Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,415 --> 00:00:08,341
(epic action music playing)
2
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:27,193
Now that I, Chinnos,
finally wield the Doomsday App,
3
00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:30,479
I can restart this planet
in flames,
4
00:00:30,556 --> 00:00:31,814
as a utopia.
5
00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:34,024
I don't know, Chinnos.
You say "utopia,"
6
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,868
but what I'm hearing is
"kill everyone."
7
00:00:35,945 --> 00:00:38,704
And I really don't want to find
a new dry cleaner.
8
00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:40,864
Your funny-but-not-too-funny
banter
9
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,784
will not save you,
Magnesium Man.
10
00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:46,712
Yeah, but it did distract you,
didn't it, Dad Bod?
11
00:00:46,789 --> 00:00:47,880
Take him, Airshot!
12
00:00:47,957 --> 00:00:51,050
(weapon clicking)
13
00:00:51,127 --> 00:00:53,719
Yes, Airshot, pump that air gun!
14
00:00:53,796 --> 00:00:56,931
Five pumps?
Think of the pressure.
15
00:01:01,137 --> 00:01:03,646
Aw, what's the matter?
Bad head day?
16
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:10,152
It's time I took the Vindicators
out of the equation.
17
00:01:15,985 --> 00:01:17,827
I'll take that dance now.
18
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,197
(audience crying)
19
00:01:22,274 --> 00:01:26,043
Their first kiss was their last.
20
00:01:35,838 --> 00:01:38,255
(audience crying)
21
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,266
Huh? (stammering)
22
00:01:40,343 --> 00:01:42,310
(snoring)
23
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,056
Wow. It was called Crystal War
24
00:01:47,132 --> 00:01:49,275
because they were all
turned to crystals.
25
00:01:49,352 --> 00:01:52,853
Hey, now is not the time
for your cold-hearted analysis.
26
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,564
The sequel isn't coming out
for a year.
27
00:01:55,641 --> 00:01:58,784
What loving God would make us
wait that long?
28
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,944
A year?
That's, like, a million years.
29
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:04,239
I cannot wait.
Don't you leave me,
30
00:02:04,316 --> 00:02:06,283
you be-cape-ed gob-smashers!
31
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,626
(grunts)
32
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,302
Children, I pulled you
out of your classes today
33
00:02:16,379 --> 00:02:18,971
to warn you of a dangerous
new Internet trend.
34
00:02:19,048 --> 00:02:20,756
The paprika challenge?
35
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,966
(muffled):
The eight ball challenge?
36
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,811
No, the highly-imitatable stunt
I'm referring to
37
00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:27,980
is the "flag yourself"
challenge.
38
00:02:28,057 --> 00:02:30,599
(excited chatter)
39
00:02:30,676 --> 00:02:32,651
Instead of a merely
verbal warning,
40
00:02:32,728 --> 00:02:34,812
it's clear to me
a more effective deterrent
41
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,897
would be to show you
a video of the stunt
42
00:02:36,974 --> 00:02:40,567
performed by YouTube star
Reaction Guy.
43
00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:42,486
Whoa, Reaction Guy?
44
00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:45,406
Everybody who's anybody
gets reacted to by him.
45
00:02:45,482 --> 00:02:47,991
Watch and learn...
to not do this.
46
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:51,578
What up, Reaction Faction?
It's your boy, Reaction Guy.
47
00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:54,340
Today I'm gonna be reacting
to the Flag Yourself Challenge.
48
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:58,127
Shout-out to my crew, Hedgehog,
Thin Mint, and White Malik.
49
00:02:58,203 --> 00:02:59,962
They're gonna raise me
like a flag.
50
00:03:00,038 --> 00:03:01,847
(students exclaiming)
51
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:04,016
(excited chatter)
52
00:03:04,093 --> 00:03:08,595
Whoa-ho!
Whoa, this is so clench!
53
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:09,930
-(overlapping chatter)
-Wow, cool!
54
00:03:10,007 --> 00:03:11,273
Ooh, ooh!
55
00:03:15,721 --> 00:03:16,770
Hey, guys, this is Bart Simpsn
56
00:03:16,847 --> 00:03:18,939
from my new channel,
Reaction Bart.
57
00:03:19,016 --> 00:03:21,367
Big shout-out to my boy White
Seymour for putting me onto
58
00:03:21,444 --> 00:03:24,278
the Flag Yourself Challenge.
So clench!
