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How should I begin?

When I think back on what I did, I'm still not sure whether it was wrong.

Everything feels like a nightmare now.

I meant well. I know that.

I became a doctor to help people.

But the job only made me feel more alone.

Totally unaware of who really deserved help.

- It doesn't look good. - I don't understand the results.

I barely smoke anymore.

As a doctor, I never really get to know my patients.

They never get to know me.

I should have been better at letting other people in.

I'm not making excuses.

I've had many chances. Paths I could have taken but didn't.

On the surface, everything looked fine.

Doctor, a big apartment.

But the truth was that I had insomnia,

no friends, and at the age of 29 was still a virgin.

I want to believe it was about something greater.

But isn't it so simple that I did it all for love?

Hey, I completely forgot that I have a patient coming in

and a meeting at Channel 4. Could you take her?

- Yes, of course. - It's Helga Gregorius.

Thank you. You're an angel.

You guys look amazing!

You can just act very naturally. You don't need to be posing.

Yeah, you look great!

- Lovely! It looks good. - Okay, wait.

- It looks really good. Really nice. - Thank you.

Maybe I should do a couple where I just hold the book

Sheyma, can you keep an eye on Vilma and give her the iPad?

- I'll give you the iPad as well. - Okay, all right.

Look naturally, not stiff. Yeah, that's nice.

- Like this? - Yeah...

Thanks.

- Gabriel. We were just taking a photo. - No problem.

This way.

I should introduce myself, by the way. Gabriel Glas, doctor.

Helga. But you already knew that.

I'll just pull this up a bit.

And then tell me if it feels the same on both sides.

It feels pretty much the same.

And then I'll feel along your spine a little bit, and you tell me if it hurts.

It's mostly down here. Lena was just going to renew my prescription, so...

I can't believe we're having this weather when it's almost September.

The warmest summer in a hundred years.

Does it hurt here?

- Are we finished? - Yes.

Thank you, Kristin. You can go now.

- Oh. Didn't you want me to...? - No, it's fine. Thanks, Kristin.

Okay.

So, what do we do now?

Should I get medication here or will you write me a prescription?

I can refer you to a skilled physiotherapist.

Or book a new appointment with Lena.

Or if there's something else you'd like to talk about.

Yes.

Thank you for not saying anything while she was here.

I was assaulted a few days ago. A man recognized me and grabbed my throat.

It was awful, but my back has been even worse since then.

So I really need something for the pain.

- Oxycontin or... - No, unfortunately that's not possible.

Why not? Don't you believe me?

My assessment is we find the cause of the pain before we start...

No, your assessment is that I'm lying to get drugs.

I never said that.

No, but I can see that you're thinking it. And I don't like liars.

You know nothing about me and I'm so tired of people judging me.

- I can't handle that. - I'm sorry, if that's how it seems.

I've just had a long day.

I...

- I'm sorry. - I really want to help you.

I was a bit hard on you. I've also had a long day.

I understand.

I feel so strange and sensitive.

It's the back pain and the fact that I never sleep. I'm going completely crazy.

May I say something?

I believe that you're in pain and I really want to help you.

But I can't do that if you lie to me.

I'm not lying.

I'm a doctor. I'm not a journalist or a policeman.

I have a duty of confidentiality.

- Whatever you say stays here. - What would that be, then?

How are you?

I'm fine.

Fine. It's just this back pain.

- Are you sure? - I'm sure! What the hell is your problem?

I mean, fuck.

If you really want to know,

the thing is that I feel such an enormous disgust for my husband.

I never want to sleep with him, but we do it anyway all the time.

That's how it is.

- Is it abuse? - No, I don't know.

I've never said it out loud before. I don't know...

He's my husband, you know.

He isn't violent or anything, but sometimes he gets drunk

and then it gets a bit rough, so I get bruises...

And he cries sometimes, because he gets so offended if I don't want to, and then...

He crosses my boundaries and blackmails me, you know,

so then I get these strange pains.

- Do you want to leave him? - We have a daughter.

When he gets angry, he threatens to...

I can't leave him.

I believe you.

Unfortunately, that doesn't help.

And it just hurts to say it.

Three o'clock. Thank you. Bye.

Kristin.

I need to unlock the medicine cabinet. Thanks.

- You go ahead. - Okay.

Helga!

I prescribed a liquid medication in case you ever need it.

Patrik will get tired and impotent, but won't realize he's affected.

If it doesn't work, I prescribed painkillers as well.

- Sorry, I'm overstepping. - No.

Thank you.

Helga, what diet do you think is optimal as a mother, wife, and power woman?

No calories at all.

You're not allowed to eat bread, no ice cream, nothing you enjoy.

The most important thing in my diet is an incredible amount of alcohol,

so that I can endure this boring life.

To me, beauty comes from the inside.

And it's something we've heard so many times and it's...

You are beautiful

and to match the outside with the inside

I try to focus on glowing...

Hello, darling!

Just one last bite!

- There. Good. Was it tasty? - Yes, thanks, Dad.

- Can I have the iPad now? - Yes, you can have the iPad. Good girl.

And you, darling? Aren't you hungry?

It was really good. I just have a bit of a stomach ache.

- Poor thing. - I can take it. Thanks.

Darling, I'll handle it. It's okay. I'll handle it. It's totally fine. I promise.

Thank you.

- What are you doing, Vilma? - I'm taking selfies.

- Stop that. - Stop yourself. Dad said I could.

