Original subtitles

Barry Sherman here,

the voice of reason in a declining season.

I read today that another factory slob went postal.

Job stress a little too much for you, big guy?

And why is that?

Because we've all become a nation of whiners.

[foreboding music playing]

I'm doing the best I can.

Are you saying I need to put a younger man on the job?

[Barry] And another thing. These kids today have no supervision.

I mean, after all, this was the latch-key kids...

[laughing]

...same issue, personal responsibility.

-Nobody wants to... -[breathing hard]

Everybody's sick...

[roaring]

[whimpers] No! Don't!

[echoing] Don't..

[yells]

[Barry] I'm telling you, we were all better off

when the little woman stayed home, where she belonged.

-[man groaning] -Remember the '50s?

Hey, hey, cut it out.

Frankie?

Frankie? What's wrong?

People will do anything...

-Ow! -Frankie!

[wails]

So you don't you like your job, don't come crying to me.

Quit.

Chronic fatigue syndrome? Give me a break!

[theme music playing]

♪ If there's something strange In your neighborhood ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ If there's something weird And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ That's right ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ If you're seeing things Running through your head ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ You know Busting makes me feel good ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Whoo-oh! ♪

[somber music playing]

And I couldn't wake him up.

It was horrible.

I didn't know who else to turn to.

-[device whirring] -[Roland] Hmm.

Everyone knows you don't wake a sleepwalker.

They get all disoriented and hurt themselves.

Oh, so now it's all my fault.

I finished my sweep. Full spectral, ectoplasmic...

Nothing.

Did anything else happen before you went to sleep?

Nothing special.

Got home, pretty much went straight to bed.

Uh, listened to Barry Sherman's radio show.

[scoffs] Listening to that creep will give anybody nightmares.

Are you kidding?

Sherman's the man.

Mr. Fitzgivens, your fractures were caused

by abnormally strong muscle contractions,

which occurred during a nocturnal seizure.

It's very unusual.

Although we have been seeing quite a bit of it lately.

That's it?

Can't somebody do something?

Well, with no evidence of supernatural activity,

there's really nothing we can do.

I hope you two took a nap,

'cause you got the graveyard shift.

[downbeat music playing]

Well, I appreciate your hard work.

It's a Zen thing.

You write the paper by not writing the paper.

[Barry on radio] Good night, New York!

This is Barry Sherman,

asking the unquestionable and speaking the unthinkable.

Yeah, you tell them, Barry.

If athletes were half as interested in playing as they were in movie deals...

Ugh. I'm on night patrol, not jerk patrol.

So, what is it with the Knicks already?

What are they, like 0 and 172

If they were any more lame,

they'd get handicapped parking.

-[whistle blows] -[crowd cheering]

-[whistle blows] -[buzzer sounds]

[crowd cheering]

Yeah!

-Yes! -[groans]

You! Watch the rough stuff, or you're out!

Me?

[crowd cheering]

No!

Stop it! Ref!

[echoing] Ref! Ref!

[laughing]

[Barry] And these clowns still can't...

[Garrett groaning] Ref!

[Slimer shouting gibberish]

[Garrett yells] Stop!

[shouting gibberish]

[radio stations switching]

What's all the noise?

[grunts, then gasps]

Garrett?

You okay?

Huh? Yeah, I guess I had a bad dream or something.

[groans]

[mysterious music playing]

You're hurt.

[speaking gibberish]

All right, already. Just close the window.

[speaks gibberish, then trails off]

You sure you're okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm-- I'm fine.

Hmm.

[Eduardo] Yo, wake up, Kylie.

Day shift's here.

Go home and get your beauty sleep.

As opposed to your kind of sleep?

Ooh.

Didn't you get any sleep last night?

Sleep is for wimps.

That was some nightmare last night.

Uh, spicy food before bedtime. No biggie.

[alarm ringing]

Let's move.

[siren blares]

[dramatic music playing]

They're all over the place.

I can't wake them up. It's horrible.

Just point us toward the ghoulies and take a huge step back.