59
00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:26,705
Okay, hit it. Check it out.
60
00:03:26,782 --> 00:03:29,783
I'm waving at my haters
and they don't even know it.
61
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,536
Clench! Clench! Whoa-ho-ho!
62
00:03:32,571 --> 00:03:33,996
Buy my merch.
63
00:03:34,072 --> 00:03:36,540
Merch to come. Merch!
64
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,383
Whoa.
65
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:44,557
Whoa. His obliques
must be shredded.
66
00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:47,176
I got to check them out
next time we go swimming.
67
00:03:47,252 --> 00:03:50,471
Whoa! (grunting)
68
00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:53,232
Oh, ooh, ow, ooh.
69
00:03:53,309 --> 00:03:55,476
Milhouse, no!
70
00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:57,820
I need your passcode
to upload the video.
71
00:03:59,932 --> 00:04:03,484
Yo, Milhouse, I got you
a balloon form the gift shop.
72
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,569
Oh.
73
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:07,529
So what'd the doctors say?
74
00:04:07,606 --> 00:04:10,082
(groans) I have
a full-body sprain.
75
00:04:10,159 --> 00:04:13,577
Most of my muscles are wrapped
around the wrong bones.
76
00:04:13,588 --> 00:04:15,913
Okay, champ,
physical therapy time.
77
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,090
Who's ready for four hours
of stretch bands?
78
00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:20,342
No, not the purple.
79
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:24,138
(whimpering)
80
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,674
Glucose? (chuckles)
81
00:04:27,751 --> 00:04:29,852
Don't mind if I do-cose.
(slurping)
82
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,014
Okay, mate, you can do this.
83
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:37,059
It's hard, but those little
buggers are counting on you.
84
00:04:37,135 --> 00:04:39,945
Do it for the buggers.
85
00:04:40,022 --> 00:04:41,563
(gulping)
86
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,115
Ugh. (shudders)
87
00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:48,496
(gulping)
88
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,791
-Top of the bing-bong, ladies.
-(gasps)
89
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:55,702
-You're Glen Tangier.
-You're Airshot.
90
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:57,704
Good on you, Nightingales.
91
00:04:57,781 --> 00:04:59,957
Now, who can point me
towards, uh,
92
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,960
"Milhouse Van Houten"?
93
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:06,305
Ooh, right down the hall
and to the left, Glen.
94
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,634
Wow. Flirt much, Debby?
95
00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:12,811
Sorry, we can't all
be married to
96
00:05:12,888 --> 00:05:16,315
Ogdenville's car detailing king
Duke Druthers.
97
00:05:16,392 --> 00:05:18,817
What's up, little bro?
98
00:05:18,894 --> 00:05:21,645
How's my favorite
real-life superhero?
99
00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:24,147
Holy crap, you're Glen Tangier.
100
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:26,483
Uh-uh-uh, never heard of him.
101
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,986
The name's Airshot.
102
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,163
(blows)
103
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,998
You're my favorite Vindicator.
104
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:36,785
You don't even have any powers,
you're just super good at air.
105
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:39,746
Uh, easy now. Don't get
too excited, Milhouse.
106
00:05:39,823 --> 00:05:41,748
Oh, I'm not...
107
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:43,625
I am Milhouse.
108
00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,794
(whimpering)
109
00:05:45,871 --> 00:05:47,713
That's right. (chuckling)
Calm down, hero.
110
00:05:47,789 --> 00:05:50,349
Don't make whatever
you have worse.
111
00:05:50,426 --> 00:05:53,635
Is it something that gets worse?
Please don't say it gets worse.
112
00:05:53,712 --> 00:05:55,854
Oh, don't worry, Airshot,
I'm okay.
113
00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:59,975
Well, aren't you just Pimm
to the brim with Adelaide spunk?
114
00:06:00,052 --> 00:06:01,268
(gulping)
115
00:06:01,345 --> 00:06:03,687
Oh, thank boomerang Jesus
116
00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:05,188
you're not one of those
brave little buggers
117
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,815
that I have to show this to.
118
00:06:06,892 --> 00:06:08,775
Wait, what do you got in there?
119
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:11,862
Oh, it's a laptop
with the sequel
120
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:15,824
to the Vindicators:
Crystal garbage.
121
00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:20,454
(gulping) All that matters is
you're gonna be okay, mate.
