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1
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,770
Whoever heard of a heatwave
in the Arctic?
2
00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:10,570
Welcome to the new normal.
3
00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:14,760
We're standing on a gigantic ice cap,
and it's 32 Fahrenheit.
4
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,850
Welcome to the Arctic summer.
5
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,380
Fahrenheit?
6
00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:21,750
Wait, did you just use
that antiquated Imperial measurement?
7
00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:24,350
Yeah, I did, Sweden.
8
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,120
I'm from Norway, A-hole.
Not Sweden!
9
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,350
Is there
any difference?
10
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,920
You Americans! You're so out of step
with the rest of the world.
11
00:01:30,930 --> 00:01:32,720
You're a scientist,
for God's sake.
12
00:01:32,730 --> 00:01:34,560
Glaciologist.
13
00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:37,130
You two knob jockeys
sound like a couple of Sheilas.
14
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:40,900
Let's get these core samples
and get back to the outpost.
15
00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:50,640
Guys, we hit something.
16
00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:53,280
This is some mean ice.
17
00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:55,750
That's why they call it
the Old Cold!
18
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,920
Yeah, well, I reckon just
increase the bit speed.
19
00:01:57,930 --> 00:01:59,860
Let's blast right through it.
20
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,320
Hey, guys?
21
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:06,370
I'm getting a seismic spike
in the ice.
22
00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:10,740
Yeah, well, it's probably
just an isostatic rebound.
23
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,040
Like hell, it is.
24
00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:20,610
I'm getting a big-ass
magnetic anomaly on my screen.
25
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:24,140
Whatever it is, it's alive,
and it's big.
26
00:02:24,150 --> 00:02:26,680
There are no big life forms
that live in solid ice.
27
00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:29,210
Maybe the backscatter effect
brought up a rock formation.
28
00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:30,920
Yeah, and maybe
it's the Easter Bunny!
29
00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:34,620
This is not a rock, and it sure
as shit isn't the Easter Bunny.
30
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:35,720
Dumbass!
31
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:48,770
Check it out.
32
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,450
Aussie!
33
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:14,230
Aussie? Aussie?
Aussie, do you copy?
34
00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,330
What the hell?
35
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,340
- What...
- Get it out! Get it out!
36
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:25,110
Come on, get it out. Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on, Yank!
37
00:03:27,980 --> 00:03:29,910
No! No!
38
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,880
Yankee!
39
00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:33,570
Yank!
40
00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:38,580
Yank?
41
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,450
No.
42
00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,630
No!
43
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,090
No!
44
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:27,730
Really, Gummer?
A motion detector?
45
00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:36,640
Perfection.
46
00:05:37,980 --> 00:05:42,070
Man alive,
it's hot as balls out there!
47
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,040
Hands where I can
see them, partner.
48
00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:47,080
Oh, gee-whiz, Gummer!
You know who I am!
49
00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:49,750
It's me,
Special Agent Dalkwed.
50
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,090
Do it, Agent Dickweed.
51
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:57,030
Are you threatening
a federal officer?
52
00:05:57,170 --> 00:06:00,060
That all depends, Taxman.
53
00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:03,500
Sticks and stones.
Is that a pellet gun, Gummer?
54
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,800
You bet
your sweet ass it is!
55
00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:08,170
Oh, since when
do you play with toys?
56
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:11,440
Since none of your damn business.
You armed?
57
00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:13,340
Of course, I'm armed.
58
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:17,640
All Special Agents with
the United States Treasury are armed.
59
00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:18,810
You know that.
60
00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:21,880
Special Agent!
You're a bean counter.
61
00:06:21,890 --> 00:06:25,420
This here is private property
in an open-carry state.
62
00:06:25,430 --> 00:06:28,020
And you wouldn't happen
to have any financial interest
63
00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:29,720
in said property,
now would you?
64
00:06:29,730 --> 00:06:32,460
Nope! Go slap a lien
somewhere else.
65
00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:34,590
Already have.
66
00:06:35,670 --> 00:06:37,160
Hey.
67
00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:39,100
I see you've changed teams.
68
00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:40,930
Hmm?
69
00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:43,370
No, just hats!
70
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:46,370
Well, it was a miracle
the Cubbies won that series.
71
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:49,470
And frankly, Gummer,
that's what you're gonna need,
72
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,250
a miracle.
73
00:06:51,390 --> 00:06:56,520
'Cause right now,
your ass is in my hands.
74
00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,750
Your point, Dickweed?
75
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,920
Your tax position has been
deemed frivolous by the IRS
76
00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:05,960
and your property has hereby
been seized.
77
00:07:05,970 --> 00:07:07,830
What? You can't!
78
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,000
I can, and I did!
79
00:07:10,610 --> 00:07:12,330
The IRS owns you, Gummer,
80
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:16,870
until such time as we can arrange
for confiscation of any and all items
81
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,970
deemed suitable
for government auction.
82
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,940
You parasitic son of a bitch!
83
00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:22,710
Yeah, your...
84
00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:30,780
Your well-endowed battery of firearms
might raise enough to make a dent
85
00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:34,150
in your failure to file
penalties and interest.
86
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:38,320
I detect the odorous stench
of Schadenfreude, Agent Dickweed!
87
00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:40,660
I will see you in court!
88
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:43,870
In court? Oh. Oh, no!
89
00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,940
We're way past that, Gummer.
90
00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:48,700
Way past.
91
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,270
Out of here!
92
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,840
Goodbye, Gummer.
93
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:55,410
And don't let the door
dislodge that poker up your ass!
94
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:58,010
Oh, I'll be really careful.
95
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:13,660
- Another satisfied customer?
- What?
96
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,500
Did you miss me?
97
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:21,370
Yeah, like a boil on my ass.
98
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,200
I see you got
the supply req.
99
00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:27,410
Oh, yeah. That eighth text
was a charm.
100
00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:30,840
"Hey, welcome home,
sonny boy!"
101
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:34,710
"Oh, good to see you".
"How long's it been?"
102
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,750
"Four or five weeks?" "Okay.
How'd the video shoot go?"
103
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,950
Fascist jackals!
104
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,590
Ooh, Government plates.
That can't be good.
105
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,760
Let me guess. IRS?
106
00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:50,430
They've got no right to waltz in here
and seize a man's property.
107
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,600
Come on, Burt. You've been flipping off
the Feds longer than Wesley Snipes.
108
00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:54,870
That's got to be a record.
109
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,470
This is the very thing that
sparked the Boston Tea Party.
110
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,810
No taxation
without representation!
111
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,750
It's a good thing Jodi decided
to stay at that law firm in Reno, huh?
112
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,810
- Lets you squat here?
- Nobody's squatting.
113
00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:09,450
I'm managing the store now.
114
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:10,880
Really? Congratulations.
115
00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:12,950
And I really love what
you've done with the place.
116
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,920
You really put the hyphen back
in anal-retentive. Jeez.
117
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,460
I can do
without the sarcasm, son.
118
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,990
Oh, come on, Burt.
Don't be hurt.
119
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,060
All right, now that I'm back,
let's hit that reset button, huh?
120
00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:25,930
Put some fresh content
up on YouTube,
121
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,130
try and resurrect
that Bull's-Eye Brand.
122
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:32,070
Not doing prepper videos anymore.
My director quit on me.
123
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,300
No, he didn't.
He's right here.
124
00:09:33,310 --> 00:09:36,580
I just had a small
mental health break.
125
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:39,580
What's up with that hat?
Wait a minute.
126
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,650
You change teams?
127
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:44,320
No, just hats!
128
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:47,450
Take it easy, Burt.
Look, I know you hate taking direction,
129
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:49,720
and my style's way too
improvisational for you, okay?
130
00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:52,360
Lord, you're giving me
a headache.
131
00:09:52,370 --> 00:09:54,560
Come on, Burt,
meet me in the middle.
132
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:58,200
Make sure you put $5
in that cash box.
133
00:09:58,210 --> 00:09:59,700
For what?
134
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,930
That beer doesn't come free.
135
00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:04,900
You're closing up?
136
00:10:04,910 --> 00:10:06,440
Dude, it's not Miller time yet.
137
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,810
You can't find your beach.
138
00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:09,440
Time for some shut-eye.
139
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:12,580
Since when do you "shut-eye"
in the middle of the afternoon?
140
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:14,780
Since you showed up!
141
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,790
You wonder why I go
to strip clubs!
142
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,840
What the hell happened here?
143
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,130
Something attacked them
from under the ice.
144
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,770
It can't be!
145
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,790
Chang's.
146
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,900
Yo, Burt! What's up?
147
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:14,700
Calisthenics.
Feel free to join in.
148
00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:16,470
I think I'll pass.
149
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,500
You wanna earn your keep,
go stock some shelves.
150
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:21,970
I'd love to, but you've got
a phone call.
151
00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:23,640
Take a message.
152
00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:25,310
I tried,
153
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:27,650
but there's a lady
holding on the line,
154
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:30,650
who's got a very sexy
phone voice, by the way.
155
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:33,890
She told me to tell you
that they've got, uh...
156
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,690
I can't read my writing.
157
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:39,460
What does that word...
What does that say? That she's got, uh...
158
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,730
- Graboids? Where?
- Mr. Gummer?
159
00:12:42,740 --> 00:12:44,160
Affirmative. Who's this?
160
00:12:44,170 --> 00:12:46,900
Dr. Rita Sims. I'm calling
from Nunavut Province, Canada.
161
00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,530
We're 67 degrees north.
162
00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:51,440
- That's the Canadian Arctic.
- Yes, it is.
163
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:54,210
I'm the station leader of
an international research team.
164
00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:56,440
We' re based at Bo�te Canyon.
165
00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:58,240
How'd you get this number?
You from the government?
166
00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,440
Is she hot?
167
00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:01,980
Well, I have an associate
familiar with your work.
168
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,720
I think your associate
must be half a bubble off plumb.
169
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:08,020
That was my first reaction,
but she's actually very bright.
170
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,090
She knows a lot
about Graboid mythology.
171
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:14,560
Graboids are no myth,
but they're a desert phenomenon.
172
00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:17,830
I think this is
a colossal time suck, Miss, uh...
173
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,630
Dr. Sims.
174
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,930
Graboids do not and cannot
exist in the Arctic, Dr. Sims!
175
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:25,100
- Impossible.
- Ask her if she's hot.
176
00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:27,870
Improbable but not impossible.
177
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,470
- Who's this?
- This is Valerie.
178
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,080
First, let me say that,
as a major Graboid enthusiast,
179
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:35,850
I have admired your work
for years. Here's what I know.
180
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:38,550
Graboids are subterranean
worm-like predator
181
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:42,650
unlike any other life form cataloged
in Earth's genetic or fossil record.
182
00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:45,190
When fully grown,
a Graboid can reach up
183
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,560
to 10 meters in length
and weigh up to 20 tons.
184
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:50,930
Their semi-rigid internal structure
is covered by a leathery carapace.
185
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:53,910
They're daytime hunters
and have no eyes,
186
00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:56,940
but what's most fascinating
to me about their predatory acuity
187
00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:59,170
is that it's based on vibration.
188
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,140
Go on. I'm listening.
189
00:14:01,150 --> 00:14:04,240
They have a massive black armored beak
and two hooked mandibles,
190
00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:05,710
one on either side of their jaw.
191
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,850
The species is Precambrian and have long
and powerful snake-like tentacles,
192
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:12,320
which can reach three meters
to ensnare their prey.
193
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:13,890
If you'd like,
I can give you the 411
194
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,290
On the morphological
subspecies
195
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:18,090
known as the Ass Blaster
a.k.a. Mexicana Combustus.
