All language subtitles for Up the Sandbox (1972) EN

WOMAN:
What are you doing?

Whatcha lookin' at?

Come here, come here.

Atta baby,
Atta little boy.

That's my little boy...

Look at that, angel,
isn't that sweet?

Look at that,
little sweet boy.

Where are you going?

Hey, can I touch your nose?

Yeah, come on.
Come on, sweetie.

Whoom! Peter! Peter!

Look at that face!
Look at that face!

[LAUGHS]

That's my boy,
that's my boy.

Yes, yes,
oh, you're yummy!

GIRL: Mommy!

I have to wash
your sister too.

Okay, my sweet boy.
Thatta boy...

It's nice to have
your back washed,

isn't it, darling?

My cute love...

[LAUGHS]

[DOOR BUZZER]

MAN: Margaret?

Ooh, Daddy's home,
sweetheart!

Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!

Good, good, good, good!
Atta girl!

Where you going?
Where you going? Huh?

DADDY: Lizzy?
Get the chain, honey.

You got it?

Yeah.

Hey, Daddy thanks you.

Got our birthday suit on,
don't we?

Come on, jump up here.

Daddy gotta shut
the door.

Mommy got me crayons,
and they're good to eat!

Mommy got you crayons
and they're good to eat--

I think Mommy meant that
crayons are not poisonous,

but crayons
are not good to eat.

Margaret! Honey!

MARGARET:
I'm in here!

Hi, love.

Hi, baby.

Getting worried
about you.

Me too Daddy,
me too!

I let three buses go by,

and then the one I got on
was still so damn crowded,

I got off and walked.

Hold still,
Let Daddy take his coat off.

Want to give
it to Daddy? No?

Nothing much.
You hungry?

Yeah, I am.

Don't! I'm cold!
I'm cold!

What do you mean
you're cold?

Put me back
into the tub!

I'll put you
back into the tub, all right.

LIZZY: ♪ I went up to the river
to see such a sight ♪

MARGARET: Um...

♪ And I looked up in the sky
and I saw a pretty light ♪

♪ I looked into the light,
and that light was the sun ♪

♪ But I looked into the sun
and I started to run ♪

[MARGARET AND LIZZY LAUGH]

Oh, you hurt my ear.

What are you doing
to your mother?

What are you doing
to your mother?

♪ Down to the seashore,
by the jungle gym ♪

♪ I met a mermaid
who taught me how to swim ♪

♪ Then a little bird came
and taught me how to fly ♪

♪ And now I can
swim in the sky ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[MARGARET HUMMING]

Hold my legs.

Okay.

Thank you.

Like that?
Or like that?

Ha ha! Cut it out.

Or like that?

I'm tellin' ya...

Don't come near me.

I dare ya. I dare ya.

See this line?

Don't cross it.

Bad.

Ohh...

Well...

You just crossed
the line.

That's right.

Don't touch me.

Don't.

Ya touched me.

Whoo! Oh!

I didn't mean it!
I didn't mean it!

The kids! The kids!

[CLATTER]

Oh, honey! Ow! My toe!

Quiet, you ruffian!

Stop it!

Don't you know
your children are sleeping?

My leg!

Shh! Okay, just--

Ooh!

No fair! No fair!
You son of a bitch!

Whoa!

Look, you could have had
the decency

to call me a little earlier.

Then I could have
done something about it.

Awright, awright,
never mind.

[HANGS UP]

That woman is
absolutely untrustworthy.

Paul, you think you could

stay with the kids
for a couple of hours?

I got a student
conference meeting

in 20 minutes,
I'm already late.

I'll have to wait another
whole month for my checkup.

Uh, hey, look--

If something's really wrong,
I'll try to work it out.

Uh...

No...
you better go ahead.

Okay.

What about Eleanor?

Hi!

LIZZY: Robbie!

Robbie!

What do you want?

Can I play in your room?

All right, but don't
touch the models.

I can make it in two hours,
I'll be back by 12:00.

It'll be the last time,
Eleanor, I promise.

No, it won't.
What about Paul?

What about Paul?

Margaret, he supports
three people,

I support three people.

Did you ever ask yourself

why you consider his time
so much more important?

[SIGHS]

You can leave Robbie
with me this afternoon

if you'd like.

You're hopeless.
Try to be back by 1:00, okay?

Okay.

Hey, sweetheart,
be good, okay?

Okay.

I appreciate it,
Eleanor.

Can I bring you anything?

No. Go. Go ahead,
you'll be late.

When did it start?

MARGARET:
A couple of weeks, I guess.

All right. Sit up,
please, Margaret.

Let's have a deep breath.

Again.

Again.

Oh, I read
your husband's article

in the Columbia Forum.

You must be
proud of him.

Yes, I am.

Drop the gown, please.

I liked his point about

oppressed people
accepting their slavery,

and then,
when things improve,

when they have
rising expectations,

then they revolt.

It's part
of his new book.

Lie down, please.

Your hands are cold.

Hmm. Your husband's
a lucky man.

He's involved
with important ideas.

And here I am looking after
a handful of women

on the Upper West Side.

Maybe you should
change your work.

Go someplace else
where you feel more needed.

Think so?

Sit up, please.

Anything I can
take for it?

Yes, there is--

a pregnancy test.

Oh?