122
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:24,166
(yawns) Never wanted
to be an actor anyway,
123
00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:27,886
just a simple koala butcher
like me old man.
124
00:06:27,963 --> 00:06:30,848
(snoring)
125
00:06:33,802 --> 00:06:37,062
Yo, Airshot. Glen.
126
00:06:37,139 --> 00:06:40,182
(snoring continues)
127
00:06:40,258 --> 00:06:42,276
Hello.
128
00:06:43,979 --> 00:06:46,813
(laptop beeps)
129
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,857
Sweet boomerang Jeebus.
130
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:50,868
(epic action music playing)
131
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,033
What an ending.
132
00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:01,411
People are gonna freak out
when they see it...
133
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,246
in a month from now.
134
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:07,376
Till then, I'm the only one
that knows what happens.
135
00:07:07,452 --> 00:07:10,095
Only I know.
136
00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:14,049
I'm the most powerful kid
in the world.
137
00:07:14,126 --> 00:07:16,935
-(thunder crashes)
-(snoring)
138
00:07:17,012 --> 00:07:20,055
Toss that Kanga shank
into the billy-boil.
139
00:07:20,132 --> 00:07:22,941
It'll be tender by moon jump.
140
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:32,401
Yo, Fat Thor, I've seen
Vindicators: Crystal War 2.
141
00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:35,070
-You blaspheme!
-My buddy Airshot
showed it to me.
142
00:07:35,147 --> 00:07:36,955
Ha. I repeat, ha.
143
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:40,283
As if Glen Tangier,
the Tasmanian Adonis,
144
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:45,130
would deign to interact with
someone of your insignificance.
145
00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:47,216
Whoa!
146
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:52,921
You are defeated, Vindicator.
147
00:07:52,998 --> 00:07:56,266
Not as long as
I'm still breathing. (blows)
148
00:07:59,838 --> 00:08:03,056
Sweet batarang Jesus.
Tell me more.
149
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:05,225
Uhp-uhp-uhp-uhp-uhp.
The first taste was free,
150
00:08:05,302 --> 00:08:07,820
the next is gonna cost you.
151
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:11,782
I've had my eye on that
Dr. 3 A.M. graphic novel.
152
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,910
Okay, strap yourself in.
The way it goes down is...
153
00:08:16,313 --> 00:08:18,739
But pause.
The knowledge you offer
154
00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:22,492
would spoil the movie event
of the year. Nay, century.
155
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,003
Nay, epoch. Nay, summer.
156
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,580
Tell me nothing.
157
00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:29,341
Ah,
but my curiosity consumes me.
158
00:08:29,418 --> 00:08:32,419
All right, here's the deal,
the movie starts on the logo...
159
00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:34,513
Silence! Speak!
160
00:08:34,590 --> 00:08:37,599
Speak not. Expound!
161
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,762
I pass the test.
I will diminish
162
00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:44,022
and remain Comic Book Guy.
163
00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:48,185
Mmm. Ooh, shrimp.
164
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:52,773
Hey. What would you give me
not to find out what happens?
165
00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:54,483
(slurps)
166
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,818
Be gone, Spoiler Boy.
167
00:08:56,895 --> 00:08:58,945
Hm, Spoiler Boy.
168
00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:00,706
(laughs)
I like that.
169
00:09:00,783 --> 00:09:04,326
¶ ¶
170
00:09:04,402 --> 00:09:05,952
(gasps) That's the kid who saw
171
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:08,872
Vindicators: Crystal War 2:
Resurgence.
172
00:09:08,883 --> 00:09:11,833
Do what he says
or he'll spoil the ending.
173
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:14,878
I must protect my virgin ears.
174
00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:17,473
-(toilet flushing)
-(gurgling)
175
00:09:21,753 --> 00:09:23,345
I think you can do better
than that.
176
00:09:23,421 --> 00:09:25,514
Four chicken lumpettes
per person.
177
00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:27,849
Even if that person knows
which Vindicator
178
00:09:27,926 --> 00:09:31,737
loses a third of their powers
fighting Karate Scorpion?
179
00:09:31,814 --> 00:09:34,523
Zip it. My boyfriend's taking me
to see that movie
180
00:09:34,599 --> 00:09:36,492
when it gets to
the two-dollar theater.
181
00:09:38,153 --> 00:09:39,870
¶ ¶
182
00:09:42,491 --> 00:09:44,917
Simpson, you're getting
one day of detention
183
00:09:44,993 --> 00:09:48,870
for every extra
lumpette you eat.
