

Because it means living in the desert.

Out in the cave, spending your days to never burn.

Much, much faster than you.

But that is your right as an American.

But that freedom, it comes with great responsibility.

If you're going to take a missile, For instance, in your glue and candle bar.

Tell them that.

That's your choice.

But we expect you to understand that that missile and those handlebars,

they're designed to catch birds.

What I will prove to this jury, that man, Wiley Coyote, he is reckless.

And all of his injuries are self-inflicted.

I mean, they won't condemn you or I.

We all know who's responsible.

In the clear desert sky.

I think I just laid an egg. God bless the truth.

God bless the truth.

Damn, that was really good.

Oh, please don't break that down.

And please don't break that down. Don't break that down.

Thank you.

Mr. Avery.

Now, what did the defense say we're going to argue?

Huh?

I mean, I know the answer to it. I know the answer. I'm not asking you a

question. I mean, it is a question.

But it's a question that I'm asking to me. Let me start over.

Let me start over.

Okay. So the defense said that we were going to argue

that the products are dangerous.

and that acne is negligent in selling them. I do really agree with all that.

Yeah, I mean, it's not fancy, but it's true.

Sorry, one second, please.

Finally, we don't need evidence right now. Mr. Avery.

Okay. Excuse me, Your Honor. My client would like me to show you this defective

acne rocket skate. And as you can see, there's a faulty on switch.

Opening arguments today in Coyote v. Acme. Sources close to the case report

that Acme is doing a fantastic job protecting their brand and dignity,

while the plaintiff appears hungry and afraid. More after that.

Yeah. Seriously?

It's the TV you're having a problem with.

Okay.

Who's this?

I can't tell you. I want to, but I can't. Are you sure you have the right

number? I think I may be able to help you. What?

I have information that could stop acne for good.

Oh my God, you could stop this case?

Well, who?

Where do I find him? Write this down. I'm only going to say it once. Okay,

okay. Wrap it up in. Hang on. Hang on.

666 Scary Road Drive.

It doesn't sound like a place I want to go. Look for a jack.

Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

And they make people disappear.

Don't forget that.

I won't.

Will I be able to contact you again?

Two birds, one stone. What a violent...

rock. We both know it would be very, I say, very unpleasant for everyone

involved if anything bigger, I say bigger, would become public.

Ah, mysterious colors. So cool.

What's up, Doc?

I have information.

Chomp, chomp, chomp. He was, like, chewing on a cracker or something.

Okay.

Well, Matt would think it should be right here.

It's just a wall.

Jack? What?

Is there a Jack anywhere?

Wait.

I'm done.

Oh, that kind of Jack.

Somebody's got a sense of humor.

There's the duck, and he is sitting.

Feels a bit easy.

Well, good thing I like you.

Excuse me.

Hi, uh, my name is Kevin Avery. This is Paige. I'm a personal injury attorney.

Well, look who decided to show up.

Oh, great. Thank you. I wasn't sure if you knew we were coming. You're a little

late, and you're still wearing that hideous suit. Take your pants off. Right

over there, please. And, um, take a pose.

Uh... No. It's so typical to find news models who say, sit down.

Uh. Masquerilla?

We're all right, thank you.

Disrobe and pretend you're thinking. I expect this is going to take a few

hours.

Yeah, um, we had an anonymous caller say that you might have some important

information. Yeah, information that can help us interrogate quicker.

Information?

Yeah.

About acne?

Acne.

Uh, yeah.

Acme. Acme?

Acme?

After all this, they call me Acme? The world is Acme! Acme?

Wait.

That's all, folks.

Are we the folks?

You think we're gonna get kidnapped?

Held to ransom?

Thank you

That looked speakably dangerous.

And yet he walked in anyway.

What are you doing?

I'm following Willie.

I just look like a loser if I stay out here.

Coming into the tunnel.

that they don't tell you to walk down mysterious tunnels in your fancy class

with your oxygen.

But they just encourage it, actually.

Actually, I thought about majoring in mysterious tunnels.

Oh, you did? Yeah, I did.

What have we got here?

Hey! I found a message!

What does it say?

It says, Daffy, I'm not sure how long I have...

I hope this message gets to you.

Things have gone awry with Project Sisyphus.

Sisyphus? What is Project Sisyphus?

Maxie is watching my every move, and I have a feeling I'm in grave danger.

Please send help. Dr. Lori.

Did I not say I'm speakably dangerous?