Yes, I'm quite sure you're
pregnant again, little lady.

I wish you and your brilliant
husband the best of luck.

[BELL TOLLING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MAN AND WOMAN
LAUGHING]

PAUL: I'll do it,
I'll do it.

[WOMAN GIGGLING]

We'll finish this
later. Let's eat.

Damn, I forgot
the mustard.

Hi, honey.

What a surprise.

Hey, is something wrong?

I thought I'd stop by
and take you to lunch.

We already ate.
Brought in some sandwiches.

Dr. Bolden,
my wife, Margaret.

Nice to meet you.

We're just going through
this curriculum garbage.

Why don't we
have some coffee?

What time
does that meeting start?

12:30.

Well, I tried.
I'll see you at home.

[BELL RINGS]

Hey, did you get
to the doctor on time?

Yeah.

Everything all right?

Fine.

Dr. Bolden?

Um...

could I speak with you
for just a minute, please?

Of course,
Mrs. Reynolds.

Um...

Are you having an affair
with my husband?

Well, as a matter
of fact, I am.

You are?

Yes, of course.

A closer relationship
is very helpful in our work.

It's a wonderful way to get rid
of superficial inhibitions

that exist between colleagues.

Don't you agree?

[SIGHS]

Uh, it--it does sound--
it sounds reasonable.

Where do you do it?

Do you do it in your, uh,
your apartment?

No, no, there's
a very comfortable army cot

in the book closet.

You realize that
he's my husband

and that he's
the father of my children,

and he's all we have.

Oh, Mrs. Reynolds,
you needn't worry about Paul.

He loves you very much.
He told me.

He told you that?

Yes, he did.
He worships you.

Do you mean that?

Yeah.

[RELIEVED SIGH]

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

It's okay,
it's okay.

Bye.

Hi, ladies! Ladies!

Hi, Jo!
How ya feelin'?

Fine, thank you.
How are you?

Hey, listen--
did you see this?

Yes, congratulations.

Wow, what is it?

It's Arnie.

I thought I showed you.

Oh, my God, Arnold!

Call him Arnie.

Fantastic picture.

He won that case
he was working on?

Yes.

Congratulations.

Yeah, people been
calling me up all morning.

What for?

Here we go.

Kathy, it's really
quite thrilling

when something like this
finally happens to you.

I know, but it isn't
your picture.

Oh, come on, Kath.

It's not every day
you win a case

against a giant
corporation.

It's terrific
what he did.

What Kathy means is,
what do you do?

What do you mean,
what do I do?

Supposing you get
your picture in the Times,

would Arnie run around
showing everybody?

Fat chance.

Absolutely,
yes, I do.

As long as you go home
and do the dishes.

Lemme tell you something,
Connie--

Arnie does
the dishes plenty.

And you say
"thank you" plenty.

The important thing is
to stand up for somebody.

I am not putting down
the man's accomplishment,

it's just that, for her,
it doesn't work both ways.

My title was
administrative assistant.

That means "go-fer."

What's that?

A go-fer is a person,

when they were sending out
for coffee and sandwiches,

that was me.

Besides that, I couldn't
make enough money

to pay for the cab fare
and full-time babysitting,

so I said,
"What the hell?"

I quit the job
and fired the babysitter.

She was messin' up the kids
with her problems, right?

Which I found out too late.

Do you know there's
somebody staring at us?

He's not looking at us.

As I was saying,
I was reading this study,

and it said that
the best mothers

are those that maintain
their own identities,

and it's not necessary
to have your own career.

Oh, Joanne, I've read
all the child psych books.

To be a good mother,
you gotta learn to eat shit.

[DISHES BREAK]

[BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH]

Hey, he's comin'
over here.

Margaret,
what's the matter?

You look
a little green.

I feel a little sick.

I think they put glue
in these pies.

Please excuse me
for intruding,

but you're Margaret Kerner,
aren't you?

Mm-hmm. That was
my maiden name.

Well, I'm Dr. Loffert.
Don't you remember me?

You were my professor
in Latin American Studies?

Exactly.

Your friend wrote quite
an original paper for me once

on the changing role
of the United States

in Latin American
economies.

Did I write on that?

I can't believe
you remember.

Remember?
I was very impressed.

I often thought of you.

You look splendid.

Thank you.

Could I talk to you
alone for a moment?

Could be rather important.

All right.

Kath? That's a good-looking
father image.

Mommy!

Just a minute,
darling.

Would you really
like to come?

I'd like to very much.

Mommy!

Good.

Until tonight.

Hmm...

I have my suspicions
about Margaret.

Yeah, you think so?

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

POLICE OFFICER OVER P.A.:
You must clear the area!

Everyone clear the area!
Go home! Everyone go home!

[SIRENS WAILING]

I'm with Dr. Loffert.

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

What?

Dr. Loffert.

Reynolds?

Yeah.

The Gold Room.
Right upstairs.

[APPLAUSE]

MALE SPEAKER: Over 40%
of American women work.

And less than 10%
of that group--10%--

are professionals.

75%...

75%... do menial work.

How can children have dignity

when their mothers
are stripped of it?

You're late.

I'm sorry,
the baby threw up.

Shh!

Women should have
equal education,

equal opportunities,
equal pay,

and equal power.

And so...

