Original subtitles

[phone ringing]

Hi. You've reached Samir's landline, which I just realized we have.

-Hi, Issa. It's Samir's mom. -Oh, my God. Hi, Mrs. Rahman.

-I'm talking to you on your phone. -How's the house doing?

House is great. House is normal.

Is Samir there? He's not answering his phone.

Oh, Samir? Samir...

Well, he's probably FaceTiming his girlfriend.

Girl to girl, your son's balls are in an absolute headlock.

There you go. I got an omelet for my husband.

-Watch out, okay? That plate is hot. -Thank you.

[Issa] Paul Baker.

-And an omelet for my "lovesband." -[stammers]

-What? -I don't know.

Uh, Anton, talk to Samir's mom. Paul Baker, you come with me.

Lina, hi. I heard you're in Paris.

-Where we going? -It's season 2, Paul Baker.

-We're doing a oner. -[Billie] See you again sometime.

Okay. Bye, Austin. [chuckles]

-Name's Dayton. -Dayton?

-Yeah. -Shit. Yeah, I knew it was a city.

I think I called him Austin last night, though.

-Obviously, yeah. -[Carly] Okay, now what?

Okay, now I'm in the kitchen with everybody. Say hi. Everybody, say hi.

-[Paul, Issa] Hi. -[Billie] Hi, Carly.

-Now I'm getting juice. -Ooh, a garbage strike?

Tr�s chic. Magnifique.

-It's your parents, Samir. So take this. -Oh, shit.

-Hi. -Hi, Carly.

-[Carly] Hi. -I'm freeing you from this FaceTime.

-[Carly] Thank you. -Okay, bye.

-Sweet girl. Perfect teeth. -Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

-Yeah, I'll tell them. -What?

[stammers] Uh-huh.

-It's about us smoking on the roof? -I took a shower on the lawn.

-I'm sorry. -Tell her I'm sorry about the fire.

-Okay. -[Issa] I'm really sorry.

Okay, Mama. All right. I love you.

-[Lina] Bye. -Bye.

The neighbors are complaining about the crop tops.

-Oh, come on. -That's homophobic.

Was it Doreen? Ugh, she's just bored.

[?? theme music playing]

Do you have the Wi-Fi password?

You're not on the Wi-Fi?

Oh, my God. You sent feelers out to all of these companies?

Yep. Ninety-seven of 'em. No more temp jobs.

Mama's getting herself a career this year.

Yes, she is. And mama wants to be a...

"junior compliance officer"?

Mama's casting a wide net.

-You trying to make mama feel bad? -No, mama, no.

-There we go. -We're on?

Great. Eyes up here! Okay, it's happening!

Oh, Samir, the newlyweds are talking!

[clears throat] So, in honor of Billie applying for jobs again...

[all cheering]

[all cheering] ...and Issa deciding that she wants to work

...and Issa deciding that she wants to work more than five hours a week...

Whoo! [chuckles]

-It's getting dark in this mind of mine. -[Anton] Yeah.

...we took the morning to comb through your social media

for anything fucked up or otherwise unemployable.

And the results are shocking.

[gasps] In a good way?

-No. -In a bad way.

[Paul] Very.

-Samir, sit. We're doing the scrub. -[Paul] And you are up first.

-Wait, what? -[Paul] Boom.

Jennifer Garner, I choreographed this dance for you.

Oh. What the fu...

Don't let the election get you down, girl.

[ ?? "Glad You Came" playing]

[Samir] Stop, stop. Make it stop.

And did this work on Jennifer Garner?

Yeah. Did she like it? [chuckles]

Yeah, we're dating still. Scrub it.

Wow. Samir, if that was on my Facebook page,

I would light myself on fire.

Well, get your matches, girl. 'Cause you're up next.

Wait, what?

Hi, guys. Today, I am going to be ranking the top ten worst accents.

[screams]

-First up, Jamaican. -No, no.

[Jamaican accent] You sound crazy, man. Stop talking like that.

And so if you search your name, this does come up.

Scrub it, Anton. Burn it!

You guys, I've been telling you, you have to bury your past before it buries you.

Yeah, guys. Why didn't you just delete your old accounts like I did?

[mocking] Oh, why didn't we just...

-Come on, Billie. -Yeah.

-Come on, Billie. -Yeah. -[Paul] Hey, Bills?

-[Paul] Hey, Bills? -Yeah.

-Uh, quick question. -Shoot.