Didn't I say those exact words?

I did. Okay.

What could this mean? Project Resistance.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Chris? What?

What? What just happened?

What?

What? I need to go on to it.

Okay. So this is Interest-Risk Mythology.

And he was punished by the gods and made to roll a boulder up a hill every day,

but it would just roll right back down for its own.

And it was also at Daphne which came to that.

So what? Because that's not evidence.

None of this is going to help us win the trial. All right, it's all just a waste

of our time.

We have a clan who, no offense, can't read a warning label.

We have piles and piles of stuff that he himself broke.

We have nothing, Paige.

You've been settling Acme cases for years, and you have never stopped to

think and see a pattern. A pattern? Yeah. My clients go boom, and two

seconds later, they're fine.

Nobody cares.

So that makes it, okay?

Boom, $100, that's fair?

This case can make it, right? This is your opportunity to really show people

what you're capable of. Yeah, but that'll only work if I don't lose.

And why do you assume you're going to lose?

Are you kidding?

It is really super easy to lose.

It was better you learn that now.

You know, everyone thought I was crazy for coming here.

But I didn't want to just go to some big law firm and help the rich guys get

richer.

I thought, I thought you were actually still a real lawyer.

Yeah, me too.

So, uh, what is it about the Roadrunner?

There are no words.

What? I envy you, really.

It must be nice.

I used to have that, I'd say.

You know, I was hungry, and I was chasing.

But I didn't like the pressure of having to always win.

I got burnt out on trying.

Anyway.

You made it.

Well, you go a long way to make a point.

Uh, yeah, well, Phil's not. Is that going to be a problem?

Wiley, just calm down.

The only reason he's doing this case is to catch and kill the Roadrunner during

the trial.

That's not good.

It's all just part of the plot. He's using us to put the bird on the witness

stand. If the Roadrunner serves up the court, it'll be chaos.

I'll look like a fool.

If the firm will fold, we'll be mattress salesmen.

That's kind of the meaning to mattress salesmen.

Fine. We'll be garbage men. Come in.

Garbage people. My dad's garbage people.

I hate to suggest lying to a dog, but you're going to have to convince him

that the roadrunner will be there.

Great.

I'm already on it.

I was just wondering if a Dr. Laurie's still in here?

owl because he knew how much I loved him. We had 87 years

together. I am grateful.

Um, won't you talk to him when I pass away if you don't mind me asking?

Oh, he's not dead.

He's missing.

He went to work one day with our little bird and I never saw either of them

again. They told me he ran off with his secretary, but I don't think so. His

secretary was a penguin.

What can you tell me about Project Success?

Which day what?

Oh, which day is the roadrunner testified?

Any day now. What? Do you have any particular reason for wanting to catch

up with him?

Okay, well, I'll keep you posted.

I need this roadrunner.

Absolutely.

Why, Leslie?

He's the only one that's seen every time this moron used our product incorrect.

Can I admit?

He's holding a brush.

Go out there and you burn with me.

How hard can it be to catch a bird?

My husband was a head inventor of animated products at Acme.

He was so excited when he got the job. He wanted to make things that really

helped cartoons.

Like the anti-lump pump.

An eraser of stinky lines.

Oh, and this anti-predator spray.

After a while, things changed.

He didn't like what was going on.

And then... He disappeared.

Recently, I've been getting phone calls.

Sometimes they hang up, but sometimes... I

don't know the man on the telephone. I don't know where my dear husband went.

But I know Project Quick-Face is the reason he's gone.

Obviously, we hit a speed bump.

Does it itch?

Yes.

But I'm afraid to touch it.

You eyes and ears out there, what happened?

What did you see?

Well, I cut, I cut.

You cut, you cut.

I don't pay you to tink, you cut. I pay you to talk. I cut.

You talk or you don't talk?

You just said you talked, you talk. I did, I did talk.

What did you do?

What did you talk?

A breakdown on the eastern perimeter.

Ultimately, that's where he went off.

That roadrunner is very, very fast.

Step, you gave a bird to get him too close.

I just wanted to get that one. I want him to stop digging around.

You know what happened to Dr. Glory?

You want the same thing to happen to your granny? No.

Hey, great job, big dog.

Absolutely, sir.

Okay, another word.

Paige? Are you okay?

Oh, I'm totally fine.

I've always kind of wanted to throw a bomb out of the window, but I just never

really went at the right time.

But Dr.

Ward's widow gave me this tape, and I looked into his house and found that

there was something in the background.