196
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:21,130
You're a treasure-trove of
Graboidology, Miss, but I...
197
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:24,760
You've hunted and killed them
on two different continents, Mr. Gummer.
198
00:14:24,770 --> 00:14:26,630
That's why I insisted
that we call.
199
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,670
But why are you so sure
this is a Graboid attack?
200
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,070
The kill site
has all the telltale signs.
201
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,670
Except for location.
202
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,710
I don't know.
Call it a gut feeling, intuition.
203
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,620
We need your help, Mr. Gummer,
and we need it ASAP!
204
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:44,450
Think of the adventure,
Graboids in the Arctic.
205
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:46,860
This could be
a whole new ballgame.
206
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,250
Batter up!
207
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:51,390
Yes.
208
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:55,460
You never asked
if she was hot!
209
00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:20,150
- Where are you going?
- Round two! I'm coming with.
210
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,890
Request denied.
211
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,460
What? Come on, here,
stop being Burt for a minute,
212
00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:27,130
and logic this thing out
with me.
213
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:30,630
This is our chance to revive
Burt Gummer's Bull's-Eye Brand,
214
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,760
get you free
of the taxman, dude!
215
00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:34,670
Let's be honest. You've got
a lot of red in your ledger.
216
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,870
My financial status
is none of your damn beeswax.
217
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,400
And you'll just be in the way.
218
00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:42,770
Oh, like I was
in South Africa? Huh?
219
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:45,480
That was a one-off!
Nothing more.
220
00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:49,480
You're looking at this through the wrong
end of the telescope here, friend.
221
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,980
What about your legacy, huh?
222
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:52,180
What about it?
223
00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:54,720
Do you know of any other
Graboid hunters out there?
224
00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:56,750
Uh, I don't.
225
00:15:57,070 --> 00:15:59,820
I know, you know,
Bigfoot hunters... No!
226
00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:02,890
You're Burt Gummer.
You're a one-off!
227
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:06,000
Come on, man, teach me!
Pay it forward.
228
00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:07,730
Oh, I'm not dead yet.
229
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:11,270
I know, and I'm not interested in
talking about your mortality, either,
230
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,700
but think about it.
Who's gonna fill your shoes
231
00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:16,810
when you can no longer outrun
or outgun these beasts, huh?
232
00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:18,440
I've got to
tell you something.
233
00:16:18,450 --> 00:16:21,750
Burt Gummer's got
some big-ass shoes to fill.
234
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:23,280
Size 12s.
235
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:25,280
I've seen you
in the locker room.
236
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:27,290
And you're my heir apparent.
Is that it?
237
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:29,020
You already led me through
one Graboid gauntlet.
238
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:33,620
- There's a lot you still don't know.
- Exactly my point.
239
00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:37,070
Learning can be fun!
Rosetta Stone me, dawg.
240
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:40,530
It was a decent enough
combat primer.
241
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,470
Hell, yeah, it was!
I was your wingman.
242
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,440
Wingman?
More like wingnut!
243
00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:46,570
Come on, that's...
244
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:48,840
That's a little harsh,
I think.
245
00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:52,440
Damn it!
246
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,120
Are you willing to follow orders?
247
00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:58,950
I mean, sometimes, I don't...
248
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,790
Look, the most important
six inches on the battlefield
249
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,270
are between your ears.
You got that?
250
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,860
I'd like to think I have more.
I think I'm 6.5.
251
00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:10,660
Don't crack wise with me.
252
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,030
Sir, yes, sir!
253
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,230
And have you filled out
254
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:18,940
the requisite non-resident
special exemption RCMP-5590 form?
255
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,240
Sir...
256
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:25,240
- What?
- The RCMP-5590 form!
257
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,810
For that firearm you're
planning on bringing into Canada.
258
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,520
No.
259
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:34,830
Well, then you better download
one and fill it out pronto.
260
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,190
Grab your arctic gear.
261
00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:39,960
Man!
262
00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:04,680
Welcome to
the Great White North, eh!
263
00:18:04,690 --> 00:18:07,350
Otherwise known
as Nowheresville.
264
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:10,420
You're about 1,000 miles
north of there.
265
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,560
You're somewhere
between, uh,
266
00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:16,060
Ain't-Never-Been
and Don't-Wanna-Go.
267
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,930
Where are
all the glaciers?
268
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:23,170
Melting. Sled dog unemployment's
at an all-time high.
269
00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:25,740
How much longer
till we're there?
270
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:29,410
Not far.
Just around the bend.
271
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,580
Where's your GPS?
272
00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:34,080
You're in the Arctic Circle.
273
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,120
Satellites up here
are more miss than hit.
274
00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:41,590
But don't worry.
It's all up here.
275
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,590
That's reassuring.
276
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,690
How is it back there,
Mr. Gummer?
277
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:48,660
My seismic vibration monitor
is completely useless.
278
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:52,930
Yeah, well, you can log in to the
inter-Web when we get you on station.
279
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:57,600
- Peachy.
- Hey, I'm a big fan of your series.
280
00:18:57,610 --> 00:19:02,870
I loved that episode on dried meats
and insects as proteins.
281
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:07,510
I see you're smuggling home-brew
grain alcohol into dry territory.
282
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:11,620
Well, the local tribal authority
are a bit blue-nosed,
283
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:14,790
so I'm forced to bring it
in under the radar.
284
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,190
Don't ask, don't tell, right?
285
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,530
Yeah.
286
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:26,560
Travis!
287
00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:29,740
I see it.
288
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,640
- It can't be.
- It is.
289
00:19:31,650 --> 00:19:34,510
- It is what?
- We got a hostile aerial incursion.
290
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,170
What's your altitude?
291
00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:37,340
1,400 feet.
292
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:41,910
I suggest you take evasive
action and put this plane on the ground.
293
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,650
Ass Blasters in the Arctic?
294
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,260
They're keying in
on your engine!
295
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:54,730
- Yeah, they're heat seekers.
- Who's they?
296
00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:57,030
Ass Blasters!
297
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,640
- Bird strike.
- We've lost the engine.
298
00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:09,940
No shit, Sherlock!
299
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:12,610
Get this down! Now!
300
00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:15,610
Stand by for some chop!
301
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:17,380
Does that mean crash?
302
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:21,020
Gravity never loses!
303
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:24,050
The best we can hope for
is a draw!
304
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:28,190
- Brace for impact!
- Impact? What impact?
305
00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:47,650
And we're here!
306
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:51,150
Whoa. We're so
out of here!
307
00:21:07,270 --> 00:21:08,760
Oh, no.
308
00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:13,170
Here they come,
the men in black.
309
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,060
Well, well, well!
What do we have here?
310
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,860
Tom and Jerry?
311
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,760
Frick and Frank?
312
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,930
No, more like
Butch and Sundance.
313
00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:38,560
Starsky and Hutch.
314
00:21:38,570 --> 00:21:41,230
Do I smell alcohol?
315
00:21:42,710 --> 00:21:44,940
My bird runs on bio-fuel.
316
00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:48,210
And you're bootlegging moonshine
into a First Nations territory?
317
00:21:48,220 --> 00:21:49,910
That is a big time no-no!
318
00:21:49,950 --> 00:21:52,610
You don't mind if we help
ourselves now, do you?
319
00:21:53,650 --> 00:21:55,950
Well, there's a matter
of payment, eh?
320
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,950
Put it on my tab.
321
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,890
And who might
you be?
322
00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:09,060
I'm your next-door neighbor
323
00:22:09,070 --> 00:22:10,960
while you're up here
on your little worm hunt.
324
00:22:10,970 --> 00:22:14,910
But there's no welcome mat
on my doorstep, so tread lightly.
325
00:22:15,980 --> 00:22:18,940
A piece of advice, Mr. Gummer.
326
00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:22,410
You stay out of my way
and pay your taxes.
327
00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:25,550
Consider yourself
properly warned.
328
00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:28,110
Do I know you?
329
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:30,920
I don't know. Do you?
330
00:22:32,130 --> 00:22:35,750
Since we're neighbors,
here's some neighborly advice.
331
00:22:36,430 --> 00:22:39,120
Beat a retreat until I get
this area cleared out.
332
00:22:39,130 --> 00:22:43,360
Retreat? Hell, no. We're just
getting started up here.
333
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,860
Then find a safe place
to hunker down.
334
00:22:45,870 --> 00:22:48,270
Consider yourself
properly warned.
335
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,540
You know that skid mark?
336
00:22:55,550 --> 00:22:57,140
What can you tell me
about him?
337
00:22:57,150 --> 00:22:59,110
Well, rumor has it
he's up here working
338
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,750
on some Area 51 stuff.
339
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,880
Some joint US-Canadian
turd factory
340
00:23:04,890 --> 00:23:08,790
being developed by Harpo...
Darpo...
341
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,190
You mean DARPA?
342
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,760
That's the one! Know them?
343
00:23:13,170 --> 00:23:16,470
Yeah, they're the acronym
for evil.
344
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,510
You must be Valerie?
345
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,340
At your service. And thanks
for answering our SOS.
346
00:23:32,350 --> 00:23:34,610
Yeah, my call sign,
these days.
347
00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:37,180
This is Aklark.
He's our resident local boy.
348
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,320
Hey, Mac. I saw you came in
a bit hectic there, huh?
349
00:23:40,330 --> 00:23:42,660
Yeah, just a little bit.
350
00:23:42,661 --> 00:23:45,320
Did you guys just come
from Burning Man, or...
351
00:23:46,130 --> 00:23:47,790
How's it, Mr. Burt?
352
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,930
Wow! They even know you
in Canada!
353
00:23:50,940 --> 00:23:53,700
You failed to tell me
about the AB infestation.
354
00:23:53,710 --> 00:23:55,770
- We have Ass Blasters?
- Yeah.
355
00:23:55,780 --> 00:23:57,470
It ain't a polar bear, girl.
356
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,300
Mom and Dad aren't
gonna believe it.
357
00:23:59,310 --> 00:24:00,800
"Mom and Dad"?
358
00:24:01,050 --> 00:24:03,110
Here's a blast from the past,
Mr. Gummer.
359
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,010
I'm Val and Rhonda's daughter.
360
00:24:05,020 --> 00:24:08,580
No! Val and Rhonda from
the OG Graboid apocalypse?
361
00:24:08,590 --> 00:24:10,850
Crazy, huh?
You must be Travis.
362
00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:12,020
I am.
363
00:24:12,030 --> 00:24:16,050
Uh... I kind of lost track
of your parents over the years.
364
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:19,860
It's okay. They're easy
to lose track of, especially Val.
365
00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:22,990
Let's get you back to the station.
Everybody's waiting.
366
00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:25,400
He's not
the keeping-in-touch type.
367
00:24:25,410 --> 00:24:26,900
Come on.
368
00:24:34,380 --> 00:24:36,040
Ah, bam!
369
00:24:36,050 --> 00:24:37,540
Dang!
370
00:24:42,890 --> 00:24:44,380
Aw, man!
371
00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:25,960
I see you've come up north
loaded for bear, Mr. Burt.
372
00:25:25,970 --> 00:25:28,930
Yeah, BSA .303. Nice.
373
00:25:28,940 --> 00:25:30,430
It'll kill most varmints.
374
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,760
Yeah, well, for the varmints
we're hunting,
375
00:25:32,770 --> 00:25:36,070
that's like shooting
a slingshot at a Sherman tank.
376
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,040
I thought it'd be colder than a
reindeer's ball bag up here.