Yes, but I'm saying you can't, okay?

- Give it back to me now. Vilma! - Darling, it's fine. Let her.

Is directing my movie a bad idea?

- No, it's in your blood. Vilma! - I will then.

- Now, can you listen... - Darling, it's okay.

Daddy takes it, gives it to Mommy so she'll be happy.

And you and I will go to bed. Say goodnight to Mom.

- Goodnight then. - Night, sweetheart.

- Will you be awake after I go to bed? - No, of course not.

We're going to bed too. Right, darling?

- We're going to sleep too. - Yes.

Decant the wine. Let's celebrate!

- What did you say to Mom? - That she's beautiful, in English.

Just like you.

Hi.

A toast to my husband, the director.

Klas Recke.

As in Olivia's boyfriend?

- Is he hot? - She probably thinks so.

What about you? Do you like guys like that?

I like guys like this.

- I'm considering him as an actor. - Who would he play?

He doesn't fit into your upper-class world.

I'm not upper-class. I'm just rich.

He's going to play me, of course. Here.

Tasty, right? Oh, so tasty!

- It's good that you're eating a bit. - Yeah, but it's dry. I get so thirsty.

- You're so sexy tonight. - Thanks, you too.

You drive me crazy.

Cheers.

- A third toast? - Yes.

Okay.

A third toast to the fact that I love you so much.

I love you.

- Baby Blue. - Poppy Moo.

What are you doing? You're on the phone again.

I'm changing the song. It's a party in your honor.

- I don't want a party! I want to cuddle! - Yes, come on!

- It's like you're somewhere else. - No.

Gabriel? What are you doing here?

Can I sit down for a moment? Just quickly.

My friend is coming soon.

My date is coming soon too. I'm going on a date.

I got a tip about this place from Helga today.

She said that no one knows about it.

- It's really nice. - Very.

Wait. Are you here with Helga?

No, that would be very inappropriate. To come here with a patient.

Yeah, I guess.

It's just that you were in such a rush today. You ran out after her.

I wrote the wrong prescription for her. So embarrassing.

I guess that's what happens when Lena springs patients on you.

You must think I'm so lame, with the selfie.

Please, Patrik. The curtains.

- No one can see, it's just lovely. - Hey, I want to...

- I really want to have sex with you. - Okay. Me too.

But first I need to go take a shower.

- Why? - Because I want to be sexy for you.

- I'll come with you. - No.

I want you to get into bed and wait for me naked.

I can do that!

I mean, I'm really not like that. I promise. You mustn't think that.

- No. - Okay.

I don't know, I just think Helga's clothing brand is insanely cool.

And her husband is a hotshot author.

- Have you read any of his books? - No.

They're actually quite good.

What are you looking at?

Nothing.

- I really have to... - Oh, there's my date.

Jeez, is he hot or not?

Be honest, would you have gone on a date with him?

- No... - Or maybe you have a boyfriend?

Wait.

Wait, you're gay, right?

Oh God, I'm sorry, Gabriel.

Oh God. It was just a rumor at university.

Not a mean rumor, really. It was just because you were so cute.

And nobody ever saw you with a girl, so we just assumed you...

But okay, you were just mysterious. I get it. Sorry.

- You're really cute and not gay. Sorry. - It's okay.

- Okay. - I have to go. But it was nice seeing you.

- Good luck on your date. - Yeah, thanks.

- See you tomorrow. Bye. - Bye.

Helga! What's taking so long?

Helga!

Come on now, I'm completely fucking ready here.

Darling, come on.

Women, I swear...

Helga!

Darling?

I feel like you're one of those people who really has everything.

You're smart, you're handsome, you're talented.

Thank you very much!

- I've got two famous parents too. - You most certainly do.

- You're provocative. - So annoying.

Do people get annoyed by you?

I have a big ego, but I can make fun of myself too.

You sell a ton of books. You're a huge success.

It's not an autobiography per se.

I can polish and distort things. You do that too, don't you?

But we never lie.

I wouldn't say I do. But I can spice things up.

Do you have anxiety?

I don't have a diagnosis on paper, but that's never interested me.

I know I have ADHD. I know that.

And I have enormous anxiety. It's my companion, my best friend.

Ultimately, I'm an insecure little boy who wants everyone to like him.

But I think that's universal. Doesn't everyone want to be liked?

Where have you been?

I just went power-walking.

In the middle of the night?

When I had finished showering, you were just lying here snoring.

I was all worked up, so I went for a walk.

- You smell of smoke. - Come on, I'm anxious. Okay?

It was that kind of a walk, I just threw up.

But darling, then just say so.

And you were super-horny too.

Come here, you poor thing.

Poor little poppy.

- I'm really tired now. - Shh, come here.

Just a quickie. What do you say, darling?

You'll love it.

One wants to be loved.

Failing that, admired.

Failing that, feared.

Failing that, hated and despised.

One wants to inspire some kind of feeling in people.

The soul shudders at the void and wants contact.

At any price.

- Good morning, Kristin. - Good morning.

Do you have Helga Gregorius's number in your system?

I need to reschedule her appointment.

I don't think I have her private number.

- But you can probably ask now. - Why?

A therapist used to be here.

I wonder why Lena actually fired him.

- Patrik. - Gabriel Glas.

- I've seen you before. - You've probably seen me here?

Probably.

- I'm surprised to see you. - Why?

I knew Lena had hired a new doctor, but that he'd be so young...

And inexperienced.