That's the guy who called me.

Yeah, I know, but can you hear it?

I wish I could say more.

But Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

Hey, Wiley, is that happening?

That's enough.

Wiley, Wiley, Wiley.

I know this song. From where?

I don't know. It sounds like a TV show or an ad or... Wait.

Albuquerque's annual carrot festival.

Okay. What is that?

A festival of carrots in Albuquerque. It happens every year annually.

Do you know who called me?

Tell them we're from Avery Jones and Maltese. We're from Avery Jones and

Maltese. And show yourself at any time.

So, uh, what is up, Doc?

Who's there?

I'll never tell you, Mac. I'm a creature of the night. A shadow that moves.

You'll never figure out who I am.

Oh, my.

Oh, heaven.

You've seen my face. Don't look at me. I do.

Beautiful.

You've been bumbling and stumbling your way through this case for weeks.

You're lucky you have me on your side.

Hey, you've been followed, got eyes on you, caught by a red light camera,

spotted by a drone.

Have you been bugged?

This is just getting embarrassing now. Look, I got like a million questions for

you. Why didn't you call again? What happened to Dr. Lurie? And what can you

tell us about Project Tesla?

Enough with the questions, Counselor. This calls for a flash.

products, you see.

He built some amazing things.

Essentials, like the hook change machine.

One day, they sent an executive from corporate to oversee things. The guy was

a real good.

Suddenly, there was a lot of secrets.

They called it Project Sisyphus.

Under the new management, the test became increasingly reckless.

What was it all for?

They weren't inventing products for cartoons.

They were using cartoons to invent products.

Dr. Lurie told them this was wrong and that their tests were harmful to

cartoons. He pleaded with them to put an end to it.

But instead, he put an end to him.

Everyone who worked on Project Fisherman designed a mission.

And when did the program end? Don't you see?

It never ended. It evolved.

Instead of testing dangerous products in the lab, they let them out into the real

world. Yes.

Wiley's rocket skates, they were designed to backfire.

Now you're getting it. The more something breaks, the more a cartoon

gets hurt, the more data to make better acne products for humans.

Exactly, exactly.

Wiley, you're what they call a high-usage user.

They let you boom and splat and bang for years and years, knowing full well the

toll. When you testify to this in court, the world needs to hear this.

No, no, no. You need someone on the inside to spill the beans.

Get the head of PR at Acme to testify. He's a master of spin. His name is...

No one can get through that door.

Any added security is great.

Would you tell us your role in Acme, for the record?

Okay,

great. If there's anything wrong, we'll get him out of here. Done. And what does

your role as PR representative entail?

So you have authority to speak for Acme. What can

you tell us about Project Sisyphus?

Mr.

Devil, what is Project Sisyphus? May I remind you, you are under oath.

approach the bench.

The tape is turning my courtroom into a circus.

They just ejected my witness.

We don't know that.

Good morning.

I'd like to file a motion to exclude all evidence submitted by the prosecution.

Stay in the original pair of rocks. Motion granted.

Are you kidding?

Thank you, Your Honor. Now the response I'd like to file is only for dismissal

due to lack of evidence.

Motion granted.

I'm passed by this vote.

You're not allowed to say that.

That's the beauty of being a judge. I can say whatever I want.

Missed trial.

There, I say, case dismissed.

Case dismissed.

But it was not a surprise.

The Acme Corporation has knowingly been putting dangerous products into the

hands of cartoons for decades.

Acme has gone to great lengths to cover up an insidious plot that they call

Project Sisyphus. They have threatened the safety of myself and my clients.

Look, bongs, boulders, pianos, they will stop at nothing.

Myself and my associates, we will keep fighting.

These companies think they can do whatever they want and get away with all

of it. Because they do.

We're sick of it.

And it stops now.

We're getting ready to launch a... Excuse

me. Excuse me. Excuse me. More chaos in court today after the Acme trial was

dismissed by the very fair and honorable Judge Trocobroto.

The plaintiffs made their objections known by wrestling a six-foot cartoon

rocket. It's all good.

Nothing to see here.

Hey

Paige.

Have you seen?

What?

What? They like my speech?

Well, and the car building, I think, is a part of it.

Mr. Avery! Mr. Avery!

Mr. Avery!

Mr. Avery!

Mr. Avery! Mr. Avery! Any comment on Congress agreeing to hear your case?

Uh, uh, Congress?