377
00:25:39,050 --> 00:25:40,300
We're in the middle
of an Arctic heat wave,
378
00:25:40,310 --> 00:25:42,470
which has greatly accelerated
the snow melt.
379
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,340
Hell, I'm hotter
than a 50 cal on full auto!
380
00:25:45,350 --> 00:25:47,910
Mr. Gummer,
glad you could make it.
381
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,450
Welcome to the Bo�te Canyon
Arctic Research Station
382
00:25:50,460 --> 00:25:53,480
or, like we used to call it,
science at the edge of the world.
383
00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:56,120
You must be, uh,
Dr. Rita Sims?
384
00:25:56,130 --> 00:25:57,350
- Good to meet you.
- Yeah.
385
00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:58,690
This is Dr. Ferezze.
386
00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:01,060
- Charles Ferezze.
- Doc.
387
00:26:01,070 --> 00:26:02,260
How was your flight in?
388
00:26:02,270 --> 00:26:06,000
Well, let's just say, uh,
we hit some chop.
389
00:26:07,110 --> 00:26:09,130
We blew the engine.
390
00:26:09,140 --> 00:26:11,240
Actually, we came
under Ass Blaster attack,
391
00:26:11,250 --> 00:26:15,670
and during the ensuing
aerial dogfight, the engine was blown.
392
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,010
- An Ass Blaster?
- Yeah.
393
00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:19,710
Blew the engine?
394
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,380
But you have to fly me
back to Montreal so I can report
395
00:26:22,390 --> 00:26:25,020
to the powers that be about
the recent turn of events.
396
00:26:25,030 --> 00:26:29,520
Well, they'll just have to wait till
I get this puppy airborne again.
397
00:26:29,530 --> 00:26:31,760
I can't stay here
one more minute!
398
00:26:32,570 --> 00:26:35,900
Excuse me. I've got
an engine to fix.
399
00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:38,130
Excuse me.
400
00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:41,530
Dr. Ferezze, he startles
at the drop of a feather.
401
00:26:41,540 --> 00:26:43,940
I'm sorry.
We haven't met yet.
402
00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:46,300
Oh, Travis Welker,
my, uh...
403
00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:49,110
My wing, uh...
Wingman.
404
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:50,780
Thank you for coming.
405
00:26:51,150 --> 00:26:54,680
I've got to go inside,
get the lay of the land.
406
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,620
Sunset at 3:48 a.m.
407
00:26:58,690 --> 00:27:01,720
Well, it's the Land of
the Midnight Sun, Mr. Welker.
408
00:27:01,730 --> 00:27:05,760
Are you saying that the sun
is never going down on me?
409
00:27:05,770 --> 00:27:08,430
Well, it's never gonna go
below the horizon,
410
00:27:08,940 --> 00:27:10,960
if that's what you're asking.
411
00:27:11,070 --> 00:27:13,760
We sent a three-man
drill team to the glacial field
412
00:27:13,770 --> 00:27:16,000
about a half a day
up mountain from here.
413
00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:18,070
You have three KIA?
414
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,300
Killed in action.
415
00:27:19,310 --> 00:27:21,710
Whoa, that's a big
10-4, good buddy.
416
00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:24,370
- Name's Swackhamer.
- Swackhamer.
417
00:27:24,380 --> 00:27:25,940
I hammered-and-nailed
this place together.
418
00:27:25,950 --> 00:27:28,550
You need to know anything,
I'm your guy.
419
00:27:28,790 --> 00:27:32,720
There's two that we can
verify dead, one assumed dead.
420
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:34,420
Verified? How?
421
00:27:34,430 --> 00:27:35,720
Well, from the kill site.
422
00:27:35,730 --> 00:27:38,390
Rita and her crew managed
to recover a severed head,
423
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,370
a partially eaten pelvis,
and a half-eaten testicle.
424
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,230
How do you recover
a half-eaten testicle?
425
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,400
Now, where's all
the snow, Dr. Sims?
426
00:27:47,410 --> 00:27:50,930
This year in particular has been one
of the warmest on record up here.
427
00:27:50,940 --> 00:27:52,740
Meet Hart Hansen, Mr. Gummer.
428
00:27:52,750 --> 00:27:55,970
He's a PhD in Geomorphology
from the University of Cambridge.
429
00:27:55,980 --> 00:27:58,210
Ah, yeah, airplane boy.
430
00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:01,480
It's an RC. Kind of a hobby.
431
00:28:02,060 --> 00:28:04,320
It's actually a habit, um...
432
00:28:05,190 --> 00:28:07,450
Okay, it's an addiction. Anyway,
433
00:28:07,460 --> 00:28:08,920
it's a pleasure to meet you,
Mr. Gummer.
434
00:28:08,930 --> 00:28:10,420
I'm sure you'll find
that Bo�te Canyon
435
00:28:10,430 --> 00:28:12,760
is a very unique
geological phenomenon.
436
00:28:12,770 --> 00:28:15,130
This perennially
frozen tundra is interrupted
437
00:28:15,140 --> 00:28:17,760
for approximately
10 square kilometers by thawed soil.
438
00:28:17,770 --> 00:28:20,260
Thawed?
It's bone dry out there.
439
00:28:20,270 --> 00:28:22,300
The Meltwater Hot Springs
are a pleasant symptom
440
00:28:22,310 --> 00:28:24,840
of geothermal heat, which warms
the Earth from deep beneath the land
441
00:28:24,850 --> 00:28:26,070
that we're standing on.
442
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,440
That explains the ABs.
443
00:28:27,450 --> 00:28:28,670
Ass Blasters!
444
00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:33,780
- Ass Blasters...
- You think this is funny?
445
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:40,190
These creatures are no joke.
They are all-go, no-quit killing machines.
446
00:28:40,660 --> 00:28:42,390
Now, I'm sorry for the loss
of your friends,
447
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,820
but if you don't do exactly
as I say,
448
00:28:44,830 --> 00:28:46,990
they won't be the last
to die around here.
449
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,660
Not funny, Mr. Gummer.
We get it.
450
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:52,330
The permafrost at a higher
elevation is melting,
451
00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:57,110
so the tundra is more easily breached.
Ergo, Graboids.
452
00:28:58,010 --> 00:29:01,310
You're telling me melting ice caps
and warmer temperatures
453
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:05,640
are causing this, uh,
Graboid Arctic stampede?
454
00:29:05,650 --> 00:29:07,140
Kind of, but there's more.
455
00:29:07,150 --> 00:29:09,880
Enlighten me.
Why here?
456
00:29:09,890 --> 00:29:11,950
Evolution, Mr. Gummer.
457
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,350
There's one thing
Nature has taught us,
458
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,190
and that's life can expand
into new territories.
459
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,060
Maybe these are
the first Graboids.
460
00:29:18,070 --> 00:29:21,690
- Yeah, like pre-Precambrian.
- Exactly.
461
00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:25,330
And maybe they migrated south millions,
maybe even billions of years ago
462
00:29:25,340 --> 00:29:27,060
and evolved into a desert creature.
463
00:29:27,070 --> 00:29:30,130
And now, after countless
giga-annum lying dormant in ice...
464
00:29:30,140 --> 00:29:31,540
They've awakened.
465
00:29:31,550 --> 00:29:35,640
Come on, this sounds
like a bunch of sassafras!
466
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,120
It does sound sassafrassy!
467
00:29:38,850 --> 00:29:41,450
Dr. Sims, a word?
468
00:29:46,860 --> 00:29:48,450
How much longer?
469
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:54,220
I've got to cold-stitch the intake
manifold, rebuild the carb.
470
00:29:54,230 --> 00:29:56,460
Look, if you don't get
this clunker in the air soon, I'll...
471
00:29:56,470 --> 00:29:58,440
You'll what, Mr. Freeze?
472
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:03,870
Ferezze. Dr. Charles Ferezze.
473
00:30:08,820 --> 00:30:10,510
What is it?
474
00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:18,710
DARPA.
475
00:30:20,930 --> 00:30:23,060
What are they doing here?
476
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:31,400
- Oh, them?
- Shh!
477
00:30:31,540 --> 00:30:33,960
Yes, them.
478
00:30:33,970 --> 00:30:36,230
What's your association
with them?
479
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,140
They're our
research neighbors.
480
00:30:38,150 --> 00:30:41,410
Why are we whispering?
They can't hear us.
481
00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:44,040
When did they arrive?
482
00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:46,680
They arrived a couple
of months ago.
483
00:30:46,690 --> 00:30:49,110
They're working on some
US-Canadian project.
484
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:50,310
It's very hush-hush.
485
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,750
Why? What?
486
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,220
Bio-weapons is what.
487
00:30:57,230 --> 00:31:00,220
I'll bet you a dollar
to a donut hole we've zeroed in
488
00:31:00,230 --> 00:31:01,960
on DARPA's testing ground.
489
00:31:01,970 --> 00:31:04,730
You think that
our research neighbors
490
00:31:04,740 --> 00:31:07,930
are breeding these creatures
as bio-weapons?
491
00:31:07,940 --> 00:31:10,470
Bingo! This is
the killing ground,
492
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,600
and you're the guinea pigs.
493
00:31:12,610 --> 00:31:14,270
I think you're reaching.
494
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:18,180
It's a verifiable fact that
DARPA started training dolphins
495
00:31:18,190 --> 00:31:21,280
as bomb-carriers
during Vietnam.
496
00:31:21,290 --> 00:31:26,780
More lately, they've been outed
for weaponizing cyborg insects.
497
00:31:28,030 --> 00:31:32,690
No, ma'am, I wouldn't put anything
past these black-hat Mengeles.
498
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,430
We got Ass Blasters on campus!
499
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,140
Dr. Ferezze is out there
with that thing.
500
00:31:46,150 --> 00:31:49,040
Oh, Lord. That guy's
turned into a real ass-ache.
501
00:31:49,050 --> 00:31:51,240
What's the 20 on that AB?
502
00:31:55,990 --> 00:31:59,150
That flaming sphincter
is on the roof!
503
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,520
Eyes! We need
eyes on that roof!
504
00:32:06,530 --> 00:32:08,500
I'm bringing up
the roof cam!
505
00:32:24,050 --> 00:32:25,750
All right, listen up!
506
00:32:26,250 --> 00:32:29,480
If there are Ass Blasters on station,
Graboids aren't far behind.
507
00:32:29,490 --> 00:32:34,150
They respond to seismic vibrations,
so everyone stay still.
508
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,830
Dr. Ferezze. Just the man
I wanted to see.
509
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,210
The bodies, or what's left of them,
are ready for transport.
510
00:32:49,211 --> 00:32:52,400
When you have a minute,
we need to go through the details again.
511
00:32:52,410 --> 00:32:54,910
We've been through it.
It was an apparent Graboid attack.
512
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,140
Graboid?
513
00:33:14,300 --> 00:33:16,740
Locked and loaded.
514
00:34:06,590 --> 00:34:09,080
That thing just took down
our comms tower.
515
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,410
We've got no talk.
516
00:34:10,420 --> 00:34:12,120
Our data-link
and NetCam are down, too.
517
00:34:12,130 --> 00:34:14,250
How'd that
ass-wipe get out there?
518
00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:18,160
Now I've got to save his sorry butt!
I'm going outside.
519
00:34:35,350 --> 00:34:37,610
You ever seen
an Ass Blaster before?
520
00:34:37,620 --> 00:34:39,140
- Nope.
- Yeah.
521
00:34:39,150 --> 00:34:40,740
This is a first.
522
00:34:40,820 --> 00:34:44,980
They're pretty cool, actually,
but they're mean, and they stink.
523
00:34:44,990 --> 00:34:47,620
I had a boyfriend like that once.