With our new
community nursery programs,

a new mother can be
back at her job within days--

a job that gives her
full dignity and freedom.

Children will
no longer be smothered

by mothers
who resent being trapped

in a vicious cycle
of social suicide.

My children
aren't being smothered.

Mothers should be functional
in the adult community,

and have time
at the end of the day

to give attention
to the children...

freely and without regret.

All women need
to lift themselves out

of the pit of ignorance

in which men
have buried them for centuries.

I intend that my country
will become

the inspiration
for all the world

to halt the incredible waste

of half the human resources
of this planet--

its women!

MARGARET: Excuse me!

What are you doing?

I just had a question.

Your middle class women
live like slaves.

You are totally dependent
on the whims of your husbands.

You are treated like inferiors.

In order to change your status,
you need power.

And in order
to get that power,

you must have female leaders--

especially female
military leaders!

The last thing
this world needs

are female
military leaders.

You're embarrassing me.

You see here
a women so oppressed,

she's afraid to take power,
afraid to change!

We don't want
your kind of power!

Why should we join men
in their barbaric,

their insane
competitive struggles?

They've already
brought themselves

and this planet
to the edge of extinction!

[YELLING]

[CROWD BOOING]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

SPEAKER: Let her speak!

Let her speak!

This is a free country.

Thank you.

Uh...

Sir, uh...

Our world is fragile,
as you know.

It is in great danger.

It needs every drop
of love and care,

or else it will die.

Where are we going
to find this loving care?

In the military academies?
In the councils of state?

No, in its women.

And if we must use power,

let us speak
about the power of mothers

who can instill in their sons
a true masculinity

and thereby create
a new breed of men

who will not have to run around
with toy weapons and uniforms

to show their manhood.

Men who will use their muscle
to build and preserve,

rather than destroy,

men who will not be afraid

to stand up for love
instead of hate.

No, we do not have
to become more like you, sir,

we only have to become
more like ourselves.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

[YELLING IN SPANISH]

You have insulted
our commandante!

You are a capitalistic tool,

and I will demand an apology
from your government!

REPORTER: Do you speak
for some organization?

Are you married?
Do you have any children?

Who do you work for?

Can we get an interview?

Please, this way.

You will come with us.

Why?

The commandante
wants to see you.

I have to get home--

You must come.

Can I bring my friend?

No, no, no.
You alone.

Take notes!

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

We will wait here.

What are these?

Crestanium berricotula.

How you say... cuckarachas.

Cockroaches?

Yes.

I'm an entomologist,
and whenever I visit New York

I bring samples
to a friend of mine

at the Museum
of Natural History.

Interesting.

Yes, very.

My especialidad is the sex life
of the praying mantis.

These are some fine specimens.

As I am sure you know,

the female mantis
betrays the male

during sexual intercourse--
she bites his head off.

Horrible.

Perhaps.

But I have proven beyond
a doubt that decapitation

is the only way a male
manages to reach a climax.

MAN: Leave us.

There is no reason
for me to leave.

[BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH]

[DOOR SLAMS]

She's a fascinating woman.

Before the revolution,
she was a whore.

Ah...would you like
for some wine?

Yes, thank you.

What is your name?

Uh, Mrs. Paul Reynolds.

I have a feeling
you may be the one

I have been looking for,
Mrs. Reynolds.

I'm afraid
I don't understand.

Mrs. Reynolds,
what's your first name?

Margaret.

Oh, Margarita...

Margarita...

Margarita, I am in possession
of a secret,

an earth-shaking revelation

that could change
the world as we know it.

A secret that,
when made public,

will free all women
from the shackles

that have kept them
as second-class citizens.

Are you that woman,
Margarita?

Are you the woman who
will help me tell my secret?

I'd like to be.

Good.

I trust you.

And now...
you must trust me.

Come.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Wait!

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

No hablo español.

I wish I could
comprende.

You dance very well.

Oh, thank you,
thank you.

Oh, getting fancy, huh?

Perhaps you have already
guessed my secret, Margarita.

No...what is it?

Don't you sense
anything strange about me?

Anything? Hmm?

I don't think so.

Look closely. Very closely.

Anything about my face?
My beard?

Your beard?

Yes.

Well, maybe
there is something.

Right there below
your lower left lip there.

What do you see?

Looks like
hollandaise sauce.

That's not what I mean.

Now can you guess?

Oh, the beard's a phony,
that's your secret!

What are you wearing
a phony beard for?

That's only part
of the secret.

Does this give you
more of a hint?

[IN FEMININE VOICE]
See?

Oh, my God!

Margarita,
say my secret!

You're a fag!

No!

Don't be frightened,
Margarita.

I will give you
another hint.

Two hints,
as a matter of fact.

Do you know
what they are, Margarita?

They ain't pineapples!

Margarita!
Please, Margarita!

For the sake
of women everywhere,

you must write the story!

I only minored
in journalism!

When the world
discovers my secret,

women will not be afraid

to assume
their rightful position!

I want you to tell the world
I am a woman!

You're not a woman,
you're a dyke!

Margarita, Margarita,
love me.

Rejoice with me that at last

we have a true
female military leader.

Paul?

Paul?

Hmm?

When I was pregnant
with Peter...

Did you want
other women?

I had other women.

How many?

Two a day. Sometimes three.

Oh! Ow!