[people groaning]

[music turns ominous]

[Barry on radio] I'm telling you, we were all better off

when the little woman stayed home, where she belonged.

-Remember the '50s? Oh, paradise! -[weapons powering up]

[yawns]

-And another thing. These kids today... -I'm sorry, are we boring you?

...this was the latch-key kid.

And it all comes back to the same issue, personal responsibility.

Looks like we got their attention.

The weapons aren't doing zip.

I'm not getting anything.

Zero PKE.

-...entitlements... -How can they still be asleep?

[yawning]

-[Eduardo] Watch it! -Going straight to the dogs--

Are you trying to kill us?

[people grunting, gasping]

They woke up when those worms popped.

-You think there's a connection? -[ceiling rumbling]

Uh-oh.

The sky is falling!

[people screaming]

[ominous music playing]

[people screaming]

You're taking souvenirs?

Nice shooting, Tex.

You okay?

Don't wanna sleep no more.

These nightmares, waking up beat up all the time...

And that demon,

staring at me with them glowing eyes.

Uh, did you say "demon"?

[device whirring]

[Roland] And for no reason, they all just popped.

Hmm. Not a trace of psychokinetic energy.

We didn't get a reading in the field either.

They look like normal ghosties, but our guns didn't do squat.

I'm stymied.

Maybe if I widen the bandwidth for a full spectral analysis.

Let's roll.

[dramatic music playing]

What?

I'm not going anywhere with you.

Not till you get some shut-eye.

I'm afraid he's right, Garrett. You're a hazard in the field.

You're grounding me?

Fine.

You do what you have to do,

I'll do what I have to do.

He sure gets grumpy without any sleep.

How can you tell the difference?

I'm staying behind with Garrett.

What? You low on babysitting cash?

[growls]

What did our call tonight have in common with that Fitzgivens guy?

The postal worker? I don't know.

Nightmares.

Very intense nightmares.

So intense that the injuries you dream about

actually affect your body.

Remember, "If you die in your dream, you die in real life"?

Come on, Garrett. That's a myth.

These look mythical to you?

Well, what about those worm thingies?

-How do they fit in? -I don't know.

Maybe they're some kind of supernatural by-product?

Of what? The dreams?

That homeless guy dreamed about a demon.

Me too. And I'll bet Fitzgivens saw the same one.

[Garrett] That's him! Morpheus.

He's a demon inhabiting the dream world,

but it says he never enters the physical plane.

-That's what Barry Sherman's for. -Say what?

Everyone with these dreams was listening to the radio show.

Fitzgivens, the homeless guys, you.

Maybe the demon's using Sherman's voice

as a conduit into people's minds.

Oh, look, I know you hate the guy, but--

We've gotta find a way to get him off the air.

[sighs] You're gonna enjoy this way too much.

Huh? Hmm.

Aha!

[Barry on radio] You know what doesn't stink?

-The city dump. -[snoring]

Because our scummiest garbage is out walking the streets.

Bums, idiots, thugs, knuckleheads, all out there.

Roland said we could take his car?

I'm sure he would have.

[Barry on radio] Parking, that's our number one problem.

We gotta keep tabs on him.

-[engine starts] -[Kylie sighs]

Another false alarm.

A cat in a tree.

-What are we, the fire department? -[yawns]

-[Barry on radio] ...pave Central Park... -Wake me in about six years.

Let the people use it to walk around in.

No one drives in New York.

-[yawns] Somebody want to turn that off? -...free parking to all of New York.

[woman in breathy voice] Eduardo...

[mysterious music playing]

-Hmm? -[woman] Eduardo...

Huh?

Oh, Eduardo...

I love being near you.

Ugh! Get a grip.

You know I have a boyfriend.

Huh?

And besides,

who'd wanna be caught hanging out with a bald freak?

[echoing] ...freak, freak, freak...

Huh?

No. No!

[Barry] First step, Statue of Liberty...

[grunts]

It gives me great pleasure to introduce Dr. Roland Jackson

as he honors us with his latest invention.

[ominous music playing]

[gurgling]

[scientists laughing uproariously]

[Barry] Let's just put up a big sign saying:

"Keep out. We're full. No more room.”

