Original subtitles

Today in class we have a new classmate, Aubrey

Flint, and he's joining us from France.

Wow.

Oh, bon nuit. To bed.

Mom, look, bon jour! Mom?

Mom, wake up! Mom, wake up!

Mom, wake up!

Looks like it might be time for a new coat, my friend.

Although,

with the bleak winter now upon us,

perhaps fresh coats for all the men would boost morale.

Hmm.

I venture on noon, mon petit corporal.

Gentlemen,

bid us courage in battle.

Merry Christmas, ladies

and gentlemen. Merry

Christmas.

Good morning, Aubrey.

Far from it, Janet. Any chance of a good morning was ruined by me having to

battle through marauding hordes of Christmases.

I almost choked to death navigating that dreadful Christmas market.

The stench of mulled wine was unbearable.

En plain croissant.

And those ear-grinding carol singers.

Isn't it bad enough that we have Christmas forced down our throats every year

without having it trumpeted into our ears as well?

Mate,

what's taking so long? Just get your stuff and go.

I beg your pardon. Out.

What?

Now.

I'm so sorry, Jan.

Babbling on.

I didn't mean to lose you a customer.

Aubrey, don't worry. He is not the kind of

customer I want in my shop.

Now, you have a good day.

I'll try.

Mm.

See you tomorrow. Sorry.

Oh, bonjour, Aubrey.

Bonjour, Monsieur Hopkins.

Now, I have an old friend who's in dire need of a new coat.

Oh.

Le Petit Caporal.

Oui, monsieur, the very same.

Oh, one of a kind these.

Be worth a small fortune now.

Oh, the price some of these collectors pay these days.

Mr. Hopkins,

I'd never sell Napoleon.

I know that you wouldn't. I know you wouldn't, Aubrey.

Obviously,

if Napoleon is to have a new coat, then so too must his army.

Oh, but Aubrey,

this would take forever. Don't you have any plans for

Christmas?

Yes, I plan to avoid it altogether.

Oh.

I estimate if I start on the infantry tonight, I'll be putting the final

brushstrokes to the 4th Division of the Hussars when the last plastic Christmas

tree has been tossed into a skip.

Now, for the infantry, we will need

Prussian blue for the coats, obviously, dark vermillion for the cuffs.

Not to forget the metallics for the detail and the braiding.

Aubrey, Aubrey, history is all very well and good, but it's

important to connect with people in the present, too.

When was the last time you saw your dad?

You don't want to end up old and alone

with only dusty toy soldiers to keep you company.

I'd never let that happen.

I always dust my troops.

I'll fetch your paints.

If I don't look,

it won't exist. If I'm not there,

I can't be missed. So I'll stay here,

safe inside.

You go out.

Carl, come on. Excuse me.

I'll just hide.

You're late.

I'll just watch it from my room, that's fine.

I'll just watch it from my room, okay.

Don't wanna be the voice of doom. Soz, mate.

I'll just watch it from my room.

Now if there's one thing I love about Christmas-

Maybe you look good

having fun. But it's not a good look on

everyone. I'm at my best behind

closed doors.

I'll just watch it from my room.

Oh, blast.

Gloria.

Ellen, where's the fire? Have you come to rescue me?

Have you been smoking again, Gloria?

No.

Then why have you tied your tights around the smoke detector?

I was doing you a favor, trying to free up a bit.

Nice try.

Sorry about that, Sadie. Follow me.

Right everyone, this is Sadie.

Oh, hello.

Hello, pet. Ooh, is that him?

Yeah, it's him.

Well.

Has he got one? If you're going into town, could you put it on for a shilling?

£2.50 each way on Juni's Wish running in the

3:15 at Chepstow.

Got it.

Oh, stick a fiver on for me, will you, Ellen?

Yeah, but you still owe me from last week.

Yeah.

I'll see you all in a bit. So June's grandson is a docky,

so he sends her tips from time to time. She loves a flutter.

She's also mad on the bingo.

Right. This is you. I'll leave you to settle in.

If you need anything, you just let me know, okay?

Come on, Ellen, we'll be late.

It's outrageous.

Mr.-

You can't close Willow Lodge

... Mr.-

It's not right.

Mr. Forney, please.

I understand where Willow Lodge sits in your heart, and I understand why it does

so, but you've had your three minutes.

You've made your objections clear.

So unless you've got some additional or new information that you

haven't shared with us over the last six meetings, please

sit down and we can proceed.

There he is,

Hugo Fox, Mr. Blooming Gravitas.

Mr. Fox. Mr. Fox,

could you turn your mobile phone to silent?

Very well.

So in the matter of the sale of four

residential homes under application

378/378D to

Gravitas Luxury Apartments Limited.

Unless officers have any objections. No?

In that case, the sale will proceed in 30 days' time, providing

no lawful impediment manages to borrow its completion, title should transfer to

Gravitas Luxury Apartments Limited.

If I could just make one final point, the council will obviously endeavor

to rehouse the current residents of Willow Lodge in the new

year.

We'll scatter everyone to the four winds in the cheapest rundown places they can

find.

Aubrey.

A health warning, that's what this infernal time of year should come with.

Nearly slipped and broke my neck on that blasted snow outside.

Shh, don't mention necks.

Huh.

What a strange-looking fellow.

Unusual teeth.

Some sort of gum disease?

It's Dracula. Count Dracula.

Ah, so he's an aristocrat.

He's a vampire.

Dracula by Bram Stoker. It's a literary

classic.

Oh, really? Well, I don't read fiction.

History is real. Fiction is just made-up

stories.

All our lives are stories, Aubrey.