[DOOR BUZZER]

WOMAN: Margaret!
Margaret, dear!

Oh, no.
Why didn't you call?

Margaret, dear,
open the door.

I've told you
16 million times

not to come here
without calling first.

Stop being silly!

You have no respect
for my privacy, Mother.

I'm not a child anymore--
the umbilical cord has been cut!

Don't forget you're
talking to your mother!

How can I forget?
Stop that!

If you don't get out of here
I'm gonna call the police!

That is no way
to talk to a mother!

Mothers have no
special privileges around here!

Oh, no...

Margaret.
Margaret, dear.

Hi, Mother.
Why didn't you call?

"Why didn't I call,"
she says.

Hello, sweetie,
how have you been?

LIZZY:
Hello, Grandma.

Oh, hello, love!
How's my little peachie-pie?

Give Grandma
a great big kiss!

If you've been
a good girl,

I've got a present
for you.

Maria, start with the disaster
in the living room.

Where's my baby?
Where is my baby?

Oh, there he is!

Look at this mess!

I don't even want to put
my gloves down anywhere.

Move to New Jersey!

The air is cleaner,

and nobody writes "Lesbians
Unite" in the elevator.

I brought you some stuff.

You shouldn't have to go
on the street and be molested.

The neighborhood
isn't that bad.

"Not that bad."

Maria, from the cab
to the lobby,

how many times
were we nearly raped?

You should be
so lucky, Mom.

Never mind,
don't be nasty.

What do you do
all day?

You don't cook,
you don't clean.

Where's your
soup stock?

Where's your
fresh vegetables?

No wonder you're always sick
in this house.

No one's sick
in this house.

Well, you should be.

I read in the paper
yesterday,

a block from here,
a rat bit a baby!

I hate to disappoint you,
but we're well.

What do you
want from me, huh?

Darling, I want you
to move out of this dump.

This is not a dump.

I tell my friends
where you live,

they want to know
how I ended up

with underprivileged
grandchildren.

Don't let Liz take
any candy from strangers,

and don't let her
talk to anyone!

Which one do I press?

"Up."

We're going
to the roof?

No, "street."

Magic!

Hi.

Hello.

Right.

Good. Big girl!

Hi.

Tell your kid to keep
her hands off me.

Stay close to Mommy,
Darling.

Good morning,
Mrs. Reynolds.

They're having a special
on cantaloupes at A & P.

They're very nice.

Thank you.

WOMAN: Lemme go!

[EVERYONE YELLING]

MAN: You're a goddamn whore,
that's what you are!

WOMAN: Lemme go,
you son of a bitch!

[SIREN WAILS]

Hey, monkey!

Hey, stop hitting
each other,

or I'm gonna come over there
and slug you!

Hello.

How's your baby?

Asleep.

LIZ: Mommy!

Mommy! Mommy!

Would you keep an eye
on Peter for me?

Sure.

Mommy!

Okay, hold on,
sweetheart.

Okay, I'm gonna
get your feet.

They're waiting
for you.

Yeah.

When the ice cream man comes,
would you get them some?

I've got it.
You'd better go.

Peter's diapers are
over there at the sandbox.

See you later,
darling.

Bye.

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Whoa! Whoa!
Can't dock here!

What do you
think you're doing?

We're runnin' out of gas.
It'll only a minute.

There's no gas here.

Can't we use your telephone
to call the Coast Guard?

I'll radio 'em,
all right.

What the hell
kind of people

run out of gas
in New York Harbor?

You're gonna
be fined, y'know.

[GLASS BREAKS]

[HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD]

[GUNSHOTS]

Police.

Take that.

Okay...

One, two...

light.

Come on,
let's go!

[FOOTSTEPS]

Hey, there's
somebody up there!

Hey, you!

MAN:
Come on! Let's go!

Oh, Christ!

Margaret, come on!

Hey, mister!
You gotta come down!

Margaret,
come back here!

Come on!
We're leaving!

Can't murder him!

MAN:
The hell with her!

Run! Get to the boat!
Let's go!

Hey! Wait!

I'm going to jump,
you hear?

And nobody's
going to stop me!

I'm going to jump!
I'm going to jump!

No!

Aaah!

Paul, forgive me!
Forgive me, Paul!

[MARGARET SCREAMS]

Paul!

Need any help?

Hmm?

Need any help tonight?

No, no.
Just stay in bed.

Ohh...

for cryin' out loud.

Jeez--

Oh, no...

shit!

What's the matter?

She's ruined
all of them!

Look at this!

You and your damn crayons!

Oh, I'm sorry,
I told her not to--

I've told you
a dozen times

not to let her play
in here.

I'll type the pages
over for you.

Those lousy pages,
they took months.

She probably thought
you'd like it.

Oh, great, I don't
want to frustrate her!

Give her some paints
and let her paint the walls--

I'd like that too!

I'm gonna move
into the basement,

and you guys can have
the whole damn apartment!

I'm sorry you're having
problems with the book.

The hell with the book!

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Oh, Elizabeth.

[SIGHS]

Ohh...

Ohh...

Oh!

Get over there.
Get over.

Aaah!

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

[HORN HONKS]

Hi!

Hello!

Oh!

Oh, here's the baby boy!

Have you been a good girl, Liz?
I got a present for you!