524
00:34:52,730 --> 00:34:54,190
You single?
525
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,460
Are you trying
to get sweet with me?
526
00:34:56,470 --> 00:34:59,230
- Definitely.
- It's not gonna work.
527
00:35:26,130 --> 00:35:28,190
Doc! Doc!
528
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,560
Doc! Grow a spine, huh?
529
00:35:31,570 --> 00:35:32,660
Look at me.
530
00:35:32,670 --> 00:35:34,500
I have balls of steel.
Say it!
531
00:35:34,510 --> 00:35:36,900
I have balls of steel.
532
00:35:36,910 --> 00:35:39,200
My balls are stainless steel!
533
00:35:39,210 --> 00:35:41,870
My balls are stainless steel!
534
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,910
My balls are in
the Guinness Book of Balls!
535
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,780
My balls are in
the Guinness Book of Balls!
536
00:35:49,790 --> 00:35:52,220
Right! You put this on.
537
00:35:52,230 --> 00:35:55,590
- Yes.
- It'll hide your heat signature, huh?
538
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,920
Now, look. You stick with me
like a shadow. You hear that?
539
00:35:58,930 --> 00:36:00,020
Yes.
540
00:36:00,030 --> 00:36:02,260
Now, put that dick
back in your pants
541
00:36:02,270 --> 00:36:04,030
- and do what I do, right?
- Yes, sir.
542
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,160
- Roger?
- Roger.
543
00:36:05,170 --> 00:36:07,470
- Roger that. Let's go.
- Okay.
544
00:36:11,380 --> 00:36:14,570
Come on, soldier.
Hoods up!
545
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,870
What the hell?
546
00:36:57,020 --> 00:36:59,120
Suck on this, bird brain!
547
00:37:08,270 --> 00:37:09,960
Go away, sucker!
548
00:38:01,860 --> 00:38:03,780
How are you
feeling, Mr. Gummer?
549
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,050
What's going on?
550
00:38:10,230 --> 00:38:12,360
- You just had surgery.
- What?
551
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,920
Arthroscopic surgery.
To remove a mondo tapeworm
552
00:38:14,930 --> 00:38:17,790
that was causing a cluster-fete
in your intestines.
553
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,330
I know. Gross, huh?
554
00:38:21,210 --> 00:38:23,900
Oregon State.
Corvallis, right?
555
00:38:23,910 --> 00:38:26,340
Yup. Go Beavers!
556
00:38:27,010 --> 00:38:29,540
You know, my dad's been
telling me stories about you
557
00:38:29,550 --> 00:38:31,510
since I could bounce
on his knee and...
558
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,110
I still can't believe
Val McKee's your father!
559
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,510
He's more of a dad, really.
560
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,480
Crazy uncle, actually.
561
00:38:38,490 --> 00:38:39,920
Wild, huh?
562
00:38:39,930 --> 00:38:43,290
Your father was the most
brilliant underachiever lever met.
563
00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:46,260
Yeah. That's what Mom
always says.
564
00:38:46,270 --> 00:38:48,360
He always told me
what a hard-ass you were.
565
00:38:48,370 --> 00:38:51,340
I mean, are.
566
00:38:51,570 --> 00:38:53,500
Oh, no way. No way!
Are those...
567
00:38:53,510 --> 00:38:56,700
Graboid skin? Yeah.
Dad made them for Mom.
568
00:38:56,710 --> 00:39:00,340
She handed them down to me.
Pretty indestructible.
569
00:39:00,580 --> 00:39:02,270
What are you doing up here?
570
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:06,240
Internship. I'm doing my Masters
in Mathematical Geosciences.
571
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:07,840
How are you feeling, Burt?
572
00:39:07,850 --> 00:39:09,980
Speaking of underachievers.
573
00:39:09,990 --> 00:39:14,520
I am as strong
as a fifth of whiskey, Wingman.
574
00:39:14,530 --> 00:39:18,190
Really? 'Cause you looked slower
than the Mississippi out there.
575
00:39:18,330 --> 00:39:21,720
Where's my munitions,
my combat vest, my clothes, huh?
576
00:39:21,730 --> 00:39:23,260
To your left.
577
00:39:28,710 --> 00:39:30,870
Well, feel better, Mr. Gummer.
578
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,070
All right. Thank you, Miss McKee.
579
00:39:33,180 --> 00:39:35,770
You can call me Val.
580
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:43,410
What's going on with you, Burt?
581
00:39:43,420 --> 00:39:45,880
It's not like you to take
a knee on the field.
582
00:39:45,890 --> 00:39:47,620
We need to talk.
583
00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:58,790
Where'd you get that HK91?
584
00:39:59,570 --> 00:40:01,130
Mr. Gummer?
585
00:40:01,470 --> 00:40:04,270
There's something
that you need to see.
586
00:40:38,650 --> 00:40:42,640
The water levels dropped 15 centimeters
since our last measurement.
587
00:40:42,780 --> 00:40:47,180
The samples have detected
a new chemical element in the soil gas.
588
00:40:47,420 --> 00:40:49,350
Can you determine what it is?
589
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:54,760
Uh... The computer's
reading it as HCO2H.
590
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,320
Formic acid?
591
00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:58,790
Yeah.
592
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,360
Yeah, and it's a highly
concentrated dose.
593
00:41:01,370 --> 00:41:04,100
The acidity in the pH
is off the charts.
594
00:41:13,350 --> 00:41:15,370
What the hell was that?
595
00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,320
You hear that?
596
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:52,810
Get out! Get out now!
597
00:42:02,660 --> 00:42:04,220
What the hell?
598
00:42:44,470 --> 00:42:45,960
What is it?
599
00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:48,900
You've been infected, Mr. Gummer,
600
00:42:48,910 --> 00:42:51,530
by what appears to be a
parasitic organism that is
601
00:42:51,540 --> 00:42:54,070
quite hostile and has
an extremely slow gestation.
602
00:42:56,250 --> 00:42:58,150
What's the bad news?
603
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:02,180
Well, unfortunately, it secretes
a neurotoxin at a certain maturation,
604
00:43:02,190 --> 00:43:03,550
killing the host.
605
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:07,050
Killing the host?
You mean, Burt being the host?
606
00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:16,260
We've identified the toxin
as originating from a Graboid.
607
00:43:16,270 --> 00:43:17,530
A Graboid?
608
00:43:17,540 --> 00:43:19,600
- What...
- Just indulge me.
609
00:43:23,710 --> 00:43:26,300
Blood behind the eye caused
by cerebral inflammation.
610
00:43:26,310 --> 00:43:28,140
Advanced stage.
It's not good.
611
00:43:28,150 --> 00:43:30,310
You're gonna need antibodies.
612
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,010
Well, how do we get them?
613
00:43:32,590 --> 00:43:34,070
From a Graboid.
614
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:37,420
Maybe we can get one
to stop by the blood bank.
615
00:43:39,860 --> 00:43:42,690
How the hell did you
get infected by a Graboid?
616
00:43:53,540 --> 00:43:55,560
I was in the belly
of the beast.
617
00:43:59,550 --> 00:44:02,310
Okay, so we kill a Graboid.
We get it done.
618
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:03,470
I got this, Burt.
619
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,890
The antibodies need to be extracted
from a live Graboid to be viable.
620
00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:10,010
A live Graboid?
621
00:44:11,390 --> 00:44:13,290
Mission: Impossible.
622
00:44:13,730 --> 00:44:16,560
You plan on throwing a lasso
over its neck?
623
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,160
If you'll excuse me,
I need to do a perimeter sweep.
624
00:44:20,170 --> 00:44:23,030
I don't think you understand
the urgency of your condition.
625
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,700
Don't let the urgent
get in the way of the important.
626
00:44:29,740 --> 00:44:32,210
Your body is failing, Mr. Gummer.
627
00:44:32,211 --> 00:44:34,040
Bullshit! I want a second opinion.
628
00:44:34,050 --> 00:44:35,910
Yeah, I know that's all macho
and everything, Burt,
629
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:37,710
but I happen to care
about your health!
630
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:39,340
Go care someplace else.
631
00:44:39,350 --> 00:44:41,550
That's a dick thing to say.
632
00:44:46,460 --> 00:44:48,720
No bad seed
shall go unpunished!
633
00:44:58,240 --> 00:44:59,530
Get it off of me!
634
00:45:02,780 --> 00:45:04,000
Hang on.
635
00:45:04,010 --> 00:45:05,880
Please don't let go!
636
00:45:05,980 --> 00:45:08,240
- Hold on!
- Don't let go!
637
00:45:09,550 --> 00:45:12,570
- My God!
- Please, don't let go!
638
00:45:12,950 --> 00:45:14,580
- Please, don't let go.
- I got you.
639
00:45:14,590 --> 00:45:17,250
- Hold me! Hold me!
- Shit! I got you.
640
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,220
No!
641
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,990
All right!
Block that window!
642
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,400
Okay, everyone,
buckle your chinstraps
643
00:45:34,410 --> 00:45:38,030
and pack a meat sandwich!
We are under attack.
644
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,210
Secure all doors and windows!
645
00:45:40,350 --> 00:45:42,070
Well, this is just great.
646
00:45:42,420 --> 00:45:45,440
We're under attack by
a hostile underground life form.
647
00:45:45,450 --> 00:45:47,480
We're all going to die!
648
00:45:48,150 --> 00:45:49,780
Listen to me, Doc.
649
00:45:49,790 --> 00:45:51,480
Take a couple of
tablespoons of cement
650
00:45:51,490 --> 00:45:53,950
and harden the hell up, huh?
651
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:57,120
Okay, look, anybody
with a weapon, load it up.
652
00:45:57,130 --> 00:46:00,790
We have the sharp end of the stick.
Whatever you got, use it!
653
00:46:01,970 --> 00:46:03,770
Easy, there, cowgirl!
654
00:46:04,970 --> 00:46:07,260
I can't get this seismic
vibration monitor working.
655
00:46:07,270 --> 00:46:09,230
Our data-link and NetCam
are down, Mr. Gummer.
656
00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:11,430
Yeah, the Ass Blaster tore our
comms tower apart last night.
657
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:12,540
Can you fix it?
658
00:46:12,550 --> 00:46:14,770
Swackhamer's been
working on it all morning, but...
659
00:46:14,780 --> 00:46:18,240
The HF antenna's totally destroyed.
Coax has been severed.
660
00:46:18,250 --> 00:46:19,610
The grid pack dish
is totally shot.
661
00:46:19,620 --> 00:46:21,380
All right, how long
will it take to fix?
662
00:46:21,390 --> 00:46:23,710
- A day, at least.
- All right.
663
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,850
Iridium satellite phone?
664
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,350
- Who took the sat phone?
- I saw Dr. Ferezze with it earlier.
665
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:32,460
Oh, Ferezze flew the coop.
666
00:46:32,470 --> 00:46:35,390
All right, find him and get
that sat phone to me ASAP!
667
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,090
It's our lifeline out of here.
We've got to call in Evac
668
00:46:38,100 --> 00:46:39,860
and get these kids
someplace safe!
669
00:46:39,870 --> 00:46:41,660
I can drop an elk at 800 yards
670
00:46:41,670 --> 00:46:43,470
and field dress it
in less than 30 minutes.
671
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,030
Maybe that'll pull you
out of your worry well.
672
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:46,700
We're up for this, Mr. Gummer.
673
00:46:46,710 --> 00:46:48,840
Copy that, Miss McKee.
674
00:46:48,850 --> 00:46:52,940
We are flying blind.
Advantage, Graboid.
675
00:46:52,950 --> 00:46:56,510
I was never properly briefed
on the lay of the land, Dr. Sims.