The history of Napoleon is just his story.

The history of Aubrey Flint is being written as we speak.

Ponder that.

Mr. Hopkins?

Oh, no. Oh, no. Please. Oh, not again.

Hurry,

Michael. Please.

Three weeks?

At least three weeks. That's a nasty fracture on your left hip.

I can't possibly stay in hospital for three weeks.

I've got a shop to run.

You can't run anything if you can't walk.

Three weeks, doctor's orders.

Oh, no.

Well,

look on the bright side,

at least you'll avoid all those dreadful Christmas shoppers.

I don't want to avoid people. The Christmas trade

keeps the shop afloat for the rest of the year.

Aubrey,

maybe you could look after the shop.

Me?

Oh, no. No, no, no, I couldn't.

Of course you could.

You know that shop like the back of your hand.

You know the models, the paint.

Yes, but I'd also have to deal with people.

The public. No, thank you, indeed.

Could be the making of you. Life is about

connecting with people.

Yes, but I don't like people. I'm repainting

my entire army to avoid people and avoid Christmas.

Please, Aubrey.

I've got nobody else.

Well,

I suppose, as long as it's only for a couple of weeks.

Trust me,

it'll be a breeze.

Thank you

very much.

No, no, no, go get him, mate.

Oh, lovely.

How would

you

feel

about that?

No, no, no. Yeah, no, thank you. Don't look at

me like that. Monday afternoon, you should be

at work anyway.

It's something to do in the off day.

No, off.

Gravitas, where luxury meets lifestyle.

If you're looking for a stylish and modern city apartment in York City Center,

you'll find your perfect-

Is that another Gravitas advert? You've got to stop watching those

... home available at-

Willow Lodge provides care for the elderly and the needy

Listen.

None of these people are needy.

Just listen to me for a sec.

That's why it was gifted to the city in the first place.

Just shut up and listen. I think I've got us a lifeline.

The Arts Guild?

We could put on a play.

I think it could save us.

A play?

We're not exactly the Theatre Royal, Ellen.

No, but if we can get the Arts Guild to recognize Willow Lodge as a

community arts venue, that throws a massive spanner in the works when it comes

to selling this place

How?

'Cause they're not just shutting down a care home, they're shutting down a local

theater space.

And the Arts Guild would have something to say about that, wouldn't they?

Exactly.

Janet, come in. Come in.

Aubrey, where's Mr. Hopkins?

He's in hospital.

What? What happened?

He broke his hip. I'm just running the shop until he gets out.

If you're running the shop, why is it closed in the middle of the day?

Because of the people.

Aubrey.

The public. Yeah, getting in the way, disturbing the models.

Their knowledge of historical military attire is, frankly, appalling.

One idiot wanted to paint an 1857 fuffenrock red.

Imagine. A Prussian in red? I just refuse to serve-

Aubrey, stop.

How long has this shop been closed?

Nine days.

Oh no, sorry,

10, plus today. 10 days.

Excuse me, are you open?

Yes.

No.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Here.

Now,

I want you to go and visit Mr. Hopkins.

Tell him I'm running the shop, and get him a card and a present.

What kind of present?

I don't know.

Maybe a new snow globe from Christmas Land.

I am not going to Christmas Land.

Mr. Hopkins is in hospital alone,

and if you visit him with a present, it will cheer him up.

Yes, I want to cheer him up. I just don't want to go to-

Aubrey,

you will go to Christmas Land right now and buy Mr.

Hopkins a new snow globe.

Understand?

Promise.

Oh, yes, yes, I promise.

Go on, then.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Hey, that's mine, that is. I saw it first, and you

jumped in ahead of me.

I certainly did not.

Give it here.

No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't.

Give me that snow globe.

No, I can't.

Give it

here now.

Hey, hey. Hey, hey.

Hey.

You just hold it. Hey.

Oh.

Yes.

Get off me. Oh.

Come here. Come here, you. Oh, the little

boy man.

What are you doing?

You're mad, you are. How can you do that to me?

You should be ashamed of yourself. Did you see the way he did to me?

A man of my age, he attacked me. Guard, elves.

Guard, guard, take him away.

He's a liar.

Thank you for coming to get me, Janet.

That's okay, Aubrey.

I'm sorry for all the trouble.

Aubrey, this is not the first time I've had to bail someone from a police station.

Am I going to go to prison?

No.

First offense, no prior convictions.

You will have to pay a fine, though, but that's all.

Oh.

Hang on.

Yo, bro.

Yo.

I don't know what-

You two, come here.

Hurry up. Chop, chop.

Right. Fred, Rose, take these, all right?

And when I say take, I don't mean rob. I know what you lads are like.

Take them over to the border, get them planted, eight inches apart.

No, no, sorry, sorry.

These are azaleas.

They're what?

Azaleas prefer ericaceous soil.

Okay. Do you know what I'd prefer? Shakespeare.

A week's holiday in Torrevieja with bona banana mama.

It's not happening, though, is it?

Right, they're Yorkshire plants and they'll be planted in Yorkshire mud.

Don't worry about it.

In this soil? No. No, no, no, no, no.

Absolutely not.

Right, you, get digging.

Nah, I'm with Shakespeare. Seems like he knows his stuff.

I've had enough of this. You're both getting reported.

Good on you, boys. Tell them to get lost.

It's not a ruddy labor camp.

Known for burying nuts, but they forget many, helping

plant trees.

Being a squirrel must be sick.

Their front teeth never stop growing.

Oh, who's put you two on the naughty step?

Gardner.

If you can call him that. The man's a horticultural Philistine.

Oh, Colin, what's he done to deserve that title?

