Original subtitles

-One more house, all right? -All right.

Uh-uh. Not this house, Frankie.

[foreboding music playing]

-No way. -Aw, come on.

You don't believe all those dumb haunted-house stories, do you?

No.

But the thing is...

You listen to your big brother, all right?

There's no such thing as ghosts.

-You sure? -Sure, I'm sure.

[wind howling from inside]

May I help you?

Good evening, ma'am.

My name is Frankie, and this is my brother, Len.

We're from PS 52, and we're selling chocolate bars.

And if we sell a whole lot, then we win a bike.

The money goes to buy new computer equipment

...

We could sure use your support.

What nice young men you are.

I'm sure I have a dollar in my purse.

Please, step into my parlor.

Told you.

-[Len] No! -[Frankie] No!

[theme music playing]

♪ If there's something strange In your neighborhood ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ If there's something weird And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ That's right ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ If you're seeing things Running through your head ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ You know Busting makes me feel good ♪

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Whoo-oh! ♪

[lighthearted music playing]

[Garrett] ...1021,

1022,

1023...

Um...

-What? -Nothing.

Garrett's lusting after your Munch Bar.

[Slimer gibbering]

Garrett started this new metabolic weight-training program.

He's supposed to purify his system by fasting for 24 hours.

You ask me, it's just another fad diet.

Well, nobody asked you.

Oh, it's gonna be a long day, man.

Nothing but water, Jell-O and chicken broth.

Bummer.

Mm.

Man, this is tasty.

Perfect amount of crunch, you know? And then you bite down in the caramel...

Mm.

Provides just the right amount of chewiness.

[whining]

But how do I describe the nougat center?

It's... It's...

[moaning]

It's a stone full-blown taste explosion.

[Slimer screams]

You know, I believe I'll have another.

Do it and die.

Speaking of the dead, the summer solstice is here.

[Garrett] Your point being what?!

Uh, sorry.

My point being

that many ancient cultures believed that on this,

the longest night of the year,

demons and spirits come out at midnight to feast.

Wow, a fiesta.

And you're not even allowed to sit at the table.

All of you, Egon needs us downstairs.

It's been three days now. The police have no leads.

It's like they've vanished off the face of the Earth.

[sobs] I just want my babies back.

I understand how devastating this must be,

but... why come to us?

There's this house on the street where the boys were selling their candy.

We never wanted to believe it, but people say it's... It's haunted.

We've heard you have experience with this type of thing.

We'll look into it right away.

My Nexus search has turned up numerous newspaper accounts

of possible ectoplasmic infestations and disappearances.

This house has a long history of bizarre occurrences,

so be on your toes.

[tense music playing]

[Garrett] This place gives me a bad feeling in my gut.

That might be hunger pains.

Yes?

Sorry to disturb you, ma'am,

but two boys disappeared Tuesday night...

[chain clinks]

Two boys disappeared Tuesday night,

and we're checking out the neighborhood.

Disappeared?

Oh, how terrible.

If you don't mind, we'd like to ask you a few questions.

Now, the kids' disappearance,

it would have happened about 6:00 Tuesday night.

Six o'clock?

Uh, now, let me think. What was I doing?

Did you see anything at all?

Oh, now I remember.

I had some warm milk and a biscuit and watched Wheel of Fortune.

Okay, let's quit pussyfooting around here.

-This house is haunted, true or false? -Garrett.

Oh, I've been hearing that story for the past 50 years.

Believe me, if my house was haunted, I'd probably know.

She's hiding something.

[clears throat] Excuse me, lady. I need to consult with my associates.

Your associates?

Who are you, Johnnie Cochran?

No. Columbo. Check it out.

All right, ma'am, you've got some exp--

She's gone.

No way that old bird walked out without us seeing her.

Who says she walked?

Welcome to the Roach Motel. You check in, you don't check out.

We're not going anywhere until we find the kids.

Hey, man, we don't even know for sure that they're here.

[Frankie & Len] Help!

[eerie music playing]

Okay, it's official. We've just entered the Twilight Zone.

[man] Well, hello.

And there's Rod Serling himself.

-Dead guy. -What tipped you off?

Okay, dude, spill. Who are you?

And what's with the old lady? She a ghost or what?

Never mind the old lady. What did you do to the kids?

I did nothing.

That's not to say nothing has been done,

if you catch my drift.

You're gonna catch my drift in about two seconds. Now, talk.

[stomach gurgling]

Hey, man, did you swallow Slimer?

-You're alive! -Hey!

You have to get out of the house now!

Look, Mr. Fancy-Spook, no one's going anywhere until we--

-[watch beeps] -[gasps]

Time is running out.

Listen, we're familiar with your...

"condition.”

And whatever you're scared of, we could help.

-But first, tell us where-- -No.

I'm beyond help.

-But you must leave before... -[Kylie] Before what?

I hate a ghost that can't complete a sentence.

[Frankie & Len] Help us!

[Frankie] Can anybody hear us?

That way.

[eerie music playing]

Man, who designed this place? Better Homes and Horrors?

What do you think that entity meant when he said, "Time is running out"?

Yeah, why would he care about time when he's doing the for-all-eternity bit?

Power up. We're in ghost country.

Floating furniture? That's bush-league ghost stuff, man.

[snarls]

Now, that I've never seen.

[all moaning]

Okay, boys and girls, time to rearrange the furniture.

Home improvement, Ghostbuster-style.

We gotta keep moving and find those kids.

[portal buzzing]

[gasps]

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

[in French accent] Such a racket. It is enough to wake the dead.

Please. We need your help.

We know this house is infested with ecto-entities

and that two boys are being held captive somewhere inside it.

Do you know where they are?