676
00:46:56,690 --> 00:46:58,050
We are here.
677
00:46:58,060 --> 00:47:01,580
There are mountains to our
east, west, north, and south.
678
00:47:01,590 --> 00:47:02,850
It's a true box canyon.
679
00:47:02,860 --> 00:47:06,660
Total geographic isolation.
D�j�-freaking-vu!
680
00:47:06,670 --> 00:47:09,560
This is the bunkhouses.
That's DARPA encampment.
681
00:47:09,570 --> 00:47:12,500
The hangar's about 120 meters
to our direct front.
682
00:47:12,510 --> 00:47:13,960
Aflac's down there.
683
00:47:13,970 --> 00:47:16,000
It's Aklark!
684
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:19,370
Make yourself useful, Wingman.
Give the hangar a holler.
685
00:47:19,380 --> 00:47:21,040
With what,
a cup and a string?
686
00:47:21,050 --> 00:47:22,740
Use the walkie-talkie.
687
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:31,950
Yo, North Star One, this is
North Star Base. You copy?
688
00:47:31,990 --> 00:47:35,080
You got Mac, North Star One.
Send your traffic. Over.
689
00:47:35,090 --> 00:47:37,120
Look, shut it down now,
all right?
690
00:47:37,130 --> 00:47:40,190
Stop all work
and stay inside.
691
00:47:40,430 --> 00:47:42,860
- What's this?
- A road.
692
00:47:42,870 --> 00:47:45,230
You mean washboard.
The road's out.
693
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,900
Landslide last winter.
It's totally impassable.
694
00:47:47,910 --> 00:47:50,800
This whole base is like
open range for a Graboid.
695
00:47:50,810 --> 00:47:52,600
Wait a second.
You're telling me
696
00:47:52,610 --> 00:47:55,810
we're smack dab in the middle
of a kill zone and no way out?
697
00:48:05,790 --> 00:48:07,450
Everybody freeze!
698
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:25,930
Valerie.
699
00:48:37,020 --> 00:48:38,820
I think it's leaving.
700
00:48:38,860 --> 00:48:40,350
No.
701
00:48:40,590 --> 00:48:43,990
It's caught wind of
another vibration.
702
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:45,860
Something's moving.
703
00:48:46,070 --> 00:48:48,090
Or someone.
704
00:48:53,610 --> 00:48:56,100
I can't find Dr. Ferezze
in the bunkhouse.
705
00:48:56,110 --> 00:48:58,910
That cheese-dick
gone AWOL again?
706
00:49:01,210 --> 00:49:02,700
Oh!
707
00:49:09,490 --> 00:49:10,980
Jeez.
708
00:49:13,530 --> 00:49:15,760
Dr. Ferezze!
709
00:49:15,830 --> 00:49:16,890
Hart, no!
710
00:49:16,900 --> 00:49:19,920
Back here! Don't follow
stupid with stupid.
711
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,000
Dr. Ferezze!
712
00:49:31,510 --> 00:49:34,540
Come back, Dr. Ferezze!
713
00:49:44,460 --> 00:49:46,150
Dr. Ferezze,
where are you going?
714
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:47,620
Anywhere but here!
715
00:49:47,630 --> 00:49:49,590
Just calm down and think,
Dr. Ferezze.
716
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,520
There's nowhere
for you to go!
717
00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:52,990
I'll take my chances.
718
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,190
- Hart!
- Here it comes!
719
00:49:58,170 --> 00:50:01,200
Dr. Ferezze!
Please, don't do this!
720
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:03,870
Don't start the car!
721
00:50:04,410 --> 00:50:06,700
- Please!
- Adi�s, amigo.
722
00:50:06,710 --> 00:50:08,680
Dr. Ferezze!
723
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,250
Shit!
724
00:50:37,780 --> 00:50:39,300
Damn, I don't have a shot!
725
00:50:46,590 --> 00:50:49,180
Dr. Ferezze!
726
00:50:53,430 --> 00:50:57,860
Inside! Everyone, now!
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
727
00:51:03,770 --> 00:51:05,630
This shit just got real!
728
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,130
I can't believe what that thing did
to Dr. Ferezze.
729
00:51:08,140 --> 00:51:10,800
They just came out of hibernation and,
based on their body mass index,
730
00:51:10,810 --> 00:51:12,540
those creatures
need to eat a lot.
731
00:51:12,550 --> 00:51:14,470
- How many are there?
- It's impossible to tell...
732
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,910
without my
seismic vibration monitor.
733
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,770
Well, we can't stay here.
734
00:51:18,780 --> 00:51:22,610
Copy that. We've got weapons,
but not enough for these bad boys.
735
00:51:22,620 --> 00:51:24,380
The bigger the problem,
the bigger the hammer.
736
00:51:24,390 --> 00:51:25,650
Yeah? What've you got
in mind?
737
00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:27,720
There's a couple of cases
of dynamite in the hangar.
738
00:51:27,730 --> 00:51:30,320
Petrol, tools,
bear bangers, odds and ends.
739
00:51:30,330 --> 00:51:33,920
There's enough stuff to MacGyver
a bomb we can stuff down their throats!
740
00:51:33,930 --> 00:51:35,690
Sounds like that's our FOB.
741
00:51:35,700 --> 00:51:37,160
One problem.
742
00:51:37,170 --> 00:51:39,730
The hangar's got a compacted
chip-stone floor.
743
00:51:39,740 --> 00:51:41,500
Oh, come on, man.
They're gonna be like
744
00:51:41,510 --> 00:51:43,130
sand sharks
bobbing for apples.
745
00:51:43,140 --> 00:51:45,030
Yeah, and we'll be
the Granny Smiths.
746
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,370
This floor is 1.2 meters
above the ground,
747
00:51:47,380 --> 00:51:49,140
supported by
a steel substructure.
748
00:51:49,150 --> 00:51:51,670
Those things won't be able
to knock this place down.
749
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,180
Yeah, but it's only
a matter of time
750
00:51:53,190 --> 00:51:56,180
before they come blasting through
the floor and eat our lunch.
751
00:51:56,190 --> 00:51:58,910
I've got an idea.
The generator's in the hangar, right?
752
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:02,220
Yeah. Triple-phase power,
63-amp cables.
753
00:52:02,230 --> 00:52:03,820
According to
these blueprints,
754
00:52:03,830 --> 00:52:05,850
this hangar's got
a deep-pile foundation.
755
00:52:05,860 --> 00:52:08,490
Yeah, steel caissons going
directly into the bedrock.
756
00:52:08,500 --> 00:52:09,560
Drilled it myself.
757
00:52:09,570 --> 00:52:13,160
You think you can re-route
the power so it goes to the steel caissons?
758
00:52:13,170 --> 00:52:14,830
Are you saying
what I'm thinking?
759
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,230
What are you thinking
I'm saying?
760
00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:18,600
I'm thinking that you're saying that
we shoot a dose of milliamps
761
00:52:18,610 --> 00:52:20,540
straight into the groundwater
and create some kind of...
762
00:52:20,550 --> 00:52:23,610
- Underground electrical fence.
- Exactly.
763
00:52:23,620 --> 00:52:26,610
That's exactly what I'm saying
you're thinking. Can you do it?
764
00:52:26,620 --> 00:52:27,910
I've done more with less.
765
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,350
Yeah, but if
it doesn't work, we die.
766
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:34,220
So what the hell, Burt?
Have you ever nailed Jell-O to a wall?
767
00:52:34,260 --> 00:52:35,580
I'm not sure
how that's relevant.
768
00:52:35,590 --> 00:52:38,050
It's relevant
because I did it.
769
00:52:38,060 --> 00:52:40,260
And guess what? It stuck.
770
00:52:40,270 --> 00:52:42,560
You know why?
Because everyone said I couldn't.
771
00:52:42,570 --> 00:52:44,900
All right, I got it.
I got it!
772
00:52:45,340 --> 00:52:48,530
And we've got a plan.
We're off to the hangar.
773
00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:51,030
Teams of two.
Travis, you, and Dr. Sims.
774
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,070
Swackhamer, you're with me.
775
00:52:53,650 --> 00:52:56,380
Wingman, we're gonna need
a diversion!
776
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,000
I'm on it.
777
00:52:58,350 --> 00:53:00,340
I'm gonna pretend
I didn't just hear you leave me out
778
00:53:00,350 --> 00:53:02,620
because I'm coming
on this worm hunt.
779
00:53:03,260 --> 00:53:06,820
Elk hunter, huh?
Think you can bang on this short arm?
780
00:53:06,830 --> 00:53:10,450
Piece of cake. You zero that scope
for distance or dangerous game?
781
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,760
- What do you think?
- Stupid question.
782
00:53:12,770 --> 00:53:15,730
Mind if I tweak it for
my preferred point of impact?
783
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:21,300
Dad and I always zeroed our scopes
at 2.5 inches high at 100 yards.
784
00:53:21,570 --> 00:53:23,270
Well, whatever floats your boat.
785
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:25,800
You're on overwatch.
Take Vargas and go on the roof.
786
00:53:25,810 --> 00:53:26,970
Roger that.
787
00:53:26,980 --> 00:53:29,740
And hold on tight, huh?
She'll kick some!
788
00:53:29,750 --> 00:53:31,240
Got you.
789
00:53:31,950 --> 00:53:34,040
The gun or Vargas?
790
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:39,650
You feel up for this, old man?
791
00:53:39,660 --> 00:53:41,280
I'm fine.
792
00:53:41,290 --> 00:53:42,820
You make ready.
793
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,120
Okay, you ready, Dr. Sims?
794
00:53:45,260 --> 00:53:49,130
Oh, shit.
Look what the cat dragged in.
795
00:53:49,340 --> 00:53:51,690
- Oh, good. You're here.
- Mr. Cutts.
796
00:53:51,700 --> 00:53:54,860
I just lost my top scientist
at the Meltwater Hot Springs.
797
00:53:54,870 --> 00:53:58,030
You just got in over your head
and had to punt, huh?
798
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,440
Your experiment's run amok.
799
00:54:00,450 --> 00:54:01,700
My experiment?
800
00:54:01,710 --> 00:54:04,970
What, you think I'm actually
controlling these...
801
00:54:04,980 --> 00:54:08,810
Yeah, but of course you would.
Your psych eval suggested as much.
802
00:54:08,820 --> 00:54:10,250
You had me profiled?
803
00:54:10,260 --> 00:54:14,150
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but this is not the Island of Dr. Moreau.
804
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:17,290
I'm not some kind of walking
ethical dumpster fire.
805
00:54:17,300 --> 00:54:19,520
My mission here
is more elevated than that.
806
00:54:19,530 --> 00:54:24,060
Oh, yes. No DARPA skunk
works in the hopper, huh?
807
00:54:24,070 --> 00:54:29,430
No bio-engineering perhaps?
A little Graboid gene-splicing?
808
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:32,880
You know, that's a good idea,
but bio-weapons are not my thing.
809
00:54:33,150 --> 00:54:34,840
I'm here with an engineering team
810
00:54:34,850 --> 00:54:36,870
to assess the purity
of the groundwater
811
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:40,540
and to design an aquifer to move it out
of the Arctic and into civilization.
812
00:54:40,550 --> 00:54:42,180
This is about water?
813
00:54:42,190 --> 00:54:44,250
Water is the new oil,
and, as you may have noticed,
814
00:54:44,260 --> 00:54:46,620
the Arctic has it
in abundance now.
815
00:54:46,630 --> 00:54:48,480
It took just
one of those creatures
816
00:54:48,490 --> 00:54:50,990
less than a minute to kill
my best scientist.