Docs on Soghorn and Lakehorn agreeing to testify.

Did you say Congress? There's putting acne under the microscope. You're going

to D.C.

We're going to D.C.? We're going to D.C.? Uh...

Okay, well, uh, no comment.

Okay, thank you.

Hey, where are you going?

What? Wally, no, you can't go.

I need you in D.C. I mean, this is the big showdown. If you ever show up,

there's no hearing.

This whole thing will have been for nothing.

Is that a rubber, and I'll be there?

Yeah, of course.

He'll be there.

He's coming.

I promise.

So come on.

What do you say?

The whole world will be watching.

He'll be there.

The case of routine product malfunction has turned into a David versus Goliath

tale as old as time. I'd like to wish our furry little friend good luck in D

.C. We're Ruth and Boya Wiley, and we always were, from day one.

I'm sorry about that.

Please be quiet.

Wiley, please be quiet.

Look, I promise you what I have to do is more important than what you have to do.

There's been a change of plans.

He couldn't make it, all right?

Okay, fine.

Do you think I would drag the roadrunner out here so you could destroy me in

front of the entire world?

Yeah, I know you just wanted him in that courtroom so you could catch him and eat

him. Why would I help you do that?

Okay, yeah, I lied.

I lied.

I needed you to stay with this case.

But you know what? You lied to me.

Huh? You misled me. You made me think that this case was about them.

And it is.

You know, this is way bigger than the Roadrunner. Did you not even process

what the rabbit said? You're a high-usage user. I mean, look at all

this stuff.

You're addicted.

Every explosion, every time you fell to the bottom of a canyon, Acme wanted

that. You know, I changed around my whole life for you.

My entire routine is probably all going to blow up in my face because you wanted

a drumstick.

Oh, myself? You have only cared about your plan this entire time. Oh, the

roadrunner. The roadrunner. So sick of this roadrunner.

You're never going to catch him.

Okay?

You really aren't.

Stop crying.

I have to tell you this right before the hearing, but we spent every last cent on

this trial.

We're out of money.

So what does that mean? It means, unless there's some kind of miracle, there's

not going to be a firm to come back to.

I made you guys appointments to donate plasma next week.

I can't go.

I don't want to put this kind of pressure on you.

We just thought you should know.

What is the holdup?

I get a rough night, huh?

Oh, thanks for your believable concern.

Come on. You really want to go out there? I mean...

You know what came with it?

Shit.

What is this?

A third of the evil eye.

Fable of possibility.

That's no fun test.

That is under the table. That's for you.

All I gotta do is walk out this door right now.

I mean, come on.

Really? Well, I'll just keep doing the same thing over and over again. Try,

fail, try, fail.

Expecting a different result.

You look like a sentence.

Is Wiley here?

Is that with you?

I haven't seen him since we were 80 miles an hour on the highway strapped to

a refrigerator.

What the hell? I thought you guys were in a hotel next to me. It feels a little

shabby.

I'm really screwed up.

You know, if the roadrunner is not coming, he knows I lied.

Well, I'm sorry.

I should have been honest with him. It seemed easier.

Mr. Avery, thank you for joining us today. We are here to determine whether

an acne product are in danger at this time.

Where was your client?

I'm not entirely sure to be honest.

Clear the flood. Dr. Mr. Coyote hasn't deemed it necessary to break us from the

present, but the scheduled time should tell you all you need to know about the

cat.

I think this does tell us a lot.

But... My client has a long history with Acme. He's been using their products for

decades. Why is that? Is it so dangerous?

He doesn't have a choice, really.

Acme is a monopoly over all the tools required for Mr. Coyote's work.

His work?

I have here that he's unemployed and living in a cave.

It's a fact.

Pursuant to Sylvester B. Gonzalez, chased by Predator is a legal occupation

under the law.

He may not get a salary, but he worked.

In fact, he's one of the most hard-working people I've ever met.

He's brave.

He will walk out onto the tiniest rope over the largest canyon.

He'll straddle a rocket that he's glued handlebars to without batting an eye.

But when Mr. Coyote first walked into my office, I was the laziest

person you could ever imagine.

And I didn't want to work. I didn't want to try anything.

Because deep down, I didn't want to fail.

But he's not afraid of that.

No matter what happens, he picks himself up. He tries again.

And again, and again, and again.

He would never think of quitting.

He wakes up every morning with purpose and with hope.

And I think everyone should be inspired by that.

I've been studying this guy in interviews.