[gasps] Behind you.

Oh, alors, such a mess. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

I have to do my work.

Yeah, and so do we, Rosie. Tell us where the kids are.

One cannot be late for la maison's feast.

[speaks in French]

[eerie music playing]

-Anything? -Extremely low PKE levels.

Probably residual. She appears to be human.

I don't need no PKE Meter to tell me that.

Those kids have gotta be behind one of these doors.

Yeah. Where's Monty Hall when you need him?

[Garrett] Step aside, Roister.

[ghouls moaning]

Oh, man, it smells like rancid meat.

[gasping]

Hey. Back off.

[all shrieking]

Okay. What was that?

I think we can rule out the neighborhood welcome wagon.

Egon said the house has a long history of disappearances.

I'm betting those people were the victims.

Of what?

Of whoever the head ghost is.

Probably the guy the maid was talking about. Mason.

Oh, why does that name sound so familiar?

Maybe you used to date him.

Ooh la la. Look at the time. Look at the time.

One cannot be late for la maison's feast.

[Roland] Hey, wait.

[maid speaking in French]

[Garrett] What'd she say, Kylie? You studied French.

[Kylie] One semester.

[clocks ticking]

[Roland] Why all the clocks?

The maid keeps talking about time.

Yeah, and some kind of feast. I wonder what she's serving.

Human beings.

Tonight is the summer solstice. The demon feast.

And, uh, what time did you say this demon feast begins?

-Midnight. -That's it!

We're dead! It's midnight!

El Romeo, it's only 11:30.

Oh.

We got half an hour to rescue those kids

and get our butts out of here.

[clocks chiming]

[creatures screeching]

Extra crispy.

[distorted chiming]

[chiming slows, then stops]

[sighs] This is one mean multiple haunting.

This isn't a multiple haunting.

You loco or something?

Everything in this house wants a piece of us.

Exactly.

I finally remembered what Maison is.

It's the French word for "house."

-Are you saying...? -The house is the ghost.

[ghoul moaning]

And we're in the belly of the beast.

-[Frankie] Help me! Somebody help! -[Len] Help! Help!

Help!

[screeching in distance]

La Maison is hungry. It needs to feed.

Where are the kids?

I... I cannot say.

Don't be scared of the house. We can get you out of here.

No, mes amis. It is too late for me.

[Eduardo] It's never too late.

Huh?

Okay, so maybe it is too late for you, but you can help us save the kids.

...

Through there.

Thanks. And I'm sorry that you're dead.

-[Frankie] Help us! Somebody! -[Len] Can you hear us? Help!

-[Frankie] Please, somebody help! -[Len] Can somebody hear us?

[Frankie] Please!

[device whirring]

Don't worry. We're the good guys.

Frankie, Len, it's okay.

We're gonna get you guys home.

Ugh! This wall is pure ectoplasm.

The house is like a parasite,

feeding on the flesh of its prisoners.

And when it's done, it entraps their spirits

so that it can slowly dissolve them over time.

Uh, Kylie.

Oh. Uh...

I didn't mean this house.

[house screeching, moaning]

We'd better haul tail. That sounded like hunger pains.

And believe me, I would know.

This stuff isn't budging.

If we could just locate its source.

Less talk, more action. You kids, close your eyes.

[house roars]

See? Now you went and got it mad.

All right!

Are you Batman?

I'm his cousin, Ghostbuster Man.

We're out of here.

[groans]

Get the kids out of here. I've got it covered.

-[hissing] -[yells]

[gasps, then sighs]

Come on, el Romeo. We're out of here.

[tense music playing]

Okay, which way's the front door?

It doesn't exist anymore, remember?

Then we'll just have to build us a new one.

Run home. Don't stop till you get there.

Come on, Len, let's get out of here.

Thanks, Ghostbuster Man.

[Eduardo] Come on, man. Move it.

Get that chair out of second gear.

-What? -[Garrett] No!

[yells]

It got Garrett!

[all yell]

[over radio] Egon here. Can anyone hear me?

Did you find the boys?

Yeah, they're okay.

But the house got Garrett, and Kylie and Roland are dead.

What?

We're not dead.

Roland and I are fine, Egon.

And Garrett?

[stone rumbles]

Definitely dead.

[grunting]

[sniffs]

A nice young bouquet.

Not as young as the other two,

but you'll do.

[gasps] Look, uh, you don't wanna eat me.

I've been fasting. I'm all skin and bones.

Ooh.

Skin and bones are my favorite parts.

[in demonic voice] Dinnertime.

[snarling]

[ghoul growling]

-Looks like somebody wants dessert. -Wait. Let me.

[shrieking]

-That was easy. -Maybe a little too easy.

-[house screeching] -[all yell]

This is not a happy home.

[ghouls moaning]

Blasters at maximum dilation. We only get one shot at this.

On three.

[all] Three!

Urban renewal, Ghostbuster-style.

[voices chattering]

Look.

[ghost] Thank you.

All of the house's victims are being set free.

[wistful music playing]

Well, I guess that's that, huh?

I wonder.

Cool.

A souvenir.

-[beeping] -[both] Eduardo!

[Kylie] No!

[gasps]

[screeching]

[trumpeting, snarling]

[shrieking]

Hmm.

"Cool. A souvenir."

What kind of idiot are you?

An idiot with a Munch Crunch Bar.

Hey, you want a bite?

Oh. That's right, you can't.

-Come on, let me have a bite. -Nope. Sorry.

-[Garrett] Little bite. -No.

[Garrett] I won't make fun of your goatee.

[Eduardo] You always make fun of my goatee.

-Don't make me get out of this chair. -[Eduardo] What are you gonna do?

Mm. This is so tasty.

[theme music playing]