Mother, I told you
not to give her

this kind of stuff.

It's just rhinestones.

It's good for her,
it'll make her feel feminine.

I hope you're all hungry,
I got a great meal.

[WOMAN SINGING
BEAUTIFUL DREAMER OFF-KEY]

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hello!

MAN: Sing for me!

♪ Beautiful dreamer-- ♪

Not on the head,
David.

David, please!

♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪

♪ Dah dee dee dah dah ♪

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[EVERYONE LAUGHS]

Hi, Marvin!

It's very exclusive
for the price.

Plenty of nice children all
up and down the street.

And you and Paul can do

some of the painting
on the weekends.

You'll save a little,
and you'll be doing together.

And you can go into the city
whenever you like

for dinner or for a movie.

I'll always be
with the children.

And after a while,

you'll find that you won't
want to go in so often.

And we want to give you
the down payment.

We want you to enjoy it
while we're still alive.

Only please--
just don't tell your sister.

You listen to her,
Maggie.

Your monthly payments

won't be any more than
you pay now for rent.

For a slum.

It's not a slum.

MARVIN:
Awright, everybody, showtime!

Wait a minute,
you're wasting your film on me,

I haven't
fixed my hair yet.

You look great!

That was right
in my eyes, dear.

Darling,
she wants the house.

You think so?

I know my daughter.

She's just a little stubborn
if I suggest anything.

But she's dying for some space
and some help with the kids.

You know you can't
pitch in much.

I'm not criticizing,
dear,

I wouldn't want my daughter
married to a kitchen fairy.

She's afraid you won't like
to commute back and forth.

Now, now, I can put up
with the travel

if that's what
she really wants.

It is, it is,

but she's denying it
to protect you,

she's so unselfish.

Oh, Paul, help her to have
what she really wants.

Mom, is this
enough salad?

Mm, I suppose so...
if you're tired.

Enjoying yourself?

She's, uh, she's putting
on the pressure.

Wait till she gets goin'.

One, two, three--

♪ Happy 33rd anniversary ♪

EVERYONE:
♪ Happy 33rd anniversary ♪

♪ Happy 33rd anniversary ♪

♪ We wish you many more ♪

♪ We love you Mom and Pop ♪

♪ We love you Mom and Pop ♪

♪ Happy 33rd anniversary ♪

♪ We wish you many more ♪

Oh, isn't that
beautiful!

Where did you hide it?

Daddy, they hid it
right in my own house!

Bless you both, you really
deserve each other!

ALL: Speech!

Daddy and I
are so surprised!

We're so surprised!

Uh...

say "thank you,"
Daddy.

Oh, uh, thank you.

MARVIN: Daddy, once more,
I don't think I got it.

Thank you!

I want to tell you,
Daddy, ah...

living 33 years
with the man I love

has been wonderful--
wonderful.

And all we wish for
is 33 more.

All right,
now blow out the candles!

Make a wish!
Make a wish!

One, two...

Uh, Mom...

this is from all of us.

I'm so excited!

Rome!

How did you know?

Rome, Italy!
Oh, look, Daddy!

I told 'em
I wanted to go to Miami.

I know this is what
you really wanted.

No, I really
wanted to go to Miami.

WOMAN:
Speech! Speech!

Daddy and I--

Daddy and I--okay?

Daddy and I
wish to accept

this wonderful
adventure in Italy

as an expression
of your devotion.

I've done the best
I know how with you kids...

the best I know how.

There isn't another thing
I could ask for--

not another thing!

Except--except--

Except for Margaret and Paul
to move out here.

Then our whole family
would be together again.

Margaret, Margaret--
just say yes

and make our happiness
complete.

Margaret?

No.

Should I cut the cake,
dear?

Oh, children, you go
in the other room and play.

We'll bring
your cake in later.

Marvin, turn off that thing.
We've had enough.

Sometimes, dear,

we have to make
little sacrifices

for our husband
and our children.

I'm sure Paul would like
a bigger family.

I don't know.

Too many people
in the world already.

What a thing to say.
You don't mean that.

There's plenty of room
around here

for the right kind
of people.

I'm not having
any more children,

I've decided
to go back to school.

I simply refuse to let you
go on raising your children

in that disgusting city.

Surrounded by underprivileged,
Spanish-speaking persons

and colored people.

Don't you ever shut up?

I don't come here
and tell you how to live!

But you come barging in on me
any time you feel like it!

Can you imagine if we
lived in the same state?

You wouldn't let up
till you turned my kids

into narrow-minded,
prejudiced, overweight,

split-level schnooks!

That's the way you are!

It never occurs to you
to think about

what your children
or your husband

or your parents might like!

No, you're selfish--
that's what you are!

I don't want
to live near you!

If this is what it's like
to be a mother,

I turn in my ovaries!

It's too late now, dear.

What do you mean
by that?

You already have two little
investments in the future.

And listen, everybody,
hold on to your hats--

No, Ma, no--

She's already
got a little bun in the oven!

She's gonna have three,
just like me!

Don't listen to her--
she's absolutely crazy!

[EVERYONE YELLING
INDISTINCTLY]

DAD: What happened?
We were all having so much fun!

Please, say
something to me!

MARVIN: Mommy,
I can't see your face.

Come on, Mommy!
Come on, Mommy!