Uh, what's "Cinco de Homo"?

-No. -[Paul] Mm-hmm.

-[Billie gasps] -[Issa] Oh, wow! Is that you?

No, no, no, no, no!

-Why didn't you just delete it? -Why didn't you delete your Facebook?

-It's not what it looks like. -It's never what it looks like.

-So then what is it? -It was a themed party.

-[Samir] Themed party. -You gotta do the theme, girl.

We were combining Pride and Cinco de Mayo into one weekend.

So, you dressed up like a gay little tortilla man?

What? How did you... I deleted my account.

Right, so, it turns out deleting your Facebook doesn't remove the photos,

but it means you can't untag yourself from the photos.

So, I can't even scrub it?

No.

-I... -But I just sent emails to 97 companies.

[Issa] Oh, mama. It's okay, mama. Here, come here.

Lots of companies hire racists now. It's okay.

-[Anton] You're gonna be fine. -Don't worry.

Okay, well, it's not our fault we got the Internet

when we were our most horny and stupid.

-[Issa] True. -[Billie] Yeah.

You're telling me that you guys never recreated

-one Mad TV sketch in middle school? -Yeah, I mean, sure.

But I have a real job, so I have to, like, scrub once a month.

Mmm, yeah, and I never had social media, so...

-[grunts] True. That's canon. -Mmm.

-[phone buzzes] -Oh, sorry that's the restaurant calling.

-Got to take this. Sorry, guys. -[Samir blows raspberry]

-Why can't we all be like Paul Baker? -He's like a digital virgin.

I know. His heart is so pure.

It's like untouched country snow.

[FaceTime call ringing]

Yo! What's good, biggest bros?

-Yo! Baker! -What's sloppy, toppy?

-Wait, what? -Who's Baker?

Yo, not much. Just taking the fattest shit of my life.

[all exclaim, laugh]

This is now, right? This is happening now.

Yo, Baker. You gotta get that cute little boy b-hole down here.

We're going psycho on some beef water.

-Come through, baby! -Baker!

[Paul] All right, bro. I'll slide, bro. I'll slide.

I'm trying to go horsey on some liquid shrimps!

-[all exclaiming] -Issa, did you choke him too hard?

-Show us your poo. -Show us the poo.

Show us the poo.

-[Paul] Boom! -Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Who are these men?

Who are these men?

I didn't even know he hung out with men.

[friend] Okay, we'll see you soon.

Show us your dick and we'll order you food.

Kill yourselves. Bye, guys.

[toilet flushes]

[door opens]

[Paul] Ugh. Sorry, that was my boss.

She needs me to cover a shift.

But I'll see you guys tonight for Bananagrams?

-Sounds good. -[Paul] Okay. [clears throat]

-[blows kisses] Kisses. Love you guys. -Love you.

[door opens]

[door closes]

-Follow him. Follow him, follow him now. -Yeah, yeah.

Go, go, go.

Oh, my God. He's not going to work.

Oh, my God!

Grab my shoes. Wait, no, don't grab my shoes.

-I'm wearing my fucking slippers! -[door closes]

At number nine worst accent is Japanese.

Oh, my... Just turn it off.

[Issa] What the hell is this place?

-I just... I don't get it. -I know.

-Who were those guys? -I don't know.

And why was Paul Baker talking like that?

[imitates Paul] Big bro, look what you...

He never talks to me like that.

He never talks to me like that. My whole thing is, like, I don't get why

My whole thing is, like, I don't get why he'd hide something from me.

-Like, I'm his girlfriend. -Yeah, and I'm his best friend.

So, if he can lie about this, what else is he lying about?

[intercom buzzes]

Oh, no!

[door buzzes]

[Billie] This is a nightmare. I'll be unemployed for the rest of my life.

[Anton] Billie, relax.

If it makes you feel any better,

Issa dressed up as Michael Jackson eight Halloweens in a row.

She went both darker and lighter.

-You're gonna be fine, okay? -You have to help me.

-Me? No. -Yes. Please.

Bills, I'm running on, like, nine hours of sleep here.

-I'm crashing. -You have to help me. Please.

You are the Scrub Daddy.

No. That's a sponge that got famous on Shark Tank.

Okay, you're the Scrub King.

And I am but a humble, unemployed white girl

who wrote "mucho gayo" on her chest at age 15.

-Why'd you do that? -[whispers] I don't know.

Help me.

[sighs]

-Fine. -Thank you.

Who uploaded it?