184
00:09:48,947 --> 00:09:51,256
Mmm.
185
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:52,916
Detention, is it?
186
00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:55,335
I guess we'll have
plenty of time to discuss
187
00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:58,755
the fate of your favorite
Vindicator, Black Voodoo.
188
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,841
(gasps) The champion
of the French Quarter.
189
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,676
You wouldn't dare spoil
the only thing
190
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:04,344
that brings me joy
in this world.
191
00:10:04,421 --> 00:10:05,637
Give me your toupee.
192
00:10:05,714 --> 00:10:07,681
(laughs) Toupee?
193
00:10:07,757 --> 00:10:09,942
I don't wear a toupee.
194
00:10:10,018 --> 00:10:12,185
We fade in on Bourbon Street...
195
00:10:12,262 --> 00:10:13,153
(gasps softly)
196
00:10:14,639 --> 00:10:15,772
(singing nonsense)
197
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,357
Ooh! (stammers, laughs)
198
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:21,194
Principal Skinner. T-To what
do we owe the honor, sir, at--
199
00:10:21,271 --> 00:10:22,955
Oh, it's just you.
200
00:10:23,031 --> 00:10:25,699
Hey, how'd you get
all this stuff?
201
00:10:25,775 --> 00:10:27,450
'Cause people do whatever I say
202
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,411
or I spoil the Vindicators movie
for them.
203
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:30,796
Like so:
204
00:10:30,873 --> 00:10:33,540
tell Mom it's okay for me
to have soda on my cereal.
205
00:10:33,617 --> 00:10:35,876
I don't know.
Mom's not gonna go for that.
206
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:38,920
Okay. Get ready to hear
the surprise ending.
207
00:10:38,997 --> 00:10:41,139
Let me guess.
The good guys win.
208
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:42,924
(gasps) Who told you?
209
00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:45,302
You can't spoil
that movie for me,
210
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,929
because I don't care
what happens.
211
00:10:48,006 --> 00:10:49,815
You see, as a grown-up,
212
00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:53,602
I know that muscle jerks
in tights with magic powers
213
00:10:53,678 --> 00:10:57,647
punching and hugging each other
is boring BS for babies.
214
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:00,609
So go ahead,
tell me what Captain Doodad does
215
00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:01,827
to Zippity Whoever.
216
00:11:01,904 --> 00:11:03,737
Because it means nothing.
217
00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:07,824
(gasps)
My powers don't work on you.
218
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:11,336
But what if I could make them
work for you?
219
00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:15,290
Hmm. Your sinister tone
intrigues me.
220
00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:18,343
All-you-can-drink beers on me!
221
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:19,511
OTHERS:
Yeah!
222
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:21,513
But paid for by Moe.
223
00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:25,133
All right, I'm not even gonna
dignify that with a "Whaaa?"
224
00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:26,852
(zips)
225
00:11:26,929 --> 00:11:28,595
Do the thing, boy.
226
00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:30,022
No, no, don't ruin it, kid!
227
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:31,932
I'm taking my girlfriend
to that movie
228
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:34,017
when it gets
to the two-dollar theater.
229
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,736
-(Bart chuckling)
-(zips)
230
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:41,700
(Homer groaning)
231
00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:43,911
What time did you get home
last night?
232
00:11:43,946 --> 00:11:45,987
Ugh, it's not my fault.
233
00:11:46,064 --> 00:11:47,781
Bart used his superpower
234
00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:50,700
to get me drunker
than I've ever beer.
235
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,453
(groans) I'm worried that
all this blackmail
236
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:55,622
is turning Bart
into a bad person.
237
00:11:55,699 --> 00:11:57,549
(groans)
238
00:11:58,886 --> 00:11:59,876
(zips)
239
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:00,944
(yawns)
240
00:12:00,946 --> 00:12:03,046
What's the story,
morning glories?
241
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:06,716
Young man, I don't like the way
you're using those spoilies
242
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,477
to boss people around.
243
00:12:09,471 --> 00:12:10,971
What?
244
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:12,180
I was given an amazing power,
245
00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:13,715
so I'm using it.
246
00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:16,902
If you were in my suitcase,
you would do the same thing.
247
00:12:16,979 --> 00:12:21,481
Fans have a deep connection to
the Marble Cinematic Universe.
248
00:12:21,558 --> 00:12:24,910
I would never exploit that,
not for anything.