He's a blowhard. Huge ego.

Here I am, son.

Alright, then. I can work with that.

Mr. Legorg, are you aware of the ACME program known as Project Sisyphus?

I am familiar with the name.

Okay. And how would you explain the type of program that it is to this committee?

Well, it's one of research and development.

Great. So you're constantly innovating your cartoon product line to make it

better? Yes, sir.

Okay. That makes sense. But if you're studying these products so closely, why

are they malfunctioning so frequently?

That sounds like something you might tinker with.

Well, son, business is complex.

Okay, now, does any of the information that you get from Project Sisyphus go

into developing the human line? Sure. Sure. Okay, so you admit it. He just

admitted it. Did you hear that? He admitted it. You're intentionally giving

dangerous products to cartoons, willfully causing pain to millions in

this process?

You think progress isn't worth a little pain?

A little discomfort?

It is, son.

It always has been.

Besides, nothing we've done today or any other day is illegal.

Isn't that right, Mr. Craig?

Absolutely.

Absolutely. The law is completely on our side here, and so is popular opinion.

Thank you, Mr. Craig.

And another thing. Take a seat, son.

I'm... Asking the questions here. Take a seat, son.

There's nothing cuter than this prosecutor.

I am reminded of my days as a little rooster on the poultry farm where I

learned a valuable lesson.

Cartoons are resilient.

Hit it with a mallet. Throw us off a cliff.

We can take it.

Speaking of the cartoon, I think it could even be a little bit funny. Am I

right?

So what's a little pain for the greater good?

Pain is a part of life. And it's valuable.

that comfortable rubber in those shoes there, don't you, son?

Well, that's duty-free.

We developed it by bouncing it one million times off the face of a cartoon.

Those tornado pills became jet propellers.

That high-speed tonic got us to the moon.

So, yes, yes, our cartoon products sometimes do explode.

Sometimes they do backfire.

Sometimes... They push the boundaries of gravity and science.

But do you all want to live in a world without new, without progress?

Now, what is it you always say, Mr. Crane?

Can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

Well, that's right.

And in this case, if that egg is of low life.

Can you blow a desert dog with no connections, no family, no friends? I'm

sorry, but so be it. No arms, no bow.

That is not an accurate depiction of my client. Well, I was under the impression

that no one would speak on his behalf apart from his lawyer. Is there anyone

in the whole wide world who cares what happens to the coyote?

Mr. Runner, we will be asking you a series of yes or no questions. Two beeps

for yes, one beep for no. Do you understand?

Are you a

bird?

Are you easy to catch?

Okay, good.

Are you familiar with a Mr. Wile E. Coyote?

Have you witnessed Mr. Coyote using any acne products

while in your presence in the desert?

Have those products always failed?

Mr.

Runner, have you been a witness to Mr. Coyote's pain and suffering?

Would you call him a friend?

Well,

thank you, Mr. Runner. Thank you for coming here today.

Did you have something additional you'd like to say?

All right. The floor is yours to add to the record.

Mr.

Avery, I must admit...

I am very, very moved.

However, you have offered no proof of Acme's culpability other than the pain

and suffering of this one singular coyote.

Therefore, as much as it pains me, you leave me no other choice.

All in agreement to dismiss this investigation, day on.

hard feelings, boys.

It's a tough world out there. Better luck next time.

I think those are the birds you're looking for.

Go for it.

Well,

we tried.

We tried.

And thank you both for pushing me.

What the hell is that?

don't want us to act mean.

Even after how poorly you did, they helped you.

Hey,

can you believe that? Oh, something from your office apparently is very

important. Here you go.

Hey, Counselor, you put up a good fight at Congress, but nothing says guilty.

better than some cold, hot evidence.

Here's a gift from yours truly from inside the door, director.

What's that?

About five years' worth of cases.

And we got our work cut out for us.

Shocking new development in the unfolding acne case today.

Newly leaked footage from Project Sisyphus triggered a pre-dawn raid on

company headquarters that quickly led to the arrest of Buddy Crane, Acme's chief

legal counsel, and CBO Foghorn Leghorn for their participation in the alleged

misconduct. I'm a cage-free rooster!

Also at the scene, investigators rescued Dr. Peter Lorre, an Acme scientist who

went missing over 30 years ago.

His upcoming testimony regarding Project Sisyphus promises to bring the truth.

the writings.

Don't be a stranger.

Well, sky's the limit.

Sky's the limit.

Thank you.