He just doesn't care. He said it himself,

doesn't care that azaleas must be planted in ericaceous soil to thrive.

Oh.

Helen, you got a minute? These two, been taking the mick and

refusing to work.

That's not true. We tried to help, but he didn't want to listen.

I'm not having it. All right? I'm not having these jailbirds telling me how to

garden.

What are you chatting about, bro?

Well, do I lecture you two about bank robbing?

Who's... What's he talking about?

All right, Colin, let's take a breath, shall we?

Anna there, she's been giving me constant lip.

He's been picking on those boys.

I'm surprised you've been able to see that, Gloria, through the constant cloud of

smoke.

Oh, give it a rest, Colin.

And you know she's leaving all her dog ends again on the patio.

Gloria.

I don't know why you're even bothering with the garden.

We'll all be long gone by spring.

I can't work with these reprobates.

Hmm. Likewise.

Okay, I might live to regret this, but why don't you two help me out in

here instead?

Yeah, all right

Great. Problem solved. Thanks, Colin.

I'm Ellen. If you're going to be in here with me, you're going to be working with

the residents from now until Christmas.

We're going to help them put on a play, and a bit of a morale boost wouldn't hurt.

What do you mean, a play? Which play?

It's the quintessential Christmas classic.

"Kamikaze Christmas Cops 2: Back From the Dead."

No.

Obviously not. How are we going to do that in a care home?

It's "A Christmas Carol."

So, auditions tomorrow. Do you want to take one of these, so you know the story?

No.

No, thank you.

I don't read fiction.

I only read history.

You can't not read fiction.

Mm, that's a double negative.

Come on. It's a really heartwarming story.

No, no, I don't want it. Thank you.

No.

I'll read it.

See what this Carol girl's about.

Pretty random way to get into showbiz, eh?

Mm-hmm.

So, what you got planned tonight, Shakespeare?

I've just got some painting to do at my flat.

Oh, yeah? Kitchen, bathroom?

Yeah. Imperial Guard.

What's that?

It's my model army.

Oh, that is peak white guy right there.

I respect it.

I'll catch you tomorrow, yeah?

It's like a listed building, but for arts instead of architecture.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And we need a five-star rating from the Arts Guild

to get theater status.

Right.

So, you see why this play means so much.

The elders know what's really going on.

No, I don't want to get their hopes up. Their home's at stake.

It's a lot of pressure.

They'd want to help.

Get them all hustling together. You could save this place.

You don't have to do it all on your own.

Okay. No, you're right.

Let's muster the troops.

Big Ben.

What?

Well, sorry. Big Ben's actually the bell, not the--

To all intents and purposes,

that's Big Ben.

Right.

Okay, listen up, everyone.

We've got a plan.

We're putting on a play, "Christmas Carol," this Christmas,

and if it's really good,

it might help save the place.

We're holding auditions,

and these are the scripts.

It's not looking good, is it?

Come on, love.

Last week, I were one away from a full house, so don't win those.

Hi, ladies. Are you here for the "Christmas Carol" auditions?

No, we're here for the bingo.

Oh, dear. It's been moved to 5:00. Sorry.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

It all comes from offering room.

From the offering room.

Audition.

Are the auditions in here?

Yes, Maureen. Come on in.

Right. Who wants to go first?

We're not auditioning.

We're just here to watch.

Okay, we've got an audience, but no actors.

Harry. Please tell me you're here to audition.

Yeah. Yeah.

Jacob Marley's ghost.

Right. Okay. So,

remember, Marley

is a tortured soul.

Only in death does he realize that he's wasted his life.

He hasn't made any connections with his fellow human beings.

He's really separated himself from everything and

everyone,

and now his ghost is bound by the chains of his labor for

eternity,

which is why he's so, so, so miserable.

Right. Yeah, right you are.

Off you go, Harry.

Captive, bound, and double ironed.

I wear the chain I forged in life. I made

it link by link and yard by yard.

My spirit doomed to wander through the world.

I need my ears on.

Oh, Murray Mints. Yeah. Oh, and my secret stash.

Thanks, Harry.

Ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.

Yes, Ned. Great.

What are you doing for us?

I haven't actually read any of the parts.

My agent says I'm too big to audition.

Speak up, we can't hear you.

What was that, Maureen?

I said you'll have to speak up, Ned. I can't hear you.

I'm sorry, Maureen, can you speak up? I can't hear you.

Gotcha.

Okay. I'm sure we can find something for you, Ned. Thank you.

Man needs his own show.

Let's see what else we've got to work with.

Hmm.

Some may call me nonchalant, blase, and carefree.

But they can call me what they want, because I'm all right with me.

I'm happy walking my own path and singing my own song.

I'm making it up

as I go along. Easygoing, casual,

that's my cup of tea. Some may find it

laughable when you're affable like me.

If I don't have a plan, my plan can't go wrong.

So I'm making it up

as I go along. If I don't have a plan,

my plan can't go wrong. So I'm making it up.

Hee-hee. As I go along.

What am I doing?

Look at them.

They're buzzing.

Yeah, that's not so bad, is it?

No, it sure-

You're right, they are.

Okay, let's crack on.

We need more biscuits.

Yeah.

I'll go.

Thanks, Aubrey.

Marley was dead to begin with.

There is no doubt whatever about that.

The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk,

the undertaker, and the chief mourner.

Scrooge signed it, and Scrooge's name was good upon

change for anything he chose to put his hand to.

Old Marley-

Hobnobs. They're baying for Hobnobs out there,

and trust me, dark things happen when they don't get their McVitie's.

Let them eat cake.

Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, that's

Marie Antoinette,

uttered in response to the French famine of 1789, although its

attribution is disputed.

That's why I read history, you see.

I see you've been dipping into some fiction, too.

No.

Dear me, no. No, no, no, I was just sort of admiring the

cover.

Never judge a book by its cover.

Take it with you if you like.

No.

No. No, thank you.

I'm off to

feed the masses and quell the revolution.

How was your job?

Let's read that again. Sorry, just one sec.

Sadie,

have you come to audition?

Too late, yes?

It's over, yes?

No, not at all. We're just having a tea break.

Come on in.

It's okay.

I've

never actually acted before.

I'd like to give it a go.

There's no pressure here. You're going to be fine.

I'll read any other lines, okay?

Sadie's going to read one of Scrooge's speeches for us.

Do you want to stand up?

I don't

make--

I don't merry-- make...

I don't make merry myself. Can I

start again?

Of course. Take your time, there's no rush.

I

helped

support the prisons and the

workhouses. They cost enough,

and those who are badly off must go there.

Many can't go there, and many would rather die.

If they would rather die,

they had better do it,

and

decrease the

surplus population.

Very good.

Well done.

That was lovely.

Gloria,

did you-

I wish to be left alone

... want to-

Since you ask me what I wish, that is my answer.

I don't make merry myself at Christmas, and I can't afford

to make idle people merry

I help to support the prisons and the workhouse.

They cost enough,

and those who are badly off must go there.

I've heard it said many can't go there,

and many would rather die. Well, if they would

rather die, they'd better do it

and decrease the surplus population.

I live in such a world of fools as this

Merry Christmas. Out upon Merry Christmas.

If I could work my will,

every idiot who walked around with Merry

Christmas on his lips

should be boiled with his own pudding

and buried

with a stake of holly through his heart.

You keep Christmas your way, and let me keep it in

mine.

Bye, Allie.

Oh, Aubrey.

Go on.

I don't usually lend this out because it was a present from my mom, but she

always said the greatest gift you could give someone is a story.

Plus, you can't be AD if you don't know the text.

Anno Domini?

Assistant director.

Assistant d... Oh, no, I couldn't. What is it?

Going to have to read it now, Aubs. Be disrespectful not to.

What's in a book?

A word or two.

Somewhere to dwell

or flick right through.

Go take a look.

What's in-

Aubrey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, you sit down.

You're still recovering. I just need

two new brushes

and a top-up of malachite green.

A Christmas Carol. Wonderful. Great to see you're reading fiction.

Well, not really. Somewhat foisted upon me.

Well, there are worse books to be foisted upon you.

Dickens was one of the greatest social historians of his time.

Hmm.

Was he really?

Mm-hmm.

A bientot. Remember to rest.

Tout à l'heure.

For breaking hearts and giving

thrills. Such women and fellas

with their plays and novellas.

Oh, what a punch they pack.

What's in a book?

In a paperback.

Poems, stories, facts, and

prose. Go turn a page,

put in your nose.

Hungry minds,

they come to feed.

Mind, I don't mean to say that I know of my own knowledge what

there is particularly dead about a door-knocker.

I might have been inclined myself to reckon a

coffin...

But Gloria's mad better. She's like a proper actor.

She's like Robert De Niro or like Amy Lee Chung.

Who's Amy Lee Chung?

From Kamikaze Christmas, cops two. Winston's partner with the flamethrower.

She drove the tank.

I just don't know if it's the best thing for the group, giving Gloria

the part. You saw what happened after her audition.

Everyone was intimidated. It was like there was a sense of competition all

of a sudden.

Okay. What about when the art slot sends someone to come and see the show?

We need to impress them, which means we need the sharpest actor for the lead.

Yeah, but we need everyone on board, and I just think people work better

together when there's a sense of camaraderie.

Like when Sadie was nervous, everyone was so encouraging and

supportive. That's what we want.

Well, I think Coogan's right.

Gloria was by far the best actor.

However,

on the day that we met, Ellen said that she wanted to do something fun and

social and also that a little morale boost wouldn't hurt.

I did say that, yeah. Well done, Mr. Memory.

Thank you.

So,

if they're at their best when they're having fun, that can only be for the good of

the play.

Therefore,

with that in mind,

I think we should give Sadie the lead.

Looks like we have our Scrooge.

Good luck to Helen De Niro.

Okay.

First thing to say is you were all fantastic.

It isn't easy.

Come on, get on with it. The suspense is killing us.

All right. Well, seeing as though you're so full of beans, Ned, we think you'd be

great as the spirit of Christmas present.

Whoa.

For Scrooge, we had two brilliant auditions from

Sadie and Gloria. We all agree that either of you would be great in the

role,

and this time

we've gone with Sadie to play Scrooge.

Gloria, we thought your audition was so engaging.

We'd like you to-

Waste all of our time, get our hopes up for nothing.

Do you really think the stupid play is going to save this place?

We're all going to be turfed out after Christmas anyway.

Yes.

That was, "Yes, what is it?" Not, "Yes, come in."

Sorry.

Well, what is it?

I just, I wanted to come in and-

Well, you're in now. So?

Oh, thank you very much. These are mine anyway.

It's off.

Oh. Do you want one?

Patches.

Yes, sit down.

I know you could play Scrooge better than anyone.

Go on.

We all saw it.

Just had Sadie telling me that I should give you the part.

So?

You clearly know how to cast a spell over an audience, Gloria.

So I'd love for you to play Dickens

and really tell this story like it's your own.

I know I could be making the wrong choice,

but if Sadie can get up there on stage and

do this,

it would do wonders for her confidence,

and it might even inspire the others.