249
00:12:24,987 --> 00:12:28,238
Oh... wouldn't you?
250
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,208
("True" by Spandau Ballet
playing)
251
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,703
¶ ¶
252
00:12:34,779 --> 00:12:37,872
(American accent): Lisa Simpson,
I think your superpower
253
00:12:37,949 --> 00:12:39,416
must be stealing hearts.
254
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,335
OTHERS:
Aw...
255
00:12:42,412 --> 00:12:44,879
How do you feel
about exploitation now?
256
00:12:44,956 --> 00:12:48,341
(giggling): It's okay.
257
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,885
(regular accent): How much
longer do I have to keep up
258
00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:52,771
this kookaburra charade?
259
00:12:52,848 --> 00:12:55,598
How badly do you not want
your bosses at Marble Studios
260
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,902
to know that I used your drunken
thumb to see that movie?
261
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,616
You think I'm your jolly
swagman, do you?
262
00:13:04,693 --> 00:13:06,526
Well, my jumbuck's gonna be free
263
00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:08,611
from your tucker bag
next Thursday,
264
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:12,198
when that movie goes wide
on every screen in creation.
265
00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:15,702
And after that, you're nothing.
266
00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:18,747
Let's get this party finished!
267
00:13:18,823 --> 00:13:21,207
(dance music playing)
268
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,043
He's right.
269
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,294
I'm running out of time.
270
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,755
This is... endgame!
271
00:13:26,831 --> 00:13:30,425
And so, today, we celebrate
the 200th birthday
272
00:13:30,502 --> 00:13:33,136
of our beloved oak tree,
Old Susie.
273
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:36,639
Her stately branches
have shaded our town's weddings,
274
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:41,102
family reunions,
and quincen-- quincien--
275
00:13:41,179 --> 00:13:43,897
uh, Mexican bar mitzvahs.
276
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:45,157
We're, uh, ow!
277
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:46,232
(chuckling)
278
00:13:46,309 --> 00:13:49,444
Cover you ears!
It's Spoiler Boy!
279
00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:50,945
That's right. It's me.
280
00:13:51,022 --> 00:13:52,947
And if you don't want
the movie spoiled,
281
00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:55,116
you'll all pull together
and build me
282
00:13:55,193 --> 00:13:58,286
the ultimate tree house
of my own design.
283
00:13:58,363 --> 00:14:00,747
Right here in Old Susie.
284
00:14:00,824 --> 00:14:01,790
(all gasp)
285
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:04,125
Not in Old Susie!
286
00:14:04,202 --> 00:14:06,503
Everyone in this town
loves that tree!
287
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,588
We have no choice.
288
00:14:08,665 --> 00:14:12,017
He's got us all
by the short and curlies.
289
00:14:12,094 --> 00:14:16,805
Unless the boy should meet
with an unfortunate accident.
290
00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:20,525
Oh. And if anything suspicious
should happen to me,
291
00:14:20,602 --> 00:14:23,853
I've hired the loudest man
in town to yell the ending
292
00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,980
on every street corner.
293
00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:27,866
I'm on it!
294
00:14:27,943 --> 00:14:30,693
You have 24 hours
to build my tree house.
295
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,320
The clock is ticking.
296
00:14:32,397 --> 00:14:33,705
(laughs evilly)
297
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:36,950
(gasps)
298
00:14:37,026 --> 00:14:37,876
(humming)
299
00:14:37,953 --> 00:14:39,494
Hey, buddy.
300
00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:40,662
You're out of the hospital.
301
00:14:40,738 --> 00:14:42,789
Don't you "Hey, buddy" me.
302
00:14:42,866 --> 00:14:44,883
You stole my visit
from Airshot.
303
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,876
You-- you villain!
304
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,721
Me, a villain?
No way.
305
00:14:49,798 --> 00:14:51,548
You just blackmailed
the whole town
306
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,891
to build you a lair.
307
00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:55,060
Okay. I will grant you
the optics on the lair
308
00:14:55,137 --> 00:14:56,728
are less than ideal.
309
00:14:56,805 --> 00:14:59,389
You have actual powers
which you use for evil.
310
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,900
You're a supervillain!
311
00:15:01,977 --> 00:15:04,853
You dare call me a supervillain?
312
00:15:04,929 --> 00:15:06,396
Then get a load of this:
313
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,649
the biggest spoiler
in the whole movie!