I've been practicing for almost two years.

- Are you stupid, then? - No, I wouldn't say that.

That makes this whole thing even stranger, I think. Right?

- What thing? - What you prescribed.

To my wife.

- Sit down, and we can... - No. What you did is malpractice.

But before I go to Lena, I want to hear what you have to say.

- You mean what Helga said about you? - Have you been talking about me?

Did you prescribe painkillers and benzos to Helga because of me?

Sorry, I thought maybe you had talked,

but I can't say, I have a duty of confidentiality.

Helga is an addict. She lies to get pills.

I don't think she lied.

What did she say, then?

I can't say, I have a duty of confidentiality.

Then I'm going to Lena.

"She loved him, only him."

"But he couldn't love anything that hadn't already passed."

I wrote that.

- Are you mocking me? - On the contrary.

I think about that sentence almost daily.

Yeah, I like that sentence too.

- Should we review things, maybe? - Sit down.

What did Helga say?

Helga is disgusted by you. She hates you.

Helga is worried about you.

She thinks you seem stressed,

and feels that you're heading into another depression.

- Did she say that? - Yes.

That she's worried about me?

- She's not well. Back pain. - That's bullshit.

But it was because, she said, your anxiety is so powerful

that it spreads to her.

Fuck, that's awful. I didn't know it was that bad.

Have you been feeling extra tired lately? I mean the last week, specifically.

Yeah, actually. Definitely. Morning and night.

- I'm completely wiped. - Yeah. And your sex drive, how is that?

No problems. Works perfectly. I love fucking Helga.

You've seen her yourself. It's not that strange.

That's not my focus here.

If I may be frank, you're showing symptoms of depression, Patrik.

Do you get feelings of panic?

And anxiety.

Maybe I just have control issues.

Helga isn't an easy match. It's a full-time job keeping an eye on her.

I love her drive, but she's hiding something. She lies to me.

I pick up from daycare, I cook, pay bills.

I'm going under. But I didn't know it was that bad.

That it was affecting her. Did she say that?

Listen to me, my mind is all over the place.

I see Lena has you on a low dose of sertraline.

What about it?

No, I can't interfere.

Lena is a psychiatrist, one of the best in the country.

She's a bit old school, sure,

but no, it would be like I'm trying to steal her patient.

Forget it. So, what would you do?

Say it!

- If I were your patient. - Yeah...

Great. I knew there was a reason I came here today.

And then, Gabriel, I was thinking... No, forget it.

Lena! Really great guy. See you. I have to run.

- Bye. - Bye, Patrik.

Tell us a bit about your book!

"Mom, Dad, Father." Is it that one?

She hasn't read any of my books.

- Sheyma? Help me a bit here. - Coming.

Damn, you girls are going for it! This looks fucking great.

Should we put this down here? Is it too much or nice?

- I think it's nice. - This is really nice.

- I think it's lovely. - So fucking pretty.

Are you wearing that to the costume party?

That's what I was thinking. A little angel, maybe.

What do you think, darling? Is this too cheesy?

- Cool. - I think it's cool.

It looks amazing.

I want Helga to sew stuff for the costume party.

- Great idea. - Right? Great for your brand.

- There'll be good people there. - I've got loads to do before Copenhagen.

Yeah, okay. I've just put Vilma to bed. So I thought maybe...

I need to finish up here.

- I just wanted to say I'm off to bed. - Good night.

Yeah, sleep well. I've started some new medication.

It's some kind of anti-anxiety thing. So I'm totally, like, chill.

- That's great, honey. - It's fucking great. It's thanks to you.

I mean it. It's him, your new guy.

Gabriel, Lena's new guy. We really connected.

We could really talk about everything. Sleep well.

There we go! I've activated your key card.

Great, thank you so much!

- Hi! - Hi! I'd like to book a room.

Do you have one at the top with a view of the park?

You'll send the stuff then?

Absolutely, I'll fix that. See you tomorrow.

- Thank you for today. - Love you.

- Hi, Kristin. - Hi, Gabriel. What are you up to?

- Nothing special. - I'm throwing a housewarming party.

Do you want to come?

- That sounds nice. - The door code is...

Actually, I forgot, I've arranged to meet a friend.

- Unfortunately, I can't come. - Okay.

He's calling now, I have to hang up.

- Yeah, see you. - Bye.

For me, beauty comes from the inside and I want you...

What the f...

try to focus on glowing skin...

I feel like that makes you both feel good inside and outside. And then, I...

- Helga. Hi. - Hi.

What are you doing here?

I'm just taking a little power walk. What are you doing?

Walking home. I've had a few beers. Nice to see you.

It's strange to run into you right now,

because Patrik just said that you gave him some new medication.

And that you apparently really connected.

Did he say that? Good that he believed that.

- I didn't say anything. - What did you say then?

- Nothing about that. - Did he ask you to talk to me?

- Did you two come up with a sick plan... - No.

Breathe on me.

- What? - Breathe on me.

You don't smell like beer.

- I don't know... - Why are you so nervous?

What the hell have you two been... Did you tell him the things I told you?

I have confidentiality, and I keep it. I would never say anything about you.

Yeah, I hope so.

Do you know what he says about you?

He says you're an addict who lies to get painkillers.

I didn't believe him.

So I prescribed him medication for your sake.

Yes, it's true.

It's anti-anxiety. He feels better from it, but it makes him tired.

Can I ask, did he fall asleep early tonight?