God knows we need everyone.

When I was a teacher, nine times out of 10, my school plays were terrible.

In one nativity, baby Jesus locked the three wise men in a props cupboard.

I can't remember who said it,

but we don't stop playing because we grow old.

"We grow old because we stop playing."

George Bernard Shaw.

Is that who it was?

Irish, you see.

They have a very special way with words.

Well, regardless of whether you decide to be in the play or not,

I want you to know that your audition was spine-tingling.

It really was, Gloria.

I can't promise you we're going to put on the best version of A Christmas Carol

that's ever been put on,

and I have no control over what the arts guild decide.

But I can promise you we're going to give it our best shot at

saving this home.

It gets dark so early now.

Yeah.

I could walk you home if you like.

That's all right. I don't have far to go.

That's all right. I'll walk you.

All right. Thank you.

Look,

Ellen,

I know I act the fool or whatever sometimes, but deep down, I'm like a

sensitive guy.

This is me.

What?

You live here?

Yeah, me and my dad.

Oh.

So

what's the story?

Well, my dad was the warden here for like 20 years.

Gave his life to this place.

I used to run around here as a toddler, believe it or not.

And then,

irony of life,

he got sick and became a resident,

so I gave up teaching and stepped into his shoes,

became the warden.

Good for you.

You look stressed.

Yeah.

It could be everyone's last Christmas here.

It's rubbish, isn't it?

The way society treats old people.

Yeah.

It's shameful.

Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah.

Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Coogan?

Yeah?

Thank you for walking me home.

Shut up.

I could've got lost.

"Yes," said the child, brimful of glee.

"Home for good and all. Home forever and ever.

Father is so much kinder than he used to be, that home is like

heaven.

He spoke so gently to me one dear night when I was going to bed,

that I was not afraid to ask him once more if you might come home.

And he said, 'Yes, you should,'

and sent me in a coach to bring you."

Yeah. So, obviously, we want to

take this whole area down, but can't start that till the new year. Hey.

You watch where you're going?

I'm sorry.

Idiot.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

You can't talk to him like that.

What are you doing here?

Miss Hornby, isn't it?

Yeah.

Nice necklace.

I asked what you're doing here.

I'm just showing my building contractors the site.

The site?

It's not a building site yet. People live here. It's their home.

Alas, not for much longer.

Get out.

Hmm?

Get out now.

Ooh.

Feisty little firecracker, isn't she?

Shall we?

What a horrible man.

Vile.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. You okay?

Yeah.

Okay.

Ah, Sadie.

Now, listen-

I think you should play Scrooge.

Now,

stop all that.

You've been cast.

Listen, Sadie,

I used to be an actress.

I got my first part when I was 19,

and I worked on the West End for a bit.

But as I got older, the parts dried up.

But I remember

that very first opening night.

Just before the curtain went up,

I found myself paralyzed with fright.

All I knew was that there was no way I was going to walk out onto that

stage in front of all those people.

And then

an angel appeared,

an Irish angel.

His name was Daniel Valdair.

Handsome.

Sadie, he was gorgeous.

He was playing Oberon, and I was playing Titania, and he'd come to wish me good

luck.

But he saw that I was a quivering wreck.

And then he did the sweetest, most

unexpected thing.

What did he do?

I'll show you.

Come with me.

He led me to the window,

and he said, "Look.

Wait till I show you."

And he really made me see.

Look, that lady

with her shopping bags laden down.

She can't afford the bus because she's had her hours cut at work, and she's

thinking,

"Maybe I should take that extra cleaning job.

I barely see the kids as it is."

And what about that poor soul?

She's remembering being a little girl in Glasgow, wondering

where the years have gone.

When she used to dance in the kitchen at Christmas with tinsel

in her hair and pretending to be Judy Garland.

"That's the real world, Gloria,"

Daniel reminded me, "and it's awful tough.

But what we do on the stage, it's just playing, so

go out there and have some fun."

And it worked.

I went out and gave the performance of my life.

That's what we have to do,

just play and have some fun. And I'll help you,

if you'll let me.

On one condition.

What?

You tell me all about your theatrical adventures.

I should've been locked up for half of them.

So,

what did you do?

Wondered when you were going to ask that.

So,

one night, I'm on my way home from the gym.

I cut down an alley,

and out of nowhere,

two guys charge around the corner, run past me.

A few seconds later,

three guys come around the corner and dive straight at me.

I don't know who they are, so I protect myself.

Next thing I know, I'm in handcuffs.

Police, plain-clothed.

I got done for assaulting a police officer.

Judge said because it was my first offense, gave me the option of community

service, so.

My word against three feds swearing on the Bible. Yeah.

Not a chance.

I see.

That's them paying back society, is it?

Tea and biscuits. No wonder this country's on its knees.

Shut up, Colin.

I'm not surprised this home is doomed.

Hello, mate. You all right? Good.

How is it that you know everyone?

What can I say?

I come through here every day. Just get to know people.

Yeah. But how? Because I come through here every day, and nobody ever says hello to

me.

Do you say hello to them?

Well, of course not. I don't know them,

so.

Just smile and say hello.

Nine times out of 10, they'll say hello back.

Next time you see them, they're not a stranger

Oh, look. There's my mate, Kev. What's happening, Kev?

Hey now then, Coogs. How's tricks?

Yeah, good, man. You?

Yeah, can't complain. Just doing a bit of a renovation, get the reddies in for

Crimbo, you know?

Yeah.

This is my mate, Aubrey. Aubrey, this is Kevin.

Aubrey.

What a great name. Hey, lovely rocking there. Looks proper cozy, that.