817
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:56,330
Nobody move! Nobody move.
818
00:54:58,240 --> 00:55:00,030
It's under the floor.
819
00:55:00,370 --> 00:55:01,960
Don't move.
820
00:55:04,540 --> 00:55:06,340
Shh!
821
00:55:07,510 --> 00:55:09,070
Let me unload.
822
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:10,770
All right.
823
00:55:11,250 --> 00:55:13,010
Fire at will!
824
00:55:17,220 --> 00:55:18,710
Yes!
825
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:49,180
Help! Help me!
826
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,580
Here!
827
00:55:50,590 --> 00:55:51,980
Help me! Help me!
828
00:56:00,270 --> 00:56:02,720
All right. Let's scoot
and shoot!
829
00:56:02,730 --> 00:56:03,890
What about us?
830
00:56:03,900 --> 00:56:06,600
Find high ground,
solid ground,
831
00:56:06,740 --> 00:56:09,570
and whatever you do,
don't move!
832
00:56:14,580 --> 00:56:16,540
North Star One
to North Star Hangar.
833
00:56:16,550 --> 00:56:18,520
We are coming your way. Over.
834
00:56:18,580 --> 00:56:20,880
Roger that, Mr. Gummer.
835
00:56:20,890 --> 00:56:22,910
Sounds like
you stepped in it up there.
836
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,690
Affirmative. Time to dig in,
work together. Over.
837
00:56:26,990 --> 00:56:28,280
Is it a hunting party?
838
00:56:28,290 --> 00:56:30,320
Sure as hell
ain't no pony show!
839
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:35,090
All right, look,
I'm gonna lead it away from here.
840
00:56:35,330 --> 00:56:37,700
When I do, run!
841
00:56:50,820 --> 00:56:52,540
Yeah!
842
00:56:52,850 --> 00:56:54,940
Like a dog to a bone!
843
00:56:54,950 --> 00:56:57,980
Bio-mechanics are so sexy!
844
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:33,020
To the hangar!
845
00:57:33,130 --> 00:57:34,650
Come on!
846
00:57:43,740 --> 00:57:46,030
Incoming! Three o'clock!
847
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,940
Oh, shit! Not another one!
848
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:52,870
The truck!
849
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,070
- Swackhamer, get up!
- Yeah.
850
00:58:03,260 --> 00:58:05,520
Come on! In the truck!
851
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,050
Come on!
852
00:58:13,830 --> 00:58:15,760
That thing's got me
by the pants!
853
00:58:15,770 --> 00:58:17,290
So take off your pants!
854
00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:19,160
100% no!
855
00:58:19,170 --> 00:58:21,300
- Take off your pants, Rita!
- No!
856
00:58:21,310 --> 00:58:23,730
- Take them off now, goddammit!
- No!
857
00:58:23,740 --> 00:58:26,140
- Why?
- I'm not wearing any underwear!
858
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,090
You're going commando
in the Arctic?
859
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:47,620
I don't wear underwear.
860
00:58:47,630 --> 00:58:49,530
It's too restricting.
861
00:58:49,770 --> 00:58:51,790
- I think I love!
- Yeah?
862
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:02,400
- Hey, Hart?
- Yeah?
863
00:59:02,410 --> 00:59:04,910
How many of those
energy drinks did you have today?
864
00:59:08,690 --> 00:59:10,480
Six, maybe seven.
865
00:59:10,490 --> 00:59:12,290
I mean, could be eight.
866
00:59:12,890 --> 00:59:14,580
Get ready to run, Wingman.
867
00:59:14,590 --> 00:59:18,620
We're executing
Diversion Tactic Two.
868
00:59:19,530 --> 00:59:22,260
Okay, Hart. Time to take one
for the team.
869
00:59:22,270 --> 00:59:25,570
Free Willy
and let the big dog eat.
870
00:59:29,980 --> 00:59:31,970
Seriously?
You want me to drop trou?
871
00:59:31,980 --> 00:59:33,470
Don't question my orders!
872
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:36,470
Now, you take out that disco stick,
and let it dance!
873
00:59:36,650 --> 00:59:38,840
Okay. Don't anybody look.
874
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:43,810
Dude! We have bigger worms
to worry about!
875
00:59:43,820 --> 00:59:45,980
Get ready to redeploy!
876
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,690
That boy's got game!
877
00:59:53,170 --> 00:59:54,760
Fire at will!
878
01:00:03,340 --> 01:00:06,400
- Preferably today!
- I'm trying!
879
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:13,980
Oh, come on! If you're gonna
piss like a puppy, stay on the porch.
880
01:00:16,590 --> 01:00:19,820
I'm no puppy, Mr. Gummer.
I'll tell you that.
881
01:00:19,830 --> 01:00:22,160
Gonna build me an ark!
882
01:00:44,380 --> 01:00:47,980
We're clear to the hangar.
Go! Go! Go!
883
01:01:14,510 --> 01:01:16,450
Here, here! Take this!
884
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:31,620
Bad news, Val. Eleven o'clock!
885
01:01:31,630 --> 01:01:33,050
That makes
the Graboid count two.
886
01:01:33,060 --> 01:01:35,790
Yeah, two alive.
One dead.
887
01:02:28,250 --> 01:02:29,810
Burt, you copy? Over?
888
01:02:29,820 --> 01:02:31,690
You there? Copy?
889
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:32,980
Burt?
890
01:02:32,990 --> 01:02:35,960
Copy, Wingman.
891
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:38,320
You doing okay?
892
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,520
Why the hell wouldn't I be?
893
01:02:40,530 --> 01:02:42,820
We're fighting
a Graboid apocalypse
894
01:02:42,830 --> 01:02:44,590
with a bunch of noncoms!
895
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:45,960
Don't worry about me!
896
01:02:45,970 --> 01:02:50,500
Just stick to
the mission objective.
897
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:04,950
We've got to get
one of those worms pronto!
898
01:03:17,740 --> 01:03:20,800
Watch out!
It's headed your way!
899
01:03:20,810 --> 01:03:23,570
Incoming.
From the drill tower.
900
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:27,340
Say a prayer, I'm gonna flip
the switch on this ittle cucarcha.
901
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,910
One! Two!
902
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:34,370
Three!
903
01:03:34,650 --> 01:03:35,880
Shit!
904
01:03:43,130 --> 01:03:44,790
Watch out!
905
01:03:56,210 --> 01:03:59,400
It's working.
It's actually working!
906
01:03:59,410 --> 01:04:01,270
It can't get through.
907
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:04,140
I told you I've done more
with less!
908
01:04:04,150 --> 01:04:08,350
Come on! Whoo! Yeah!
909
01:04:10,090 --> 01:04:12,180
How're you doing
out there, Burt?
910
01:04:12,390 --> 01:04:13,910
Talk to me.
911
01:04:14,930 --> 01:04:16,620
Burt, you're alive?
912
01:04:19,330 --> 01:04:21,720
You've never given up on
anything in your life, old man.
913
01:04:21,730 --> 01:04:24,060
Don't start now!
914
01:04:24,870 --> 01:04:26,700
You father
is very sick, Travis.
915
01:04:26,710 --> 01:04:30,730
He can't die. Not now.
Not on my watch.
916
01:04:30,740 --> 01:04:33,680
This is his second
neuro-muscular collapse.
917
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:40,010
Come on, Travis.
918
01:04:40,020 --> 01:04:41,640
Man up.
919
01:04:42,950 --> 01:04:44,810
Okay, look, we capture
one of these things, right?
920
01:04:44,820 --> 01:04:46,310
How do we get
what we need?
921
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:49,720
There should be a glandular sac
somewhere in the throat.
922
01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:55,720
Looks like Sally's testing
our underground electrical fence.
923
01:04:55,730 --> 01:04:57,290
Who's Sally?
924
01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:59,120
You named it?
925
01:04:59,470 --> 01:05:01,400
After an ex.
926
01:05:01,670 --> 01:05:04,300
Sally Soulsmasher.
927
01:05:04,310 --> 01:05:06,200
She was a dirty,
man-eating bitch
928
01:05:06,210 --> 01:05:09,310
who used to stick her nose
where it didn't belong.
929
01:05:10,980 --> 01:05:13,110
Everything okay out there?
930
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,480
Copy that, sir.
Just locking the gate. All clear.
931
01:05:16,490 --> 01:05:19,010
Stop moving, you idiot.
932
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:33,500
It's coming through the floor!
933
01:05:37,410 --> 01:05:38,900
Wingman?
934
01:05:39,180 --> 01:05:40,570
Wingman, you there?
935
01:05:40,580 --> 01:05:42,770
Burt. How are you feeling?
936
01:05:42,780 --> 01:05:45,650
Fit as a butcher's dog.
937
01:06:09,710 --> 01:06:12,110
I'm coming your way, Wingman!
938
01:06:31,830 --> 01:06:33,990
Let's go, guys. Let's go.
Let's get to work.
939
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,660
Swackhamer, start making
those bombs.
940
01:06:44,940 --> 01:06:47,700
- Look, Burt, we...
- Got to destroy these devils!
941
01:06:47,710 --> 01:06:50,770
- No, we have to catch one of these!
- We don't catch. We kill!
942
01:06:50,780 --> 01:06:53,170
- Even if it kills you?
- This is not about me.
943
01:06:53,180 --> 01:06:56,850
- Yes, it is!
- Not if we still got Graboids out there.
944
01:06:56,860 --> 01:06:58,410
Come on, Burt.
I'm just getting to know you.
945
01:06:58,420 --> 01:07:00,080
I don't wanna see
your sorry ass die.
946
01:07:00,090 --> 01:07:03,120
I'll be dead when I say I'm dead!
947
01:07:03,130 --> 01:07:04,450
That's not how this works!
948
01:07:04,460 --> 01:07:06,960
Last I checked, you don't give
the orders around here.
949
01:07:06,970 --> 01:07:08,760
Oh, I do now.
950
01:07:08,970 --> 01:07:11,190
You never answered
my question.
951
01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:13,800
Where'd you get that HK91?
952
01:07:15,510 --> 01:07:17,000
Heather.
953
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:19,100
My wife.
954
01:07:19,680 --> 01:07:21,300
Ex-wife, Burt.
955
01:07:21,310 --> 01:07:23,640
Who gave you the right
to meddle in my affairs?
956
01:07:23,650 --> 01:07:26,240
Hey! I'm the result of one of
your affairs, remember?
957
01:07:26,250 --> 01:07:28,680
Bullshit! Bullshit!
958
01:07:28,690 --> 01:07:31,950
You're not hooking and reeling me
into this conversation!
959
01:07:34,430 --> 01:07:36,830
I guess I touched
his thermostat.
960
01:07:37,930 --> 01:07:41,730
You wanna die? Huh?
Do you?
961
01:07:42,700 --> 01:07:44,630
Stop being so stubborn.
962
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:46,130
Damn!
963
01:07:53,010 --> 01:07:54,570
Did you...
964
01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:58,210
Did you say hooking
and reeling?
965
01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:01,180
Jesus, Burt, you are a genius.
966
01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:04,810
Hey, Mac, how are we doing
on that plane?
967
01:08:04,820 --> 01:08:08,150
Well, I've got to put a wrench
to a few more screws.
968
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,890
Everybody, listen up.
969
01:08:10,530 --> 01:08:13,250
I think I've got a way we can
catch one of these things!
970
01:08:15,830 --> 01:08:17,630
What the hell is that?
971
01:08:24,540 --> 01:08:25,700
The seismic alarm.