Get her, Mommy!

Get away! That's it!

You're not fighting back!

Now you're fighting back!

I still don't understand

why you don't
move to New Jersey.

Can we discuss it
some other time?

All right, dear.

You're gonna walk very funny
with an Instamatic up your ass.

Mommy! Mommy!

[DOOR BUZZER]

Miss Spittlemeister.

Would you mind
calling me Bernice?

Okay, Bernice.
Come this way.

I'll show you
the children's room.

Elizabeth is my daughter,

and she sleeps on the bed
on the right over there,

and she does wake up
if the TV is too loud.

My friend's coming over
to do organic with me--

organic chemistry.

PAUL: Margaret.

Peter, my son--
if he does wake up,

talk to him softly
for a few minutes

and he should
go back to sleep.

His bottle's in
the refrigerator.

There's half a bucket
of chicken in there

if you'd like some.

The number is next
to the phone,

don't hesitate to call
if there's any problem.

Let's go.
Get your coat.

My coat. Okay.

Don't forget to
lock all the locks.

Okay.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Would you leave a chicken leg
for my husband's breakfast?

[BLOWING HORN]

And remarkably,
a percussion instrument too.

[BONGO-TYPE SOUND]

But this remains
the basic percussion instrument.

[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Margaret!

Hi, how are you?

How are the kids?

Marvelous.
How's Fred?

He's stuffin' it down
as fast as I can cook it!

Oh, are you on
the More Sandboxes Committee?

I think I'm gonna
have another drink.

Somebody did call me

and told me
to send a telegram

to the Park Commissioner.

Right on! If more of us did,
he'd have to get off his butt.

Hello, Rose!

Ray! Oh!

You know Margaret--
Paul Reynolds' wife.

Of course I do!

How are you, Mrs. Reynolds?
Enjoying the party?

Yes, thank you,
Dr. Keglin.

Ray, you've already
done wonders with this place.

Most of my good pieces
are still in storage.

Have you met
the guest of honor?

Not yet,
but I like his style.

[BLOWING WEAKLY]

I've heard 25 kakakis
playing in unison--

Shattering...shattering.

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

How can you say that,
Dr. Reynolds?

It's a hazard
of righteousness.

It's pistachio
cheddar.

This is Vicky.
This is my wife.

Margaret.

I've been boring Vicky with my
pessimistic views on revolution.

She's all in favor
of violent activism

as long as no one gets hurt.
Would you like this?

That's not what I meant.

Is your field the same
as your husband's?

No.

What field
are you in?

Domestic arts.

Oh.

Uh, do you help your husband
with his manuscripts,

typing and so forth?

I've been told I add
a touch of color.

I talk over a lot
of my ideas with Margaret.

I don't agree
with them all.

Oh, but he's
so provocative.

He tries to trap me
with definitions.

Dr. Reynolds,

how do you tell righteousness
from true idealism?

See you later.

Okay, honey. Let's start
with an investigation

of the premise
that there is a difference.

Of course, both result
in catastrophe.

[LAUGHS]

I love the way
you put things!

GUEST OF HONOR:
Some said it was myth,

that there was no proof
of their existence,

but he continued
to seek this tribe

where the women
were hunter-warriors

and the men
took care of the children.

Finally,
after incredible hardships,

he found the Ulgulas.

But he was hacked to death
and dismembered

when he tried to discover

their secret of
painless childbirth.

This kakaki here
is used by the Ulgulas

during their
Dance of Birth ceremony.

WOMAN: Did he say
it's called a "kakaki"?

Ohhhh!

Ohhh!

Ohh...ohh...

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Oh! Oh...

Name one single
revolutionary victory

that hasn't resulted in

a new tyranny
replacing the old.

After a period
of power struggle,

Thermidorian reaction.

It's not
the 18th century,

and Platonic theory
won't apply.

Having a good time,
darling?

Hi, honey.

Hey, what did you
do to your hair?

Combed it.

I just want to finish
this one thought.

It's easy to say
that you can't make an omelet

without breaking eggs,
but eggs aren't people.

You'd look at it differently

if you were the one getting
hanged, shot, whatever.

The problem
is individualism?

When you're hanging
by your thumbs,

helping to make a revolution
isn't too comforting.

Paul, I feel peculiar.
I'd like to go home.

Individualism
is obsolete.

In a few minutes,
darling.

There is
an expediency today

which makes individualism
sentimental.

Are you accusing me
of sentimentality?

I am not easily bored,

what I'm talking about
is plain human feelings.

I'm sorry,
I can't follow you.

Don't touch me!

Will you tell me what it is
you're trying to tell me?

Don't tell me
you're jealous!

No, I love spending three hours
watching liverwurst turn brown.

We can't always be
Twiddlydum and Twiddlydee.

I guess I don't
mix well anymore.

Somewhere between
Pablum and strained carrots

I seem to have
lost my pizazz.

It isn't you to be jealous.

I'm not jealous,
I am disgusted.

How can an intelligent man
like you be hypnotized

by a pair of boobs?

Aw, come on!

Miss Boobs has a very clear idea
what she's doing.

She's working in biochemistry,
intends to get her Ph.D.,

intends to have one child,

check off the woman thing,
and back to work.

I'd hate to be
that woman's kid.

Come on,
you're being unfair.