I got it in Boyes's.

They also stock them in blue, red, and gray.

Boyes's, right. It would be red for me, mate.

Hey, you on for footy Sunday, Coogs?

Yeah, I'll be there.

It won't make much of a difference. We're sending a man down.

Yeah, why don't you ask Santa to bring you a decent right foot for Christmas?

Maybe then you'll score for once.

Anyway, no rest for the wicked. Nice to meet you, Aubrey, and I'll catch you later,

lads, yeah?

Yeah, man.

See? Now Kev's a mate.

So,

you and Kevin both play football even though you're not very good?

No, we're both decent. It's just banter.

Like jokes.

You know,

if someone's good at something, you say they're crap at it.

Do you get it?

Not really, no.

Like, he's actually a good player, but I just go like-

Okay, why don't you just say that, though? Because that's a compliment.

No, because it's banter.

They were in the room where young Scrooge and the girl had last spoken.

It was very plainly furnished, but everything had been arranged with

such care and purpose that its meaning could not be

mistaken.

Some hope had been cherished there,

some dream of what might be.

Hello.

Mr. Hopkins, how are you feeling?

Oh, good.

I

have a favor to ask.

Hello, Clarence.

There's somebody that I'd like you to meet.

Aubrey tells me you're quite the craftsman.

Well.

Now, the thing is,

if we're going to put on a proper show, we're going to need a proper set.

Grace,

Leon. We wondered if you'd like to join us.

We'll take bits and pieces, odds and ends, and lengths of knicks and

knacks. The front of lots of thingy bobs with different sides and

backs. With pencil lead and needle thread, we'll soon make a

start. Me and you, wood and glue, we can make a work of

art. With what we've got, which ain't a lot, we can make a work of

art.

With what we've got, which ain't a lot, we can make a work of art.

Old pubs, the hot tub, everything. Now, all this has gone. Out with the old.

You've been to the Burj Al Arab in Dubai, I take it.

Oh, yeah.

Now, you know with their stunning atrium?

Mm-hmm.

I want to do something similar here, you see.

Not if our plan works, you won't.

What? What plan? We've got a plan?

Well, the play is the plan.

I thought it was A Christmas Carol.

Yes, Godfrey, it is A Christmas Carol, but

Ellen says if we can put the play on, we can save the

home.

How can putting on a play save the home?

Can't remember exactly, but it can.

Oh.

Ellen's sure of it.

Oh.

Tea, with biscuits.

Great. Okay, let's try that section again.

A little bit more energy, maybe a bit louder.

Louder. Hither come hither, Mr. Scrooge.

I'm sorry. It's just completely wrong.

Ah, yes. Okay. Well, you two-

Ellen, you got a moment?

Yeah. Aubrey, can you take over?

What?

Sorry, Dad.

Hey, we're waiting.

Oh, no.

It's from the Arts Guild.

Oh, blimey.

I didn't think they'd reply so quickly.

Well?

Ellen,

what have they said?

They're sending Wendy Mallet.

"Fear me.

I am the Ghost of Christmas Future."

Oh, no. Stop. That's wrong again.

The correct line is, "Fear me. Fear me." No?

You say it twice. Right. And then you say, "I am the Spirit of

Christmas Future." Not the ghost. No, no. The spirit. Okay?

So let's do it again, and this time if you could try to remember your lines and

just sort of act better.

Act better? Is that a direct quote from Spielberg, or are

you paraphrasing?

Why don't we take five, Aubrey?

Take five what?

Minutes.

Oh, yeah. Good idea, Gloria. Let's take a five-minute break,

everyone.

Aubrey,

can I give you a little bit of advice?

Yeah.

When you're directing actors, you daren't be too direct.

You've got to coax them.

You know acting's not just about learning lines.

It does take a bit of courage to get up in front of each other,

and your actors need to trust you,

and you need to trust them, actually.

Just give them simple, clear instructions

with a bit of encouragement

and maybe a compliment or two.

Mrs. Cratchit.

Maureen.

Sorry.

Maureen.

Simple instructions and then maybe...

Okay. Let's go from, "Bless your heart

alive, my dear."

Oh, uh...

And I like your jumper.

Sorry?

I like the little duck.

Oh.

Thank you.

Yes, he's rather sweet, isn't he?

Where did you want me to go from again?

Oh,

let's go from the top of page

21.

Yeah, there was some concern about nesting birds, apparently.

When the daylight assesses- Out of the park.

Those coffin dodgers down at Willow Lodge think they can stop me from buying their

little home.

I don't know what you're talking about, honestly.

You know I can make life very difficult for you if that happens, don't you, Milton?

So how come you've never been to the pub before?

Never went for after-work drinks?

Dad never took you for your first pint?

Thank you.

Me and my dad,

no.

We haven't really talked much since.

So

who's Wendy Mallet?

She is the chief executive of the Arts Guild.

I thought they'd send someone local to assess us.

I didn't think they'd send the big boss up from London on Christmas Eve.

Must take her job very seriously.

Oh. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about.

So the play's got to be banging.

Yeah. We need Wendy's approval to get accreditation, and we'll have to draw in

a decent audience so that we can show that we're part of a wider

community.

Maybe we could put an ad in the local paper.

Yeah, we could try.

I'm not sure an ad in the Gazette's going to cut through all the festive noise,

though.

I can't bear the thought of losing Willow Lodge.

Mom, look, the ponies. Mom? Mom, wake up!

Mom,

wake up!

Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all and

infinitely more.

And to Tiny Tim, who did not die,

he was a second father.

Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them

laugh,

and it was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas

well if any man alive possessed the knowledge.