- Yes. - Yes.

I just want to...

I'm sorry.

I can get a bit paranoid sometimes.

That's okay. I just want to say that you can trust me.

With anything.

Yes.

There actually is one thing I'd like to...

A terrible thing.

Helga!

- Hey! - Hi!

- What the hell are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

- Is everything okay? Nice to see you. - How are you?

I'm fine. Who is this?

This is Martin. He's my friend Felix's boyfriend.

- You know Felix? - No.

Yes. This is Klas, and Klas is dating,

or well, I guess he's with Olivia now, who's Patrik's sister.

But it's a secret, so you can't tell anyone.

If you do...

- I'm actually meeting Olivia at Hommage. - Now?

I think she'd love it if you joined.

Yeah, absolutely. Want to come, Martin?

No, it's late. I have to go home to Felix.

- It was nice meeting you. - Bye. Say hi to Felix.

She'll be so happy to see you.

- I just need to... Just two minutes. - Do it.

I'm pregnant. I don't know what to...

- Call me. You can trust me. - Okay.

- Hommage, then. - Okay.

- Great timing! And Olivia is there? - Yes.

Hi. I forgot my earphones.

What are you doing?

- What did you say? - What are you doing?

I...

I wrote a note.

A note?

Yes, I...

I'm a bit shy, as you may know.

So I wrote a note that I thought you'd find tomorrow.

I'd really like to take you out to dinner. I like you, Kristin.

Okay. Like me as...? In what way?

Like I noticed you've put your hair up since we met at the rooftop bar.

And that you invited me to your party.

And that you seem to enjoy my company.

It really suits you, the hair. Your eyes and cheekbones stand out.

How about Friday evening?

- I can't on Friday, but maybe Saturday? - That sounds great. Lovely.

- Okay. - How nice.

Okay.

Why did you want to become a doctor?

I found school easy. It seemed like a sensible option.

Answer honestly.

I had good grades and...

Yeah, and then?

- I don't think that's relevant. - But I want to know.

Sometimes I think I should have been something else.

Yeah, it's tough to know what you want.

What do you mean?

- What does anyone want from their life? - What do you want?

With life?

Love.

Isn't that what it all comes down to in the end? We want to be loved.

It sounds simple, but...

Have you got...?

Yes.

You take this first pill tonight.

Then come to the practice on Saturday, to get the second...

No, it's Patrik's birthday on Saturday.

The practice is empty then. We can't wait. After 12 weeks, you'll need surgery.

No, just give me the other pill, and I'll sort it out.

If anything goes wrong, it's my responsibility.

As your doctor. And as...

...your friend.

Okay.

We're cowboys, okay? We're rodeo cowboys!

Little Mommy? Little Mommy.

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Daddy Happy birthday to you

- Wait! The candles. Happy birthday! - Okay. Help me.

Okay, one, two, three!

Vilma!

Vilma, come on now! We're leaving.

- You too, darling. How are you? - Not good, actually.

- What do you mean? - I don't know what it is. Not good.

- You poor thing. - I've been shivering all night.

- What? You don't feel that hot. - But I am hot.

Okay. You're not just trying to dodge the lunch?

Patrik, please. Stop being suspicious, I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Poor thing. You know what? Stay home and rest.

We'll head off and see you tonight. You'll be better by then.

- I hope I am. - You have to be!

It's a party in my honor, and my queen has to be there. Get some rest now. Vilma!

- Dear friends, let's gather for a moment. - Yes.

My beloved son, and soon my director.

Patrik will direct me in his new film.

The book is becoming a film! So now it's official.

I'll be playing myself.

It feels very strange and almost a bit perverse.

I understand that.

- It's better than being written out. - Yeah. Sorry, sis.

If you don't want to win the Palme d'Or and an Oscar... That's up to you.

But your boyfriend will take care of that.

I don't need you.

- Cheers, everyone! - Cheers!

Cheers!

What about your Danish brother? Can he be in the film?

We have to find a cameo role for you.

Repeat after me.

Galumph, went the sweet little frog one day

- You are the actor. - Yes.

Okay. I'm sitting here with Klas Recke, Sweden's most sensitive and intense actor.

He's going to play me, Patrik Gregorius, in my upcoming film.

What did you say when I offered you the role?

- I said, "You and I aren't alike at all." - And what did I say?

"If the Film Institute has a problem, then they're racists and can go to hell."

- Great. I'm so proud. - Was it too much?

No, it's perfect. You're amazing. I'll tag you in this.

Hey, does Helga have a gay friend called Martin or Mattias?

- Dark hair. Kind of handsome. - No, no Martin. I know her friends. Why?

Nah, never mind. I'm just rambling. Oh wow, was that a little yawn?

I'm on new meds, I'm completely wiped. What's Sheyma doing here?

- She's with Olivia, I think. - Look, my brother's hitting on her.

- He told me he's engaged. - Okay?

He's talking shit. He's too much like me. One second.

- Søren! - Yeah?

- Come on, I want to talk to you. - I'll be back.

Can I get another one?

Helga, you can't.

No...

Could you come and sit here for a bit?

I need to lie down.

You're kind to me, Gabriel.

You deserve to be treated that way.

Patrik is kind too. He...

- He puts up with me. - You haven't done anything wrong.

Then why am I here?

It's his fault. Not yours.

- Another one? - Yeah, give me one more.

- Wait, wait. - Okay.

- Sweetie, get Lena. - What?

Get Lena!