Uh, Danielle Walters, but I haven't spoken to her in years.

-[Anton] Wait, that's her? -Yeah.

Oh, my God. This is, like, mutually-assured destruction.

Just call her and ask her to delete it.

-Just call her? Okay. -Yeah, just call her.

-[ringing] -[whispers] It's ringing.

Yeah, great.

[person] Hello.

Hi, is... is this Danielle?

No, this hasn't been Danielle's number for awhile.

[scoffs] What?

What do you mean this isn't her number anymore?

Wow, Danielle really wanted to save Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Why is there a candle next to her name?

-What? -I'm really sorry.

-Oh, my God. She died. -I know. I know that too now.

-Anton, she fully died. -Her cover photo is a psalm.

-Oh, my God. -[Anton exhales]

Poor Danielle.

[clicks tongue]

It's so sad.

But what do we do about the picture?

Ay dios m�o.

-[gunshots on video game] -[?? hip-hop music playing]

Yo, dude. You're right. It is low- key way funnier if the butthole's a mouth.

Right? Wait till I do his balls. It's gonna really come together.

Thing is overflowing. I don't really know what...

-Oh, shit! -[all exclaim, laugh]

Yo, my boys are locked the fuck in.

Bro's Leonardo da Bussy over here.

-[all laughing] -Yo, Baker! Check this out, bro.

[all exclaiming]

[both blowing raspberries]

[doorbell ringing]

Oh, shit. Oh, yo, d-bell's going cuckoo. One second.

Yo, Baker. You going cuckoo for this D?

[all exclaim, laugh]

Your mom was going cuckoo for my D last night, bro.

[all] Oh!

He was fucking your mom and your mom was like, "Yeah!"

He was fucking your mom and your mom was like, "Yeah!" She was just slurping it.

She was just slurping it. She's slurping my balls. I'm gonna...

Oh, my God.

-Uh, what are you guys doing here? -What are we doing here?

[both] What are you doing here, Paul Baker?

-I'm, uh, I was... -[friend] Slide back, Papa Johnson.

We're gonna make his balls look smooth!

[Samir] Paul Baker?

I'm sliding, twin! Yeah, I'm sliding. That's crazy. Nah, the lore's crazy.

The lore's way too strong. It's way too strong.

Guys, I can explain.

-Can you? -Please.

[friends laughing]

This is my other friend group.

-Your other friend group? -Sorry-

It worked, "Cockathan." His balls look perfect.

That's crazy, Twinothy. That's crazy.

Nah, that's crazy, bro. You got me cackling off my ass...

-[Issa] Stop! -Please go home.

Please go home, guys. I don't want you seeing me like this.

Come home.

Come home. [friend] Hey, slide back, big bro! We're gonna test

[friend] Hey, slide back, big bro! We're gonna test if we got epilepsy!

-Why would you test that? -I'm sliding, pimp!

-[friend] Strobe's coming on... -[Issa] Why would you...

-I'm sliding, pimp. -[friend] Coming on in three, two, one.

-[mouthing words] -[friends cheering]

[friend] Stop, stop, stop.

I have it! I have it! Stop!

Stop, stop, I have it.

Hmm. "Decorative use only." Hmm, for soup.

Oh, Anton, Anton, that's her. That's Danielle's mom.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna shit myself. I'm gonna shit myself on my nice coat.

Okay. Shh. Breathe, Billie.

Just like you practiced, at me, the entire train ride here.

-Let's go. -Okay.

-Get anything. Grab it. -The hat? Right.

No, we don't carry that. Thank you.

-Hi. Just this hat, please. -Okay.

Wait, Mrs. Walters?

-Yeah. -[stammers] It's Billie.

-Yeah. -[stammers] It's Billie. Danielle's friend.

Danielle's friend.

-Oh, my God, Billie Schaeffer! -Yeah.

Ugh, I was so sad to hear about Danielle's passing.

-I know. -I am so sorry for your loss.

-But... -Oh, my God.

Um, I was actually looking at photos the other day, uh, from high school,

and I found this photo of Danielle and me at this party.

[gasps]

-Cinco de Homo! -Uh... Ci-Cinco de, uh...

-Yeah, um, but you know, I was- -I remember that night!

You had the moustaches and the maracas.

-Oh, maracas? -Oh! And remember the lisp?

-[Billie] No. -That lisp that you put on?

-So it was "Thinco de Homo. " "Thinco." -[Billie clears throat]

Was it a gay lisp, or was it a Spanish lisp?