314
00:15:09,726 --> 00:15:11,693
BOTH:
Magnesium Man!
315
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:12,911
Don't say another word!
316
00:15:12,988 --> 00:15:15,413
The fate of our universe
depends on it.
317
00:15:17,159 --> 00:15:18,458
(Bart screams)
318
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,372
(Bart groans)
319
00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:25,423
(yelps)
320
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,925
Where the hell am I?
321
00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:29,085
Relax there, Spoiler Boy.
322
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,254
All we did was take you
from your dimension into ours.
323
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:33,506
You know, the Marble universe?
324
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:36,935
What you consider to be movies
make up our reality.
325
00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,771
No way. Superheroes aren't real.
326
00:15:39,848 --> 00:15:41,764
How dumb do you think I am?
327
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,943
(gasps)
Actual superpowers!
328
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,112
Everything you see
in your Vindicator movies
329
00:15:47,189 --> 00:15:48,771
actually happens to us.
330
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,608
Even the post-credit sequences?
331
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,818
-Mm.
-We brought you here
332
00:15:53,895 --> 00:15:57,122
to see the result
of your selfish actions.
333
00:15:58,483 --> 00:16:00,792
Whoa! Airshot! Dead?
334
00:16:00,869 --> 00:16:02,294
But in the movie he lives.
335
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,962
Wh-what happened?
336
00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:05,288
You happened!
337
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:07,457
You son of a swamp witch!
338
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:11,628
You showed your Comic Book Guy
a spoiler
339
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,797
of Airshot using his breath
to save himself.
340
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,050
The powers of evil
in our dimension
341
00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:21,137
saw this and, so warned,
taped Airshot's mouth shut.
342
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,472
And killed him.
343
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,891
(whimpers)
I didn't know!
344
00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:27,485
I never dreamed that spoilers
really hurt people.
345
00:16:27,562 --> 00:16:31,489
But they do.
Spoilers kill!
346
00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:34,776
I love you, Airshot! (sobbing)
347
00:16:34,852 --> 00:16:36,736
The virtual reality's working.
348
00:16:36,813 --> 00:16:39,948
The kid has no idea
that this has all been fake.
349
00:16:40,024 --> 00:16:41,783
I can't believe he didn't notice
350
00:16:41,859 --> 00:16:43,826
that the dimensional portal
in his backyard
351
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:47,163
was just a garbage bag
full of glow sticks.
352
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:49,007
Tell me we're doing
the right thing.
353
00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:51,167
Tell me this is
Bart's best chance
354
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,835
to choose to be a good person.
355
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,754
Don't worry, Marge.
356
00:16:54,831 --> 00:16:57,757
No one's ever been hurt
by a little gaslighting.
357
00:16:57,834 --> 00:17:00,176
Remember how
you always say that?
358
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,844
Remember?
359
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,096
Mm-hmm.
360
00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:04,856
Oh, don't think of it
as gaslighting.
361
00:17:04,933 --> 00:17:06,849
Think of it as
an ultra-enhanced,
362
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,476
immersive fan experience.
363
00:17:08,553 --> 00:17:11,980
All this, just to keep
spoilers from leaking.
364
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:15,200
Vindicators, colon,
Crystal War, colon, Resurgence
365
00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:16,526
bombing at the box office
366
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,778
would have devastating
consequences.
367
00:17:18,855 --> 00:17:21,864
Failing theme parks,
unsold Halloween costumes
368
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,032
rotting on the docks,
369
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,377
mass suicides
by popcorn farmers;
370
00:17:25,453 --> 00:17:28,380
anything worse than a 55% hold
371
00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:29,956
on its second weekend,
372
00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:33,293
the global economy
collapses like a house of cards.
373
00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,837
Is that what you want,
little girl? Is it?
374
00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:37,297
(quietly):
No. No.
375
00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:39,215
Bart clearly feels bad.
376
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,967
Can't we let him out now?
377
00:17:41,044 --> 00:17:43,970
No. We have to be
absolutely sure.
378
00:17:44,047 --> 00:17:46,731
Increasing simulation intensity.
379
00:17:50,478 --> 00:17:52,645
Bring me the boy.
380
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:53,822
(warriors snarling)
381
00:17:56,768 --> 00:17:57,817
Ahh!
382
00:17:57,894 --> 00:17:59,861
Remember, kid, no spoilers!
383
00:17:59,937 --> 00:18:01,696
Our universe depends on it!