Lena!

- Here! Here! It's my heart! - Calm down. Breathe.

Do you love someone, Gabriel?

I can tell you do by the way your heart is beating.

You're someone it feels good to be loved by.

Helga, you...

- You could be free. - No.

You could. You could...

I could never leave Patrik.

All my friends in Sweden, my daughter, my whole life...

It all belongs to him.

It sounds insane, but I sometimes think it would be so much better if he was dead.

It's going to be okay. I promise you.

Everything will be fine.

- You okay? - Something is wrong.

It's completely normal.

What's happening to me?

- You're fine. Is someone here? - No, there's no one here, Lena.

- We don't know that. Hello? - There's no one here.

Patrik, if you sit on the chair here and just try to take it easy, breathe.

- That won't help. It's my heart. - I know it feels like that.

I'm getting your medication.

- Fuck, that's strange. - What's strange?

Kristin said it'd be here, but it isn't.

- I'm going to throw up. - Does it feel like that?

Let's go to the bathroom.

It's okay. Let's go to the bathroom. Come on. Lean on me.

- I'm going to throw up now. - It's okay, go ahead.

- Hello! - Hi, what are you doing here?

I'm prepping for this week's patients. How are you, Patrik?

- Not good. It's my heart. - He's having a panic attack.

Which is very strange, considering all the anti-anxiety medication you've put him on.

- Do you have the medicine cabinet key? - No.

- I don't want any sedatives. - You need them.

I don't want them! Can't you just examine me?

- I think you should examine him. - Can't you just examine me?

- No sedatives. - I'll get the stethoscope. Just breathe.

Do you want a sick bag, Patrik? I'll get it from the bathroom now.

- What do we do? - Nothing. Wait here.

Look what I found on the bathroom floor. Kristin must have dropped it.

- I'll get the meds. - I'll listen.

Here, Patrik. A sick bag. Do you need to vomit?

- Patrik, look at me. It's okay. - Feel this.

I'm going to listen to your heart now. So just breathe.

- Yes, I am. - And be as quiet as you possibly can.

What happened, Patrik? I won't tell Lena. Why don't you want sedatives?

Because I did a line at the party.

I don't want to mix it with sedatives. Am I going to die now?

- I'm going to die! I am! - No. Good thing I'm here.

- Here I come with the meds. - No, he just needs fresh air.

- He says I'm not taking anything! - Oh my God!

- Help him. I'll turn the lights off. - I just need to go to the bathroom.

No!

Wait!

- What is it? - Patrik's heart. We must go to the ER.

- What do you mean? - It's okay.

- Cocaine overdose. Don't tell anyone. - Okay.

I'll pull the car around. If you take care of Patrik, I'll just put on my shoes.

- It's okay, Patrik. - I told you.

Come here, Patrik. It'll be fine.

If we go to the ER now, they'll find out about the cocaine.

- We can't. We can't do that. - They'll take a blood test and see it.

We can't, Gabriel. It's going to be all over the news. It'll be a scandal.

- If you don't want to... - It doesn't matter I'm going to die now.

- You have to breathe now, Patrik. Focus. - Yeah. No...

- Patrik, look at me. - I can't. I am.

What are you doing?

- Now breathe. - I am breathing!

- Out through your mouth. - Yeah.

You feel better now, right? Can you feel your heart?

Has it calmed down?

Yeah, what the hell. What happened? I'm fine.

- That's insane. - What?

Your anxiety is so powerful, Patrik, that I mistook it for a heart attack.

But I can tell the danger has passed. You don't need to go in. If you don't want to.

No. No, forget it.

- That's crazy! - I'm here now. Are you coming?

It was a false alarm, Lena. It's fine. I'm fine.

- It was a panic attack. I apologize. - Yeah, that's what I said.

You saved me, Gabriel.

- How are you? Are you okay? - I'm fine. Sorry.

- Go now. I'll go in and lock up. - One second, Gabriel. Wait.

Go to Mom's and kiss Vilma. I'll go home and change.

On one condition: that you take it very easy tonight.

- I mean very easy, okay? - Yes. Sorry.

- It's fine. - I promise. Sorry.

I'll take care of your mom and daughter. Bye, Gabriel.

- Thanks. - I need to lock up.

I'm coming with you. I can't be alone.

- But go... - I'm coming with you.

I can't be alone. Okay? Just a while.

But we can't. I have to... You know what?

Let's go to a bar. Have a drink so you can relax.

Are you kidding? A drink?

That's brilliant. Of course we're doing that.

I'm reborn, for fuck's sake. That has to be celebrated.

But no bar. I've got wine and liquor at home.

- That won't work. - It'll be great.

Come on. Let's party!

I'm alive, motherfucker!

Gabbe!

We're on our way to your place. It just happened, unplanned. Get out.

What the fuck?

Gabriel, isn't life wonderful?

I'm turning 35 today. I'm surrounded by family.

I have a career that gives me artistic and spiritual fulfillment.

A miracle of a daughter and a beautiful wife.

A damn beautiful wife, right?

- Regarding Helga... - What about her?

Well...

Now that I've gotten to know you

and the anxiety you're living with a little better...

What?

I mean that you and Helga are both A-type people.

She's out walking.

Walking? Constant fucking walking. What happened to taking a taxi?

- Helga and you... - Forget Helga. Cheers!

- Cheers to life and to you, Dr. Glas. - Cheers.

- You had a panic attack. - No, it wasn't a panic attack.