May that be truly said of us and all of us.

And so, as Tiny Tim observed, "God

bless us, everyone."

"There's no time like the present," said the turkey to the

pheasant. Life's a gift. Life's a gift.

Life's a gift.

And it sure does make you grateful if you don't end up a

plateful. Life's a gift. Life's a gift. Life's a gift.

It's all about the feeling, the giving and receiving.

Good morning.

To give so from the heart, not the mall.

Helen,

what's wrong?

Oh, no.

Not Mr. Fum-

I don't want to cry today.

I don't want to cry.

I don't want to cry today.

These tears are going to make me cry.

I can't see the sky today.

I can't see the sky.

Snow is in my eyes today, and these

tears are going to make me cry.

I don't want to cry today.

I know with the way you're feeling now,

you might not believe me, but when we lose someone we

love,

we don't ever

really, truly lose them.

We may

lose their physical presence,

but their spirit stays with us,

stays within us.

Take

time

to grieve,

Aubrey.

But don't you disappear.

Hi, Aubrey, it's Ellen. Just checking in to see how you're doing.

Hope you're okay.

We're all getting ready for the dress rehearsal. It's very exciting.

You'll have to speak to my daughter. She can deal with this.

Very happily, Mr. Formby, as I say.

I can't do it.

We'll have to go through the-

Right.

Miss you, mate.

Ellen, can you come over here for a second?

What's going on?

This is Adrian. He's from the council.

I've been trying to explain to him-

Adrian Tanner,

Health and Safety Executive.

Right. Okay. What's-

Do you like your residents barbecued?

What?

This whole set, the lighting, the electrics, it's all potential fire

hazards,

and you don't have a rear fire exit.

You do realize if there was a fire here, everybody in this backstage area

would be trapped. It's supposed to be a care home, isn't it? Not a death trap.

Now, there's a Section 7 violation of the Health and Safety at Work Act,

which means the show's canceled.

What?

Merry Christmas.

Everyone, can you just gather around for a moment, please?

I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

The play's been canceled.

No.

What?

Why?

There's a health and safety issue.

Who cares about health and safety?

I know. I'm so sorry. It's the council.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Ah.

Oh, no.

You have two new messages. First message received December 21st

at 9:55 a.m.

Hi, Aubrey, it's Ellen. We wanted to check in to see how you're

doing. Everyone's getting ready for the dress rehearsal.

It's exciting.

Listen, I know it's a tricky time, but if you can make it, we'd love

to see you.

Miss you, mate.

Next message received December 21st at 10:20 a.m.

Hi, Aubrey, it's Ellen again.

I've got some bad news, I'm afraid.

The play's been canceled. We're all a bit shell-shocked.

I guess the care home's

shutting down for good

We had a health and safety check, and we failed because we

don't have a backstage fire exit. I've called

around the whole of Yorkshire trying to sort something out, but there's no chance

at Christmas.

Kevin.

Kevin. Kevin!

I like your cap.

Cheers, Aubrey. Fashion icon, you.

Oh,

and your football skills leave much to be desired.

Right.

I see you're getting the hang of banter.

Um-

Yeah, just give me 30 seconds, mate.

Okay.

Jeez, I don't know, Aubrey.

It's going to be tight to get it done time-wise.

I've got to find half a dozen lads who are willing to just drop everything right

before Christmas to try and get it done.

And then there's the cost.

You're talking north of £10,000.

Have you got that kind of money?

It's going to break my heart to smash this set up.

I can't believe it.

Everyone's hard work for nothing.

Harry, have you been sharing our secret stash around again?

Go and have a look backstage.

Let's get this fitted.

Kevin.

Hey. All right, Cooms?

What's all this?

I saw Aubrey this morning. He told me your lot was all over Craig without a

shovel.

Darling, this is wonderful, but I don't know if we

can afford it.

Hey,

don't worry about it. It's already been covered.

Aubrey.

Natalie.

Aubrey.

Oh, Laurie. Thank you.

Aubs,

you absolute legend.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's your 30-minute call.

Half an hour to curtain.

Half an hour. Come on.

Half an hour. Are you happy with this?

Okay, everyone.

This is it.

You're all incredible.

You've worked so hard.

Now, I just want you to go out there and enjoy yourselves.

Let's make Mr. Hopkins proud, and let's save this home.

There's a couple of the football lads.

Didn't have them down as big Dickens fans.

There

she is.

That's Wendy Mallet. I recognize her from the website.

Why do I feel like I'm about to be put in detention?

Wendy,

I'm Ellen Formby. Thank you so much for coming.

Yes, well, ordinarily, I wouldn't come all this way to see a show on Christmas Eve,

but I am luckily going to butcher my own turkey at an organic farm in

Tadcaster. So yeah,

it was a real stroke of luck, actually.

Wow.

Mm.

Butchering.

What an absolute stroke of luck for us.

Yes.

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma. Ma-ma-ma-ma.

Unique New York. Unique New York.

Unique New York. Unique

unique

Ooh,

that's got some kick, that has.

Oh.

Sadie?

I don't think I can do this, Gloria

Don't think. It's just play.

You can do this, Sadie, and I'll be with you every step of

the way.

"Marley was dead, to begin with. There

is no doubt whatever about that.

The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman,

clerk,

the undertaker, the chief mourner.

Scrooge signed it.

But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone,

Scrooge."

"A squeezing, wrenching,

rasping,

scraping,

clutching, covetous, old sinner.

Hard and sharp as flint, from which

no steel had ever struck out generous

fire.