-Both. -Both. That's why it was so clever.

-[laughs] -That's hilarious.

Billie, you didn't tell me about the lisp.

They were so creative and so interesting, it's...

-[sniffles, cries] -Oh... Oh.

It's just a little hard sometimes.

A-Arlene, I'm coming around.

-[sniffles] It's okay. Thank you, dear. -Anton.

-She's in mourning. -You know what? It's happy tears.

I worry the memories are getting fuzzy,

-and you brought back the memory for me. -You did that.

-Good. -[Arlene] And you know what?

We're always gonna have that gay... gay noche.

-[Anton] Yes. [chuckles] -Whew!

I can't, Billie. There's nothing I can do.

[sighs] Okay. That'll be 68.88.

-[Billie] Oh. -Probably, like, 1,200 in pesos, huh?

-Oh. Laughing through the grief? -[laughs]

-Oh, my God, she's Joan Rivers. -Yeah.

[both laughing]

I'm gonna be honest, it's the hardest scrub of my life.

And I got Fox to pull my entire season of MasterChef Junior.

Anton, every company will do a Google search and they'll find it.

No, they won't.

They have to scroll past so many photos of you at Six Flags,

-it's truly a firewall. -[door closes]

[Anton] Oh, hey. How'd it go?

How did it go with what? With our betrayal?

With... With our great big betrayal?

Good, I feel very betrayed.

You guys, Paul Baker has a whole other friend group.

-Wait, what? -[Issa] It was crazy.

That was not the same guy who asked to borrow my blouse to go to a MUNA concert.

What does that group have we don't have?

-Nothing. Nothing. -Those guys?

-I mean, like, our chemistry is electric. -It's amazing.

-We're diverse as a fuckin' brochure. -[Issa] Yeah.

Yeah. We have almost one of every one.

Also, I'm Paul Baker's straight friend.

Yeah. Boys like us, we have one straight friend, and-and he's mine, and I'm his.

-He-He's fluid. -He's fluid.

-He's fluid, yeah. -Whose side are you guys on?

-[Issa] Oh, hoo! -[Samir] Wow!

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear, he shall, he shall!

So... I'm-I'm sorry, okay? I-I didn't want you to find out that way.

Well, we did. We found out all about your double life, Mrs. Doubtfire!

-I never seen it. -Me neither. Is it a movie?

Just... Why did you lie? Are you embarrassed of us?

What? No. I-I-I lied because I'm embarrassed of them!

Look, those guys were my first friends in New York. Okay?

And we'd go out, and we'd drink and bet on sports and whip our dicks out,

and, like, rank each others' shits based on, actually, a really complex system.

-So what, you don't like them? -No, that's not it at all.

I fuckin' love those guys.

My heart, ladies and gentlemen.

-My heart! -[Paul] Look.

Those guys took me in during a really lonely time.

Okay? But then I met you guys.

And you guys talk about your feelings and give each other advice,

and, like, vote.

And ever since then, I've been terrified of you guys finding out about them.

-Okay? They're like my... you know, like- -Oh!

-They're your shame friends. -What?

It's like the group of friends you've had forever

who you can act completely fucked around,

who you, like, still use the R word with.

-Yes. Exactly. -It's like Billie's friend Onnika.

What? I'm not ashamed of Onnika.

-Oh, really? -[Issa] Wait, no.

We cannot have shame or secrets in our relationship, Paul Baker.

-I know. -Secrets rot relationships.

Like, why do you think my dad had so many affairs?

-Why? -'Cause my mom kept secrets.

-No, Issa. -No, Iss.

-There's only one solution. -[Samir] I agree.

-You gotta cut them out- -I'm inviting them over.

-No. No. -[Samir] No.

Yes, yes, yes. You have to let us in, Paul Baker.

Yes, yes, yes. You have to let us in, Paul Baker.

No, no, no, Iss, Iss, you will not look at me the same way.

No, no, no, Iss, Iss, you will not look at me the same way.

The two worlds cannot collide.

They already have.

[Billie] Oh, my God, she commented.

-Anton, she commented. -Wait, what?

[Samir] "It was so great seeing you today. Such beautiful memories. Ay caramba."

She bumped it to the top of the feed.

The Six Flags firewall has fallen.

-[Billie sighs] -Wow.

[objects Is this enough food? I feel like they eat so much food.

I don't get why we have to do this.