972
01:08:28,650 --> 01:08:31,980
We set the core sample
drilling on auto for today, remember?
973
01:08:41,230 --> 01:08:44,750
That damn drilling tower
is like Graboid catnip.
974
01:08:44,760 --> 01:08:47,420
That puss has already
taken the bait.
975
01:08:54,610 --> 01:08:57,930
We've got to shut it down
before Hart becomes a Happy Meal!
976
01:08:57,940 --> 01:09:00,300
The timer panel's attached
to the drill tower.
977
01:09:00,310 --> 01:09:03,970
Okay, if we can't turn it off, we've got
to lead that Graboid away from Hart.
978
01:09:05,050 --> 01:09:06,870
I've got to shut off the drill rig.
979
01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:08,310
You can't go down there, Val.
980
01:09:24,570 --> 01:09:27,540
Battle stations!
Let's make some noise!
981
01:09:27,541 --> 01:09:31,410
Double the voltage this time.
I want him dead!
982
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,300
Hold on, Hart.
I'm coming!
983
01:09:35,950 --> 01:09:38,710
Hurry up, Val.
Number two's coming right at you.
984
01:09:40,950 --> 01:09:45,220
Go! Go! Go! Raise Cain!
985
01:10:01,540 --> 01:10:04,270
Come to papa!
986
01:10:21,430 --> 01:10:23,690
Swackhamer!
987
01:10:23,700 --> 01:10:25,390
Yeah!
988
01:10:43,450 --> 01:10:46,380
That'll close the carpool lane!
989
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:48,140
Give me some! Whoo!
990
01:10:48,150 --> 01:10:49,480
Give me some, Burt!
991
01:10:49,490 --> 01:10:50,610
Whoo!
992
01:10:50,620 --> 01:10:55,580
Broke into the wrong goddamn hangar,
didn't you, you bastard?
993
01:11:01,030 --> 01:11:02,820
Val, it's in front of you!
994
01:11:14,910 --> 01:11:16,970
Let's go, Hart.
It's retreating!
995
01:11:17,980 --> 01:11:19,470
Jump!
996
01:11:19,550 --> 01:11:21,140
Come on!
997
01:11:22,350 --> 01:11:24,480
All right, let's not celebrate
in a huddle, folks.
998
01:11:24,490 --> 01:11:27,450
We've still got at least
one Graboid out there.
999
01:11:33,030 --> 01:11:34,790
Uh, guys,
1000
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:38,230
I hate to drop a turd in the punch bowl,
but the genny's blown!
1001
01:11:38,740 --> 01:11:40,670
What the hell does that mean?
1002
01:11:41,410 --> 01:11:45,140
No underground electrical fence.
1003
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:57,740
We've got to get him to medical.
1004
01:12:01,290 --> 01:12:04,720
Okay. Get that airplane ready to fly,
and wait for my call.
1005
01:12:04,730 --> 01:12:07,820
All right, everybody,
I'm on the point.
1006
01:12:07,830 --> 01:12:10,100
Single file.
Okay.
1007
01:12:15,440 --> 01:12:16,930
Any movement?
1008
01:12:17,580 --> 01:12:19,130
Nothing. Zip.
1009
01:12:19,140 --> 01:12:20,840
- Zilch.
- Nada mucho.
1010
01:12:20,850 --> 01:12:22,900
- I say we run, get there fast.
- Yeah.
1011
01:12:22,910 --> 01:12:26,070
If that thing attacks,
I'll just honey badger the shit out of it.
1012
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:28,310
Uh, help? Over here!
1013
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:32,610
Oh, shit, he lived?
I've got to do the right thing, don't I?
1014
01:12:32,620 --> 01:12:34,520
It's a good habit to start.
1015
01:12:34,530 --> 01:12:38,690
Okay, Rita, you take
Aklark and Burt to the medical.
1016
01:12:38,700 --> 01:12:40,390
I don't care what
you have to do to keep him alive!
1017
01:12:40,400 --> 01:12:41,960
Swackhamer, you're with me.
1018
01:12:41,970 --> 01:12:46,600
On three, we break.
One, two, three, break!
1019
01:12:53,440 --> 01:12:57,000
Man, am I glad to see you guys now!
Get me down from here.
1020
01:12:57,010 --> 01:12:58,340
Jump, you chicken-shit!
1021
01:12:58,350 --> 01:13:01,240
No,no,no.
Don't jump, okay?
1022
01:13:01,250 --> 01:13:03,010
But I'll tell you what you can do.
1023
01:13:03,020 --> 01:13:06,750
Remove all the tax liens
on Mr. Gummer for the last 27 years
1024
01:13:06,760 --> 01:13:08,280
and give him back his house,
1025
01:13:08,290 --> 01:13:10,450
and I'll make sure that you stay
on this side of the tundra.
1026
01:13:10,460 --> 01:13:11,620
Yeah, whatever. Done.
1027
01:13:11,630 --> 01:13:13,620
Uh, no, we're not done.
1028
01:13:13,630 --> 01:13:17,860
We also don't wanna pay taxes
for the rest of our life.
1029
01:13:18,100 --> 01:13:20,930
Federal or state, yeah.
Nevada doesn't have state taxes.
1030
01:13:20,940 --> 01:13:23,300
Yeah, no federal taxes!
1031
01:13:23,310 --> 01:13:25,370
Well, that's gonna be
a hard one to swing.
1032
01:13:25,380 --> 01:13:28,640
Uh, have a nice life!
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.
1033
01:13:28,650 --> 01:13:30,670
- I'll do it.
- You didn't see the ladder, asshole?
1034
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:33,410
Dude! Baby bag.
1035
01:13:38,590 --> 01:13:41,120
Hey, candy-ass!
If you have a set of balls,
1036
01:13:41,130 --> 01:13:42,850
now would be the time
to use them.
1037
01:13:42,860 --> 01:13:44,350
Yeah.
1038
01:13:58,340 --> 01:14:01,400
There she blows.
Time for some psy ops.
1039
01:14:01,410 --> 01:14:05,010
I'm gonna distract Sally Soulsmasher
with some shock and awe!
1040
01:14:06,020 --> 01:14:07,510
Good luck with that.
1041
01:14:14,990 --> 01:14:17,460
Suck on this, worm!
1042
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,230
Come on!
1043
01:14:27,910 --> 01:14:29,930
Whoo!
1044
01:14:30,070 --> 01:14:32,340
Yeah!
1045
01:14:32,740 --> 01:14:34,170
Yeah!
1046
01:14:34,180 --> 01:14:36,600
Ride them, cowboy!
1047
01:14:44,090 --> 01:14:46,450
Giddyup! Oh, yeah!
1048
01:14:46,460 --> 01:14:48,120
How do you like me now?
1049
01:15:00,640 --> 01:15:02,000
Oh, good. Get me out of here.
1050
01:15:02,010 --> 01:15:04,430
- Take it easy, Burt.
- Don't tell me to take it easy.
1051
01:15:04,440 --> 01:15:05,730
It's time for a sit rep.
1052
01:15:05,740 --> 01:15:07,470
Yeah, I think you better sit
this rep out.
1053
01:15:07,480 --> 01:15:09,400
- Who put you in charge?
- You did.
1054
01:15:09,410 --> 01:15:11,410
- I did?
- Yeah, once you got hurt, Burt.
1055
01:15:11,420 --> 01:15:13,440
That puts me in charge
whether you like it or not.
1056
01:15:13,450 --> 01:15:15,890
I feel fine.
1057
01:15:17,090 --> 01:15:19,450
Tell everybody to gear up
and get ready.
1058
01:15:21,890 --> 01:15:23,280
Get ready for what?
1059
01:15:23,290 --> 01:15:25,450
Ready to save your ass,
that's what!
1060
01:15:25,460 --> 01:15:28,260
Capturing a Graboid! Right?
1061
01:15:28,430 --> 01:15:30,860
You might as well try taking
the black off a crow.
1062
01:15:30,870 --> 01:15:34,900
Hell, while you're at it,
why don't you tell the rain not to dry?
1063
01:15:34,910 --> 01:15:36,200
I'm your only shot.
1064
01:15:36,210 --> 01:15:38,500
- You?
- Yeah, me, Burt! Me!
1065
01:15:38,510 --> 01:15:40,900
Your job is to preserve
my legacy!
1066
01:15:40,910 --> 01:15:44,440
My job is to make a last stand
against these Arctic Graboids.
1067
01:15:44,450 --> 01:15:47,580
You can't stand,
Colonel Custer!
1068
01:15:48,890 --> 01:15:51,450
- Back off!
- It doesn't belong to you!
1069
01:15:51,790 --> 01:15:54,120
Cold, dead hands,
is that it, Burt?
1070
01:15:56,930 --> 01:15:58,950
What is wrong with you?
1071
01:16:00,670 --> 01:16:03,890
I'm trying to save your bacon here,
you stubborn old coot.
1072
01:16:03,900 --> 01:16:05,660
You've crossed the line!
1073
01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:08,360
This fight is done with you.
1074
01:16:08,370 --> 01:16:10,460
Yeah, well, I'm not done
with it!
1075
01:16:10,710 --> 01:16:11,930
Yeah, you are.
1076
01:16:15,650 --> 01:16:17,640
Don't leave me unarmed.
1077
01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:31,450
There.
1078
01:16:32,030 --> 01:16:34,190
You got your true love back.
1079
01:16:35,570 --> 01:16:38,500
I guess blood ain't thicker
than ammo, is it, Burt?
1080
01:16:50,310 --> 01:16:51,800
Yeah.
1081
01:17:14,140 --> 01:17:18,440
If you've got Ass Blasters,
you have Graboids.
1082
01:17:18,480 --> 01:17:20,300
That's right, soldier.
1083
01:17:20,310 --> 01:17:23,540
This is FOB. DOA.
1084
01:17:23,850 --> 01:17:24,910
TMZ.
1085
01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:28,820
My balls are in
the Guinness Book of Balls!
1086
01:17:39,260 --> 01:17:40,990
That went well!
1087
01:17:41,630 --> 01:17:44,070
Yeah, it sounded like it.
1088
01:17:44,970 --> 01:17:46,560
You ready?
1089
01:17:49,540 --> 01:17:51,270
It's a good look for you.
1090
01:17:57,520 --> 01:18:00,680
I guess the big boy's still out there
sleeping somewhere.
1091
01:18:02,220 --> 01:18:04,210
I hope he's the only one.
1092
01:18:04,760 --> 01:18:07,490
When you get pushed in,
you've got to swim, right?
1093
01:18:18,200 --> 01:18:20,100
Hey, Swackhamer, sit rep?
1094
01:18:20,600 --> 01:18:22,090
Seconds away!
1095
01:18:22,370 --> 01:18:25,830
Travis, this plan, it's
1096
01:18:25,840 --> 01:18:27,900
fricking crazy, huh?
1097
01:18:27,910 --> 01:18:30,470
Just like nailing Jell-O
to a wall.
1098
01:18:30,480 --> 01:18:31,940
Yeah, bro.
1099
01:18:31,950 --> 01:18:35,780
This is Mac. I'm wheels up
in five!
1100
01:18:36,090 --> 01:18:38,310
Takes me back
to my banner-tow days.
1101
01:18:38,320 --> 01:18:40,850
Hope the old girl
can handle the load.
1102
01:18:40,860 --> 01:18:44,150
Don't worry. Come on.
It's just a pure catch-and-release mission!
1103
01:18:44,160 --> 01:18:46,290
When the fish is on,
you want me
1104
01:18:46,300 --> 01:18:48,960
to pull up hard and do
a wingover, eh?