Miss Boobs happens to be
a very interesting woman.

Know what your idea
of an interesting woman is?

Anybody who listens to you
for more than 10 minutes.

I don't have time
to be an interesting woman.

I get one hour off
to go see a doctor

who tells me how wonderful
your work is

while he has his hand
on my tit,

and he gets paid for that
because that's his work.

You're all wonderful,
great professionals,

but a woman like me works
twice as hard, and for what?

Stretch marks
and varicose veins.

You've got one job,
I've got 97.

Maybe I should be
on the cover of Time--

"Dust mop of the Year,"
"Queen of the Laundry Room"!

I can't do it.

I can't be a perfect image
of a female.

What are you
talking about?

My tits aren't as big
as what's-her-name,

I'm not as accomplished
as your colleague Dr. Bolden,

I'm not even as good a
housekeeper as my own mother!

I'm nothing!
I thought love was enough!

Maybe you'd be happier
if you did more.

More? I cook, I sew,
I squeegee,

I spend hours waiting
in line for baby sandals!

I have one kid
who likes Sicilian pizza,

a husband who likes
Neapolitan pizza,

one who like omelets,
one who won't touch eggs!

One who hates raisins,
one who's afraid of the wind!

I'm an errand boy, cook,
dish washer, cockroach catcher,

and you say I'd be happy
if I did more!

What's the matter?

Miss Spittlemeister
is finishing her organic.

Dr. Beineke?

Dr. Beineke, you are sure
that this is the right place?

Oh, yes, they'll be here
any minute with our gear.

We're right here, you see,

and the Nabunu and the porters
should be coming in from...

from, uh, this direction...

right, uh, here.

There, right there.

From there.

No use waiting around.

We'll head due, uh...west,
and, uh, intercept them.

Do you get the feeling
we're being watched?

Nonsense, Margaret.

You're as safe here
as you would be

on the streets
of New York City.

There are no unfriendly natives
within 200 miles of here.

[ANIMALS GROWLING]

Now, as soon as
we intercept the porters--

I think I hear animals!

Remember, you must show no fear
at whatever happens.

The women are the warriors.

They value courage,

and they'll
be watching you closely.

Dr. Beineke,

you have been here before?

No, never--but I
studied all the maps.

I know this country
like the back of my hand.

We're right on course
to meet the porters.

Ah, accequentum--
very rare.

A-ha! Accequentum. A-ha.

Margaret, listen!

What?

That sound.

[HORN BLOWS]

Margaret, listen!
Shh! Margaret!

[WOMAN SHOUTING
IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]

[CHANTING]

[CHANTING STOPS]

[SPEAKING
NATIVE LANGUAGE]

That's my pocketbook!

I think
we're in trouble.

[HORN BLOWS]

[SPEAKING
NATIVE LANGUAGE]

[HALTINGLY]
You--speak--English.

Thank God--civilization.

Uh, most gracious lady,
we are delighted

to be in your
magnificent land,

and to gather information

about your cherished secret
of painless childbirth.

[WHISPERING]

Childbirth sacred!

Well...well, yes. Sacred.

It's sacred to us too.

[SHOUTS IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE]

[SHOUTING IN
NATIVE LANGUAGE]

[CHANTING]

Ohh! Aah!

What are they
gonna do to us?

Some sort of primitive ritual,
no doubt.

[NATIVES SINGING]

[GASPS]

Uhhh--

Oh, my head.

That's what you get
for going to pot parties

and coming home and opening up
a Chinese laundry.

It's a wonder you weren't
bludgeoned in the basement.

Why didn't you let Paul
call the doctor?

I don't need a doctor.

Breakfast for the invalid.
Perked coffee included.

Oh, I forgot your marmalade.

What happened last night?

He's really upset.

Why did you
fight with him?

Remember, marriage
is a 75-25 proposition--

the woman gives 75.

He fixed you
a gorgeous breakfast--

the toast is charcoal,
the coffee's like tar,

and you've got a rubber tire
for an omelet.

But it's delicious,
my darling. You understand?

One marmalade.

You know that man
feels terrible?

He didn't sleep a wink all night
over your belly-aching.

I didn't belly-ache.

She didn't belly-ache.

She passed out,
it's the same thing.

I'm gonna take a walk--
it's a beautiful morning.

Shouldn't be too many snipers
on the roof.

How's the coffee?

It's very...very good.

Very tasty.

How about the eggs?

They're delicious.

They're very, um...
interesting.

You're a liar.

Are you sticking around
just to insult me?

Margaret...

Can we be open
with each other?

Truthful?

Truthful, huh?

That's funny--

my mother just gave me
the opposite advice.

She told me I should

tell you a lot of lies
about the breakfast.

Something about saving
our marriage, I think.

Do you think our marriage
needs saving?

Wonderful toast.

I, uh,
tried to scrape it.

Hey, come on...

Paul...

Aren't you ever sorry
you got married so young?

Don't you ever
feel trapped?

Held back?
Suffocated?

That sort of thing?

You can tell me
the truth.

[SIGHS]

Is it cold out?

I forgot to make your
French toast this morning--

the one thing
you like on Sundays.

You think what I want
from you is French toast?

You think
that little of me, huh?

Listen to me--
I want to help you.

If the life you're living
in the city is getting you down,

I'll get a job somewhere else.
I don't care.