[horns honking]

[gasps]

[man 1] Hey.

[crowd whistling, whooping]

[gasps]

[man 2 gasps]

Could it be laundry day, me lad?

Hmm. Fascinating.

I would be appear to be experiencing a neuro-soporific event

with distinctly Freudian overtones.

[echoing] ... Freudian overtones.

[Barry] Maybe we should give Manhattan back to the... [clears throat]

...Native Americans.

[gasps]

Egon?

[echoing] Egon? Egon?

Anybody?

Hello?

[echoing] Hello?

[Morpheus laughing]

Where is everybody?

[echoing] ...everybody, everybody... Where is everybody?

[groans]

-[Barry] ...$24 for this place... -[gurgling]

...and they got ripped off.

[ominous music playing]

[ominous music playing]

[Slimer shouting gibberish]

[Slimer exclaims]

[Barry] Twenty-four dollars to buy the whole island. [laughs]

Twenty-four dollars will get you downtown now.

[shouting gibberish]

[growls]

Of course I'm serious. Let them have the whole island.

[gasps]

What a nightmare.

[yells] This ain't happening, man.

This ain't happening!

[speaking gibberish]

Will you quit jabbering?

Look at my... hair.

[Barry] Oh, joy and rapture,

it's the morning paper.

-Is newsprint messy enough? -[gasps]

[radio turns off]

Rise and shine. We're almost there.

[dramatic music playing]

[Eduardo] Egon, get a trap!

A trap won't hold it.

These entities aren't fully ecto, merely embryonic.

You mean they're growing into something else?

Like what?

Whoa, look out!

It's getting away.

Not with my hair, it ain't.

Janine, wake up.

[Janine groaning]

I'll stay with her.

Don't lose that creature.

And that's why radio news is better.

Listening to the radio actually boosts your intelligence.

Hey, Bare.

Got a few seconds for one of your faithful listeners?

Lookie who just dropped in.

The Ghostbusters.

Congratulations, guys. You made Page 23.

[Barry snickers]

Hey, that was an accident.

We were just trying to help people.

You really wanna help? Move to Hoboken.

[Barry laughs]

Okay, so you got any bright ideas?

These creatures are unlike anything we've ever encountered.

No, no, I'm talking about my hair.

Holy...

[dramatic music playing]

When things go wrong in this city,

you people show up to blame ghosts, goblins,

Count Dracula, the bogeyman.

And you know why people eat it up?

Gee, why don't you tell me?

Because people will do anything

to evade personal responsibility.

It's going right off the scale.

What's that?

Oh, so now I'm a ghost.

[laughs] What are you gonna do now? Bust me?

For starters, I'm revoking your FCC license.

Garrett, no!

Noble, but far too late.

[Kylie] There's one creature for every nightmare, but...

What...?

Hey, where'd he go?

[Barry laughing maniacally]

Morpheus is using him to cross into our dimension.

[in Morpheus' voice] Your reality is now mine to control.

[roaring]

[both yell]

Once my form is complete, your nightmare will never end.

-So how do we stop them? -I don't know.

[hissing]

And our weapons aren't much help.

-We need more firepower. -[beast roaring]

You don't happen to have a parachute or a bungee cord

or something, do you?

Circle around. We'll hold them off.

Hey, Eduardo, nice hairdo.

Oh, man.

It's bad enough you had to see it in the dream.

You dream about me?

It was a nightmare, okay?

Now we gotta fight buildings?

This guy is off the scale.

Well, I'm busting some ghosts.

[Roland] No.

What are you doing? You wanna let him cross over?

Exactly.

What? Have you lost your mind?

I get it.

I master the domain of dreams and now this world as well.

He's complete.

As in completely ecto.

On three.

[all] Three.

[screaming]

Good night, New York!

He should've realized that entering our world

meant becoming ectoplasmic and trappable.

I guess your dreams came true, big guy, and so did mine.

[Barry groans]

[in normal voice] Oh. Have I been sleepwalking again?

I thought I was over that.

You are now.

[pleasant music playing]

[theme music playing]