1105
01:18:48,970 --> 01:18:53,300
Affirmative. We're gonna use
the bitch's momentum to land her.
1106
01:18:55,270 --> 01:18:58,670
Okay, Aklark, she's all yours.
1107
01:18:58,810 --> 01:19:02,110
Just keep it steady.
We don't wanna wake the beast up.
1108
01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:14,880
Dude!
1109
01:19:14,890 --> 01:19:16,620
Shh!
1110
01:19:37,450 --> 01:19:39,350
Let's go fishing.
1111
01:20:03,840 --> 01:20:06,670
All right, Valerie, you ready
to take down one of these bad boys?
1112
01:20:06,680 --> 01:20:08,170
I'm so ready.
1113
01:20:12,380 --> 01:20:13,870
All right!
1114
01:20:14,220 --> 01:20:17,150
When I get in position,
rock the cradle.
1115
01:20:20,190 --> 01:20:22,060
I'm baiting the hook.
1116
01:20:23,390 --> 01:20:26,620
Okay, Val, get ready.
It's awake.
1117
01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:36,330
Three hundred meters
and closing!
1118
01:20:54,990 --> 01:20:57,790
- One hundred meters and closing.
- Okay, let's go.
1119
01:20:58,960 --> 01:21:01,590
All right, Mac, bring her in.
Bring her in.
1120
01:21:29,990 --> 01:21:31,480
Oh, shit.
1121
01:21:42,470 --> 01:21:43,930
Hooked!
1122
01:21:57,520 --> 01:21:59,750
Oh, shit!
1123
01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:02,090
Release! Release!
1124
01:22:23,880 --> 01:22:25,850
What now?
1125
01:22:26,320 --> 01:22:29,610
Halle-freaking-lujah!
1126
01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:45,430
All right, listen, listen.
Absolutely no guns, okay?
1127
01:22:45,440 --> 01:22:47,690
We don't wanna kill it.
We want it alive.
1128
01:22:47,700 --> 01:22:49,730
We're going old-school
on this thing.
1129
01:22:49,740 --> 01:22:53,540
Shirts versus skins, all right?
1130
01:22:56,610 --> 01:22:59,170
- A three iron?
- It was the best I could do.
1131
01:23:00,220 --> 01:23:02,010
All right.
1132
01:23:03,550 --> 01:23:05,680
Let's go Alpha on this worm!
1133
01:23:15,630 --> 01:23:17,060
Okay.
1134
01:23:17,070 --> 01:23:18,560
All right.
1135
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:23,870
Whoa, whoa.
1136
01:23:25,580 --> 01:23:27,070
Come on.
1137
01:23:27,740 --> 01:23:30,240
Get him! Come on, kid!
Get him!
1138
01:23:30,250 --> 01:23:31,740
Oh, man!
1139
01:23:32,420 --> 01:23:35,180
Guys, good effort.
1140
01:23:35,190 --> 01:23:37,310
Uh, Swackhamer, you got this.
1141
01:23:37,320 --> 01:23:39,280
- Come on, Swackhamer.
- Whoo! Okay.
1142
01:23:39,290 --> 01:23:41,880
- You got it, man.
- You got it!
1143
01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:03,550
Back off!
Throw it!
1144
01:24:07,280 --> 01:24:09,450
Tap in. Tap in, big man.
1145
01:24:11,290 --> 01:24:15,120
Go get it, Aklark!
It's all yours!
1146
01:24:16,130 --> 01:24:17,620
Don't be afraid.
1147
01:24:17,630 --> 01:24:19,320
It can smell your fear!
1148
01:24:20,060 --> 01:24:22,030
- Make him sushi!
- Come on!
1149
01:24:27,340 --> 01:24:28,460
Yeah!
1150
01:24:36,150 --> 01:24:37,300
Amateurs!
1151
01:24:39,120 --> 01:24:42,280
Wow! I did not
need to see that!
1152
01:25:07,440 --> 01:25:10,640
What's good for the Graboid
is good for the Gummer.
1153
01:25:10,810 --> 01:25:12,300
All right.
1154
01:25:19,390 --> 01:25:21,250
Ugh!
1155
01:25:24,460 --> 01:25:26,220
That can't
be comfortable.
1156
01:25:28,900 --> 01:25:32,690
You went poking around
in my throat with a big-ass needle,
1157
01:25:32,700 --> 01:25:34,690
I'd be pissed!
1158
01:25:36,210 --> 01:25:38,830
Dude, you need a Tic Tac.
1159
01:25:42,180 --> 01:25:44,240
That is so awkward.
1160
01:25:53,960 --> 01:25:55,320
Oh, it smells so bad.
1161
01:25:55,330 --> 01:25:57,850
They should call him
Deep Throat.
1162
01:26:02,500 --> 01:26:05,130
That is all kinds of nasty.
1163
01:26:10,540 --> 01:26:14,130
At least the gland
wasn't in the prostate!
1164
01:26:14,240 --> 01:26:15,730
Yeah.
1165
01:26:51,320 --> 01:26:53,110
I'm sorry, Travis.
1166
01:26:54,020 --> 01:26:55,510
That's it?
1167
01:26:56,950 --> 01:26:59,440
There has to be
something more you can do.
1168
01:27:34,260 --> 01:27:39,490
That is no way
to treat an HK91!
1169
01:27:48,540 --> 01:27:50,340
Sorry, Burt.
1170
01:27:51,210 --> 01:27:52,800
It won't happen again.
1171
01:28:03,430 --> 01:28:05,000
Oh.
1172
01:28:21,570 --> 01:28:26,070
With all due respect, soldier,
you need a shower.
1173
01:28:28,710 --> 01:28:31,080
What's the damn fuss?
1174
01:28:31,420 --> 01:28:34,040
How do you not die?
You never die.
1175
01:28:41,830 --> 01:28:44,020
- Mr. Gummer.
- Sir.
1176
01:28:44,030 --> 01:28:45,950
Glad to see you
up and at them.
1177
01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:48,860
Now, it gives me
great pleasure to present you
1178
01:28:48,870 --> 01:28:52,830
with your permanent
federal tax lien release, in perpetuity,
1179
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:55,300
as well as the title deeds
to your property.
1180
01:28:55,310 --> 01:28:57,700
Signed, sealed...
1181
01:28:57,710 --> 01:28:59,400
And delivered.
1182
01:29:07,580 --> 01:29:10,280
- You're too kind.
- You're right.
1183
01:29:10,290 --> 01:29:14,280
This species will make
an exceptional bio-weapon.
1184
01:29:14,290 --> 01:29:17,580
When it comes to Graboids,
I'm rarely wrong, Mr. Cutts.
1185
01:29:17,590 --> 01:29:20,590
Mmm-hmm.
With the right neuro-implant,
1186
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:23,760
it could be a bunker-buster
for God and country.
1187
01:29:24,000 --> 01:29:25,390
What do you think?
1188
01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:26,990
I was right about you all along.
1189
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:31,700
You and your DARPA minions,
you're a bunch of malevolent ineptoids!
1190
01:29:34,640 --> 01:29:36,810
What the hell was that,
Mr. Gummer?
1191
01:29:38,820 --> 01:29:41,280
That, sir, is the trigger.
1192
01:29:41,350 --> 01:29:44,440
And I am the finger.
1193
01:29:44,450 --> 01:29:46,580
Look, I don't know
what you're doing,
1194
01:29:46,590 --> 01:29:49,950
but I'd strongly
advise you not to do it!
1195
01:29:49,960 --> 01:29:51,930
Oh?
1196
01:29:53,300 --> 01:29:55,720
That Graboid is
US government property!
1197
01:29:55,730 --> 01:29:57,930
Hate to be a buzzkill.
1198
01:29:57,970 --> 01:29:59,630
Shoot it.
Blow it out of the sky!
1199
01:30:09,150 --> 01:30:10,700
Yes!
1200
01:30:16,850 --> 01:30:20,380
Graboids don't make
good pets, Mr. Cutts.
1201
01:30:20,390 --> 01:30:21,650
Preach on it, Burt!
1202
01:30:21,660 --> 01:30:24,490
Yeah!
1203
01:30:25,000 --> 01:30:26,350
Yeah!
1204
01:30:26,360 --> 01:30:30,690
Mr. Gummer,
my plane's all packed and ready to go.
1205
01:30:30,700 --> 01:30:33,500
- Roger that.
- By the way,
1206
01:30:33,540 --> 01:30:35,030
Nice work.
1207
01:30:36,510 --> 01:30:39,000
Dad was right.
You are a hard-ass!
1208
01:30:39,680 --> 01:30:41,700
Tell your dad I said, "Hey".
1209
01:30:41,710 --> 01:30:44,080
Tell him not to drop in.
1210
01:30:44,150 --> 01:30:45,810
He's not really
the dropping-in kind of guy.
1211
01:30:45,820 --> 01:30:48,180
He's more of
the barging-in type.
1212
01:30:48,520 --> 01:30:51,180
This is gonna be one hell
of a story to tell back home.
1213
01:30:51,190 --> 01:30:54,660
Tell him I said you're a better shot
than he ever was.
1214
01:30:54,790 --> 01:30:56,520
Thanks, Mr. Gummer.
1215
01:30:57,730 --> 01:30:59,660
Call me Burt!
1216
01:31:04,000 --> 01:31:07,090
You know I won't be
in the Arctic Circle forever, right?
1217
01:31:07,600 --> 01:31:10,770
Six months,
I'll be back in the States.
1218
01:31:11,370 --> 01:31:13,400
You trying to get sweet
with me?
1219
01:31:13,680 --> 01:31:15,300
Definitely.
1220
01:31:15,710 --> 01:31:17,300
Never gonna happen.
1221
01:31:18,520 --> 01:31:20,240
I think it might.
1222
01:31:24,050 --> 01:31:25,650
Thanks.
1223
01:31:26,520 --> 01:31:28,050
For everything.
1224
01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:45,070
Travis, what have you learned
from me?
1225
01:31:45,240 --> 01:31:47,900
Uh, to not trust anyone
or anything ever?
1226
01:31:47,910 --> 01:31:50,240
You call that a goodbye kiss?
1227
01:31:50,250 --> 01:31:55,580
A man brings a big bore .44 Magnum
to a fight, not some broke dick .22.
1228
01:31:55,590 --> 01:31:57,310
Broke dick?
That was sweet dick.
1229
01:31:57,320 --> 01:31:59,050
- Oh, was it?
- Yeah.
1230
01:31:59,060 --> 01:32:03,220
'Cause that sorely lacked any kind
of velocity or stopping power,
1231
01:32:03,230 --> 01:32:06,120
not to mention
maximum penetration.
1232
01:32:06,130 --> 01:32:07,390
Okay, it's a little late to have
1233
01:32:07,400 --> 01:32:10,260
the guns-and-ammo
talk, Burt. All right?
1234
01:32:12,040 --> 01:32:13,590
Pathetic.
1235
01:32:57,080 --> 01:32:59,010
- It was better.
- Better?
1236
01:32:59,020 --> 01:33:03,340
It was no .44 Magnum.
.357, maybe.
1237
01:33:03,350 --> 01:33:04,710
Dude, what do you know
about kissing?
1238
01:33:04,720 --> 01:33:08,590
I know enough not to unholster
my weapon unless I'm prepared to use it.
1239
01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:11,320
It's nice to see you back
to your old self, Burt.
1240
01:33:11,330 --> 01:33:15,020
What do you say we get on home
and get ourselves some real sunshine, huh?
1241
01:33:16,670 --> 01:33:19,160
Sounds like perfection, Pops.
1242
01:33:26,480 --> 01:33:28,240
Pops.
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