My book will be finished soon,
we'll do whatever you want.

And the kids will be
old enough soon,

you'll be through
with that nursery stuff,

you can get a fresh start.

Hold it.

Before you go any further...

there's something
you ought to know.

What?

I want another child.

And more children
after that.

Three or four, at least.

Maybe five more.

Oh, Paul...

I can just imagine you

at the head of a great,
long dining room table,

with children
on both sides of it

eating and laughing,
having fun,

and they'll bring
their friends home

and sometimes we'll have
17 for dinner.

On holidays,
maybe even 21.

Can you imagine that?
21 children!

Filling our whole life
with warmth, with joy,

with noise, with laughter.

In the summertime, we'll all
go to the country together,

we'll know the names
of all the wildflowers.

And you'll go fishing,

I'll work in the garden,

the children will
take care of the animals--

horses and lambs
and pigs and rabbits.

And in the evenings,
we'll have music.

We'll all play
different instruments--

I'll take up the piano again,
we'll sing--

Oh, Paul, we'll have
such fulfillment!

Like hell we will.
You and I are through.

You're useless.

You're ruining me, and now
you want to fill the world

with more mouths to feed.

Isn't there enough
misery and starvation

and overcrowding
in this world?

Two children per couple,
that's it! Maximum!

After that,
compulsory abortion!

And then out to work!

And why aren't you out
earning some money, huh?

So I can sit home
and finish my book!

At least that would
add something to the world!

Some truth! Some culture!
Instead of more bodies!

I know what you've got
hidden in here.

Thought you could
hide it from me, didn't you?

You, a writer, huh?

The "Great American Novel"
hidden in your dirty laundry!

You can't concentrate,

you can't put
two thoughts together!

Drivel! Drivel!

Feminine drivel!

It's not even good enough
for a woman's magazine!

Go ahead!

I dare you!

You're no good--
who needs ya?

Aaaaaah!

[MARGARET'S SCREAM
BECOMES SIREN WAILING]

Look, honey, I...

I want you to be happy,
I want you to be fulfilled.

Do you understand,
I want you to be--

I want to help you.

Who are you
to help me?

You can't even take care
of your own shirts.

And whose fault
is that?

You take care of me
as if I were a child,

and then you're surprised
when I act like one.

You really want to help?

Then I'd like the day off.

Fine.

Starting right now.

What about the kids?

Yeah...

Okay.

Sure.

I love you.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

[LIZZY WHINING]
Daddy! Daddy, I'm hungry!

PAUL: Okay, okay.

I want some cake.

No, you can't have
any cake.

How would you like
some cereal?

We're gonna have cereal,
milk and scrambled eggs.

Daddy's gonna fix
some scrambled eggs.

Daddy, I want
chocolate cake!

Daddy!

That's all I want
for breakfast!

PAUL: We don't have
chocolate cake for breakfast.

Daddy, I'm hungry!

Okay, okay...

WOMAN: Take the yellow slip
to Room 483 for the exam,

tell them I'll send the rest
of the information up later.

Fill out 138-A,
have your doctor sign,

and then before you
fill out 139 and 140,

you must fill out
Questions 137-A, -B, and -C.

Yes, can I help you?

Margaret Reynolds.

I had an appointment
for yesterday.

Yes, what
happened to you?

Did you say--

Just a moment.

Take the yellow slip
to Room 483 for the exam--

One minute--
483 for the exam,

tell them I'll send the rest
of the information up later.

You'll have to use
your own pen.

Yes, now, what is it?

Now, I do fill out
139 and 140, or I don't?

You cannot fill out
139 and 140

until you have answered
Questions 137-A, -B, and -C.

If you'll note the instructions
in Paragraph 5,

all requests for
a therapeutic abortion

must include
a certified pregnancy test,

and if over 12 weeks pregnant,
you must fill out Form 101...

Good morning,
Mrs. Reynolds.

Come on, honey,
it's time to go.

I don't like shots.

It's not going
to hurt at all.

Okay, dearie,
this is just to relax you.

VOICE:
Margaret!

Margaret! No!

Margaret, no!

Margaret, no! No!

Get out!

Men are not permitted
in this ward!

It's her decision,
Mr. Reynolds,

and you'd better
get used to that fact!

Paul,
it's my decision.

Like hell it is.

Get your hands off me,
you butcher!

Darling, I know
how you really feel!

Throw him out!

Paul...

WOMAN:
♪ Beautiful dreamer... ♪

[NATIVES CHANTING]

[CHILDREN SINGING]

[CAROUSEL MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi, Mommy!

How do you feel?

I'm pregnant.

What did you say?

I'm pregnant!

MARGARET: How do you
feel about it, Paul?

PAUL: It's beautiful.

You're sure, Paul?

Bring another child
into a world as crazy as this?

Honey, our children will be
a credit to the world.

They'll make it less crazy.

All right.

Maybe we'll
give it a try.

Margaret--

Margaret!

Margaret,
I want to talk to you!

Later, darling.

Margaret!

I want to talk
to you.

There's plenty
of time.

Where are you going?

It's such a beautiful day--
I don't know.

Hey.

What?

I love you.

Daddy, I'm hungry,
I'm hungry!

Get me something to eat,
I'm hungry, Daddy!