I've had a thousand of those. This was something else.

I felt death's cold hands on my shoulders.

It's true. Everything went black.

But then you came and put your hand on my chest and pulled me back into the light.

I don't give a damn whether it was medical or not. I know what happened.

I'm eternally grateful to you.

My friend, the archangel Gabriel.

- It was nothing. - You don't say much.

But you see me. You really see me.

And I can see in your eyes that you don't judge.

It's beautiful.

- This is okay, right? - Yes.

- Want one? - No.

- We really need to talk about this. - I feel like I want to give you something.

I know, here! Of course! What do you think of this?

It should fit you, right? We've got more in the bedroom. Come.

We're having a costume party tonight.

I'm going as a king. Or an angel or something.

We got a ton from the stylist. Try that one. Or one of these should fit.

Tonight's going to be really twisted. Lots of sex and drugs and stupidity.

Try this one! This may suit you.

What do you think? You're coming with us. And you're going to keep an eye on Helga.

- Am I coming? - You were onto something with her.

She's meeting another guy just now, on her 'walk'.

- Why do you think that? - I feel it in my soul.

Like I've got a sixth sense or something.

She's talking to some other guy. She wasn't sick this morning, I know that.

But if that's the case, you have to leave her.

Leave her? You're sure it wasn't a heart attack?

- Yes. What's that? - A little gift to myself.

I'm thinking I'm gonna get so fucking high tonight.

Take a bunch of Viagra

and fuck Helga so much that she forgets the other little guy.

Do you... want to join?

- Huh? - What are you talking about?

Do you want to fuck my wife?

In front of me, maybe. Or with me.

I think she'd like that.

I think I'd like that too, actually.

Should we do it now, before the party?

You can be honest with me.

Hey, shut up about this. I'll work it in. You'll see.

- Hi, darling. - Hi.

Oh my god, you really are sick. I doubted you.

- I just need to rest. - No, you can't do that. Gabriel is here.

We've had a really fucked-up day. He saved my life.

Yes. First we went to his practice,

and then he got Lena to not give me sedatives as I'd taken a little coke.

And then he gave me mental CPR.

- Did you take coke? - A little. You want some too?

To wake up. But start with a little whisky.

Whisky is not good if you have a fever.

- I think whisky is great, actually. - It's good for fever. Everyone knows that.

There we go.

Now Helga wants to party!

- Gabriel's coming to the party. - That's fun!

Come on! Let's go change.

- How are you? - You have to leave.

- I can't. You can't go to the party. - Don't say that. This is my home.

- Patrik is going to... - That's enough. Please, leave.

- Are you coming, or what? - Yes.

Hey, my love... Are you seeing someone else, or what?

- No? - No.

You know you can tell me.

- I wouldn't get angry. - I'm not.

- Hey there, Gabbe. - Maybe not in front of him, okay?

Gabriel's a doctor. He has a professional attitude toward bodies.

Right?

Put the dress on now. What happened to the music?

Try on a costume.

I'm not taking no for an answer. It's my birthday and I've been reborn. Which one?

Good choice. Nice one, Gabriel. There we go. Now it's a party.

Looking good, darling! Come here.

Check this out.

Try this one. Put it on. Try it.

- Sweetie? - Here. Come on, want a little coke?

- Can you help me with this? - Yeah, I'll help you. Come here.

I'm not going to be difficult with you tonight. Come on. Here.

Patrik, take it easy with that. Remember you just had a panic attack.

It wasn't a panic attack, that's what you said, right?

About that, Gabriel, we need to change my meds. I'm losing my sex drive.

And that feels like a fucking waste when I have such a sexy wife.

Right?

She is sexy, isn't she? I feel like doing something really stupid.

What would you say about kissing Gabriel?

- Patrik. - Come on, Gabriel.

Come kiss Helga. Come on.

- Patrik. What? - Yeah, come on, Gabriel.

- Kiss Gabriel? - It's my birthday. Come on.

It's not that big a deal, right?

A little kiss.

Come on. Kiss each other.

What are you doing, Gabriel?

We're joking with you.

You're our doctor.

Are you serious? Are you trying to have some kind of threesome here?

We're joking with you, right?

Gabbe! Hey, Gabbe! Sorry, sorry. I apologize.

You can't talk about my wife like that.

You put ideas in my head. You see, she only loves me.

You look completely shaken. Sorry. Okay?

Let's see each other next week instead. Go now. Wish me good luck.

Don't worry. I'm gonna fuck her really hard at the party later.

I know what she likes.

Fuck, you look so good, darling.

What do you think of this one?

- I just feel like... - Yes.

What about this one? Try it on.

Sometimes it's hard to find words

that don't make you sound like a Love Island contestant.

Okay, Patrik,

my beloved fucking brother from the same fucking mother!

Not the same fucking mother for you, Søren,

but the same fucking promiscuous father.

- You're a genius. - Cut it out!

And you're the most beautiful person on the inside as well as on the outside.

It's totally insane!

We love you so much.

And tonight you turn thirty-fucking-five!

And the party will go on until long after midnight.

So now, four cheers!

Hip, hip, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray!

Come on now!

Oh! That's so nice!

- I'll be right back. - Where are you going?

- I'm just going to look around a bit. - Okay.

Who are you? Do you have a name?

I'm afraid you'll have to leave.

I have a delivery. A birthday present for Patrik.

He asked us to be discreet.

- Welcome. - Thanks.