Samir, we have to show Paul Baker that he can be his full self around us.

Otherwise, like, where do you think he's gonna go next time he wants to play Mario?

-Get that name out of your mouth. -I'm telling you.

You have to be concerned about these things.

-Oh, my God. -Hi! We're here for lunch.

-Hi, boys. Hi. -Here they are. Here they a-

-Easy, easy. -Hello, ma'am.

Thank you for having us to your lovely home.

-Good. Nice. -[Issa] Mmm.

[friend] Thank you, ma'am.

-[softly] We got this for you as a sign... -Project.

[gulps] We got this for you as a sign of respect for your culture.

Now smile.

Tuck in your shirt.

Gay flowers, nice.

[Issa] So... Oh.

What's going on?

Let's eat! Huh? Let's go. You look gorgeous.

Look at you.

Pardon me, Issa, would you pass the beans, please?

-Sure. Black or pinto? -Um, bla...

What? What are you... What are you trying to say?

-Bla... Bla... -Do not say it. Do not...

-Bla... -Black?

-You can say black. -Bla...

-You can say... -You can say black.

-Ebony. Ebony. -Blergh.

Black. You can say black beans.

Pinto. Pinto.

Oh, by the way, I love Hanukkah.

I wish there was more nights.

Oh, I'm-I'm not Jewish, actually. I'm Muslim.

Oh.

Well, I'm a big fan of, uh... [sucks teeth]

What?

Jafar.

Fuck.

Jafar from Aladdin?

Nice. Princess Jasmine gave me my first boner.

[grunts]

You're the most Jewish-looking Muslim guy I've ever seen.

Chips are good. Oh, my God. Pass the guac.

Oh, my God. You know what I wanna know about?

What was Baker like when he first moved to New York? I'm so curious.

You have any crazy stories about Baker?

He was very, um...

-punctual. -Mmm.

-punctual. -Mmm. -And on time.

-And on time. -Same thing.

-And he never fucked a couch. -What?

-[table bangs] -Stop. Shut the fuck up.

Okay. I think we all need to just relax.

I think we need to be ourselves. This is a safe-

I have mental health! I have it!

-You said the quiet part out loud. -[friend] Mm-hmm.

Paul Baker, can I talk to you in the kitchen, please?

Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

I- 'Cause-

-Hey. -Why are they acting like that?

What did you say to them?

-Like what? Like perfect gentlemen? -No, Paul Baker.

-Like what? Like perfect gentlemen? -No, Paul Baker.

They look like chimpanzees killed a bus full of people and took all their clothes.

Before we sat down, Roach asked me if I identified as who or whom.

Cynthia Erivo. That's it. That's the whole sentence.

-Okay, Iss, I just wanted this to go well. -By tricking me?

No, I just thought you could meet them all once now.

Then again on my 30th. And who knows, by then they'll probably all be dead.

Oh, my God. You are still not letting us in.

Paul Baker, I can handle your shame friends.

Issa, trust me, you can't.

-[scoffs] I can't? -Issa.

-I can't? -No, actually, though, you can't.

-Oh. -Issa, no. Issa, please. Please stop.

-I can't. -Don't. Just actually stop, please, Issa.

-Issa. -Yo, kings! Bros, bros, bros! [chuckles]

Who wants to fucking darty?

[friends] Yeah!

[all chuckling, cheering]

[?? party music playing]

-Yes. Oh! -Bitch, fuck that!

[Issa] Hey, Baker.

-[Arlene] Honey, you were making a joke. -[Billie] And you're logged in?

-No, I know, Arlene. I know. -It was funny.

I know, but I'm telling you, it's what Danielle would have wanted.

Tell her I'm wearing the hat.

-[shushing] -No, she'll love the hat.

-[door bangs open] -[shouting, exclaiming]

[screaming]

Hi, boys. We're playing beer pong over here.

-[Arlene] I'm logged in. -Great. Yes, okay.

So, you're gonna wanna click the three dots, then click delete.

[notification chimes]

-There, I did it. -So, she just commented the word "delete."

Okay, so, Arlene, you just commented the word "delete."

-[Roach] Finish it! -Yes, yes, yes!

Roach, Roach. Don't piss in that plant, dude.

Your girlfriend said I could.

Baker's like, "Please, don't piss in the plant, please."

Hey, Baker. Your friend wants to paint a mustache on my face.

-I think I'm gonna let him. -[all] Do it! Do it! Do it!

-Do not let him. -She's my muse.