384
00:18:01,773 --> 00:18:05,333
And don't pirate movies.
That hurts everyone.
385
00:18:08,071 --> 00:18:10,705
So, the boy who's seen
how all this ends.
386
00:18:10,782 --> 00:18:12,257
Tell me what you know,
387
00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:14,876
so I can use it
to destroy the Vindicators.
388
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:18,046
In return, I will grant
your deepest desire:
389
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:20,882
actual superpowers.
390
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:22,842
BART:
Muscles...
391
00:18:22,919 --> 00:18:24,218
claws...
392
00:18:24,295 --> 00:18:25,553
bike!
393
00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:27,013
Real powers.
394
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:29,607
That's even better
than spoiler powers.
395
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,443
(chuckling)
396
00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:34,395
Oh, no. Our son is going
to choose evil.
397
00:18:34,472 --> 00:18:38,783
Oh, no! Our son is so stupid
he's going to fall for this!
398
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,860
It doesn't matter
that's it not real.
399
00:18:40,937 --> 00:18:43,363
Bart's soul is at stake.
400
00:18:43,439 --> 00:18:47,575
Great emotion.
Talk about upping the ante.
401
00:18:47,652 --> 00:18:49,619
Tell me the spoilers, child.
402
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,297
And embrace your destiny
as a villain.
403
00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:53,581
Hmm.
404
00:18:53,658 --> 00:18:54,799
Airshot.
405
00:18:54,876 --> 00:18:56,709
All right.
406
00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:58,303
I'll tell you
what you have to do to win.
407
00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,629
-No!
-Uh-uh, kid.
408
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,806
Eat my shorts.
409
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,809
(grunts)
410
00:19:05,837 --> 00:19:07,145
No. No.
411
00:19:07,222 --> 00:19:09,189
-No...!
-(screams)
412
00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:19,607
Our son's a good guy!
A good guy.
413
00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:23,569
But he's still stupid.
So stupid...
414
00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:25,780
The kid turned down
actual superpowers.
415
00:19:25,857 --> 00:19:28,074
I think he'll
keep his mouth shut.
416
00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:30,118
Okay. We'll let him live.
417
00:19:30,194 --> 00:19:31,586
-(humming triumphantly)
-For now.
418
00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:35,673
(groans)
419
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:37,417
Uh-- I'm back.
420
00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,836
I just hope it's not too late.
421
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,513
What day is it?
422
00:19:41,589 --> 00:19:44,849
Why, it's the Wednesday
before Memorial Day, it is.
423
00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:45,967
Then there's still time.
424
00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:47,677
The movie hasn't been spoiled.
425
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,686
Don't worry, son.
426
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:51,356
Your secret I forgot
is safe with me.
427
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,517
I saved their universe.
I'm not a villain.
428
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:57,353
I'm a superhero.
429
00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:00,648
-When can we tell him?
-Never.
430
00:20:00,725 --> 00:20:02,033
All right.
No one's gonna talk.
431
00:20:02,110 --> 00:20:03,109
The movie's safe.
432
00:20:03,186 --> 00:20:06,696
We'll let them live.
For now.
433
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,706
(minor key "When You Wish
Upon a Star" plays)
434
00:20:24,299 --> 00:20:25,223
I'm not a bad guy.
I'm a good guy.
435
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:28,676
I'll never spoil anything again.
436
00:20:28,753 --> 00:20:31,396
I'm a changed boy.
A changed boy.
437
00:20:31,473 --> 00:20:34,015
I always knew you had
the stuff of heroes.
438
00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:36,067
Just tell me, does Moby Man
take his place
439
00:20:36,144 --> 00:20:39,479
as the rightful sovereign
of Fishtonia?
440
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:41,906
Does he? Bart!
Tell me!
441
00:20:41,983 --> 00:20:43,649
Stop your labors, good folk.
442
00:20:43,726 --> 00:20:47,862
Magnesium Man bless us,
every one.
443
00:20:47,939 --> 00:20:50,748
NARRATOR:
And Bart was as good
as his word.
444
00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:52,909
He kept his mouth shut.
445
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,920
So when everyone finally
saw the movie on opening day,
446
00:20:55,997 --> 00:20:58,331
they were filled with joy.
447
00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:00,833
Then immediately
got on their phones
448
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:03,928
and spoiled it
for everyone else.
449
00:21:44,078 --> 00:21:45,970
Shh!
35928
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