- Did you sort out the suite? - Yeah, it's nice.

So you can relax.

Fuck, you're really going for it! My little baby!

It's sexist to call a woman "little", especially when she does coke like a man.

Shut up, Olivia!

- Oh, someone had a little too much. - Where are you going?

- Have a smoke here instead. - I need some air.

Come on. Don't smoke outside.

- Oh, fuck! - Who are you?

Is that you, Dad? Are you here to take me to pre-school?

Phantom of the Opera, take off your mask, or I'll call the sexy guard.

Be gone, faster than Oliver's ex-boyfriend, please!

- Where are we going? - Come on, I've got a surprise for you.

- But I need a smoke! - Come here now. Come. Come, come, come.

- Should I close my eyes? - Close your eyes. Okay.

- Ready? - Yes.

- What is it? Patrik, can you...? - Okay, this way.

No, let go of me! Stop it!

I didn't mean it like that.

I didn't mean it like that, darling. Darling!

Helga!

Can we talk about this? You don't have to be afraid of me.

Helga!

Darling! Helga!

Who the fuck are you? Get out!

Get out!

Hi.

What do you mean "hi"? What are you doing here?

What are you talking about? You invited me.

Why don't you say hi like a normal person?

You're high, Patrik. You're paranoid.

- Have you seen Helga? - No.

- Wait. Wait, Patrik. - Why?

There's something I haven't told you. About Helga.

- It's serious. - Tell me.

- I just have to... Come. - Just tell me, what is it?

We need to sit down. It's serious. I need something to drink.

I don't want a drink. Tell me, what's up with Helga?

I will tell you.

I...

I should have told you earlier.

She... She told me the first time, when...

When...

...she came to see me.

Here.

Drink now. Cheers. You need this.

Drink.

You have to stay calm when you hear this.

- Gabriel, I'm going to leave. - I get it! Trust me.

What's going on with Helga?

- Have you seen Klas? - No. Sorry.

Helga had an abortion.

- What? - She was pregnant.

With your child.

- What? - Yes.

But she didn't want to give you another child, so she got rid of it.

How do you know this?

Because I'm the one who performed the abortion.

Today.

At the clinic.

What are you talking about?

We planned it all. Helga wasn't sick today, she just said she was.

- She was lying down, in a lot of pain. - What are you saying?

Helga was hiding in the bathroom.

So I said you were having a heart attack to get you out of there.

Are you kidding? This isn't funny!

- I've been lying to you. - What?

This whole time.

Here.

- There she is. - You're insane!

No, Helga is the one who wanted it. She's disgusted by you. She hates you.

She asked me to get rid of the baby, so I've only helped her.

Let go! Let go!

You're insane! You're completely fucking insane!

- Klas? - What?

Hi!

- What are you doing here? - I'm just taking a breather.

- Having a good birthday? - Yeah, it's fine.

- Good. Okay. - Yes.

- You okay? - Yeah, I'm good.

- Is something up with Helga? - No, it's fine. I'm coming.

- You can tell... - It's fine. I promise.

- Have you seen Klas? - He's out there.

- No, he's not out there. - He's in the courtyard. I'm coming.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

- I shouldn't have done that to you. - What?

Helga... I talked to Helga just now.

I'm an idiot, Gabriel.

She said she was scared of me. Fuck, I've misunderstood everything!

Fuck, I'm so stupid! I have to talk to Helga. I have to talk to her...

Gabriel! Help me, Gabriel!

I'm not going to help you.

- Call an ambulance! - I'm not going to call one.

- Hi, sis. You seen Patrik? - You seen Klas?

- No. - What?

Sheyma and I want to blindfold him and sing

"You Were Always On My Mind". Perfect!

- What? - Whatever. Where's Patrik?

- He's upstairs in the dining room. - Let's go there.

You're going to die, Patrik. Look at me.

You're going to die now.

And before you do, I want you to know it was me who did it.

Do you understand? Look at me, Patrik. Look at me. It was me.

Look at me. It's the last thing you'll see.

I'm the one who did it. Look at me, Patrik. I had to do it.

Patrik, look at me.

Look at me.

It'll be great to see his face when we sing for him.

- I think he'll be so happy. - Patrik!

- Patrik! - Patrik!

- Patrik! Help! Help! - Help! Take it easy.

Do something!

Helg...

Hi.

Isn't that your gay friend?

I don't know.

Thanks.

The beloved author Patrik Gregorius is dead.

He died suddenly last night

during his 35th birthday party outside Stockholm.

Patrik died of a fentanyl overdose.

I've had to review the medication

you prescribed and issued.

It's concerning, Gabriel.

I'm going to have to be transparent with the police about it.

Your daughter must be proud of you.

She probably couldn't care less what I do But I hope she's proud.

But more because I try to be a present and good dad.

What's your problem?

Get her out of here!

Let go of me!

Helga!

No, no, no. You're coming.

Hey, what the hell are you doing? Fuck off.

- Little Vilma... - Mommy?

Now she's alone with that horrible woman.

It's probably her fault that he started using drugs.

Don't make it harder than it is. Come on, Vilma.

No! You can't take her! Let go!

She's horrible. She's ice-cold. She's calculating.

- Come on, Vilma. - Let go of her!

You want to be with Mom.

Vilma lives with her grandmother now.

No, Vilma! No!

Vilma!

A video is spreading on social media

of Helga Gregorius doing coke two weeks after her husband's overdose.

- How do you feel about that? - I can relate, actually.