[Paul] That paintbrush has been places.

[Paul] That paintbrush has been places. -I fucking hate these guys.

-I fucking hate these guys. -Samir, just give in. Stop resisting.

[friend] Slide back, foot munch.

Shout the name of a random male celebrity. They'll love it.

Shout the name of a random male celebrity. They'll love it.

[friends imitating dog barking]

-Kevin James. -[all] Kevin James!

Yeah, my cousin's this kind of straight.

Gerard Butler, y'all.

[all] Gerard Butler!

You're a psycho, dude. They're foaming at the mouth out there.

[Samir chuckles]

-I can't deal with this. -Okay, okay.

Arlene, hi. I'm wearing the hat. [chuckles]

Okay, um, three dots, delete, my love.

[notification chimes]

-Oh, so, now it's her profile picture. -No.

Oh, and now it's her profile picture with the Ukrainian flag.

-I stand with Ukraine. -Three dots, delete, Arlene!

Three dots, delete!

Yo, I can just flag that internally for you, if you want.

What?

I work at Facebook. I could have my team do it.

-You work at Facebook? -You have a team?

Yeah, why? Is that, like, surprising?

-[groans] -Bro.

No, uh, that-that would be amazing.

Sweet, bet. But can you do something for me first?

-Um... -You like art, right?

[friends s Paul Baker, Roach just taught me how to dap.

Watch.

-Tobey Maguire. -[all] Tobey Maguire!

-[cheering] -What's wrong?

Anton, do you think I'm a piece of shit?

-What? No. -Really?

I think a piece of you is shitty.

Which is, like, honestly a relief.

It's like when we found out Obama smokes cigs.

-[friend] Hit it! -[all] Samir! Samir! Samir! Samir!

We're the boys!

See, Baker, you're the only one not being yourself!

They love him. [chuckles]

-[Samir] Ow! Cut it out! -[all] Samir! Samir! Samir!

-Stop. -They're killing him!

Oh, shit. Hey, hey!

[all] Samir! Samir!

[Issa] Paul Baker!

What the hell?

-I hate them, Paul Baker. I hate them. -[Paul] I know. I know.

-Make them leave. -Okay, okay.

[all mocking Samir]

Hey, yo!

Holy fuckin' shit, boys. Lock the fuck in for me right now.

For the love of fuck!

[whispers] It's him.

If I don't see four fucking teeny weeny little B sacks

carving straight tires out this bitch,

I'm gonna start going horsey neigh neigh on all this shit.

Comprende?

-Yes, sir. -Yes, sir.

-[panting] Yeah. -Yeah, that's our bad, dude.

I got a pressy tomorrow, but, uh, P.F. Chang's next week?

-Yes, sir. -Gotta take a deposition tomorrow morning.

Good luck, man. Have fun.

-Wait, do you all have amazing jobs? -Nah, I'm a teacher.

-Wait, do you all have amazing jobs? -Nah, I'm a teacher.

Love you. Deuces, big bros.

Paul Baker, I'm so sorry. That was...

-Went too far. I didn't mean for- -No, no, no, Iss.

No, you were right about the secret. No more secrets.

All right, from now on, it's Paul Baker,

with just a little bit of Baker.

-Okay? Okay. -Okay. Thank you.

-And one day, you'll meet Paul. -[chuckles] Wait, who's Paul?

-You weren't lying. You're an artist. -Thank you.

Guys, uh, mama, uh, got her photo scrubbed.

-[Paul] Ooh. -[murmuring]

What?

Happy Cinco de Homo.

[Paul] Bills...

-[whistles] And got it. -No, no, no, no!

[?? "FRONT LEFT SPEAKER" playing]

?? You can find me At the front left speaker ??

?? Find me At the front left speaker ??

This story is about the very first time that I ever saw porn.

Pornography, pornography, a porno,

an adult movie, erotica, "a girly magazine."

So, I love tribal print. I love it.

And this is a tribal top I got, and if you haven't noticed,

I love things that don't have sleeves because I like my arms to be free.

I love things that don't have sleeves because I like my arms to be free.

We're in Saint-Tropez.

Just Saint-Tropez. Oh, beautiful.

?? You can find me At the front left speaker ??

?? Find me At the front left speaker ??

-?? Find me At the front left speaker ?? - ?? Girl, where are you? ??

?? Find me At the front left speaker ??

?? Girl, where you at, though? ??

?? Call me back ??

?? Call me back ??

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