The cold

withered his frozen features,

nipped

his pointed nose,

straitened his gait,

made his eyes red,

and his thin lips blue,

and spoke out shrewdly in his

grating voice."

Humbug!

"Aren't you the spirit, sir, whose coming was foretold

to me?"

I am.

What and who are you?

I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Long past?

We've got a problem.

No, no, no. Your past.

Greg,

you're about to be on stage. Where's your costume?

Coogan,

relax. I'm a ghost. I'll wear ghost

clothes.

This is strong stuff. Have you had all of it?

I'm fine.

Stop fussing. I'll be okay.

His cue's coming up. I don't know what to do.

Relax, Helen. I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine.

I'm okay to drive the school bus. Just give me the keys.

Scrooge was taken with a fit of trembling, and

then a ghostly light appeared.

But

Scrooge couldn't be sure.

Was that a light he saw?

Scrooge rubbed his eyes and looked again.

Was it a light,

or was it his mind playing tricks?

But wait.

A light appeared for sure.

I am the Spirit of Christmas Present.

Meaning, for I am very young,

my elder brothers born these later years

He knows all the lines.

How does he know all the lines?

Are you ready to go forth with me?

I'm better in my bubble. I can wallow in my

trouble.

So please just leave me be.

Let me close the door, say no more. And keep

myself to me.

Hey.

And as Tiny Tim observed,

"God bless us, everyone."

Just sit behind my door and wish your world

away.

I agree with my opinion. I

concur with my point of view.

So leave me be. Let me do me and

I'll let you be you.

Hear, hear.

So leave me be. Let me do me and I'll let you be

you.

As a huge Charles Dickens fan, I find it incredibly

disappointing when I see a production that fails to live up to such

great expectations.

Thankfully, that was not my experience at Willow Lodge this evening.

That was simply one of the most

enchanting theatrical experiences I have ever

seen. This, my dear, this is what

community theater is all about. And you clearly have a

wonderful sense of community here.

So can you give us the accreditation?

I'd be delighted to.

Ben, we did it.

No, you did it, and I'm so blooming proud of you.

Congratulations. Well done. Thank

you. Thank you. Well done.

Congratulations, Jen.

Jen, well done.

You did it.

Well done.

Hey.

Hugo, what a shame you missed the show.

You can't do this. This is against health and safety.

Safety. Yeah, yeah. We had a visit from your mate Adrian from the council.

He said the same thing.

So what,

what the devil's this then?

This, Hugo, is the Willow Lodge Community Theater,

and this-

Hey

... is your exit.

What?

Merry Christmas.

Argh.

Yay.

We did it.

Well done, lass.

Aw. You're not getting away.

Another one?

Yeah.

Aubrey,

where you going?

Going home.

Wendy loved it. We're gonna be okay. We did it.

You gonna come and celebrate with us? It's Christmas Eve.

I know.

I really should be heading back.

Oh.

I got you this.

Well, I,

I didn't get you anything.

Don't be daft. You got me the best Christmas present anyone could ever wish for.

A fire escape?

Yeah,

a fire escape.

It's set in London and Paris in the lead up to the French Revolution,

so historical, but also a great story.

Oh.

Oh, well then,

thank you.

Not just for this,

for everything.

Can I give you a Christmas hug?

Oh, I'm

not really a hugger.

I know. That's why I asked first.

Oh.

If you really want to.

You're supposed to hug me back.

Nah.

Come on, you've got to share some of that with a Coogie man.

I'm hugging now.

Thank you.

Oh, bro,

thank you.

Have you got plans for tomorrow, for Christmas?

I do. Well,

just the usual.

Feed the ducks and

see my mum.

Well, we're having dinner with the residents.

If you wanna come, you can bring your mum.

No pressure, but you're really so welcome.

I love that guy.

Yeah, me too.

I swear I didn't have Kevin put that there.

I didn't. I would've done something much better than that. I would've had like...

You know the head-

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Who do you follow

when you've lost your

guiding star?

How do you be yourself

when you don't know

who

you are?

She's turning them off.

What am I hoping

for?

She's home.

When my hope is gone.

You don't want to end up old and alone with only a dusty

toy soldier to keep you company.

When you can't carry yourself.

Hey. This is a great-

And of course, we'll be playing an incredible selection of songs this Christmas

morning to get you in that festive spirit.

So pour yourself a little sherry, grab yourself a mince pie, and settle in for an

absolute Christmas classic. Sir Cliff Richard.

This is "Mistletoe."

Bonjour, Papa.

Give me a hug, mate.

I got it.

Aubrey's

here.

Aubrey.

Hello.

Just thought I'd pop by to wish you all a merry Christmas.

And also,

if you don't mind,

I

thought I'd bring my dad along, too.

Hi.

Hey.

Everybody,

this is Albert,

my father. And, Dad...

These are my friends.

Merry Christmas.

Oh,

what kind of fool was I

to be so blind?

I want to thank you for rescuing me,

for I might have been left

behind.

Now my eyes are wide open,

like I'm seeing for the first time.

What I feel is almost too much.

Is this new life really

mine?

Who'd have thought I could be happy?

Who'd have thought that someone cared?

If I had known what I'd been missing.

If I had known that you were there.

Loving you is so simple.

Every day feels like a win.

I thank my lucky stars you came

looking.

I thank my lucky stars.

I let you in.

Ooh. I let you in.

Ooh.

Can't believe how far I've come.

Ooh. And that journey's down to

you. Oh.

I'd still be hiding

if you hadn't pulled me through.

So many years of hurting. Oh.

Now I finally feel free.

I've got so much love to give you.

I

didn't know I had in me.

Yeah. Loving you is so

simple