Is it a breakdown, or is it meant as a tribute to him?

- Both, I hope. - Have you read anything else by him?

Helga!

Hey! I'm outside. Should I buzz the intercom?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah. I'll buzz. Okay.

- Hello? - It's me.

- I'm opening. - Thanks.

- Just go. Get out of here. - Please, you said you needed me.

Let me in, for fuck's sake. Talk to me.

- I'm sitting right here. - You don't know what I need.

- Then tell me! - I'm telling you. Go away!

I don't believe you.

Is it that fucking guy at the costume party - Martin?

- Do you have something going on? - Don't talk to me like that.

You know what? You mean nothing to me.

- Nothing. - You're just like Olivia and Patrik.

You use people and dump them when you don't need them.

Klas, you were going to play Patrik in Patrik's film!

You stood there saying you loved him! Fuck you!

You just wanted to fuck his wife! You wanted his life!

- Take care. - Get out of here!

What are you doing?

I've been trying to call you.

You climbed up?

Everyone's worried about you. Patrik's mother and Lena.

They... asked me to talk to you.

- And you agreed to that? - No.

I'm here for your sake.

I'm afraid you'll hurt yourself.

They want to take Vilma from me, so...

- So what? - What the hell do you think?

Since Patrik died, everything's been upside down, and you're right.

I've thought about hurting myself. I want to be alone.

I'm free. But it doesn't feel like it.

- Were you at the costume party? - No.

Klas said you were.

I don't know what Klas has gotten into his head.

Did you see us just now?

I won't say anything.

We'll talk about it later, because I need to rest now.

Window or door?

Maybe I'll come to your clinic some time this week.

I can't sleep at all. I guess it's PTSD or something.

- I can't be your doctor anymore. - Why not?

- Why? - Because...

No, no. Gabriel.

Sorry.

- Well... - It's okay.

It was Klas's child I aborted, wasn't it?

What?

What are you talking about?

You didn't want to leave Patrik.

You just didn't want people to find out you'd cheated.

What do you mean?

I should've listened to what Patrik said, what everyone says about you.

You lie, you manipulate people to get what you want.

You're a junkie and a bad mother. No one is trying to take Vilma from you.

She's not here because you don't care. You care only about yourself.

- I want you to leave. - No.

You lied to me the whole time. Everything was a lie. Isn't that right?

Patrik was right. He was innocent. A good dad, but you wanted him dead.

You asked me to kill him. You made me do it.

And now you're acting like you're sad about it.

- Now you pretend... - No, no, no!

What the fuck?

No, Gabriel! Please! Please, drop the knife.

- What do you want from me? - I want the truth.

Drop the knife and I'll tell you the truth.

Okay?

Please, sit down.

I don't know whose child it was.

I was sleeping with Patrik and Klas. How would I know?

Either way, I didn't want another child.

I was going to leave Patrik, but...

That night he brought me up to the suite,

and wanted to do some crazy sex thing.

I don't know... It was the last straw for me.

I snapped and I screamed out what I hadn't dared say before.

That I was afraid of him, that I wanted to leave but didn't dare.

Things I got the courage from you to say, Gabriel.

But strangely enough, he didn't take it the way I thought he would.

He broke down and said we should go home and talk about everything, about us.

But then he touched me and...

Now, I don't think he meant anything by it.

But right then, in that moment, I couldn't handle it, so I ran.

I'd decided I was going to meet Klas, but I already knew then that it was over...

I left Klas there. And you know what?

Right then, in that moment,

I felt almost hopeful.

I was proud.

Then I got back to the castle, and I thought Patrik had killed himself.

No! Let go of me!

Because of what I'd said, that it was my fault.

I can't even look my own daughter in the eye anymore.

For fuck's sake, you fucking psycho!

I was finally going to leave him, and then you took that from me!

No. You said...

You said you wanted him to die.

You said it. You said it! That's what you said!

It was just a thought... something I said. How the hell could you think I meant that?

Did he rape you? Or was that also just something you said?

I've never lied to you, Gabriel.

- How can I believe you? - Why can't you?

Is it because I drink and take pills and had an abortion and cheated

and because the media and people I don't even know think I'm a junkie

and a bad fucking mother?

Okay, so I am. Does that mean I couldn't have been raped?

Maybe I played on your feelings for me, Gabriel, and I do that sometimes.

And I'm sorry! But it was because I thought you understood me,

that you were the only one who saw me!

But you see me the exact same way everyone else does.

Either like a saint or a fucking whore.

What if I'm both? Or what if I'm neither?

What if I'm also a complex, real person?

Like you. Like Patrik.

I've done so many things wrong. And I'm absolutely not perfect.

But I loved Patrik, and I hated him too.

- That doesn't add up. It's not logical. - According to whose fucking logic?

What the hell do you want me to say to you, Gabriel?

We can discuss truth and lies all we want,

but you choose whether you believe me or not.

But the only thing we know in this moment is

that right now you're standing there with a knife,

threatening a woman who's been your patient, who's a mother,

and you killed her husband. That's the truth, Gabriel.

The consequences of love are horrific.

What more can I say?

My words mean nothing.

And I have no one to talk to.

From earth you came, to earth you shall return.

From earth you came, to earth you shall return.

From filth you came, to filth you shall return.

From filth I came, to filth I shall return.

My dreams are violent. I dream of love.

I dream of love.

Revised and Synchronized by FAST TITLES MEDIA